What does it all mean & spiritual awakening. Kyley has a drug free psychedelic trip. She trips on “mushrooms”—without taking any drugs Eva and Kyley dissect what the hell happened 

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In this deeply personal and vulnerable conversation, Eva is pulling back the curtain on her relationship with her partner, Tom, an incredibly special and unique human by all accounts.  He’s also the man she once had on a spiritual pedestal, who also happens to be 26 years older than her, a wildly private human. In other words… not your average “how we met” story.

In this conversation with Kyley, Eva spill’s on all the odd and beautiful circumstances that come with their love — from navigating projections (“isn’t that the cliché of the teacher dating the student?”) to dismantling conditioning about what’s “right,” to learning how to actually let ourselves be loved without condition.

It’s juicy, hilarious, and rooted in something much bigger than just romance: it’s about self-love, joy, and trusting life enough to let the good all the way in.

The meet-cute that took seven years — from a Costa Rica retreat crush to living together in a surf shack in Brazil

Love without conditions: how it feels to be in a partnership where both people are exploring whether there’s any limit to love or joy.

Pedestals are prisons: how putting someone “above” you is unkind to them and to yourself, and what happens when you smash the hierarchy.

Self-love as subtraction, not addition: letting go of self-condemnation, judgment, and the “I” story so Source can pour in.

Being willing to be disliked — and why your joy might be the medicine that irritates someone right into their own healing.

Living under the influence of good: the simple but terrifying practice of trusting life right now, in this moment.

This episode is an honest look at difficult relationships in all their paradoxical glory. It will touch anyone navigating complex family dynamics, caregiving, inner conflict, or the slow, radical return to self.

Eva opens up about the intense push-pull dynamic with her mother—someone who is mentally ill, disabled, and fiercely challenging, yet also one of the people she loves most in the world. From the tropical beauty of Brazil to the ancestral weight of being back in Taiwan, Eva unpacks the spiritual and emotional reckoning of caretaking, resentment, cultural expectations, mortality, and what love actually asks of us.

Kyley, ever the sorting hat of spiritual insight, helps organize the messy candy pile of emotion. Together, they navigate:

- How resentment isn’t your enemy, but your flashlight
- The difference between love with a story vs. love without one
- What it means to love yourself and someone else without abandoning either
- How sacrifice can either be sovereign or soul-squelching
- The unbearable tension between caregiving and freedom
- Why boundaries can sometimes become cold walls
- The danger of spiritual bypassing through over-intellectualizing pain
- The terrifying (and freeing) question: What if their life isn’t your responsibility?
“My needs are generous”—the new mantra for every recovering codependent 

By the end, Eva has a mic-drop moment of realization:  What if real love—capital L Love—is loving yourself without a story?

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One of Eva's favorite conversations from last year! We sat down with Diana Harper—relational astrologer, poet of the cosmos, and philosophical firestarter—to explore a radically different take on healing, belonging, and what it means to be in true relationship.

This isn’t a conversation about “doing the work” in isolation. It’s a remembrance of your interconnectedness with everything: your ancestors (yes, even the weird ones), your neighborhood spiders, the trees on your block, the grief in your belly, the granite boulders in your backyard.

We explore:

Diana’s definition of healing as “increasing the capacity to be in relationship”

The grief and rage of being severed from Indigeneity—and how that rupture underpins modern disconnection

The deep wisdom encoded in cities, sidewalks, vegetables, and purple carrot soup

How creature comforts like herbal tea can reveal our tenderest fears about worthiness and comfort

The devastating illusion of separateness—and how spiritual belonging doesn’t mean sameness

This episode will leave you soft, wrecked, held, inspired, and maybe a little furious at the Stanley Cup industrial complex.

Whether you’re crying in a grocery store parking lot at sunset or whispering thank-you to your morning tea (or giant granite boulder in your backyard), Diana reminds us: you are in relationship. You belong. You’ve always belonged.

Diana - 
ddamascenaa.com
patreon.com/ddamascenaa
instagram.com/ddamascenaa

This week, we’re bringing you a deeply real, wildly tender conversation with Ned Buskirk — founder of You’re Going to Die — an artist, grief guide, and all-around wise soul who is not afraid to look directly into the darkness… and still choose love.

Together we dive into:

How grief work can be healing — but also a sneaky trap for self-worth

The quiet ways life tries to harden us, and how to stay (or become) soft

Parenthood as a portal to awe, heartbreak, and presence

What it means to dissolve the ego and disappear into connection

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the weight of this world — or confused about why you’re drawn to the darkness in the first place — this conversation will feel like a warm, unflinching hand on your shoulder.

Ned Buskirk is the Founder, Podcast Host, Facilitator, and Executive Director for You’re Going to Die [YG2D] – a 501(c)3 nonprofit bringing diverse communities creatively into the conversation of death and dying, inspiring life by unabashedly sourcing our shared mortality.

www.yg2d.com
https://www.instagram.com/yergoing2die/
https://www.facebook.com/yergoingtodie/
https://twitter.com/yergoing2die

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Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell

Kyley's free mini-course

In this very special episode, we sit down with Eva’s personal mentor of two years, Amma Thanasanti. Formerly living as a fully ordained Buddhist nun for 28 years, today Amma guides others in the path of embodied awakening—bringing together deep meditation, nervous system repair, and attachment healing to help people feel truly safe, seen, and at home in themselves.

Through Amma’s stories—including an unbelievable near-death encounter with a bear—this conversation explores the ways early attachment wounds shape our nervous systems, how safety can be reclaimed through somatic practices, and how reimagining our origin stories can transform not only our minds, but our physiology.

This episode is less of an intellectual download and more of a transmission. If you’ve ever longed for deep connection, struggled with overwhelm, or felt like your nervous system was living in a permanent state of hypervigilance—this one is for you.

• What real safety feels like in the body—and why many of us have never actually experienced it
• How Amma re-imagined her origin story through “belly bonding” ceremonies with the Earth
• The role of the pelvic floor in nervous system regulation, trauma, and embodiment
• The three-pillar framework for attachment repair, developed by Dr. Dan Brown and David Elliott
• The difference between telling yourself you’re safe and actually feeling it somatically
• The subtle but profound impact of living with an insecure attachment style
• Why some people retreat from relationships—not because they don’t want connection, but because their system is stuck in overprotection

Two years ago, Eva packed up her life in Portland, left a breakup in the rearview mirror, and hit the open road to start over in Austin, Texas… solo. What followed was an epic road trip, equal parts grief, healing, awe, and badassery. In this reissued episode, Eva shares the behind-the-scenes of that transitional season—one where everything was falling apart, and somehow also coming together better than she ever could’ve planned.

It’s summer. People are road-tripping. Maybe you’re also in a season of upheaval. Maybe you're grieving, starting over, or wondering if it's possible for life to get better than you imagined. Spoiler alert: it is.

This episode is your message from the future: you’re gonna be okay. Actually? Better than okay.

What we cover in this episode:

• 😭 The messy, nonlinear reality of grief (and how Eva tried to "do it well")
• 💔 Rage, sadness, and the surprise healing that comes from visiting an ex
• 🧼 The difference between surviving grief vs. trying to control it
• 🐍 Lessons from nature, the desert, and the wide open sky
• 🔥 The secret catharsis of screaming and throwing rocks into water (yes, really)
• 🌈 The beauty of trusting the in-between and letting arrival be just another beginning
• 💡Why it's okay to romanticize a new life—and why it's also okay when it turns out to be messy AF
• 💃🏼 The importance of place: finding the kind of land that makes you feel alive
• 🤝 Friendship as medicine and why it's absolutely possible to make real friends as an adult

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Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell

Kyley's free 2 Day Money Magic Workshop 

What does it mean to hold the unbearable complexities of the world without shutting down or lashing out? 

In this rich, heartfelt conversation, Eva and Kyley sit down with Ellen Wong, entheogenic death companion and host of the Mum podcast, to explore how we can stay present with grief, righteous anger, and the impossible paradoxes of life.

Together, we grapple with questions like:

• How do we show up when the world is on fire?
• How do we stay human when social media, activism, and politics feel polarized and violent?
• Is it possible to hold both fierce anger and deep compassion without collapsing into binaries?

Ellen shares her profound perspective as a death doula, inviting us to develop an intimate relationship with death—not just at the end of life, but in the countless transitions, identity shifts, and ego deaths we encounter along the way. The conversation weaves through themes of grief, cancel culture, safety, attachment, social justice, ancestral wounds, and the liberating power of surrender.

💥 Expect tears, belly laughs, and a radically honest look at what it means to be alive in these times

Ellen - 
https://tripwithellen.com/
https://www.instagram.com/tripwithellen/
https://www.instagram.com/mumthepod/

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao

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Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell

Kyley's free 2 Day Money Magic Workshop 

This episode got meaty & esoteric fast. We wound up discussing free will and the grace of choicelessness with the brilliant and wise Victoria Jane.

https://victoriajane.co/,
https://www.instagram.com/victoriajane.hd/

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Pocket Mentor(Friend)ship- Eva's Newest Offering!

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This show is brought to you by our inner teenagers.  With surprise and delight, we wound up reminiscing about the 90s, reveling in fashion-as-play and power, and generally invited our inner teen selves to run the show this week.

Kelly - 
Instagram.com/kellymahalak


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Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell