What does it really means to give yourself permission to be a messy b*tch—especially in the places where it feels hardest. 

Sparked by Eva being back in Taiwan with her family, this conversation explores what happens when all your tools fly out the window, ten years of therapy evaporate at the front door, and you’re left face-to-face with old patterns, big feelings, and the relentless voice that says you should know better by now.

This episode is for anyone heading into family gatherings, relational landmines, or inner winters where things feel messy or unresolved and are looking to experiment with a different approach: letting yourself be imperfect, uncontained, and human.

What we cover in this episode:

✨ Giving yourself permission to be a “messy b*tch” without bypassing responsibility 
🧠 The shame spiral of “I should know better” and why it’s so common in spiritual and personal development spaces
🏠 What happens to your nervous system when you’re back with family—and why your tools might temporarily disappear 
🧩 How perfectionism often forms as protection against shame 
🌀 The myth of a “perfect self” and the exhaustion of endless self-improvement 
⚖️ Accountability vs. punishment: why guilt doesn’t actually help us change "
💔 The subtle ways we weaponize spiritual insights against ourselves 
🔓 Releasing self-policing and noticing how inner violence fuels outer conflict 
🌱 Why compassion creates more real change than criticism ever could 
🕊️ Exploring innocence—not just in others, but in yourself 
🔥 The fear and grief that arise when old identities start to dissolve 
🤍 Touching unconditional love and why it can feel unfamiliar, fleeting, or even scary 



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