Authentic Men's Group podcast

Using Self-Compassion With The Enneagram (Part 2) Last time, we explored Enneagram types One through Four—seeing how each carries its own beauty, struggle, and path toward compassion. Today, we pick up where we left off. So often, we hear messages about what we should fix or change. But the real invitation of the Enneagram is to see the truth of how we're wired and to treat that truth with kindness. It's not about boxing you in—it's about showing you the patterns you've been living out, and then inviting you back home to your truest self. As Ian Morgan Cron reminds us, "The Enneagram doesn't tell you who you are; it tells you who you think you have to be." That's the gift—it reveals the mask we've learned to wear, and then it helps us lay it down. In this episode, we're continuing our walk through the remaining Enneagram types, not to critique but to celebrate. To honor. To offer compassion to the parts of ourselves we often overlook. And once again, we're joined by AMG coach and life coach Stephen Nichols, who has guided countless men in this very work. TYPE 5 – THE INVESTIGATOR

• Ian Cron describes Fives as the wise men—those who see the world from a thoughtful distance, cutting through noise with insight.

• You have a brilliant, thoughtful mind that sees what others miss.

• Your ability to observe, analyze, and understand is a deep well of insight.

• You're naturally drawn to complex ideas, systems, and inner landscapes most people overlook.

• Your curiosity runs deep, and your insights are often ahead of their time.

• You bring calm clarity to chaos, offering wisdom without needing the spotlight.

• Though you may prefer solitude, your presence carries quiet weight and depth.

• Self-compassion reminds you that you don't have to have all the answers to belong—your presence, your wisdom, and your way of seeing the world already matter.

Self-compassion for Type 5 sounds like:

• "My curiosity is a gift. I don't need to know everything to be whole."

• "I offer wisdom, and I also deserve connection."

• "It's okay to not have all the answers right now."

• "My presence is enough—I don't need to over-prepare."

• "Opening up is a strength, not a liability."

You make space for insight and truth. Your presence invites calm and clarity.

TYPE 6 – THE LOYALIST

• Your loyalty and courage are unmatched—you stand by your people through thick and thin.

• You think through every angle with care, always scanning for how to keep others safe and supported.

• Your fierce sense of responsibility drives you to prepare, protect, and prevent harm.

• You often see potential problems before they happen, and your questions strengthen decisions and relationships.

• Suzanne Stabile calls Sixes the guardians of community—reliable, grounded, and deeply attuned to group wellbeing.

• You hold steady when others panic, anchoring people with your presence and conviction.

• Your love shows up not in loud declarations, but in quiet vigilance and fierce, faithful commitment.

• When you extend that same loyalty inward, you become a source of wisdom and grounded courage—not just for others, but for yourself.

Self-compassion for Type 6 sounds like:

• "My ability to anticipate is protective, not paranoid."

• "I trust myself to navigate uncertainty."

• "Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but I can handle it."

• "I trust myself to navigate what comes."

• "Courage isn't the absence of fear—it's standing with myself in the fear."

You bring steadiness, humility, and fierce commitment wherever you go.

TYPE 7 – THE ENTHUSIAST

• You see the possibility in everything and bring life to the spaces you enter.

• Your joy is contagious, and your energy lights up the room.

• You're often the one who finds silver linings, who lightens tension with humor, and reminds others to savor life.

• You have a natural gift for storytelling, optimism, and enthusiasm that draws people in and lifts spirits.

• Ian Cron reminds us that Sevens teach us not to take life for granted—but to taste, savor, and adventure.

• Your soul is wired for wonder, and beneath your lightness is a deep, brave heart.

• When you stay present in discomfort, you show true courage—not escape, but engagement.

• Self-compassion deepens your spark. You discover that real freedom comes from living fully—joy and sorrow alike.

Self-compassion for Type 7 sounds like:

• "My zest for life is sacred. I can experience joy and still make space for depth."

• "I don't need to escape. This moment is enough."

• "I can sit with hard feelings—they won't break me."

• "Slowing down helps me find deeper joy."

You remind others that life is worth living fully, and that pain doesn't cancel out joy—it enriches it.

TYPE 8 – THE CHALLENGER

• You are bold, strong, and protective—you step in when others shrink back.

• You fight for what matters and speak truth with intensity and clarity.

• Your presence commands attention—not for ego, but because people feel your deep commitment to what's right.

• You instinctively protect the vulnerable and challenge injustice wherever it appears.

• Suzanne Stabile calls Eights the protectors and justice-bearers—often misunderstood, but driven by love and loyalty.

• Beneath your strength is a tender heart that longs for honesty, trust, and connection.

• When you let yourself soften and be known, your power doesn't weaken—it becomes magnetic, trustworthy, and whole.

• Self-compassion allows your heart to breathe so your strength can serve others without burning you out.

Self-compassion for Type 8 sounds like:

• "My strength includes tenderness."

• "I can lead with power and still stay soft-hearted."

• "Letting others in doesn't make me weak."

• "Real strength includes openness."

• "I can be protective and still allow myself to feel."

You give others courage just by being who you are. You model strength that protects and includes.

TYPE 9 – THE PEACEMAKER

• You have a calming presence that brings ease and steadiness to those around you.

• You instinctively see all sides and create harmony in spaces that feel divided.

• You are a steady presence in a loud, chaotic world—helping others breathe easier just by being near.

• You create room for others without needing the spotlight, offering quiet empathy and deep listening.

• Your non-reactivity and gentleness give others permission to pause, reflect, and reconnect.

• Ian Cron says Nines are the mediators of the soul—deeply attuned to what brings people together.

• Though you may downplay your impact, your quiet strength and inclusive spirit often hold entire communities together.

• Self-compassion invites you to include yourself in the peace you offer others. Your voice matters. Your presence is not just peaceful—it's powerful.

Self-compassion for Type 9 sounds like:

• "My presence brings peace, and my voice matters too."

• "I can honor others and still choose myself."

• "My voice matters."

• "I don't have to disappear to keep the peace."

• "Choosing myself isn't selfish—it's necessary."

You teach us how to slow down, to listen, and to find unity in difference.

CLOSING

No matter where you land on the Enneagram, you bring something good and true into the world. You don't need to change who you are—you need to honor it. Self-compassion is how you do that. It's not about self-indulgence. It's about self-acceptance.

The Enneagram isn't a problem to fix. It's a mirror that shows your natural design—and the gifts you carry. As Stabile reminds us, the goal isn't to be better than your number—it's to be a healthier version of the one you already are.

So take this with you: You are already enough. Not someday. Not when you get it right. Now.

We'll drop a free link to the AMG Assessment in the notes so you can find out your type. Bring what resonated into your next AMG group, or share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

You were made to thrive—and the best way to do that is by being fully, authentically you.

Link to take your Enneagram Assessment: Enneagram Assessment

Using Self-Compassion With The Enneagram

We often hear messages about what we need to fix or change. But what if the real invitation is to see and celebrate the unique way we're wired?

What if our greatest strength is learning how to show up with kindness to the exact story we're living?

The Enneagram isn't about putting you in a box—it's about helping you see the unique beauty of your wiring and how to live it out with grace. Ian Morgan Cron says, "The Enneagram doesn't tell you who you are; it tells you who you think you have to be." And in doing so, it also gently invites you back to your true self. The Enneagram helps us become more present to ourselves and others—not more perfect.

Today, we're walking through all 9 Enneagram types, not to critique, but to honor. To celebrate. To invite a more compassionate relationship with the parts of us we often overlook. And we're joined by AMG coach and life coach Stephen Nichols, who has walked with countless men through this work.

TYPE 1 – THE REFORMER

• You bring a deep sense of integrity and justice to the world.

• You have an inner compass that naturally points to truth, fairness, and doing what's right—even when it's hard.

• Your drive to improve things is powerful and needed, especially in a world that often accepts "good enough."

• You instinctively see how systems, people, and environments could be better—and you work to close the gap.

• Ian Morgan Cron notes that Type 1s often have a clear vision of how things should be—and that clarity is a gift to the world.

• When your idealism is paired with self-compassion, it becomes principled leadership and courageous accountability.

• Your high standards aren't a burden—they're part of the goodness you bring.

• But remember: you're not here to fix everything. You're here to live with integrity, and that begins with how you treat yourself.

Self-compassion for Type 1 sounds like:

• "My desire to do good is a strength. I can lead with grace as well as discipline."

• "I bring structure and clarity, and I'm still worthy even when things aren't perfect."

• "I don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love and respect."

• "I am a good man and still make mistakes.

• "Discipline and grace can coexist within me."

You create order in chaos. And in your presence, others feel safe and steady.

TYPE 2 – THE HELPER

• Your heart is immense—you notice needs others miss and offer love without needing a reason.

• You're the one who shows up when others forget, who remembers birthdays, who brings soup, who notices when someone looks tired or off.

• Your attention is love in action, quietly and powerfully felt.

• As Suzanne Stabile teaches, Type 2s are often the emotional backbone of their communities—offering connection, hospitality, and empathy that binds people together.

• Your strength lies in your ability to feel what others feel and respond with genuine warmth and care.

• When you turn that same compassion toward yourself, you become even more powerful—grounded, resilient, and rooted in love that flows both ways.

• Your worth isn't based on what you give—it's in who you are, even when your hands are empty.

Self-compassion for Type 2 sounds like:

• "My ability to care is a gift, and I'm allowed to receive care too."

• "I am deeply lovable, not for what I do—but for who I am."

• "My needs matter just as much as anyone else's."

• "I am loved for who I am, not just what I do."

• "It's okay to say no and still be a good man."

You bring warmth, connection, and generosity to the spaces you enter. That's real power.

TYPE 3 – THE ACHIEVER

• You carry a fire to move things forward with clarity, confidence, and bold vision.

• You're driven, goal-oriented, and instinctively know how to get things done.

• You have a gift for reading a room, adapting quickly, and casting a vision that rallies people into action.

• You bring direction and momentum to teams, relationships, and projects.

• Ian Cron notes that Threes are the most adaptable and inspiring performers—able to shift and lead with excellence.

• Beneath the drive is a tender, human need to be loved for who you are—not just for what you do.

• When you slow down and reconnect with your deeper self, you find that your worth was never tied to performance.

• Your true strength includes your ability to be authentic, vulnerable, and present—not just polished and productive.

Self-compassion for Type 3 sounds like:

• "My drive is beautiful—and I don't have to earn my worth."

• "I'm valuable, even when I'm resting."

• "Even when I slow down, I'm still enough."

• "I am valuable beyond what I accomplish."

• "Failure doesn't define me—how I treat myself does."

• You inspire others to dream bigger, act bolder, and believe in what's possible.

TYPE 4 – THE INDIVIDUALIST

• You feel the depth and complexity of life in a way most people never touch.

• Your creativity and sensitivity give voice to the human experience in its rawest, most beautiful forms.

• You notice subtle layers of emotion, longing, and beauty that others often overlook or rush past.

• Suzanne Stabile calls Fours the torchbearers of emotional truth—willing to feel what others avoid.

• You remind the world that feeling deeply is not weakness—it's wisdom, strength, and sacred insight.

• Your presence brings permission for others to be real, to feel, and to show up authentically.

• When you practice self-compassion, you become a beacon of honesty, healing, and depth.

• You teach us all that emotional honesty isn't just allowed—it's necessary for true connection.

Self-compassion for Type 4 sounds like:

• "My emotions are not a flaw—they're my superpower."

• "I bring beauty and meaning to the world just by being me."

• "My emotions are valid, and I'm not broken."

• "I can be unique and still connected to others."

• "Pain doesn't isolate me—it unites me with humanity."

You help others feel seen, understood, and reminded that they're not alone in their longing.

CLOSING

No matter where you land on the Enneagram, you bring something good and true into the world. You don't need to change who you are—you need to honor it. Self-compassion is how you do that. It's not about self-indulgence. It's about self-acceptance.

The Enneagram isn't a problem to fix. It's a mirror that shows your natural design—and the gifts you carry. As Stabile reminds us, the goal isn't to be better than your number—it's to be a healthier version of the one you already are.

So take this with you: You are already enough. Not someday. Not when you get it right. Now.

We'll drop a free link to the AMG Assessment in the notes so you can find out your type. Bring what resonated into your next AMG group, or share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

You were made to thrive—and the best way to do that is by being fully, authentically you.

Why Beating Yourself Up Isn't Making You Better

Rewiring the Inner Critic

For most of us men, we were raised on self-esteem, (either resourceful input, or non-resourceful input)

Be confident.

Stand tall.

Don't screw up.

Win at all costs.

That's self-esteem culture. It's about feeling good about yourself when you're doing well — when you're successful, strong, admired, competent, and on your game.

But the second you fall short? That's when self-esteem gets shaky. You feel like less of a man.

This is where self-compassion comes in — and most of us weren't taught this growing up.

What's the Difference? Self-Esteem

Self-esteem says:

"I'm valuable because I'm good at something."

But what happens when you're not good? When you fail? When you screw up as a dad, partner, or professional? You beat yourself up. You think you're weak. You try harder, you push down or numb feelings, you obsess, or you isolate.

Self-Compassion

Self-compassion says:

"Even when I mess up, I still matter."

It's not about lowering your standards or letting yourself off the hook. It's about treating yourself like you would treat a friend. You don't rip him to shreds when he's struggling — you encourage him. You support him. You give him a chance to recover and rise.

Why This Matters for Men

A lot of men stay stuck in silence because they think they have to "man up" through every failure. We're told emotions make us soft. That kindness toward ourselves is weakness. But the truth? Beating ourselves into the ground never made us better — it just made us more disconnected, more numb, and more alone.

Self-compassion isn't soft. It's strength with grace.

It's resilience over shame.

It's authenticity without self-hate.

We often refuse to use self-compassion because we think it's lazy or we will lose motivation if we let ourselves off the hook.

So Which One Should You Build?

Both. But start with self-compassion.

Because when your confidence fails, your self-worth shouldn't.

Confidence is built on success.

Compassion is built for failing.

And you're going to need both.

🔎 What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is how we evaluate our own worth.

It answers the question: "Do I feel like I'm enough?"

High self-esteem = feeling competent, worthy, and capable.

Low self-esteem = feeling like you don't measure up.

🔬 How Self-Esteem Is Created (Backed by Research) 1. Early Childhood Messages

Where it starts: Family, school, and culture

Key research:

– Baumeister (1999) showed that early praise, criticism, and expectations shape our self-worth.

– Kids praised for effort tend to build resilient self-esteem.

– However, Kids praised only for outcomes (e.g., trophies, grades) build fragile self-esteem.

Real-world example (for men):

If your dad only complimented you when you won — not when you worked hard — you learned that performance and winning equals worth. So when you're not winning as an adult (job, money, gym), you may feel like you're failing at life.

2. Social Comparison

Where it grows: Friends, teammates, peers

Key research:

– Festinger's Social Comparison Theory (1954) says we evaluate ourselves by comparing to others.

– If we come out "ahead," self-esteem goes up. If we fall short, it drops.

Example:

In high school, if you were the top athlete or smartest guy, you probably had solid self-esteem. But now as a grown man, if you scroll Instagram and see other men with better bodies, bigger houses, or better careers— it chips away at how you see yourself.

3. Achievement & Competence

Where it's reinforced: Career, hobbies, skills

Key research:

– Maslow and Erikson both emphasized competence (mastery, achieving goals) as crucial to self-esteem.

– Success boosts esteem, but failing and recovering builds it more deeply.

Example:

When you fix something around the house, close a deal, or lead your family through a challenge — you feel more like a man. That earned respect (from self and others) feeds lasting self-esteem.

4. Feedback from Others

Where it's reflected: Partners, mentors, coaches

Key research:

– Coopersmith (1967) found that men who felt loved and respected by authority figures (especially fathers) had higher self-esteem.

– Ongoing feedback — especially constructive — helps refine a healthy self-image. If the people around us are operating from the self-esteem model (and they are) then we will get feedback that encourages focusing on a focus on our self worth from external achievements.

Example:

A coach who told you, "You've got what it takes" or a mentor who challenged you while still believing in you — those messages stick. Same with a partner who has aspirations to be successful in life.

5. Internal Narrative

Where it lives now: Self-talk and core beliefs

Key research:

– Cognitive Behavioral Theory (Beck, 1976) shows that internal thoughts shape emotions and self-worth.

– Men who develop a self-narrative of "I'm not enough" tend to sabotage relationships, success, and growth.

• We crack the whip to hedge against any negative feedback we may receive. If I beat myself up before you do it won't hurt as bad.

• We hold ourselves to high standard to hopefully prove our worth so our self talk becomes harsh ig like a drill sergeant.

• It is important to acknowledge what makes us happy and pursue those things. If we value smarts it will make us happy when we learn. Knowing what makes us happy is important, it's just not meant to be pursued relentlessly. Happiness is a bi-product not the solution.

Example:

If you grew up thinking "I'm only valuable if I provide," then losing a job or struggling financially can feel like a personal failure, not just a setback. Rewriting that story is key to building better self-esteem.

🔁 The Problem with Chasing Self-Esteem Alone

Most men tie self-esteem to external things — status, money, performance, sex, image. But those things aren't stable. When they crash, so does your sense of worth.

That's why self-compassion is critical — it protects your value even when self-esteem takes a hit.

The Pitfalls of Self-Esteem

• Contingency: Neff argues self-esteem is often contingent on success, appearance, or approval.

• Fragility: High self-esteem can crumble when we fail or face criticism.

• Narcissism and comparison: Self-esteem sometimes leads to needing to feel better than others.

• Quote from Neff: "The need to feel superior to others is a sure path to insecurity and isolation."

⚒️ Practical Tools to Build Stronger Self-Esteem

• Set and crush micro-goals – success fuels belief

• Goals are set with motivation, not shame.

• Speak up – voice your thoughts even if it's uncomfortable

• Track your progress, not perfection

• Do hard things on purpose – it builds earned pride

• Watch your inner critic – challenge the story

🧭 What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same care, patience, and respect you'd give a friend or brother — especially when you fall short.

It's not soft.

It's not an excuse.

It's strength under pressure.

While self-esteem says, "I'm valuable because I'm winning,"

self-compassion says, "I am going to give my all and even when I lose, I still matter."

🔬 How Self-Compassion Is Created (Backed by Research) 1. Modeled Nurturing & Emotional Support

Where it starts: Childhood experiences of comfort and love.

Key research:

– Dr. Kristin Neff, pioneer of self-compassion research, shows that kids who experience warmth and emotional attunement are more likely to develop self-kindness.

– Lack of comfort or emotional connection = men grow up thinking harshness = strength.

Example (for men):

If your dad or coach told you to "suck it up" instead of "I get that this hurts," you likely internalized the idea that self-kindness is weakness. As a man, it now feels foreign to give yourself grace.

2. Emotional Literacy & Awareness

Where it grows: Therapy, group work, healthy relationships

Key research:

– Neff's Self-Compassion Scale identifies mindfulness as one core component — noticing pain without ignoring or exaggerating it.

Self-Compassion Assessment Link: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/

– Men who build emotional literacy (naming, feeling, and managing emotions) are more equipped for compassion.

Example:

You screw up at work. Most guys either rage internally or numb out. A self-compassionate man notices the shame, breathes, and says: "Yeah, that sucked. But I'm human. I'll handle it, learn and do better next time."

3. Failure Without Shame

Where it's forged: Struggle, mistakes, setbacks

Key research:

– Neff and Germer (2013) found that men who responded to failures with understanding instead of self-criticism were more resilient, less anxious, and more motivated.

– Self-compassion builds grit — not laziness.

Example:

You get divorced. Old programming says: "You're a failure as a man."

Self-compassion says: "You're hurting. This isn't the end of you — it's a chapter. What do you want to learn from it?"

4. Common Humanity > Isolation

Where it solidifies: Community, shared vulnerability

Key research:

– Self-compassion involves recognizing that you're not the only one struggling.

– Shame says, "I'm broken."

– Compassion says, "I'm human." "Everyone chokes. Everyone doubts. This doesn't make you weak—it makes you human."

• hearing others struggle and you are a good-man (without qualifiers).

Example:

You open up in a men's group about how you're failing as a dad. Instead of hiding in guilt, you hear another guy say, "Me too, man." That moment — right there — is where compassion lives and shame dies.

5. Rewiring Your Inner Voice

Where it lives now: Daily self-talk

Key research:

– CBT + mindfulness studies show that men can rewire their internal dialogue by practicing supportive, realistic thoughts.

– It's not fake positivity — it's choosing respect over ridicule.

Practical Tools and Practices (from Neff's book)

• Self-compassion break: short guided pause during moments of struggle.

• Practice: When we fail, use Neff's self-compassion break:

• "This is a moment of difficulty. What am I feeling right now?"

• "Difficulty is part of the human experience."

• "May I be kind to myself in this moment." "What would I say to a friend right now?"

• Journaling with self-kindness.

• Rewriting self-critical thoughts from a compassionate voice.

• Meditation and mindfulness practices.

• Tie this to performance by reframing failure as feedback—not as evidence of inadequacy.

The "Inner Coach" vs. the "Inner Critic"

• Practice: Write a letter from your inner critic, then rewrite it from your inner coach—firm but kind.

• Peak Performance Relevance: Harsh self-talk increases cortisol and fear of failure; compassionate coaching improves focus and resilience under pressure.

Example:

Old voice: "You idiot. Why can't you get it right?"

Compassionate voice: "That didn't go well — but you've bounced back before. You'll figure this out."

🚨 Why Men Resist Self-Compassion

• We confuse it with weakness

• We were taught to fix, not feel

• We fear losing our edge

• We feel it's self-indulgement

• We think it reduces motivation

• Contrast with Neff's research that shows self-compassion increases motivation, reduces procrastination, and supports long-term well-being.

But studies show the opposite:

Men who practice self-compassion are more motivated, less burned out, and more emotionally available — without losing strength or drive. (Neff, 2011)

⚒️ How to Build Self-Compassion (Practically)

• Name your pain – don't minimize it

• Talk to yourself like a trusted friend

• Allow mistakes without identity collapse

• Write down what you'd say to your younger self

• Practice saying: "This is hard, but I'm not alone"

• Understand that failure is and event, not a person.

The Benefits of Self-Compassion

• Unconditional kindness: Self-compassion isn't dependent on success or worthiness.

• Resilience: It helps us bounce back from failure because we're not attacking ourselves.

• Connection: Recognizing shared human experience instead of feeling alone in our suffering.

Three Elements of Self-Compassion (Neff's Framework)

• Self-kindness vs. self-judgment

• Common humanity vs. isolation

• Mindfulness vs. over-identification - mindful positive affirmations

Zig Ziglar believed in forgiveness and the ability to learn from failure, which aligns with self-compassion's core ideas.

🔁 Self-Esteem vs. Self-Compassion (Side by Side)

Self-Esteem

Self-Compassion

Based on

Success, achievement

Acceptance, resilience

Triggered by

Praise, wins, comparison

Struggle, failure, emotional discomfort

Focus

"How good am I?"

"How can I support myself right now?"

Stability

Fragile (when things go wrong)

Stable (even in failure)

Key message

"I am good because I did well."

"I am worthy even when I fall short."

7 Common Signs You're Feeling Shame as a Man

Most men don't like to look in the mirror—not the one in the bathroom, but the one that shows us what's going on inside.

We're raised with messages like: You can't change the past. Just move on. Don't dwell. And on the surface, that sounds like wisdom. But underneath, it keeps a lot of us from practicing self-reflection… because we're not just afraid of guilt. We're afraid of shame.

See, guilt says, "I did something wrong." Shame says, "There's something wrong with me." One leads to responsibility and growth. The other shuts us down and keeps us stuck.

In today's episode, we're talking about the difference between guilt and shame and the common signs that you maybe struggling with Shame.

If you've ever replayed a moment on loop, avoided someone because of how you felt, or carried the quiet weight of not feeling "good enough," this one's for you.

You can't change the past, but you can own it.

And when you own it, you start to change your future.

So let's dive in!

Shame vs. Guilt (Quick Distinction)

Guilt

Shame

"I did something bad."

"You can do better. Step up."

Can fuel action: apologies, new decisions

Can be a catalyst for growth

"I am bad."

"You are not enough and unworthy"

Anchored in fear, hesitation, self-sabatoge

Stifles momentum and vulnerability

Focuses on behavior

Focuses on identity; our 'being'

Can motivate change

Can lead to hiding or self-loathing

Feeling shame as a man can be hard to recognize because many men are conditioned to suppress or mislabel it. Instead of identifying it as "shame," they might call it stress, anger, weakness, or failure. Here's how to tell if what you're experiencing might actually be shame:

1. You feel like you're "not enough"

   • Thoughts like "I'm a failure," "I'll never measure up," or "I'm not a good man" are rooted in shame.

   • You may feel like you don't deserve love, success, or respect.

Example: You forget your kid's school event and beat yourself up all day, telling yourself, "I'm such a terrible father. I can't get anything right."

1. You isolate yourself

   • You avoid friends, partners, or family because you don't want to be "seen."

   • Shame often makes us hide—physically and emotionally.

Example: A friend invites you to grab dinner after work. You say no—not because you're busy, but because you're feeling low and don't want anyone to see you in that state.

1. You get angry or defensive quickly

   • Instead of saying "I feel embarrassed," shame might trigger you to lash out or shut down.

   • Anger is often a mask for shame.

Example: Your partner says, "I miss talking with you." You snap back, "Well, I'm always working to support this family—what more do you want?" You feel exposed, so you react with anger

1. You obsess over being "strong" or "successful"

   • If your identity is tied to performance, status, or stoicism, failure in those areas can trigger deep shame.

   • You might fear being seen as weak or "less of a man."

Example: You injure your back but refuse to take a break from work or admit pain. Inside, you think, "If I stop, I'm weak. I have to keep pushing no matter what

1. You feel emotionally numb

   • Shame can lead to disconnection from your own feelings. You might say "I don't know what I feel" or feel nothing at all.

   • It's a way to avoid the pain of being judged or exposed.

Example: You receive bad news—your friend is going through a tough time—but you brush it off, saying, "That sucks," and change the subject. You feel disconnected from the impact.

1. You replay past mistakes in your mind

   • If you constantly ruminate on things you regret or cringe at moments from your past, shame is likely involved.

   • You may even punish yourself mentally for those mistakes.

Example: You keep thinking about a breakup from years ago, wondering what you did wrong, convinced you're unlovable. Even though you're in a new relationship, you can't let go

1. You avoid vulnerability or asking for help

   • Shame tells you that needing others is weak.

   • You may think, "I should be able to handle this on my own."

Example: You're overwhelmed with life, but when your brother asks how you're doing, you say, "All good, just busy," even though you're struggling with depression and know you need support

What You Can Do

• Name it: Simply saying "This feels like shame" begins to take its power away.

• Talk to someone safe: A friend, mentor, coach, or therapist can help you process it without judgment.

• Practice Being Kind & Curious with Yourself: See Shame as a way your system is trying to protect you, and then be curious about what it is trying to protect you from.

• Challenge the belief: Ask, "Is it true that I'm not enough?" or "Where did I learn that this makes me unworthy?"

• Confront the shame at the root of the behavior. Radical honesty. Speak the truth. Know that you are good, even with flaws and imperfections.

Using Boundaries in Every Circle of Relationship

Healthy relationships are built on respect, understanding, and trust. At the core of maintaining these elements are boundaries—clear lines we draw to protect our well-being. The Circle of Relationships model by Brian Frizzell offers a helpful visual to identify the depth and nature of our connections. When we combine this with a clear understanding of boundaries and requests, we gain powerful insight into how to handle different types of relationships with clarity and self-respect.

Recap:

• Setting a boundary is knowing, checking, and clearly stating what you need to stay healthy and authentic in a relationship, backed by the action you'll take if that need isn't respected.

• A request is when you ask someone else to change their behavior. They have the right to say yes or no.

• A boundary isn't a request. → A request asks someone else to change. → A boundary is how you will act if they don't.

• Requests can be declined. → Example: "Can you turn off your phone at dinner?" (Request) → "If the phone stays on, I'll step away." (Boundary)

• Boundaries are not about control. → You can't force a behavior from others. → You can control the use of your energy, time, and resources by your response.

• Boundaries protect your ability to be authentic. → When you go beyond your limits, you lose yourself. → Boundaries help you stay grounded in your values.

• They're not walls—they're clarity. → Boundaries invite a healthy connection with you, not distance. → They teach others how to be in a healthy relationship with you.

• Real strength is knowing your limits— the amount of energy, time, and resources we have to give to a person or a situation—and honoring them.

Let's walk through how to use boundaries, not just requests, in each of the seven relationship circles:

1. Source (Inner Self)

This is your relationship with yourself and your relationship to Spirituality or Higher Power—your values, identity, and purpose.

• Boundary: "I will not allow external validation to define my self-worth."

• Here, boundaries are about internal integrity. It's choosing to listen to your own voice rather than external noise.

Other examples:

Boundary: I have set times this week that I will workout and meditate. And I will treat these times as non-negotiables.

Request: I hope I will workout and meditate some this week.

Boundary: when listening to, and reflecting upon, my internal self talk, I will refute negative thoughts and counter them with positive, truthful "I am" statements

Request: I wish I would stop talking to myself like that.

2. Intimate (Spouse/Sexual Partner)

Deepest emotional and physical connection. Vulnerability is at its peak.

• Boundary: "If you speak to me in a demeaning way, I will pause the conversation until respect is restored."

• This is not a request for better behavior; it's a decision about what you will do to maintain dignity in high-intimacy situations.

Other examples:

Boundary:

"If we make plans and you cancel last minute without explanation, I'll choose not to make plans with you for a while."

• Why it's a boundary: It's a consequence you set and control to protect your time and emotional investment.

Request:

"Can you let me know ahead of time if you need to cancel plans?"

• Why it's a request: You're asking for consideration, but it depends on their willingness.

3. Select Few (Close Friends or Siblings)

Trusted emotional bonds without sexuality.

• Boundary: "I won't engage in gossip or conversations that violate someone else's trust."

• With close friends, boundaries protect both your values and the relationship's integrity.

Other examples:

Boundary: I will only share vulnerably with you if you have earned my trust and keep my trust.

Request: please don't share my secrets with others.

4. Few (Friends, Extended Family, Associates)

People we share life events with—weddings, reunions, group activities.

Boundary: "I won't stay in conversations where I feel dismissed or mocked."

• These relationships benefit from boundaries that maintain mutual respect in social contexts.

Other Examples:

Boundary:

"If conversations with you always turn negative, I'll choose to limit how often we talk."

• This boundary protects your mental space.

Request:

"Can we keep our conversation more positive today?"

Boundary: " if the only time you're going to call me is when you need me to do something for you, then I'm going to give you space and stop taking your calls"

Request: " I desire to have more interactive time with you then only when I can be of service to you. Can we connect without having to perform sometime soon?"

5. Mandatory (Work, School, Responsibilities)

Obligatory connections; we don't choose these people.

• Boundary: "I will only answer work messages during work hours."

• These boundaries preserve your time, energy, and prevent burnout. You enforce them, regardless of others' preferences.

Other examples:

Boundary:

"I won't respond to work messages after 6 PM."

• This is a clear, actionable limit on your part.

Request:

"Could you try to send messages during business hours?"

Boundary: "if you continue to converse with me in an unprofessional and disrespectful way, then I will choose to table this conversation until we can return to communicating in a civil and honorable "

Request: "please communicate with me in a positive and professional manner"

6. Peripheral (Adversaries, Codependent Connections)

People kept at emotional distance, often for safety.

• Boundary: "I will not engage in personal topics with this person."

• With emotionally risky people, strong, clear boundaries are crucial. You don't request their respect; you enforce your space.

Other examples:

Boundary: "I won't engage with you one-on-one. I'll only speak in group settings or with a third party present."

• It controls the terms of interaction.

Request: "Can we try to be civil when we see each other?" 7. Temporal (Objects or Coping Mechanisms)

Involvements with things (e.g., drugs, shopping, media) that substitute for relationships.

• Boundary: "I won't turn to alcohol when I'm emotionally overwhelmed."

• This is where self-discipline becomes a boundary—a line drawn between coping and self-destruction.

Other examples:

Boundary: I will show myself grace and seek to understand what need I am looking for when I go to porn or other coping mechanisms.

Request: I will try not to look at porn.

Boundaries vs. Requests: Know the Difference

According to the "Boundaries vs. Requests" guide:

• Boundaries are about you. You control them, enforce them, and live by them.

• Requests depend on others. You can ask, but you must accept their right to say no.

In every ring of the relationship circle, boundaries serve as your protective framework. Requests might supplement your communication, but boundaries define your emotional safety.

Final Thoughts

Not every relationship deserves the same level of access to you. The closer the circle, the more intimacy—and the more important your boundaries become. Respect starts when you commit and flow through with the relationships that matter, not when you wait for others to respect it for you.

Respect yourself first—and the rest will follow.

What the Heck is a Boundary?

• A boundary isn't just a rule—it's a way to identify, communicate, and maintain the environment you need to be the person you want to be.

• Boundaries aren't about controlling other people. They're about controlling your space and how you respond to what happens in it.

🏡 Fence Analogy:

• Think of a boundary like a fence around your house. You've got a walkway up to the front door—that's how you do relationships with me. That's the space I've clearly defined where I invite people into my life.

• Now, let's say someone jumps my fence, walks around to the back, and starts banging on my window—I'm not going to be friendly. That's a boundary violation.

• A boundary is saying, 'If you want to be in my life, here's how you enter. If you break in, don't expect a warm welcome.

Boundaries and requests are not the same thing.

🚧 Boundaries: What You Control

• A boundary is about you. It's about what you will or won't tolerate and how you respond when it's crossed.

• You don't need permission to set a boundary. You enforce it.

Example: "I don't engage in raised-voice discussions. If it gets loud, I step away."

🙋‍♂️ Requests: What You Hope for

• A request is asking someone else to change their behavior. And here's the catch: they can say no.

Example: "Hey, could you lower your voice when we argue?" (That's a request.) "I don't do raised-voice discussions. If it happens, I'll remove myself." (That's a boundary.)

If you keep making the same request and it keeps getting ignored, it's probably time for a boundary.

Men Struggle with Boundaries

• Most men don't set boundaries because they don't want to be 'that guy.' They don't want to seem demanding or make things awkward.

• So instead of setting a boundary, they make requests… and then get mad when those requests are ignored.

How to Actually Set Boundaries:

Setting a boundary that actually works:

1. Identify what you need. ("I need calm discussions.")

2. State the boundary clearly. ("If the conversation turns aggressive, I'll walk away.")

3. Follow through. (Actually walk away.)

The Key Rule: If you don't enforce it, it's not a boundary—it's a suggestion.

Takeaways:

• What's one area of your life where you keep making requests when you really need to set a boundary?

• Think about a time you got frustrated because someone ignored your needs. Did you set a boundary, or were you just making requests?

• At work? In your relationship? With friends? Where do you keep hoping someone will change instead of taking action?

• Boundaries aren't for them. They're for you. They protect your peace, your energy, and your sanity.

Listener Challenge:

• This week, take one ignored request and turn it into a boundary. Follow through, and see what happens.

• Write down one situation where you've been frustrated by someone's behavior. Is it a request or a boundary?
• Take a second. What's one area in your life where you feel drained, disrespected, or frustrated? That's probably where a boundary needs to go.

• Shoot us a message in AMG, share your experience, and let's keep growing together.

Cracking The Coping Code

Do you wish you could quit your unhealthy coping mechanisms or bad habits?

Many of us find ourselves trapped in cycles of behavior that don't serve us well. Whether it's substance abuse, avoidance, negative self-talk, excessive screen time, emotional eating, isolation, procrastination, overworking, or aggression, porn, these coping mechanisms are familiar yet unhelpful tools we often use to self-soothe. It's crucial to remember that resorting to these habits doesn't make us bad people; it's merely our way of attempting to regulate our distressing emotions.

Think of an animal licking its wounds. Initially, it promotes healing, but prolonged licking can worsen the injury. Similarly, our coping mechanisms may provide temporary relief, but they can exacerbate the underlying issues over time.

Understanding the Problem:

Coping mechanisms are often seen as habits to eliminate. We know they're not beneficial, yet we repeatedly return to them, seeking that fleeting sense of relief or numbness. Afterward, the real issue remains, and we wonder why our efforts to change these habits have failed.

Have you ever tried to change your habits through sheer discipline, only to end up feeling guilty and ashamed? For me, discipline became synonymous with these distressing feelings. I've since redefined discipline to simply mean "showing up." It doesn't mean doing the right thing every time but being present and aware.

Even addictions are coping mechanisms that are trying to meet a legitimate need(s) but in an unhealthy way. We need a healthy balance of coping mechanisms and long-term solutions. The problem comes when we trick ourselves into thinking that the coping skills are long-term solutions.

Why Trying Harder Doesn't Work:

Efforts to simply "try harder" often lead us back to the very habits we're trying to escape. This approach isn't sustainable, and it can make us feel worse, driving us back to our unwanted coping mechanisms.

The Unique Solution:

The transformation begins with an "aha!" moment: realizing that coping mechanisms are attempts to recalibrate our mind, body, and soul. When we resort to coping, it's a signal that we're out of alignment with our true, authentic selves. Rather than viewing these mechanisms as enemies, we can approach them with compassion and curiosity. Without them, we might cause more harm to our well-being.

Here's a process to help you address and transform your coping mechanisms:

1. Identify- Name the Habit & Recognize Its Purpose

Instead of just labeling your coping mechanism as "bad," recognize that it serves a purpose. It's trying to meet a need. The first step is to identify the behavior and understand what it's helping you cope with.

Action Step: Write down the top 1-2 coping mechanisms you want to change. Then, answer these questions:

• Where does your brain want you to go when you feel distressing emotions (what coping mechanism do you want to run to?)

• When do I usually engage in this habit? (Time of day, location, situation)

• What triggers it? (Stress, boredom, loneliness, anger, fatigue, etc.)

• What relief does it provide in the moment? (Escape, comfort, numbness, energy boost, etc.)

Key Insight: Your coping mechanism isn't random. It's trying to solve a problem.

2. Reflect- Get Curious About the "Why"

Our coping habits often mask deeper distressing emotions, unmet needs, and potentially neglected wounds. Before you can change a behavior, you need to understand what's really driving it.

Action Step: Journal about these two questions:

1. What thoughts or emotions usually come up before I engage in this habit?

2. What am I actually needing in this moment? (Connection, rest, validation, control, security, self-compassion, etc.)

Example: If you scroll on your phone late at night, is it because you're avoiding stress, craving connection, or struggling with loneliness? The more you understand, the easier it becomes to make lasting change.

3. Pause & Reframe- Shift from Judgment to Curiosity

Before automatically engaging in your usual coping mechanism, pause and ask yourself:

• What emotion am I feeling right now?

• What do I actually need? (Attention? Rest? A break? Reassurance?)

Action Step: Keep a Curiosity Log for 30 days. Each time you catch yourself engaging in your coping mechanism, write down:

• What happened before you did it (the trigger).

• What you were feeling.

• How you felt afterward.

Key Insight: This will reveal patterns and help you see whether your habit is actually serving you or just postponing deeper healing or change that needs to occur.

4. Replace- Choose a Healthier & More Authentic Alternative

Now that you understand what needs your coping habit is trying to meet and you have a kinder and more curious perspective on coping mechanisms, you can evaluate and make sure that your coping mechanisms are more authentic to the person you want to be.

Action Step: Create a "Healthy Coping Menu" with 3-5 alternative strategies that align with your values.

If you cope through avoidance (procrastination, excessive screen time, etc.):

• Alternative: Set a 10-minute timer and just start. Action reduces anxiety.

• Alternative: Break tasks into micro-steps and reward progress.

If you cope through emotional eating:

• Alternative: Pause, take three deep breaths, and check if you're physically hungry or emotionally overwhelmed.

• Alternative: Call a friend, journal, or go for a short walk before making a food choice.

If you cope through isolation:

• Alternative: Set a small social goal (send a text, call one person, or plan a meetup).

• Alternative: Engage in an activity that fosters connection, like a hobby or volunteering.

If you cope through aggression (outbursts, self-criticism, irritability):

• Alternative: Use a physical outlet (exercise, deep breathing, walking).

• Alternative: Write down your thoughts before reacting and ask, "What's the deeper emotion here?"

Key Insight: The key isn't just stopping a habit. It's finding a better, healthier way to meet the same underlying need.

5. Thrive- Shift from Coping to Thriving

Coping skills help you manage stress in the moment, but they aren't long-term solutions. If you find yourself repeatedly relying on coping, it's a sign something deeper needs to change. The real goal isn't just to cope better. It's to create a life where you don't have to cope as much in the first place.

Action Step: Identify, Adjust, and Grow

1. Identify the Root Cause – What's Driving Your Unhealthy Coping?

   • Make a list of the stressors in your life that you find yourself coping with. Be specific; understanding the real problem is the first step toward meaningful change.

2. Make Small but Meaningful Adjustments – What's One Realistic Change?

   • Instead of just managing stress with coping, adjust the conditions that are creating stress in the first place.

3. Maintain Healthy Coping While Implementing Change – Support Yourself Through the Process

   • Instead of simply eliminating an unhealthy coping mechanism, replace it with a coping mechanism that aligns with the person you want to become. Then, allow yourself to use that healthy coping strategy as needed while actively working toward a long-term solution that addresses the need to cope to begin with.

Recap:

We have explored the pervasive nature of unhealthy coping mechanisms and how they often become entrenched habits that offer only temporary relief from underlying issues. These mechanisms, which include substance abuse, avoidance, negative self-talk, and more, are not signs of personal failure but rather attempts to self-soothe and regulate emotions.

The key to transformation lies in shifting our perspective. Instead of viewing these habits as enemies to be eradicated through sheer willpower and discipline, we should approach them with compassion and curiosity. Recognizing that these mechanisms signal a disconnect from our authentic selves allows us to address the root causes of our distress.

Remember:

• Coping is a tool, not a solution. Instead of just managing stress, change the conditions that create it.

• Long-term change comes from small, intentional shifts in how you live, work, and relate to others.

• You don't just want to "cope better," but you want to build a life where you don't have to cope so much in the first place.

• By approaching your coping mechanisms with curiosity and compassion, you'll begin to uncover the real issues and embark on a journey toward healthier habits and emotional alignment.

Resource:

Breaking Old Habits Course

Developing Emotional Autonomy in Relationships

How do we navigate this vulnerability? By building emotional Autonomy. This means taking ownership of your emotions—understanding them, and managing them. It's about knowing yourself and being responsible for your emotional state rather than numbing out or blaming others.

Emotional Autonomy vs. Emotional Immaturity:

• Emotional Immaturity: "You made me feel this way." / "I'm fine" (when it's not true).

• Emotional Autonomy: "I feel this way. It's okay to feel this. I'm going to own this emotion and use my resources to support myself. So I can show up as my best self in all my relationships."

Steps to Emotional Autonomy :

1. Be curious & Non-Judgmental while Identifying body sensations, emotions, and feelings.
2. Communicate and explore these feelings with a trusted support system.
3. Own your emotional well-being—stop blaming others for how you feel.
4. Take proactive steps to work through distressing emotions.

What does it look like to practice emotional autonomy in each circle of relationships?

Circle #1 Relationship: Self

This is where we discover self. It is internal and eternal. It is the basis of creativity and resourcefulness. It is here we discover the purpose and passion of existence. It is where inspiration can be found. It is the spring of self-love, acceptance, value and authenticity.

Circle #2 Relationship: Intimate

This is where we express our deepest self in the deepest way. This is the relationship of closest vulnerability and authenticity. This intimacy will find expression in sexuality. (i.e. spouse, sexual partner)

Circle #3 Relationship: Select Few

This relationship involves individuals to whom there is the deepest bond and devotion. It is a relationship that experiences sincere vulnerability and validity without sexuality. It establishes earnest trust (i.e. close sibling, dearest friends...)

Circle #4 Relationship: Few

These are relationships we do life with. There is association at mutually connected events like reunions, weddings, funerals, interest groups, (i.e. friendships, family, extended family, associates)

Circle #5 Relationship: Mandatory

These are the relationships we do because we have to. They are the associations that revolve around our 'to do' list. There is usually a common purpose or goal for the association. (i.e. Work and necessary commitments)

Circle #6 Relationship: Peripheral

These are people we keep at arms length for one of two reasons: one, these people have hurt us before and would probably do it again given a chance or two, these people need something every time they make contact. These are (i.e. adversaries, acquaintances, codependent relationships, service clubs)

Circle #7 Relationship: Temporal

This is the stuff of life. In this circle are the things that 100 years from now will have no value to us and 10 years from now will not mean as much as they do today. These are the houses, the cars and the toys of life. They also encompass things that we can get comfort from that have the potential to form addictions (food, drugs, alcohol, pornography, …)

Emotional Autonomy is about owning your emotions and managing them in a way that strengthens your relationship with yourself without harming others in the process. It's learning to take responsibility for what you feel and working through those emotions in a healthy, constructive way that respects both your well-being and the well-being of those around you.

Autonomy involves having the freedom and capacity to act according to one's own principles, values, and interests while taking responsibility for the consequences of those actions. In essence, autonomy is about self-determination, self-direction, and the capacity to shape one's own life and decisions with a sense of personal agency and authenticity.

Emotional Autonomy is the practice of understanding your feelings, regulating them, and taking full responsibility for how you respond to them. It's not enough to just "not feel numb"—that's survival mode. Emotional Autonomy means diving into your inner world, understanding what's going on, and learning to navigate your emotions instead of suppressing them or avoiding the discomfort they bring.

It's about stopping the blame game. Too often, we expect others to change so we can feel better: "You made me feel this way." That kind of thinking gives away your power and keeps you stuck. Real growth happens when you own your emotions and choose to work through them, even when it's hard. It means admitting where you might have been wrong and learning how to take responsibility for your emotional well-being.

• Emotional Immaturity:

  • "You made me feel this way."

  • "I don't know why I feel this way."

  • "I'm fine." (When it's not true.)

• Emotional Autonomy :

  • "I was curious about my emotions.

  • I discovered that I feel this way, and that's okay.

  • I'm going to own this emotion and use my resources to support myself through it."

• "What emotions do you often suppress? What's one small step you can take today to acknowledge and own that feeling?"

Balancing Vulnerability and Assertiveness

• "Balancing vulnerability and strength means integrating both. It's not either or it's both and."

• Think about how truly hard it is to share your dark secrets, you know the ones that only you know about yourself. Now imagine telling someone these things. Seems pretty terrifying doesn't it. That's why I say being vulnerable in a safe environment is one of the strongest things we can do.

• Key Points:

• Be aware of your emotions and why they're arising.

• Communicate with clarity, staying assertive but not defensive.

• Build a support network beyond your partner—friends, mentors, groups—to help process emotions and challenges.

• Practical Steps for Emotional Autonomy :

• Step 1: Be Curious and Non-Judgmental: "Identify what's happening in your body. Notice physical sensations, emotions, and reactions."

• Step 2: Communicate and Explore: "Share your emotions with a trusted support system. Don't bottle them up."

• Step 3: Own Your Emotions: "Avoid blaming others. Take responsibility by saying, 'I feel this way,' instead of 'You made me feel this way.'"

• Step 4: Take Action: "Engage in self-care activities and proactive strategies to manage distressing emotions."

The Vulnerability Myth (Part 1)

Let's face it— dating and relationships can be a minefield for men. On one side, we're told to open up, be vulnerable, and share our emotions. But when we do, the response isn't always what we expect. Sometimes, it's met with anger, confusion, or even panic. Other times, it feels like the person across from us wants to jump in and fix our problems as if we can't handle them ourselves. It's a tricky balance.

Here's the truth: being emotionally aware and understanding how to regulate our feelings is critical for men. But vulnerability alone isn't a magic key that unlocks deeper relationships or solves all our problems. In fact, without the right understanding and approach, vulnerability can create more confusion, leaving us and our partners feeling lost.

So, in today's episode, we're diving into what it really means to be vulnerable as a man in today's world—how to find that balance between strength and openness, and why emotional awareness is the foundation for real, healthy connection. We'll bust some myths, share some stories, and give you practical steps to navigate this space with confidence. Let's get into it.

So what is the Vulnerability Myth?

• Reid's Setup of the Vulnerability Myth :

The "Vulnerability Myth" tells us that if men just open up, share their emotions, and show vulnerability to their partner, they'll automatically be seen as good men, and magically, all their problems will disappear. But here's the truth: vulnerability alone isn't a magic wand. It's important, yes—but it's only part of the equation.

When your partner asks you to be more vulnerable, they aren't looking for you to fix every problem in your relationship. What they really want is to know that you're aware of your inner world and that you can manage your emotions in a healthy way. They want to see you not just feeling things but moving through those emotions with intention—whether that's through self-care, leaning on your support system, or simply knowing when to take a step back.

Ultimately, a man who understands what he's feeling and knows how to navigate those emotions with the right tools and a supportive community becomes someone who feels steady and trustworthy—someone who is both safe and desirable as a partner.

As Connor Beaton puts it, "A man who is not aware of his emotional state, denies it, or cannot control his emotions when they arise, is seen as a potential danger, weak, and a threat—not only to himself but to his family, his partner, and women in general."

"Vulnerability, when met with misunderstanding or negativity, can do more harm than good."

"Men often feel encouraged to open up but then face emotional responses from their partners that push them away. It creates a cycle of disconnection."

Reflection: "Have you ever felt pressured to be vulnerable but didn't know how or felt punished when you tried? How have these experiences shaped your view on vulnerability?"

Myths About Vulnerability

• Myth 1: Vulnerability is a Weakness

• "Vulnerability is an act of courage, not weakness. It's about showing up despite uncertainty and risk."

• Myth 2: Men Don't Do Vulnerability

• "Our lives are full of uncertainty and emotional exposure. Leaning into these dynamics is the essence of vulnerability."

• Myth 3: I Can Go It Alone

• "Humans are wired for connection. Belonging is crucial for our mental well-being, and groups like AMG provide that space."

• Myth 4: Trust Comes Before Vulnerability

• "Trust and vulnerability go hand-in-hand. Vulnerability fosters trust when done with intention."

• Myth 5: Vulnerability is Disclosing Everything to Everyone

• "True vulnerability requires discernment. Without boundaries, it becomes manipulation or oversharing." I love this statement by Brene' Brown. If we are sharing vulnerabilities just for the sake of sharing, then maybe we have an ulterior motive.