What does it really means to give yourself permission to be a messy b*tch—especially in the places where it feels hardest. 

Sparked by Eva being back in Taiwan with her family, this conversation explores what happens when all your tools fly out the window, ten years of therapy evaporate at the front door, and you’re left face-to-face with old patterns, big feelings, and the relentless voice that says you should know better by now.

This episode is for anyone heading into family gatherings, relational landmines, or inner winters where things feel messy or unresolved and are looking to experiment with a different approach: letting yourself be imperfect, uncontained, and human.

What we cover in this episode:

✨ Giving yourself permission to be a “messy b*tch” without bypassing responsibility 
🧠 The shame spiral of “I should know better” and why it’s so common in spiritual and personal development spaces
🏠 What happens to your nervous system when you’re back with family—and why your tools might temporarily disappear 
🧩 How perfectionism often forms as protection against shame 
🌀 The myth of a “perfect self” and the exhaustion of endless self-improvement 
⚖️ Accountability vs. punishment: why guilt doesn’t actually help us change "
💔 The subtle ways we weaponize spiritual insights against ourselves 
🔓 Releasing self-policing and noticing how inner violence fuels outer conflict 
🌱 Why compassion creates more real change than criticism ever could 
🕊️ Exploring innocence—not just in others, but in yourself 
🔥 The fear and grief that arise when old identities start to dissolve 
🤍 Touching unconditional love and why it can feel unfamiliar, fleeting, or even scary 



💫 Connect with Eva & Kyley

Sign up for Awakening with Eva for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Torchbearer Workshop with Kyley
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/torchbearer-workshop

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course

Kyley and Eva explore the real roots of burnout, the difference between desire and proving, and why so many people feel torn between achievement and inner alignment. They unwind the cultural belief that you must choose between being connected to your soul and creating a successful life, and offer a grounded alternative: ambition becomes nourishing when it’s linked to desire instead of fear.

A listener asks: 

Hello Universe. I'm feeling overwhelmed by hustle culture and the constant push to achieve more. I'm ambitious and I want a life that feels successful, but I also feel like I'm burning out. Can ambition and spirituality actually coexist, or am I trying to merge two things that don't fit? How do I find balance when one part of me wants to go  big and another part just wants to breathe? Signed Ambitious, but Spiritual.

What we cover in this episode:
✨ Why burnout is a signal, not a personal failure
🌱 The difference between ambition and desire (and why one drains you while the other fuels you)
🌀 How proving-energy pulls us into chasing, urgency, and depletion
💭 Relearning how to listen to your desire when it’s buried under productivity culture
🔥 Why the stories we carry about success often trace back to capitalism, colonialism, and old survival strategies
💗 The emotional vulnerability of receiving, resting, and telling the truth about what you need
💫 How presence creates the kind of impact hustle alone never can
🛑 The role of safety: why rest, desire, and “being” can feel uncomfortable at first
🌿 What it looks like to let parts of your identity crumble so something truer can take shape
🌈 How clarity about who you are shifts your definition of success
🎢 Parenting, intuition, and the small everyday initiations that mirror the bigger spiritual journey
🌙 Why being comes before doing, and why everything changes when you let that become your internal compass  

This episode is a conversation about returning to yourself, honouring the truth of what you want now, and letting being - not doing - become the source of your impact.

💫 Connect with Eva & Kyley

Inevitable: The Key to Your Business Breakthrough  

Free Workshop happening Dec 5th    
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/inevitable

Sign up for Awakening with Eva for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Torchbearer Workshop with Kyley
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/torchbearer-workshop

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course

This week's listener asks a question about making a decision at a crossroad - both Kyley and Eva have danced around big changes more than once and share their advice and experience when weighing the complexities of money, safety, job transitions, entrepreneurship culture, and the often-invisible emotional terrain of taking a leap. 

The question: 
Hello Universe. I'm standing at a fork in the road and every day it feels harder to choose. I've been offered a promotion at my current job, more money and responsibility and the professional recognition.

I feel like I've always wanted. But if I'm being honest with myself, part of me feels hollow at the thought of saying yes. The other option is to finally take the leap that I've been dreaming about for years, quit my job, and start my own small business. It's exciting but terrifying. There's no guarantee of success, and I worry I might be walking away from stability just because I'm restless.

How can I tell whether my desire for change is intuition or just impatience? Signed standing at a crossroads?

What we cover in this episode:

🌿 How “hollow” feelings around an opportunity can be one of the clearest internal signals we get — and why it matters more than external logic

🔍 The real reason we convince ourselves we’re confused, even when part of us already knows the truth

💬 Why people often seek out “permission-givers,” and what that reveals about the decision they’ve already made

🔥 The myth of the linear, consequence-free leap — and how following your heart can be both right and really uncomfortable

💸 The complicated emotional world of money, safety, escape fantasies, and why entrepreneurship gets romanticized in unhelpful ways

⚖️ The difference between taking a leap that stretches you vs. taking a leap that overloads your nervous system

✨ How to discern intuition from impatience by listening for the quiet, steady pull beneath the fear

❤️ Why regret usually comes from not trying — not from trying and falling down along the way

This is a helpful listen for anyone circling a big decision, feeling both longing and dread, and wondering whether their desire for change is intuition, impatience, or something deeper calling from underneath the noise.

💫 Connect with Eva & Kyley

Inevitable: The Key to Your Business Breakthrough  

Free Workshop happening Dec 5th    
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/inevitable

Sign up for Awakening with Eva for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Torchbearer Workshop with Kyley 
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/torchbearer-workshop

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course

Eva’s spent years wrestling with one of the most loaded questions in a woman’s life: Do I actually want kids? In this episode, she finally names her answer—not from pressure or panic, but from a deep exhale that arrived when her real life (and real relationship) reflected the truth she’d been circling for years. She and Kyley trace the grief, conditioning, cultural expectations, plant medicine visions, and tiny moments of clarity that led her to choose a childfree path—and the freedom, tenderness, and community that decision opens up.

If you’ve been wrestling with this question yourself—or just feeling the weight of needing to decide—we hope this conversation offers clarity, comfort, and the confidence to trust your own timing.

What we cover in this episode:

✨ The relief that surfaced when Eva stopped forcing clarity and started listening to her body
🧭 The emotional undertow of indecision, timelines, and the fear of “getting it wrong”
🥲 The grief that lives inside every path—motherhood, not-motherhood, and unlived lives
🧨 How cultural and familial expectations shape who women believe they’re supposed to be
🌿 The plant medicine ceremony that revealed the beauty and the cost of motherhood
🏡 Reimagining belonging: chosen family, community, and aging without kids
🧡 Meeting regret with maturity instead of letting it dictate your choices
🔥 The unexpected empowerment inside letting your life be shaped by truth, not pressure

💫 Connect with Eva & Kyley

Inevitable: The Key to Your Business Breakthrough  
2-Day Free Workshop happening Dec 4th & Dec 5th    
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/inevitable

Sign up for Awakening with Eva for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Torchbearer Workshop with Kyley 
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/torchbearer-workshop

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course

Abigail Rose Clarke is a somatic teacher and author whose work invites people back into honest relationship with their bodies, and the world around them. 

Abigail speaks about somatics in a way that’s refreshingly un-branded. She reminds us that the body isn’t a self-improvement project but a whole ecosystem that includes our relationships, histories, communities, and the ground beneath our feet. 

🌿 What We Talk About

🌱 Living in the Ecotone
Abigail’s discovery of the term ecotone—the meeting place between ecosystems—and how it mirrors the emotional edge where grief and joy can exist side by side.

💫 What Somatics Actually Means
Tracing the roots of the word “somatic” to its original sense of the whole body, and why reducing it to nervous-system regulation misses the point.

🌍 Gravity, Ease, and the Body’s Relationship to Earth
Abigail reframes gravity as an ongoing relationship rather than a force to resist, describing the relief that comes when we let ourselves be held.

🔥 When Wellness Becomes Another Job
A grounded critique of how capitalism turns embodiment into a product to be bought and sold—and what it might look like to reclaim our practices from that system.

💔 Grief, Pain, and the Ground That Holds Us
How the death of her longtime dog brought Abigail back to the simplest somatic truth: that the earth underneath us offers unconditional support when nothing else can.

🌸 G R O W L: A Simple Somatic Framework
Abigail’s approachable method—Ground (or Gravity), Relate, Observe, Widen, Love—offering a way to meet the body with curiosity rather than correction.

💍 Commitment Without Constriction
Reflections on her recent engagement and the ongoing experiment of how two people can choose each other while still allowing change, space, and evolution.

🌕 The Shape of Long-Term Love and Friendship
A re-imagining of commitment that values honesty and aliveness over longevity, and how the health of any bond depends on letting each person keep becoming.

💬 Connect with Abigail

• Website: abigailroseclarke.com
• Instagram:.instagram.com/abigail.rose.clarke
• Book: Returning Home to Our Bodies

💫 Connect with Eva & Kyley

A Gentle & Fierce Path Forward: A Workbook for Staying Present, Committed and Resourced in Times of Crisis
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/gentle-fierce-workbook

Sign up for Awakening with Eva for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Torchbearer Workshop with Kyley 
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/torchbearer-workshop

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course

This week, Eva and Kyley sit down with Eduardo Rombauer, a Brazilian “soul scientist,” activist, and healer whose work begins and ends with love — not as an idea, but as a living force.

Once a political organizer trying to change the world from the outside, Eduardo now guides others in what he calls “the revolution of the heart.” He believes that love is both our original nature and our most advanced technology — and that remembering it is the real work of our time.

Eduardo’s work is about finding those barriers and learning to stay with them — not to remove them through force, but to soften them through acceptance.

What we cover in this episode 🌹

💗 Love beyond the mind: Why trying to define love keeps us from experiencing it — and how the intellect can never grasp what the heart already knows.

🌎 The soul as scientist: Eduardo’s evolution from politics to consciousness work, and how he now explores love through community, healing, and spiritual inquiry.

🧬 “To love is to unite without mixing.” How this one principle applies to everything from parenting and relationships to nations and the self.

👶 Parenthood as initiation: The way Eduardo’s daughter became his greatest mirror — helping him confront inherited anger, repair generational patterns, and rediscover tenderness.

🌑 Loving the “evil side”: What it means to include every shadow and contradiction within us, and why true self-love requires embracing what we’ve been taught to reject.

🕊️ From savior to servant: The humbling shift that comes from realizing you can’t rescue anyone — only walk beside them as they remember their own power.

🔥 Facing ridicule as a spiritual practice: Eduardo’s recent initiation into being seen, misunderstood, and still choosing love anyway.

💫 Mind in service of soul: A practice for using awareness as a bridge between intellect and intuition, reason and reverence.

Eduardo’s story is a reminder that love is not something we earn or achieve. It’s the material we’re made of.

Connect with Eduardo -
https://www.instagram.com/durombauer/
https://www.eduardorombauer.com/

A Gentle & Fierce Path Forward: A Workbook for Staying Present, Committed and Resourced in Times of Crisis
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/gentle-fierce-workbook

Sign up for Awakening with Eva for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Torchbearer Workshop with Kyley 
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/torchbearer-workshop

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course

In this week’s listener Q&A, Eva and Kyley unpack a deceptively simple question:

"Do you resonate with the idea of “emotionally immature” people, or the framework of “old souls” vs “younger souls”? Sometimes these labels help me soften toward challenging people in my life (like parents, in-laws, or bosses). Other times, I worry they’re just ways to avoid looking at my own patterns.

So my bigger question is: when you’re in relationships that really test you, do you find frameworks like this useful? Or are they just the mind trying to control things?"

________________________________________

In this episode, we explore:

💭 When labels like “emotionally immature” or “narcissist” offer relief—and when they become crutches for self-protection or self-abandonment

🪞 The difference between using frameworks to understand others vs. using them to avoid your own patterns

🌗 Why discernment (not perfection) is the real skill of emotional and spiritual maturity

⚖️ How the “old soul / young soul” hierarchy can quietly feed superiority, ego, or even spiritual elitism

❤️ The power of dropping the story altogether - what happens when we meet people as they are, without a label or framework

💡 How anger, resentment, and cynicism can actually be doorways to deeper acceptance and peace

🌀 What it looks like to balance compassion with boundaries - especially in relationships that are less safe or still painful

🔥 The ongoing practice of holding paradox: seeing what’s true about someone and keeping your heart open

________________________________________

A Gentle & Fierce Path Forward: A Workbook for Staying Present, Committed and Resourced in Times of Crisis
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/gentle-fierce-workbook

Sign up for Awakening with Eva for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Torchbearer Workshop with Kyley 
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/torchbearer-workshop

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course

In this heart-opening conversation, we sit down with Shahem -  Black queer therapist, content creator, and community organizer whose work bridges grief, joy, and resistance. 

Together we explore how to grieve in a culture that doesn’t make space for loss, how joy can be a radical practice of survival, and how resistance can look like choosing authenticity when the world wants you numb. This episode is a reminder that balance is about staying connected to ourselves and each other through it all.

In this episode we explore:
✨ Grief as more than death—why losing a job, identity, or sense of autonomy deserves to be honored as loss
🌀 The three pillars of balance: grief, joy, and resistance—and how each keeps the others alive
❤️ How to actually grieve
💬 Men and emotional disconnection—what patriarchy steals from everyone, and why reclaiming tenderness is liberation
🔥 Resistance  as the everyday practice of showing up authentically”
🌈 Community as the antidote to despair—why healing, grieving, and joy all require other people
💡 “Not enoughness” as a tool of oppression—and how reclaiming your own enoughness becomes an act of defiance
🌻 Finding your role in the revolution—why balance means giving what you can, in the ways that are true to you

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, cynical, or unsure how to stay tender in the face of so much collective pain, let this conversation be a place to land.

Connect with Shahem - 
https://links.5hahem.com/

A Gentle & Fierce Path Forward: A Workbook for Staying Present, Committed and Resourced in Times of Crisis
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/gentle-fierce-workbook

Sign up for Awakening with Eva for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course

In this episode, we sit down with Susan V, Eva's dear friend and facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, to discuss how to stay connected to yourself — in conflict, in love, and when you’re single.

They unpack how shame turns into perfectionism, how to take responsibility without collapsing into guilt, and making peace with being single. Susan shares how she released the idea that love would “save” her, and how that shift made space for her to stay connected to herself when she found herself in a loving relationship.  

This episode is for anyone who’s ever over-apologized, abandoned themselves for love, or struggled to stay true to themselves when things get messy.

We discuss:  

Being whole in relationship — How to be yourself while staying connected to others.

Accountability vs. shame — Taking responsibility for your impact without turning it into self-blame.

Perfectionism trap — How trying to “get it right” keeps you from experiencing fulfillment and safety

Singlehood & self-worth — Letting go of the idea that being single means you're unlovable  

Real love — Why healthy relationships come from wholeness, not from finally being “healed enough.”

About Susan:

Susan Vielguth is a Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, whose work is rooted in the liberation that comes from questioning our painful beliefs. You can learn more about Susan at theworkwithsusan.com.

Susan
www.theworkwithsusan.com
www.instagram.com/reclaimyourlight/

Eva
Sign up for Awakening for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course

In this week’s episode, we dig into the paradox at the heart of the spiritual path: how to surrender to life’s unfolding while still staying fiercely committed to your dreams.

This conversation was sparked by a listener question that felt so alive for both of us right now:

"Hello universe. I keep circling around the same dilemma. How do I balance surrender with my own will and desires? I have clear dreams for my life and business, and I feel called to pursue them, but how do I know when I'm gripping too tightly in control versus when I'm actually being asked to stay committed and persevered despite the obstacles? Sometimes devotion and discipline feel like the opposite of surrender. How do I weave them together? Signed God, take the wheel, but not my dreams."

We get real about:

• The subtle difference between devotion and self-abandonment
• Why “should” is almost always a red flag that you’re forcing
• Learning to trust life moment by moment (even when things fall apart)
• How attachment to a specific outcome often masks the deeper desire underneath
• Finding the wisdom inside the “gripping” without bypassing or bulldozing over it

Along the way, you’ll hear stories about our own messy edges with business, health, parenting, and money—and how the practice of surrender meets the daily reality of deadlines, big goals, and longing for stability.

✨ If you’ve ever wondered how to trust life without losing sight of your dreams, this episode is for you.

A Gentle & Fierce Path Forward: A Workbook for Staying Present, Committed and Resourced in Times of Crisis
https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/gentle-fierce-workbook

Eva
Sign up for Awakening for FREE
https://dogged-trailblazer-8821.kit.com/756fe8553d

Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva

Kyley

Sign up for upcoming FREE  Workshop - Torchbearer: Build a Business That Builds a Better World https://portal.kyleycaldwell.com/torchbearer-workshop

Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course