Have you ever seen someone disciplining a kid? Or maybe you've had to talk to a kid about something? You might have noticed that the moment your tone changes, they're almost always aware of what will follow — treats, rewards, scolding, or even punishment. Kids are incredibly good at picking up on your tone of voice, far better than adults.

But let's go back for a second. What is your tone of voice? Simply put, it's the way you say something. Whether it's an offer or a rejection, a request or a demand, your tone of voice impacts others and yourself more than you can imagine. For example, you could unwittingly criticize your child or your partner if you don't take a moment to check your tone. Sometimes, this could be stress-related, where you're displacing frustrations. Other times, this could be a reflection of how you truly view the other person deep inside. Often, it's not what you say but how you say it that hurts people. 

We often unknowingly employ tone of voice to get what we want. Think about the last time you were charming, sweet, or personable to get something you wanted from an otherwise closed-off person? Or in reverse, when you indicated through an icy or detached tone of voice that you didn't care? Being aware of your tone of voice can help you be more sensitive, more patient, more understanding, softer or stronger in what you're trying to convey. 

Along with tone of voice, Robert discusses the dangers of selectively hearing what you want and projecting your hearings/desires onto someone else. This can either lead people into a state of openness or resistance. Awareness of tone of voice and its impact can prevent hurt, misunderstanding, and other injurious situations. 

Although therapy is a neutral space, Robert shares how his tone of voice has been the best, most direct, and loving way to touch his clients' hearts. At the same time, to prevent countertransference (projection of unresolved conflicts), he has developed an evolving awareness of his tone of voice, while acknowledging areas that he needs to continue to watch. When you take some time to reflect on your chosen tones of voice, you will notice that they are similar to some core essential qualities that can help you through challenging situations. 

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.

Over the last few episodes of Awareness that Heals, Robert and Dave have explored how developing new practices can help us take care of ourselves through both life's biggest challenges and daily moments. These practices are being defined and refined clearly, as it is so important to understand the meaning behind each of them. It is for this reason that this episode illuminates exactly what is meant by certain words that you’ll find below. It is not important that you use these words, but it is vital that you understand their meaning and develop your practices to support your life and for those around you. Robert underscores the need for us to start asking beneficial questions to help ourselves respond from our wisdom more than just reacting to our feelings.

Awareness is split into four stages (awareness of being unaware, fleeting awareness, stable and intellectual awareness, and finally, awareness that heals). It's the first step you take toward healing and caring for yourself. Each of these four stages is elaborated on in the episode.

Friendly mind (which is further clarified in the episode) will give us options as to how to deal with extremely difficult and challenging feelings and situations throughout our lives. Friendly mind helps you come to terms with your feelings and not be against yourself. It's simple in theory, but in practice, it means developing your mind to be accepting and embracing toward your emotions with thoughts that are most wise, truthful and beneficial. 

Inquiry (from the heart) is a specific way of sincere and authentic questioning. Awareness, friendly mind, and inquiry can only work when you are not caught up in judging your feelings. If you self-reject your feelings, you do not allow yourself the chance to accept and face your challenging feelings and use them as invaluable information as to how to take care of yourself. Give yourself the grace to ask how you can help yourself through difficult times. 

Wisdom Guidance is what you will be able to access when you are aware of what you’re feeling, and when you listen to and follow your inquiry. . For example, when you ask yourself, "How can I best take care of myself?" in challenging situations, you guide yourself to be kinder. You move toward qualities, actions, thoughts, and attitudes that help you expand and fulfill your life. 

As you listen to this episode, take a moment to be aware of your feelings, how supportive you are and try to develop acceptance and caring toward them. Ask yourself how you can respond to your feelings to best take care of yourself. In doing so, you accept your feelings and move toward healing and understanding. Feelings are often temporary and circumstantial but allowing yourself to develop inquiry and wisdom guidance into your daily lives will improve your well-being through time and practice.

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.

We all need to set a boundary or two at various points in our lives. But, how do you go about it? Do you communicate your needs and feelings clearly? Or do you throw unsuccessful hints, hoping that the other person quietly picks up on your discomfort and unease? While knowing your boundaries is powerful, setting and then enforcing them clearly and with consideration is a whole different equation. 

In this episode, Robert shares a particularly relatable example of someone who wasn't able to express her needs but then began resenting her loved one for not understanding. All the while, she maintained that she was not sharing her challenges directly because she didn't want to be unkind. Sometimes, when it comes to the people we love, we may let them play fast and loose with our feelings while they avoid our boundaries. We may do this consciously or unconsciously, not knowing how to reinforce our boundaries to protect ourselves or not realizing that we're encouraging their behavior by not putting a stop to it. Instead, learn how to ask yourself questions like, "How can I best take care of myself today?"  Of course it then requires a sincere and contemplative response.  Then, you'll be able to take a step back to evaluate challenging situations without difficult emotions clouding your ability to clearly state what you need and express the limits that need to be considered.

Before reacting defensively, take a moment to gather yourself and go back to your guiding questions. This can also help you lessen or eliminate saying something you'd regret while maximizing the chance to set clear boundaries and maintain a healthy relationship with the person. Try not to judge yourself or be too harsh as you figure out your feelings and needs because you're making your best efforts, no matter your level of awareness or development. That's what's important. 

Tapping into your wisdom guidance at this time will help you gain insight into your reactions and also help you see vulnerable feelings underneath — hurt, fear, or pain. This awareness helps keep you grounded and enables you to move toward healing and happiness after you pinpoint what you need from yourself and express it to the person in front of you.

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.

One of the main aspects of Inquiry, or the act of asking beneficial questions to take care of yourself, is to do it without judgment. Asking precise guiding questions is how you can take care of yourself, despite your feelings. In this episode of Awareness that Heals, Robert Strock takes us through a few moments of his life. He shares how his own Inquiry and the subsequent guidance he continues to develop has helped him empathize more strongly with people around him, including his podcast co-host and partner at the Global Bridge Foundation, Dave, through some recent emotional events. 

Awareness of challenging personal emotions is the first step to learning how to deal with them. It is important to note that being kind and empathetic to yourself is central to guiding yourself with a difficult feeling no matter where you're starting from. It is essential to hear and support yourself through greater tolerance and acceptance. But the idea is to be kinder toward yourself even in difficult moments when you have no clarity or understanding. 

Once you develop the intrinsic motivation to understand your feelings and introspect to take care of yourself better, you will be more in tune with your mind and emotions. Realizing what you're feeling and putting a name to your emotions is one of the first steps to developing wisdom guidance. Wisdom guidance and intrinsic motivation to take care of yourself and those around you are what will help you expand your quality of life, allowing you to live with greater fulfillment and naturally support those around you.

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.

Every year, most of us make new resolutions and set new goals to achieve. We're constantly encouraged to strive for external success markers and status symbols. All things that can significantly impact how we live. But what about maximizing your quality of life? From previous episodes, we know the answer to this is — learning how to ask beneficial questions — inquiry. 

Inquiry is when you begin asking yourself questions such as, "How can I take care of myself today?" Learning how to ask guiding questions can help you identify your most challenging emotions and feelings and help you move toward greater wisdom.

Think back to when you were a kid — asking questions was a natural part of your life. As you grew older, you were probably not supported to keep asking those questions. But finding this inquisitive nature within yourself again can lead you to your best self and help you live your best life. In case you need a refresher, Robert Strock takes you through the four stages of awareness:

Awareness that you're unaware: Although this might sound paradoxical, realizing that you're not fully aware of what's going on inside your mind and heart can give you the incentive to open your eyes to your feelings and emotions. This requires humility and honesty. 

Fleeting awareness: This is when you spontaneously gain moments of awareness about your feelings and your behavior, tiny nuggets of insights into yourself that aren't sustained (yet).

Stable, intellectual awareness: At this stage, you're more in tune with what you feel and can also understand what others are going through in an intellectual way.

Awareness that heals: This is when you can combine awareness with the motivation and intent to care and heal. In other words, you're able to find and use your inquiry and wisdom to help yourself. 

It can be challenging to turn inwards when society pushes us towards external validation. In this episode, Robert and Dave offer guidance on sharing your awareness and insight with others. Ensuring the timing is correct and that the other person is receptive to your suggestions is of utmost importance. Otherwise, what may be a genuine heartfelt wish may well be taken as an unkind and unwelcome judgment.

This journey toward your awareness, wisdom, guidance, and healing is not easy nor straightforward. You may come across parts of yourself you didn't even know existed, and you may not like all of them. But challenging as it may be, when you start to care for these parts of yourself, you also get better at caring for others and the rest of the world.

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.

When you first start engaging with sincere questioning, it can be challenging to remember what it's all for and find the motivation to keep going. After all, as Robert and Dave discuss in this episode, being aware of your feelings, thoughts, and emotions and actively engaging with them to become better is not something we're taught. In fact, it's almost counter-cultural. So then, why is it vital that we cultivate the art of asking questions? 

Integrating inquiry into our daily lives helps us access our wisdom guidance. This happens when we take the time and energy to ask questions from our hearts and make an honest attempt to respond to the guidance we receive. Awareness about our challenging feelings and emotions coupled with an intention to heal propels us towards wisdom guidance, and the questions we ask to support ourselves aid us in this quest. 

The root of sincere questioning lies in self-compassion. It isn't easy to care for yourself if the questions are intertwined with self-rejection or moralistic judgments. One of the ways to truly tap into your wisdom guidance and move forward with clarity and honesty is to start to really enjoy asking questions. This makes asking questions natural, and you are motivated to work towards being your best self. Once again, you may not get all the answers when you ask questions, and that is okay. It's asking questions with the clear intention to support yourself that's most important. When you are sincere about asking questions, you will become more capable of listening and responding to your wisdom guidance.

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.

It’s always a great idea to ask how to help. Whether the person you’re asking is yourself or a loved one, asking shows your awareness that there’s a need. The art of asking questions can improve and expand our quality of life — inquiry is one of the best and clearest ways to find and shape your best self. 

Today, as you listen to this episode, take a moment to ask yourself — “What is the challenging emotion that’s most frequent in my life?”

Inquiry only works when the questions aren’t veiled judgment toward yourself or self-rejection. If you’re worried about taking the first step, know that almost everyone who is motivated is also just learning how to be an active questioner. Those who have developed this capability more are still evolving. It takes practice, repetition, and commitment to ask questions aimed at taking care of both the mind and the heart. 

In this episode, Robert and Dave also explore how sincere questioning can help you deal with conflict with others. Pausing to ask questions makes you less reflexive and reactive. Instead, you remember to prioritize well-being. Being aware of your feelings helps you take a moment to check your tone, to increase the chances of you articulating your needs in a non-judgemental way. 

But when everyone at the table doesn’t share the same interest in taking care of others, what can you do? How can you continue to care for yourself and others when you realize that? Here, Robert takes a moment to express the importance of setting boundaries — something you can do when you’re aware of how you feel and what you need to do to support yourself and those you care about.

Sincere, honest, and open questioning will guide you to embrace the least-developed essential qualities of your life. This will help you to expand your quality of life and keep you from repeatedly dealing with the same issues or difficulties over and over again in the same way.

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.

Sometimes, moments of strife can feel like you're drowning underwater. Unable to call for help, not sure if anyone, including yourself, can hear you. Learning how to ask questions that can help you support yourself is like equipping yourself with an oxygen tank. You're not out of the water yet, but you're able to breathe a little better. 

The art of sincere questioning is an experience of love. It's being able to take a breather in those difficult moments, pause, and ask yourself — how can I best take care of myself through this? 

Awareness of your challenging emotions and situations is a critical aspect of learning how to ask questions that will lead you to guidance. Knowing what you feel, being honest about it, and committing to taking care of yourself to support yourself with those feelings is a big step of conscious awareness. This helps you connect better — with the situation, people, and, most importantly, yourself. As Robert Strock puts it, this awareness can "slow down the ongoing stuckness" in those feelings. 

Why ask guiding questions at all, you may think. It's so you know what you'll need to get through this specific situation. Do you need physical support? To feel the presence of another? Do you need emotional or heart support? Inquiry or asking questions doesn't mean that you'll get answers. Sometimes you may just know that you need something, but instead of being frustrated at yourself or others for not having all the answers, you will be able to care for yourself through this moment of confusion. When you practice asking guiding questions, whether to take care of yourself and/or your loved ones, the sincerity of asking is just as potent as any answer you may or may not receive. 

Asking questions to take care of yourself can be an everyday thing too. It's at the nexus of traditional psychology and spirituality. It can help you reach the full potential of your capabilities at work, improve relationships, and help you become the best version of yourself.

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.

When it comes to forging your best self, inquiry and wisdom guidance are two key facilitators. Inquiry is sincere questioning that sparks awareness with simple suggestions of support and direction. Wisdom guidance involves giving yourself and others the space to think, act, and develop qualities that are most beneficial without carrying any judgment. It's present inside us all—but can you access your wisdom? 

Robert Strock takes listeners through what it means to communicate with wisdom guidance. It's asking for help and offering support through clarity in your words, actions, and essential qualities. It's taking time to practice becoming aware of and asking for what you need, over and over again. It's also mastering your tone to express yourself clearly and with sensitivity. In moments where you're stuck, wisdom guidance helps you embrace yourself, others, and the situation you're engaged with, even if you cannot get beyond your feelings right away. 

Transparency and honesty are critical to help you access your wisdom guidance and deepen your understanding of yourself and those around you. Tapping into your wisdom guidance isn't going to be immediately natural but if you consistently review and learn from your experiences, you will expand your ability to be more caring and live a more fulfilling life.

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.

Host Robert Strock begins by acknowledging that many of us reach a point where we realize that life is not as fulfilling, enjoyable, or satisfying as we had hoped or imagined. We all have patterns of behavior and thinking that we were taught early in our lives. Almost all of us have patterns that prevent the peace and happiness we desire. Strock asks listeners to identify a pattern or patterns that may be reversed to develop a deeper sense of wellbeing. The more honest and aware of our patterns we are and we become, the greater the likelihood that we’ll be able to lessen or eliminate the harm they cause. Little changes in our daily lives can make big differences if we are open to inquiring and listening and responding to our own needs and wisdom.

Read the transcription and listen to this episode at Awareness That Heals.