Ask Christopher West

Questions answered this episode:

1. Five years ago I discovered Theology of the Body, and it transformed me. Since then, I’ve wrestled with balancing modesty and femininity. I’ve stopped self-tanning and wearing heavy makeup because they felt like a mask. As a single woman desiring marriage, I want to look my best but not rely on things that hide my true self. My mom says I should wear more makeup, especially on dates, which makes me feel like I’m not good enough naturally. How do I present myself beautifully and confidently without overusing makeup, and what’s the morality of cosmetics, hair dye, and tanning?
2. I’ve been discerning marriage, but I don’t feel mentally healthy enough to raise children. Even if I overcome anxiety, knowing how quickly mental health can collapse makes me fear the responsibility of another life. Because of this, I’ve considered a Josephite marriage. But a sexless marriage fills me with sadness, partly because it reminds me of my illness. Do you have any guidance for me?
3. For years I failed as a husband, hurting my wife verbally and emotionally. By God’s grace, I’ve turned around, and she’s still here, but she does little to actively seek healing for our marriage. I know the damage is my fault, yet I still feel frustrated that she isn’t more proactive—and then I beat myself up for even being frustrated. What advice do you have for a husband who caused the wounds but struggles when the one hurt won’t do more?

Resources:

⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠

Instagram Video Link

Colbie Caillat - Try

List of Counselors & Psychologists⁠

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

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Submit you question here!

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🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:

1. You often say to bring desires to Jesus or Mary, but when I do, nothing happens. Prayer, stillness, and adoration haven’t helped. Years of silence have made me see Jesus less as a loving bridegroom and more as someone withholding, disappearing at my slightest mistake. I know that’s not who He is, but I can’t shake the image. I want to love God for Himself, not His gifts, but sometimes I want to harden my heart to avoid feeling. Pornography has touched my deep desires in ways God hasn’t. Even when sober, He feels distant, and I can’t find a holy substitute.
2. As a Catholic trying to live purity and modesty, is extended private nudity unadvisable? I know it’s likely not sinful in itself, but it could be a near occasion of sin, especially for unmarried people. As a college-aged man, I’ve struggled with pornography and masturbation, which has led me to feel a certain disdain for my genitals. I wonder if spending more time unclothed in private could help me appreciate my body as God created it, or if it would invite temptation given my past. What about sleeping in the nude—would that be harmless or spiritually risky for me?
3. I believe arousal is a beautiful, God-given reaction when kept pure. But I’ve accidentally reached sexual climax with my boyfriend, and I struggle to know when my body is close. For example, after a gentle goodbye kiss and embrace, I walked away and unexpectedly experienced an orgasm. I knew I was aroused, but didn’t realize it was that strong. I’m deeply in love and attracted to him, but I didn’t know I was that aroused. Is this irresponsibility, or a lack of knowledge of my own body and heart? How should I understand and handle these moments?

Resources:

https://nationalcatholicsingles.com/

Grand Canyon by Jay & Jo




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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠




📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠




⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠




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Submit you question here!




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🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠




📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!




📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.




🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠




If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:

1. After divorcing my husband over his unhealed pornography addiction, my sons now stay with him and his civil wife. I’m seeking guidance on how to protect and mentor them spiritually amid confusing messages from their father.
2. If God made us sexual and romantic in His image, and intimacy reflects the Trinity, why do you say God is not sexual?
3. I struggle to be aroused with my wife without degrading fantasies. I know they’re sinful—how can I overcome them?

Resources:

JPII Legacy Foundation Website

CCC 370

CCC 42

CCC 239

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠

📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.

🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:

1. How does Theology of the Body relate to the apophatic tradition of imageless, silent prayer? If we're meant to go beyond concepts and detach even from meditation, how can a theology so rooted in the body inform contemplative prayer?
2. Though I'm happily married, I still feel haunted by a deep emotional bond with a female friend from my past. Why does this longing persist, and how can I find freedom from it?
3. My husband has been sober from porn for 8 years, but his heart remains closed off. After nearly 39 years of marriage, where can we find the outside help and healing we still need?

Resources:

JPII Legacy Foundation Website

Freedom Coaching

Hope’s Garden

Marriage Missionaries

The Alexander House

Questions answered this episode:

1. I’ve broken free from porn and masturbation since returning to the Church, but now I experience arousal during deep prayer. It distracts and disturbs me—how can I pray through it without shame or confusion?
2. My kids ask: If Mary conceived by the Holy Spirit, did the Spirit become physical—like a sperm? How do I explain this?
3. As a virgin in an art class drawing nude figures, I feel shame, fear, and temptation. How can I see the body with purity and maturity without falling into lust or fantasy?

Resources:

⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠

JPII Legacy Foundation Website

What to Do With Your Sexual Needs YouTube Video

Sexual Needs Into Prayer YouTube Video

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠

📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.

🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:

1. I’m a prosecutor working with men who’ve abused women. I speak to them about porn, objectification, and Love and Responsibility. What else should I say to reach hearts already hardened by violence?
2. My boyfriend isn’t a virgin, but I am. He’s repented, but I still feel sad and conflicted. Am I allowed to grieve what we’ll never share?
3. If marriage helps us grow in holiness, why does Scripture say the unmarried are more focused on God? Did Jesus contradict marriage by calling Peter away from his wife?

Resources:
⁠Event in Rome Link

⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠

⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠
TOBI Event Calendar

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠

📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.

🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:

1. I've been reflecting on how God uses our wounds to reveal His glory. Could our scars remain in our glorified bodies, like Christ's, as signs of His redemptive love?
2. I feel emotionally and spiritually neglected in my marriage. How can I love my wife like Christ when she won't respond?
3. I converted to Catholicism after a painful sexual past and porn addiction. How do I heal and trust God's plan for my future?

Resources:
Event in Rome Link

---

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠

📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.

🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

• Continence in Marriage – Why would some spouses adopt lifelong continence—living as “brother and sister”—instead of periodic abstinence, must both freely agree, and how does it square with openness to children and the call to holiness?

• Infatuation & Healing – After 15 years and five kids, my wife confessed an intense infatuation with a friend. I fear my own lust and past contraceptive choices played a role. How can we heal our marriage and what prayers or litanies can re‑align our desires with God?

• Jeremiah’s Girdle – In Jeremiah 13:11 God likens Israel to a waistband clinging to loins. Is there a deeper Theology‑of‑the‑Body meaning hidden in this striking image beyond the literal prophecy?

Resources: ⁠JPII Legacy Foundation Website⁠
⁠Referenced ACW Episode⁠ ⁠John Paul II Healing Center⁠
⁠John Paul II Healing Center Events⁠
⁠Desert Stream Ministries⁠ ⁠Restore the Glory Podcast⁠ ⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠⁠
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
---
🔥 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠⁠
📕 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⁠
⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠⁠
---
⁠⁠Submit your question here!⁠⁠
---
🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠
📚 View our ⁠⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!
📘 ⁠⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.
🏔️ ⁠⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠⁠
If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

1. I want a husband who only has eyes for me. Am I wrong for feeling hurt and insecure when men—especially married ones—speak lustfully about other women?
2. I love my fiancée, but I feel guilty when my body reacts sexually during affection. Am I letting things go too far, or is this out of my control?
3. My marriage feels one-sided and painful. I feel used in sex and emotionally unseen. Despite trying everything, I’m losing hope—what should I do?

Resources:
COURSE SCHEDULE

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Questions answered this episode:

---

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

⁠Submit your question here!⁠

---

🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠

📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.

🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

1. If spiritual beauty is deeper and more important, does aesthetic beauty still have value? And why do we emphasize it with fashion or makeup?
2. After embracing modesty through TOB, I feel convicted not to wear a revealing bridesmaid dress for a Catholic wedding. How do I honor my conscience without offending my cousin?
3. Sex feels clinical and disconnected while trying to conceive. Am I wrong to want emotional connection even when we’re being practical?

Resources:
TOBI Event Calendar

Love & Responsibility YouTube Series

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

⁠Submit your question here!⁠

---

🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠

📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.

🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠