In this very special episode, we sit down with Eva’s personal mentor of two years, Amma Thanasanti. Formerly living as a fully ordained Buddhist nun for 28 years, today Amma guides others in the path of embodied awakening—bringing together deep meditation, nervous system repair, and attachment healing to help people feel truly safe, seen, and at home in themselves.

Through Amma’s stories—including an unbelievable near-death encounter with a bear—this conversation explores the ways early attachment wounds shape our nervous systems, how safety can be reclaimed through somatic practices, and how reimagining our origin stories can transform not only our minds, but our physiology.

This episode is less of an intellectual download and more of a transmission. If you’ve ever longed for deep connection, struggled with overwhelm, or felt like your nervous system was living in a permanent state of hypervigilance—this one is for you.

• What real safety feels like in the body—and why many of us have never actually experienced it
• How Amma re-imagined her origin story through “belly bonding” ceremonies with the Earth
• The role of the pelvic floor in nervous system regulation, trauma, and embodiment
• The three-pillar framework for attachment repair, developed by Dr. Dan Brown and David Elliott
• The difference between telling yourself you’re safe and actually feeling it somatically
• The subtle but profound impact of living with an insecure attachment style
• Why some people retreat from relationships—not because they don’t want connection, but because their system is stuck in overprotection

Two years ago, Eva packed up her life in Portland, left a breakup in the rearview mirror, and hit the open road to start over in Austin, Texas… solo. What followed was an epic road trip, equal parts grief, healing, awe, and badassery. In this reissued episode, Eva shares the behind-the-scenes of that transitional season—one where everything was falling apart, and somehow also coming together better than she ever could’ve planned.

It’s summer. People are road-tripping. Maybe you’re also in a season of upheaval. Maybe you're grieving, starting over, or wondering if it's possible for life to get better than you imagined. Spoiler alert: it is.

This episode is your message from the future: you’re gonna be okay. Actually? Better than okay.

What we cover in this episode:

• 😭 The messy, nonlinear reality of grief (and how Eva tried to "do it well")
• 💔 Rage, sadness, and the surprise healing that comes from visiting an ex
• 🧼 The difference between surviving grief vs. trying to control it
• 🐍 Lessons from nature, the desert, and the wide open sky
• 🔥 The secret catharsis of screaming and throwing rocks into water (yes, really)
• 🌈 The beauty of trusting the in-between and letting arrival be just another beginning
• 💡Why it's okay to romanticize a new life—and why it's also okay when it turns out to be messy AF
• 💃🏼 The importance of place: finding the kind of land that makes you feel alive
• 🤝 Friendship as medicine and why it's absolutely possible to make real friends as an adult

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What does it mean to hold the unbearable complexities of the world without shutting down or lashing out? 

In this rich, heartfelt conversation, Eva and Kyley sit down with Ellen Wong, entheogenic death companion and host of the Mum podcast, to explore how we can stay present with grief, righteous anger, and the impossible paradoxes of life.

Together, we grapple with questions like:

• How do we show up when the world is on fire?
• How do we stay human when social media, activism, and politics feel polarized and violent?
• Is it possible to hold both fierce anger and deep compassion without collapsing into binaries?

Ellen shares her profound perspective as a death doula, inviting us to develop an intimate relationship with death—not just at the end of life, but in the countless transitions, identity shifts, and ego deaths we encounter along the way. The conversation weaves through themes of grief, cancel culture, safety, attachment, social justice, ancestral wounds, and the liberating power of surrender.

💥 Expect tears, belly laughs, and a radically honest look at what it means to be alive in these times

Ellen - 
https://tripwithellen.com/
https://www.instagram.com/tripwithellen/
https://www.instagram.com/mumthepod/

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This episode got meaty & esoteric fast. We wound up discussing free will and the grace of choicelessness with the brilliant and wise Victoria Jane.

https://victoriajane.co/,
https://www.instagram.com/victoriajane.hd/

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This show is brought to you by our inner teenagers.  With surprise and delight, we wound up reminiscing about the 90s, reveling in fashion-as-play and power, and generally invited our inner teen selves to run the show this week.

Kelly - 
Instagram.com/kellymahalak


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It’s the Season 5 finale(!) and we’re celebrating by asking each other some big, weird, and delicious questions, including:

-End-of-life wishes
-What our teenage selves needed to hear
-The worst snack food
-Our super-hero figurine selves, and what they are bringing into battle

✨ Plus, all summer long we’re re-releasing some of our most beloved episodes—so whether you’re new here or a longtime listener, there’s magic coming your way. Meanwhile, we're scheming up  BIG things for the fall, so stay tuned.

We love you!!

https://www.instagram.com/caratruth/
https://www.caralai.org/

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This week, dharma teacher Cara Lai joins us on the show to explore the misunderstood power of yin (or feminine) energy—and what it really means to do less without abandoning yourself.

We cover rest, rage, spiritual bypassing, chronic illness, and the sacred art of screaming in the woods and putting our boulders down.

Also: why Ali Wong is the medicine for us all. 

https://www.instagram.com/caratruth/
https://www.caralai.org/

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What if you don’t see anything when you meditate? What if your intuition doesn’t show up the way everyone says it’s supposed to?

This week, we answer a question from Spiritual FOMO—someone who’s craving a deeper connection to their intuition but feels stuck when it comes to visualization.Re: intuition.

If you’ve ever felt like the only one not “seeing things” during meditation or wondered whether you’re doing it wrong—you’re not alone.

Dear Eva and Kyley,

I keep hearing people talk about how powerful visualization is during meditation and manifestation—but honestly, I struggle with it so much.

When someone says “picture a golden light” or “see your higher self” my brain is just… blank.

It makes me feel like I’m doing it wrong. I want to connect more deeply to my intuition and spiritual practice, but I feel blocked. Is there something I can do to strengthen this muscle?

With love

Spiritual FOMO

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Can you truly love your body and still want to change it?

This week, we answer a listener question from someone who deeply loves herself… but also kinda wants to change it.

Does getting Botox or hitting the gym mean you’ve sold out your self-love? Is there room for both radical acceptance and the desire to feel even hotter?

We dig into vanity, desire, body politics, and why self-love doesn’t have to mean self-stagnation. 

Re: body image: 
Hi Eva and Kyley! I love your show and here’s my question: Can I truly love myself and still want to look hotter? Like, I do love myself. I’ve done a ton of inner work around body image, self-worth, and all that good stuff. But also… I still want to glow up. I want to feel sexier, maybe lose a little weight, and I think about getting botox… And sometimes I wonder—am I being vain? Or betraying the self-love I’ve worked so hard for? Does wanting to look better mean I don’t accept myself as I am? Or is it okay to want both—to radically love who I am and also still want to turn heads when I walk into a room? Help. I’m confused and also slightly overthinking this. 
Thanks, love you both! Signed, Hot & Healing

Email your questions to [email protected] or DM us on instagram

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What happens when astrology starts to feel like a rigid set of rules, instead of a tool for self-discovery? Sofia Adler joins us to talk about how astrology can create anxiety instead of insight, and how it can become a box we feel stuck inside, rather than a relationship to ourselves and the stars that we are living. Sofia also shares about her current work with Emotion Code and energy work, and how it’s changing everything for her. If you've ever felt afraid of Mercury Retrograde or trapped by your birth chart, this one's for you.

www.sofiaadlerwellness.com 
https://www.instagram.com/sofiaadler_/
https://sofiaadler.substack.com/

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