Be It Till You See It

It's Fuck Yeah Friday, and Lesley Logan is fired up. This week she's celebrating a big one: teaching over 300 people Pilates at Electric Daisy Carnival in 98-degree heat, something that scared her and thrilled her in equal measure. She gets honest about the nerves, the things weighing on all of us right now, and why you have to keep celebrating the good you're doing.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Lesley's relatable rant about apps that change without asking.
• The real reason your nervousness might be a good sign.
• Why having people in your corner actually matters.
• How celebrating wins changes how your whole week feels.
• A simple weekend mantra to carry you through hard days.

Episode References/Links:

• @mymarialoisa - https://www.instagram.com/mymarialoisa
• EDC Las Vegas - https://www.electricdaisycarnival.com
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:48  

Hey, Be It babe, welcome to your Fuck Yeah Friday. I'm a little fired up today, to be honest, a lot of things this year. So, let's get into it. If you're new to the Be It Pod, we do interviews and recaps on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I've been doing some more solo episodes, and you guys have been loving that, so we'll get more into that. If there's a topic I'm gonna do, you got to tell me, because I want to make sure these are fun for you. Then, on Fridays, I have an "I need a moment," I give a win, I share one of yours, and that is how we end our week, because my loves, if you are not celebrating the wins that you have in a week, it can just feel like everything is just really hard. 

Lesley Logan 1:21  

So, my "I need a moment" and an "I need a moment" is something that we do in our communities for our eLevate members who are in our mentorship program and our Agency members who are in our business coaching program, and there's a channel where they get to rant, but they have to go share a win. So this is where I get to rant. So my rant is that everyone thinks that they should update their platforms without asking, "What do I want?" I was just going to do this work right now, and it took me six minutes to get started instead of the regular one, because my platform that I use is like, "Oh, we're gonna change your button note that tells you where all your work is. We're gonna hide it under those three dots, it's my work." I need it to be where it needs to be, a button where I can see it, and it's like, oh, there's a button where you can go, "Would you like to go back to your original profile?" Yeah, yeah, I would. 

Lesley Logan 2:11  

And you know what I also don't like? My freaking tool that we use for projects, which I'm not gonna put on blast here, because we do love them, but I'm a little mad at them. You did this the same week that Slack also made updates, and Slack is like, "Oh, look at this new way of doing it here," as if it's easier. It's not. It's still showing me I have an unread thing, and I go to the unread, and I can't find it. So, my rant is that I should be the only reason why I'm behind, not the platforms, not the platforms. Okay, more to say on that, but I just feel like this is the elder millennial talking, right? 

Lesley Logan 2:44  

My win is, okay, this is a big win, and normally our Fuck Yeah Fridays are little wins, but my win is, you guys, I taught over 300 people at the Electric Daisy Carnival! Yes, EDC, Las Vegas, they invited me to teach. I was so freaking nervous to do it. Over 300 people did it in 98 degrees under a tent with misters, and then they did a family photo, and it was just freaking me on. And my dream of more bodies doing Pilates is really coming true, because of course I love doing the conventions that we do, and things like that, but more importantly, I want non-teachers to get to do Pilates. That's why OPC exists. Of course we have lots of teachers who take on it, and you should, because it is a place for you to have your personal practice.

Lesley Logan 3:26  

But I really also want to do these big events where I'm going to people who have never done Pilates or have only heard of Pilates a little bit, and so it was just a massive win. And I looked so good. It's another win. My hair looked amazing, my outfit was amazing. If you hear a panting dog, that's our foster, Darla, so she'll be another win later on in the program. So, anyways, that's my win. I put myself on a big stage that scared the fuck out of me, and I loved it, and I can't wait to do it again. And there definitely are talks for next year. 

Lesley Logan 3:55  

So now that we've celebrated me, actually, let me just put a little thing on that. You guys, you really should put yourself in situations that scare the fuck out of you. You should. The whole drive there, Brad's like, "Are you okay?" I'm like, "I'm really nervous right now. I'm so nervous because this is something I really care about. I really want to do a good job. I want to be asked back. I want these people to love the type of Pilates that I teach," which I think is really important and really good. "But I'm nervous that they're not going to like me, or that no one's gonna show, because it's so hot, and they put me on at 1 o'clock and it's so hot." And so we called my publicist, who's a dear friend, and we told her what we were doing, and she got appropriately excited, and started screaming, and getting so excited for me. So, thank you, Allison, for being you. I would just say, everyone, make sure that you have people in your corner that you can celebrate, or at least talk to when you're feeling a little nervous, because other people in my life are great, but I needed someone to get appropriately excited so that I could get out of my nervous energy and my nervous head. So, get that in your life, right? That might be another win. It's scary, but it's good. 

Lesley Logan 4:53  

Okay, your win. But, anyways, yeah, go be a beginner. All right, so this is also on the same theme. @mymarialoisa, she said, "I'm beginning classical Pilates instructor training with Lesley Logan, dream come true." Have to find out in the next episode what that means. All right, loves, as you know, we must do a mantra. Also, you should send your wins in, send your wins in, because @mymarialoisa is going to hear this on a day that she's probably stressed out about that program that she's doing with me, and you need to hear a win that you had in the past, so you can go, "Oh, I'm doing new things, I can do hard things. I had a win a couple weeks ago, so this day is going to be better," because, oh my god, life is really fucking hard, isn't it hard? It's hard. There's a lot going on. 

Lesley Logan 5:36  

I was just talking to my, I'm just gonna ramble for a second before I give you your mantra. I saw my client this morning, and she's like, "How is everything going? How's Electric Daisy Carnival?" And I told her how great it was, because she's been to it and she loves it, and so we're talking about it, and I was like, "Yeah, it was so fun." And then, Ebola is out on outbreak. There's all these things going on, so it's really important that we take a moment to celebrate the things we are doing, because there is a lot for our nervous system to deal with on a daily basis, and you are doing good things, so I love that, Maria. Thank you for sending your win in. You can send your wins in to the beitpod.com/questions. You can also send in topics you want me to do two or more episodes on, my opinion, things like that. 

Lesley Logan 6:18  

Your mantra for the weekend is: I'm a source of kindness to myself. I am a source of kindness to myself. You are a source of kindness to yourself, my love. My love, share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Send your wins in, go celebrate yours, tag me in your wins if you want to do that. That's super fun. I want to celebrate you. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan 6:37  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 7:20  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 7:25  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 7:29  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 7:36  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 7:40  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In part two of the Messy Action series, Lesley Logan reframes messy action as something you reach for first, not a backup plan or a last resort. She explains why holding out for the right conditions quietly keeps you stuck, and what it really takes to move forward when you cannot see every step ahead. Lesley also shares honest stories about how small daily practices helped her push past fears and grow her Pilates business.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Acting ‘as if’ filters your choices through who you want to be.
• How starting with 25% of the plan beats waiting for perfection.
• Lesley's messy studio opening and why clients loved the evolution.
• The power of smaller steps and running a nervous system check.
• Why building a small win stack keeps your momentum going daily.

Episode References/Links:

• The As If Principle by Richard Wiseman - https://a.co/d/0b99DSxo
• Ep. 694 Stuck Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep694
• Ep. 695 Stuck Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep695
• Ep. 613 Habit Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep613
• Ep. 614 Habit Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep614
• Ep. 616 Habit Series 3 - https://beitpod.com/ep616
• Ep. 617 Habit Series 4 - https://beitpod.com/ep617
• Ep. 619 Habit Series 5 - https://beitpod.com/ep619
• Ep. 620 Habit Series 6 - https://beitpod.com/620
• Ep. 622 Habit Series 7 - https://beitpod.com/ep622
• Ep. 623 Habit Series 8 - https://beitpod.com/623
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Messy action isn't what you do when you don't know what you're doing, it's how you figure it out. 

Lesley Logan 0:04  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:47  

All right, Be It babe. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we do take messy action, and after 700 episodes, I hit my elbow on the thing, so I think that's perfect for the topic today. Because, my goodness, if you think you're supposed to be perfect after 700 episodes, you are mistaken, because you are a human being. I'm a human being, and we are all over here just trying to do the best we can. And if that's all you take away from this episode, that is enough. But we are on our messy action theme. So, on Tuesday, if you didn't listen to that episode we talked about stuck and how that can affect you taking action. Then we had a theme two or three weeks ago, maybe more, on what's keeping you stuck, and so the reality is that there's a lot of different things that keep us stuck, and we are often the reason why. We are often the one that gets in our own way. We blame it on other people, but it's typically usually us. It's our nervous system, it's our protection mode, it's our fear of responsibility, failure, judgment, all the things. So I want to talk about how messy action is a strategy. It's not just throwing things to the wall and seeing what sticks, although that can be it. It's actually more of a mantra to get you to take the first next step. So it's not a backup plan, it's not a last resort. I really think that's important to say, because most plans don't go the way that you expect, but if you have this idea that it doesn't have to be perfect, I just have to keep the next step going, then you will actually realize that you're not on a plan B or C. You're just working the first plan and following it with the momentum that it's getting, following the flow of the river. If a river hits a rock, it doesn't go, "Oh, I must stop." It goes around the rock, right? It goes on the next thing. It creates. It creates the Grand Canyon, so we keep going where it wants to go. So truly, messy action is the way forward. I love this: messy action isn't what you do when you don't know what you're doing, it's how you figure it out. It's not what you do when you don't know what you're doing, it's how you figure it out. So, instead of us reframing it like, "I don't know what to do here, so let's just throw this at the wall and see what happens," no, no, I gotta figure out what I gotta do, so let me try this over here. It's an experiment, right? If you skip ahead to the lovely intro, I like to listen to the intro on 1.5 speed, I'm not gonna lie, I like music that fast, but be it till you see it is identity through action, that's what it is. It's acting as if. There's a really good book called The As If Principle, and so if you act as if, then someday you will just become the as, the person, who you want to be, because you're practicing being that person. You're filtering things and decisions through the person you want to be. What would that person do if I was already that person? As opposed to waiting, which we already talked about in the last episode, how waiting is exhausting, it's annoying, it's frustrating. So messy action is really just normalizing imperfection.

Lesley Logan 3:22  

It means starting with 50% or 25% of the plan in mind. You know what the destination is, you don't really know the steps right before it, but you know that if you take these steps right here, you might get there. It's kind of like when they went off to see the Wizard. They're like, "It's that way," and they didn't know that there was a forest of apples and a bunch of monkeys that they were going to, but they could see it in the distance, and they could see the road right in front of them, and that's what they did. That's what starting with messy action is. It is posting before you think that the post is actually perfect, because I'll actually tell you that social media doesn't care if it's perfect. It's actually a waste of time, just put things up there. It is learning in real time. You get to be a learner. I'm still learning Pilates, and I've been teaching it for 20 years. I'm still learning. It's trying things out and adjusting as you have more information. That's taking messy action. Because having the perfect plan, let me tell you, things change. We taught at EDC. Let me tell you how much of that they had figured out to the T, who has what radio, who has what wristband, which wristband can go with what. Everything was well thought out, and then the weather sends it over 100 degrees. Okay, we've got misters. All right. Oh, now the weather is going to be 56 degrees, and the wind is going to go freaking crazy. You can plan everything to a T, and then the wind blows. So it's actually learning in real time. Okay, what can I do? What can I do? What can I do? We always talk about how if you want to support this podcast, you should be an OPC member. At OPC, we actually tell you it's brave and courageous to replace what you can't do yet with something you can do, and in doing that, you're constantly asking yourself, "Okay, what can I do? What can I do? What can I do? I can't do this, what can I do instead?" When you have that as a muscle in your brain, it allows you to take messy action more quickly, more easily, and just try it out. Oh, that was actually too hard for you today. Oh, that was actually exactly what I needed. Great, now you know. Messy action is not being reckless, it's being real. It's doing what needs to be done right now, and it definitely gets ruined if you're trying to be perfect. 

Lesley Logan 5:20  

So, okay, I've told this story before, but I don't think I've told it in this context, and maybe you're new and you haven't heard it. In 2018, early 2018, I realized I needed to open my own studio. I never thought I would, didn't really want to. I liked the freedom of renting, but that freedom was getting hampered because the studio was getting busier, and so for me to film and record my tutorials, I had to go later and later at night. I don't like the evening. I was having a hard time recording at home because, one, I only had room for the mat, and two, they were doing construction all day long. And it was just really annoying to constantly move our furniture around in our studio apartment so I could film, and I wanted to add reformer classes. So if I wanted to add reformer classes, I needed to open my own studio. So I thought I had this perfect plan. I knew the location I wanted. I ordered the equipment that I wanted. I had the perfect move-in date. I told the studio that was being run by some friends of mine when I was going to leave. I was like, "Let me stay until it's time, till my equipment arrives." And guess what? I didn't get to wait till my equipment arrived. They didn't like that, and so luckily I had the keys to the space. We had hung some stuff on the wall, and I texted all of my clients, "Hey, we're going to be here tomorrow, starting tomorrow. This is so exciting. Here's where you're going to come."

Lesley Logan 6:38  

And on the first day, I didn't have a trash can, didn't even have a trash can for them. They're like, "Where do I put this paper towel?" And I'm like, "Oh yeah, right over there, just in that box. I'm gonna go get a trash can on my next break." I also borrowed a Reformer from a friend, and I borrowed a Ped-O-Pull from a friend. I was just asking people, like, "Hey, what extra things do you have while I wait for my stuff to show up?" And then every day, Brad and I would try to put the studio more and more together, hit a Bed Bath & Beyond up with my coupons, and got the things that I needed. Got a fan, got a trash can, waited for a chair to come, it took forever, so it was frustrating, because I wanted my clients to move into this perfect studio. Guess what? They actually loved being part of the evolution. They actually thought it was fun to see every time they came in what new things we've done to the studio, what new equipment had arrived, what pieces had arrived. And so, yeah, I was embarrassed that I wasn't able to finish out my time at the other studio, but if I had let that drive the decisions I was making, I would not have been able to see what delight my clients took in being part of the journey, being part of the creation, letting me know, "Oh, I like that over there. Oh, actually, let's put that. Have you tried that over there?" It was so fun to let them help me decorate, so it was actually one of the coolest things that ever happened. And I'm really grateful, because my clients actually got really excited about the Ped-O-Pull because they had to use the Ped-O-Pull for 30 minutes, because that's all we had. It was just a lot of fun, and I would have missed out on that memory and that challenge, and how it made my brain have to force itself to be creative in that situation. 

Lesley Logan 8:13  

So, how do you do that? What would help you take messy action? Well, make the next step smaller. Can you do it in two minutes? Make it one step only, so it's not like, "Oh, I got to build my website with messy action." No, I need to order, buy the URL. Okay, I need to look at platforms where I can run a website. Okay, I need to choose a platform that I like. Oh, actually, before I do that, I need to compare the platforms, right? Like, what do I want them to do? Don't put "build your website" on your daily tasks, because that's too overwhelming. Can I make it fun, right? For my ADHD people: put music on, add movement to it, set a timer. I love a timer. I have a little kitchen timer on my desk, and it's really helpful for me when I'm feeling stuck and I just need to take action. I'm like, "Okay, I only have to work on this for the next 15 minutes," right? And that really helps me just get going, because I only have 15 minutes, so I'm just gonna do the best I can. I would also say remove the planning loops. You probably have planned enough already. Take the first step in your plan, but if taking an action just feels too big, it's because it's too big, right? So, you got to make it as small as possible. Go back to our habit series if you want to understand what that means and why that's important. Especially for my people who need the dopamine high to keep going, gotta make it small, gotta make it achievable. The other thing I would just say is make sure you're doing nervous system checks. You know, are you breathing? You start to hold your breath while you're thinking about doing something. There's a lot of fear that we got to breathe through. It's gonna be really hard to take action if we are holding our breath. And if your nervous system is feeling overloaded, overwhelmed, say it out loud. It's really, really helpful. Like, Brad and I will be working on something, and sometimes I'm like, "Oh my god, I'm just having, I'm actually scared, I'm having too much emotion around this right now," and it really does help to call that out, and to go, "Okay." Because why am I doing that? What's the fear that I'm having there? Is the fear that I'm having around this because I have a fear of responsibility, fear of judgment, fear of failure? Okay, so what is coming up? Because a lot of times it's just stuff that's in our head from our past experiences, or the way we were raised, and we can get in our own way when those things didn't even exist. We just made a story up. So it's really important that you're doing a nervous system check, that you have people around you that you can go, "Hey, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Can I tell you what's going on?" And their job is not to be like, "Oh, you're fine." Their job is to go, "Sure, what's going on?" And then not give you 17 pieces of advice. It's to remind you to take messy action, and you can do this, right? I was having a little anxiety getting ready for something. I talked about this in an FYF. My husband's like, "Oh, let's call these people," and I was like, "Absolutely not. Those people are not going. I love those people. They're great people. Those people are not going to make me feel better in this situation. They're going to make me feel more nervous. So, who else can we call?" So, he called someone else who screamed with joy and exclamation, which really got me out of my head, right? So, maybe the first thing you do for your messy action is write down who do you call when you need a reminder to take messy action. So this is a hopefully good reminder. You're not forcing yourself into action, you are supporting yourself into action. Not forcing yourself into messy action, you are supporting yourself into messy action. 

Lesley Logan 11:33  

Well, you know, at this podcast we really love to celebrate little wins, right? Sometimes I have a big win that we share, but typically they're like we're in the process of something, and so what's really important for me to help you understand when it comes to messy action, you have to build momentum, which means having a small win stack. So every single day, what did you do that day that we can celebrate? Because if we're waiting until you finish the project, like for example, building the website, we're gonna be waiting for a fucking long time, six to eight weeks at least, right? Longer if you don't know what you're doing, so how can we be like, "I bought the URL," and make that super fun, and take people on the journey so they can share with you? The momentum is built in moments, not masterpieces. And so, yes, it's really beautiful to look at the sculpture when it's done, but mostly sculptures take years to do, and if artists only celebrated when it was done, that's not the best way. I would say they need to celebrate along the way, because it makes them enjoy the process. You're gonna enjoy the process more. So, this whole podcast is about being it until you see it, and the only way to be it until you see it is to act as if, which means you're not gonna know how to do it perfectly, because you're not her yet. You're being it until you see it to be who that person is. You don't know who it is, you're guessing, and so the only way that we can do that is to take the messy action, take some action, because it's the antidote to fear, it's how we get clarity. And if you really do think about, if you really do embody, be it till you see it, then you would be asking yourself, "Okay, the version of me that I want to be, what would they be doing right now?" Well, they would be doing this thing. Okay, then I go do that thing. They wouldn't be scared of that, right?

Lesley Logan 13:05  

For example, I remember when I was first starting the brands, and I was just getting really overwhelmed by all that I had to do, all the decisions I had to make, and I heard this person say, "CEOs don't put out every fire, they know which fires to put out." And I was like, "Oh, I'm the CEO of this company." I'm not now, thank God, I am the Chief Pilates Officer, the CVO, Chief Visionary Officer, but at the time I was the only employee for the company, and I was like, "Okay, I'm not supposed to put out every fire, I'm supposed to know which fires to put out. So if I was a CEO, what fires would I know are the ones to put out?" And just by acting like I knew what I was doing, I was like, "Oh, it's this one over here," right? That's it. That's the thing. So you're just gonna keep practicing what this whole podcast is about, be it till I see it. Ask that version of you, what would she do? What action would she take? She wouldn't be getting in her own way, you know that. And here's the deal: every time you take action, you actually prove to yourself that you can do it. You teach yourself what's possible, and that's how you build confidence. It's not by waiting. We do not build confidence through waiting. In fact, we actually chip away at our confidence every time we delay taking action on the thing we want to do. We do. It's how it works. It's how it works. So, my loves, now that we know you're not stuck, and we know you're not unmotivated, and we know you're not behind, you've just been waiting to feel ready, waiting with a little fear, waiting until things are perfect. But we're not doing that anymore, because the be it till you see it version of you would take the messy action. 

Lesley Logan 13:51  

So, I want to know which action you're going to take. What's your first next step? Send it in to the beitpod.com/questions. Send in what you're needing more advice and support on when it comes to be it till you see it. What's a topic or an expert you need to hear from to help you know what next steps to take? What's another subject we could do a solo episode on? You ask me, we'll create it for you. That's what this podcast is all about, because I'm here to help you be it till you see it, because that's what I'm working on. We're all in this together. You're not alone. So send this to a friend who needs to hear it. And until next time, say it with me, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 15:16  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 15:59  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 16:03  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 16:08  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 16:15  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 16:18  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Feeling ready is a myth, and waiting for it quietly keeps your dreams stuck. In Part 1 of this two-part series on messy action, Lesley Logan unpacks why so many of us stall before we start and what fear is really doing underneath the surface. She blends personal stories with practical honesty about beginning before everything feels in place. If you have been waiting to feel ready, this episode is your nudge to start.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Feeling ready is a myth that keeps you procrastinating.
• The hidden fears that quietly keep you stuck.
• Why ADHD makes you freeze and the simple fix that helps.
• Perfect timing is an illusion and the 2020 move that proves it
• Taking one brave step without blowing up your life.

Episode References/Links:

• Ep. 694 Stuck Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep694
• Ep 3 with Rob Mack - https://beitpod.com/ep3
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

When you wait and you're afraid to take action, it does make you feel safe, but waiting keeps your dreams safe, and also keeps them stuck, which means it keeps you stuck. 

Lesley Logan 0:12  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:54  

All right, be it, babe. How are you? Oh my gosh, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. This week, instead of an interview, it's me. Both episodes, we're actually talking about messy action, and we love messy action around here, because it's in the intro. If you're new to our podcast, sometimes we have interviews and recaps, and lately we've been adding these solo episodes in, and hopefully you're liking them. We'd love to hear topics that you want us to have interviews on, or that you want us to get some solo episodes on, if you want to hear my opinion on things, stories, things like that. That's why we're doing this, because people asked. So, here's the deal. I'm a recovering perfectionist and overachiever, and that means that I try to do things way before I'm ready, but I didn't used to be that way. I used to be someone who had to make sure everything was in perfect order before I would do the thing, which actually just meant that I was honestly procrastinating, because the reality is feeling ready is a myth. In fact, oftentimes when we feel ready, it's because the thing we want to do is no longer scary, because it's no longer we're the only one doing it. In fact, other people are doing it so much now, I just feel safe. And then it's like, well, do we miss our boat? Do we miss our chance? And the arguments would be that, no, you should just do the thing because you're the only person who can do what you do the way you want to do it, but if you're waiting to feel ready, you'll be waiting a long time, and then really we've missed the opportunity to do the thing, because there are lessons that we will learn in our quest to feel ready to actually get there. And so to be honest, we know ready is a myth, and we also know that if readiness was required, no one would ever begin, because being a beginner is scary. And when we see people who are beginners, we see them make mistakes, and we don't go, "Oh, what a beginner." We're like, "Oh my god, look at them doing that thing," right? So we have to have that same grace for ourselves, and no one truly ever feels 100% ready. It's hard, because on social media these days everyone looks like everything's curated and perfectly ready, but everyone's actually scared. Everyone's doing things as they go, and they just make it look like it's ready to go, but inside, nothing's ever ready. We just launched something today, and the link works for some people and not others. That doesn't mean we wouldn't prepare like a fuck ton, but weird things happen. Little tech gremlins get in there, so I just share that with you, because it's so easy to look at other people going, "Oh my god, they have it all together. So, when they start something new, of course, it's ready to go." No, everyone is doing the best they can, and then you won't actually know that things are ready to go until you get out there and you do it, and so you may as well just take the messy action, because you'll learn the most in the first place.

Lesley Logan 3:28  

Now, a few weeks back, we had a series on being stuck, and I find a lot of people are stuck because they actually are wanting to do something, but they're waiting to feel ready. In that series we talked about motivation isn't the problem, it's this: we feel stuck because we're not moving forward towards the thing we want to do, but we're not moving forward because we don't feel ready, and we put ourselves in this position, and we actually make it on our brain that we have to have motivation to get ready. I heard someone say we'd be ready to be ready, and I don't even know if that's possible. We have to be willing to be imperfect and to take an action based on the information that we have, and then reflect, correct, and continue, right? So take the first step and reflect and correct and continue. I'm thinking of one of our very first guests, he's like, "You're never going to see the top of the stair, but you could see the first one, and then when you take the first step, you'll actually see the second step." And that's kind of how everyone does it. Everyone does it, right? I have recently talked about how I have a teacher training program that I'm creating, and I've never created a teacher training program before. I've taught them, I've seen others, I've never created my own, and it's hard. And I like going, "Oh, I don't like how this is not organized," but to be honest, I have to move forward with the beta group, because the only way I'm organized in the right flow is to try to put it in a flow, right? That's the only way. 

Lesley Logan 4:42  

So, anyways, a lot of people also wait. I just want to say, if you are waiting to feel ready, oftentimes it's a protection thing, right? You have a fear of judgment, fear of failure, fear of success, a lot of different fears, fear of responsibility. Oh my god, what if it does work out? What if the teacher training program I am really excited about does work out? What kind of responsibility do I have now? Sometimes we have a fear of that, so then we make up reasons and excuses why we're not ready to move forward, because that fear is legitimate. It's totally real, and so I think it also just comes back to what your nervous system feels safe doing. Some people feel safe flying by the seat of their pants, and some people don't feel safe that way. And what? Look, it's a human need to need certainty, and that things are going to work out. It's also a human need to need uncertainty, and have surprises and experiments. So just know that you need both of those things. A lot of times we're protecting ourselves, that fear of judgment, what people think if I fail, and so, honestly, if you don't start, then you can't fail, right? But also, if you don't start something, then there's parts of you, the potential, the be it till you see it you, that also doesn't get to happen, and everything is moving forward, so you have to, as well, right? I think when you wait and you're afraid to take action, it does make you feel safe, but waiting keeps your dreams safe, and also keeps them stuck, which means it keeps you stuck. 

Lesley Logan 6:16  

The other reason that you could be afraid of taking messy action is, hello, my ADHD ladies, lots of ideas, no clear place to start, and you end up in a freeze space until something motivates you, and you end up in this focus mode that's just amazing to do. And so then the reality is you shouldn't label yourself as stuck because you're just overloaded, like you're overwhelmed. I do have a thing for this, so if I have an idea, I put an idea on this parking lot. It's on a big Post-it on the back of my door, and if I look at it the next day and I know what it is, then I can keep working on it. And if I look at it the next day and I don't know what it is, and I'm not as excited, I don't.

Lesley Logan 6:57  

There's a 24-hour rule with ADHD people, because we are dopamine seekers, and I will say that if you have ADHD, there is a good chance you are going to be good at taking messy action because of the dopamine kick, but also because you have so many ideas, you could get stuck, or you could use other ideas to distract you from the thing that you're really wanting to do, because you don't feel ready. So, look at that, ADHD is its own conundrum, but overwhelm is real, and I want to acknowledge that, because I don't want you walking away from this episode going, "Oh, I'm supposed to do this when I don't feel ready, but I have all these other things." No, there might be several reasons why you're feeling stuck and afraid to take messy action, and so we have to unravel like an onion. What's the thing that's keeping you stuck? What's the thing that's keeping you from taking the first step forward to see if you like the thing? Sometimes you have ideas on things you want to do or be, and if you don't actually start working on it, you might not realize that you don't like it. I've done some things I was really, really proud of at the time, and then the longer we do it, the more I'm like, I'm not really into this anymore. I want to make changes, but if I had never taken the messy action in the first place, I would always go, "Oh, someday I wish I'd done that thing." Well, now that I have more information, I'm glad I did the thing, and I'm glad it's leading me over here. And so I would just say your dreams will be more curated and more unique to you and more supportive to you when you take the messy action. 

Lesley Logan 8:22  

Another reason why a lot of people are afraid to take messy action is the perfect timing illusion. I'll start when... and here's the deal, there's no perfect timing. It's like that whole joke that you make a plan and then God laughs. I remember in 2019 Brad and I being in Las Vegas and really having a good time in the downtown area arts district, which is really close to our house now, and we're like, "Wow, we could really live here. Wow." And we had friends who owned homes there, and we're like, "We could own a home in Las Vegas, that is crazy. We should do that in 2022 or 2023. In fact, let's make sure that as we finish out what we planned for 2020, we are keeping in mind what we want to do in 2022 and 2023." Great. So then what happened in 2020? Yeah, we ended up moving to Vegas, because that was the perfect timing. Could you imagine if we stuck with our plan? No, we took the messy action. We moved. I mean, the reality is everyone took messy action in 2020 because that's what you had to do. That was the only option, right? So, I hope that that story helps you, because yeah, it's good to have a plan. It's good to do your research, and then sometimes you have to just move before you're ready. If you're feeling stuck, I get it, but it's just really a lack of movement. It's a lack of taking a step. Action does bring clarity and is the antidote to fear. It's why it's in the intro of the show. It's so funny that we're doing this episode after 700 episodes, because the reality is the intro is this episode. We often say, "I feel stuck," but really, let's leave the emotion and look more at a reality of are we just taking a step forward? Have we done one thing towards the thing we want to do? Especially for my ADHD people, sometimes we just need to start with one thing, and then it is the domino effect that we're looking for, right? And I will say, for my overthinkers, it's really easy to try to think your way forward, but you got to move your way forward. Action is more than what's in your mind. It's a physical embodiment. It's something that you do with your feet and your hands.

Lesley Logan 10:25  

It's sending the email, it's making the phone call, it's buying the URL, it's hiring the thing, it's exploring, it's doing the research, right? Do the research. I want to say, I get it. I get also the comfort in feeling stuck, and it's actually kind of comfortable, because then you always have a reason for why you haven't moved forward. If you have a reason, then you can't fail. But I also want you to know, it's one step at a time always. Being it till you see it is one step at a time. Messy action is one step at a time. I'm not saying blow everything up, right? My goodness, I think I've talked about this on the podcast before, but it took me a year to break up with a relationship I had before Brad. A year, because I was like, "Well, it's not the right time, I don't have the amount of money." And that's right, I couldn't blow my life up a year before. I did not have the situation to land on, so I worked. I tried to figure that out. I worked on the relationship and tried to figure out what I would do if the relationship didn't exist. I got myself ready to be ready, and then I kind of blew it up a little bit, but I did some messy action, but I didn't blow it up completely, because I had a landing pad. I will just say, don't punish yourself, don't harp on yourself. If you have been like, "Oh my god, Lesley called me out. I've been waiting to be ready for two years now. I've wasted all this time." No, you haven't. You have gotten more clarity, and this episode is hitting you when you need to hear it, that you are like, "Oh my god, okay, I'm gonna do the thing, I'm gonna take the messy action." Messy action is one step, it's not 20 steps, it's one, it's one. So, if waiting to take messy action, waiting to take action has been keeping you stuck, and we're acknowledging that now, and we're on the same page now, then the real question is how do we actually start moving forward, especially when you don't feel ready? So we're going to dive in deeper to how to start moving forward in our next episode, because we're keeping these bite-sized. We are, and I hope that that is helpful, because it's nice to have an hour-and-a-half-long episode that's inspiring, and of course I want you inspired, but also it's nice to have a bite-sized episode that just goes, "Oh my god, I have been living in fear, making excuses, researching myself to death, waiting to feel ready, and now I know I just need to take a next step." So, on Thursday, we're gonna talk about how to do that and dive in deeper. So, I would love to hear more about what you've been wanting to do. What have you been waiting to feel ready to do? That could be a first next step in getting your momentum going. Share it with the Be It Pod. Send it into the beitpod.com/questions. Let us know this is the episode that inspired you, and let us know what your win is. Your win could just be like, "I listened to this episode and I am ready to feel ready." Thank you so much. Send this to a friend who's feeling stuck. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 13:14  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 13:57  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 14:02  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 14:06  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 14:13  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 14:17  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this Fuck Yeah Friday episode, Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach, rolls out a fresh take on the FYF format, you can name what is hard and still claim a win in the same breath. She shares the messy reality behind working for yourself, celebrates listener wins, and reflects on fostering her first dog solo during a packed travel season. It is a short, energizing reminder that a hard moment and a real win can live side by side.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The revamped FYF format pairs an honest hard moment with a win.
• Lesley's need a moment about recording her own episodes.
• How a Lesley's win proves the busy schedule excuse doesn't hold.
• Getting rid of internet inspiration that isn't inspiring right now.
• Celebrating the interview process instead of waiting to get the job.

Episode References/Links:

• @meganslatteryyogaandpilates - https://www.instagram.com/meganslatteryyogaandpilates
• @mymarialoisa - https://www.instagram.com/mymarialoisa
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:48  

Hey, Be It Babe, welcome to our Friday episode. And this is our FYF episode, our fuck yeah. It's Friday, and Brad and I decided that we wanted to make some changes to the FYF episode, and one of those things is we're incorporating more of what we do in our communities, like we do with our agency members and our Elevate grads and our Elevate members, which is just you're allowed to need a moment, but you have to have a win in the exact same moment. So you can't come in here and all over everybody with your need a moment, you have to actually have a win to go with it, right? So that's how we're going to do that. I'll have, or Brad will have, or we'll get some guests to have when we want to complain about, and then they'll have a win, and then we'll share your wins that you send in telling that, and then if you want, I guess you could also send in your I need a moment and your wins. 

Lesley Logan 1:30  

So here's my I need a moment, because it's happening right now. My internet is freaking amazing, it's amazing, I have the best internet, and when I come into my pod room, I'll have the best internet, and then I hit record, and it's like, actually, your internet's crap in this moment. Now it's crap, and it's just so annoying, because it's like, well, I only have one hour to do this thing, and I'm spending 17 minutes trying to figure out why my great internet is bad in this one spot at this one moment. That's my first world problems right now. My win is that I've been able to start doing something I've been wanting to do, which is foster dogs, which is not easy to do, because I have a dog, not easy to do, because I love them, and I want to keep them all, all the dogs, and also I travel a ton. And so back in April into May, I got to foster my first dog, and I did it by myself, which is really cool, because I have always had dogs, but I've had dogs with family or partners, and so it's just there's someone else who can do the thing with the dog. And so for nine days I was responsible for a dog by myself, and not a small dog, like a big one, and so my win is that I nailed it. I did everything I could to get this dog adopted, a family to be seen as just this wonderful addition to anyone's family, and I had the best time, all while keeping with my crazy busy schedule. So, you know what that means? It means we all can do this. So, anyway, that's my win.

Lesley Logan 2:56  

Now, for our next segment, we got rid of the inspiration from the internet, because I'll just be really honest, the internet is not very inspiring right now. So, your wins, here we go. We got two from you guys. @meganslatteryyogaandpilates said, hosting second soft launch in my house/home studio/big sale today. Tired, but doing it. And it's like, yeah, look, here's the deal. Working for yourself does not mean it's easy. I don't know why people think that if it's hard they must be doing it wrong. No, if it's hard and you're tired, you're probably doing it pretty darn good. Now you know you got to sleep and do some other things, but it's possible. 

Lesley Logan 3:30  

Okay, next win is by @mymarialoisa. Interview for my dream job and sign up for the OPC training. Ah, that's so fun. We had such a good time with that training, so super, super proud about that. And I'm so glad that you got to join us, and that was one of your wins, and you got to interview for your dream job. You know what, I love that you celebrated the interview process, Maria Luisa, because so many people would just celebrate, like, wait for them to get the job, or then have a moment, because they might not have, but you celebrated the interview. Yeah, that's how we be it till we see it, babes. That is how we do it.

Lesley Logan 4:05  

And then we end our FYFs with a mantra. So here we go. And the win is not that my internet is great right now. That is not it. The mantra is not, I have great internet. Here's what it is, self love comes to me naturally. Self love comes to me naturally, self love comes to you naturally, Be it babe. Yes it does. Yes, it does. And if it doesn't, you just say that 17 times until you believe it, until you do it, because thoughts are not facts, but since so many of us make them, then change your thoughts, so you can change your facts, and self-love will come to you naturally. 

Lesley Logan 4:40  

All right, babe. That's our episode for this Friday. We keep them short and sweet. If you want something longer and you want something to be more in depth, make sure you're checking out our series that we're releasing every other week, and our interviews and recaps. We've got lots of good stuff for you. We also have some really fun things we're highlighting when it comes to our recap special. So ways for you to get involved and help, because sometimes it feels like we're not doing enough, right? You might be like, oh, she fostered a dog, what am I doing? Well, listen to the recap episodes, because we highlight a charity that you too can work with. So until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 5:13  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 5:55  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 6:00  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 6:05  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 6:12  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 6:15  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this recap, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell unpack the deeper implications of Adrian Starks' conversation on purpose, grief, and the resistance that comes from fighting your own path. They explore how purpose isn't something you find, but something you actively build, and why the attempt to force alignment often backfires. The episode tackles the unglamorous realities of change, self-reflection, and what happens when perfection gets in the way of progress. Whether you're struggling with imposter syndrome or questioning your direction, this conversation invites you to reclaim agency over your own story.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How supporting LGBTQ+ communities strengthens your own alignment and values.
• The importance of taking control of your purpose before it gets defined for you.
• Why the more effort you put into controlling something, the more it slips through your fingers.
• How self-reflection reveals when you're outgrowing something or being called into something new
• Imposter syndrome shows up when you're going against the grain of your purpose.

Episode References/Links:

• OPC for 40 days for $40 - opc.me/40
• eLevate 2028 Waitlist - lesleylogan.co/elevate
• OPC Flashcards - opc.me/flashcards
• Summer Tour (Powered by Balanced Body) - opc.me/tour
• Prism Foundation - arprismfoundation.org
• Adrian Starks Website - https://adrianstarks.com
• Ep 191. with Adrian Starks - https://beitpod.com/ep191
• 100 Acts of Love by Kim Hamer - https://a.co/d/0dugkBGk
• Ep 244 with Kim Hamer - https://beitpod.com/ep244
• Ep 235 with Krista St-Germain - https://beitpod.com/ep235
• Ep. 688 Outgrowing Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep688 
• Ep. 689 Outgrowing Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep689
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

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Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
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• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell 0:00  

We think purpose is just going to find us, and we're gonna be like, "Oh my god, that's what I'm here for, that's the thing," right? Instead, what clearly seems actionable is purpose is something that we are out there doing, and whether or not we chose to do it, we're still out there doing it.

Lesley Logan 0:21  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 1:04  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the purposeful convo I had with Adrian Starks in our last episode. You know what, I think that's what we said the first time he was on, because his podcast is all about being purposeful, so if you haven't yet listened to that interview, you can pause this and go listen to that one.

Brad Crowell 1:23  

What is he like? 190-something?

Lesley Logan 1:26  

It was like 151. Brad's gonna look it up and... and you can then come back and listen to this one, or you can listen to this one, because we chat about a bunch of stuff, and then our favorite things. And then you can go listen to the amazing one, because you have all the choice in this world. You get to do what you want to do, and we got to meet a bunch of you amazing podcast listeners when we were in Arizona the other day.

Brad Crowell 1:46  

It was 191.

Lesley Logan 1:47  

191

Brad Crowell 1:48  

Yes, I can't believe.

Lesley Logan 1:50  

Wow, nailed it.

Brad Crowell 1:51  

I did.

Lesley Logan 1:52  

I don't even know. You must have cheated. You must have seen it.

Brad Crowell 1:55  

I heard it in the episode.

Lesley Logan 1:56  

You heard it in the episode.

Brad Crowell 1:59  

Because I went back and listened to it. 

Lesley Logan 2:00  

I was like I love you, but there's no way you came up with that on your own. Anyways, we met a bunch of listeners at the POT Arizona last month.

Brad Crowell 2:10  

We sure did.

Lesley Logan 2:11  

I love that you love the pod, and also I heard that people are loving the solo episodes. If that's the case, please leave a review and tell me what you want me to talk about. Also, another way you can support this show is to become an OPC member, because when you're an OPC member, that money also supports this podcast. Just be honest, so the best thing you can do is to go be a member of OPC. One, you actually get extra stuff out of it. If you like these little pep talks that I do on the podcast that are solo, at the end of every one of my classes, I give you a little pep talk. It's not a mantra, but it's something close. So you can go to opc.me/40, and then you can join OPC for 40 days for $40, and then you can see how great we are. Okay, today is June 25, 2026. It's Bourdain Day.

Brad Crowell 3:00  

It's Bourdain Day, and this is.

Lesley Logan 3:02  

A quote from Mr. Anthony Bourdain: "If I'm an advocate for anything, it's to move as far as you can, as much as you can, across the ocean or simply across the river, walk in someone else's shoes, or at least eat their food. It's a plus for everybody." Anthony Bourdain backed up his words with action, all the while urging us to do a lot more than simply try new foods in exotic places with fascinating strangers. He desperately wanted us to break out of our comfort zones and see the world in person through the eyes of people we would never otherwise meet. Watching his TV shows, first No Reservations, and then Parts Unknown, enabled us to spend time with the real-life explorer who trotted around the world in search of, well, the things that make us all human: food, yes, but also love, spirit, and passion. Bourdain, who suffered from depression, took his own life in 2018 at the age of 61. "Anthony was my best friend," tweeted French chef and close friend Eric Ripert at the time. "Exceptional human being, so inspired and generous." Ripert, along with another longtime friend, José Andrés, who does some amazing work in this world, declared June 25, Bourdain's birthday, Bourdain Day in 2019. So, if you are thinking of suicide, or worried about a friend, or in need of emotional support, the Lifeline Network is available 24/7 across the US. Call 800-273-8255. I think there's also a short number, I feel like there's a short number that you can call, but we had a dear friend.

Brad Crowell 4:20  

You can call 988 in the United States.

Lesley Logan 4:22  

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, who worked with a suicide prevention network in Nevada. And life's really hard right now. It's harder than people think. You look at people and they seem to have it all together, and they don't. A lot of people are tired, a lot of people have a lot going on. So reach out to a friend you haven't heard from or talked to in a while. You just never know. You might help them out, but also make sure you have these numbers, because there are people who are experts who can also support.

Brad Crowell 4:49  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 4:50  

Upcoming travel, Brad, predict this, because what, go ahead, Brad.

Brad Crowell 4:54  

Yeah, Anthony Bourdain was very inspirational for me. He was living the travel bug that I always had, and when I was in college, my friend and I used to watch his show every single week, No Reservations. I just loved that he was so angry at his producers in that show, and he would get so pissed about cursing and smoking cigarettes on TV. I guess it wasn't live, but on TV, and then.

Lesley Logan 5:23  

They could just edit it out.

Brad Crowell 5:24  

hey could have edited it out, but they didn't. Yeah, it just was really inspirational for me. And then he did some amazing stuff too. He was in Beirut when that.

Lesley Logan 5:36  

Yes! And then also, don't forget his wonderful documentary about food waste.

Brad Crowell 5:40  

Yeah, food waste.

Lesley Logan 5:41  

If you haven't seen it, you must see it.

Brad Crowell 5:43  

It's called Wasted!

Lesley Logan 5:44  

I think it's called Wasted!

Brad Crowell 5:45  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 5:45  

We actually watched it, and the next day he died by suicide.

Brad Crowell 5:48  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 5:49  

That was really tragic, and that documentary stuck with me. So it's really, really important, because we all need to be aware. In certain countries, they're doing a much better job about food waste than we are. Go Japan! You were commenting from the documentary, so yeah, for me.

Brad Crowell 6:03  

It was amazing because I never was a chef, but he worked in the food industry, I worked in the food industry, and I got his book Kitchen Confidential when I was in my early 20s. I just thought he was amazing. So, yep, in honor of Anthony Bourdain, and as Lesley was mentioning, if you or anyone you know is suffering with suicidal thoughts, there is support out there for you.

Lesley Logan 6:28  

Yeah.

Brad Crowell 6:29  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 6:29  

In other news, there are no spots left in Elevate. Every single week in the last few weeks that you've heard that there are spots was a lie.

Brad Crowell 6:37  

They are sold out.

Lesley Logan 6:40  

For 2027 anyways. We are already taking applications for 2028. We'll be able to let you snag your spot and reserve it, and all that stuff. But we're going to have a wonderful Q&A call this summer on July 9, I believe it's at 1 PM Pacific time. You can go to lesleylogan.co/elevate to get on the waitlist. We'll have that call information, and you can register for the call. Oh, I should do ll.co/waitlist. Actually, sorry, my producer is doing this in real time, everyone. Anyways, what I want you to do is get on that waitlist, because I do update you monthly on when we have dates and when we're accepting applications, and when you can deposit. I know that 2028 will fill up as soon as we open up those applications, but that means you have a whole year-plus to protect those dates like your life once I figure out what they are. 

Lesley Logan 7:31  

summer tour is coming, but the tickets are available. They've been available for a few weeks, actually a month to be precise, and many cities are sold out. You're like, "Lesley, now that I know you record this in the past-future, how do you know?" Because I do! When we were in Arizona, we actually met many people who were like, "Oh, I'm going to Tucson," and I was like, "Okay, we're probably out of spots in Tucson." So I know that some of these slots are sold out. You want to go to opc.me/tour. Our tours are sponsored by the wonderful Balanced Body and Contrology company. Balanced Body is celebrating 50 years, so it's a really big year for them. It's kind of amazing what they're doing, and it's really special. So I want you to make sure that you join us, because Balanced Body allows our tours to go to more than six places and to do it with a lot of fun. We're bringing Contrology products into the studio so you can try them out. And if you're new here...

Brad Crowell 8:25  

Welcome.

Lesley Logan 8:25  

Hi! We also have Pilates flashcards. Did you know that we do? You don't have to be a Pilates instructor to love them. They're actually really wonderful for helping you have access to great Pilates where you are. They're so great, in fact, that people steal my images all the fucking time to put them in their shitty books, but you can get the real thing with the best information that has been edited many times and has quality videos at opc.me/flashcards. Sorry, I'm a little pissed off over here about something, but I am. If you follow me on Instagram, you know how long this has been going on, and just as we were about to hit record, I found out another fucking person is stealing my images from my flashcards.

Brad Crowell 9:08  

Three more people.

Lesley Logan 9:09  

Three more people.

Brad Crowell 9:10  

Yeah, so it's a thing. That's crazy. Anyway, you should know what's crazy.

Lesley Logan 9:16  

Is that they thought someone wouldn't find out? You know what I mean?

Brad Crowell 9:21  

I mean, maybe they just don't care.

Lesley Logan 9:22  

Maybe they don't care, or they're like, "Oh, she only has like 30,000 followers, so no one will know." But my followers know me, and even people who don't follow me are telling me, because I am recognizable at any rate. But you can get my flashcards, the real deal, and support a small business who is going to take on some of these big-ass companies, because there is a company that is a big name that we're about to take down anyways. I'm excited about it. 

Lesley Logan 9:49  

Before we get into... we used to do audience questions here. If you're new, you don't know that, so this is not a new thing for you. But if you're old and you're like, "Oh, I just popped in here on this one," we don't do that anymore. We answer questions on YouTube at 9 AM Pacific Time Live, and that is where I answer them. If you're a member, I answer questions wherever you are a member, so as long as it's part of your membership, right? If you're an agency member, you can ask business questions there. If you are an OPC member, I answer personal Pilates questions there—I answer all those. Plus, there's YouTube, and YouTube is free. People don't know that, but it is. It's free. You have to watch, according to one comment, a diabolical amount of commercials, but it's free. Yes, "diabolical" was the word that was used. However, what we decided to change this to is many of you want to help out people in your life, but often don't know how to help, and there are so many different shitstorms in the world, like, which firestorm do you help with? The reality is that you can help either by just sharing with a friend who needs to hear that this charity exists for them, or you can share your time, or you can share it on your platform, or you can give them money, even $2. 

Lesley Logan 10:55  

So, because June is Pride Month, we are going to wrap up the month's theme with another wonderful LGBTQ+ charity. This is the Prism Foundation, and it was founded in 2021. The Prism Foundation was started to organize and execute initiatives for the LGBTQ+ community in the state of Arkansas, using a multifaceted approach to achieve the following outcomes: increase access to affirming and comprehensive healthcare, align resources that address barriers to care and health disparities among the community, and create safe spaces for both virtual and physical activities and services that serve LGBTQ+ Arkansas.

Brad Crowell 11:32  

Correct me if we're wrong here, but I think it's Arkansans.

Lesley Logan 11:35  

What is also exciting, because I was doing some research on them, they are also really aware of what is happening in the states that are surrounding them that are affecting trans people. Part of their vision is: "We are increasing access to healthcare as top of our priorities. We're also focused on creating pathways to fulfill our basic needs, including overcoming barriers to legal aid services and developing supportive community spaces physically and virtually." 

Lesley Logan 11:59  

I think this is really important because unfortunately, and at the time of this recording, there have been some awful things that have been said about trans people from the government that we are under in this country. I won't even repeat his words, because they are too horrible to repeat, that he said this week. But we need to be protecting our people who are different than us, because the fucking people who are taking from you are billionaires. So support the LGBTQ+ people in your area, because one, they are beautiful human beings, and two, they are always there supporting.

Brad Crowell 12:39  

That's true, there's very much of an activism mentality in that community.

Lesley Logan 12:45  

Yeah.

Brad Crowell 12:45  

Really like.

Lesley Logan 12:46  

And also, my goodness, they have to be tired. I'm sure they are. Anyways, I really like what that Prism organization is doing. I think it has to be hard to do what they do in the areas that they're doing it, so if you want to support, there you go.

Brad Crowell 13:05  

You can go to their website at arprismfoundation.org to read more about what they are doing and how you could support them.

Lesley Logan 13:14  

And if that is not your area, because you're like, "I'm not Arkansan," or "I'm not in the Midwest," then look up ones in your area that are doing something locally for you, because there is always a local outlet of something, like we've talked about before on this podcast. We love supporting a restaurant because Bronze Cafe—everyone who's local to Las Vegas who listens to this show, when you buy meals from them, they support the LGBTQ mental health community center here.

Brad Crowell 13:38  

If you have an organization that is doing good things that we should find out about, and you want to be featured on the pod, call us and leave us a voicemail.

Lesley Logan 13:49  

I love that. Then it's your favorite charity.

Brad Crowell 13:52  

At 310-905-5534 and tell us why they're amazing. You can also submit wins, by the way, at beitpod.com/questions so that we can get you in on the Friday episode.

Lesley Logan 14:09  

Times now, Brad, I have had people tell me that they heard their win months after they submitted it, and it really made their day because they were having a rough day. So I tell people this. Also, just so you know, we've changed the Friday FYF. I bitch about something, and then you were gonna come, but we haven't had a chance for you to bitch about something.

Brad Crowell 14:30  

Oh, yes.

Lesley Logan 14:31  

Which is what we do at our other communities, and then I celebrate a win, and then I share their wins. That's cool, and I do a mantra, so we had a change to it because it's quite nice. Maybe my new "need a moment" is that all these people use my fucking image.

Brad Crowell 14:46  

Well, we'll save that for Friday's episode. Stick around, we'll be right back. 

Brad Crowell 14:51  

All right, now let's talk about Mr. Adrian Starks. Adrian is a professional speaker, voice narrator, and host of the Your Purposeful Life podcast, who openly embraces his authentic, unpolished self, including his fun side as a comic card and superhero fanatic. Having shed the rigid suit-and-tie expectations of his early career, Adrian is deeply protective of the energy he puts into the world, intentionally choosing to step away from the microphone rather than record an episode if he's having a bad day. So, good vibes, right? As a fellow human seeking purpose, he helps his audience navigate what he identifies as the three continuous cycles of purposeful living, and encourages people to make a mess, figure out what works, and ultimately have fun with their journey.

Lesley Logan 15:36  

Well, we love mess over here. We love messy action, and we're so big on that. Yeah, I also love... I mean, we had a great conversation about evolution, but one of the things we talked about is he said when we try to make things perfect when they're not meant to be—well, nothing's supposed to be—there's going to be major resistance because everything has to flow a certain way. He used the metaphor of salmon noting their journey upstream against the flow of the river is what ultimately exhausts them, and I think that's so true. I think we try to get things to be so perfect, just like, you know, we make it too precious, and you kind of hold on to it too tight. Then you aren't able to hear amazing things or be curious to go a different direction, you know what I mean?

Brad Crowell 16:19  

I was just talking about the idea of, like, the more effort you put into controlling something, the more it slips through your fingers. And yeah, I mean, I totally get that. Here's how I equate this. This is going to be an amazing parallel for all you ultimate frisbee players out there, of which I know I'm speaking to the right audience. Obviously.

Lesley Logan 16:40  

I'm sure we have a good two.

Brad Crowell 16:42  

Clearly, clearly the right audience. I grew up playing very, very competitively, playing ultimate frisbee, and whenever you were gonna throw the frisbee all the way down the field—the disc, as it were, if you put all of your might into that throw, that huck, as it were, is what we would call it, inevitably, you would mess it up. It would curve to the right, or go out of bounds, or whatever. But if you took a half a second before that huge throw, and you just eased and paused when you threw, you paused, and then just let it happen—it would go where you wanted it to every time. It took a long time, and I could always tell as soon as I released the disc, like, "Oh man, I did not do that right." I feel like life is like that too. When you are forcing it, things do not go the way that you want them to, but when you go with the flow, you know, while you're directing it, then things seem to happen a lot more organically, usually. All the things, right?

Lesley Logan 17:49  

Yeah, it's like a tough balance, right, because.

Brad Crowell 17:52  

Still have to direct it.

Lesley Logan 17:53  

Well, because you don't want to just be blowing with the wind, but you also need to feel the flow, right? Like, there are some obstacles that tell us, like, "Not that door," right? That doesn't mean it's a stop sign, it's just like a doorway, like, "Nope, not that door." And I think it's like really understanding, you know, why are you doing this? Why are you doing any of this? Because if you can keep your "why" in mind, it can keep the perfection from taking over, because perfection will honestly end up making something so clean and perfect, no one wants to touch it and do it, or they don't really know what it is, and it's exhausting. It's exhausting to be perfect. 

Lesley Logan 18:30  

Oh my god, there's just certain people in my life, whenever I see them, I'm like, "How long does it take them to get out the door?" Because we just saw someone this past weekend at an event, and every time I see her, I'm like, she's so perfectly coiffed, it must take forever to get out the door, because there's not a hair amiss. The outfit is... the nails match the shoes match the... I mean, like all of it. I'm like, I know how long it takes to get my nails done, so they're just gonna be what they are for four weeks. So, I don't know, I'm just saying this is... if you want to be my friend, don't be perfect, okay?

Lesley Logan 19:06  

The last thing I'll say is he explained that when we go against the grain of what our purposes are, it creates major resistance that makes us feel like we're not worthy. So, hello, my people who feel imposter syndrome, it's because you're going against the grain of your purpose. If we're truly good at where we are, while we always can improve, we don't need to be perfect. There is this thing... "improve" is the wrong word. We are always... this is something that happens with Pilates instructors that I meet. You always are going to be learning. There's never a point that you're not learning, but there's a difference between chasing down every single person to go through their version of a program with, and also just learning from the body in front of you today. You know what I mean? Every time I teach a new person, a new client, I learn a new way of explaining something. Today we were doing OPC spring training, and this wonderful person asked a great question. I was like, "You know what, I've explained this before, but never to a person with that brand of equipment, with that years of experience, with that understanding of the exercise." So even I am learning something I already know in a different way so I can explain it. It's just... there's ways to learn and improve yourself without having to constantly feel like you've gotta sign up for this next thing, you know? So, anyways.

Brad Crowell 20:21  

Stay tuned, because how do we know what our purpose is, you know? How do we even know if we're going against the grain? Stick around, because we're going to talk about that in the Be It action items. 

Brad Crowell 20:32  

But what I really wanted to talk about myself was grief, which is interesting because it was an interesting topic that y'all skipped over. You were talking about grieving, not just like a person who might no longer be with us, or obviously a pet or any of that, but even an experience that was supposed to happen, but it didn't, you know? And you were very excited about it, or you had a lot of effort and planning into it. I mean, we know we've been talking about opening a studio for a really long time, and we spent a lot of money, we spent a lot of time at the beginning of this year and last year—beginning of this year like really thinking, planning. I mean, I can't even tell you how many phone calls I made to the city, and I spent hours putting together a plan, a business plan for this. And then three months in, we decided to pause the whole thing because we realized that we were pretty much forcing it, you know, because there was one key thing that was holding us up that was like, "Wait a minute, how are we going to solve this problem?" It was kind of like one of those, "Well, we're gonna... we could... we'll make it work. We'll figure it out. It's gonna..." you know. All of a sudden I was like, "Why do we need to do that? We don't even need to do the studio. It's just gonna cause a lot of stress. And what we could be doing right now is opening a major problem for ourselves." So what we decided to do instead was solve the problem that we would be opening for ourselves first, but that's going to take time.

Lesley Logan 22:01  

Yeah.

Brad Crowell 22:02  

Right. So even though we spent this time putting this whole plan together and decided to hit pause, it's interesting because, okay, there's actually another path that is going to set us up for success in the future when we do bring that studio back around. However, it doesn't mean that you don't feel bummed about it. I drive by the location that we picked out, that I've talked with the landlord.

Lesley Logan 22:26  

I know.

Brad Crowell 22:27  

And the neighbors, and the city about, and a contractor about.

Lesley Logan 22:30  

And I envisioned the sign.

Brad Crowell 22:32  

100 times.

Lesley Logan 22:33  

I still don't think it's not going to be in that center. I just think it's not that unit. It's just that unit needed way too much money. Yeah, not the rent, but the build-out was like jaw-dropping. It honestly made the grief a little bit easier, I'm not gonna lie, because it was such a "fuck no," you know what I mean? Like, it was just like no fucking way. And so, I do understand there's grief because that's not happening today, and so we still drive by it every single time, but I also think this is where good reflection comes from, too. It's like, in reflecting, it's all out of our control—the parts that are the obstacles, yeah. So I go to bed knowing we did the best we could with what we had in the moment, and had we not had this other stupid bill come through that we're like, "That's a fuck no," we probably would have forced the salmon up the stream a little bit. I think so, because we definitely.

Brad Crowell 23:34  

Would have.

Lesley Logan 23:34  

Anyway, would have made it work, but it would have been a hard stress.

Brad Crowell 23:38  

More complicated than it needed to be. Yeah, but.

Lesley Logan 23:40  

I do think there is a way you have to grieve changes. We have Elevate members who are like, "I'm grieving the teacher I used to be," because they used to just narrate a Pilates class, for lack of a simple thing. And it's like, "Well, no, now you get to watch it, and you get to see what it is." Part of you is excited because you know better now and you have these more potential possibilities now, but also there was a time that it felt easier, right? And you're a different person when you're in this unknown space. So, like, I'm excited when we open that studio. I'm past the grief thing, but also sometimes I look back at that studio, it would have been really great if it was a Pilates on it already.

Brad Crowell 24:19  

Yeah, well, that's the thing. You know, you were talking about how grief doesn't really go away because you had built a mental pattern around a person or a thing or an experience that was supposed to happen. You had built that into your thinking, and what ends up happening over time is we think that way a little bit less. It doesn't mean we don't think about the thing, but the expectations that we had alter, they shift, right? And so, you know, what Adrian was talking about was someone, I think he was talking about someone who died, if I recall, and he said sometimes he just needs to embrace when that emotion comes up. He embraces it, he leans into it. He's like, "It's okay for me to feel this right now," and he encourages letting that emotion flow for multiple reasons. It's a testament to how someone or something impacted you, but also it's really important to feel those emotions. So.

Lesley Logan 25:16  

Yeah, it's hard. I don't know, it's like there's certain... you know, it's really interesting, like there's certain people, places, or things that you grieve in different ways. Our LA studio, I don't ever look back and have tears, like I'm sad with that studio, because it was the right thing to do to make the change, but I do miss having that cute little space.

Brad Crowell 25:37  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 25:37  

You know, I miss it. Yeah, I think back of it fondly, not tears, like, "Oh, I don't have that place anymore," but like, "What a fun two years I had in that space." It was such a... like a treehouse, you know. So, grief doesn't always have to be devastating either, but you have to feel it. We have some great grief podcasts, by the way. Haven't had any recently, but the two that we had were so good: Kim Hamer and another woman... I want to say Kara, but I don't think that's what it was. She's like Coach Something, and they're both on grief. Kim Hamer has a wonderful book on 100 Acts of Love, and her episode about her husband and that grief was so interesting, and what she has done. She was so raw and wonderful and thoughtful. And then there was a woman before her in the episodes, and I'm just talking like as if it's going to come back to me, she actually, unfortunately, watched her husband die, and then she went through all this grief and she was like, "How come this is happening, and why am I not over it?" She literally became a grief coach.

Brad Crowell 26:42  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 26:42  

I want to say it's Kara, but it's not.

Brad Crowell 26:44  

I have no idea.

Lesley Logan 26:46  

Anyways, our wonderful producers will figure it out, I'm sure. But you can just go into our catalog; it's definitely in the first 200 episodes. Good luck! Well, here's the thing: if you can find Kim Hamer, it's within two months of Kim Hamer that I remember. So, okay, we're gonna get into our Be It action items, and I can see Brad is going to Google that.

Brad Crowell 27:05  

Yeah, one was Krista St-Germain.

Lesley Logan 27:08  

That's the one.

Brad Crowell 27:09  

And the other was.

Lesley Logan 27:12  

Kim Hamer. Kim Hamer! So sorry, replace Hamer everywhere I said Scott. There you go.

Brad Crowell 27:23  

All right, stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into those Be It action items. 

Brad Crowell 27:29  

All right. Well, welcome back. Let's talk about those Be It action items that we got from Adrian Starks. What bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your combo, Adrian? It's weird to call him Starks. Starks, it sounds like he's like... like.

Lesley Logan 27:48  

Tony.

Brad Crowell 27:49  

Yeah, but I was thinking like a football player, like the way that you.

Lesley Logan 27:52  

I just want to go "Adrian," that's all.

Brad Crowell 27:54  

Starks redefines the word goal, and I've really loved this, y'all. He's so full of these quippy things that are so applicable, and this one really blew my mind. He said, "I love a goal, but I redefined it with the acronym of Get Out and Live, Get Out and Live." And I was like, "Wow, that's really great." I love that he views goals not as rigid markers but as triggers to move outside of one's comfort zone, scare yourself a little bit, and then break a rut. He suggests regularly asking yourself, what is actually going on here? What am I not happy about? What do I actually want? Specifically focusing on immediate desires rather than five-year plans, he recommends detoxing from social media for several days at a time to avoid the world of comparisons that definitely leads to self-doubt and imposter syndrome.

Brad Crowell 28:51  

Imposter syndrome, yeah, exactly.

Lesley Logan 28:53  

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Brad Crowell 28:54  

Comparison is the thief of joy. What about you?

Lesley Logan 28:58  

Well, he said your purpose in life is not something you find, it's something that you do, and it's going to change. It's going to evolve with time, and I couldn't agree more. It's so funny. Recently, I posted pictures of myself as a brand new Pilates instructor. I actually wrote a whole series called Outgrowing Yourself, and it's either already come out or it's coming up. No idea. I think it already came out, outgrowing your old version of yourself. And it's so funny, because I don't look back at her going, "Oh my god." I mean, when I said, "Oh my god, I look so young..."

Brad Crowell 29:27  

You look like a child.

Lesley Logan 29:28  

I look like a child. I was 25, but I think about what her goals as a new teacher were to where I am right now, and I can say looking back I never have thought, "Oh my god, I'm no longer living my purpose," because my purpose has evolved as a teacher. Because I've evolved in the more that I know, and the people that I teach, and the things that I'm drawn to. There's things that people like, "Don't you want to do this?" and it's like, "No, that's a no, I don't." And even right now people like, "Oh, what about next year?" I'm like, "I think I'm staying home a lot, actually a significant amount of time. I'm staying home." And they're like, "Oh, really?" And it's like, "Yeah, because if you do take the time to get to know yourself, and you do stay aligned with what you want, and you do stay aligned with your purpose, your life has to evolve." And then, because that evolves, and your purpose evolves, I'm like, "My life has to reflect what I'm doing, and then what I'm doing then takes me to my next thing, which means my life has to reflect what I'm doing, and so..."

Brad Crowell 30:26  

I agree with you on this, but also let's go back to his statement, because I think I remember trying to figure out, like, what am I going to do with my life, or what's my purpose? And we all know that it's important to have purpose in our lives, but I also think a testament to this is the conversations that I've had recently with my parents, who just retired.

Lesley Logan 30:51  

Yeah.

Brad Crowell 30:51  

Right. And then the interview that we had with the retirement coach, whose name I'm not recalling, but it was in the last 100 episodes. 

Lesley Logan 31:01  

Definitely. It was definitely, was it this year?

Brad Crowell 31:04  

But the point is that we think purpose is just going to find us, and we're gonna be like, "Oh my god, that's what I'm here for, that's the thing," right? Instead, what clearly seems actionable is purpose is something that we are out there doing, and whether or not we chose to do it, we're still out there doing it. I mean, I think about my parents with their job, and the thing that was keeping my dad focused on the job was the job. Ultimately, if you step back and look at that, it's not necessarily like whatever... I don't even know what the projects were that he was working on.

Lesley Logan 31:45  

Ever.

Brad Crowell 31:46  

Yeah, but the point... I mean, I wasn't intimately involved in the company they work for, so I don't actually understand all the nuance of the things, but he built that purpose over a career of 42 or 43 years, and then now all of a sudden he's thinking about ending it. It doesn't matter how mundane the job is, he's, "Oh, what am I going to do with myself after this? I'm not sure, I don't know," you know. And so that's where we find ourselves unwilling to make a change as well, but then you have... that's like.

Lesley Logan 32:16  

No, I want to argue with you a little bit, and I'm glad your dad doesn't listen to this podcast. I feel like he did what a lot of people his age did, which is like, "This is my job," and that job became the purpose. Yeah.

Brad Crowell 32:31  

But that's the point of what Adrian said.

Lesley Logan 32:33  

But I don't think so, because I think it goes to that saying: if you don't have goals, someone will make their goals your goal, and so I feel like.

Brad Crowell 32:43  

Your purpose can be inadvertent. Yeah, if you don't take control of what you do, then your purpose will be defined for you, or it can accidentally become your purpose. Yes.

Lesley Logan 32:53  

And if you don't like it, then you're the person going, "Why is my purpose just to do this project for this many years?" Where I think it's important is this is where self-reflection is so important, because when you self-reflect, you are aware of when you are outgrowing something, or you are being called into something. I don't know if we had a conversation with Adrian, but I definitely had a conversation, and I wrote a newsletter on it, is that a lot of people in the Pilates industry, like, "I need to figure out what my space is in this industry," and it's like, never do that, don't do that. Because no one that you admire ever sat and goes, "What is my little circle in this industry?" No, they went out and carved their path, they created their thing. There'll be an episode coming out that hasn't already with me on Balanced Body's podcast, where they're like, "You carved out this thing." I'm like, I had to, I had to create the thing that I needed. Some of you are already living your purpose, but you actually are looking at other people and going, "I need to look like them," and you haven't taken the time to reflect back, going, "Actually, the thing that I'm doing is the thing that's my purpose, and it's helping these people. And so now that I'm aware of that, I amplify that." Because you're out there amplifying and doing it, it will evolve, because you will continue to hone in and understand and be curious, and change things. So either it inadvertently finds you, and you're doing someone else's purpose, and they'll be grateful, or you discover what it is. But if you look inside.

Brad Crowell 34:20  

But that's... yeah, it goes... you were both talking about self-reflection, but it goes back to, you know, your purpose in life is not something you find, it's something that you do.

Lesley Logan 34:29  

Yes.

Brad Crowell 34:30  

And it is also... it's a change and evolve over time.

Lesley Logan 34:33  

It's kind of like those movies where the person goes out in seek of what their purpose is, but really their purpose was there all the time, but they weren't taking the time to see that it was there. Go self-reflect anyways. Anything else, Brad?

Brad Crowell 34:47  

Yeah. He said with purpose you can navigate and make adjustments, right? And he talked about figuring out what actions match the frequency and energy of where you're at right now.

Lesley Logan 34:57  

Yeah, that's true. That's great.

Brad Crowell 34:59  

Yeah, I mean, we'll just leave it... we'll just leave that there. Go back and listen, because...

Lesley Logan 35:04  

Adrian is great.

Brad Crowell 35:05  

Yeah, he's great.

Lesley Logan 35:05  

And I, by the way.

Brad Crowell 35:06  

He does voice acting. How cool.

Lesley Logan 35:08  

Well, let's listen to his voice.

Brad Crowell 35:09  

Yeah, it's amazing.

Lesley Logan 35:10  

Honestly, like, he should really write sleepy stories, like those sleep stories. I would listen every day.

Brad Crowell 35:16  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 35:17  

I also would even listen to him share bad news with that voice, because it's just like, you know, like the BBC type, where it's just matter-of-fact, you know what I mean? Like, I think I could be like, "Okay, well, we're not all gonna die, so there we go." Adrian, thanks for being you. Thanks for being back. You guys, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 35:34  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 35:35  

Share our episodes with a friend who needs to figure out what their purpose is, and then leave a review. Yes, and then send in your win, because you're someone who likes this podcast, or someone likes a checklist, and I just gave you three things that are easy to do, easy to check off. You're gonna feel super successful in your day, so then you can go Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 35:52  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 35:53  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 36:36  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 36:41  

It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team @desenio.co.

Brad Crowell 36:45  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Chofi.

Lesley Logan 36:52  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals,

Brad Crowell 36:56  

Also to Angelina Herrico for adding all of our content to our website, and finally to Meredith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Most people are waiting to find their purpose. Adrian Starks says that's exactly why they're stuck. The podcaster, voice narrator, professional speaker, and entrepreneur behind Your Purposeful Life returns to the show to share with Lesley Logan about the real cost of perfectionism, the salmon's lesson on fighting your purpose, and the daily self-reflection practice that quietly rebuilds your direction. This one's for anyone in a rebuild season, ready to stop searching and start moving.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why saying "I don't know" is the most underrated leadership move.
• The three cycles every purposeful life moves through on repeat.
• What happens when you stop checking in with your own purpose
• The two questions Adrian asks instead of just journaling his thoughts.
• The real difference between nice people and kind people in your life.

Episode References/Links:

• Adrian Starks Website - https://adrianstarks.com
• Your Purposeful Life Podcast - https://beitpod.com/purposefullife
• Adrian Starks on YouTube - https://beitpod.com/adrianyoutube
• Adrian Starks LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/feed/?nis=true
• Adrian Starks Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/adrian.starks
• Ep 191. with Adrian Starks - https://beitpod.com/ep191
• The Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish - https://a.co/d/0iNbLUAL
• Are You My Mother by P.D. Eastman - https://a.co/d/0clbpmbU
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

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Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

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Episode Transcript:

Adrian Starks 0:00  

Your purpose in life is not something you find, it's something that you do, and that is going to change. It's going to evolve with time, and that's okay. Having self-doubt is okay; not knowing everything is okay.

Lesley Logan 0:13  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:55  

All right, Be It babe. I'm gonna keep this short and sweet, because you've got some gems, some nuggets, some magic coming at you. We have one of the best conversations I had at the beginning of this pod, episode 191. Our guest is Adrian Starks, and he is back, and he is back with so much. It's so fun how a difference of a few years can make when you're living your life and you're following your purpose and reflecting what you can do and what you learn about yourself that you can share with others. So here are so many amazing tips on helping you find your purposeful life. And if you love Adrian, go check out his podcast, Your Purposeful Life. 

Lesley Logan 1:29  

All right, Be It Pod, we have a guest back. I think, honestly, this might be the biggest gap from the first episode to the next episode. So, Adrian Starks, we have a lot to talk about. We, one, probably have to reintroduce you to everybody, and then two, we have to hear what you've been up to, how you're being it till you see it. So, tell everyone who you are and what you're rocking at these days.

Adrian Starks 1:48  

Well, it is so great to be back, Lesley. Let me tell you. My name is Adrian Starks, of course. I'm a podcaster, voice narrator, speaker, entrepreneur, all the good stuff. But yeah, that's who I am.

Lesley Logan 2:01  

Are you reading books? Are you a narrator like that? Are commercials what we're doing with it? I mean, a great voice.

Adrian Starks 2:06  

We're reading books, we're narrating for commercials, we're doing a lot of things.

Lesley Logan 2:11  

Cool, that's so fun. How did... okay, we have to talk more about that. But first, so we had you on for episode 191, and I was on your pod, and we really had a great time because you had some really great "be it till you see it" moments. And I think maybe we can go back a little bit of the be it till you see it where we left off to here, because maybe I missed it, maybe I didn't get as excited, but I can't believe narrating commercials and stuff like that. That's got to be so fun using this amazing voice you have to do what you're doing. So take us back a little bit, so we can get to the present.

Adrian Starks 2:48  

Okay, so how did I get into that? Well, that's a good question. I started out as speaking, professional speaking, and then I just started making connections along the way, started auditioning for certain things. I did a lot of things on certain platforms, like reading for children's books, I did some audios for other people's books, and then one thing led to another. The next thing I know, I'm getting offered opportunities to do other things, like narrating, and it's fun for me. I enjoy it, and I love it. So that's where I'm at today, doing that, along with podcasting, along with just being it till you see it.

Lesley Logan 3:20  

Yeah, how has your podcast changed? It's been like almost 400 episodes since we've talked, so that's like at least two years.

Adrian Starks 3:28  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 3:30  

Because when we start our podcast, we have an intention of what it is, and then we evolve. The podcast has to evolve. What have you kept the same, and what have you realized that as you've changed, you've changed?

Adrian Starks 3:44  

Wow, the podcast has evolved, and I've changed over time, in a way of not so polished like I was before. Before, I was very astute, and I had to talk about this, talk about that, and make sure all my answers are correct. Now I was like, you know what, there's some things I just don't know, and I'm gonna show certain sides of myself that no one's ever seen. So now people are seeing the comical side of me. I'm into comics, I'm into a lot of fun things, comic cards, comic books, superheroes, of course, reading. But the podcast has evolved in a sense of me now just... I'm not looking for the answer of purpose. I just want to understand what people's perspective of it is, and that has changed.

Lesley Logan 4:30  

Oh, I understand that. I get that, because it's called Your Purposeful Life. And I love that you're like, "I thought it has to be astute. Everything has to have an answer, because that's what everyone wants." Everyone wants an answer. I have these students in this mentorship program, and they asked a question, and I talked for seven minutes. My fathom is like that's like a monologue, and I was like, "I have fully answered your question, and I want to acknowledge that it doesn't sound like there's an answer in there because you want yes or no."

Adrian Starks 5:01  

That's the truth.

Lesley Logan 5:01  

But it's such a lot of questions about our life and the things that we do. There's nuances; there's things that might be too much purpose for you and not enough for someone else. And so it's complicated.

Adrian Starks 5:14  

It's very complicated. And I go by the philosophy of Socrates. He said that "I know that I know nothing," and that is something that is very courageous to do in this day and time. Yes, we want to be knowledgeable about things. Yes, we want to have things that we give to people that are correct, because, like in your case, when you're teaching people, you want the knowledge to be there for them. But there's a lot of cases where there's just some things we don't know, and that's okay. That's what learning is for, and being able to be a person in your field and be a leader, and say, "You know what, I don't know, but I would like to find that answer out with you, or find some type of solution to what this is." And that's where I feel like we're living now in this day and time; people are looking for solutions, but they're also looking for connection to that solution.

Lesley Logan 6:06  

Yeah, and I think there's a trust to be built there. There has to be something that there's an alignment. I actually remember when I first became a Pilates instructor, I think I had to know the answer to everything, and I have found that my clients and the students I teach, they might not love when I say, "I don't know. Let me think about it," but also I may never know. The person I studied under has passed, the person he studied under has passed, like there's just going to be some things we don't have an answer to. So I think it's very brave and courageous to be like, "I don't know the answer to that, but this is what I know, and I know enough of this to keep going in this direction." Being a recovering perfectionist and overachiever, I used to really need someone to tell me the right or left turn to take, and I've gotten better at going, "Oh, I'm going to take this left-hand turn, and based on the information I have, it should get me where I'm going, and if it doesn't, we'll get as far as we did, and we'll figure it out."

Adrian Starks 7:05  

That is the same way with me, too. You and I both share that common theme of being the perfectionist and wanting to have, we call these Type A personalities, they want certain things a certain way, and that's okay. But there are times where you have to just let things flow. I was thinking about this the other day. I had a day where everything seemed to be going against me, and I was trying my best, because I'm very stubborn, to make things go the way that I wanted them to. And the more I did that, I found that there was more resistance, something got delayed, something didn't happen, something fell through, and then I realized that, okay, I'm going against the nature of things. And when we go against the nature of things, when we try to make things perfect when they're not meant to be, that's going to be major resistance, because everything has to flow a certain way.

Lesley Logan 7:57  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 7:57  

I'm all about looking at nature as a way of teaching, and if you look at the salmon, so I'm from the Pacific Northwest, here in Seattle, and the salmon, when they go upstream, that one last journey to lay their eggs then spawn, they go upstream. That's the last thing they do when they get there, is do that, and then they die. Now, the question remains: is it the exhaustion that gets them? Is it just that that was their purpose, like we're going to go back, we're going to give life, and then that's it? Well, there's a number of things going on, but the true essence is that that journey against the flow of the river, that's what exhausts them. So, by the time they get to the top and they do their thing, there is no energy left to go back.

Lesley Logan 8:47  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 8:47  

And when I look at our days and our lives, and when we're going against the grain of what our purposes are, then that creates major resistance. It makes us feel like we're not worth it, makes us feel like we're not perfect. It makes us feel like we're incompetent, and the answer to that is that we're not. We're truly good at where we are. We can always be better, but we don't need to be perfect.

Lesley Logan 9:11  

Yeah, I interviewed someone about being 1% better every day, and eventually that just is too compounding for me. I've done math, and that's a lot, for the recovering overachiever. 1% better every day, and it's like some days you're gonna be 3% worse, because you made a mistake that you had to go learn and unravel and go back, and that requires... there's just things, it's a lot of pressure. But I do think that as long as your intention is to be a learner and to continue to put out what you feel your creative spirit is, then you're going to make mistakes, but you can recover from them and keep going, and you learn more, you have better muscle strength. Some days when you're having those resistances, you actually just build stronger resilience for what you're going to do, because the closer you get to the thing that you want, you'll have a lot of rejection along the way. People doubting that your idea is a good one, and you need to strengthen your resilience, so you can get to where you want to go. Because when you get there, there's going to still be some doubters; it's going to be even more, because now you're more known for it. And so now there are these people who are like, "Who do you think you are?" And it's like, I think I'm the person who's been working on this for 20 years. Where are you? You just got here.

Adrian Starks 10:25  

Exactly. That's what people see, they see the outcome, they see just that result. They don't see the build-up to it.

Lesley Logan 10:31  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 10:31  

And it's like when you look at trees when they grow, you don't see the roots that are deep into the ground that have spent years getting its grounding so the tree can go upward and it can balance itself. You only see the blossoming of the tree, and we forget that there's a lot going on in the dark here, a lot that's causing this tree to be the way it is. And I love the fact that you said learning too, because that kind of rang a bell with me when I talk about purposeful living. There's three cycles, and one of them is learning. We have to be constant students of ourselves and our environments, learning what is actually going on in my environment, what am I not getting, what mistakes am I making, what can I improve, and then that learning process will trigger the second step. Once you realize that, that second step is growth.

Lesley Logan 11:19  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 11:20  

We trust what we've learned. Right now, we're beginning to put it into action a little bit. We're starting to apply it, like, "Okay, this didn't work. Let me dial back here. Let me try this now. Let me try something different. Let me try a different road. Let me not go down this road anymore." And then, once you do that enough, that growth, then we move into the third part of the cycle, which is self-expression. That's the complete trust that now you've learned it, you put it into action, and now you know what works and what doesn't work for you. Now you're just going to have some fun with it. Then once you start having fun, the confidence builds up. Okay, now let's learn some more, let's grow some.

Lesley Logan 11:58  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 11:59  

And you just keep doing that over and over through your lifespan here on the planet. And the beautiful thing is, like you were mentioning, you don't have to be perfect doing it, make a mess, and then clean it up as you go.

Lesley Logan 12:10  

Oh my god, I think the best things... I look at them in my office at the end of the day, and I'm like, "Yeah, we did some great work here." Maybe that's the ADHD that just puts things down instead of putting it away, but at the end of the day I look and go, "Oh yeah, if I thought I didn't do anything today, I was wrong." Clearly, I've been in every place in this room, I've done all these things, and I think that's a sign of a good day. It's interesting. I think another part of that growth process you're talking about is putting yourself around people who are the next step ahead, because if you end up doing all of that, and then you're just surrounded by people who haven't done that, it's really easy to either get a little full of yourself or to stop growing, or think that there's not another level. I've always had some great friends in my career that are about seven to 10 years ahead of me in age or in the profession, and I love it because they are always telling me what their complaints are, and I can go, "Oh, well, I don't have to experience that complaint. That sounds like a terrible thing, that sounds really exhausting." If I just change it now, I feel like I'm a little bit... not skipping ahead, but just having stronger guidance towards where I'm at and what I'm doing. So it's almost like the HOV lane on the freeway. I'm still going to be in a little bit of traffic, but it's a little less, less people.

Adrian Starks 13:33  

No, I agree with you. I love that, because it's so true. We do need to surround ourselves with people that uplift us, inspire us, and also show us what not to do. We can learn two ways: learn what to do and learn what not to do. A lot of times, learning what not to do is even bigger than learning what to do. It saves you time and energy. And we also have to be careful, too, with people that are around us that may be, not intentionally but unconsciously, pulling us away from that thing that we really want to do for ourselves, for our communities, for society. We get used to just being the person that's like, "Okay, we're good, we have a good time, and we get along." But is this person really, or this group, are they really challenging you to grow? Are they really allowing you to see things that you need to see in order to move forward? And it's hard. It's really hard to think about that consciously, because we get so used to just being in the group, and we can talk a lot about self-reliance, but we need each other.

Lesley Logan 14:40  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 14:41  

You can never ascend alone; I believe that completely. Back in the day when I was doing my professional speaking on stages, I was in Canada, I was speaking, I thought it was all about me. I was like, "Hey, I got the answers, I'm teaching everybody." Then, boom, COVID hit. Humbleness, you know. It was like there was nobody around, because I was just by myself, and I was just doing my thing. I didn't have that group or those people to reassure me to say, "Hey, okay, you need to recalibrate here. We're doing this over here, you might want to take a look at what we're doing." I didn't have that group, and I'm glad that you said that, because there needs to be people that kind of challenge you. But at the same time, when you hit a pocket where it's like, "What do I do? How do I get better?" then you have that group to look to, or that person to look to, as an example.

Lesley Logan 15:40  

I agree. I think it's really easy, and I see it happening now, because it's almost like we forgot that there was a COVID. My schedule, even though as intentional as I've been, it's been very busy, and people are like, "Oh, when are you coming back?" And I'm like, "Probably not till 2028. I have not accepted any gigs for next year. I've not accepted any gigs." I've got an idea that I need to do, and that's gonna require me to be at home, and I've got another idea that won't happen unless I'm at home, so I gotta do that. And people just look at me like, "What?" And I'm like, "This is how busy I was pre-COVID." And then during COVID, it became very clear who my friends were because we were just at the same places at the same time, and who my friends were because they wanted to talk to me even when we weren't running into each other. So that really helped me go, "Okay, these are the people who care about me, no matter how they benefit, right?" And then these other people, they're not bad people if that's all they want to talk to me, but it's just that it's interesting to note who you want to share things with. But I think we have to realize that there was this beautiful time that helped us reflect on where we were going, and we got this reset, and how we used it hopefully was intentional. And then now we're back at it, and it's so easy to forget what that was. I'm seeing people fall back into the patterns of pre-COVID, and I'm like, I need to have intentional relationships. And speaking back to your podcast, my purpose is something that will probably change, will change as my life goes on, but if I'm not paying attention to it, I'm not gonna realize that; I'm gonna be doing five years ago's purpose.

Adrian Starks 17:19  

It's true. In the purpose thing, it's not what you find, it's what you do, and it's constantly evolving with you. We talked about in the beginning, you were asking me about what changed and what brought this about; it was just the changing of my purpose. I realized that there were things now that... okay, now I'm interested in this, or now this is moving into this direction because of these external situations that I can't control, so how do I adapt? Thomas Carlyle, he was a Scottish philosopher, and he said that a person without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder. What that means is that when you don't have a rudder in your ship, when something comes around unexpectedly, your ship just starts spinning and it goes off course. But when you have a rudder, meaning you have a purpose, something you're working with, no matter what's happening, you can navigate and be like, "Okay, let's make a little adjustment here. This may not work, but we're still going to go ahead with the plan." The plan is just altered a little bit, and that's what it is to be purposeful. It's just actively knowing that this year was different than three years ago, and so this year, what can we do that matches the frequency and energy and intensity of where we're at right now? And that's what I've come to realize, it's just you don't have to look back and say, "This is where I was, oh poor me." A lot of people felt this way, and I felt this way, like what happened to that spark, what happened to that person that was doing all these things over here? And I have to come to a reality check. Life... shit happens. Things happen, and we can't control them, but we also have the amazing ability as human beings to adapt and adjust.

Lesley Logan 18:56  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 18:56  

We're the only species on the planet that can do that. All the other things of nature and animals, if there's a cliff, they just keep going because they know they got to get on the other side, migration-wise. But when it's us, we're like, "That shit ain't working. This is not working, we'll go over here." That's our ability to do that, and that's why I said the purpose, it's like you can guide it, it doesn't necessarily have to pull you, and that's where we get our true self-creative factors coming from and just making changes that we need to make in our lives.

Lesley Logan 19:30  

Yeah, so I want to go back to because you know what your podcast has become now. Brad and I have been making changes to our pod, and we were on our vacation in Europe, and we're listening to a podcast, and it started with like... I say we're gonna stop playing the music before the ads. Why are we doing that? Because if we want it to sound really produced, we have great producers, they're listening to this, you guys are amazing, love you, but they're great producers with or without that. And all these other podcasts I listen to, they don't have the music going into it, they just go into an ad. And that's kind of annoying, but you know what? How the podcast gets paid is for ads, so sorry, that's how it's paid for. These things cost a lot of money to do, so we're doing that. And it's like, "Well, what else?" And I'm like, "You know, I'm actually bored of this. I'm actually tired of that." And then you're like, "Oh my god, but my listeners are so used to it, people don't like change." But also it's like, "But this is my podcast, and I have to like doing it." So, what are some changes you've made, or decisions you've done? And then, did you think about how did you... did you tell the listeners, or you just did it? How did you do it?

Adrian Starks 20:32  

I have to say, to be honest and fully transparent, I did not tell my listeners I was going to take a hiatus off. I just did it. And what's interesting is that listeners... they begin to listen more because they missed that space. There's this saying that people don't miss you until you're gone.

Lesley Logan 20:53  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 20:54  

When people don't hear from you, they get very curious. I always say this to people, I say, "I'm incubating." They're like... "I'm cooking up some stuff here, I'm working on some other things that I'm just incubating right now, but there's still things you can listen to." And I think that it would be nice to tell our listeners that, "Hey, I'm going to go on a five-month hiatus here, or six months, or seven months." But in all honesty, I don't think that would be... for me, that wouldn't be a good idea, because then they just stop listening. They'll just start moving on to something.

Lesley Logan 21:23  

Yeah because they know, "Okay, they'll be back in six months."

Adrian Starks 21:25  

So they're like, "Well, he's not gonna release anything new, so we're just gonna move on to the next person." And some people will do that, but I think that at the end of the day, we're human. If we're taking off and we're gone, we're gone. And when we come back, then we can explain, like, "Hey, I was gone for a minute. This is what's been going on." People want the real these days, and they want to know what is going on in your life.

Lesley Logan 21:48  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 21:49  

Like I remember when professional speaking was so polished, everyone was on stage, they had suits and ties on, and I'll never forget I started out with a suit and tie. For some people, they can feel good; that makes them feel great. But I was like, "This is not me, I can't be this person." So I stopped wearing the suit and tie, I started being myself, wearing casual clothes. Then the podcasting industry kicked off, it boomed. It started back in 2018 is when it really began to take off, and at the podcasting stage, I was beginning to do the same thing: well-polished, all this stuff, and then I realized, no, not me. And the podcast over time has changed, it's evolved. You will see different perspectives of myself. There was one person asking me, "Do you think you should take down the episodes from the very beginning, because it's so not in alignment with what you're doing now?" And I said, "Absolutely not." I said, "This shows transparency, that I started with this idea, now we're moving on to these things, and it just shows the purpose, how it's constantly changing." And that's where we're at. But yeah, back to your question, I kind of went on a tangent there, but back to your question about whether you tell people or not: I think no. I think we do what comes natural, and yeah. In this day and time, everyone wants attention. I've noticed this on social media, I'm gonna have to say it, I'm gonna have to bring it up here, it's been on my mind a lot, everybody wants attention, everybody's doing podcasting right now. Lesley, you've been around for quite some time, you're a veteran in podcasting, but the people now... everybody, birds, cats, dogs, they all have podcasts now.

Lesley Logan 23:26  

I know everybody wants.

Adrian Starks 23:27  

To be on a podcast, and you know what? It's saturated the market. We're competing with people who don't really have a passion for what they do; they're just getting people on their show to talk to. I know some people will disagree with that, and that's okay, but this is my perspective because I've seen it. When we feel a certain way, like something doesn't resonate with us, it's okay to pull away. That shows we truly are in our essence. We're not doing this to impress, and we're not doing this hoping you stay with me and follow me. If you connect with me energetically and you really like what I do, then you'll go with the flow. I understand it's a business for us too, and we have to continue to do the things that bring business, but at the same time, it is what it is. You just have to know that if you're feeling a certain way, either do it or don't do it. I have this thing I do: if I'm not feeling an episode, I'm not going to get on a mic. I'm not going to talk if I'm having a shitty day, sorry for my language here, but if I'm having one of those days where I've encountered someone or done something in business and it's just not sitting right with me, then I'm not going to get on the mic. At that point, that energy is going to come across, my head will be somewhere else, and I'm not truly present. So, I think it's great for us to be able to take time off and just step away for a bit.

Lesley Logan 24:49  

I appreciate you saying that. There's this one podcast that Brad listened to, and the guy was like, "I'm taking off three months. Here's why I'm doing that, and here's what's going on." He was very honest. He said, "I'm having some burnout, I feel like I'm overworking, and I want to put some new systems in place." Then he said, "And here are the things I created for you." And I thought, Oh my god, why would you do that? You are tired. It was very thoughtful, but that was just extra work just to get to the finish line. And this other podcast I listened to, I realized, like, a couple, because he's a Friday podcast, it's True Crime of the Week, and so obviously it's very topical, it's very like time sensitive, and like after a couple weeks I was like, oh, that's interesting, I haven't heard from him in a bit, right, and then it kind of just went on, and the other day, two weeks ago, he came back, and I was like, oh, they're The True Crime of the Week, right, I was so excited to see it in my lineup, so I like hit it, and he goes, yeah, it was supposed to take a two week hiatus, and I took four months, and I apologize, it's been a while, but I really.. this is what I didn't know. There's a lot going on that just.. it felt like I didn't feel like I could talk about true crime with all the heaviness that's going on, and I didn't have the words to say what I was feeling, and so I just took time for myself, and I was like, you know what, I actually hold nothing against him, because I actually found that to be even more honest. It was like I needed time off, because I'm a big fan of, like, I'm not going to share anything with the world unless I fully processed it, because then, and I learned this from Tiffany Haddish, from her book, The Last Black Unicorn, she's like, if you have fully processed it, then no matter what people say, it's just going to bounce right off of you, right, but if you haven't fully processed it and you shared it, you're gonna take whatever they're saying personally, or you're gonna be offended by it, or you're gonna get frustrated, or you're gonna feel like you defend yourself again. And so I'm often late to some of the topics that are online, because it takes me a little bit to go, well, how do I feel? Does that bother me? Why does it bother me? What's going on? And then when I've processed it, then I'll, then I'll share it, and I find, like, I think it's better to be human, and social media is a problem. Podcasting, oh my god, there's so many. I'm proud to say this podcast in the top 1% of all podcasts in the world, even with all the crap that's out there. But, like, I find that sometimes I'm like, oh, I should have more followers or more likes on the posts that I have based on my career, but I won't do the click bait stuff. I refuse to do these three exercises, help you trim your waist. It's like, no, if you're perimenopausal, good fucking luck, and your hormones.. like, I'm sorry, there isn't, you know? My girlfriend was like, "Just say these three, and then, and then get them to click and go sorry, there is none. Go talk to your doctor." I'm like, that is just going to get people mad, like that would piss me off. I felt lied to, so it's not my style. So, I think, you have to stay true to yourself, and sometimes that means just honoring the pause. But also, Adrian, I feel like that requires self-reflection. So, what are you doing? Because it feels like you're quite knowledgeable about yourself. What do you do to make sure you're checking in with yourself? Do you journal? What do you do?

Adrian Starks 27:41  

So, I would say that the first thing I do is I ask myself questions. I know that a lot of people talk about journaling, and that's part of it, but in all honesty, I just ask myself, what's going on? You just gotta sit down somewhere and just say, okay, what's going on? What am I not happy about? What do I want? That's the big thing. What do I want? And then you start thinking in your head, and then thoughts start rolling. And as those thoughts start rolling, write some of them out or record them. Either way, document them somewhere. Then I ask myself, what do I want to do? Not like what do I want to do in five years, because that's just too much processing in a time where you're just like

Lesley Logan 28:23  

I agree. Just here to harm me, but I do know what I have told my team is I want to be retired in 10, but what I want to do in five is like a whole different story.

Adrian Starks 28:34  

It is, and we put time frames on ourselves, or we put this limit of like, I got to be here in five years, it's a good marker to get you going, but it's not necessarily something you need to be focused on, like that's what you, that's how it's going to end up, like it could be a number of things that happens between that point that brings that goal about, but like I said, there's, and I have to be careful the word goal, because the goal I feel is very saturated too, and I use it in a different term, I use goal as this, g o a l, get out and live, do something. Yeah, I use that as that's what I use for it. It just teaches me that when I said something, it forces me to get outside of my box and start living a little bit. Scare yourself a little bit. Say I'm gonna go over here, I'm gonna fly over here, I'm gonna spend time over here, or I'm gonna do this, do something that's just out of your comfort zone to get you out of that rut. And then that's what I do. So, once I'm out of the rut, then I'm like, okay, now let's sit down and let's look at creating a plan. But the first thing is, you got to get yourself out of the rut, you got to do something just to move, move your body, so to speak, right? You tell your clients this, move your body, you got to move, move, move your thoughts out of this head, and to put it somewhere else, but I do that, so I do a lot of self-reflection of asking myself, what do I want, what's going on, and then I also remind myself of what I've been doing. You've got to give yourself a pat on the back, because whatever you've been doing, it's been working.

Lesley Logan 29:58  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 29:59  

And a lot of times we have high expectations for ourselves because we live in a world of comparisons, and it's very easy to do that now. Because when you go online, it's not just people who are very successful out there. You can see your friends, your family, and you're like, "Oh, hey, they flew over here and went to the Bahamas. I'm stuck here in this area over here, I can't even do this." And then you start down-talking yourself.

Lesley Logan 30:25  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 30:26  

This happens with people in relationships and business and social environments, and so I think be careful with comparisons.

Lesley Logan 30:32  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 30:33  

So I make sure I don't do that. That's why I get away from social media sometimes. I'll spend maybe a few days detoxing. I won't even look at social media, and then I'll just kind of sit in the dark a little bit, so to speak, away from technology, and just ask myself questions. I do reading a lot. Reading is a big part of my life. You mentioned a book before, and I love reading books. I don't necessarily read the whole book. I do what I call check-ins, so I will find something in the book that resonates with me, and then I will reflect on that

Lesley Logan 31:07  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 31:08  

Along with my other things.

Lesley Logan 31:09  

Yeah, I like the talking to yourself, because journaling for me is really great, but it's really easy for it to become a to-do list. Like I could be, "Oh, don't forget that." But if I am out walking my dog, I mean, maybe it's because I have ADHD and I'm an Aquarius, so I live in my head, but I have these interesting thoughts pop in and I'm like, where's that coming from? Why am I thinking that? What have I been doing? And I love the pat yourself on the back with what you did do, because I do think most people, the reason they get into comparison is because they've forgotten what they did do. It's why this podcast has a Friday episode where people have to share their wins, because I really think people need to realize there's a lot of wins. And we had someone in one of our groups who was like, she had her best friend's mom die three months ago, and her best friend died two weeks ago, and she's like, "How do I still work on my goals during this time?" And I'm like, you don't. You're going through something. Loss is real, and we all grieve very differently. And maybe someone can work on their goals because they're not tackling the grief right now, it's not hitting them, and it hits them in five years. I don't know, there's different things, but I can't sit here with the life experience I've had and the business coaching I've done and go, "Yeah, just do one thing a day." No. Did you shower and sleep today? That's great. Did you actually eat some food? Are your kids still alive? You're nailing it, like you're going through something. I think people aren't realizing that the Bahamas trips are not the win. The win is, especially when you're in something, the win is that you got up and you tried again today, you know? And I think reflecting on that is really important. I do think asking yourself what I want, that is, because I often think people ask themselves that five years ago but forgot to ask themselves four and three and two and today. And so they forget why they're doing what they're doing, because that's not what they want anymore, but they never checked in.

Adrian Starks 33:03  

They never checked in. And here's the catch: the answer won't come to you right away, and it's not supposed to. You're asking something deeper inside yourself that hasn't been listened to with all the noise. So, once you put that there and you say, "What do I want?" then overnight, who knows? You may wake up in the morning and you've got an idea about something, so that's coming from that deep part of you. And there was a Howard Thurman, he was the mentor to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and he said that the greatest and the longest and hardest journey ever is a journey inward. And we avoid that journey because we don't think there's anything there. The answer is inside of us. We just don't take out time to really probe and ask ourselves that question. We're very good about asking other people questions, but we don't want to ask ourselves questions, and that's something that has evolved with me. It's like, okay, you're good at asking questions and interviewing, but what about you? What's behind that skin of yours? What's going on? What's going on, dude? What are we doing today? You want to start checking in and being like, okay, what's really the problem here? You got irritated with this person, they didn't do anything to you. Then you got to pull yourself aside and say, okay, what's happening?

Lesley Logan 34:16  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 34:17  

Why am I upset? And that's that self-reflection of like, okay, you're upset because there's a number of things that you're ignoring that you're putting to the side, and you're feeling like people don't see you because you don't see yourself.

Lesley Logan 34:30  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 34:30  

So therefore you're putting that on other people, and that's where we have to be very careful with ourselves and just be patient and be kind to ourselves more often, because that was a problem I had. I held myself to very high standards, that I had to do this, I had to be this way, I had to be well-polished. That's why now you hear some curse words coming off of me, because I'm just being natural.

Lesley Logan 34:54  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 34:54  

I mean, I can go off and say all these astute, know all these great words, and make myself look very articulate, blah blah blah blah, but at the end of the day, it's like, how am I showing up right now? That's the truth, and that's what people need to hear. So, I would say, yeah, talk to yourself, ask yourself questions, and be careful with who you ask information from.

Lesley Logan 35:20  

Yes.

Adrian Starks 35:21  

Because that's what gets you in trouble. And a lot of times with people working in environments where they may not be around the people that they choose to be around, I want to get to these people too, because a lot of people out there, they're working in environments they don't really want to be in, but they have an objective to get the hell out of there. But in the meantime, you're with people, let's just say the work world, seven, eight hours a day, and then you're dealing with those people, and then you're trying to get out of that environment. Well, you have to be careful what you listen to, how you conversate with them, and for goodness' sake, don't ask them for advice if they're not doing what you're doing, or if they haven't dove into what you're learning. Do not ask them, please, no, don't confide in them. I don't care how nice they are. There's this thing too that came up about nice versus kind.

Lesley Logan 36:09  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 36:10  

And people get in trouble with this. It's like, okay, they're a nice person, great, but do they have good intentions towards you? And most likely, it's probably not.

Lesley Logan 36:18  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 36:19  

A kind person, they just want to do good, they don't need nothing from you, right? So, a lot of people get mixed up in that, so be careful. I would say to people, when you're in that moment where you're vulnerable, the vulnerable state, guard that.

Lesley Logan 36:32  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 36:32  

Be careful, be careful, be careful. And one more thing about the grieving that you mentioned: I lost my father a few years ago, and I'm still grieving because he had such a powerful presence in my life. So, grieving is not something we get over. We're supposed to learn to live with it. And I've cried multiple times, and every now and then, sometimes I catch myself, I'll just tear up, but you know what? I let it flow, because that's how he impacted me.

Lesley Logan 36:59  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 37:00  

And for the person that you just mentioned, I would advise for them not to ignore that. If you have a moment and you're with somebody, tell somebody, "Hey, you know what? I'm having a moment right now. I need to step away." It's okay to tell people that.

Lesley Logan 37:15  

It's actually kind. It's kind because you're being super... you're actually being real authentic. You're feeling your feel, and you're letting people in like, "Hold on, I know we're supposed to have coffee right now, I just need to have a moment." And you can however you want to have that moment, go into your car, take the extra time, whatever that is. But I do think people think that they have to get over a loss like that, and the grief coaches that I've interviewed on this podcast, what I have really understood is that you don't. That's why grief is so hard. Your brain has to learn new rhythms and new patterns because that person's not there, and that person was part of a blanket that you've woven of your life, and so you're expecting that person where they repeat, and they're not. So you have to weave a new pattern for your brain. It takes time.

Adrian Starks 38:00  

It so takes time, and that's all we've got. At the end of the day, we only have time. And time doesn't go backwards, it doesn't go forward, it's just right there. And when we're grieving something, or it could be not just someone in our family, could be anything, could be a loss of an opportunity, that's a grieving thing. It could be a loss of a business or something. I mean, it could be anything. We have to just be mindful that we're human, and don't blame ourselves and don't beat ourselves up internally about it. We have to just know that this is something that's happened. Now, what can I do that can move me forward? And sometimes it's just going to take time. Patience is what we have to have.

Lesley Logan 38:43  

Yeah, also people don't realize that you could be excited about the next step, and there's still grief for what you left behind, you know? Like, I was so excited to move to Las Vegas, I still grieve that I closed a studio to do it, and I was very proud of that work, and I wasn't really actually ready to close that studio, but this is really exciting. So, something can be exciting, and there's still a loss that's there that you have to go, "Oh, what about that am I bummed about? Where..." You have to let those feelings happen. And I think that the more people actually self-reflect, the more they're going to find purpose in their life, they're going to figure it out. I find like people are looking to others to figure out their purposes, and I want to go back to your advice thing, because I really think people have to hear this 17,000 times. And I love that you brought up like you can have that job that pays the bills, but don't ask those people for advice. That might even be family too. I love mine, they listen to this pod, and sometimes I'll tell you personally, I'm not asking them for advice. They're not entrepreneurs, their face is not the business. If they say the wrong thing, they don't have people who will be disappointed, like hundreds of people, you know. So, they're not the best people for advice. Could I tell them things? Of course, that's different, telling people something, sharing your life with them is very different than asking them what to do. And so you really might need to take some time to write down who would be the best people in my life to ask advice from. If you don't have those people, like when I was first starting out, I didn't have money or mentors, I had to go, okay, I've listened to podcasts starting like 2012, 2013, I'm like, "This person makes a lot of sense. This is the person I'm going to infer advice from," and I would search their pods to find the thing that I thought might be an answer to my question. Sometimes it's that. Sometimes you don't even know the person you're asking advice from, but be intentional about that. I agree.

Adrian Starks 40:33  

Yeah, being intentional and just knowing that you're going to vibe with people a certain way. There are some people out there in the industry when I first started that I liked, and some that I didn't really vibe with. Didn't mean that there was anything against them, it's just that everyone's different. So, advice I would also give is that don't look at someone for their popularity, look for how they make you feel.

Lesley Logan 40:55  

Beautiful.

Adrian Starks 40:56  

Don't look at someone and say, "Oh, they've got millions of comments, they've got millions of likes. Oh, they must know a lot. Let me listen to them." No, nope, nope, nope, nope. That's something that's going to get your attention; it's designed that way.

Lesley Logan 41:09  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 41:10  

How do they make you feel?

Lesley Logan 41:12  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 41:13  

No, how do they make you feel? How do they sound when you listen to them? Could you listen to them all day? Could you listen to them in your times of need? How do they make you feel? That's the important thing of connection that we're missing today. We're so quick to look at the external, like, what has this person accomplished? Cool, then they're credible. Awesome, I'll follow. Awesome, I'll subscribe. Awesome, I'll comment.

Lesley Logan 41:35  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 41:35  

They have a person over here, they may have a lot less, but they got a lot more to offer, and you're passing that up because you're just looking at numbers here. It's like I would encourage people that now is the time for us to find guidance that aligns with our purpose of being. And everyone, there's over how many people are on the planet right now? 

Lesley Logan 41:57  

It's like 8 billion.

Adrian Starks 41:58  

8 billion people on a planet. I heard this stat one time. Out of 8 billion people, no matter what you do in life, 5% of people are not going to like you, they're not going to vibe with you, you're not going to connect with them. 5%. So, my math may be really off, I'm not going to even say it, but it's in the millions.

Lesley Logan 42:20  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 42:20  

That you're gonna have a disconnect with people, no matter what you do. You could be well-polished, have everything together, and someone's gonna come around and be like, "Ah, they're phony." They're gonna talk some shit about you, because they just don't connect with you. They have no idea.

Lesley Logan 42:35  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 42:36  

About your background, your pedigree, what you've done. They just want to.

Lesley Logan 42:40  

We all do it. We all do it, like you see something on your Instagram out of social, and you're like, just the first second, don't like it. Moving on.

Adrian Starks 42:51  

You move on. You're like, "Hey, I'm not interested in it. What is this? This is silly."

Lesley Logan 42:57  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 42:57  

And that's part of us. We just have a natural sense of either we connect or we don't connect with certain things, and I think that in this time we're living in now, people are very overstimulated.

Lesley Logan 43:07  

Yes.

Adrian Starks 43:08  

There's so much information, there's so many solutions, there's so many offers, and we don't know where to look. It reminds you of like when you're sitting down and you have that night where it's a movie night, right? And you're just like, "Let me watch a movie, let me watch a TV show." And all of a sudden you got all these options, applications, and you're going from this application to this application, this application. Before you know it, it's like 30, 40 minutes later, and then you just give up and say, "You know what, damn it, just pick something, pick anything," because you're tired of looking.

Lesley Logan 43:41  

Yeah.

Adrian Starks 43:41  

And that's what's happening with us. We're just picking anything now we think is going to entertain us or bring us some type of joy.

Lesley Logan 43:48  

Yeah, because we can't handle being bored. Adrian, I could talk to you literally for more hours, but we do have to wrap this up. So we're gonna take a brief break, and then we're gonna find where people can find you, follow you, listen to your voice for many, many hours, and your Be It Action Items. 

Lesley Logan 43:59  

All right, Adrian, where do you hang out? Where can they listen to your podcast?

Adrian Starks 44:06  

Okay, so you can listen to my podcast anywhere, pretty much. It's called Your Purposeful Life with Adrian Starks. And go to my website, adrianstarks.com. You can listen to the podcast from there. You can go to my YouTube channel, which has the videos. You can also listen to some audio, I have affirmations that I've been doing lately as well.

Lesley Logan 44:25  

Oh my god, do you have, if you don't, you should have a Patreon for affirmations because if people are paying for you to be a narrator, can you imagine every day you read me an affirmation or a mantra? I love that.

Adrian Starks 44:39  

I can do that, Lesley. Yes. They could go to adrianstarks.com. I just want to keep it simple for people, go to adrianstarks.com, all my social media handles are there, and you can just go wherever you choose and just be inspired and listen. And if you can, yeah, definitely subscribe to the podcast, it always helps. Share it whenever you can, but more importantly, just know this: that your purpose in life is not something you find, it's something that you do, and that is going to change, is going to evolve with time, and that's okay. Having self-doubt is okay, not knowing everything is okay. And now we live in a time where you're never too old, don't put an age on anything to start something new, or to pick up where you left off with something.

Lesley Logan 45:27  

Oh my god, those are Be It Action Items if I ever heard any. Like, you just led right in, and I'm obsessed with all of them. Great. Adrian Starks, I'm so happy we did this. We'll have to do this again. You'll have to be a person who keeps going back on, because you just have so much great wisdom. You guys, share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Share with a friend who's stuck on like, "What's my purpose?" They need to hear this, because it's like that Dr. Seuss book, like, Are You My Mother? You know, it's like that's not how you find it. It's got to be some self-reflection. So, thank you. We'll do this again, and until next time, my loves, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan 46:03  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 46:45  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 46:50  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 46:55  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 47:02  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 47:05  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this Fuck Yeah Friday episode, Lesley Logan pushes back on the assumption that looking busy means being unavailable, reframing healthy boundaries as a deliberate way to protect personal energy. She shares a proud team win from an intense season, celebrates listener milestones, and reminds new Pilates instructors that being a beginner is worth honoring, not hiding. The episode wraps with a grounding mantra to carry into the week ahead.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Lesley unpacks her annoyance at being told she's so busy.
• The boundaries behind the busy: her time, on her schedule.
• A team win from one of their most chaotic seasons.
• Community wins, from CEO-time checklists to month-two milestones.
• The beginner-not-imposter reframe every new instructor needs to hear.

Episode References/Links:

• @on_point_pilates_studio – https://www.instagram.com/on_point_pilates_studio
• @_mariedecurtis – https://www.instagram.com/_mariedecurtis
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:48  

Hello, Be It babe. How are you? Welcome to the Fuck Yeah Friday episode. These quick and dirty fun episodes, Brad said he's going to join me on them, and he will at some point. I think. They'll still be quick and dirty, but they're fun because we're just bringing a thing that we do from our communities into this, which is just that, instead of saying what inspired me from the internet this week, because the internet has been non-inspiring. Oh my god, I've made my algorithms just mostly beautiful nail designs, but somehow stupid shit keeps coming through. So we're keeping things light and fun, and if you're in our Agency community, which is where we business coach Pilates, instructors, or our eLevate community, which is where our internship program members are, then you will have this channel where you can complain about something that happened that day, and then you have to have a win immediately. So, since we already do wins here, just figured I'd also get to complain too, but I'll have a win afterwards. And you can send in your "I need a moment" and your win, but make sure you send in both, or just a win, because if you just send an "I need a moment," we will delete it. Okay. 

Lesley Logan 1:52  

All right, so my moment is this, okay? I really don't like how people like to tell you how busy you are, because one, then I have to explain to them that I appear to be very busy, but I actually just have boundaries in place to protect my energy levels. And I love sharing that in a podcast format in a way that can help educate and give permission to people, but when it's a one-on-one situation, usually the people who are saying it are the ones who are kind of a little upset that they don't have you at their beck and call. And it's not that you don't have me, like you can't have me, you can absolutely have my attention and my time and my things, I just have boundaries for when that is due, when that can happen. And it's a little annoying because it makes when you say like, "Oh, you're so busy," it's like I'm in control of my day, my love. And so I guess my moment that I'm just, it's like I'm tired of people telling me how busy I am when I'm actually just organized and have boundaries in place, healthy ones. And sometimes I move them to do some things, and sometimes I can't move them to do some things, but I'm certainly not going to just move things around just so I'm available during the times that people want at their convenience, because it's not convenient for me. And guess what, you too are allowed to be busy, in air quotes, and have boundaries, and organized chaos, and then I have to fit myself into there, right? Like, we all get to do this, it's not just about me, we all can be like this. So that's what I'm a little irritated by this week, because I'm just tired of hearing it, and I'm tired of it being directed at like as if I don't want to spend time with someone, or I'm an asshole. No, no, I just know how much energy it takes to be me throughout the day, and I want to be me when you're with me. That's what I want. 

Lesley Logan 3:33  

So, my win, you know, this win is going to be a bit of a team win, but I'm just really proud of our team. In the last couple of months, we've had a lot going on. We had a five-day website-not-working thing. We had one of our major team members end up needing to go into a hospital because of what's going on with their pregnancy. And then we had Brad and I gone for a month, and we had spring training, and we had the announcement of summer tour, and blah blah blah. And I will just say, like, while nothing went as planned, everything is going better, and I'm just really proud of the team and myself, like just really kind of sticking to the vision and the values, and sharing the wins with each other, and complimenting each other, and supporting each other, and stepping up for each other, and doing the best we can while we're down a person while they're on their amazing maternity leave. And I'm proud to say that, like, the wheels are still on the bus, the ship is still set to sail, and things are still going, and you really learn a lot about what is possible and what is going right, and what systems do you have in place. And instead of going, "Oh, what, we don't have a system for that?" it's like, "Oh wait, what happened?" Oh, just like just keeping their attitude and head on straight. And it's just, you know, so our win as a team is that, you know, six years of growing this team and putting systems in place have allowed us to be in a very intense season with a little bit more polite juggling than we want with one less person, but we're doing it and proud of us. And you know, this too shall pass, because that person's maternity leave won't be forever. Thank God. And I know we'll just celebrate when they come back, but I'm just really proud of what we've done. So that's my win. 

Lesley Logan 5:09  

So now yours, you send them in to me. You can send them in to beitpod.com/questions. You can DM me on Instagram. Here we go. @on_point_pilates_studio has a couple, so personal practice has been strong, outside daily sunshine, and trained with my mentor on a one-to-one, and took a class, check, check. Admin wins: got a newsletter and a text blast out, submitted payroll to workers' comp, up to date. You know, it's nice when you get to do things for yourself, and you can check all the boxes of your CEO time. Way to go, Amanda. It was so fun to have you at the Pilates retreat as well, and I love that you are celebrating wins, both personal and professional. @_mariedecurtis: closed up my second month as a Pilates instructor. It still feels unreal, like a dream. Oh my god, I love that you're celebrating two months. I love it. I just had somebody Slack and say, "Well, I've only been teaching a little bit, so I feel like such an imposter," and it's like, yeah, because you're a beginner. You're not an imposter, you're just a beginner, and you should be a beginner, and a lot of us should be a beginner, and that will allow you to help your clients be beginners. And why is it bad to be a beginner? Not. So, congratulations, congratulations on your two months as a Pilates instructor. Thank you for letting us celebrate that with you. 

Lesley Logan 6:22  

And now let's get a mantra for you to close out this week: I believe in myself fully. I believe in myself fully. I believe in myself fully. All right, loves, you know what to do until next time. Be it till you see it. Have a good day. 

Lesley Logan 6:40  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 7:23  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 7:28  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 7:32  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 7:39  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 7:42  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In part two of the Stuck Series, Lesley Logan unpacks why feeling stuck rarely has anything to do with a lack of motivation and what's really keeping you frozen. She breaks down how mismatched systems, unrealistic expectations, and unspoken fear quietly drain your energy, and offers a practical framework for moving forward. Find out how messy action, not motivation, is what finally gets you unstuck.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The role outsourcing and systems play in getting unstuck.
• How motivation is fickle and why you can't rely on it.
• Why mismatched expectations vs. reality requires a rebuild
• Naming the fear underneath the freeze, plus building a backup plan.
• Tactile tools: two-minute rule, friction reducers, and messy action.

Episode References/Links:

• The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin - https://a.co/d/0fgVJtiK
• Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg - https://tinyhabits.com
• Ep. 613 Habit Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep613
• Ep. 614 Habit Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep614
• Ep. 616 Habit Series 3 - https://beitpod.com/ep616
• Ep. 617 Habit Series 4 - https://beitpod.com/ep617
• Ep. 619 Habit Series 5 - https://beitpod.com/ep619
• Ep. 620 Habit Series 6 - https://beitpod.com/620
• Ep. 622 Habit Series 7 - https://beitpod.com/ep622
• Ep. 623 Habit Series 8 - https://beitpod.com/623
• Ep. 256 with Rory Vaden - https://beitpod.com/ep256
• Ep. 688 Outgrowing Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep688
• Ep. 689 Outgrowing Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep689
• Ep. 93 with Jillian Flodstrom - https://beitpod.com/ep93
• Ep. 589 with Brad Bizjack - https://beitpod.com/ep589
• Cambodia Retreat Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.com
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Taking the action, taking an action that helps get you unstuck, is the antidote to fear, and it brings clarity. Action brings clarity. That's the hardest thing about all of this, is we're all waiting for motivation, or for us to just like wake up one day unstuck, but truthfully, we have to take a step, take some messy action to actually get unstuck. 

Lesley Logan 0:21  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 1:04  

Hi, Be It babe, welcome back. We're back on our stuck series, so we're getting unstuck today. So last episode we actually talked about what does feeling stuck actually feel like, and is it actually that we're stuck? And we kind of realized that we're not stuck, right? We might just be overwhelmed or lacking support or tools to get to where we want to go. We might have overwhelmed ourselves, or we might be putting pressure on ourselves, and that might be why we're feeling this way. It might be like being a perfectionist again. Sometimes it sneaks back up on us, right? So, the one thing that I hear people say that they need when they're feeling stuck is motivation, and we have to talk about motivation, because motivation is not the thing. 

Lesley Logan 1:37  

I used to think that I'm just a super motivated person. When I was younger, I was like, "Oh my god, if I said I was gonna do something, I do it," right? And what you realize when you read The Four Tendencies book by Gretchen Rubin, you discover like, "Oh no, that's just a tendency I have." If I say I'm gonna do something, I do it, whereas other people need an accountability partner, or some people need to be able to make decisions. I'm gonna do what I said to do. So, as I got a little bit older and a bit in the stage of my life where I was running my businesses and there were things going on and I was struggling to do them, I thought, "Oh my god, I just need motivation to work on that." And because of the ADHD brain, I was probably just seeking dopamine hits, and that's how I was getting things done. As I worked on myself and got to know myself and stopped overwhelming and overloading myself with things to do, I actually just became a person who was, I don't know, whelmed. It wasn't motivation that I needed, but systems to help me continue to do the things that I said I wanted to do, and also with systems, making sure that I wasn't saying yes to things just because they were cool. 

Lesley Logan 2:41  

So because I know me better, I have better boundaries, and because I understand how motivation works, I don't actually wait for the motivation to do the things. I understand how to set myself up so I can take one step at a time, celebrate what I did do, and then go again the next day. I'm no longer a person who's like, "I have to get my to-do list done every day," because that pressure actually slows me down, and it makes me not feel like I'm me doing the thing, right? I'm not a patient person. So, in case you're like, "Oh, I wish I was you," I'm not a patient person. So, if I can do it, if I can take action on the things that I want to do, if I can help myself move the needle one millimeter forward in a day, you can do it too, right?

Lesley Logan 3:27  

Because we don't need motivation. And if you didn't hear our episodes in December of 2025 about habits, where I talked about motivation as a very fickle girlfriend, and you can learn more about this in BJ Fogg's book, Tiny Habits, but essentially motivation is needed when something is very difficult to get started. Like when you turn on a car, you have a starter, right? I think that's what it is, and it helps get the car started. You also use more gas to get the car started, right? Planes are the same thing. And so you need motivation to get rolling, but then once you're rolling, you don't use as much gasoline, as much energy, or you don't need those things, right? So, motivation is best to be used when something is a bigger deal, or is going to require more of us than we are used to, but then once we have gotten started, ideally we're not waiting on motivation to just keep the ball rolling. That's where systems come into place, right? 

Lesley Logan 4:21  

Motivation also is not something you can just go up, tap in, hit the motivation button, "I'm ready to go." Motivation is actually a fickle friend. It's kind of like my ADHD focus mode without Adderall. Yes, sometimes it hits, and I'm like, "Oh my god, I just got so much done," but mostly it doesn't ever hit at the time that I want it to hit. It's not going to hit because something's due tomorrow; it hits because of my ADHD, but it won't hit like, "I want to do it now and not under pressure." It doesn't hit then, right? So I can't wait for it. I talked about this in our habit series, motivation, you have to think of as like a really great friend that you go to parties with, but that you don't actually rely on to pick you up at an airport to take you to an important meeting. You would never do that. 

Lesley Logan 5:03  

So, if the tasks that you are asking yourself to do don't match your energy, you are likely doing things that do not bring you joy, and if they did before, they don't now. Oftentimes we're doing things that we think we should be able to do, or we think we have to do, or we don't have the money to delegate it out, but just because you have done that before doesn't mean you have to keep doing it. What I will just say is part of getting out of a rut is looking at the responsibilities you feel you are supposed to be the person to take those on and actually ask yourself, "Is this something that I need to be doing? Does this have to be done right now? Does it have to be done today?" Because it may be time to outsource some of the things that you need to happen in your life, so that you can have the time and energy to do what you said you wanted to do. 

Lesley Logan 5:56  

If you come on my retreats, oftentimes I'm like, "Hey, we can outsource. You can have groceries delivered. You can just save all your time driving to the grocery store, going up and down the aisles. You could just have them delivered. You can have a housekeeper clean your house, right, especially for the deep cleans." But honestly, we have that every week. Why? Because one, I like a clean house, because I want to work in that environment, but I don't like to clean the house. Because I don't like to clean the house, it makes me exhausted when I do it, and then it's done, I have this clean house now. Guess what? I don't want to work in it because I'm exhausted. So the tasks that you have on your plate don't match the energy, and then they're draining you, and that makes you feel stuck. So you can come on a retreat with me in Cambodia to learn how to figure out what you should get off of your list, but if you don't want to wait till that, I just want you to take a look.

Lesley Logan 6:43  

What are all the things that you think you should be doing? Are there tools now that would make those things easier? Pick the one that you least want to do, you avoid doing, and that lives rent-free in space in your head, right? How can we get rid of it, or get someone else to support us on that? Your systems that you're relying on often aren't matching the brain that you operate with. I have ADHD, and in order to get my work done, I have support from a psychiatrist. So, I do take an Adderall, and when I take it, I actually can focus, and then I can actually use the tools that I have put in place to help me get my work done. I definitely can tell days when I have it versus when I don't. I don't take it on my days off, but I can tell that trying to do the things that I need to get done on a workday without it, I end the workday more exhausted and wondering, "Why do I do what I do? Am I doing the right thing? Am I aligned? Do I even love this job anymore?" because it took so much out of me to get it done than when I have the support that my brain requires, right?

Lesley Logan 7:46  

But whether or not you have ADHD, the more you can understand how you think, how you operate, and have systems that match that, you know? If you are making to-do lists and never using them, then that's not helping you. You need to figure out a different tool. If you are making the projects that you have to do on your to-do list so big "build a website" of course, you're gonna feel stuck. That's a humongous task that will not get crossed off for four to six weeks at least. So we have to figure out, what are the ways that you operate? How do you meet expectations? I mentioned it before, but Gretchen Rubin's book, The Four Tendencies, is an excellent read. It helps you understand how do you meet the expectations you have, or that others have, and then when you know that, you can put systems in place. 

Lesley Logan 8:24  

For example, Brad is a rebel, and Brad will say, "Oh, I'm going to get up early tomorrow and do yoga." Okay, but if I wake him up and go, "Hey, you wanted to get up early this morning and do yoga," he will say, "No, I don't want to do it," because he wants to have choice. He must have choice, right? Because he's a rebel, that's how you meet the expectations. So, if I say, "Hey, babe, yesterday you had mentioned that you wanted to get up and do some yoga, so did you still want to do that, or did you want to sleep for a little longer?" When I present it to him like that, he always is like, "Oh, no, I'm going to do the yoga," because he does want to do it, but he wants to have choice, right? If you're an obliger, you are someone who needs accountability to get things done, so you need to find ways in your systems to have accountability to get things done, so you get them done. I'm an upholder, so if I said it I'm going to do it, which is also why if I say no to you, it's not because I don't love you, it's because I know I won't be able to get it done. I will never backtrack on an agreement, right? So if your systems don't match how you operate, then you are going to get stuck and overwhelmed. 

Lesley Logan 8:25  

Okay, another way to get out of the rut is matching your expectations with reality, so you're not unmotivated, you're mismatched. Like if you have an expectation like, "Okay, tomorrow I'm gonna get up early. I know I'm not a morning person, but I'm gonna get up early, and I'm gonna go run two miles." But one, you're not a morning person, and you haven't run in a year. You're not doing those things, and that's going to feel like, "Oh my god, I just wasn't motivated." No, you are not that person. You are not someone who wakes up early. You are not someone who runs.

Lesley Logan 9:57  

So we actually have to make sure that the expectations that we have placed on ourselves actually match the reality of what systems we have in place today, right? So, if you're like, "I want to make 10,000 a month with my business," but you're not even making 1,000 a month, those expectations don't match reality. You actually have to first make 1,100, and 1,200, 2,000, and then 5,000. You can have the goal that "I want to make 10,000 a month," but you can't do it next month if you have never done it before, right? They don't match reality, so you basically have put pressure on yourself and overwhelmed yourself, and put yourself in a stuck position. Versus if you took time to go, "Okay, what are some realistic expectations that I can place on myself that I can do this week, and then I could do tomorrow and I can do today?" working backwards, then you actually don't need motivation; you'll have broken things down in a way that allows you to get them done. 

Lesley Logan 10:51  

So, I will say, like the ADHD, we talked about this a moment ago, but yes, it has that super focus mode, but like the motivation, we can't wait for it. So what I highly recommend to my ADHD people is you really can't lean on motivation. You can't wait for those focus modes. You have to learn your brain, and you have to learn the systems that help you. And there are some great experts out there. You know, Brad piles the mail all in this one place, so every day we pick up the mail, that's a win for an ADHD couple, and we put it in a pile. We don't put it anywhere, we put it in a pile, and then on Mondays he actually goes through it, right? That's the system that works. I mean, you'd be surprised, I know you think you don't operate well with systems, but when you get the systems that work for you, they work for you, and so it really helps you remain unstuck and not leaning on motivation or focus mode to help you like clean everything. Because what we know you're gonna do is organize a cupboard and then not have cleaned anything, and now we have a messier kitchen. I know. Hello, I know me. 

Lesley Logan 11:49  

Fear is another real reason to feel stuck. So, if you're listening to this because the outgoing episode really got your attention, you've outgrown an old version of yourself, but you're feeling stuck right now because of fear, fear of loss, fear of responsibility, fear of failure. Right, that's real. It's real, and it's important that we don't diminish the fear that we have. If that is what the problem is, because anyone telling you there's nothing to be afraid of, it's not helpful, right? It's like someone telling me like, "Calm down." You're like, "Do you want to see me calm down?" So, what I know about fear in the studies that I've done on it, the really important things that you can do is, one, call it out. What are you afraid of? What are you afraid is going to happen? If you don't want to say it out loud, write it down. If you don't know what it is, but you know there's a fear there, then just keep writing until it comes out, right? What is this thing that I'm afraid is going to happen? "I'm afraid no one's, everyone's gonna... no one's gonna like me." No one is gonna like you. And then you're like, "Why am I afraid about that? Why do I think that's gonna happen?" right? Like, take some time to really understand why you have this fear, because if you can actually identify it, then we can create an exit strategy, right? A backup plan. Because the truth is that nothing ever is as bad as or as good as we want or fear. "Oh my god, if I do this thing, I'm gonna die." Well, that's not happening, because you just listened to this. "Oh my god, if this goes so well, I'm gonna have a million dollars." Well, maybe you do, but most of the time we land somewhere on a spectrum, and so take some time to like really truly go, "What am I actually afraid of?" 

Lesley Logan 13:22  

So you can have a backup plan, so then you can move forward, right? Because these practical shifts, they actually help, because an all-or-nothing mindset is what's keeping you stuck, right? Like, this practical... like, "Okay, I'm afraid that if I do this thing, I'm gonna lose everything." You're gonna lose everything, okay? All of it. Like, if this thing goes wrong, you're not gonna have any of this to back up on? Then you start to realize, "Well, no, actually, I'll just lose $1,000. I'll lose $3,000." Okay, that's a legit fear. I don't want to lose $3,000 ever. I don't want to lose $3. So, what things can help me realize if I'm on the wrong path? What are some signs or KPIs that could help me before it goes the wrong way, so I could stop it and turn the ship around? Or if that does happen, then what will I do? Because when you have that, all of a sudden you have clarity. Because get this: action is the antidote to fear. Taking the action, taking an action that helps get you unstuck is the antidote to fear, and it brings clarity. Action brings clarity. That's the hardest thing about all of this: we're all waiting for motivation, or for us to just wake up one day unstuck, but truthfully, we have to take a step, take some messy action to actually get unstuck. 

Lesley Logan 14:35  

So, I did want to give you guys a couple of tactile things, like some "be it" things. So, one is like a two-minute rule. Sometimes a two-minute rule can be, "I can feel this way for two minutes and I'm gonna get started," or "I can do this thing over here in two minutes at a time, or I'll get started." That's helpful. Also, you can break down all the tasks you want to do into two minutes. We had Jillian Flodstrom on as a guest, and I think she said it in the podcast, but she might have done it in a webinar for us. Anyway, you should listen to her episode. She said like, "I break all tasks into something I can do in two minutes, because that makes it really easy. I'm waiting two minutes, I can do one thing. Okay, I can do this next thing," right? 

Lesley Logan 15:08  

Reducing friction, so this is going to be just like taking a moment to see how many things that you have going on that are actually causing friction in your life. Are you trying to get too much stuff done in a day, or in a morning? Are you trying to be a morning person? How can we reduce that friction, so that it's just a little easier to get things done, right? Maybe it's the deadlines that you placed on yourself. How can you do that? Or perhaps it's like, "Okay, I cook for everybody all week long, but I just can't." Okay, how do we ask for help? So, just reduce the friction. And this is crazy, I know some people at the Be It Till You See It podcast are gonna say this, yeah, lower your expectations. Lower expectations of yourself, especially because sometimes we set the bar at 150%. Honey, you can be at 100% and you're still gonna slay more than most people. Most people don't take action. Most people have the same thoughts every single day. So, if you could just actually operate on an actual scale of 100%, not 150%, you would be unstuck tomorrow, yesterday, right? Because you don't need to do the whole thing, you don't need to be able to do all the things that will help get you unstuck.

Lesley Logan 16:19  

You just need to begin to do one thing, take one step. And I said this already a couple of times, take this messy action, because if motivation isn't the thing that's going to get us moving, because it's not, I mean, it might get us started on something really difficult, but it's not going to be the day-to-day, then what we actually need is messy action. And you hear that in every intro of all of our podcasts: "take messy action." And the reason is because you get some good feedback. So we will have some messy action episodes coming up for you soon in a future series, but until then, I'd love for you to take a moment, maybe revisit the first episode, and really identify like, "Am I actually stuck or am I in overwhelm, or do I have outdated systems, or do I just need a little bit of clarity to get started on this next thing? Or am I afraid?" Once you have identified how you're stuck and what's going on, you can take the first next steps to anything, and that means being it until you see it. 

Lesley Logan 17:17  

All right, my loves, send this to a friend who needs to hear it. Thank you so much for being you. Send in any questions or aha moments at beitpod.com/questions, and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 17:27  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 18:10  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 18:14  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 18:19  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 18:26  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 18:29  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this first installment of the Stuck Series, Lesley Logan, Pilates coach and host of Be It Till You See It, breaks down what feeling stuck actually means and why so many of us misdiagnose it. She offers a clearer way to read those frustrating in-between moments, when the old isn't working, and the new hasn't fully clicked yet. Tune in to find out why motivation isn't what will get you unstuck.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The difference between being stuck, overwhelmed, or just outgrowing yourself.
• How identity lag traps you between your old and new self.
• Why the habits that kept you safe as a kid now keep you stuck.
• Why your brain isn't broken when ADHD makes you feel stuck.
• How to reframe stuck as recalibration so you keep moving forward.

Episode References/Links:

• GA Practical Wedding by Meg Keene - https://a.co/d/00zpWr2n
• Ep. 688 Outgrowing Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep688
• Ep. 689 Outgrowing Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep689
• Ep. 613 Habit Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep613
• Ep. 614 Habit Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep614
• Ep. 616 Habit Series 3 - https://beitpod.com/ep616
• Ep. 617 Habit Series 4 - https://beitpod.com/ep617
• Ep. 619 Habit Series 5 - https://beitpod.com/ep619
• Ep. 620 Habit Series 6 - https://beitpod.com/620
• Ep. 622 Habit Series 7 - https://beitpod.com/ep622
• Ep. 623 Habit Series 8 - https://beitpod.com/623
• Ep. 256 with Rory Vaden - https://beitpod.com/ep256
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

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Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
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• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Stuck is not a personality trait. It is not something that represents who you are. You're not a stuck person, but it is a moment of misalignment, and it does mean that we have to get in there like a mechanic would to see what is the actual problem.

Lesley Logan 0:14  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:57  

All right, Be It babe. As promised, we have a series on what to do when we're stuck. How do we be it till we see it when we are feeling stuck? And I guess the question is to be like, are we saying this like, "I feel stuck right now," or do you have ideas and you have goals, but you're just not taking action steps? 

Lesley Logan 1:13  

To get into the stuckness, we have to kind of just talk about what is being stuck, right? And how often are we calling this out on ourselves? Because if it's just been a few unproductive days, are you actually stuck? Are you overwhelmed? Right? Did you miss a goal, and that's why you're saying you're stuck, or are you stuck because you don't know how to take the next step? And that's perfectly okay. 

Lesley Logan 1:33  

I actually think that sometimes we're stuck because we've done all that we can do on our own, and we need support, and we need help. Are you saying you're stuck because you're comparing yourself to someone else? So the important thing here is you didn't wake up stuck. You might have been labeling yourself as stuck, and I think that we have to identify what kind of stuck are we? The labeled version that we're stuck because we're comparing ourselves to others, or the reality that we've gone as far as we can and we need help, we need to ask for that. 

Lesley Logan 2:00  

So we kind of thought about this because we've had some great questions come in, and we had some great guests and some wonderful talking points, and it's like, okay, I've done all these things, but I'm kind of stuck on this next thing. And so just thought, well, it'd be fun, let's talk about the outgrowing theory. Because sometimes we are working when we have outgrown ourself, and we are taking action to be the next version of ourselves, and we're working on being it until we see it, we can get stuck. I mean, you've evolved, right? You have new awareness, new understandings, new dreams, new ways of how you want to operate the system that is who you are, right? And you are letting go, or trying to, of the person that you once were, and sometimes when we're in that in-between, we get stuck, right? 

Lesley Logan 2:40  

You ever done the update on your phone, and then things don't work the way they were supposed to, and the old way is not really functional either, but the new way you're going like, "Were the buttons moved over here? Hold on, why are the buttons over here now?" Some of them get stuck because we went looking for where the old buttons were, but they're in the new button setting, and so when you're in that stuck place, it can be full frustrating, and I just want you to know you're not alone. I often get stuck in some things. I will just say, "I feel really stuck right now." All of a sudden, my brain goes, "Hold on, are we stuck? We got this." 

Lesley Logan 3:15  

So, what stuck actually is, I think it's important that we talk about what is it. Like an identity lag? Maybe we know where we want to grow and do and be, but we aren't feeling like we're there yet. By the way, I just want you to know, as a habits coach, one of the hardest things you can do is change habits that are psychological. Like if you have a habit of talking negatively about yourself, you don't want to do that anymore. It's really one of the hardest habits to unravel, and so it's not surprising to me that when we are wanting to be a more positive person, or a more joyful person about the things we do, and see more possibility, and ask for more help, because of the things we have to do in our brain to become the new person, it's easy for us to hang back in the old system, in the old ways, and have this identity lag, like, I want to be here, but I'm still feeling I'm over here. 

Lesley Logan 4:06  

We can be stuck because our nervous system is just overwhelmed, right? I think a lot of us take on a lot of things, too much at one time. We have this all-or-nothing mentality in this world that we live in, and so we can actually get stuck because we're overwhelmed. I see this in some of the teachers in my eLevate program. They get stuck on what to do or what to study next, because they're trying to be perfect at all of the things, rather than just being in their body and acknowledging where they're at.

Lesley Logan 4:37  

We also get stuck when there's just too many options, and we don't have a clarity on what to do. Like, oh my gosh, you could do this, you could do that, you could do that. It's like, "I'm overwhelmed," and so then we feel stuck. Right? I remember we were planning our trip to Europe, we were like, "What do we want to do?" and it's like we have nine days, we could do anything. Europe is big, and I haven't been to so many places, and I could go to this place, or I go to that place. And I was just so overwhelmed that I felt stuck, and we didn't even plan the whole vacation until kind of right before, because we had to just get clear on, okay, hold on, what is it that we want to do? 

Lesley Logan 5:12  

You know, when we were planning our wedding, we got recommended a great book called A Practical Wedding, and she was talking about all these different questions you can ask yourself, so you can really take the overwhelm out of the wedding planning and actually take action on what you're going to do. But a lot of people get stuck in that because there's just too many options. And we can get stuck when our old systems and our old habits just don't work anymore, right? My goodness, the way our bodies work in our 20s versus how in our 40s, ladies, you could be doing the things that used to make you feel good and used to make you feel energized, and now they just don't work anymore, and so you could just feel like you're in a rut. So it's important to take note that stuck is not a personality trait, it is not something that represents who you are, you're not a stuck person, but it is a moment of misalignment, and it does mean that we have to get in there like a mechanic would to see what is the actual problem. And sometimes that means troubleshooting.  

Lesley Logan 6:10  

In your stuckness, when you are stuck, it's important that we also take a moment to see how did we get here. Like a gentle, hold on, how do we get here? Right? Sometimes if you're road tripping and you get a little lost, you think, "Hold on. How did I make a wrong turn?" and backtrack a little bit, right? So, when you are trying to see how did I get here, one thing you cannot do is blame. That is not going to work, I promise you. We talked about that in the outgrowing series. You cannot shame and blame yourself into being unstuck, or it will actually just put you further in stuck rut mode, and you'll actually just feel bad about yourself at the same time. No one wants to do that. 

Lesley Logan 6:43  

So we got to wherever we were because of so many things. One, how you are raised, what you're taught to focus on, what you caught that you should focus on, what you caught that you should behave like. For example, I definitely was rewarded as a child when I would do things that were like above and beyond to support people. So I just would go above and beyond all the time, and I would say yes to things without even asking myself if I want to be doing this, and I would just put myself out there to help people all the time. Because I would help my mom, I would help other people, I would get all these affirmations, words of affirmation, my love language, and I would then get to feel seen. "Oh my gosh, this is Lesley. She does all these amazing things for us," and so then, as an adult, without thinking about how these yeses would make me feel, I would just say yes all the time, right? So I got myself to overwhelm and stuck several times in my adult life because I was doing the things that helped me feel safe and seen as a child. These are things that you don't even realize you're doing. It takes therapy to look back and see, how did I get here? How do I keep working for the same type of person? How do I keep dating the same type of person? How do I keep ending up with friends who are all the same? Right? It's because of how we are making decisions and taking actions, and it's all based on things that were put into our systems, our system updates, when we were growing up. And so really, when you can figure that out, it's really empowering, right? 

Lesley Logan 8:09  

Because of that, when we were children, we optimize for safety, not alignment. As a kid, we don't know what our goals are, right? So we do things that make us feel safe in the environment. So if you grew up in a place where when you were perfect, it felt like you could control the environment, then you would just be perfect all the time. "If I could just be perfect all the time, then no one's gonna yell and nothing's gonna get bad." But then what happens is, you just try to be perfect all the time, and that's exhausting, by the way. It's not in alignment with what you're wanting to do in your life. People are supposed to make mistakes, you're not gonna learn things that way, and of course, you're gonna feel stuck because you're like, "I should be able to do this," but you didn't get to make the mistakes along the way to help you learn how to do it. 

Lesley Logan 8:46  

We also stay in things that work; we stay past expiration dates, right? We stay in them because there's certainty. So we get stuck often because it worked back then, so it's gonna work now, or, "I should be so grateful that I'm in this situation that I'm in. Other people have it worse." So sometimes we just stay because things work. So, if one of those things really goes, "Oh, that's kind of me, that's kind of why I get stuck," it's important that we don't say, "Oh, I've messed up, I messed up my whole life." No, I mean, that is like a thing. My gosh, my brain will catastrophize. Like when I became a Pilates instructor, and I met people who had been teaching Pilates longer because they're the same age as me-ish, but they learned about Pilates before, I remember going, "Oh my god, I've missed out on so many years that I could have been doing Pilates." Because the fact that I discovered Pilates at the age of 22, at the time when it was only four years legal to say the word Pilates, is amazing, and I'm over here going, "I messed up, I should have known about this sooner," right? But we didn't mess up. We built our lives around what worked until they don't work anymore, and now the stuck feeling is just because things in your life don't work anymore. You've outgrown, and you're in the stuck mode because you're in this between, and we have to figure out what's going to work. 

Lesley Logan 10:11  

And I'll never forget, in 2013 I was single, I wasn't couch-surfing anymore. At this point, I'd found the place I wanted to live, I was transferred, given more responsibility, blah blah blah, and somebody suggested that I do this birth chart, I don't know, futuristic, not psychic thing, because it's based on birth charts, but just get some astrological help. So I did this, and the person was like, "You have gone as far as you can on your own." And I was like, "What?" He's like, "Yep, you've actually done a great job, you've gone as far as you can on your own, and all the things that you are wanting to do in this life, you must do with other people." And that is something, by the way, I am not a person who asks for help. I just can do it all on my own, I've done it all on my own, I've moved myself multiple times in my life by myself. I can do it, right? But hearing that, I was like, "Oh, okay. So I built this life that has worked for me, and if I want to continue on, I'm going to need to get some help." And you know what? He wasn't wrong. Because here I had got a new place, decorated really beautifully, got promoted at my job and all this stuff, and I still felt like something is missing. It's missing, and so I started seeking out and looking for opportunities to partner up with different people, not necessarily in business, but just on projects and, oh, maybe I could hire that person to help me, right? 

Lesley Logan 10:12  

Okay, so I do think before we continue on the stuck thing, we do have to chat a little bit about ADHD, right? We do need to talk a little bit about ADHD, and the reason is, my ADHD loves, we sometimes equate being stuck with just not having the dopamine high that we're constantly seeking. Okay, so as ADHD people, we often say yes to 17 things, because our brains think a mile a minute. We're three steps ahead of everybody, and we can take it all on, and also we like the dopamine highs. And what happens is, especially if you're in your 40s and you didn't know you had ADHD, at some point your systems no longer work. And not only as you go through perimenopause do you lose your hormone help there, but you already were lacking that in your ADHD brain, and so now you feel a little bit stuck and overwhelmed because your systems aren't working, and you said yes to a lot, and the systems that used to help you don't work. So we have to be thoughtful and kind to ourselves.

Lesley Logan 10:12  

If you are someone who's listening with ADHD, I highly recommend getting some help to understand how your brain works so that you can not only get unstuck and ditch the overwhelm, but truly learn how to work with it. It's not like me versus my ADHD brain at all, but it's like, okay, hold on, I know in order for me to do these things, I need these tools, so I need to set myself up for success. And I'll never forget, my psychiatrist said, "I can give you the drugs to help you focus, but if you keep saying yes to too many things, the drugs won't help. It's a you problem." And I really think that if you are feeling stuck right now because you're doing too many things, because your ADHD brain is like, "Yeah, I want that, and I want that, I want that dopamine hit, that dopamine hit," we need to find ways to pause or delete or delegate or delay some of the things that we're working on, and just be honest about that. Because your brain isn't broken; it's just overstimulated and undersupported, right? So we need tools. So if you're stuck because of ADHD, I see you. We'll get some experts on here, but also do take a moment to recognize what is the ADHD versus what is stuckness versus what is overwhelm, so that you're not labeling things that are inaccurate and then feeling more stuck because you don't have the tools to work because we got mislabeled, right?

Lesley Logan 11:21  

Okay, last thing I just want to say is I think if you are an oldest daughter who is listening to this, right, firstborn of anything, there is a tendency to do a lot and should on ourselves, like, "I should be doing more of this," or, "I used to be more productive, what is wrong with me that I can't do this anymore?" And I will just say that, one, we're not the person that we were 20 years ago, so yeah, I cannot take on the things that I did 20 years ago. Also, because I know better, I know what I am capable of, I know what I'm good at, I know more of what I want, I know more of what I don't want, and so please don't should on yourself—because we had Rory on our podcast and he said it makes you a should-head, right? So, you want to make sure that you are not stuck because of the extra pressure that you're putting on yourself. Life is hard enough, there's enough pressures. And while you used to be more productive, that doesn't mean you have to stay at that production level. We don't expect people who are older than us to produce at the same level that they did when they were 20. We're like, "Oh my god, you're retired, go be retired." That's the same for you. So, double-checking, are you stuck or overwhelmed because you're putting too much pressure on yourself about what you actually can handle at this moment? 

Lesley Logan 15:31  

You know, do you have a schedule or tools? I mean, we live in a tech age, there's a lot of ways that we can get reminders and prompts, or get help. I mean, my goodness, if you're like, "I just wish I was a better cook," ChatGPT is actually fucking great for recipes. I'm not gonna lie, I don't cook, but Brad gets some good ones on there. So, if you're thinking that pressure creates movement, it doesn't. My ADHD people, I know that pressure—last-minute pressure, that procrastination—gets you feeling like, "I finally have the pressure I need to get going," but for a lot of us it actually just creates paralysis. That pressure just causes us to just, there's too much, I don't know what to do right now, and so you know, yeah, if you know how to use your pressure to get your work done, great, but if it's actually making you feel stuck, well, then it's no longer a good tool for us. 

Lesley Logan 16:25  

So we're going to talk about stuck in our next episode, which is like, okay, how do we realign? Do we need motivation? Like, how do we actually get unstuck? We're going to do that, but before we do that, I just want to say, what if you're not stuck? What if you're just recalibrating? What if you are in process, and because you're in process, it requires unraveling of things that no longer work and testing things that will? You're not going to always get it right, so you might be like, "I no longer want to use this tool, do this thing, it's going to be this tool," and that tool doesn't work. You're like, "Well, now I'm stuck." No, you actually have information: this tool doesn't work. Why doesn't it work? That's information. And then you can find a new tool. "Oh, this tool, I like this, but not that." It's just information, so you're not stuck, you're recalibrating. You're not behind, you are in an update, right? You're not actually going backwards. When we're stuck, we think, "Oh my god, now I'm going backward." No, you're not. You're actually trying to figure out how do I take the next step forward, right? You ever been on a mountain on a hike, and you get to a place and you're like, "Wait a minute, do I go left or right? Do I go right?" Do you say, "I'm stuck?" No, you're like, "Hold on, let me check the map. Oh, I go this way. Okay, that's the right way." So, you're not stuck, you're not behind, you're in an update. And because you're not stuck, because this is a moment of misalignment or transition, then the real question does become like, how do we get unstuck? How do we move forward? 

Lesley Logan 17:58  

And that's what we're talking about in the next episode, because a lot of people mistake that they're waiting for the motivation to get unstuck to help them, and as we talked about in our habit series, motivation, can't be motivation, cannot be, doesn't work that way. So, my loves, I'm super excited for this series. I hope it was really helpful. I'd love to hear what you're currently stuck on, because I can get a guest to help with that. Maybe you're stuck on tools and systems that could help you. Maybe you're stuck on a thought or an emotion or an experience, right? We'd love to hear from you. So, definitely send it into the beitpod.com/questions and your wins as well. Send this episode to a friend who might be saying that they are stuck, and hopefully the next episode supports them. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 18:43  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 19:25  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 19:30  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 19:35  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 19:42  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 19:45  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this Fuck Yeah Friday, Lesley Logan opens up about the unexpected magic of hitting restart on a stubborn laptop, on one-sided friendships, and on the way we show up for ourselves. She shares a recent vulnerability hangover from her appearance on Beyond the Reformer, and celebrates listener wins that prove small, brave moves create real momentum. This episode is a reminder that you are valuable, irreplaceable, and that's worth celebrating.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why celebrating wins matters even when the world feels heavy.
• The unexpected wisdom of hitting restart when nothing else works.
• How being yourself creates a ripple effect that lasts for years.
• Why morning routines fuel presence in your biggest moments.
• Setting boundaries with people who take but never reciprocate.

Episode References/Links:

• Beyond the Reformer – https://beitpod.com/beyondthereformer
• @jennvfitness - https://www.instagram.com/jennvfitness
• @inhalepilates252 - https://www.instagram.com/inhalepilates252
• @ploplates - https://www.instagram.com/ploplates
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

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Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
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• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:48  

Hello, welcome to Fuck Yeah Friday. Oh yeah, we're here, and we are having some fun. We are making some changes to the podcast, and I love it. And this one is that we get to have a moment, because the world's on fucking fire, but then we have to celebrate a win, just like our members have to do in Agency and eLevate. Agency is our Pilates business coaching for Pilates instructors and studio owners, and eLevate is my mentorship program and in both of those communities people can have a moment, but they have to immediately go to the Wins Channel and celebrate a win, because you don't get to vomit and then come back the next day and have a win. No, it isn't about toxic positivity, like someone died, but at least you got to work on time. It's not bad, but it's also just acknowledging that there's also something good happening. 

Lesley Logan 1:28  

Sometimes the moment you want to need is like, "Uh, today I was fighting with my laptop and I did everything right. I'm like, let me check the Wi-Fi. Okay, that's on. Let me quit Dropbox. Okay, that's fine. Let me do this. Okay." And then it's like, "Okay, I'm just going to restart the computer." And then it worked. It's just like remember when you're a kid and the VCR wouldn't work, and you'd hit it three times, and it would? I just hate that the turning on and off is probably going to fix most things, because don't you think it should be more complicated than that? Don't we think? Anyways. All right. This is the world we're in. This is what we deal with, and sometimes the answer is just to hit restart. 

Lesley Logan 2:09  

Now that we've hit restart, my win for the day is a couple months ago I did a recording for a podcast, and it's been out for a bit. Now that you're hearing this, it's Beyond the Reformer, and my win is I love the questions that the person asked. I know that's their work, but I really love the questions they're asking, because I did my morning routine, and because I took care of myself, I was able to be so present and answer them honestly and authentically. Those posts that she's pulled from that podcast are still going around today, over a month later, and people are loving them. They're giving people permission, and it's just so fun that I can do something like that, and then those words can live for years, so that people who need to hear them today versus a month ago versus next year can hear them, and it can hopefully change their Pilates career. So, if you want to take a listen, it's on Beyond the Reformer, and I dropped some truth bombs, just some good authentic stuff. I'm not gonna lie, I also had a vulnerability hangover afterwards, because I was like, "I fucking nailed that," and then I was like, "Did I say too much? What are people gonna think?" 

Lesley Logan 3:11  

So, anyways, it was a great time, and I love how the more you're yourself, the more you can really make an impact. Yeah, you're gonna feel like, "Oh my god, was that the right thing to do?" but then it gets out there, and you're like, "Oh, it was the right thing to do," and then everyone loves it. Then there's one person who's an idiot, and you're like, "Okay, but you're the only one. You seem a little weird." So that's my win. I was myself, and I did something that has helped a lot of people today, even though it's been months later, so there's that. 

Lesley Logan 3:36  

Okay, now I got a few wins from you guys, so remember, you can send your wins in to thebeitpod.com/questions. Okay, so here we go. Here are your wins. This is from @jennvfitness, "I printed flyers for a new class and distributed to the neighborhood all around the studio." Yeah, that can feel so scary, and it's like, "Yeah, but I have a new class I need people to hear about, and these people can walk here, so I'm gonna freaking tell them." Way to go, JV! 

Lesley Logan 3:59  

@inhalepilates252, "OPC classes in two days, and showing up for a 10:00 p.m. live class, because why not?" I love you, Liz. And also, yeah, if you're like, "I'm awake, I'm not gonna go to sleep right now," you might as well move, and that's a fun thing to be in community. You get to move your body, you get to go, "I did two classes in two days." Way to feel so good about yourself! I believe in going to bed early, and then sometimes you just freaking can't. Why fight it? So, thanks for joining us. It was so fun. 

Lesley Logan 4:26  

Okay, @ploplates, "I made the decision today to stop helping people who've never even offered to help me." Boom, mic drop. 

Lesley Logan 4:35  

Love that. Love that. Sometimes you need boundaries, right? Especially like sometimes we're helping people, and we realize that we help the same people, and then when we need help, they never respond, and it's like, "Okay, so I love you, and that's cool. I'm happy to help, and then if you don't help me in return later on, I'm happy to go." Okay, well, it's not that I'm not a helpful person, but maybe someone else.

Lesley Logan 4:59  

All right. Your mantra for the week: I am valuable and irreplaceable. I am valuable and irreplaceable. Oh my god, you're valuable and irreplaceable, love. So go on and be it till you see it. Send your wins in, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Sometimes it's nice to know you're not alone in your frustrations, but also be inspired about what could be a win. If you want longer episodes from us, make sure you check out our series every other week, and our interviews and recaps in the week between. We love supporting you on your journey to being the best version of yourself that you want to be on this planet, and help you overcome imposter syndrome and do fun things. So, thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

Lesley Logan 5:41  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. 

Brad Crowell 6:23  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 6:29  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 6:33  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 6:40  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. 

Brad Crowell 6:43  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan 6:58  

All right, and pull up, I think it's PLO Pilates, or maybe it's Pop Lot, oh, it's probably Pop Pilates. Okay, got it. Just watch my brain work. Okay, Pop Pilates.