Babes and Bad Decisions

We’ve waited a long time for this — it’s our anniversary! This week we’re reminiscing on the beginnings of the podcast, and we’re not talking about 2020… In 2019, we talked about starting this podcast and actually recorded three (and a half) episodes that we’ve never released! These special episodes will probably never be released in their entirety (for a couple reasons), but we’re listening to never-before-heard clips from the first ever Babes and Bad Decisions episode! You’ll hear our original theme song, our old game order, and the very first outro we ever did! Some things never change, but at least our sound quality is a whole lot better! All this and more (for hopefully many years to come) on Babes and Bad Decisions!

TW: Sexual assault, rape, murder, and MEN

We start out this week on a light note, revisiting Charlotte’s elementary school trauma, Emily’s birth control updates, and the time Elaina almost died on a rollercoaster. But then strap in for another good old fashioned Emily rant! Karma may be a woman, but God is a man. Otherwise, why would men be the way they are? The Babes discuss cringy texts, men’s unearned confidence, and casual workplace sexism. After that, warning: this episode gets heavy. This week, we discuss the death of Sarah Everard and the resulting “Not All Men” movement. To our male listeners - if you say you are an ally to women, here are ways to be better and do better, because in reality, is IS all men. Protect your female friends and call out your male friends. Stay safe, we love you. 

Hey we’re boys, we make bad decisions, and we’re here to tell you about them! Oh wait, is that not how it goes?

APRIL FOOLS! We let Charlotte’s boys have control of the podcast this week and we’re still not sure it was a good idea. First we have Alex, a simple man with some cuckold dreams and a dirty past involving an iPad, his grandma, and a bathtub. Next is Anthony, a real life Nick Miller but worse. And finally, David, a man with no shame about what he does on the family printer. We get the boys’ perspectives on some very important topics like the Disney to furry pipeline, unprotected sex, and Mormon soaking. We also get into the best and worst things to do on a date and our most shameful porn experiences. And we promise you, you’ve never heard so many variations of the word “c*nt” used on this podcast. Finally, the boys ask us the questions they’ve always wanted to know, and we learn how sex REALLY feels for men. You’re not going to want to miss the end of this episode - they hold NOTHING back.

All this and more on Babes, (the Boys,) and Bad Decisions!

This has been a weird week for the babes, but that means bonus content for you! Here are some clips that we loved but didn’t make the cut, including a classic moment we reference a lot but never actually aired. We’ll be back next week with another episode, but until then — enjoy!

Episode 17 - Charlotte’s Burp

Emily's having stomach issues and Charlotte, ever so professional, knows just how to rub it in.

Episode 41 - “I Beat Up Baby Daddies"

Emily's back on Bumble and has found a GEM of a man (who is NOT a tiny rat chef). 

Episode 41 - Convince Me

Emily has a Bumble date and needs a little convincing, which leads to another classic long-winded Emily rant. Elaina and Charlotte have their opinions, but what do you think? Should she go?

Episode 42 - Charlotte’s Hot Customer

Charlotte has yet another hot man story time, which leads to a more in-depth look at Charlotte’s sex life, weird relationship analogies, and (of course) mispronounced words.

Episode 43 - Why am I Looking at Your Vagina?

Charlotte is in the middle of a story time when Emily shocks her with a new camera angle. (Cue Emily wheezing.)

This episode starts with more updates from Emily on how men continue to disappoint us, but what else is new? Elaina drops a truth bomb early on, and then we reminisce about cringey voicemails and feet-stuff. After all that fun stuff, we get into how to reprogram your brain when talking to people you deem to be more attractive. First things first, we think you’re incredibly hot and if you ever need a boost hit us up! Second, you have nothing to lose! (And if you’re Charlotte you have nothing, period.) Society’s version of attractive is not always everyone’s taste, and you’re just as hot and desirable as anyone else. All of our ancestors got laid, and so can you! We discuss the differences in cocky vs. confident people and how to fake it till you make it. One can get you laid and the other can get you blacklisted. Plus, if you’re genuinely enjoying yourself and treating yourself as the main character, you’ll have a better time anyway! Remember: it’s not about being hotter than other people, it’s about being the hottest version of yourself. So wear what YOU want, embrace your imperfections, and maybe you’ll meet Matthew Gray Gubler! All this and more on Babes and Bad Decisions!   

Watch out! It’s the return of Emily’s elder man and the Babes’ drunken escapades. Charlotte proves that she can go harder than her moms, and they wouldn’t want it any other way. Emily now has a thing for men with their life together, but the only ones she can find are over 30. Then Charlotte shares some second date update disasters and we teach you a new way to get out of a first date. Emily spills the tea on all Nashville men and has a run-in with one who is wayyyyy too forward. Question: if a man says you could hook up and he wouldn’t tell anyone, is that a good or a bad thing? What we do know is that if a man insists that he won’t tell anyone, that probably means he’s going to tell everyone. Plus, we reiterate that men are terrible at hints, so you have to be direct. Example: the friendzone! Men are unidirectional creatures, but is there ever a good way to friendzone one? It’s a pretty heterosexual practice, but friendzoning has different meanings based on your gender. The Babes discuss how socialization impacts the way each gender views the components of friendship, and how that can be misconstrued. But at its core, being butt hurt about being friendzoned is really just being upset about being rejected, and if you only respect women because you want to sleep with them then it’s NOT REALLY RESPECT. Also, if you only stick around in a friendship for the CHANCE to sleep with them, then you’re in it for the wrong reasons and you need to move on. Plus, the Babes explore the different “zones” and disprove the lie that there is less drama with guy friends (but then disprove ourselves with this podcast). Men LOVE gossip - even Gossip Girl was a man! (Spoiler alert!) And there are other perks to having guy friends, especially those secure enough to compliment you. But when it comes down to it, each Babes has a different strategy for friendzoning men. Charlotte says “DENY, DENY, DENY” while Elaina likes to lead men on and walk the line but keep them at such a distance that they know they never really have a chance. Emily’s still figuring it out, but maybe she’ll come up with a good strategy one of these days! All this and more on Babes and Bad Decisions!

Another episode, another week of Emily updates. First, Facebook called her single, but would you join Finder? (Fumble? Finge? Sorry, we’re still workshopping the name.) After that, Emily had an interesting night involving Chuy’s, a fist bump, and a man that exceeds her normal age range. This episode is also the final straw - Emily and Charlotte are now officially no longer friends, just coworkers. Don’t worry though, they are definitely still going to be in each other’s weddings and get each other wrecked at their bachelorette months. And after all that, Emily has a surprise for Charlotte and Elaina! This week she got all their friends and family to fill out a poll based on the Babes habits - and the moms had some very dramatic responses to this request. Cults, sugar daddies, meeting the parents, and more! Some of Elaina’s responses are just too accurate (once a horse girl, always a horse girl) and the Babes discuss all the ways we’d commit murder* (*for legal purposes this is a JOKE). Finally, we end with some less-than-sexy names, un-fun facts, and the worst outfits we’ve ever worn. All this and more on Babes and Bad Decisions!

Hello and welcome back to another episode of “watch more porn” featuring Elaina and her side effects! This week we’re talking about all the ways to butter your mentality (and no, that’s not a typo)! This year is the year of self love, self care, and money. Going into 2021, it’s important to know who you are as a person — even if that person is a piece of sh*t. The Babes discuss the realness of Imposter Syndrome, our future dream home, and how to trick yourself into loving yourself. Do you suffer from anxiety or insecurities? Well the best way to get rid of both of those things is to just not think! Boom, fixed! Thanks Charlotte. But really, it’s all about learning to validate yourself from within and becoming your own soulmate. You can make yourself feel more validated and loved than anyone else can, so treat yourself like the main character! Also, follow us into some never-before-seen (or heard?) behind the scenes technical difficulties that lead to way to many meat jokes (sponsor us, A1!). Plus, it’s the return of New York Boy and the Doorknob! All this and more on Babes and Bad Decisions.