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In this recap episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell dig into their favorite takeaways from the conversation with Tara Connaghan, a traditional Irish fiddle player from Donegal whose award-winning podcast decodes the unspoken rules of Irish music sessions. They unpack why unfamiliar spaces feel so intimidating to newcomers, the etiquette of joining as a beginner, the three kinds of people every new learner needs.
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Episode Transcript:
Lesley Logan 0:00
When you are a beginner, there is an anxiety about how do I join? What's the etiquette? Do I have enough skills to be here? Am I allowed to sit here? Can I sit there? And she explained that you're scared because you just don't know how to enter the space. And I think it's really important to acknowledge that when we're a beginner at things, we're allowed to have some fear, you know?
Lesley Logan 0:15
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 0:58
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co-host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the warm convo I have with Tara Connaghan in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, you can pause this, go listen to that, and then come back to this. You can listen to this, then go back to that. She has an Irish accent.
Brad Crowell 1:12
Yes, she does.
Lesley Logan 1:13
So sometimes that's fun to listen to.
Brad Crowell 1:15
It sure was. She's also a musician. Love that.
Lesley Logan 1:18
Yes, yes. And she has a great podcast as well. It's winning awards, even though it's brand new, because it's so niche. It's a niche in a niche. It's kind of amazing, but we'll get into that in a minute. First, today is August 20, 2026, and it's World Mosquito Day because, you know what? Those little fuckers need their own day. Honestly, because you need to be reminded that they suck. But you need to know how bad it is because it's...
Brad Crowell 1:39
Literally.
Lesley Logan 1:40
Oh, that's so funny! Pun wasn't intended, but I slayed that. So World Mosquito Day unites global health efforts every August 20th commemorating Sir Ronald Ross's 1897 discovery that mosquitoes transmit malaria. Well, thanks, Sir Ronald Ross. Do you think his parents named him Sir Ronald Ross, or he was Ronald Ross, and then they got the "Sir"?
Brad Crowell 2:01
He got the "Sir."
Lesley Logan 2:01
Oh, okay.
Brad Crowell 2:02
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 2:02
Well, this crucial day raises awareness about the ongoing threat of mosquito-borne illnesses like dengue, dengue?
Brad Crowell 2:09
Dengue
Lesley Logan 2:09
Dengue, Zika.
Brad Crowell 2:11
Yeah, it would be normally known as dengue fever.
Lesley Logan 2:13
Yeah, dengue fever, Zika, and yeah.
Brad Crowell 2:16
Good luck on that one.
Lesley Logan 2:20
Chikungunya. I'm reminding.
Brad Crowell 2:25
It could be Chikungunya. Chikungunya.
Lesley Logan 2:28
I'm not sure. Yeah. Anyways, well, my speech therapy didn't help me with that one. Discover how you can protect yourself, support research, and contribute to eradication initiatives worldwide. You know what you can do? Keep your fucking still water from being still. You guys, stir your pools. Don't let, you know, I listened to an episode of The Daily years ago when it was good, and it talked about how there are these mosquitoes that can live in a capful, you know those plastic water bottles? That size capful of water in a tire across continents. So on a ship that takes months, and then they can just spread. They don't need a lot of water anymore. So you guys have got to move your water around. Do you remember when we lived in LA and there was a big deal about the virus, and we were like at the airport. Everybody was on guard for puddles and drying things up. It was a weird community. It was before COVID, but LA had a community because people were getting... I don't think it was Zika, but there was a virus being carried by the mosquitoes, and it was a reason why even the airport had to clean up their water. They were giving out fines.
Brad Crowell 3:31
I can't remember what it was, because Zika is usually in Asia, but it obviously can spread.
Lesley Logan 3:37
So obviously, I talk about standing water around your home, but applying an EPA-registered repellent and raising awareness about mosquito-borne diseases is a great way to support the public health initiatives. Isn't it funny if we just start going around. Everybody today, I want you to go around and go, "It's World Mosquito Day. Do you have any standing water? Do you know how to get rid of mosquitoes?" So Vegas was notoriously known for having no mosquitoes, and now we have lots of mosquitoes. We have a whole mosquito problem, and at UNLV, there's a woman who studies the whole thing. But now we have mosquitoes, and it's really annoying because I thought I only got bit by mosquitoes when I was in Cambodia. Now we get bit all the time.
Brad Crowell 4:10
It's not even, I mean, honestly, LA was, I felt like I got more mosquitoes in LA than Cambodia, but it depends on the time of year in Cambodia. I think it depends on the season, of course. But there definitely are mosquitoes there. We had a lot more in Thailand than Cambodia.
Lesley Logan 4:26
Thailand killed me. Cambodia, I've learned to figure it out. And when you come to our retreat in Cambodia, we tell you what to do so you don't get bit. All right, you guys, what do we got going on? We're on our way back from the tour, actually. So we're probably either in El Paso or on our way to Tucson right now. We're gonna wrap it up in a few days in Las Vegas. And something you need to know, I'm really, really proud of. I started a teacher-training program for new teachers. So if you heard the rumor, it is true, and it's called upLift, and it will start early next year at a studio, hopefully near you. So, in fact, in the next couple weeks, I'll be taking applications from the people who want to license and teach the program, and then this fall, I'll be training them how to do it. Then I'll be working alongside them to make sure that it is done the way I know it will work and change your life and change the lives of the people that you teach. So you should go to xxll.co/uws if you would like to be a student. This is for first-time teachers or partially trained teachers, or maybe people who want to bridge into classical and they want it to be more of an in-person experience. So xxll.co/uws. And then for those who are already comprehensively trained and you want more of a master's program, you can go watch the recent eLevate Live Q&A call I did at lesleylogan.co/elevate. That's L-E-S-L-E-Ylogan.co/elevate. I did a mini class. I answered a ton of questions. We have a bunch of grads on there. We are filling 2028 as we speak, and only people who graduate eLevate can actually teach upLift. So if you are like, "Oh my God, how do I get my application in?" You won't even find out until you have done eLevate. So there you go. All right, you guys, we got a lot going on. Balanced Body sponsored our tour, so we're so excited because we have to take Contrology equipment everywhere, and we're spending a lot of time with them the rest of this year. I'll tell you more about that in a second. But thank you to Balanced Body for sponsoring our summer tour, and they are also sponsoring our winter tour this year, which we will announce next month. So make sure that you're on our email list so you don't miss out because literally on the summer tour, several cities sold out in one day.
Brad Crowell 6:27
In one day.
Lesley Logan 6:28
In one day.
Brad Crowell 6:29
Yeah. So how do you get on the waitlist? Go to OPC.me/events.
Lesley Logan 6:33
There you go. Go do that. Okay. So if you're new here, one of the ways you can actually support us is by being an OPC member. But if that's more of a commitment than you want to make, when you buy our amazing flashcards at opc.me/flashcards, not only do you support us and this podcast, but you're also supporting the Nevada SPCA. Just so you know.
Brad Crowell 6:49
Yeah, but I just wanted to say before we move on, becoming a member, you can start with a trial. So it's a 40-day trial for 40 bucks, and you pick the trial based on the equipment you have access to, and then you get to come hang in this awesome community we have. We just revamped our community page, the whole community platform. It's really cool and just awesome people. So not only that, you can do it anywhere you are.
Lesley Logan 7:15
Yeah, anywhere you are, at any level, with whatever you got. It's pretty great. It is the workout that works for you. That's what we say. So you guys, we're going to be home for a bit, and then we're going to be in Cambodia. You cannot join us this year in Cambodia, but you can certainly join us next year by getting on our waitlist. We will open up our early-bird special in January. If you hear a dog snoring in the background, her name is Darla. We cannot stop this; it's just going to keep going. But before we head to Cambodia, we're actually driving to Sacramento. I'm teaching, and we'll have a booth at the Sacramento POT. It is the Balanced Body 50th-Year Celebration. The ultimate, the penult, the penultimate, the, what do you call it? I mean, they've been celebrating all year long at all the different POTs.
Lesley Logan 7:53
No, but anyways, it's at the headquarter area, and it's gonna be so much fun. And then after that, I'll be at the POT India. So I am at all the 50th anniversary POTS. Basically, I'll be a
Brad Crowell 8:03
A 50-year celebration is called a golden jubilee or a golden anniversary.
Lesley Logan 8:08
The Jubilee. I don't think they know that. I don't think they do either because they could have done a Jubilee instead of a whatever party. Anyways, here we are. So, if you want information about the Sacramento POT or what I'm doing in Goa, India, which, by the way, it looks stunning. I really will just say yes. I said yes because it's going to be at this stunning resort at the beach in Goa, and there's a bunch of Americans who are also going because they're like, "I wanted to take a workshop from you, and I've always wanted to go to India." And I'm like, "Well, see you there." Me too. So xxll.co/pot will get you information on both Sacramento and Goa. I have no idea how to get you information, but I am going to teach in China this year.
Brad Crowell 8:44
Woo!
Lesley Logan 8:45
This is a big deal.
Brad Crowell 8:46
Yeah, just outside of Shanghai.
Lesley Logan 8:47
Yeah, I don't even know how I'm getting there yet at the time of this recording. But we're figuring it out, everyone. Basically, here's what's going on. I am doing a lot of traveling with and without Brad this year because next year I'm not, because next year we're focused only on upLift, eLevate, our tours, and so it's quite an exciting time. I haven't said yes to anything for next year, and we're recording this in the summer, which is kind of insane because usually I'm already booked out, but we're not because we're saying, "Not yet, not yet." Anyways, all right, we got to get into this episode, but before that, Brad, what is the awareness that we're bringing people's attention to today?
Brad Crowell 9:25
Yeah. So as you know, we switched to charity of the week instead of questions. So today we are doing something slightly different. We encourage you to seek out local businesses in your community to celebrate National Black Business Month. Yeah. So this month, instead of highlighting just one charity, we're focused on the whole month to go out and support your local Black-owned businesses. Why? Back in 1921 in Tulsa, Oklahoma, it was home to one of the wealthiest Black communities in the country, the Greenwood District, known as Black Wall Street. In the span of about 15 years, it had built up hundreds of Black-owned businesses: grocers, theaters, hotels, doctors' offices, over 1000 homes. And then, over a two-day period, white mobs, some of them literally deputized by the city, burned more than 35 city blocks. They burned them to the ground, and as many as 300 people died. Roughly 10,000 were left homeless, and not a single person was ever prosecuted. Yeah, for decades it barely appeared in the history books, and Greenwood residents rebuilt, but the community never got back to where it fully was. Survivors were never compensated. So when we talk about supporting Black-owned businesses today, it's not just a nice idea; it's part of rebuilding something that was deliberately destroyed.
Lesley Logan 10:42
It's crazy because I didn't learn about this. I heard about this around 2020.
Brad Crowell 10:46
Yeah, I started to hear about this. Actually, there were TV shows that were focused on this in the superhero world, and I started watching it, and I was like, "Whoa, this is crazy! How did I never hear about this?" And then I started to really learn more about it, and it's just tragic. It's just unbelievable. It's unbelievable.
Lesley Logan 11:04
Here's the thing: if a hurricane does this, we're in an uproar if the government doesn't go in fast enough and fix things, right? But this was deliberately done. This is not, it's just hate racism. Yeah. And then no one went in and helped any of these people, and so yet again, a group of people were set back even further. So not only did we not do restitution after slavery, when they finally do get ahead, well, let's burn it to the ground and create even more problems. And so it's just really fucking frustrating.
Brad Crowell 11:34
There is a, you know, if you're wondering how to go support local Black-owned businesses in your community, there's a great resource that you can use, that is ByBlack.us. It's a national directory built by the U.S. Black Chamber of Commerce. It's searchable by location and even has curated city guides. So wherever you're listening from, you can find Black-owned businesses near you. And if you're local to us in Las Vegas, check out the Greater Las Vegas Black Chamber of Commerce at glvbcc.org, and also the Henderson Black Chamber of Commerce or the local directory called Black Biz Connect Las Vegas.
Lesley Logan 12:16
Yeah, and that came up just when we were doing this search, so you can also figure that out by putting your city in. It's just a great thing to do if you want to just be... Here's the deal: we vote with our dollars, and so every single day there are things that we have to do for these fucking billionaires because we can't get away from it. But also, you can do this, and you can make small changes. So it's really important. We recently, at the time of recording this, had donated $800 to the Nevada SPCA, right? And I was like, "Oh, I know it's only $800," and they're like, "It's a lot of money. Thank you so much." It's from your flashcards for quarter two. And I said, "Oh, can I find out what does that do?" And they were able to show me what $800 can do, right? It can feed 114 shelter animals for one week. So when you take your dollars and you put them locally into a locally owned business, you are making major impacts. The ripple effects are things you can't even understand or see. And then when you direct that to being a Black-owned business, you are actually helping. It's just something that's really, really amazing because that means family members and friends of that business owner are seeing that they can be successful as an entrepreneur. If you can't see things happen in your life, it's really hard to be it till you see it. So I just think it's important. I thought it was a great way to honor this month. And so just put your city in and put "Black-owned businesses," and you'll get a list, I'm sure.
Brad Crowell 13:33
Yeah, awesome. So thanks for supporting your local Black-owned businesses. And if you have any Black-owned businesses, or actually any charities at all, that you suggest that we do some research on and then bring to the pod, text us at 310-905-5534. 310-905-5534. Stick around. We'll be right back.
Brad Crowell 13:54
All right. Well, let's talk about Tara Connaghan. Tara is a traditional Irish fiddle player from Donegal with nearly 40 years of experience playing music. I think she said more than 40 years of experience. In fact, I think she said she's been teaching for 40 years.
Lesley Logan 14:10
I mean, she doesn't look that old, so I don't think she could be. I don't think she's in her 60s.
Brad Crowell 14:14
Regardless, she's very, very clearly an expert. She's the creator and host of the award-winning podcast, In Tune with Tradition: Perspectives on Session Etiquette and Irish Traditional Music. That is a very niche pod.
Lesley Logan 14:29
It's a niche in a niche.
Brad Crowell 14:30
It breaks down the unspoken cultural rules of Irish music sessions. She also teaches adults and leads private immersion experiences in Ireland for musicians wanting to dive deeper on session culture. Side note: She actually has a tour coming up in September 2026, so next month. So go to sessionetiquette.com/retreat for details. Pretty sure she said it's happening in Ireland.
Lesley Logan 14:55
I think so. And also, by the way, if you don't even know what Irish music is and session etiquette, don't be like, "What is this podcast episode about?" I don't know, because actually everything that we discussed about that can be applied to being a beginner at anything. So I really, really like it.
Brad Crowell 15:09
Yeah. Yeah. So.
Lesley Logan 15:11
Well, I'll just go first. So I think we can all understand. When you're a beginner, there can be a performance anxiety of sorts. You're not sure if you're wanting to be a knitter. Okay, an example: Andrea Maida and her husband and Brad and I went to a knitting store because Andrea Maida, a dear friend of ours, Pilates instructor, is a knitter. So we go to a knitting store, and there's a whole table of all these knitters, and they're just hanging out. And Andrea's like, "We can just go talk to them." And I'm, "I don't... are we allowed to go talk to them?" And then the first thing someone says, "Are you knit worthy?" Remember that? "Are you knit worthy?" And I was, "I don't know." If I was an aspiring knitter, I can tell you right now that I didn't feel welcome. I felt anxiety. But the other people, "Oh, don't let her get to you. You can sit down here." But I didn't know the etiquette of walking into a knit place. And so, when you are a beginner, there is an anxiety about how do I join? What's the etiquette? Do I have enough skills to be here? Am I allowed to sit here? Can I sit there? And she explained that you're scared because you just don't know how to enter the space. And I think it's really important to acknowledge that when we're beginners at things, we're allowed to have some fear, you know.
Brad Crowell 16:15
100%. I mean, it's just natural. It's part of it. It's like getting on stage the first time you're on stage. Your throat is parched. You're completely freaking out inside, but it just takes practice. The more you do it, the less you're in that headspace. Yeah. But also, too.
Lesley Logan 16:32
You play jazz, right? You play jazz.
Brad Crowell 16:35
I played jazz. It's been a long time.
Lesley Logan 16:37
But there are sessions. There's times when people get together to just play, and then there are times people can join in, right?
Brad Crowell 16:43
Yes. So I'm going to talk a little bit more about that when I share what I really loved about this conversation. But yes, in the jazz world, it's called a jam session, right? And you hear musicians, "Let's get together and jam." I generally hate a jam session when it's not jazz music, honestly. It was interesting to hear her talk about the different levels of learning and the different layers of how people interact in a jam session. Because when I was younger, when I was studying jazz and I was performing, I play the trombone, for all of you who don't know. I started playing in fourth grade, and I went all the way through college studying very intentionally on the trombone. And I was really good at the time, really, really good. I wasn't ever recording on the trombone because what I was really passionate about was playing the bass and singing. So even though I was really good on the trombone, that wasn't really where my heart was at the time. When I was playing it in college, you'd get together with people, and if they were not that good on their instrument or they hadn't had a lot of experience playing with other people in a space where you're listening to other people, then you don't know what to do. And this is a perfect parallel. Have you ever been in a conversation where someone only talks about themselves?
Lesley Logan 18:06
Yeah.
Brad Crowell 18:06
The whole fucking time.
Lesley Logan 18:08
Yeah.
Brad Crowell 18:08
And they never ask a reciprocating question.
Lesley Logan 18:11
Yeah.
Brad Crowell 18:12
It's not a back-and-forth.
Lesley Logan 18:13
Yeah.
Brad Crowell 18:14
Yeah. Musicians can do that too. They can just take over.
Lesley Logan 18:17
Well, and I think to wrap up my point, what I love is just like she says, once you learn the rules and the etiquette, the anxiety can disappear because you know what the rules are. I think a lot of times some of us are afraid to be beginners, and then we don't ever get to figure out what the rules are, so we never feel like we can be a beginner. But if you know what the rules are, then you know where you can play, right? I think, in a non-musical example, I get people who want to be on this podcast all the time. They're like, "We should do a pod swap." They pitch me. I'm okay. I love the balls. I love that confidence. They have 10 episodes. I have 700. I appreciate the invite, but that's not a mutual thing. I'm bringing so much more expertise. They're not going to have the conversation I want to have with 700 episodes with their 10. Or maybe they have a whole other following. They could back that up. Maybe they're up-and-coming. But really, no offense to them, it's not like they are below, but they actually need to go get experience with other people with 10 episodes, coming over here is not really going to be helpful for them because they don't really, you have to have experience to play. Like in Pilates, I absolutely love taking sessions from people who've been teaching for decades, right? But I'm not going to be, "Oh, you want to do a trade, Jay? Sandy, should we trade?" No. Not that I can't teach them something, but really it's not an equal exchange of information.
Brad Crowell 19:37
Yeah, I mean, this rolls straight into one of the things I loved about the conversation. She was talking about the etiquette of joining sessions as a newbie or a beginner. She said it's a very gentle process where you're kind of coming into it in a gentle way, and the anxiety of it and the, you have to be self-aware enough to know that you are easing your way in. For me, the easy parallel is growing up in a large family where I had lots of aunts and uncles and thinking about Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas dinner or something where everyone came over and they had the kids' table and they had the adults, right? And the kids' table, their conversation was generally about kid stuff, but I always ended up gravitating toward the adult table. And when I would get there, I had nothing to contribute to the conversation because I was 12, right? What do I know? I don't know anything about anything. But I'm listening to the adults talk about adult things, which I didn't even know what they were talking about. Didn't matter. I didn't have anything to contribute, so I didn't say anything, right? So when I was mentioning earlier, sometimes people can be in conversations where they 100% dominate the conversation, and it's not a conversation; it's one-sided. Alternatively, the other side of that is never contributing to a conversation and not having the confidence to speak up. And a lot of people never get past that, right? Even imagine if I was 12, then 15, then 18, and I'm still sitting at the adult table, but I'm not talking. I'm not participating in the conversation. I'm still taking it all in, but why am I not contributing back, right? So there's these two sides of the fence there.
Lesley Logan 21:19
There's two extremes, and there's allowing yourself to be an observer because you're new to that table, and then at some point, you got to shit or get off the pot.
Brad Crowell 21:27
Yeah, that's right. At some point, you actually have to participate.
Lesley Logan 21:30
And I think where it happens is there has to be someone at that table who also invites you in.
Brad Crowell 21:33
Yeah, maybe. Yeah.
Lesley Logan 21:34
Remember the knitting table we started with? That woman who was, "Are you knit worthy?" I was, "I don't think so." I don't think I even replied to her. But then there was, "Oh, come sit down! Don't let her scare you!" Right?
Brad Crowell 21:45
That's right.
Lesley Logan 21:45
There needs to be someone who is aware of all the dynamics, who can be the guide.
Brad Crowell 21:51
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 21:51
You know, and so then you attach yourself to the guide, and you allow the guide to show you what's going on, what's the appropriate behavior here. We're watching The Pitt again, you guys. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. There's so much nuance to The Pitt. I love it so much. Dynamics, everything, everything. I can apply science of learning to The Pitt. All these different things, right? And that Mel King, bless her soul, her character just speaks in my heart. But she's going to high-five people after they save a guy's life, and no one high-fives her because that's not the etiquette. It's not what you do. It's your first day, babe. You're in their third hour, right? And so she's, "Oh, okay." She sits down. So she's trying to observe what the behavior is and trying to learn how to fit in. And it takes time. You're going to get it wrong. And that's the thing. You are going to fuck up at some point. You are going to think that you're invited in and you're doing the right thing. But actually, they changed the rules last week, and they moved it half an hour. And that doesn't make you a bad person. You just got to have self-awareness, you know, and then also a little gumption.
Brad Crowell 22:50
Yeah, and I think, you know, thinking back to etiquette of joining a session as a newbie or beginner, it is valuable to sit at the kids' table when you're a kid so that you can have conversations with your peers, and then you learn something from that so that when you do move to the adults' table, you have some understanding of just how conversation works. So in the same way, with music.
Lesley Logan 23:11
I think it's good to outgrow the kids' table because, yes, then you can recognize that you were the guide at the kids' table, and now you're over at the adults' table, so you can spot who the guide is over there. You know, I think it's good to have the experiences.
Brad Crowell 23:24
Yeah, and that's definitely how it works with jazz and jamming. It's important to work with people who are, well, I mean, you talked about this specifically with Tara, the people who are where you once were, people who are where you are at now, and the people who are where you want to be, you know, so that you can be a guide, you can have fun with your peers, you can learn from someone who is where you want to be. And so, for example, here in Las Vegas, once a week I go to a local bar. They host a jam night, and it's a jazz jam night, and they encourage people to sit in. Bring your instrument, come play. We'll always welcome you in. You can always play for a tune or whatever. And then generally, what they'll do is they'll let you name the tune so that you have the confidence. "Okay, I know this song."
Lesley Logan 24:16
Oh, I love that.
Brad Crowell 24:16
You know, and then basically they all know all the songs. These guys are pro musicians. They're absolutely incredibly well-versed, and if they don't know the song, they can figure out the song in the moment. They're amazing, right? And so it's actually really intimidating because, especially if you're a newbie playing with a crew like that, those guys are the pros, right? And so it's great experience, but it's also like you're not really in their circle. You know what I mean?
Lesley Logan 24:44
No. I do love how they approach that. I love that because they're actually saying, "Okay, you've been sitting here long enough. We can see that you're jamming with us. You're tipping your head to the beat or your foot to the beat. You can do something. You pick the song." So they're allowing you to have confidence in what you're going to do. And then they get to invite you in, and then after that they never have to again, or you get to keep coming. You broke the seal. It makes me think of David Doss as well. Remember when David Doss played at the Horse Trailer Hideout, and he noticed you were whistling, and then he's like, "Do you know the song?" He invited you in.
Brad Crowell 25:14
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 25:15
Because you have done karaoke, and you've been in bands, and you've toured as a singer. The stage doesn't scare you, but he does that with people all the time, and often they are not performers.
Brad Crowell 25:26
Right. Often they're not.
Lesley Logan 25:27
But he is allowing them to pick a song that they can do well. And I think that's just something for those of us, I think we all can take the application of etiquette and things like that to everything. I have people I go to learn from because they challenge me, right? There are people I challenge, and then there are people that I challenge to challenge people below. We all have to be doing that. Otherwise, first of all, the people that I go to, they go to people. Why? Because if they are not learning from other people, they're not going to be a good teacher for me. So I think we can all recognize where we are as the person who is the expert in one room, but maybe we're a beginner in this room. And how can we make sure that we're moving along, but we're also moving other people along? We can't always be the guide. At some point, we have to pass the torch.
Brad Crowell 26:11
Yeah, you're right. You're right on the money on that. It is important to set yourself up to be a guide for the next generation coming along. There's one other thing I wanted to mention about the conversation before I moved on, and that is about the skill of listening and responding to others in a musical context, but also in a conversation. For example, I just did it. I acknowledged what you said, and then I changed the topic. Right? When I was in college, I don't even know how I met this professor, but he said, "Hey, I want you to come audition for this class. You can't just join the class; you have to audition for the class." I was, "Okay." So I didn't even know what that meant. He didn't give me anything to prepare. I didn't know what was going on, so I just brought a bunch of music with me that I could play. And he was like, "All right, cool. I want you to play this thing," and I just played it. And he was, "Okay, cool. Now I'm going to play this on my guitar, and I want you to play along with me." And then we did. And then he's like, "I'm going to let you lead, and then I'm going to play along with you." And I was, "Okay." And we did this half-hour audition, right? And afterwards, he asked me a few questions, and he invited me to join this class. And literally this entire class was what he taught was the art of listening, right? And it wasn't what the class was even called. I can't remember what it was called. It was an unbelievable class. And this guy is one of the most astounding musicians I've ever met. He could hear an entire song and then write the song down afterwards in musical notation. He had.
Lesley Logan 27:41
That's a crazy memory.
Brad Crowell 27:42
It was perfect memory and perfect pitch. He could listen to a song and understand exactly what was happening. He could see it and write it out.
Lesley Logan 27:48
What a savant!
Brad Crowell 27:49
Yeah, savant, completely. But what he did in that class was so awkward because there was no music. There was no jam. You didn't have a rhythm that you were playing to. He took our class and he said, "All right, today in class we've got a French horn, two guitars, a bass. We got a guy playing the timbale, which is a weird drum that is amazing, and we got a trombone player, and then there's a guitar player. So go." We're, "What do you mean, go?" And he's, "Someone can start playing, and then if you feel inspired by what they're playing, I want you to play off of what they're playing. And then other people are going to jump in, and they're going to play, and then you're going to play, and together it will turn into something." And we were, "What the hell?"
Lesley Logan 28:35
Every day for a whole semester?
Brad Crowell 28:37
Not every day. It was once or twice a week. I can't remember. But it became one of my favorite classes to go to. And he told us, "You're never allowed to record this class. This class is not about turning this into a song. That's not what this is. What we're doing here is we're listening to each other, and we're responding based on what we're listening to." It was amazing. Unbelievable.
Lesley Logan 28:56
That's cool. By the way, based on the science of learning, that's exactly what you're supposed to do. You just throw people in, and then they have to start swimming.
Brad Crowell 29:03
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 29:04
If you don't, you just start drowning. So somebody feels the pressure enough to go, "Fuck it, okay?" And then other people are like, "Well, I don't want them to be alone," so they jump in. And then what happens is you start taking the knowledge that you have, the skill sets, and you start applying it to your long-term memory. It comes out of short-term memory. It moves into long-term memory because you're forced to hit recall because you're not actually reading any music. When you read music, you can leave that stuff in short-term memory and let it go. It switches to long-term because you're forced to listen and apply something that you've learned that could fit. It's fucking brilliant.
Brad Crowell 29:37
Yeah. People have told me over the years, "Brad, when we're in a conversation, I feel like you're really listening to me," and I genuinely attribute that to this class.
Lesley Logan 29:46
I would say you definitely do that better than I do on every day.
Brad Crowell 29:49
Yeah, because I had to. I learned how to do that in the class, and now it's just part of it, you know. So anyway, just the art of listening and how do you listen and how do you participate in a group like that? How do you encourage and respond? And sometimes you're taking the lead. Sometimes you're not taking the lead.
Lesley Logan 30:07
I think this whole thing you can apply to anything you want to do.
Brad Crowell 30:10
Yep.
Lesley Logan 30:10
Because everything is with people. So anyways, we have to wrap it up.
Brad Crowell 30:14
I love it. Sorry, I got really excited about this episode. All right, stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about those Be It Action Items.
Brad Crowell 30:21
All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Tara Connaghan? She emphasized that time and consistency are the only true replacements for convenience in the learning process. Okay. Time and consistency are the only true replacements for convenience in the learning process. What does that actually mean? What is she talking about when we say convenience in the learning process?
Lesley Logan 30:48
I think you've got to make learning easier. You have to not only do it for some time, but also consistently. So, for example, I'm doing the upLift Beta program right now. There's one person who, at the time of 30 days, has had halfway to 100 hours already, right? So that is time and consistency. They're picking up different things versus some people who only have nine. Now, I'm not saying one's better than the other. Actually, they're observing different things. But if you are only picking up something one hour once a week, you are going to have a harder time as the learning continues because you're having to restart and remember everything once a week versus if you were to even do 15 minutes every single day
Brad Crowell 31:27
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 31:27
It might even be the same amount of time from the one time a week to the seven times a week. But because you have the consistency of picking it up, you're actually having more convenience.
Brad Crowell 31:36
Yeah. She specifically said you don't build it up in one go; you build it up every single day. And it's more valuable to have 10 to 15 minutes a day than it is to do an hour once a week.
Lesley Logan 31:46
It's the same, by the way, guys. This applies to everything. I do not write one newsletter at a time. I write all of them. I do not do one podcast at a time. We do several because the setup, the getting ready, all that stuff. It allows you. It's just better. So just be more consistent. You put it all together. You'll get there.
Brad Crowell 32:02
I mean, Pilates and music, it's so much muscle memory, you know. And you can't cram muscle memory. It doesn't work. Motor learning does not work. She was equating it to brushing your teeth. You do it twice a day, forever. You've been doing it forever. So it gets to the point where it's rote. You don't even think about it anymore because you've done it so many times. You know how to do it without actually processing it. You can think about something else while you're doing that. She said, "How do you do this? How do you make sure that you get your 10 to 15 minutes a day in?" She said, "Keep your instrument in easy reach. Make it visible."
Lesley Logan 32:36
Yeah, whatever your instrument is.
Brad Crowell 32:38
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 32:38
I love that.
Brad Crowell 32:38
What about you?
Lesley Logan 32:39
She said, "Pick the thing that fills your cup and go for it."
Brad Crowell 32:42
Yeah, just in life.
Lesley Logan 32:43
Yeah, in life, pick the thing that fills your cup and go for it. Do the thing that really gives you so much joy and fills your cup. And I think this is really important. A lot of times, a lot of us are focused on the thing we don't do well, and they're like, "Why can't I get this?" And there are people who can get that for you. I was coaching someone today for Profitable Pilates, and she's not good at tech, but I don't have an online business, right? And so I'm listening to her whole thing she's working on, and she's doing all the right things according to all the right coaches. Then it comes out she needs nine clients, and I was like, "Girl, you don't need to be online for these nine clients for your online business. You could just tell 27 people what you do and then ask them to refer you, and I bet you'll get nine people. At worst, you get three. Yes, those three people refer you three people." But you do not need to pick the thing that you're not good at to make this business work. You need to pick the thing that you're good at and make this business work. So it applies to everything. Pick the thing that fills your cup, and then do that thing because when you fill your cup, everything is easier, including being in rooms that scare you. So yeah, I'm Lesley Logan.
Brad Crowell 33:44
And I'm Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 33:45
Thanks so much for being here today. Make sure that you tell Tara what touched you, what made you think of something, what aha moments you had. Send in your wins to the beitpod.com/questions, and we'll see you later. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Brad Crowell 33:57
Bye for now.
Lesley Logan 33:58
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 34:41
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 34:46
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 34:50
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 34:57
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 35:00
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
Being a beginner as an adult is its own kind of awkward, and most of us just call it nerves. Irish traditional musician and award-winning podcast host Tara Connaghan says that is not it at all. The real problem is that nobody handed you the rules of the room. She takes Lesley through the four stages of learning, why the frustrating middle is where most people quit, and the rock bottom that gave her clarity.
If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].
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Episode Transcript:
Tara Connaghan 0:00
It's too intimate to be putting pressure on it because I did lose it. So I put my hands on my heart because I feel like it's here. The music, when I play it, it's here. I suppose maybe because it is a fiddle as well, or a violin, but it's something so close, and I have lost it. I did lose it for a while, and if I lost it again, I don't know if I could survive that second loss.
Lesley Logan 0:22
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 1:03
Okay, Be It babe. Here's the deal: we have a unique topic on the podcast, but actually, we go extremely applicable to your life, if anything. We're going to talk about learning. We're going to talk about rock bottoms. We're going to talk about etiquette with the types of people that you're wanting to be around, and I think it's just quite fun. Tara's my new Irish friend that I didn't know I needed. Her name's Tara Connaghan, and she actually is an award-winning podcast host, and she teaches people how to play Irish music and also be in Irish sessions and the etiquette for that. And you're, what? But all of it is, I think, really the conversation is so helpful because if you want to be it till you see it, and I want to be in a pickleball league, or I want to be teaching X thing, or I want to learn this new skill, some of the things we have to understand is the process of learning, and then the etiquette of how do we join these groups? What are those things? So it's really quite fun. I can't wait for you to hear her, and then you'll have to check out her award-winning podcast because that's so great. Here is Tara Connaghan.
Lesley Logan 1:59
All right, Be It babes. This is going to be fun. This is going to be totally interesting. It's a topic I've definitely never had a guest on before, and that means we get to learn something new, but also learn things that we can use along our way to something unique. So, Tara Connaghan is our guest today. Tara, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?
Tara Connaghan 2:18
Hi, Lesley. I am an Irish traditional musician. I love playing Irish music. I love playing music in Irish music sessions, particularly. I'm from the northwest of Ireland, which is Donegal, which is kind of, it's not part of Northern Ireland, but it's more northerly than Northern Ireland. But it's geographically Northern Ireland, but not politically, if that makes sense. So we're in the Republic of Ireland. Very confusing. And I've lived all over Ireland. I've lived around the world a couple of bits, but mostly I'm always kind of living around Ireland. But I'm back in Donegal now for the last maybe 12 years, and I just love sessions. But I teach adults a lot, and they're always worried about joining into sessions because they're maybe newcomers to the sessions. So I always thought it was performance anxiety that was the problem, but actually, what's feeding the performance anxiety is that they don't know the etiquette to joining sessions. And so that was why I decided to start a podcast almost a year ago about etiquette, teaching people the etiquette of joining sessions, and I'm learning so much. Oh my God, it's amazing.
Lesley Logan 3:21
Okay, there's so many things I want to talk about because, first of all, what are sessions, and then to know what the etiquette is, but also it just goes into a lot of us do label something performance anxiety or just blanket anxiety when really it's we don't know how to be a beginner, we don't know how to enter something new. We don't know how to... It's hard to join a group because when you're an adult, all the groups are already kind of filled, and you're, I've got to join in on something, and they already know everything, and I don't know, and we don't know how to be beginners. Is that kind of what's happening?
Tara Connaghan 3:50
Totally, totally, yeah.
Lesley Logan 3:52
Okay, so just so we have the definitions, what are sessions, and what is the etiquette?
Tara Connaghan 3:56
A session can be lots of... There's lots of different types of sessions and different functions for sessions, but the main session is that it's a group of musicians who get together to play Irish music.
Lesley Logan 4:09
Okay.
Tara Connaghan 4:09
That's kind of the simplest term or the simplest way of explaining it. It's people who kind of know what Irish music is, and they want to play it with each other, and they want to kind of share their music together, and it's like a team. It's a team.
Lesley Logan 4:22
Okay, like you're making a band, but you're not a band, like a group.
Tara Connaghan 4:25
Yes, yeah. But there's no... Usually there's... Well, I say usually. A session is usually something without microphones, although sometimes it has microphones because it's maybe for tourists or maybe it's a noisy pub or something. So usually the ones that are in the corner with no microphones, they're just playing to each other.
Lesley Logan 4:44
It's like jazz when they get together and they just play together. Okay, so there can be sessions of any kind, but sessions for this would be the Irish musicians getting together. And then is the etiquette different for the Irish music versus, I guess, any musician, or what does that look like?
Tara Connaghan 5:00
I don't think it's particularly different. There may be slight differences. I think maybe one of the things is that you could be playing in a session with some of your heroes. They're quite accessible. Irish traditional musicians almost would be classed as... they're professionals but amateurs.
Lesley Logan 5:17
Okay, okay.
Tara Connaghan 5:18
Because they're not all making a living from it. Okay, so you could have some of the highest-quality Irish musicians playing in a session. You might have just come across, or maybe you've never heard Irish music before, and you walk in and you could be listening to some of the most amazing musicians.
Lesley Logan 5:35
That's so cool. I love this. I love this. So this is... I am grateful for the definitions because you're an expert in this area, but this is the thing for a lot of things, right? You could be in a chess group or a mahjong or pickleball. I'm a Pilates instructor who travels to teach Pilates instructors, and I find that if I want to just be in the group, sometimes the nervousness from the other people who maybe watch my videos or things like that, they get nervous and they have this performance anxiety, and it's like we're just here to kind of hang out. So, I guess if we could take it in a broad sense, how did you get here? Because we don't wake up going, "I'm gonna teach this." You know what I mean? It's not like what you tell someone in kindergarten. "When I grow up, I'm gonna teach Irish music." So, can you go back to your journey?
Tara Connaghan 6:23
I mentioned that I teach the adults mostly. I have a fortnightly fiddle class that I do, and I also teach at different summer schools or camps or things that we would teach music at throughout the year. And for the last... I've been playing music for nearly 40 years. Oh my god, I am playing music for 40 years. Oh god, that just dawned on me. Oh my god.
Lesley Logan 6:45
That's amazing, though, but it's annoying because, wow, so much clout, and also, oh, I'm older than I thought.
Tara Connaghan 6:53
Yes, yeah, yeah. So I've been teaching a long time. I do prefer to teach adults. I just have a natural sort of bond because an adult wants to be there. They're putting all their time and their energy, and they really want to be there. Whereas kids, the parents want them to be there. So I just want to be with people who want to do something, and then I can help them. If they don't want to be there, then I can't help them. So in every workshop, even though it's more about repertoire, when you're in the workshop we're like, we learn this tune and we learn this tune and we learn... So we might learn maybe three tunes a day or maybe one tune, depending on the levels of people. And always within one of those workshops or classes or camps, there will always be questions. Once one person asks, "Do I have enough tunes to start, to play in a session? Or can I sit there? Am I allowed to do this? Am I allowed to do that? Do you have to have this?" There's so many questions, and because there's so many unknowns, and they don't know the answers, they are terrified. And then when you're anxious and terrified, you probably do actions that you wouldn't normally do.
Lesley Logan 8:02
You make mistakes because the nerves are taking away the ability to be present.
Tara Connaghan 8:08
Yes, yeah, yeah. And then they start... Then things happen, and they're like, "Oh, and such-and-such gave out to me for doing something." And I think we've all been given out to. It's a natural sort of... If we go back to the animal kingdom, there's kind of a natural, "Look, you don't do that. You don't do that. Don't do this," and you're kind of almost like a cat would do to its kitten.
Lesley Logan 8:31
Yeah.
Tara Connaghan 8:33
It's not that you're trying to say you shouldn't be... There's no kind of "you shouldn't" or whatever. But it's just kind of a, "No, no, no. Wait this," or "Wait for your turn," or "Wait to this." So it's kind of the natural... You're teaching the natural language of your culture, whatever. But that's normally given to children.
Lesley Logan 8:51
Right.
Tara Connaghan 8:52
It's very hard to give that to an adult who is your peer in terms of age, but not your peer in terms of skill, and that's a really difficult thing to do. So Irish people are very, very bad at giving feedback. They don't want to offend anybody, so we just say nothing, and then things can blister away and fester.
Lesley Logan 9:11
I wonder if anyone is good at giving feedback very often because we're not trained at that. You don't go to college and learn, "Okay, in your life, if you have to give feedback to someone, this is the way you give it." That's not anything anyone's trained in. So if your culture is more, "We're just not going to say anything at all," it's just going to fester and blister, and we'll just put you over there in the corner. Other people will just tell you what it is and honestly cramp someone's spirit. You could just step on a flower. So I think we all have to learn how to be better at feedback, but it's different when students are learning because when you're younger, yes, there are still personality types that are putting pressure on themselves to be perfect. No matter your age, there are different levels to learning. Correct? Because whether or not you are learning Irish music or anything, every learning has a level.
Tara Connaghan 10:02
I mean, there's the four stages of learning. So there's when you're totally unconsciously aware. You're completely unaware. So when you were maybe two, your mother tied your shoelaces. You didn't tie your shoes. You didn't even know that shoelaces existed. They're just not in your conscious realm at all. And then maybe as you get... maybe four or five, you're like, "Oh, hold on a second. My mother's tying my shoes. I want to try that." You start getting, "I want to try it." Then there's that stage where you're conscious of it, but you realize how bad you are at it. So your competency level is pretty poor. You're incompetent, but you're consciously incompetent, so you know you're shit at it.
Lesley Logan 10:45
That's so hard because it's so frustrating.
Tara Connaghan 10:48
So frustrating. You're like, "I can't..." Sorry, I don't know if I can curse.
Lesley Logan 10:52
You can curse on this show. Totally.
Tara Connaghan 10:56
So you're so frustrated, as you say, and so many people give up at that stage because they're like, "I can't do this. No, I'm out." That sounds like me with surfing or certain things. I'm just like, "No, I can't do this. I'm out."
Lesley Logan 11:10
I understand that. With ADHD, I can be okay being bad at something, but I have to get good at it quickly. Otherwise, I'm out. My attention span's not there. But it is interesting. We see that in people in all learning things, right? I teach people how to teach Pilates, and you can see even if they're already teaching Pilates, when they discover that there is stuff that they didn't know they didn't know, then there's a frustration that no one told them, "I didn't know this." But you can't be told, no one is expert at everything when they're new. You just start new. Okay, so then we're pissed off, we're frustrated, and if we don't quit, what happens next?
Tara Connaghan 11:52
So if we don't quit and we keep going, then we start getting to a place where we're more competent. We've got a bit more competency. There's a big range within that. You're starting to get competent, and then you grow up to being much more competent, and you're consciously aware that you're competent. So it's maybe when you're six or seven and you're still tying the shoelaces. You can tie them, but it takes a bit of... You're still focusing on it. That takes a huge amount of energy, so it's a very exhausting stage where you're focusing on, "I have to tie the shoe. I have to do this loop and that loop." And your fingers are just faltering at it. The same with playing an instrument. You're kind of like, "I have to watch my left finger..."
Lesley Logan 12:42
"...this thing, and then breathe, and then this one." You're still talking yourself through it. Yes.
Tara Connaghan 12:46
Or even driving. "I have to put my foot here, and I have to look at the clutch. I have to put on my seatbelt before all of that, and I have to look in the mirror." I have to do this. There's so many things. Your brain is still running through the process of how to do it. Then you get to the last stage, which is you're competent, but you're unconsciously competent. So it's totally, did you remember tying your shoelaces this morning? No. You just did it. It becomes ingrained so that you don't even know that you're doing it anymore, but you can do it. The same with playing the fiddle. I'm thinking of something else because it's unconscious. It's already in the muscle memory of my fingers. It's in the muscle memory of my brain, my elbows, my whole body. My body does it, and then I can focus on, not something else, but something like, the next level, which is, "How do I do it better? How do I do the intricacies?" You're listening and going, "Oh, such-and-such did that. I might do that." You're listening for something else.
Lesley Logan 13:54
Yeah, you can take more in. My husband's a musician. That's not me, but I can attribute it to things in my world. I retook a workshop I've taken from this person before, and I thought I was just going to sit there and get reminded of a few quotes I liked from them. Then they said something, and I was like, "What? What is that?" And it was just like, "Oh, I didn't know the thing before that. It wasn't ingrained in me, so I couldn't even pick up on this if I wanted to." It was always there, but I didn't have the capacity to hear it or see it or understand it because I just had to get the muscle memory there so that nuance could even stand out.
Tara Connaghan 14:35
And that takes years. We're in such a culture that everything is convenient. It's quick. Everything's fast. But I don't think there's anything that can replace just time of learning and putting the time in.
Lesley Logan 14:52
Tara, how do you help people do that, though? Because obviously what you do is so unique. But however you help them, we all have to understand that it does take time, and it's hard for adults because there's so much unconscious competence happening because we're in our life. We can drive home without even realizing it. There's just things that we do. It scares the fuck out of me every time. I'm like, "How did I get here? Whoa." How do you remind adults to be patient to go through the different stages?
Tara Connaghan 15:18
It's not easy. None of us like it for anything. I got a sewing machine. I am crap at sewing, because I never did it in school. I did woodwork instead. It just takes it. I just have to remind people it may only be five minutes per day, and then supplement it with a couple of maybe intense weekends or an intense week where you really focus on it, almost like 12-hour days. That really supplements it. But you need the five minutes per day, five to 10 minutes per day. I think, really helps people.
Lesley Logan 15:53
Okay, let's dive into that because I think people think, "Oh, I'll just do this on my day off." But if you just do several hours on one day, it's almost... Do you think it's better if they were to do five to 10 minutes per day for six to seven days is better than one day for two hours?
Tara Connaghan 16:10
Absolutely, 1,000%.
Lesley Logan 16:12
And why? Do we know why?
Tara Connaghan 16:15
There are actually studies that show that because you're building up the muscle memory. You don't build it up in one go. You build it up every day. You don't wash your teeth just once a week.
Lesley Logan 16:27
Right. Right.
Tara Connaghan 16:28
You wash them every day because if
Lesley Logan 16:30
You washed your teeth for two hours once a week, it wouldn't even make up for it. Even though it's like three times the amount you should brush your teeth, it doesn't even make the difference.
Tara Connaghan 16:38
No, it's not going to make the difference because the plaque is already there. It would be too hard to remove it. That's just what it is. And five to 10 minutes, that's nothing.
Lesley Logan 16:47
Right. I think that's the hard part because people go, "That's nothing. So does it even matter?"
Tara Connaghan 16:53
Yeah. So, tomorrow... I'm learning the concertina as well. I do play the fiddle. I've played the fiddle for almost 40 years, but I have a concertina, which is this little kind of hexagon-shaped instrument. I normally have it at my desk, but I'm not at my desk. I'm actually in New York.
Lesley Logan 17:10
Cool. What's a concertina? I gotta look this up. I need a visual.
Lesley Logan 17:14
Concertina.
Lesley Logan 17:16
Concertina.
Tara Connaghan 17:17
Yeah, so, hexagon-shaped.
Lesley Logan 17:21
This is... Oh, that's cool. For everyone who's not Googling this while they're driving, please don't. First of all, they're not cheap. It's like an accordion, but a hexagon has six or seven sides.
Tara Connaghan 17:40
Your fingers are working from both sides.
Lesley Logan 17:43
Yes.
Tara Connaghan 17:44
Yes. So it's very petite and dainty. It's a real kind of woman's...
Lesley Logan 17:50
It's so beautiful. An accordion is not sexy. Nothing's sexy about an accordion. This is quite cute. This looks like the Victorian era.
Tara Connaghan 17:56
Yes. It's very ornate, and designs in it. So I'm learning that now. I had it right beside my computer because you're, especially if you're doing something, and then you need kind of like coffee beans to refresh your brain. So I used to have that, and I'd play for five or 10 minutes. I didn't have access to my concertina for about 15 years because I had lent it to somebody else, and they forgot to give it back to me. Eventually I got it back recently, and I started playing for about five minutes whenever I got bored, well, not bored, but my brain is overworked and overwhelmed and I needed to deep-dive into it for five minutes. The first day I was like, "Oh my god, I can't even remember where the notes are." I was like one-finger typing.
Lesley Logan 18:45
I understand. Yeah.
Tara Connaghan 18:47
Until, after a couple of weeks, he came down to the office and said, "That actually sounded quite good."
Lesley Logan 18:55
Because it came back to you because you just had it. I love what you said, that you had it right next to you. For anything we're wanting to do, my listeners know I was studying the tarot, and unfortunately it got away from me because I had the app, which is great because when I was traveling I couldn't have the cards, but I'm a physical kind of person. So when I was at home, having the cards and the book at my desk, while I'm waiting for the Zoom call to start, I could just read a page. Having those little doses of information actually allows you to take it in. Whereas it's a lot, especially when you're in the incompetence, it's a lot in the brain to do it and you don't retain as much. I'm studying the science of learning right now, I'm really interested in this, and there's a whole lot we have to do self-reflection and self-quizzing. That's actually the best when you're learning anything. You're not waiting for the test to come where you cram, or in music, I guess, the concert to come where you perform. You have to kind of test your skills on your own and then learn from what you don't know.
Tara Connaghan 0:00
Yeah, and I think for joining a session as well, you have to learn to play with other people, and that can be a big learning curve as well, because it might be that you've just started an instrument, so this is totally new. You've got a new instrument. Oh my god. I'm still trying to figure out where the notes are. I'm still trying to figure all this out. You're still kind of incompetent. And you need to learn also how to play with other people if you want to join a session.
Lesley Logan 20:26
Yeah.
Tara Connaghan 20:27
I think those kinds of camps are a great place to do that. They can be big sessions, so you can kind of hide behind people for a while until you get a bit more competency in playing with others because it's a really different skill, being able to listen to yourself while listening to others.
Lesley Logan 20:45
How do you, how do you get the... Because that's a bit of courage and bravery, to go from playing by yourself in your home to, okay, I'm going to take this. What advice do you have for people who... There's embarrassment, there's nervousness. How do you get over yourself enough to go? Because I'm someone who'd be a fly on the wall until I'm shoved off the cliff. That's kind of me. But how do you get yourself ready?
Tara Connaghan 21:06
I think it's a good idea, if you're learning from a class situation where you've got classmates, then maybe your teacher might have a once-a-year or once-a-month or once-a-week session where they encourage you to come, if you want to join a session. It's a very gentle process where you're coming into it in a very gentle way. What I would definitely not recommend you do is go into a session where there are high-level musicians who need something totally different. So if you're a beginner musician, you want to be feeling kind of a belonging. You want to sense this sense of community. A high-level musician who's been playing for 40 years, they already have that. What they want is challenge, and you're not going to challenge them if you're a newcomer. So don't be afraid, or don't be... not afraid, but don't be putting yourself in that position. Don't take it personally, I think is what I'm trying to say.
Lesley Logan 22:01
Well, this makes a lot of sense to me because in life, if you have a skill or there's something you're doing, it's really good to have people who are your equals, so your classmates, like you mentioned. And then there's the people who are below you, in a different level. Playing with people below you builds your confidence because, whoa, I'm not like that anymore, right?
Tara Connaghan 22:19
Yes.
Lesley Logan 22:20
Playing with people who are at the same level as you makes you feel comfortable and, okay, I've got my people. But typically, if you're going to play with people who are above you, you'd be paying to play with them. You're in their workshop or you're in their thing because they need people above them to challenge them and people like them who understand what they need. And if they're going to have people below them, it's because they're teaching them.
Tara Connaghan 22:43
Exactly. And I think it's funny that you should pick that up so quickly because that seems to be something that we've... I suppose we're so close to it, you can't see the wood from the trees when you're so in the middle of it. And so it's only recently that I figured, from conversations actually, that's more of a teaching environment when we're in a session with people that are below us. And that's a very different thing. That's quite draining because you're giving a lot of energy, and you're not.
Lesley Logan 23:10
Getting yourself filled up. There have to be sessions for the person who's more of the expert to be filled up. I get that totally. I teach a lot of students, and I have no problems doing that. But when I am in the workshop to learn, if people bother me to understand, I'm like, "Oh, I'm not in that brain. I'm here." So I find I'm very particular about the places I go to learn in or be challenged in because I want to stay in that frame. And if you are wanting me to teach you in that space, I'm a little bit... Okay, I've got to get my cup filled.
Tara Connaghan 23:45
I suppose I would love to be able to say that certain things in certain situations... I think we are quite welcoming.
Lesley Logan 23:54
Yeah, and that's the hard part because I don't want to stamp on anyone's flowers or anyone's willingness to learn. And I also think they don't understand what they don't... You know what I mean? They don't know that they're just asking a question. And you are an expert, and you are someone who usually teaches. But there has to be a space where you can go be yourself and be challenged.
Tara Connaghan 24:13
Yeah, yeah. I think so. I have found that some people like to shame skilled musicians for having that, and I'm trying to call that out and go, "No, I'm not happy that that is something that should be definitely there."
Lesley Logan 24:26
I think that's interesting, right? What an awareness we can have because it's fine to have the need to have the space to be in your creative space or to not be in teaching mode, to be in play mode or creativity mode. And also, how do we remind people of the rules of the space without hurting their feelings or pissing them off or making them feel like they're stupid? I don't know if you have those in Ireland, but people have these signs in their house, like, "In this house, we believe in science," and things like that. There, we believe in these... When you walk into the space, if these-level musicians are playing, you're free to watch, but please write down all questions and save them for your... You know what I mean? It's okay to be in their presence, of course, and be inspired. But this is when you're allowed to ask the questions. I guess it goes back to the etiquette. It's like having rules for... If you're a house that has no shoes on or shoes off, it's kind of like that.
Tara Connaghan 25:25
Yeah. I suppose it's always being one of those environments that is very spontaneous. So I think when you have a spontaneous environment, the thought of rules makes it really kind of...
Lesley Logan 25:38
I understand. Yeah. Well, Tanya Dalton, we had her on the show, and she talked about when there are boundaries, everyone can be more creative and have more fun.
Tara Connaghan 25:50
Yes.
Lesley Logan 25:51
She explained it, and you guys, I'll put the link in the show notes because I actually don't remember which episode number she is. But she said if there's a school playground and there's no fence, and the teachers tell the kids, "Hey, stay close to the school building to play," you're going to have some kids who literally don't leave the wall. They just play next to the wall. You're going to have some kids who play in the middle, and then you're going to have some kids who are going all the way to the edge because they want to see how far they can go. But if you put the fence up and you say you just have to stay in the fence, then all of a sudden everyone can play. So I guess it's interesting because some people don't want to have rules on things to affect the creativity, but they'll have more creativity if they just have some set rules.
Tara Connaghan 26:35
Yeah, and I think everybody feels safer as well then if there are some sort of boundaries. Especially newcomers can feel safe because they know, "Right, well, this is maybe not the session for me," or "This one is the session for me."
Lesley Logan 26:47
Yeah, because I'm the girl who'd be next to the wall because I don't understand. I don't want to fuck it up, and I don't want to embarrass myself, and I don't want to make someone mad. So I would be the person who doesn't even join any session, even the ones at my level, because I wouldn't... So I think that's where it's important. No matter what the thing is that we're joining or learning, we have to understand the etiquette, but also the people above us have to define that so that we can.
Tara Connaghan 27:11
Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Lesley Logan 27:12
Or at least the host of the place.
Tara Connaghan 27:15
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lesley Logan 27:17
So Tara, your enthusiasm and joy for what you do is so contagious. I really do love it. How did you get to keep your passion for this? Because I have to imagine that in the 40 years of playing music, Irish music hasn't been famous for all 40 years. How did you keep it going? What did you do? Then you're in this new space where you have this podcast. I guess people listening to this have been doing things for 20 or 30 years, and sometimes they wonder if they should keep doing that. Is it worth doing? How do they know when to stop? What advice do you have for that?
Tara Connaghan 27:55
I did have a time in my early 30s, which is almost 20 years ago. god, sorry.
Lesley Logan 28:03
It's all right. I just looked at pictures of myself at 25, and I was like, "Whoa, that was a long time ago."
Tara Connaghan 28:09
When I arrived in New York a couple of days ago, I had a suitcase, and I was trying to walk up the stairs, carry it up the stairs. And this young fella, I think he was probably about 25 or something, said, "Do you want me to help?" And I was like, "No, no, I've got a friend coming. She's going to help me as well." And he said, "Oh, if this was my mother, I would hope somebody would help me." And I was like, "Oh my god!"
Lesley Logan 28:27
He was being so sweet, and also...
Tara Connaghan 28:32
The realization. But of course I could be his mother. But I don't even have kids.
Lesley Logan 28:36
Tara, I understand. I have friends my age who have kids who are in high school, so I was like, "I could have a high schooler."
Tara Connaghan 28:44
Yeah, I could totally have somebody who's gone through college, finished college. Anyway, let's not go there. So in my 30s, I did have a bit of a, wow, I thought I would be somewhere different. I thought things would feel different. There was that kind of realization: Is this it? There was always this kind of, I thought it was going to be different, and I thought it was going to be amazing. I went through maybe not a spiral downwards, but I was just lost for a while. And then, it was kind of a spiral to a couple of things. I had somebody who was really, really close to me pass away, and that person held my future dreams. So that totally took the carpet from underneath me. I was like, "Well, what do I do now?" It was totally the end now. And I think when you get to rock bottom, you go, "What are the things that are actually really important?" That's what I had to do. I just had to go food, water... I mean, we're talking basic. I think I had probably experienced a bit of PTSD at the time, post-traumatic stress disorder, because I couldn't plan ahead. All I could think of was the next hour and what are the basic needs that I need. So food, water, shelter, friendship. And I thought, "You know what? Music is what fills my cup." And so I had to figure out what was the thing that fills my cup? I have loads of interests. What was the one thing that I really wanted? And I think when you get to rock bottom, things become so clear. I'm not advocating for getting to rock bottom, but if you want clarity, you will find it down there.
Lesley Logan 30:37
I think years ago I heard someone say you can't take someone's rock bottom away. You can give advice, but also, sometimes we don't learn what we need to until we are there. Some of us just need to clear everything away. I have to say, I am so grateful for the rock bottom I had because it was, "Okay, I've got nothing. So if I'm going to add to this nothing, it better be something I want." I don't want to add. It was the first time I had a clean slate. I don't want to add stuff I don't want. So I agree with you.
Tara Connaghan 31:11
Declutter.
Lesley Logan 31:12
Yeah.
Tara Connaghan 31:13
It really declutters the mind, and it really focuses on just the important things. Music was the thing that, it's almost like the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just something that I had that was present, that was just filling my cup, as you said. So I kept doing that. Not that I was doing it all the time, but when I needed that sort of, because I went home to my parents' house, and I slept for about six months. I didn't go outside the door. I remember having relations saying, "Oh, you can't do that." And I was like, "Please don't ever tell anybody that they can't take the time that they need to recover because I needed that time." It took a good few years, but I needed the six months of complete and utter sleep. Then it took another couple of years before I was able to get back to being a normal person again. I'd say I'm a huge amount stronger because of it, and just more clear. So.
Lesley Logan 32:12
Yeah.
Tara Connaghan 32:12
Music is just... yeah. And I think every time I'm in a session, the other thing is if I'm playing for money, it's a job.
Lesley Logan 32:20
Yeah.
Tara Connaghan 32:22
So I kind of removed that. Even though I still get paid, I removed the, "Oh, this one is a gig." It's, "I'm going to go and I'm going to play music. Fantastic. If somebody gives me money at the end, great." Sometimes I want to make sure that it's good money at the end, but I looked at it differently. It wasn't for the money. It was for the music, and then somebody gives me money as well, and that's great.
Lesley Logan 32:46
I appreciate you sharing that journey because I think we all look at other people and go, "Oh my goodness, they must have loved this their whole life," and not realize that there are parts of their lives where they loved it, but they didn't get up for six months. Everyone is on an up-and-down journey that hopefully always ends up, but it's going to have its own nuances. And if we don't take the time we need to find what fills our cup, then I don't know that we get to enjoy it. I feel like life is worth enjoying. Yes, sometimes we get paid for things we love, but also we should do things because we love them.
Tara Connaghan 33:26
Yeah, totally. So I think that was how I got out of that sort of, "I'm doing it for the money." I don't know if you've ever read Big Magic.
Lesley Logan 33:37
Obsessed. Great book.
Tara Connaghan 33:39
Fantastic.
Lesley Logan 33:39
I'm not sure I agree with her in the more recent years of life, but I love that book. So, everyone must, required reading. So good. Required reading.
Tara Connaghan 33:51
Yeah. It just gives so much freedom to your creativity as well. It's like, "Oh yeah, that's so cool." It's like it's a muse. You're the host of a creative idea, and you entertain it, or eventually it'll just go, "Look, I'm an idea, and I need to be created. So if you're not going to create me, somebody else will have to do it." Such a great idea.
Lesley Logan 34:14
You guys, if you're wondering what is she saying, you have to go read the book. It's, ideas want to be born, it's Elizabeth Guilbert, I believe that's her name. She wrote Eat, Pray, Love, and she even shares that she still worked as a professor even after she wrote that book, even after it was a bestseller, even after it became a movie. It was years before she thought, "Okay, I can just be a writer for a living." I think that's a really important lesson for all of us who are doing something we're passionate about because the pressure you put on it changes the joy you get out of it, and also what you create.
Tara Connaghan 34:50
Yeah. It's too intimate to be putting pressure on it because I did lose it. So I put my hands on my heart because I feel like it's here. The music, when I play it, it's here. I suppose maybe because it is a fiddle as well, or a violin, but it's here anyway. It's something so close, and I have lost it. I did lose it for a while, and if I lost it again, I don't know if I could survive that second loss.
Lesley Logan 35:17
Yeah. Thanks for sharing that. I think that's really important. Tara, you're so fun. We're going to take a brief break and find out where people can find you, follow you, take sessions with you.
Tara Connaghan 35:26
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 35:28
All right, Tara. Where do you hang out? They can listen to your podcast. Can anyone play Irish music? Tell us everything.
Tara Connaghan 35:36
They can listen to it on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, wherever. It's called In Tune with Tradition. There's also the subtitle, Perspectives on Session Etiquette and Irish Traditional Music. There is a website called Session Etiquette. I also have a tour kind of thing coming up, a private session experience in September 2026, at the end of September. We've got a couple of places left on it. It will be in Ireland. Brilliant. I can't wait.
Lesley Logan 36:07
I feel like September in Ireland is probably good weather.
Tara Connaghan 36:10
Sometimes. Actually, do you know when it's been really good weather? It's April. April for the last three or four years has been really good, really dry, sunny. Then the rest of summer's awful, and around September sometimes it can pick up again.
Lesley Logan 36:23
Feels like Vegas weather, but probably different. April is so beautiful here. Don't take me away, but the summer? Get me out.
Tara Connaghan 36:32
I'm in New York, and it was really, really hot for the last couple of days. Today is nice. It's just perfect.
Lesley Logan 36:38
Yeah. That's an interesting place to be when it's too hot. Okay, we've talked a lot about learning and things like that. You've given us so much already, but what bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps do you have for people to be it till they see it?
Tara Connaghan 36:52
I think they should listen to my podcast, number one. The reason I'm in New York is because it's an award-winning podcast. It has just won some awards.
Lesley Logan 37:01
Get out. Congratulations. That's amazing!
Tara Connaghan 37:06
Yay! So, anyway, but more actionable steps: I think life is short. Just pick the thing that fills your cup and go for it.
Lesley Logan 37:15
Yeah.
Tara Connaghan 37:16
If that's Irish music, fantastic. If it's not, do the thing that makes you really, really just gives you so much joy and fills your cup because otherwise you'll always be trying to fill your cup with something that can't fill, can't do it.
Lesley Logan 37:31
I agree. I think that's so true. Oh my gosh, congratulations on your podcast. That's incredible, you guys. That's not an easy thing to do, especially with a new podcast, so way to go, Tara. I agree. I was just watching a show, and it's clear there are people on the show who don't have anything else. They don't have something that fills their cup. My husband's listening to somebody, and they're... If you don't have something that's a hobby, something that's creative, friends and family, and work that gives you purpose, if you don't have those three things, f you take one of those away, you put too much pressure on the other things, and they're never going to give you the tripod. You're going to fall over. So I feel like that's really important for today. I think we all need that information.
Lesley Logan 38:15
You guys, go listen to Tara's award-winning podcast. Go listen to it, and go figure out if it's... If you don't know what's filling your cup, maybe it's time to start trying new things and be consciously incompetent for a little bit. It'll get better. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Lesley Logan 38:33
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 39:16
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 39:21
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 39:25
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 39:32
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 39:36
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
Lesley gets real about people who police grammar mistakes on social media and what that urge to correct others actually reveals. She makes the case for staying in your own lane, letting go of perfectionism, and minding your own work instead of everyone else's. She rounds out the episode with community wins, a check-in from the tour, and a grounding mantra for the week ahead.
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Episode Transcript:
Lesley Logan 0:00
It's Fuck Yeah Friday.
Brad Crowell 0:01
Fuck yeah!
Lesley Logan 0:02
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 0:47
Hello, Be It babe. How are you? Happy Friday! Welcome to your Fuck Yeah Friday episode. I'm really excited to actually record this because it's taken 17 tries, and I'm currently looking at a blank screen that's supposed to be my notes. But we'll see if it comes up, here we go. Oh my goodness! I don't want my every single "I need a moment" to have to do with technology, but my goodness, technology really wants to be my moment that I need today. It's not, though. So it's middle of August. Thanks for being here. On these Fridays, I just like to be real with you, what's going on in my world, what I get frustrated about, what I'm celebrating, what you're celebrating, because I share your wins and a little mantra to get you on your week. If you are in my business coaching group or my eLevate mentorship, then you know you get to have a moment, but you have to have a win, and it's important to have wins at the end of the week. Just some, and it doesn't mean you completed anything. It just means that you moved the needle forward. You found some aha moment that gave you permission to be more yourself. Something doesn't have to be very big. You'll hear from the listeners who have sent in their wins, which you can too, to beitpod.com/questions. You'll hear that some of these wins are just getting one morsel of a thing done, right?
Lesley Logan 2:00
So before I get into your wins and mine, a thing that I am having a moment around, I really have to be honest, is just people who point out grammar mistakes on social media. Come on, if someone rarely has a grammar error, and then you point it out when they do, don't you just think that's annoying? Between autocorrect and weird thumbs and how you'll pick this word, a different spelling of the same word comes up, unless it's in every sentence someone says or every paragraph, they probably hate that it happened. Guess what? Once it's out there, you can't fix it. It's not in the captions. It's in the thing. You just gotta let it go. So I will say my most recent one. This happened to my own followers told people like, "Come on, this is stupid. Why are you doing this?" They actually kind of beat up on the person a little more than I would have preferred. I wouldn't have done that, but it is just, it's like a little narky. You know what I mean? In a world where there are literal leaders who are killing people, you're gonna tell me that I used the wrong wear? You're gonna tell me I used the wrong wear? It's like I'm not an idiot, and the recovering perfectionist in me is embarrassed. Can we just not? People stop trying to get people to be as perfect as you are holding yourself up to be. That's what that really is. So that is the moment that I was so frustrated about the other day because Jesus, oh my God, total mistake. Yes, I'm embarrassed and also not taking it down because it blew up and did really, really well. So we're just gonna leave it that way. Now every third comment I have, someone telling me it's spelled wrong. Okay, thanks. Oh my God, did you see in the other comments that we already addressed this? I don't know. I think it goes back to last week's thing. Why can't we just stay in your own lane, do your thing, focus on what you're doing, and then if you can't say something nice, just don't say anything at all? I don't know. I see people spell the words wrong too, and guess what I don't do? Tell them. I'm like, you know what? They'll figure it out. It's not necessary. They didn't ask. If they ask, maybe, but they didn't ask. Maybe I'm the only frustrated person by that, but I am.
Lesley Logan 4:11
But my win, my win. We're not done with the tour yet. We have another week. My win is that this is one of the most sold out tours we've ever done. This has been, every tour is so fun. Every tour is its own unique thing. I'm really, really proud of my team. This is a team win because one of our most integral people is on maternity leave, and the team was able to come together, step up, and put this tour out there without that person. That doesn't mean we don't need her. We absolutely do. So hi, Meredith, if you are listening, need you, but that we could do it. Without them is just a sign of how well our team works together and the mission that this is, and how much the attendees want it too. Right? In fact, every single one of you who has attended the tour or shared the tour, you're part of this win. So I'm just so grateful. We have another week left on this tour, and about nine days actually, and I'm having a great time. It's a lot of fun. It's really nice to get out of Vegas in August, and also it's Darla's first tour, so that's the most fun. So that's my win. I'm on tour and having a great time, and we were successful preparing for it.
Lesley Logan 5:17
Your win, time for your win. You guys send these in to me, and then we get to talk about them. This is from @ashwilsonpilates: "Just got full time teaching at a studio I've been working at for the past few months." That's so cool, Ash. You went from part-time to full-time. That's just a massive sign that what you're doing matters, and people want more of it, so I hope you take that and save this win for when you need it because, my goodness, going full-time in teaching is a huge deal, and I'm so excited for you. There're gonna be days when you're like, "What am I doing?" And you'll remember, "Oh my God, I did so well just starting out that they wanted me to be full-time. These clients want me, and what I do matters," and it does. You're amazing.
Lesley Logan 6:02
Your mantra is I appreciate the journey of becoming. I appreciate the journey of becoming. I appreciate the journey of becoming.
Lesley Logan 6:14
Oh babe, this is so fun. I'm so grateful for you. I'm so excited I get to do this podcast with you, and that we get to chat about all these things and share and be part of each other's lives. If you have one to send in that I can celebrate with you, please send it in to beitpod.com/questions. If you have a theme you'd like us to do an episode on, either with an interview, a guest, or a topic, we do solo episodes as well, I want to know. Just send them into beitpod.com/questions. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Lesley Logan 6:40
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review, and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 7:23
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 7:27
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 7:32
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 7:39
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 7:42
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
You can't be it till you see it while your nervous system is running the show. In this part two of the Regulation Series, Lesley gets practical about calming a dysregulated nervous system, walking through top-down tools and bottom-up somatic resets for when your mind won't quiet down. She frames self-trust as the safe place you come back to, and regulation as self-parenting rather than one more thing to discipline yourself into. Whatever your nervous system is carrying today, there is a tool in here to meet it.
If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.
In this episode you will learn about:
Episode References/Links:
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI
DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment
Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment
Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist
Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey
Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/
FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/
Resources:
Follow Us on Social Media:
Episode Transcript:
Lesley Logan 0:00
Something that does help me is a brain dump. I will just sit down and write down all the things that are on my mind because there are open tabs in my brain and they're all running. Your computer runs slower when all your tabs are running.
Lesley Logan 0:39
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 1:22
Hey, Be It babe! Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. We are in our second episode of the Regulation series, so if you have, this is your first time listening to us, hi, welcome, and you should go listen to the first one because otherwise this will make no sense. Or you can listen to this one. You know what? I'm a believer of you doing you. So I'm excited because the last episode we talked about not needing more discipline and not another journal and another plan, but really actually having awareness of when we're dysregulated and regulated. Because when we are dysregulated, we cannot be successful, and when we're regulated, we notice it's not about discipline; it's just about showing up, being yourself, being the version of you you always want to be. Right? You are definitely not able to be it till you see it when you are dysregulated, overwhelmed, stressed out, worrying, spiraling, all that stuff, right?
Lesley Logan 2:07
So, how do we regulate ourselves when life gets lifey? Because let me just tell you, life gets lifey every day. Every day, life gets lifey. I was having a really kind of solid, awesome day, and then I got some bad news, and so life got lifey today, on a day when it should just be chill, as just chill. Tuesdays are chill days for me, right? So how how do we not let our nervous system run the show? Because I mean, let me tell you right now, if I let my nervous system run the show after that news, I would not be recording this right now. That's the for sure. But because I was able to understand how I was feeling, I was able to take a moment for myself. I was able to do the things I need to do, so that I could come back here and go. You know, I can do this right now. I can do this right now because this matters, too. This matters as much as the other thing that's bothering me matters, right? And I mean, my goodness, every time we open up our Instagrams or emails, there's something there to derail how we feel about ourselves, about what's possible, all that stuff.
Lesley Logan 3:02
So now, since we know what was keeping us stuck, how do we actually shift our biology, our brain, our mood in the middle of a crazy day? It might happen multiple times. How do we do that? So the thing I want to take away from this episode is regulate first, decide second. So you know this. I know you know this. I know this. I know you know this. But just in case you need the reminder, we never send an email or make a pivot or critique ourselves in a dysregulated state, right? When you, have you ever? Oh my God! Why this? What the fuck is this happening? And why is that happening? Why is this person doing this?
Lesley Logan 3:39
And you go to respond, and you you know, it's not the response you want to do. You send it, and you already feel regretful because that's not how you are. It's not how you want to be perceived. It's not how you want people to receive that information. So we need to notice, become aware, and then regulate ourselves before making the next decision. I will also say I heard this other thing that could be really helpful is the instant reaction we have is kind of a pattern how we were raised, trained, the thing that got us to adulthood that made us feel safe, and then oftentimes we're just ah I haven't gotten over that I haven't I still have that problem but actually the second thought you have is the person you want to be. It's the person how you want to react. And so if you can, instead of getting stuck on, I don't want to react, that I hate that I'm reacting like that. And instead you go, "Oh, there's just that old brain, my old thing, trying to run the show." Hold on, I do this one thing over here, and then I'm back to being the person I am, the person I want to be receiving that email, the person I want to be receiving that news, right? So, regulate first, decide second.
Lesley Logan 4:47
So we need to we need to talk about your internal landscape, right? We got to talk about your autonomic nervous system. So I'm not a scientist, but a simple explanation of our default survival mode. These are simple. Okay, simple. But you've got blazer, the fight or flight, right? You move fast, you breathe shallow, you get a little snappy. That's you. Something happens, you're ready to take action. You're ready to kick some ass. You also can be a freezer, right? You can freeze or fawn, so you can go numb, right? You can say yes to things you hate, like a fawn response. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I did that. It's not you. Calming the person down, but taking yourself down with it, right? So we got to understand that's how things can react, right? Those are the simple versions. And if you are having hormonal shifts, then your threshold for stress is lower. And so, things that didn't bother us 10 years ago could bother us now, and that's okay, right? If you are dealing with just other health stuff, sometimes you get activated a little more quickly. Your threshold is lower. So, those of you who already have a lot on your plate, you know, it can be harder to stay regulated. So I just want. I think it's really important to map out what's your internal landscape. What is your go-to when things aren't going well, right? What is the way that you tend to go?
Lesley Logan 6:11
In the last episode, I talked about how I will tend to worry about things I can't control, and then focus on all the things we haven't done either. So I'll just like go, and that's not working, and that's not working. That's not working. And Brad, hold on. We were talking about this one plugin that doesn't work, and now you're talking about 10 things we're still working on. Why are we catastrophizing? That's me, right? Really important that once we once you take a second to go, who am I? How do what? What are the signs that I'm not regulated? So that then you can build your regulation toolkit, right? Your real life regulation toolkit. So these are some tools that could work for you. They might not work for you, but I'm giving a few, right? So and if you come up with your own, let the Be It Pod know, so we can share it with other people on FYF episode. But you can have something like a more like a top down tool, a mental cognitive tool. Some people like time boxing, so worry windows, so this is the idea of something comes up that you want to worry about, and you actually just go, "Oh, I'm going to put that at the 1 p.m. I can worry about that at 1 p.m. but right now I'm working on this.
Lesley Logan 7:11
That is the idea of parking the car or driving away, postponing the thing, or park and then and and worry, but don't don't try to do think two things at the same time. The thing you're working on and worry. So have some worry windows. That isn't something I could do because I have ADHD and sometimes I you know love to fuck around my calendar. So that's not for me. But it might be for a worry window. And then maybe you don't have it scheduled to worry. But maybe when you start to worry, you're like, you know what? This is gonna be a worry window. So I'm gonna worry about everything right now. I'm going to get all on the table, get out, get out of my heart, get out of my mind. I'm going to set a timer, and now it's done. Right? Something that does help me is a brain dump. So I will just sit down and write down all the things that are on my mind because they're open tabs in my brain, and they're all running, and they are, you know, your computer runs slower when all your tabs are running. So I will go. Okay, hold on. I got too much in my mind. What is everything I think I need to get done? And then you look at the list. holy fuck! That's so many things. No wonder. No wonder I felt dysregulated. No wonder I feel overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. There's too many things. I had a girlfriend who took all the things that she had to get done and she gave it to her chatbot, and her chatbot goes, "Well, no wonder you're exhausted and feeling overwhelmed. This is enough work for three years."
Lesley Logan 8:27
So those were top down. Here's some bottom-up tools. This is more somatic, right? That's stuff you can do that's mental, cognitive, but also you can actually take action on it. Bottom-up tools are for more body. I think these are really great for when the mind really won't quiet down. So there's a five-second psychological sigh. We talked about this a couple times on the pod. It's two quick inhales through the nose and a long exhale through the mouth. It's just in, in, out, in, in through the nose, out, right? Oh my gosh! You do that a couple times, and it literally resets how your body is. If you're weight training and you do a heavy weightlifting set, if you do that afterwards a couple times, it'll reset the whole body. It's crazy. Also, you can do this: if you take your index finger and thumb together and you breathe in, it's more chest. If you take your middle finger and your thumb and you breathe in, it's more diaphragm. If you take your ring finger and your thumb and you breathe in, it's more stomach. And if you take your pinky and your thumb and you breathe in, it's more root, right? So if you find yourself in that dysregulated state and you're taking short breaths, you can go to your pinky and your thumb and just ground yourself down. Ooh, takes so little time. You can do it in one breath. All right.
Lesley Logan 9:38
Another thing you can do is just change the physical temperature, so cold water to the face, right? I actually do love my cold plunge. It is set for a woman in perimenopause. It's not 32 degrees, but I do like it because I don't wake up going, "Oh my god, it's rainbows and butterflies! I'm so excited!" I never get enough sleep. I wish I could get eight hours. I can be in bed for eight and I get six and a half. My body just has a really hard time. Seven is really a sweet spot for me. But I still don't wake up going, "Oh, life is great." But I get in that cold plunge, and okay, I can take on this day. I can take on this day, right? Weighted blankets, a firm hug, right? So I have an eye mask that is weighted that I can just put on my eyes. I don't take naps, but I can just put it on my eyes. Or I have a weighted blanket—we have a link for that that I can find for you guys.
Lesley Logan 10:29
But I have this weighted blanket that I just love. I could just wrap it around me, and I'm okay. It's a big hug, because what I don't want when I'm dysregulated is a hug from somebody else, because I don't want their energy. And then this other one I think could be really helpful: it's like a microdose concept. A lot of people think, "I need a spa day, that'll relax me." Oh my god! I'll tell you right now, what won't relax me is a full spa day. I'll be like, "There's so many things I need to be doing right now. I should be doing these things." So when I'm dysregulated, a spa day is not what I need. What I really have found to be helpful is just taking 90 seconds of intentional breathing between calls, walking around my block, it's a little hard in the summertime, but fall through spring, I can. It takes me 12 minutes to walk around my block, 15 if I take the dog, because they like to smell things. Even on the way out the door: "This day sucks." By the time I get around the corner: "All right, I got this. Right, I got this." You just need some things. I have a Sensate. It's this really cool tool that you can put on your chest, and it really helps regulate your nervous system. There's different Hrz of music you can play. I have found that if I work with this one type of music on, I stay quite focused and a little upbeat, so it keeps me positive. I love having it in the background; I get so annoyed when I have to turn it off. So I find that that can be really helpful when sometimes it's not like you're not doing the tools, but there's just so much life lifeing that you need regular, regulating moments, right? Because you're waiting for results from this thing, and you're anticipating this thing, and then there's this going on, and there's that going on. There's so much going on. It's not just one thing once a day that helps you; it's 10 little things that just keep bringing you back. And so this brings us to self-trust, your future self, your Be It Till You See It self. When you take the time to listen to yourself, you can actually hear your intuition, right? You can hear it, and so if you make listening to your intuition a priority, you'll actually want to do it more. And the thing is that when your brain is buzzing with anxiety, that intuition gets drowned out. It sounds like static, and it's not there. So I would really encourage you to spend time trying to hear your inner voice, your inner intuition, so that you get so obsessed with how helpful that is that you'd rather spend time there than in the dysregulated state that probably feels safe because that's probably how you were raised and that felt safe to you. For me, I know that I will do whatever it is I said I was going to do, not because I'm disciplined, but because I have a history of achievements that I have done because I did the thing that I said I was going to do. And so what I will say is, if you haven't taken time to do a data dump of just how much you have achieved and how much of the things you said you would do that you did do, you need to do that because if you don't, then you don't have self-trust. And if you don't have self-trust, you can't become a safe place for yourself. So no wonder you feel dysregulated. No wonder you don't feel successful. No wonder you think you need more discipline, because you haven't taken the time to honor all of the things that you did. We had a really great guest about resume building, and she talked about making sure you're writing down your achievements. We have FYFs on this podcast. You're supposed to send them in, and if you're not going to send them in, at least write them down. Write your wins down, right?
Lesley Logan 14:05
My girlfriend wrote down her wins every single week to put them in a jar, and at the end of the year, she took out all 52 and read them, right? And some of them were, oh my god, I forgot I did that. Whatever you need to do to build self trust, you have to do because without that, it's really hard to regulate because you don't have a safe place to come back to, and I'll just say it's really hard to be it till you see it if your current nervous system can't handle baseline stress. So, if you are in a space where just your baseline stress is a lot for you, I really encourage you to take some time to get honest about what is it that you are really responsible for. What can we let go of? What can you say? I know I said yes to this, but I need to delay that. What can we postpone? What boundaries can we put in place so you have a container of stress that you can actually handle? Life is. Stressful. Stress also builds diamonds, guys. So stress is not bad. Stress also builds stronger bones. Stress is how you build stronger muscles. So stress is not bad, but we need to get your nervous system to a space that can handle your baseline stress. And then when it comes to being it till you see it, taking the time to understand who is a version of you that you want to be, and how do they handle it? What do they do? What actions do they take? Can you take any of those actions right now? Can you do a version of that right now? We can't do all of that, but you can do a version of it. If you think that when you have more money, you'll take time off, that's a lie. You're telling yourself there are rich people who never stop working all the time. Have you watched the White Lotus? The Thai, the Thailand one is perfect example of that. Right, these people couldn't get rid of their cell phones. So I just want to say, if you think when I have this, then I'll have less stress and I'll be more regulated, more relaxed. That's not true. To practice for it right now, and sometimes it means saying no. Sometimes it means not talking to some people. Sometimes it means just taking a break. It does until you can get you got to know yourself. You have to have self trust to get to be able to be it till you see it. So, what I like to say is, what's one thing in this episode that you can take action on right now that will actually feel good to you and doesn't feel overwhelming? Is it the worry box? Is it the brain dump is it making a list of all the things that are going on right now that you're supposed to be doing and that you're not, and then seeing what you can get rid of, which you can just go, I can't do that right now. Is it taking time to get back to your inner voice? What is it that you are? Can't do all. Don't tell me I'll do that one too. I'm gonna do that one too. You're just going to overwhelm yourself, babe. You're just going to dysregulate yourself in trying to regulate yourself. So let's not do that. It's also something I really think is important: is regulation is an act of self-parenting, not a chore. It's not a task. It's just taking care of yourself. One other little tidbit I want to give you is maybe what you need to do is just set an alarm three times a day. That ask yourself, "How am I feeling right now? How am I feeling right now? Am I feeling? Do I feel good right now? Do I feel overwhelmed right now? Do I feel excited right now? Do I feel overwhelmed right now. I feel regulated, dysregulated. Just notice that maybe at the end of every day you feel dysregulated. Okay, that's an interesting pattern. That's good awareness. So what's happening between the last time when you felt good and the end of the day? What are you doing too much of? What are you forcing yourself to do?
Lesley Logan 17:45
Whether you have ADHD, perimenopause, whether you're in the sandwich generation, there are always tools, but you have to know which tool works best for you. You cannot always bring a hammer to everything. Sometimes we need a drill. Sometimes we need a screwdriver. Sometimes we need a crane. Sometimes we need cement. So, what do you need? Take time this week to figure that out. Otherwise, just taking more advice from all the other people is just gonna overwhelm you and put you in a dysregulated state when you're trying to get better. Isn't that silly, to get dysregulated trying to get self-help? But it happens all the time. It happens all the time with my perfectionists and overachievers, my people pleasers, my firstborn parentified daughters. I see you. We're not trying to be monks. We're just trying to be aware. It's our job to figure out what helps us feel good and helps us take on what we want to be, what we want to do, so we can Be It Till You See It. Thank you for watching. I hope this is helpful. Let me know what your takeaways are. Send this to a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Lesley Logan 18:53
TThat's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 19:35
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 19:41
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 19:45
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 19:52
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 19:56
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
In part one of the Regulation Series, Lesley Logan reframes a belief many high achievers cling to: that success comes from more discipline. She explains why feeling stuck is often a biological state rather than a character flaw, and how learning your regulated and dysregulated patterns can affect your decisions. Drawing on perimenopause, late-diagnosed ADHD, and her own overachiever tendencies, she shows how guarding what you let in, from your feed to other people's chaos, keeps you steady.
If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.
In this episode you will learn about:
Episode References/Links:
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI
DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment
Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment
Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist
Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey
Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/
FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/
Resources:
Follow Us on Social Media:
Episode Transcript:
Lesley Logan 0:00
What if success isn't about discipline? What if we didn't actually need to get more discipline and buckle down and get everything right? What if that wasn't what we needed? What if actually what we needed is just some more regulation?
Lesley Logan 0:17
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 1:00
Hey, Be It babe. What if success isn't about discipline? What if we didn't actually need to get more discipline and just buckle down and get everything right? What if that wasn't what we needed? What if actually what we needed is just some more regulation?
Lesley Logan 1:21
Hi, I'm Lesley Logan. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast. I am doing a solo episode this week, and it's about regulation. And this comes actually because we've got some great episodes coming out where we're talking about midlife, perimenopause, just all the things that make life life. But I'm increasingly aware of all the podcasts I've done where people ask me what success means to me, and it's really funny because whenever I answer, I'm like, "Oh, I'm doing that right now. Success is being in control of my own schedule." And really, if we think about it, success is just being aware of how we feel, right? And so, look, I will say I was a hustler. I've been someone who's been busy my whole life. As a kid, I remember when my speech therapist met with me, and they were like, "Okay, we want to work with you." I was like, "Oh, I couldn't possibly work with you. I have sewing classes on these days. I have dance class on these days. I have gymnastics on these days. I have softball on these days, I have church." All the things, right? This was the second grade. What are you, about eight years old? And I was so in control of my schedule. And then in high school, I had a job as soon as they let me have a work permit. So I was in sports, I had a job, and I was taking AP classes. Always been a busy person. And what happens is you go through your life, and then systems don't work anymore. The thing is that what we know is that after 36, you're probably in some perimenopausal state. So my lovelies who are younger, yes, it's coming. Those of you who are on the other side, hey, way to go! But things change, and we have an episode on astrologically about how things change, too. And the thing that's so weird about being at a certain age is that you can have achieved so much, and then you can still blame yourself for having not enough discipline, or lacking discipline, or lacking organization, willpower, or motivation when you feel stuck, or hit a wall, or feel overwhelmed. And then what happens is we want to go buy another planner, or we sign up for another course, or we think we just need to wake up earlier, or we go into this weird shame cycle. And then that kind of feels good. I remember someone showed me a meme: "I'm amazing," and then it goes, "I suck. This sucks. I can't do this. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm amazing," right? It's like this creative's cycle. And the reality is sometimes we do that. "Okay, all this stuff is going wrong. I just lack discipline. I'm gonna get another planner. I'm going to sign up for these things.
Lesley Logan 4:02
I'm going to do this," and, "Okay, now I feel better," because we took some action, and action always brings clarity, so it does make things feel better. But it doesn't actually, it just becomes part of this cycle that will just keep repeating itself because it's not about the discipline, right? This is not a character flaw you have. When we go into these spirals, it's often just a biological state. It's a dysregulated state, right? And I wanted to say, we will talk about this more, but I am not suggesting that I am regulated all the time. I would not say that, but I do want to acknowledge that awareness is key, and being aware of when these things are happening is the first thing you can do, right? So I'm teaching people how to teach Pilates for the first time, and some people already have been teaching a little bit, but now they're going through comprehensive training with me, and you can't know all that stuff, I mean, I can talk to you about it, but first you just have to be aware that that is the sidekicks and what you're seeing happen. You have to start there, right? So that's where we're gonna start.
Lesley Logan 5:09
There are two versions of you, my love. There is a regulated you, and that you, you know that you, that's the you that is calm and decisive, that does take the messy action or the first next step. And it's almost like people are throwing tennis balls at you and you're whacking them back, right? Whacking them back. I love a regulated me. I'm like, "Woo! My inbox is at zero. You need that? I'll get that to you, no problem." I don't go, "Oh my god, I need that thing right now." I'm like, "Oh yeah, no problem. Here you go. Here's this. How about I get you these things?" The regulated me is not delulu, but definitely at ease, able to take on hard things, excited by what I'm saying yes to, not annoyed by requests from people that are last fucking minute. The regulated me is like, "Oh, you want this? I can take this on. Oh yeah, no, I'll go do that. Oh, I'll do seven more new things." The regulated me just feels at ease with things and doesn't have this like "what the fuck," right? It's so funny when my husband freaks out about the internet in his office, and I'm like, "Oh my god, can you calm down? I can hear it across the house." And then of course there's the other side, right? There's a dysregulated you. There's a dysregulated me. The one that gets overwhelmed, trapped in task paralysis, mindlessly scrolling, or oversnacking, or doing seven other things besides the thing you need to do, or I'm the one yelling, "Why is this computer not working?" And so, can you think about a time like that? I'll just say, when I get dysregulated, a few things happen all at the same time: my sleep goes bad, and then because my sleep goes bad, I don't really feel good in my movement, and so I tell myself, "Oh, I don't need to move because I didn't sleep very well." That's probably true, but then I'll just start work early. Wrong, wrong, always the wrong answer. I should not do that. I should do something else that is for me to regulate myself so that when I do go to work at the normal time, I would actually see all the things as the regulated version of me, right? But of course, now we're tired. Now we didn't fill our cup, and now we're seeing things and it's like, "Why doesn't this person understand that? Why is this why it's gone?" When you feel yourself like, "Why are they? Why is that person? Why is this person?" When you're upset in the car in traffic, it's a dysregulated you, babe, right? And it's not that you need more discipline.
Lesley Logan 7:30
No, it's a biological state, and what we need is to figure out what our regulated and dysregulated states look like, feel like, sound like, smell like, just noting the things, right, so that we can be aware. Because until we are aware, we can't change anything, right? And I just want to also add, my loves who are getting late diagnosed ADHD: hello, I see you. Late diagnosed auDHD. The reality is I thought I was going crazy. I was like, "Why all of a sudden so frustrated by all these things? Why am I getting irritated about this thing? Is this perimenopause? Because this sucks." And when I found out, it's like, "No, this is my brain's operating system." My ADHD people, you will just go buy another journal. That is not the next thing you should do because you've got a stack of them you don't use, but you're like, "Oh, what a pretty journal that is." I have pretty journals that are just for decor, I don't even try to write in them anymore. I am aware that I'm buying them just for the look of it. But our nervous system is functioning differently and it does things outside of what we often desire, like a dopamine high. I will tell you right now, there's a lot of things that I do just for the dopamine of it all, and having awareness around that really does help. But our brain is also three steps ahead of everyone, right? Like my psychiatrist said, "I can help you focus, but I can't keep you from saying yes to things you don't have time for." And so, really understanding yourself is one of the most important things I could say you need to do in order to feel successful, right? Because again, we could define success as whatever it is. But if you are dysregulated, you're always going to feel like you're not successful, right? If you're unaware of how you operate and what you need, right? So systems really, really work, my ADHD people. I know you don't want them, but they really, really work.
Lesley Logan 9:24
But also, even if you don't have ADHD, if you are balancing perimenopause with kids and your aging parents, and you run your own business, or you work for a high-stress business, or all of us in this life, there's a lot of life going on. And I just want to say, I don't have children, and my parents are independent right now, so I have more time than my friends who are older than me who don't have kids, but their parents are aging and have more needs. My friends are in a different place in their life about what they're thinking about and planning for versus me. They are getting ready for retirement; I am still building that. So we often compare ourselves to other people in our life, and we have to be really mindful of that, right? I also don't get to blame myself, "Well, you don't have kids, so you should have time for this." That's not healthy either, my loves who don't have children. We have to be honest, all of us have so many different responsibilities, and if we are operating from a regulated state when we're answering questions or answering requests, we will actually give a better answer to those things so that we actually can stay regulated. But when we are in dysregulation and trying to do all these things, one, we're not doing it out of a place of love. That is for sure not happening. There is no love in a dysregulated state, and we start to just get overwhelmed by the mundane, the things that we have to do every day anyway, right? So I just want to say that because I know that there's a lot of people who just have a lot, and they're like, "Okay, I just need one more thing that will make this easier." There probably isn't, but if you can be aware of what you need to do to feel like you're coming from a regulated state, then you are going to be able to make decisions from a better place. And sometimes those decisions are to say no, right?
Lesley Logan 11:11
And then those of you who love Pilates, I do want to bring a little Pilates analogy here. When we do our Pilates, if we are just doing choreography, that will be like a dysregulated state. For example, you're doing the 100 and the carriage is bouncing everywhere, or you're on the mat and your head is bouncing everywhere. That is not regulated. That is not connected. But you're doing the 100 and the carriage doesn't move, or you're doing the 100 and everything feels strong. It's hard. Life is hard, but it feels possible, and I think that that is where I'm hoping we can all wrap our brains around. Life isn't going to feel easy and then hard and then easy and hard. It can actually feel hard all the time, but possible, like you're in control of how you feel and how you operate in that, right? So I've been mentioning regulate and dysregulate, but maybe we need to talk about what it looks like. A lot of people might think dysregulated is just a temper tantrum, and I have those. Sometimes I'm like, "I just want to have a temper tantrum like a three-year-old. There's something that feels really good about screaming right now." But it also can be hyperarousal, like fight or flight, right? Compulsively overworking or micromanaging people, or having this invisible clock of anxiety, you're feeling rushed to do things, but you made up the deadline, or there is no deadline. I will also say, if you read The Big Leap, we talk about that book a lot on this podcast, Episode 400 is the author, when I am dysregulated, I will tend to worry about things I have no control over, and then I will also look for all the things that haven't been done. These are all bad, by the way: "That's all going to happen, and none of this is done." None of those things are done, but that doesn't have anything to do with what could go wrong here, and has nothing to do with the thing we need to work on, right? But I will just pile it on. You could have hypoarousal, though, that's a freeze or fawn state. Procrastination disguised as researching, or people-pleasing to avoid conflict, or taking up a couch state, right, and going, "Oh, I'm just percolating." So you can be dysregulated and look calm, but really you're not working on the thing you want to be doing, right? Does that make sense?
Lesley Logan 13:31
So I sometimes will play a video game when I am feeling out of sorts because there's something about moving these colors around that helps bring my heart rate down and bring me into a different place, and then I can go, "Okay, hold on. What am I avoiding?" So I just want to say it's okay to end up doing those things, but being aware that what you're doing is what you're doing is really, really important. I think a lot of times we go through life very unaware, right? In Pilates, if I tell someone to pull their shoulders back and they're as far back as they can go, that person is unaware that their shoulders are very much forward, and they don't have the ability to pull them back. So I have to first make them aware of what back means because they think back is what they're doing, but it's not. And then I have to help them, right? And there's a perfectionist shutdown cycle that also happens, right? You set some impossible standard, hi, I see you, it's this all-or-nothing mindset, then you can't meet it, then you panic, and then you just shut down and give up. And you often don't tell anybody about that thing that you're going to do, because then you can go through the cycle and you don't have to let anyone know. Yeah, I see you. I've been there. I understand. "I'm gonna go to the gym every single day." Then the first day you hit traffic, there's a new construction site, you get there and you forgot your pants, so now you can't do anything, and you're like, "This didn't work at all."
Lesley Logan 15:11
And then you shame and blame yourself, then you have a shit day, and you didn't do enough reflection on how to solve the problem for tomorrow. So then tomorrow comes, and you're like, "I can't do it. It's not fun." So here's what we have to do: we actually have to redefine the goal of what we're trying to achieve in regulation, and also probably what success is for us, right? So I wanted to say that being regulated does not mean that we are a monk who never gets upset, that is crazy and unattainable. It's unattainable. Come on, unattainable, right? I have seen monks, and I am impressed by them, but you guys, they have nothing else to do but be regulated and calm as fuck. They have nothing else to do. Someone else makes sure that they are fed. Someone makes sure that they have clothing. Someone makes sure that they have a roof overhead. They have nothing to do but pray and meditate. You, my love, are not a monk. You have so many things to do on top of it. So it's not about being someone who never gets upset.
Lesley Logan 16:14
And it's also important that we talk about success and being regulated as not the absence of triggers. I don't like when people say, "You triggered me," because that's not real unless someone actually knows what your triggers are and does it on purpose. But yes, you can be activated. That's how my therapist would call it:, activated over triggered. But you can be activated by something I say or do, and that doesn't mean you are unsuccessful or that you're not a regulated person. No, it's actually the speed at which you acknowledge it and then recover, right? Today I had some bad news that came before I hit record on this, and it really sent me into a state, and I saw myself wanting to spiral worse than the thing that I was made aware of, right? And I was like, "Hold on, hold on, we don't have to go there. That has nothing to do with the thing that's making us sad right now, and we can feel those feelings, take a moment, and think of all the things we can do to maybe be part of solving that problem." And also, it wasn't my problem to solve, so I really actually just have to feel my feelings and send some good hope, and then I have to go back to the thing, right? Because if I let this thing derail my whole day, then I'm even more behind. And then what am I going to do? Probably go through that shame perfectionist cycle, right? Now, if, what was going on, I had control of taking action and taking action would be the step to take. And I might still be behind, but I actually can acknowledge that was because I was taking action to solve the problem. But it's the speed at which you actually acknowledge the difference, right? I have somebody in my mentorship program who's like, "I want to stop negative self-talk." You're probably not going to stop that, but what you can do is get faster at catching that you are doing it, right? So how long does it take you? Right now, is it taking you 20 minutes, 10 minutes to realize you're doing some negative self-talk? Okay, can we get that to be a little shorter, and then a little shorter, and then eventually you say the first line and you're like, "Shut up!" Right, that kind of thing. How quickly can you recover if you know what your activators are? What boundaries can you put in place? Can't put boundaries in place? That person or that thing is going to activate you. Okay, how quickly can you acknowledge that and go through recovery so that it doesn't derail you, so it doesn't put you in a dysregulated state? It can still upset you, can still frustrate you, you can still feel your feelings. But to literally take you off your course, my love, that's such a bummer, right? That'd be such a bummer because then the things that you're here on this planet to do, you won't be able to do, right?
Lesley Logan 18:44
There's another way to redefine the goal. It's called the gateway effect. You cannot access creativity, strategic decision making, or genuine confidence when your body thinks a tiger is chasing it. Our lizard brain goes into flight or fight, or is searching out for a tiger that's gonna eat it. When that's where your brain is at, you can't be creative. Impossible! You're trying to survive, trying to survive. So I see this a lot. At the time that I'm recording this, there's a lot of people who are upset in my industry about something that was posted that I know nothing about, nor did I seek out because I do not care, because going and seeking that out would just dysregulate me. Of course I would get upset by what I saw, and then it would make me sad about people, and then it would make me worry about how this could negatively affect my business, and then it would make me worry about my financials, and then it would make me worry about my future, and then it would make me go, "Why am I even trying this new thing when people could be so shitty about it?" So I don't go look at that stuff, but I was made aware. And the thing that I found was that so many people were fighting me on seeing the thing because I wrote this post about being in a state of practice and not judgment, knowing why you teach and not caring who is the person who trained you. And I noticed how many people wanted to fight me on how it needs to be louder for those people who need to hear it. I'm like, "Well, they don't want to hear it. They're in a state the don't want to hear. Why would they listen to me? They don't want to be there. They want to be in their awful world." And it's interesting that you want to be in that awful world with them. You're letting them do that to you when you could just put blinders on and go, "That's for those people over there." That seems so crazy. Why would I even give them any attention when I have an impact to make over here?
Lesley Logan 20:32
So if you keep opening up your socials and the things that you see are causing your brain to go into "a tiger is chasing me," you've got to change your algorithm, my love. That world is shit, right? I get that, and you know what? I really struggled in the last couple of years with promoting things that will help people because there are people dying, there's genocides happening all the time, and so every time I open my phone, "This person fucking did this. These people died." It's not that I don't care about that stuff; it's that I have to make sure I only see that stuff after I've done the things that I can do, because I actually don't get to decide who the leaders are in those cases, because I voted as hard as I could, you know, and I have to go, "What can I do?" So I walk dogs for a shelter. I stay informed in politics, but before and after work only, so that I do not feel like a tiger is chasing me, right? I think it's just really important to understand, babe: I don't think you need more discipline. I think you need to be aware of when you're being dysregulated and what's dysregulating you, so that you can do the things you want to do.
Lesley Logan 21:46
So on our next episode, we are going to do some practical regulation and some self-trust. You know I always like to do information and then strategy, so that's what I'm gonna do. So my love, until Thursday, can you do me a favor and just notice your states throughout the day? Notice when you feel it's so easy to tackle that inbox, and when it feels so hard. Just notice. Don't do anything about it, just notice. My love, that's your practice on being a recovering overachiever. All right. Please do me a huge favor: if our episodes are helping you in any way, can you please share them with a friend who needs to hear it?
Lesley Logan 22:23
Leave a review, tag me in sharing it so I can see what you loved about it. Whatever it is, it would really mean the world to me. And if you want to support this podcast in any way aside from leaving a review or sharing with a friend, you can be an OPC member. Yep, that's one of the best things you could do, because at OPC, we are a place where you get to practice moving your body, pouring into yourself, listening to it, understanding when you feel great, and just getting to know yourself so much, being curious, being in community, having some accountability, not more discipline, having fun, finishing optional. So go to onlinepilatesclasses.com to check out our membership options. And if that doesn't work for you, then thanks for being here. Thanks for being you. Thanks for downloading this episode. Thanks for listening all the way through. You're amazing. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Lesley Logan 23:13
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 23:55
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 24:00
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 24:05
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 24:12
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 24:15
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
Protecting your attention is not the same as not caring; it's what keeps the work you love possible. Lesley Logan opens August from the road with an honest look at the fighting that keeps breaking out in the Pilates industry, and why she keeps it out of her feed on purpose. She explains what gets lost when instructors tear each other down instead of pointing clients toward each other's strengths. She also shares the response to her teacher training announcement, a listener win over procrastination, and this week's mantra.
If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.
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Episode Transcript:
Lesley Logan 0:00
It's Fuck Yeah Friday.
Brad Crowell 0:01
Fuck yeah!
Lesley Logan 0:02
Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained 1000s of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 0:48
Well, hello, BE IT babe. How are you? Happy Friday! Oh my god, it is August. Oof! I'm on tour right now. And if you're new to this podcast, hi! On Fridays, we keep it short. We keep it sweet. It's a way for those who listen to feel like we have some time together, and I get to share wins of yours. You get to hear some wins of mine, and you also get to, I don't know, hopefully feel like you're not alone in some things. So, if you are in our communities for eLevate or for our Agency, we have an "I Need a Moment," and you're allowed to have a moment, but you have to have a win if you have a moment. And I am very notorious for coming in after you've poured your whole heart out and no win was posted. I'm like, "You know, where's the win?" And it's not because we're looking for toxic positivity, but it's because we are trying to see that even in the muck there is a lotus flower.
Lesley Logan 1:35
So, at the time that I'm recording this, there's this big thing going on that I continue to be made aware of, even though I changed my algorithm a long, long, long time ago to not see a lot of Pilates stuff. So if that shocks you, it's not because I don't care. It's because I care so much that when I see negative crap on the internet, it just makes me sad. It makes me not actually want to do the thing that I am here to do on this planet, and so I just don't. I don't deal with it. And I have some really great friends who are also in the industry who also have their algorithms set that way. So if you're seeing that me and some of these people are not participating in this debate or didn't participate in the stuff going on last month, it's not because we don't care. It's because we intentionally don't let that stuff in because it would keep us from loving what we do. And so the thing is, I'm actually just so tired. I've been teaching Pilates for almost 20 years, and every couple of years there's this big hoopla of how not good enough some people are, and how much of assholes other people are, and blah, blah, blah. And then we act like it's only in our industry that this happens. Bullshit happens everywhere. People tear each other apart all the fucking time. You all know something? This is why a bunch of stock market bros own a bunch of Pilates studios, because we're all busy tearing each other down instead of focusing on what we're really great at and then making sure that we know who's really great at things we're not, and then sharing that with other people. That's what I have to say about that. So I'm just tired of it. I'm so over it. And if you're, you know, this is where I'm voicing myself.
Lesley Logan 3:07
But my win, since I'm not going to leave you with that, if you're like, "What is going on in the Pilates industry?" It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter what it is because in two years it'll be happening again, something similar and not the same at the same time. But the reality is people want us to fight with each other because then we are not busy focusing on making the impact we want to make, which would actually change people's lives and also yours at the same time.
Lesley Logan 3:31
So my win is that last month I announced my teacher training program on UpLift publicly. I announced it on Instagram and it got so much love. Like even with all the shit that was going on in the Plaza industry, like my post about my teacher training program got so much love. So not a single person going, "Who the fuck do you think you are? It's only people saying, "Like I'm so glad you're doing this. Finally, a program I can refer people to. I want in on this. I want to learn this. I want to do it. And it just made me so happy because that's not at all what I expected. I kind of was just making the announcement to make the announcement. To be completely honest, I did not expect hundreds of people to go on the wait list. So I'm just well pleased as punch. I really, really am.
Lesley Logan 4:15
Okay. So, oh, if you want information on it, you can get on the waitlist at xxll.co/uws. If you have any problems with that, there is an internet provider that can suck it because they are assholes. It's this one internet provider that drives me crazy when it comes to my short links. And so, if you have the internet provider, hit me up. I have a special link just for you. It's just not very pretty.
Lesley Logan 4:38
All right, let's get into your win. Your win first one up is gonna be from @hopesewell, " Marked some things off my to-do list that I've been procrastinating on." That is massive. That is so massive. When I knock something off a to-do list that I've been procrastinating on, I am like the most proud of myself. And also, sometimes because of my ADHD, I realize, well that didn't take very long at all. It was on my wait list longer than the half life that it took me to do it. So I feel you, Hope. Thank you so much. I know you're a big OPC fan, and I get to see you on the summer tour. I'm so, so excited.
Lesley Logan 5:11
So thank you for sending your win in. You guys can send your wins into beitpod.com/questions. That's also where you can send in any topics you want us to do our solo episodes on or guests you want us to feature. This podcast is here for you. It's not just for hearing me talk to myself. I talk to myself all the time. I don't need another outlet. So definitely send in what you need.
Lesley Logan 5:30
And your mantra before I let you go is: I honor and cherish my life. I honor and cherish my life. I honor and cherish my life. Be It babe, I hope you do. That's the only way you could be it till you see it, anyways. Honor and cherish it. All right. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Lesley Logan 5:48
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 6:31
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 6:35
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 6:40
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 6:47
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 6:50
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
In this recap episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell revisit Lesley's conversation with Amy Dickens, a joy advocate, author of 101 Ways to Spread Joy, and creator of Joyfully You. Amy found joy after years of mental health struggles and turned it into a practice for nervous system regulation. The hosts get honest about what it costs to stay positive inside a negative industry, and why joy is something you build rather than something you wait for.
If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.
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Episode Transcript:
Lesley Logan 0:00
It's the idea of, like, okay, your house burnt down, so at least I get to design that master bedroom that I wanted. Like, that would be a toxic positivity thing. Finding joy is the neighbors that came over and showed how much they love and support you, and brought you new items and new things. I think finding joy or being the joy doesn't mean that you're not feeling feelings. It just means that you are not hyper-focused on all the shit.
Lesley Logan 0:25
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Brad Crowell 1:08
Take it away.
Lesley Logan 1:09
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the delightful combo I had with Amy Dickens in our last episode. If you haven't yet, listen to that interview. Feel free to pause this now. Go back because you missed out on some joy stuff. Like it was all joyful. Super joy.
Brad Crowell 1:23
Yes you did.
Lesley Logan 1:24
So, if you want to miss on joy
Lesley Logan 1:26
It was delightful.
Lesley Logan 1:27
You can listen to this first to see how much joy is in it, and then get that joy intrigue fixed by listening to her episode after. Today is August 6th. It's a day after my brother's birthday, 2026, and it kicks off.
Brad Crowell 1:39
Clutter Awareness Week
Lesley Logan 1:41
Which I'm sure the people who have clutter also hate that it's kicking off on a Thursday, but that's how they did it, which takes place annually, shining a light on the often overlooked issue of physical and mental clutter. Ooh, mental clutter too. This week encourages individuals to identify, confront, and overcome disorganization in their lives. Join the movement by decluttering a space, donating unused items, or learning new organizational strategies. So, I am super excited to say that I have, by the time you listen to this, taken all of our old dish towels, studio cleaning towels, old towels, Brad doesn't like that, but I'm taking old towels, all to the SPCA, the Nevada SPCA, because they will use them, and I got myself some new microfiber towels for the studio. And I'm gonna find kitchen towels that actually soak up shit because the ones we have, I don't know if you noticed, Brad, they just move it around. They just move the liquid around. There is something wrong with these towels, so they are gone. I'm taking them away. Time for some matching cute towels.
Brad Crowell 2:45
That is funny. Yeah, you're not wrong, and it's interesting because sometimes it's easy to get stuck in cleaning just so that you can focus, and then...
Lesley Logan 2:55
Well that's definitely ADHD...
Brad Crowell 2:57
But then other times I go through not cleaning, and it just piles up. Things just pile up.
Lesley Logan 3:02
I'm looking at a basket, and I was looking at it before we started this call. Before I knew what the week announcement was, and I was like, "This should be a box. Why is this an open basket? And why is this basket here?" And then if we take, you guys cannot see because what you see is very strategic, but this podcast room has become Monica's closet. I'm just gonna say it. If you know Monica from Friends, this is Monica's closet. And by the time you hear this, I'm going to say that we have done something to it because it's time.
Brad Crowell 3:34
It's time to declutter.
Lesley Logan 3:35
Alright. So tell us. Make sure you send a win in of what you decluttered this week. Send in a win to the beitpod.com/questions. Okay, really quick, as you have heard, the rumors are true. I created a teacher training program for new teachers or somewhat trained teachers who want to study Pilates the way I teach it. So if you like the style of my Pilates instruction, you like my tutorials, my flashcards, you want to go through my training. It's called UpLift, the capital L. And the educators for this program are people who trained with me through my mentorship program, eLevate. And so, if you are a comprehensively trained teacher and you want to study directly with me, then you want to do eLevate. If you actually just want to train through a training that I've created and that I'm very intimately involved in, but my eLevate grads will be teaching, you want to go through UpLift. So, UpLift's waitlist for teachers and people who want to be in that training is xxll.co/uws, and if you
Brad Crowell 4:29
Yeah, that's just to also make a distinction, UpLift is for people who are not yet teachers.
Lesley Logan 4:34
Not yet teachers. However.
Brad Crowell 4:35
But eLevate is are for comprehensively trained teachers already.
Lesley Logan 4:40
Yes, and I have to keep saying this because it's important. The industry is very unique. There are people who've only been trained on Mat or Reformer or Mat and Reformer, and so if you want to do a comprehensive training, you could go through UpLift because you cannot go through eLevate because you have to have had a comprehensive training to do eLevate. Yes. If you are already a comprehensively trained instructor and you're like, "Oh, I want to learn your teaching style, but it doesn't have to be directly with you. I prefer something in person." You could be a bridge participant in UpLift. So it's definitely for people who want to become a Pilates instructor. But there are ways where you're already doing some sort of teaching that you may prefer UpLift to eLevate. Those of you who are asking me how you can be an educator for eLevate, I love you. Thank you. I'm so glad you're so excited. You actually need to go through eLevate. So the actual proper channel is to go through eLevate, and so you want to go to lesleylogan.co/elevate. If you just want to study with me and not teach UpLift, you can still go through eLevate, but you have to be a comprehensively trained instructor. Boom. There, we did it. Okay.
Brad Crowell 5:41
Slayed.
Lesley Logan 5:41
We are on summer tour. We are on the road. It's happening. I don't even know what day, we must be in Lawrence, Kansas, or we might be in Nashville today. Hold on.
Brad Crowell 5:49
The 6th. I think we're in Lawrence or Knoxville. Let's see.
Lesley Logan 5:53
Well, I don't know what day the tour starts, and I actually haven't looked, but we do start in Denver. That sold out. Lawrence, Kansas, that's sold out. Then it's Nashville. Then it's Knoxville, a rooftop location for the mat class. It's going to be so freaking cool. Then it's Greensboro, North Carolina. I know we have a day off before we go to Augusta, Georgia. Then Atlanta, Georgia.
Brad Crowell 6:13
We're in Lawrence on A ugust 6.
Lesley Logan 6:14
August 6. So this is Lawrence, Kansas. Second day of the tour is August 6. Oh, we start on my brother's birthday. There we go. That'll be easy to remember. So there is, at the time of this recording, still space in stops 3 all the way to 14, but spaces are very much running out in Atlanta, Huntsville, Birmingham, Jackson, and Tucson. In fact, they might already be gone by the time you listen to this. But there is some good space in Nashville, Knoxville, Greensboro, Augusta, Frisco, and El Paso. So in El Paso, we're going to be teaching in Spanish. I mean, I'm going to have a translator. I don't know how to teach in Spanish. I know how to understand if she's saying what I said in Spanish. So don't worry, I can hear that. So our tour is powered by Balanced Body, which means we have gift certificates and prizes to give away. We have the Contrology equipment to bring in, so you can try it out. We have a discount, something you can use to buy your own equipment. Sure. So come on down, opc.me/tour. And then if you're new here, don't forget to check out our Pilates flashcards and our posters. Our flashcards are amazing, and you can buy them from us and support an amazing small company, and part of the money that you spend goes to the Nevada SPCA, which helps dogs, cats, guinea pigs, chinchillas, and bunnies get well taken care of till they find their furever home, as they would say, furever home. And if you want our posters, we have those, too.
Brad Crowell 7:38
I caught that (inaudible).
Lesley Logan 7:39
Yeah, well, you just looked around like, "What did she say?" So, opc.me/flashcards, opc.me/posters. Look how easy we make those links. What is not easy is if you want to send your win in to celebrate that you got those posters or flashcards, you have to send it into beitpod.com/questions. All right, we no longer take your questions here. We do those on Sundays on YouTube, on our YouTube Live, so come to that. Our OnlinePilatesClasses.com has a YouTube channel, and we go live every Sunday chatting with you. So instead, we bring up a charity that's topical for the time. So what is it, Brad?
Brad Crowell 8:15
That's right. All right, this month is Vaccination or Immunization Awareness Month.
Lesley Logan 8:19
Vaccination or Immunization Awareness Month.
Brad Crowell 8:22
That's what it is. So August, we're focusing on Vaccinate Your Family. Kicking off our immunization spotlight, we're featuring Vaccinate Your Family, a nonprofit with serious roots. It was founded in 1991 by former First Lady Rosalynn Carter.
Lesley Logan 8:34
Love the Carters.
Brad Crowell 8:36
And former Arkansas First Lady Betty Bumpers.
Lesley Logan 8:41
It looks like "Ladybug" if you go too fast because it says "First Lady Betty Bumpers," and I just read "Ladybug."
Brad Crowell 8:46
That's amazing. Originally as Every Child By Two, renamed Vaccinate Your Family in 2018.
Lesley Logan 8:52
The goal was to like get people vaccinated by two years old.
Brad Crowell 8:55
Its mission is to protect people of all ages from vaccine-preventable diseases by reaching everyone in the U.S. with science-based information and a real pathway to immunization, including a tool that helps families figure out how to actually pay for vaccines and a grassroots advocacy program that trains everyday people to share their stories. In a year where measles has come roaring back across our entire country, the work matters more than usual. And this month we're featuring a very well-vetted...
Lesley Logan 9:22
Yes
Brad Crowell 9:23
...charity. I mean, they don't get more vetted than this. They have a 92% score and four-star rating from Charity Navigator, plus a Gold Seal of Transparency from Candid. Whether you're a parent, a caregiver, or someone who just wants families to have clear answers and real access, this one is absolutely worth a look. Find out more and support them at vaccinateyourfamily.com.
Lesley Logan 9:42
And I think this is really important because it's a really weird time right now where people are trusting influencers over actual science-based information, and that can be very harmful. Not just for the people who get misinformation, but also for the people that that misinformation negatively affects, right? Like there are people who believe that these vaccines are causing autism out in the world. Autism has been here before vaccines. It's not a thing you catch. It's a thing that's part of how your body and brain all work together. And when people spread that misinformation, it negatively affects people who are autistic in a way that's unfair and unwarranted and awful. But the other reality is there are people who cannot get vaccinated for whatever reason. Like there are people who are either not old enough for certain vaccines or their system is going through something. They have cancer or things like that, and so they cannot. And so as a community, we are supposed to be doing this together. And because of misinformation about vaccines that has been debunked too many times, the U.S. is no longer measles-free, and in fact, they think that we'll never get it back. And it's a sad thing because measles does ruin your entire immune system, including things you were already immunized from.
Brad Crowell 10:59
And you could die.
Lesley Logan 11:00
Yeah, you can. And if you want to see a real-life example of how they educate and talk about that and be entertained, watch The Pitt. Yep, very interesting episode about that. Maybe you don't die, but maybe the person that got exposed to it in those first four days that you had it...
Brad Crowell 11:12
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 11:13
...couldn't be vaccinated. I mean...
Brad Crowell 11:14
When they did, I can't remember if it was smallpox or measles back in the day. The pitch was not everybody can get the vaccine.
Lesley Logan 11:22
Yeah.
Brad Crowell 11:23
So therefore, it's incumbent on us to give a shit about our neighbors who can't get it.
Lesley Logan 11:28
It was polio.
Brad Crowell 11:29
I think it was polio.
Lesley Logan 11:30
Your great uncle got polio.
Brad Crowell 11:31
You're right. I think it was polio. So not everyone can get the vaccine because of immunity stuff. So the best thing for the community is for everyone who can get the vaccine to get the vaccine so that we are not carriers or passing things along. A nd it protects others.
Lesley Logan 11:49
Well, and also it's really interesting. Dr. Divya on Instagram did this whole thing about the best peptide you can get, the best peptide. And she talked about how amazing peptides are, what peptides are, how they come from your body. GLP-1, the P stands for peptide, and everyone in the world is super into peptides. And she said the best peptide is a vaccination.
Brad Crowell 12:09
Right. B ecause that's what they fucking are.
Lesley Logan 12:14
That's what they are.
Brad Crowell 12:16
Right. Yep.
Lesley Logan 12:16
It's hard. It's fucking hard. Anyway, there's a lot of bad stuff. I understand there's all the awful history about how a lot of vaccinations were done and how racist stuff happened, and so I get that there are so many layers, and I don't want our conversation here to be pedantic or small about it. But I do want to acknowledge that we got rid of fucking measles, and now we're not.
Brad Crowell 13:17
Yeah, now it's back.
Lesley Logan 13:18
Vaccinate your family, if you want to help support them, to help people who are not misinformed yet get taken care of and get the help they need because a lot of these things are free if they know about it.
Brad Crowell 13:30
If you have a charity that you think should be featured or we should be talking about, let us know. Go to beitpod.com/questions, and you can also leave us a win for the Friday episode. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about Amy Dickens.
Brad Crowell 13:43
All right, welcome back. Let's talk about Amy Dickens. Amy is a joy advocate, author of 101 Ways to Spread Joy, and the creator of Joyfully You. She helps people reconnect to their joy as a tool for nervous system regulation and transformation. After struggling with mental health challenges into her mid-to-late 20s, Amy discovered that finding joy became her turning point. Her experience led her to explore how community and intentional joy practices reshape lives, and she's known for leading joy parades in the streets and helping others overcome social anxiety to build meaningful connections. That's pretty freaking cool.
Lesley Logan 14:23
So cool. And I have to be honest, I'm sure someone in her life was like, "You're gonna make money doing this?" But she is, and she's doing a great job, and she brings such a smile to your face. I loved so much of what she said. When we show up as the joy that we wish to see in the world, that creates this invisible ripple effect, and it's so true.
Brad Crowell 14:43
Did you say be it till you see it?
Lesley Logan 14:45
Be it till you see it. I think that's what she said. That's what I said. Yeah. No, and I think this is so true. If there's an idea, if you need love, go give love. If you need joy, go give joy to people. Go smile. Go be. She says in a world full of fear and divisiveness, joy acts as a breath of fresh air. Yeah. And it really is true. In the industry that I'm in, it can be really negative, really nasty. I'm super pissed about people taking my IP and all this stuff. But I have this girl who's in a similar situation where someone in another country is using her stuff, has gone through all these efforts, and she's finally at the end of the rope. She's like, "All I can do is actually just put all the evidence on Facebook, call them out, and blast it because I can't go any further." And she's like, "Would you help me share this?" And I said, "I can't do that." I said, "It's not that I don't support you. Not that I probably wouldn't do the same thing. It's that I try not to put out negative stuff in this industry. I try to find a positive way to talk about the shit so that there's hope." And that goes through, like, how can we figure out a way to be the breath of fresh air?
Brad Crowell 15:50
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 15:51
In our offices, in the family situation, so that not only do we experience joy, but people do too. And maybe those people who are fearful and divisive might actually, I don't know. Maybe something happens when they experience a little bit of joy..
Brad Crowell 16:03
Yeah, it's interesting. It's tough to stay focused on the positive, especially if somebody is maligning you or stealing from you. So yeah, that's a hard thing.
Lesley Logan 16:14
I think that's a distinction in the joy. And then we had a guest last year where we talked about toxic positivity. Being a breath of fresh air and finding joy does not have to be in the shit that's happening. It can actually be next to the shit, right? It's like the idea of, like, okay, your house burnt down, so at least I get to design that master bedroom that I wanted. Like, that would be a toxic positivity thing. Finding joy is the neighbors that came over and showed how much they love and support you, and brought you new items and new things. I think finding joy or being the joy doesn't mean that you're not feeling feelings. It just means that you are not hyper-focused on all the shit.
Brad Crowell 16:54
Hyper-focused on all the shit. Yep. I really loved when she was talking about how do you predict joy and happiness. She said that the number one predictor is your relationships.
Lesley Logan 17:09
Yes.
Brad Crowell 17:10
In life.
Lesley Logan 17:10
We were talking about this with another person. Not us, with another person. You heard a guy talking about happiness and quality of relationship. It has to be with three prongs. So this is very fascinating. Your number one predictor of happiness is your relationships, and it's like the idea of you're the average of the five people you hang out with.
Brad Crowell 17:28
Yeah, sure.
Lesley Logan 17:28
So if they're shitty people, you're probably not going to have a lot of joy.
Brad Crowell 17:31
Yeah, she said it includes both deep, intimate relationships, but also saying hi to random strangers.
Lesley Logan 17:37
I like that you do that. My mom does that. I think I smile. I acknowledge.
Brad Crowell 17:43
Yeah, I definitely started doing that when I was a teenager, and I would just compliment people. You know, "I like your shoes," or "I like your sweatshirt."
Lesley Logan 17:52
All the time. They don't even listen sometimes. He said something one night in the airport. He told this one person, "I like your jacket," and a guy with a shitty jacket was like, "This thing?" And it was like, "No, I was talking to her."
Brad Crowell 18:02
It was like, "Oh my god."
Lesley Logan 18:04
But anyways, we all had a good laugh, so there was joy there. And you were a little pocket of joy for someone.
Brad Crowell 18:09
So funny.
Lesley Logan 18:09
Yeah. But if you are, "I can't say hi to strangers because what if they're crazy? What if they come at me?" Ladies, I feel you, which is why I actually make sure I'm very kind to the people behind the counter of the places that I get coffee. They are safe. They are behind the coffee thing.
Brad Crowell 18:26
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 18:26
Someone vetted them to work at that coffee place, and so I will bring joy to them. And then if I want to the people around me, I have a witness. So I feel good about it. I don't do it on the street as much, but, you know.
Brad Crowell 18:36
She said that even saying hi to your neighbor actually matters for your mental health and joy. Yeah. So saying hi, or waving, or being kind to the mail person or whatever. She said we are in a loneliness epidemic right now, and learning to build community is a skill.
Lesley Logan 18:51
Yeah.
Brad Crowell 18:52
Learning to build community is a skill. The hard part requires being brave, that moment of hello, but the payoff is actual community and connection, right? That is amazing for our own loneliness, our own mental health, for our own joy and our own happiness. So she said, you have to put yourself in situations where you feel really scared and you're doing it anyways.
Lesley Logan 19:17
It's like she listened to the podcast.
Brad Crowell 19:20
Yeah. Actually, I was laughing because so many things—do it scared. She didn't say "be it till you see it," but she basically described that. A lot of the things that she was talking about, I was laughing because I was like, "Oh yeah, we say that. We talk about that."
Lesley Logan 19:35
I love it. I love it. I know, and I think that's really true. There is a loneliness epidemic. One thing that I love about our situation where we live now versus the apartment, because we couldn't really just, I guess we did know our mail person at the apartment, but we know our FedEx driver, we know our UPS people, we know our mail lady. And even the ones we don't know, we're always out there. We meet them outside, like, "Hey, how's it going?" They know. They're like, "Oh, this is the Pilates house, right?" They probably don't have a lot of engagement. They're just on the roads dealing with people. So if you just even be nice to them, you might be the impact that they need.
Brad Crowell 20:20
By doing that, you're the impact that you need.
Lesley Logan 20:22
Yes, I agree. I remember, oh my gosh, when I worked in retail, we had the same UPS driver Monday to Friday and a different guy on Saturday, and we loved our Monday-to-Friday guy. We would talk to him every day. One day we didn't have him. He's like, "Oh yeah, I was subbing around in Newport." "You're going to leave us for the ocean, aren't you?" And he's, "No, I'm in AC all day. I don't have to do anything." But we were such good friends with our UPS driver, and it was something to look forward to every day. It's like part of the routine. Here he comes.
Brad Crowell 20:47
That's fun. Yeah, I love it. Well, stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into those Be It Action Items. Welcome back. Let's talk about those Be It Action Items that you had with Amy Dickens. What bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your convo? She said she uses two practices for maintaining joy. The first one is miracle walks.
Lesley Logan 21:12
I love this.
Brad Crowell 21:13
Yeah, and she said...
Lesley Logan 21:14
Like, the miracle dreams person we had.
Brad Crowell 21:17
She said, just walk around. Walk your block. And she said, "Look up." She changes her perspective instead of looking down at her phone or ahead on the sidewalk. Look up. What are you actually seeing? She said, "You cannot return until you identify three miracles on this walk." Okay, so miracle number one might be dew on a leaf or birds singing, right? So three things where you're just observing something that is amazing, something that is astounding.
Lesley Logan 21:43
I do this every morning. I take a note of the moon and the sunrise every morning.
Brad Crowell 21:48
I love that.
Lesley Logan 21:48
Yes. I see if I have a third one.
Brad Crowell 21:51
For me, it's often like a cactus. I'll take a closer look at them because they're all fascinating, how they grow. It's completely different.
Lesley Logan 22:01
They change every day.
Brad Crowell 22:02
Yeah, it's crazy.
Lesley Logan 22:03
Especially right now because of the flowering.
Brad Crowell 22:05
Yeah, I know. This part of the year is so beautiful in Vegas. She said this trains your brain to actively scan for beauty and joy in places you've already walked a thousand times.
Lesley Logan 22:16
Yes.
Brad Crowell 22:16
So instead of just letting it all pass you by, even in the city, there are amazing things to see. So I love it. Miracle walks is one. Two, calendar blocking. Prioritize scheduling connection and joy before filling your calendar with work.
Lesley Logan 22:31
This is actually very much on brand with what I say when I teach people how to do their schedule on our retreat, which is you have to put your priorities first.
Brad Crowell 22:40
Yep.
Lesley Logan 22:40
Sleep.
Brad Crowell 22:41
Yep.
Lesley Logan 22:42
Light is genius. Sleep.
Brad Crowell 22:43
Yeah, your rocks in your schedule, the way we describe that, is prioritizing the opportunity for connection and joy should be paramount. It should absolutely be a part of your schedule.
Lesley Logan 22:56
Yes, yes.
Brad Crowell 22:57
You know, for me, you
Lesley Logan 22:58
You cannot fit joy in. You're gonna fit it in. It's gonna stress it out.
Brad Crowell 23:02
Yeah, for me, it's been sitting on the front porch, drinking my coffee in the morning, just gathering my thoughts and enjoying the day. You know.
Lesley Logan 23:10
You know what we have not done?
Brad Crowell 23:11
Tell me.
Lesley Logan 23:12
We have not told the podcast we have a dog.
Brad Crowell 23:14
Oh. We have a new dog.
Lesley Logan 23:18
Yeah.
Brad Crowell 23:18
Congratulations, us.
Lesley Logan 23:20
Yeah. We'll talk more about that another day.
Brad Crowell 23:22
Yeah, we'll we'll share that more, if you're on socials. I'm sure you've seen it on Instagram.
Lesley Logan 23:26
And your morning, the reason that thought dolphined up, is because you sit out on the porch in the mornings with the dog.
Brad Crowell 23:43
Yes.
Lesley Logan 23:43
And Darla tried to join this routine, and it did not bring Darla joy.
Brad Crowell 23:47
She lasted about five minutes. It did not bring Darla joy.
Lesley Logan 23:50
No, no, no.
Brad Crowell 23:52
What about you? What was your biggest takeaway?
Lesley Logan 23:53
Okay, give yourself permission to follow your joy, whatever big or little ways that might be. Okay, this is really important. Let me finish her thought. Take a deep breath. Be honest with yourself. Write it all down. Say, "Okay, today, what would I feel like if I was 5% more alive right now?" So she's giving you permission to follow your joy, whatever that is. I want to just make sure I say this. My loves, my ADHD people, my high overachiever perfectionists, just because something brings you joy does not mean you have to get paid to do it. So please, permission to follow your joy and not make it have a return on investment other than joy.
Brad Crowell 24:35
Right.
Lesley Logan 24:36
As soon as I started telling people I was reading my tarot, I kept having people say, "You do a reading for me." No. Don't take my joy from me. And so I stopped telling people because they're trying to make a job out of it. And then some people might go, "Oh, why are you doing that? You can't make money from that." That's not your point. So just protect your joy thing. Yep. Okay.
Brad Crowell 24:52
I love it.
Lesley Logan 24:52
So, in giving yourself permission to follow your joy, you don't have to rewrite your whole life story, but allow yourself just a little of that as a tiny little reframe, like a new way of telling the same thing about yourself or a new way of adding something in. You're not changing everything about yourself to add a little bit of joy, but you are probably an affirmation of, like, "I am someone who sees joy in my morning walks." That's not changing everything you are, but it's changing that one little spot and reframing those things. So, anyways.
Brad Crowell 25:22
Yeah, I dig it.
Lesley Logan 25:23
I think she's great.
Brad Crowell 25:24
This was a really fun podcast. Her demeanor and her attitude were amazingly joyfu and it's contagious.
Lesley Logan 25:30
Oh yeah. And also, 101 Ways to Spread Joy. All these people who can do 101 anything, I am already impressed because 101, that is so many. Give me 10.
Brad Crowell 25:44
Check that out. Amy Dickens, 101 Ways to Spread Joy.
Lesley Logan 25:48
I'm Lesley Logan,
Brad Crowell 25:48
and I'm Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 25:49
Send this to your friend who needs to spread some joy so they can feel some joy. Send the episode with Amy, and then they'll come here and see how chaotic we are, and then hopefully they're stuck. And until next time, Be It Till You See It
Brad Crowell 26:02
Bye for now.
Lesley Logan 26:03
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 26:46
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 26:51
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 26:55
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 27:02
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 27:05
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
Are you waiting around for happiness to just appear, or are you actively hitting the "joy gym"? In this episode of Be It Till You See It, host Lesley Logan sits down with Amy, author of 101 Ways to Spread Joy, to unpack why joy is a practice, not a coincidence. Amy shares how she came through severe mental health challenges and social anxiety by learning to choose joy on purpose, take bold risks, and send a positive ripple out into the world.
If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.
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Guest Bio:
Amy Dickens is a leading voice in the power of joy and play as tools for transformation and nervous system regulation. As the creator of Joyfully You, author of 101 Ways to Spread Joy, and host of the Joyfully You Podcast, Amy helps people reconnect to their aliveness through laughter, movement, and community. Whether she’s leading parades of people dancing through the streets or speaking on stage about the ripple effect of joy, Amy’s mission is to remind us that joy isn’t a distraction from growth—it’s the doorway to it.
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Episode Transcript:
Amy Dickens 0:00
Give yourself permission to follow your joy, whatever big or little ways that might be, and to let yourself just kind of be brutally honest. Like, if I had no fear, what would that look like?
Lesley Logan 0:10
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousandss of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 0:52
All right, B e It babe. Get ready to smile. Get ready to... First of all, I'm just gonna tell you right now, I'm a fast talker. She's an excited talker. So if you normally listen on 2.0 speed, it might be a 1.5 episode. I'm just saying, but we're talking about joy today. Amy Dickens is the author of the best-selling book 101 Ways to Spread Joy, and I think we really need this right now. I think we need to one, understand how do we even feel joy in our own selves, and then two, how does that allow us to spread joy with others? And it's a really great story. I mean, I could have talked to Amy for hours. I'll be really, really honest. We kept it short, and I think there's at least three takeaways, maybe different ones for one person, another thing that made more sense to you. But I really do think that there's three awesome things that you can take away from this episode, if not more, and it might be one of those ones that you kind of hit rewind and go, "Wait, what did she do?" and add it to your list of things to try out because you got to feel all of our feelings. But one thing I think we really need to spend a little bit more time feeling as joy in our lives definitely helps you be it till you see it, and you're going to hear all of that in this episode. So here's Amy Dickens.
Lesley Logan 2:00
All right, Be It babe, this is going to be... I'm just gonna say it. It's gonna be a joyful conversation. Every part of my being says it's going to be that way because we have Amy Dickens here, the author of 101 Ways to Spread Joy. So, Amy, can you tell everyone who you are and why you rock at joy spreading? Because I think that this is interesting. I've never met anyone who says this is what I do for a living.
Amy Dickens 2:23
Yeah, yeah. It's funny you say that because I literally just met somebody else that does it this past weekend at a Joy Maker Bootcamp, and I'm like, whoa, other people do this? I thought I was the only one, but yeah. So I grew up with a ton of mental health problems until my mid to late 20s, probably, and it was joy, really, that helped respark me into this person that I am, to rediscovering the joy of living, kind of thing, in all the big and the little ways, and the true power of who I am as a person and that authenticity. And the more that I lean into it, the more I was like, "Whoa, this is who I really am." So I'm on a mission to really help reconnect people to their joy, so that they can become who they really truly are in this life, and then also it's turned into how can we create the world to be a better place? Because when we show up as the joy that we wish to see in the world, that creates this invisible ripple effect that, in turn, is kind of creating a new world, basically, for us to live in and co-create.
Lesley Logan 3:24
Oh, 100% Amy. I mean, like they always say, your vibe attracts your tribe, right? So if you 're not joyful and you're going in like an Eeyore, of course, the only people who are actually going to talk to you are the Eeyores. It was really funny at my wedding, t hese two women who didn't know each other, I saw them talking and hugging the only air conditioning vent, and I was like, of course those two would be talking. Of course, that's just the cynic nature in them finding the cynic nature in each other, and they're just going to be cynics covering up the AC and stealing it from everybody. And no wonder the y're turning everyone into them. So it's just kind of funny how, I do agree. The more joyful we are living our life, it invites other people to be joyful too, but it does make the world a little bit better place, and it's really hard saying that. We're actually recording this during a time that the world does not feel very joyful, Amy, doesn't feel very joyful, and I feel like it's really easy for people to even think that this is a toxic positivity conversation, that it's not even thoughtful and considering what is going on. But I'll just tell you a little background that you don't know about me. In my spaces, there are places where you can complain. It's c a lled an "I need a moment" channel, and you're allowed to need a moment and bitch. But I have a rule that you have to have a win. You h a ve to share a win at the same time. You don't get to come back later and do it. You got to do it at the same time because there's always something good going on too, and there is a balance, and we can't just throw up on people and then come back and do joy later. So tell me, knowing what we know, what's going on right now.
Amy Dickens 4:41
Yeah.
Lesley Logan 4:43
Is seeking joy like a waste of time, not thoughtful? How can we do that in a way that doesn't feel privileged? Do you know what I mean? I made this a huge question. I'm sorry, I just laid it on you.
Amy Dickens 5:00
Lay the huge questions on me. I'm here for it. I am all about it. Yeah, I personally have a really deep belief, deep in my bones, that we need our joy now more than ever. And then also, little caveat is that when I say this, I don't mean that we have to live at this peak state of bliss and joy 100% of the time.
Lesley Logan 5:00
Like, don't fuck my joy up. Take your bad news over there. Yeah, it's not like that.
Amy Dickens 5:22
Right. It's like, okay, we get to be a human that has the full spectrum of human emotions, and we aren't repressing stuff because that also doesn't work. We've seen that, we've been there, we've done that. We know that that's not the way, just shove it and ignore stuff. We can feel the whole thing, but I feel like where I'm looking at the world, and I've been the past 12 years on this whole self-help journey, it feels like joy often was a missing component in a lot of things that I was seeing. I truly do believe that our joy... I lead these joy parades, so my joy parades, I get people singing and dancing in the street. The whole point is to basically uplift yourself and to be this little uplifting moment, this breath of fresh air, this glitch in the matrix, kind of like whoa, people are looking up from their phones and suddenly they're dancing and singing "Who Let the Dogs Out" with us or something on a random Saturday, and it uplifts them. The response I get is otherworldly, and at the same place where we start this, oftentimes there happens to be a protest for something on the other side of the street or something, and it's a little bit edgy. And sometimes people feel a little angry at us for like, what are you doing?
Amy Dickens 6:33
And to me, I feel like we are just taking two different paths of you know like trying to use yes, right? It's like the same coin, like kind of thing. But it's just like, oh, you can either do this way or that way. I'm not saying your way is wrong or right. This is just the way that feels like my part to play. And it feels like if we can show up in a joyful way, because I know myself personally, I make different choices when I'm in an angry state, when I'm in a fearful state, when I'm in a joyful state. And I truly believe that if we can start to be more joyful and connective with each other, that we will start to create different decisions. That we will show up and like create little micro pockets of a new world, rather than create. There's so much fear. There's so much divisiveness right now, and we're just. It feels like we're getting more and more separate, and to me that feels scary. To me, that feels not like not creating the world we wish to be in. When we're like, you're different, we can't talk. You think different things, we can't talk. I really would love to create a world of like, can we even dance together in the street for a second? I don't even need to know. And then from that space, there can be a level of safety almost because we all laugh and like we all want belonging.
Lesley Logan 7:47
Yeah, it also makes me think like which party you want to be at, right? Like, like at the Portland protest, talk about joy, like that you were seeing with the frog guy and all the things, and like the you're not that our whole thing is about protesting, but I do think that like it's important that we talk about how joy can exist in a place where you are where you are still wanting to to support causes that you care about or rights that you care about. And like one of our first protests that we went to while living in Vegas, there was drummers and there was music and performers who were singing, and it just made everyone flipping us off look so weird because it's like we're having a great time. Like you look so strange, and so part of me is like, I want to be at the joy protest. You know, that's what I want to be at.
Amy Dickens 8:25
Absolutely, yeah. And I mean, like I've heard someone else say she was like, "There's a war on happiness, and like there kind of is sometimes. Well, certain people they get mad at like joyful, happy people.
Lesley Logan 8:27
Well, I want to go back to a little bit how you said something about growing up, and I don't remember a time of actual pure celebration. Look, my parents listen to this, and they're gonna be like, "Excuse me, we did celebrate on April 13th at this time." I'm sure there was, but Im' thinking about, the way I interpreted things is like, "Oh, I won, but the team won, but I dropped the ball. We did this, but I could have done..." Every achievement of celebration was also really that the thing that I took away, just the personality type that I have, was all the things I could have done better. And so it's very rare that you're just in the joyful moment. And not that you shouldn't reflect back about what's going on, but I do think that we too often, because we're busy and we are doing too many things, we are not taking the time to celebrate what we did do, and then on a separate time sit down and go, okay, so what is the postmortem on that? Because otherwise we ruin the joy part by talking about the things we could have done better, which we could do the next day, right?
Amy Dickens 9:39
Absolutely, yeah. There is such a focus on what didn't work and complaining, and we have a negativity bias already, biologically as humans. So we're just wired for that. So it's challenging to unlearn our old programming and say, how can... Because I think most of us could probably agree, I think most people can say: do you want to be more joyful? I think most people would probably check "yeah" on that box.
Amy Dickens 10:05
I don't think many people be like, no,
Lesley Logan 10:07
I have enough July.
Amy Dickens 10:08
I would like to be miserable. Honestly, I have I have had a lot of people like on the streets be like, I'm already joyful. Like, all right, cool. That's all good. Like, more power to you, man. But I I think that it's a hard pill to swallow to say it's kind of hard to retrain ourselves to learn to be joyful. Like it's I call it the joy gym. You know, you have to go to the gym or you know some workout class to build muscle. And if you don't go, like your muscle fatigues and you lose that. And it's the same thing with joy. Like you don't always want to go to the gym. You don't always want to make a choice to choose to be a different person, to choose to like move your body or think in ways that a joyful person would. There's like a slight discipline, and also I think a a need for that why that pulls you to oh this is why I am making this choice to be a joyful person because I know that if I'm showing up in like this joyful way, I get to create a ripple of impact around me. I can make someone's day. I can be the person with the energy in the room that is impacting everyone to kind of have that whole like, whoa! I feel like so much more myself. I feel so much more empowered after talking to her, inspired, or just like I just feel good, like we all know those people, and we can be that person. And it's not like if you're not that person, because I wasn't that person. I straight up was not even close to that person.
Amy Dickens 11:31
And it was over the years choosing again and again things that filled my cup and were joyful to me, and living a joyful life and a life of purpose and all of these things. And it's a big old bumpy road, right? But also saying, okay, how do I practice and also mess up a bazillion different times at trying to be her? What does that version of you look like? And it's trial and error. And sometimes it feels uncomfortable when you're not used to doing it because you've never done it before, and it doesn't really make it wrong. You can just say, hey, not that way, but let me try this way this time.
Lesley Logan 12:02
Well, that's just Amy, and you just mentioned "be her" with, obviously, the Be It Till You See It podcast. I think it's this interesting thing. A lot of us are waiting until when we get somewhere, right? Oh, when I get this, and when this happens. And we actually do have to be it till we see it. So to be a joyful person, you actually cannot wait for a joyful moment. You have to be the joy that you want to see. Like that's what they say, right? So, can we talk a little bit about that? You weren't always this joyful person, and you were trying to be a joyful person. What did being a joyful person before you were a joyful person look like? What did going to the joy gym look like? What was the first rep?
Amy Dickens 12:43
Yeah. I mean, for me, I wouldn't say I'm the most normal cookie of all time. I'm kind of an all-or-nothing kind of girly sometimes. So for me, it really looked like I had this huge breakup moment with a person I was with for 11 years, and it was this whole restructuring of my life. And I said, "Whoa, I'm gonna follow my joy." What does that even look like? I don't even really know. Like, what is it that only me, as an adult woman, wants to do? And I realized it was these big things that were often really joyful and really scary to another part of me, and that was the reason why I hadn't done any of these things. I've always wanted to do a yoga teacher training for like eight years, and I was like, why have I not done that? Because I was like, "Well, I'm not a yoga teacher," was the story that I had. And I said, oh, well, you're never going to become a yoga teacher unless you do the training. That's literally the only way to do it. No one walks into that door and is like, "Yeah, I'm already a yoga teacher."
Lesley Logan 13:41
Right, no one's born with the certification. You have to go do it.
Amy Dickens 13:44
Right! But I had to really let myself take risks, not think very much, and let myself fail and learn that fail in quotes, you know, and just do stuff and flop. So I think I was like, what if I do this and it doesn't work, or I can't be her? And I just would take bold leaps and book one-way tickets to places. I was pretty wild and extreme. And it doesn't have to look like that, but I do think that the nugget of wisdom within that was allowing myself to say: what is it that really would spark joy inside of me, make me feel alive? What would that look like on a big scale or a micro scale to follow that, to empower myself to make a move towards becoming that, and knowing that I do it scared, and knowing that at first it was uncomfortable and that didn't make it wrong, but the more you gain the confidence by doing it... You don't get confidence by just thinking about it or prepping for it. You get the confidence by doing the reps, and you're like, oh, suddenly my comfort zone's bigger because I've been doing this. And now there's a new edge for me to walk into.
Lesley Logan 14:54
It's the craziest thing. Everyone is like, "I'm just waiting to... When I'm more confident, I'll do this." And it's something that I have struggled with in supporting people and coaching people: wait, do you think that some people were just born confident and others were not? Because that's not what I think. I think that somewhere along the way, some people's confidence bucket was upheld and supported, and some people's confidence buckets were kicked down the street. But we all have one, and the only way to keep confidence or get it back is to do the thing you said you'd do scared, and be willing to fail and flop and try again. And I think some people have a really hard time with either rejection or the failure of it all. There's a perfectionist problem that affects people from experiencing joy. I don't think you can be a perfectionist and a joy-filled person. I don't know, I could be wrong. Have you met a perfectionist who's joyful?
Amy Dickens 15:57
You know, I would say there's a lot of recovering perfectionists that I've met, they're like, hey I have joy. I'm definitely raising my hand here.
Lesley Logan 16:05
Like all addicts I've ever heard on TV, constantly, they're forever going to AA, saying, "Hi, that's me. Hello, I am Lesley. I'm a recovering perfectionist, yes."
Amy Dickens 16:14
Recovering perfectionist, and you know, I have some days that are great and some days that could be better.
Lesley Logan 16:21
Yeah.
Amy Dickens 16:21
Yeah, and I think that a huge part, in retrospect and just reflecting on how many people that I've talked to... and this wasn't really a conscious choice at the time... was because I used to have horrible social anxiety, like very, very intense, like could not really talk to anybody that I didn't know extremely well without feeling like my whole body was flushed and tense, and like I needed to run (inaudible).
Lesley Logan 16:44
That's so hard because how do you get to know people if you don't talk to them? That's really difficult. Oh, this is so hard to get over.
Amy Dickens 16:53
Yeah, and it was really just throwing myself into the deep end of: okay, you gotta sit with this and learn that people aren't scary by being with people. And now we know that the number one predictor of joy and happiness is the quality of your relationships in your life, both the deep, intimate relationships and just the number of random strangers. Apparently, that's really good for our joy and our mental health. Just be like, "Ah, hi, bud! Get the mail today?" Apparently, they say that that's great for you.
Lesley Logan 17:22
That is hilarious. I didn't know that, and no wonder. In L.A. in an apartment, I lived near people for... how long did I live there? Seven years in the apartment. I didn't know anyone's name. We would just walk past each other. My neighbors , I've lived here almost six years, and we know every neighbor's name. We know them all.
Amy Dickens 17:41
It's not even like you need to hang out all the time, but there's... for some reason.
Lesley Logan 17:44
I'm definitely more joyful. Yeah.
Amy Dickens 17:45
...communalness to it. And I think that that was also a part of my journey to becoming more joyful was learning, because I think so many of us are like, how do we make friends as adults? How do I...? And there's this loneliness epidemic, you know, it's just all over. I think learning how to heal that and really value... okay, I need to learn how to make community, to make friendships, to be bold and brave and put myself in situations where I feel really scared and I'm doing it anyways. I'd have questions on my phone in case my brain would go blank at first, because I was like, oh my god, what if I don't know what to say? And I'm like, oh yeah, I'll have some juicy questions on my phone so that I can learn how to have this conversation, or give myself training wheels, or I do fun things with people. I'd be like, I love dancing, and dancing's so regulating. So that's a great way to try and meet people.
Lesley Logan 18:37
And now you can go to a silent disco, so you can be someone who's introverted and who loves to dance, and you can go be amongst a ton of people, but by yourself, so you can build up the confidence to being in a group of people. There's just so many different ways you can do things now. And I just read that the World Health Organization says that being lonely, loneliness is terribly bad for both your physical and your mental health. We are designed to be amongst people. So I just want to take a step back because you mentioned having mental health issues growing up, terrible anxiety. When did you get a resume together for a joy job? I'm gonna be really honest, Amy. If I was your parent, I'd be like, "Can she make money spreading joy?" I don't understand. So, can we talk a little about the journey to going... that you went on that made you not only an expert, but someone who wrote a best-selling book? It seems a little odd.
Amy Dickens 19:32
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. It certainly was not the trajectory that I ever had in mind of, "Yes, I'm going to graduate college, and this is what I will do with my degree."
Lesley Logan 19:44
Is there...? I mean, there are happiness coaching degrees that I know because I've interviewed people who are certified in happiness coaching, but I don't know if that's what you did. So tell me more.
Amy Dickens 19:55
No, that certainly was not the plan. Because of all of my mental health and all this kind of stuff, I was obsessed with self-help, reading all of the books, doing all of the courses for the past 12 years, and then got really into teaching yoga. That was where I started all of my joyful experience. And then from teaching yoga, I started learning to make people dance on the mat, and then it turned into: ooh, what if we played games together instead of doing yoga at all? And then suddenly I'm leading workshops in how do we get people to authentically connect and use play to regulate their nervous system? And emceeing events started happening, and it was just all of these happenstance things start, I wasn't planning on doing this. Somebody just kind of asked me if I would do something, and I said, "Sure, I'll try and do that. I've never emceeed an event before. Why not? Let's see." And it was fun. And then through that, you're uplifting people. And before I know it, I'm leading parades of people dancing through the streets, just on a mission of spreading joy around. It's been such a journey. In there, there's a whole coaching certification and business that I had started at the time, and a million other things. I think there was just this part of me that was like, I am on a mission, and I know that because deep in my bones this mission chose me. I didn't say, "I want to be the joy lady." It just felt like: I need a purpose. What is my purpose? And it just kept coming to me. I was like, okay, because it chose me, this is inevitable that it will work. There is no chance that it doesn't. And if it's not working yet, I just gotta keep going. And I gotta have fun with it too. That's the huge part of it.
Lesley Logan 21:40
Amy, if you're having the least amount of fun becoming a joy coach, I'm just...
Amy Dickens 21:48
I'm gonna be real honest. There was definitely that moment where I had a whole shame spiral because I was so perfectionist in this one moment. I literally burnt myself out, and I was like, oh my god, I am so stressed about being this joy coach and making this business work, I'm an imposter. Oh my god!
Lesley Logan 22:07
Right
Amy Dickens 22:09
Yeah, absolutely. And I was like, okay, I gotta learn to enjoy the journey because the journey is 98% of it. The destination is this tiny little, "Okay, reached that goal, onto the next part of your journey." And it's fine and great to have goals, but to just be solely focused on the destination... Learning to enjoy life itself is a skill. Learning to just be like, "Wow, I'm freaking joyful for no freaking good reason," that is a skill, and I see it as a gift to this world. If you can feel the blessings of this day that you're like, "Wow! I can walk, I can breathe, I can move my body," all of these incredible things that we take for granted each and every day, rather than focusing on the negative, we can create really incredible things from that space. Each and every one of us, when we're in that connected space to our true gifts, our power, our gratitude, there's infinite abundance that we can create from that.
Lesley Logan 23:08
I'm kind of wondering... You just mentioned a few things, like "I can breathe" and "I can walk" and I do these things. I think we do forget that there is joy in those things because it's certainly not joyful when your leg falls asleep or you're sick in bed. You're not feeling joy then, and you're like, "I miss being well," but you weren't enjoying how well you were before you were sick. Do you have any tools for people who are like, "Okay, I'm gonna practice feeling the joy feeling"? How did you practice being her, being the joy?
Amy Dickens 23:40
Yeah, I mean, if we're gonna take the joy, there's almost two different camps, and one I would say is simple joys. To me, my number one way that I personally practice this is I get outside when I'm feeling really stressed, and I look up, I look up at the sky, I look up at the trees, I change my perspective, and I take a deep breath. It's a very simple, one-second thing that you can do. You can do it between a Zoom call in one minute if your door is close enough. It's something about changing your perspective. You're looking up at the sky and the trees, and it's like, whoa, I'm a human being. I'm not just this robot that needs to be hyper-productive. There's something about it that just instantly brings me back into: whoa, I am not just here to do, do, do. I am here to be a human being and just enjoying the little simple things. How much can I romanticize and enjoy this moment in my life? Can I put a sweet playlist on in the background and change the way in which I'm working? Can I slow down and eat a meal? That's constantly what I'm still working on to this day.
Lesley Logan 24:49
I keep saying I'm going to. I do have an hour-long lunch break, and it's so easy to be like, "Oh, I'm just gonna do one more thing," and now the lunch break is only 20 minutes, and "I'll just do this while I'm doing that." It's definitely a bad habit. That is one I would like to try to find the joy in slowing down. But I couldn't agree more. The simple joys. I love that you brought it in two camps so far because sometimes when I'm stressed out, I just take a walk around my one block. You're stressed out, and then somehow around a corner, all of a sudden you're like, "Oh, okay, I'm ready to go back in." It's a really weird thing how quickly our brain will shift if we give it the opportunity to experience a simple joy.
Amy Dickens 25:32
Yeah, it just needs that little simple moment. And I've been taking these miracle walks in the morning where I leave my front door and I say, "All right, I'm not going to come back until I find three miracles." And I'm like, okay, I know I only have time for a walk around the block, so it's about 10 minutes. And it expands your definition of what a miracle is. It's a little piece of dew at the end of a leaf, or some birds singing and flying in front of your face, or whatever it might be that you notice on that same block you've walked a million times. But that, in and of itself, is training yourself to look for the joy, the beauty, the good in the world in a place that you've been a million times.
Lesley Logan 26:06
Oh my god, Amy, what a great idea! That is so great.
Amy Dickens 26:08
It's so fun. I love it. I've been having so much fun with it. And then the other camp is, I'd say, those bigger joy moments. Like I love to look at my calendar before I fill it with as many calls and all of the things as I can, and say, okay, how can I plan moments of connection of things that fill my cup? Like I love singing and dancing, and if I were to fill my calendar with everything else, there's no time at the end for the things that really fill my cup that I love to do. So I started a few years ago just thinking, okay, a lot of them are just recurring, so they're just in my Google Calendar. It's like I know I go to choir at this time. I know I have dinner with my friends this day of the week right here, and you don't really move things unless it's absolutely necessary, and that keeps my cup consistently filled because I'm making sure, hey, there is time for me to have connection with other people, because I spend a lot of my time not with humans face to face right now. So it's important to build that human connection to the things that we love to do or exploring new things too. That's also something that I try to schedule in at least once a week. It's like, okay, a new networking thing, or can I have coffee with someone that I've never met before? Just kind of those little serendipity moments of let the magic in. Let's plan to be open to life surprising us rather than it just being like...
Lesley Logan 27:29
I love... I'm a big fan. I have this whole way of having your ideal dream schedule, and to me, dreams do come true. And ideal, obviously, not perfect. It just is the ideal thing. And I always talk about how your sleep and your workouts have to go in the calendar before anything else. And the things that bring you joy, they have to be in there because you're right. If we put everything else in first, there's no room. You can't squeeze joy in. So I think your big joy camps, the things that truly fill your cup, whether it is going to choir or going... Like some people want to go to the library. They love the smell of books. That you might have to schedule in and make sure it's there, so you're not going, "Oh my god, it's been three months since I went to a library." No, if it brings you joy, it should be happening so regularly so that you can actually get through all the shit, because there's gonna be shit.
Amy Dickens 28:15
Yeah, absolutely. Because I think that we don't realize that being joyful, it's like rocket fuel in our tank. I think we all know that, or I can call on an experience when you were feeling so joyful, so lit up, so radiant, and it was effortless to create and be inspired. And not that we have to be at that peak state all the time, you know. We still ebb and we flow. But if we consistently are filling our cup, then it's going to actually help us be more efficient, really, in the rest of our life.
Lesley Logan 28:46
I think so. I think so. You know, I think a lot of people, though... I interviewed Gay Hendricks on this pod, and his whole thing is that people have, you know, you're in your genius zone, and when getting in your genius zone, your zone of genius, you end up often upper-limiting because you're uncomfortable. Like you have a joyful moment, and then you kind of self-sabotage. How do we handle that pendulum swinging back and forth? Because we have to feel our feelings and we got to go through there. But how did you kind of allow yourself to just be in the joy, or did you ever self-sabotage out of the joy? I feel that's what a lot of our listeners struggle with, is they'll experience seeing something joyful and then they'll get a call that their friend got fired, or this bill came in, and it just sucks them right back down. And so it's how do you feel the feelings, but not lose the joy?
Amy Dickens 29:29
Yeah, absolutely. I definitely have a PhD in penduluming from one side to the other. They didn't even know they made up the degree for me. They were like, "Ah, yes, Amy, you got the Amy Dickens Award for penduluming between the two extremes so much." And I think that that was also a gift to learn how to stop penduluming and continuously pendulum back towards the joy to a balanced state in the middle, and life still gets lifey. That's not the whole thing with joy, is that it's like, yes, nothing ever happens to me. But when it does, I personally have a really deep belief now that I think really helps me, is like: don't take things personally. Life is happening for me, not to me. All of these things that have been so ingrained into who I am at this point that when life starts to get lifey... And I've also seen life fall apart so many times that I know it always works out. If it hasn't worked out yet, I just keep going, and eventually things will come back together. So I've noticed I've become a lot less dramatic. I was a very dramatic human. You know, like, "Oh my god, I lost a friend," and whatever it might be was just always felt like the end of the world to me, and it would suck all of the joy out of me. And I think I'm realizing, wow, those things are real and I do feel them deeply. And I'm a big crier, and I feel the things and I process, and I'm like: what is this here to teach me? How do I move through this? How do I regulate my nervous system through this? And realizing, wow, I have this one wild and precious life, and I'm gonna continue to choose the joy when it feels time. And I think a big part of that is also discernment. It's like gaining that wisdom of discernment that only we can have for ourselves. Only we can say, "I know that I'm done feeling this grief," or whatever it might be, anger, fear, "and it's time to shift myself into a different state." No one else can really tell you when it's time for that. I think that that's also just a trial and error thing, and learning to listen to the wisdom of our body and our intuition and ourself, and to trust ourselves to say, "Actually, I need to be sad right now, and that's okay, because I trust myself in that." And I also say not days like "I'm having a bad day," but "I'm having a bad moment," because then that leaves the next moment to be open to being something different. Because if we have the whole label on this day, then you've kind of already pre-decided, and it's okay to not have a joyful moment. It's a human experience.
Lesley Logan 32:04
Yeah, no, I agree. I mean, you're gonna have a loved one pass away, or a breakup's gonna happen, or you are gonna be disappointed on how a project went. But I do like that you get to label the moment, but not the whole day, or giving yourself that permission to feel that moment, but not let it take away from the little miracles you could see or feeling the feelings around it. You said not being so dramatic, and I think as someone with ADHD, and I attract a lot of people with that, what I've discovered is I think that drama that some of us kind of go to, that swinging back and forth... My team is like, "You're swinging back and forth from your microphone, stay there." But that swinging back and forth is a dopamine hit, right? We go dramatic and high because it kind of feels the thing that our brain survives off of. But if we can actually get our dopamine hits from some other places, then we don't have to go such a deep swing. It could be like, "Whoa, this moment really sucks. It's a good thing that's not personal, it's not about me. And somehow this is going to work towards my favor." I'm disappointed in this moment. We go walk around the block and feel that disappointment, and then hopefully... You just gave me some great ideas, and I learned so much about myself. Thanks, Amy.
Amy Dickens 33:20
I also had that. I'm seeing that as well. And there's a big part of the titration, you know, like when you're like, "Oh, it's a bad moment," and just having that moment of, oh... even if most of the day was bad, but you had like, oh, they were all just a bunch of bad moments, and then I had this one moment with a friend where I laughed for five minutes, and then I kind of sunk back down into it. But that little uplifting moment does so much for your capacity in your nervous system to continue to hold whatever it is that you're holding, that I don't think we really recognize to the fullness of it sometimes.
Lesley Logan 33:54
Yeah, I couldn't agree more. All right, I could talk to you forever about joy because this is just the most contagious thing. Thanks for spreading it here, but we're gonna take a brief break. I want to find out where we can get your book, and I think you've got some good Be It Action Items for us. I just have a feeling.
Amy Dickens 34:06
I'm so excited.
Lesley Logan 34:08
All right, Amy, where can people buy your book, 101 Ways to Spread Joy, and where do you hang out? Where are your joy parties? Tell us everything. How can we stalk you in a joyful place?
Amy Dickens 34:18
Absolutely, you can get the book, 101 Ways to Spread Joy. It's on Amazon. Amy Dickens. You can see all the rainbow color on it.
Lesley Logan 34:25
O h my god, it has a disco ball on it. I'm already in.
Amy Dickens 34:27
Everything I make has a disco ball. Always. I did it on accident.
Lesley Logan 34:31
Amy, are we friends that have never met? Like, we must be friends. I'm so into disco balls, it's unbelievable.
Amy Dickens 34:43
They're great. When the light hits a disco ball... I mean, biggest light hack.
Lesley Logan 34:46
Okay, Amy, I have a sequined kimono. You'll have to Google one. And just so you know, I bought it... I'm like, this is kind of ridiculous. It is so ridiculous. I did a whole photo shoot with it. But at any rate, I got it in my car, like I bought it at the store, and put it on to drive home because I'm like, I'm gonna wear it right now. I was my own disco ball in the car because the sun was shining so much, I was blinding my own self. I was like, "Oh my god, this is (inaudible).
Amy Dickens 35:09
All the cars next to you, they're like, "I can't see."
Lesley Logan 35:12
Yeah. So, anyways, I cut you off. Everything you create is a disco ball. So your book is where again, just in case I distracted people with my, Amazon, okay.
Amy Dickens 35:19
Amazon, easy peasy. Just go to Amazon, you can find it there.
Lesley Logan 35:22
Perfect. And then where do you hang out on socials? Where like where can they get a little joy boost?
Amy Dickens 35:26
Yeah, absolutely. You can find me on all the socials @theamydickens. If you want the first 10 pages to my book, you can get it for free on my website, livejoyfullyyou.com, and get a nice little taste of it. And if you're like, "Ooh, I like that, I'll do a little bit more," then you're totally welcome to do that. Yeah.
Lesley Logan 35:44
I mean, my goodness, you guys. I'm sure there's at least 101 days left in the year, but maybe more by the time you hear this. You could do one joyful spreading thing a day and see how you end up feeling. I imagine you'll feel more joy after spreading joy.
Amy Dickens 35:55
Oh, that's one of the secrets to life, is spreading joy and just being of service to making the world a better place, it's a huge life hack.
Lesley Logan 36:04
Yeah, I love that. Okay, you've given us some great tips already, and honestly, your book probably has some great bold, executable intrinsic or targeted steps that people can take. But what else do you have for us?
Amy Dickens 36:13
Yeah, I would say to give yourself permission to follow your joy, whatever big or little ways that might be, and to let yourself just kind of be brutally honest. Like, if I had no fear, what would that look like? And just journal it out, take a deep breath, be honest with yourself, write it all down, and then maybe say, "Okay, today, what would I feel like if I was 5% more alive right now? What would I do? What could that be?" And allow yourself to do that. It doesn't have to be like, I rewrite my whole story and I throw away all the things that are not working right now. But allow yourself to just take that little reframe of: Can I put five more percent of my time and energy into my joy? What would that look like? Because it's different for every single one of us. Something that brings joy to one person might not be the same thing for me or you or somebody else, and it's just so important because it's not something that you need to earn. It's something that you practice, and it continues to give back to you. I think some of us are waiting for joy to knock on our door, and it's a choice. We have to cultivate it and learn that. Yes, sometimes it does surprise us and say like, "Hey, I'm here," but it's a practice. It's a skill that we can learn to cultivate. And this is here to be your full permission slip to live this inspired, alive life that you're so worthy and deserving of, and to follow your joy and know that it's a way to creating the world to be a better place.
Lesley Logan 37:41
I love that. You are right. A lot of people are waiting for joy to hit them on the head, as opposed to... actually, no, joy is waiting for you to come to where it's at. You gotta come to it. You gotta go seek it out. You gotta go find the joyful moments. Oh, you're so good. This is so great. I'm really excited we had this conversation, Amy. Thank you so much for being you. Thank you for these wonderful Be It Action Items . Thank you for helping not just spread joy, but also you have such an amazing aura with your joy that this is like a fun conversation. I'm sure people are smiling, and they're going to have a more joyful day because they listened to this episode. So y'all have to go share this episode with a friend, probably the Eeyore one, so that they have joy, and this could be your point one to the 100 W ays to Spread Joy. Yeah, this is your pre-homework. All right, Amy, thanks so much for being you. And everyone else, until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Lesley Logan 38:33
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review, and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others be it till you see it. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of the Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @beitpod.
Brad Crowell 39:16
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your hosts Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 39:20
It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the Epic team at Decennio Co.
Brad Crowell 39:25
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Chofi.
Lesley Logan 39:32
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 39:35
Also to Angelina Herrico for adding all of our content to our website, and finally to Meredith Route for keeping us all on point and on time.
Lesley Logan opens this FYF episode with an honest admission that everything takes longer than you want it to, even when you trust it will work out. From there she turns to gratitude, celebrating the round six eLevate group and two students who reclaimed overhead exercises they had not done in years. Their success came from staying curious rather than assuming the door had already closed. It is a warm, grounded case for honoring the wins right in front of you.
If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.
In this episode you will learn about:
Episode References/Links:
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI
DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment
Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment
Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist
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Episode Transcript:
Lesley Logan 0:00
It's Fuck Yeah Friday.
Brad Crowell 0:01
Fuck yeah.
Lesley Logan 0:02
Get ready for some wins.
Lesley Logan 0:05
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 0:49
Hello, Be It babe. Welcome back to your Fuck Yeah Friday episode. These are kind of fun for me. I hope you're loving them. I would love to know if you're liking the new style, the new topic, the new "I need a moment," or if you preferred when I would rant about something I saw on the internet. I don't know. You let me know. This podcast is supposed to be for you. Otherwise, I'm just talking to myself. And by the way, I do that a lot because after this, I'm filming a YouTube episode, and then after that, I'm filming OPC classes. So I talk to myself a lot. So I would like to know if what I'm talking to myself about in this room is actually meaningful for you. So definitely let us know. You can send your wins in, or your topic suggestions or requests, to beitpod.com/questions. You can send anything there. And we've had lots of people go, "How do we support the show? We don't do Patreons." We got a lot going on. You can support the show a number of different ways. OPC, being a member of that is definitely one of the best ways you can support the show. That is the most meaningful, wonderful way to support this show. If that is something you're already doing, or if it's not and it's in the picture for you right now, another way to support the show is just subscribe on YouTube. You can subscribe to our show. You can subscribe to our Online Pilates Classes YouTube channel. Those are free. YouTube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses, and then the Be It Pod is its own handle, so you can check those out and subscribe. Those are free. That's a great way to support. Some people are like, "How do I support charities that have no money? You have time." "I don't have time." "Well, then you have friends who have got time." "I don't have..." You have people in your life you can donate your sheets to. There are ways to support if you don't have time and money and lots. Sometimes it's just telling people about the thing that you love, or the thing that you want to support, or the thing that needs support.
Lesley Logan 2:22
So, all right, my "I need a moment" for today. Honestly, I really don't like that, we know once you get to a certain age, you realize that everything takes longer than you want, but you don't want it to, right? Everything takes longer than it's supposed to, but you don't want it to, and so I'm just frustrated because everything, everything, everything, everything is just taking longer than I want. And I know it's all going to happen the way it's supposed to. I know it's all going to work out the way it's supposed to. I know, but I hate how long things are taking. Just a month ago, I had this one contract that we thought was done 17 times. That's how many times we thought it was done, it got kicked back, and it got kicked back, and it got kicked back, and just like, I want to check this off the sheet. Why is this taking so long? And then on top of that, I had this other thing that I was doing, and it was supposed to get here on this date, and then it was on that date, and then this date. And it's like, okay, you're stressing me out. Now you can see why I lie to you about when things are due, so that I can get it when it needs to be done. Because my goodness, if I told you the real date, you would miss the real date and you'd fuck me over. And so I just hate that everything takes longer than you want to. And even when you know it, it's still disappointing. It just is.
Lesley Logan 3:39
All right. So enough of the ranting. Enough of the "I need a moment." My win is that we are heading into the fifth weekend of eLevate. So round six is all their education will be done after this weekend, which is insane. They still have their assessments to do and things like that. We still have loads of fun to have with them with their final assessments. But the learning of 500-plus exercises, they will have wrapped that this weekend. And to have done six rounds of this and still love it, I think, not to still love it, but to be so excited for the next one, it's just, I feel really lucky to get to do what I do, and that people are enjoying it. And it's been a really busy work season for me. This year is a really head-down, get-the-work-done year between the upLift beta program, getting things ready for the educators to apply this in the fall, and just really a lot going on there. And to be able to be present for all of my different projects is a massive win. And to just take a moment to celebrate what the round six peeps have done is important. And I'm really proud of them. I'm proud of the team. During their program, we had one of our major players on maternity leave and a new teammate come on, and I'm just so proud of the work that they have been doing together to make sure that program is as enjoyable as when it's been past team members and things like that. So they're just great. I'm really, really grateful, and what a win! So, yeah, I'm sitting here in a lot of gratitude for what I get to do, and really proud of that.
Lesley Logan 5:27
So the two wins I want to celebrate came through our spring training. We had two different people in two days have success doing overhead exercises that have been outside of their practice for years. And so, ladies, you know who you are. One gave a shout-out on Wednesday afternoon, and one on Thursday morning, end of the spring training event. And their wins are because they showed up for themselves. They were curious. They were focusing on the connections, and they didn't get in their head about, "Well, I haven't been able to do that in two years, so I can't do it today, so I'm not even going to try." They were listening to all the different teachers and all the different classes ahead of them, and really getting involved in it, getting interested in it, getting into it. And then because of that, they were able to listen to their body and go, "You know, maybe I'm going to try ." And I just want to say thanks for trusting us. And then, on top of that, thanks for celebrating and sharing with us, so we could celebrate you. It's really easy to compare yourself to your old self, to the body you used to have, and the things and exercises you used to be able to do, and then not take the win when you have it because, well, three years ago you could do that, and then some. And that's how the world would want you to do it, right? That's how people are raised. It's like, "Well, of course, you should be able to do that by now," and that's bullshit to me. To me, we will have exercises and abilities that will go in and out of our lives. Some will be in and out. Some will be out forever. Some will be in forever. We have to celebrate what we can do. We have to take a moment to do that each and every day because it's already hard. Life's already hard. So thank you to my ladies in spring training who shared their overhead success with us. It was fun for us to celebrate with you those classes, and I've just been thinking a lot about you as I've been recording wins for this month, and I just had to shout you out because I'm really proud and impressed by you. So thanks so much.
Lesley Logan 7:26
All right, send your wins in, my loves, to beitpod.com/questions so you can hear it on a day you need to. And your mantra for the weekend is I am lightening my load. I am lightening my load. I am lightening my load. Yes. So if you are feeling like lots of things are exiting your life right now, it's because you're lightening your load. So let it. Thank you so much, my love. Share our podcast with friends who need to hear it. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Lesley Logan 7:54
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 8:36
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 8:41
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 8:46
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 8:53
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 8:56
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
In part four of the Permission to Change series, Lesley Logan reframes changing your niche as recognizing the superpower you already have. She walks through a simple self-awareness map built on three buckets, your values, your skills, and your interests, and shows how the overlap points to work that feels aligned instead of forced. She shares how her own experience shaped the way she built OPC and Agency.
If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.
In this episode you will learn about:
Episode References/Links:
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI
DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment
Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment
Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist
Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey
Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/
FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/
Resources:
Follow Us on Social Media:
Episode Transcript:
Lesley Logan 0:00
You need to understand that you are not starting over. You're not restarting. You are refining because you have years of accumulated wisdom. You have years of achievements, years of data that you have survived every one of your bad days.
Lesley Logan 0:16
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 0:59
Welcome back to Be It, babe, but we are talking Permission to Change again this week. We're going a little deeper. This is a little more nuanced. This hopefully gives you some questions to ask yourself when it comes to finding your superpower and what it is that you do, so you don't have to start all over. Because oftentimes it's not actually that we have to start all the way over; we often just have to maybe even just redefine our title, or redefine who we're reaching out to, or who we're inviting into our lives based on having, like, "Oh, hold on, this is what actually lights me up," or "This is what people love about me." We've had some really great guests on the show who are all StrengthsFinder coaches. There was a woman we had recently in the last year who I loved so much out of Utah, and then there was a guy out of Texas that I really, really liked. When you understand what your superpowers are, it really helps you sometimes relook at what your role is. Sometimes that means you get to stay in that role, but you just have different responsibilities. And sometimes you have to totally leave, right? Or you actually just do a lateral change. Like my neighbor, he actually took a lateral promotion because he really wanted to be working on developing people's skill sets in the business versus always talking about the data. So that's really cool.
Lesley Logan 2:17
The guest we had, she talked about how she found herself really wanting to be a support tool, showing people where they could grow, what their superpowers were, as opposed to doing the actual day-to-day work. For me, in the last episode, I talked about how I had created a niche that I wanted to explore out of, and the reality is, because I figured out what my superpower was in that role, it allowed me to apply it to another job. So I didn't get to stay in that job. I got to apply it to my personal, my Profitable Pilates business where I coach people. Because what I'm super, super good at is helping people achieve what their goals are, right? So I want you to have ways of kind of figuring that for yourself, because it may actually allow you to see, "Oh, maybe I'm spending too much time in the areas that are not in alignment, and this other area over here that is in alignment, if I could just spend more time there, I could actually continue on doing things and be in more alignment." Look, I love that you listen to this podcast, seeking out support and inspiration and answers, and that's awesome. And I hope you keep doing that. Also, sometimes we're too often looking outside ourselves for the right answer or the next trend or the perfect formula. I see this all the time in the Pilates industry. Everyone's chasing whatever is going to get them more views instead of talking about what they do best, because most of them don't know. We ask people all the time, "Who do you help? How do you help people? What's your superpower in that?" And they're like, "I help everybody with everything." No way, no fucking way, no way. There has got to be people you would not help. Would you help people who don't want to listen? Okay, well then you don't help everybody, right?
Lesley Logan 4:05
Do you help people who don't want to do private sessions or don't want to do group sessions? No, you actually do have a niche. You do have something in there. So I really want us to, I hope that this gives you some permission to recognize that you can curate your own space by going inward and really asking yourself some deep questions that could help you see that you're a badass, right? I did an episode with Balanced Body's podcast called Pilates Perspectives. It came out in June of 2026, so this year. I hope you listen to it because we talk about how, like Joy says, I created a niche within a niche, and I was like, "Yeah." I really created what I needed because it didn't exist, or at least if it did exist, I didn't feel welcome. And I hope this episode gives you permission to curate and create what it is that you need, so that you can show up the way that you want to in full alignment. Okay?
Lesley Logan 5:00
I think it's really easy, people look at what I do, and they're like, "Oh my God, she was just all-knowing. She's like I don't know, like I was dropped out of outer space and exactly what I'm doing." But I really did create it, and I created OPC based on like, I was traveling a lot, and I wanted my people to have a way to take class when I was traveling, but I also didn't want them to lose what it is that they loved about in-person classes. That's how I created OPC to be different than what's out there. I created Agency, Profitable Pilates as a space not for franchise owners of 70 studios, but for the single to one or two studios, like the homeowner, home business to single studio or two-studio business owner because they were being left out.
Lesley Logan 5:47
The business advice out there is all bro-style, all about KPIs and numbers, and not at all about impact, right? So I created what is needed in the world. Those people, those studio owners need that kind of support because, yes, they can make good money impacting great people. But if they're only listening to the business coaches out there, it's based on churn. It's actually accepting the fact that people are not going to stick around. I want your people to stick around, so I actually want you to have client retention. I want you to get them the benefits that they want. So I am one of those people who sees what's out there and then makes it my own. If you remember my decoupage shoe story, I saw painted shoes and I was like, "Oh, I could do that with this thing, and then that would solve this problem over here." So I'm not an inventor, but I am definitely someone who can spiral out a good idea to help a group of people who don't feel accepted in that, who don't feel seen, right? Like in the Pilates Perspectives podcast, I talked about how I became a Pilates instructor. At the time, it was very weird to not be a dancer and be a Pilates instructor. So I just, now it's not weird at all, but back then it was so weird, and I felt embarrassed, and so I really had to. I became a teacher who clients who didn't feel like they belonged in those spaces could be with, and then that led to teachers feeling like they could be safe in my space, and that led to this. Not that there's anything wrong with the dance teachers at all, that's not what I'm saying. But, you know, we all can't make everyone feel seen. Some of us are better off at making certain people who are who we once were feel the most seen.
Lesley Logan 7:30
So, how do you go inward and get into a self-awareness map, if you will, to figure out what unique things you have, so you can get alignment? Okay, so you're going to have three different little circles or groupings that you're going to do. So the first one is values. So when you go into your values—and we actually in Profit Pilates have a great course on how to figure out what your values are. You can actually buy it. It's a really fun little tool that you can do, a little strategy you can do, but your values, right? What are your values? So I want you to think of wherever in your life that you're trying to change, right? So if it's a friendship role or a family role, what are your personal life values? Or if it's a role in a job that you have or in your business, what are your business values, right? What are those values, and then when you have those down, it's going to help you really understand why you're going to say no to things. Because if things don't align with your values, it's not going to work. Now, how do you use those values to find life alignment? Well, I want you to kind of think about if you are in your values, you are actually protecting your peace, your honesty, and your nervous system, right? And your values will have probably changed from today than 10 years ago. So if you haven't done this in a while, it's probably time to update them. But when you look at those values, it's really going to be helpful to go, "Okay, so in the area of my life that I'm trying to change, in the niche that I'm wanting to realign, what about it is out of alignment of these values?" This way, you're going to understand what you should be avoiding, and then also what about it is in alignment with my values. So then you're not throwing the friendship, the job, the event, the thing, the routine out the window. You're going, "Okay, I can keep this part, but this part has to change," and then you can use your values in a way to figure out how that's going to change, right? Or you can ask questions, or you can sit and pause and percolate on it. But you can also just say, "Hey, moving forward, I'm absolutely down with these three things that I said I would do. These two things over here, I'd love to meet with you to see how we can find a new way of doing them, right? Because they're just feeling misaligned."
Lesley Logan 11:18
Or maybe there is something that people are needing that would tap into your weird skills, right? Maybe you're really good at listening. Maybe you're really good at organizing. Write them down.
Lesley Logan 11:29
Next bucket, I want you to write down your interests. So if it's business, if it's what you do, what are you the most interested in? I have people who are so interested when they come to get coaching from me. I'm like pelvic floor, scoliosis, neurological conditions, osteoporosis. Great, write it down and then go back through. Do you have all the skill sets you need for that? No. Okay, that's on your to-do list. Okay, how does it align with your values? All these things go together, right? What are the world's interests? Like, what are the people in the communitywhat are their interests? Because you want to know what your interests are, and then what are their interests? Because there's going to be a happy little medium, and that's where you're going to plant yourself, right? What do you naturally research or talk about, or what do you do when no one's paying attention or no one's paying you, right? Those are your interests.
Lesley Logan 12:17
Okay, so when you can get these things written down, and you can look at them, and you can start to see, "Okay, this is where these overlap. This is where I'm missing some stuff. This is where this is going on. Oh, my interest is this thing over here, but their interest is this thing over here." Okay, whoa, they feel really far apart. Is there a place where those two things overlap in one sliver? It's a little sliver, right? Like if you like Italian and someone likes Mediterranean, there is a sliver of overlap in those two things, right? So, how can you put all this down and then take a moment to see? This is your self-awareness tool. This is how you're going to figure out how to continue to align yourself in things that make sense for you. This is how you're going to start to change things, because if you base things on your values, it becomes a really great filter. If you say yes or raise your hand for things that are within the skill sets that you like and overlap with your interests, oh my gosh, you're going to feel like everything is something that's enjoyable and not a heavy lift even on bad days.
Lesley Logan 13:24
So you, my love, you need to understand that you are not starting over. You're not restarting, you're refining, because you have years of accumulated wisdom. You have years of achievements, years of data that you have survived every one of your bad days. And we know everything evolves, and we let other people change their minds and other people do new things. We've got to allow ourselves to pivot because we're not throwing away our past. We are taking every lesson, every communication skill, every ounce of confidence we've ever had, and we're channeling it into something that's lighter and better focused, that's in alignment.
Lesley Logan 14:09
And so, I know it's hard when you're a professional overachiever, but I want you to normalize taking some action, some imperfect action, something messy, because that is how you're going to get clarity in your refinement. If you try to plan this entire pivot out, this realignment out without actually taking steps, it is not going to work out because you're not going to be getting to collect data along the way, right? Just like when we do Pilates, I don't watch someone stand still to see if they're aligned. I could, but I actually watch them move because it lets me see: is there any part of that movement they find alignment that they work with balance, or oh no, they always are imbalanced? So that's exactly why when they're standing still, right? We find alignment when we move. You will find alignment in taking action. You will find clarity, and you're refining who you are. So, full permission here granted to refine who you are, to be more aligned with what feels good to you. And I would love to hear the changes that you make, or the things you discover, the values and interests that became more clear. Just send it to thebeitpod.com/questions. You can send your wins in there as well. We'll celebrate you on Fridays. And my love, I hope you like the series. I hope it's helpful for you or a friend in your life. Please share it, and that is how this podcast grows. And until next time, Be It Till You See It .
Lesley Logan 15:38
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 16:21
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your hosts Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 16:25
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 16:30
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 16:37
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 16:40
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
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