In this powerful interview, Joy Hoover, founder of Esōes Cosmetics shares her journey into advocating for women's safety, a path deeply influenced by both her professional background and a significant personal tragedy. She recounts the harrowing experience that ignited her mission to combat drink spiking and its widespread implications. The discussion also covers the complexities of product development, the crucial role of community engagement, and the power of education in preventing gender-based violence. Listen in to hear Joy's story and learn how to identify red flags.
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In this episode you will learn about:
- The importance of proactively using prevention tools like Esōes Cosmetics.
- Why community support and collective action are essential for creating safer environments.
- How to trust your gut feelings and actively identify "red flags" without self-doubt.
- Why the solution to gender-based violence requires a multi-faceted approach.
- The importance of self-healing before helping others or pursuing significant goals.
Episode References/Links:
- Esōes Cosmetics Website - https://www.esoescosmetics.com
- Esōes Cosmetics TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@joy.e.hoover
- Esōes Cosmetics Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/esoessafety
- Esōes Cosmetics Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/esoessafety
Guest Bio:
Joy Hoover is an innovator powered by audacity, passion, and an unshakable belief that safety, dignity, and opportunity are human rights. For over 15 years, Joy has fought to make Nevada and beyond safer, more just, and more equitable. She has built three nationally recognized social impact startups, advocated for over 10,000 survivors, and worked tirelessly to protect families everywhere. Her groundbreaking work has been honored with awards like Top Tech of the Year and Entrepreneur of the Year and featured by major outlets including Vegas PBS, NYPost, InStyle, and NYLON. As the founder of Esōes Cosmetics, Joy invented the world’s first patented tech-enabled lipstick designed to fight drug-facilitated assault and violence. Her mission is clear: make safety a right, not a privilege, and create a world that truly works for everyone. This fight is deeply personal. After losing her mother-in-law to domestic violence and witnessing the broken systems that continue to fail survivors, Joy refuses to accept a world where women battle for their own safety, where families are shattered by preventable violence, and where survivors are abandoned by the very institutions meant to protect them. Today, alongside her husband Phil, their fierce daughters Vivian and Ruby, and their emotional support pup Charlie, Joy stands ten toes down—proving that when we dream big, innovate with purpose, and move with courage and compassion, change is inevitable. (Bio adapted to third
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Episode Transcript:
Joy Hoover 0:00
Women's safety needs every component, and we can't just have a product, and we can't just have education, and we can't just have politics, and we can't just, right? We need a an overarching solution to truly see this epidemic change.
Lesley Logan 0:15
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.
Lesley Logan 0:57
All right, Be It babe. So today's guest is someone who's really cool. She's been on my radar for quite some time, and I've been watching what she's doing, and then I've got to see what she was doing. I was like, this is really freaking cool. And then Brad went to this thing, and he met her, and I was like, yeah, that's the one I showed you on my Instagram, and it's because I'm obsessed with lipstick. And then someone made some lipstick that can actually help save your life. So today's episode is going to talk about, not in detail, I'm not, we don't, there's not anything that's like full details of things. But if you have experienced gender-based violence and that is a touchy subject for you, please guard your heart for this episode. But I really do hope as many of you can listen to it, because we're going to talk about ways to prevent it, and we're going to talk with a woman who has founded the Esōes cosmetics company, which is a product based company with tech that can help save your life. And so I'm really, really excited. Joy Hoover is our guest. And so here is a great interview with some really, really amazing, thoughtful full of love, full of joy, full of excitement, full of how community can come together and how you can be integral in preventing gender-based violence. So here we go with Joy Hoover.
Lesley Logan 2:01
All right, Be It babe, this is a first. We have a neighbor on the podcast, and no, she's not in my (inaudible) which would have been, would have been something had I planned ahead. But you know what? We are both entrepreneurs, we're flying by the seat of our pants. So Joy Hoover is our guest today. I'm super excited. I'm so excited to get to know you as a neighbor, but also in like all that you're doing, you're quite a badass. So can you tell everyone who you are and what you're rocking at?
Joy Hoover 2:25
Yeah, absolutely. I'm happy to be here, and I love that I met your husband randomly, like, at a conference, and then we're like, oh, we're moving in for a year. And you're like, okay, we're down the street.
Lesley Logan 2:37
It's really funny how the world works.
Joy Hoover 2:39
Right? The universe loves to combine, you know, unite the right people. So yeah, I'm Joy Hoover. I've been in Vegas for over 15 years working in women's safety and anti-trafficking and anti-gender-based violence. And really, my passion just comes from, like, I want women to be safe, and so I, you know, built a non-profit cupcake girls for 12 years, and then kind of pivoted into this consumer products goods. Like, people are like, why did you create a product? I'm like, I don't quite know. But no, I know. And so, yes, I'm so happy to be able to bring a product to market that is a lipstick that could save your life with tech and test strips. And you know, there's probably not one woman that's listening to this podcast that hasn't at one point or not feared for their safety, worried about their safety, or actually experienced something traumatic. And so my goal is to shift that with drunk girl bathroom energy and help us work together to be the really we're the ones we've been waiting for. So protect ourselves.
Lesley Logan 3:39
Yeah, I mean, like, first of all, it's really cool. So I had you, I have the product here, because I was like, this is the coolest thing. I mean, I knew what you were talking about, I've been watching you, like, before we met, I showed Brad some sort of TV show you were on. I was like, babe, look at this. Because, like, I so I'm just, like, really into it. But also, like, I just have to, I want to, like, go back to, like, you've been in Vegas 15 years. What you've been working in is an industry that is not, you know, bright, shiny roses and flowers and lots of misinformation, lots of misleading information, that kind of stuff doesn't actually mean the right people get helped. And so, I guess, like, and then you wanted to start a product, and as someone who else has a product, it is like the hardest fucking thing you'll ever do. Anytime someone's like, oh, I was thinking of doing flashcards. I'm like, okay, you can have the printer's number. Like, I don't care. Good luck when you find out how many hours behind the scenes, how much it costs to hit print, how, like, all that stuff you like, good luck to you, my dear. So how did you go from, like, something that was so hard, probably daily, to then another hard?
Joy Hoover 4:46
I know. I was talking to an entrepreneur yesterday. I was like, I think we're just, like a glutton for punishment of actual, like, just like organized chaos, which hopefully it's somewhat organized. But yeah, I think, you know, in, let's see. We're coming up on April 10th 2025 so 12 years ago, on April 10th 2013 we had a newborn baby. Our daughter was eight days old, and we got a phone call. And that call really changed the trajectory of our life, because on the end of that call was someone who said, hey, someone, two people were shot at your parents' property. This is my husband. Both my husband and I on the call, and they don't know where your dad is, and we're literally at Town Square with our eight-day-old newborn baby picking out clothing for her newborn session. And I feel like, like our life flashed before our eyes, from like, what happened before that to what happened after that. And here we are. We're in the middle of this, you know, very, very intense work. We're the 911 phone call for so many of our clients, and we can't help. And what ended up happening is that his mom, my mother in law's final words were in a 911, phone call. And that phone call was literally help, my husband just shot my son, and he's coming after me. And on the end of that call was a gunshot. And so, you know, overnight, within, you know, seconds, we lose his brother, his mom and then his dad, he took his own life. And so here we are. You know, we fly across the country with our baby, and it's just like, what do we do now? And so what we did was a lot of healing, a lot of therapy. We've had an amazing therapist for the last 13 years, and as we started healing our own stories and continuing to show up for thousands, in fact, over 10,000 survivors that we were able to help with resources from, you know, medical and dental to new housing to, you know, moving them across country, away from, you know, abusers and pimps. And what we started realizing is, this is a systemic problem. We know that, you know, we know it's from systemic issues and from, you know, you can talk about all the things. At the end of the day, one of the biggest issues was there was nothing preventing this. Yeah, nothing. That was an easy product. I mean, we have, you know, there's pepper spray, there's, you know, but what I started learning from so many of our clients was we don't carry that because we're afraid we're gonna, like, spray our own eyes with pepper spray, or, you know, like, whatever, like all different things. And like, there has to be something easy, like, easy to use, that could actually help you in a tough situation. And really, that's when I came up with Esōes.
Lesley Logan 7:37
Yeah, I, yeah. It's really, I, I lived in Los Angeles for a long time. And so when people, like, when we moved to Vegas, I said, I want to live where there's, like, not an HOA, and they're like, oh, not very safe over there. And I was like, right, what's not safe to you? I live across from the federal building in Los Angeles. Like, there's a protest every Saturday. I got, I got my same homeless people for the same five years that I, you know, we do Thanksgiving together. So what we'll be talking about safety wise, because it's very different, depending on, like, what you've experienced and so, but one thing that, like, I remember when I was single in L.A. was just the amount of steps you go through. You're like, I'll meet you there. No, don't pick me up. Like, and then my girlfriend had pepper spray. She got scared because someone she thought was following her. She sprayed it, the wind blew it back into her eyes, and the guy just walked right by her. So, like, we can laugh because she wasn't in danger. But like, Thank God she wasn't in danger. But like, it's true. Like, you know, like, that kind of stuff. So, so, but I always am, like, we tell women they can be empowered. We tell them to, like, do all these different things. And then, at the end of the day, they're still putting their keys to their fingers when they're walking to their car. And so, like, so, you know, beauty product lines have been around, so thankfully, there's that. But then you're trying to create a product that is helping women on the date make sure that they're not being drugged. Is that correct?
Joy Hoover 9:05
Yeah. I mean, the goal is anywhere. But like, you know, the original component was the test strip, was this idea of, how can we test drinks? We know one in two women have experienced drink spiking. We know this happens from, you know, sexual violence, domestic violence, into trafficking, and I'm like, that seems like a semi-easy solution of like, we got to come up with this test strip and we can, like, put it, hide it in this lipstick. Like, that seems semi-easy. And that part actually was fairly easier. The funny part was, again, I'm not like, I'm not a scientist and I'm not an engineer, and so I had to look for, right, hire a scientist and engineer to join my team. And so what I did was I looked at there was one product that had tried to go to market six years ago. Was supposed to be like a nail polish that you like, dip your finger and it changes color.
Lesley Logan 9:52
Cool.
Joy Hoover 9:53
And so, well, yeah, interestingly enough, that product never did go to market. But what happened was I, we found their patent when my attorney at first applied for ours. And so I found that guy, that scientist in LinkedIn, pursued him for eight months until he would take a call with me. And he finally took a call in May of 2022, and I was like, hey, I want to know how you did this. And I want to know if you want to work with me to make my lipstick. And he's like, he just, basically was just like, do you want to do like, the lipstick changing color, if you like, put it on and it's drugged. And I'm like, no. And he's like, okay, then I'll take a meeting with you. I was like, okay, sounds good. So anyways, that guy is the one who ended up bringing the head engineer from that company to the meeting, and I hired them to develop my product, and we did from everything. And they it was funny because I, they were over, they were in North Carolina, and so I hadn't met them, but when we launched the actual product, they flew in, and they were, when they talked about, they're like, you know, usually we're like, testing things that are more like, you know, your everyday type things. It's not that often we have a whole bunch of roofies in the, you know, and all this alcohol that we're like, testing all these things, and I'm like, yeah I know.
Lesley Logan 11:02
I know. Like, the warnings, like, please don't drink the things in the fridge today, everyone, please don't do it.
Joy Hoover 11:07
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. So.
Lesley Logan 11:11
Okay, so, so many takeaways from this, because, like, one, it's easy for us to get stuck on, like, the component we don't know, you know, like the part of the thing we don't know. Two, your perseverance attract this guy down to get him to answer, like, okay, we gotta make sure you are, like, on every project of things that will change the world. And then three, I just wanna highlight the dates of things, 2022, that is three years ago that were, you know, like, how, like, this has been in your this has been part of, like, your creation. For how many years have you been working on this product? Because I think, like, by the time I see it, I'm like, oh, this is like, you know, last year or whatever, whenever you did the show. But that's not when you started it. That's not when the idea came. That's not when you started putting time, money, investments, you know, time away from your family.
Joy Hoover 12:00
Absolutely. Yeah. So I, basically, I hired an attorney in and put on a credit card to put the first $10,000 on to apply for a patent for this idea on like October, like second and then October 27th which would have been my mother in law's 70th birthday. So we've kind of honored her by bringing 100 people into our backyard and basically showing them the world's ugliest PowerPoint to basically show that like, show the concept, the idea.
Lesley Logan 12:31
Is this a 2020?
Joy Hoover 12:32
This is 2021.
Lesley Logan 12:33
Okay, okay, okay, yeah.
Joy Hoover 12:35
Yep. And so, I mean, because we knew we would need money and we needed support to do this, like, yeah. I mean, you know, I'm person, I'm, I'm a big component of, like, of everything I do, I feel like, is hustle, yeah, but without the right resources and the, without the right community around you, hustle doesn't matter, right? And so I think that's an important thing is like, you have to know who's on your side. You have to know who's in your you know, who's in your back, you know, literal backyard? Yeah, we literally took all the furniture from our inside of our house, put it on the outside of our house, like, even our TV off the wall, and, like, did this whole thing, and basically said, we're gonna do this. Who can, who wants to support, who wants to invest? And right away, we raised, like, that night, we raised $25,000 and and all these people were like, please do this. Like, this is we need, we need this, right?
Lesley Logan 13:27
And I think what, what's really cool about it, because when, you know when, when I got to see it, and everything we're talking about, like, all the different women who, you know, today, in a world where, like, you're not going to the office all the time, you are having meetings, real estate agents are meeting people at home alone, you know, like my, when I was a Pilates instructor, I rented space, and so a lot of people have this, like this misinformation of like, oh, if it's a brick and mortar, like, nothing bad's gonna happen to me. But I was gonna teach a guy at 5:30 in the morning, it's dark outside in L.A., no one is walking by this brick and mortar, you know, like, I'm aware of how the brick and mortar set up. I'm aware that there's staircases, like I'm aware of these things. And so I had this guy who wanted a session. I said, with all due respect, I'm gonna need your full name so that I can look you up, because I am going to meet you alone at 5:30 in the morning in Los Angeles. And to his credit, he was so cool about it. He goes, of course. He's like, I have a daughter. I would expect nothing. I would want her to do the same thing. He's like, here's my LinkedIn, here's all the things. And I could see, like, okay, he legitimately is someone who lives in New York, lives, I had all the things. So while he came in the door. I wasn't opening the door for a random dude. I was like, you know, so, like, I was really grateful, but I was thinking with this, it's like, oh, how nice, like, to just have the opportunity to know that you are taking care of yourself on another level of security so you can take actions you want to take. Like, I don't want any, I'm sure you don't want this for your kids. Like, I don't want any of my girlfriends to ever live in fear. I don't want them to make oh, I'm not going to go take that meeting, because I'm going to be alone, you know, like you. So I feel like this product is also just empowering women to actually be able to do more of the things they want to do.
Joy Hoover 15:10
100% and that's really why we added the tech component. Because while testing your drink is great, what we started learning more and more, and I had my own experience with it, but I started kind of getting other women's experience who had experienced drink spiking, or, you know, felt like maybe something was off. And really, my question was, how quick could you have gotten out of there? You know that the statistics say around 13 minutes. These drugs metabolize in your system, and then you're, you're literally blacked out sometimes for 24 hours. And so what we, you know, started identifying was, how could they call for help immediately, sure they might probably have their phone on them, but could they, you know, open it up and, you know, make the call? Whereas with Esōes, we built a fully customized app that connects with the lipstick, so you can basically set it up to push it once, twice or three times, and it can do all different things, from sound a loud alarm to send a text or your location to even, you know, send an actual phone call, everything's all the messages and everything are customizable, but the final thing is to priority dispatch authorities to your location.And we know, because we know that calling 911, sometimes it's between life or death and you're put on hold. We experience it a lot with clients, right? And so we're like, we have to have something that's gonna no matter what, know their location immediately and priority dispatch, like, put their emergency at the top of the list. Which, by the way, saved our house, like, last year, which, like, is a whole other thing. But, that's right, right, literally, like my husband's on hold with 911, and I pushed the lipstick, and they have our location, and within like five minutes, two fire trucks come to the house, run in, find the find the fire, put it out and everything. And the captain comes out, and he's like, it's so good we came when we did. Had we come about 10 to 15 minutes later, we wouldn't even have been able to save the bones of your house (inaudible) so fast.
Lesley Logan 17:01
I mean, I have an experience hold. I remember back in that time in L.A., so you guys, we live literally across straight from the Federal building. There was a strip of like, land between, like, the parking lot and the sidewalk. So, like, you know how, like, when you park a car, there's like, little cement things like, don't go any further with this car. So between that and the sidewalk, which means it's Federal property, so the homeless people are very smart guys. They're like, they're not like, so they put their tents there. The Federal people are not going to come kick the tents off, you know, and then the police can't touch them. But what has happened? What happened is someone threw a cigarette, it got on the mulch, and the mulch caught on fire. So Brad and I are driving home from yoga, and there's a fire like, you know, across the street from our house. And so I call 911 the fire department, you guys, is literally a block away. It's just one block north, one block north. I call 911, I, it says, call back later. The phone line is busy. I didn't get a hold called like, so I had a cup of coffee, and I was like, Brad, do you want your coffee? He's like, yeah, I want my coffee. So I threw my coffee on the fire. He finds a metal tray and is pulling the mulch onto the sidewalk so they can't keep catching fire. The fire department drives up and they go, excuse me, what are you doing? And we're like, we're putting the fire out. And they were like, like, kind of looking at us, like, like, we started the fire. And I was like, no, no, just do it. Just here doing your job, because I live across the street, you weren't answering. So, like, I do understand, like, it can be so frustrating, and obviously they're understaffed and they're underfunded, and that's all these different things, but, also, you know, like, I listen to a lot of different things, and if we knew locations, like, I keep my locations on so my husband knows where I am all the time. But, like, I'm married, what if you are single? What if you don't have that access? Or what if it is someone in your family that it's you have to have these options? And I think this is really, really cool, and I love that there's an app for it that allows people I recently was in I was I had have had some interesting Uber experiences where I have to go, excuse me, let me just call my husband let him know I'm coming home, because I don't want them to know I'm going home to an empty house. But I heard that this girl was like, said that on her Uber ride, she her Uber driver pulled a mask up over space and pressed a button, and the gas came in the car, and she had the forethought to just open the door and get out of the car, like, lucky it wasn't locked, right? And so now there's all these things, like, ladies make sure the window is cracked, make sure this all these freaking things we have to do. So we need a tool so that we can sit in an Uber and feel like, okay, like I have something to protect myself. I don't have to rely on, you know, someone seeing me from outside.
Joy Hoover 19:47
Yep, absolutely. And interestingly enough, like, what the reason we did the location piece is because we had multiple clients who would literally call us. I still have text messages from like, one of them who was like. It showed me like, I'm tied to a bed. I don't know where I am, like, my trafficker will not let me leave. And I need help. I need someone. And I'm like, where are you? Like, I don't, I can't, like, just find you, you know? And like, there was so many situations where it was like we had the ability to go somewhere, but we didn't know where to go, yeah. And so we say, like, whether you want to just get out of a boring meeting, you can push the button and it can send, like, you know, your assistant or your staff member, like, oh, gotta go. Gotta get out of this meeting. But like, or if it's just one of those traumatic experiences, you know, like, I was talking about our product in a women's event last month, and this woman, this mother, stood up and she's crying, and she's like, your product saved my daughter's life. And I'm like, she's like, you know, she was out in Chicago, she was drinking like she felt off. She tested her drink, her dress was positive, but she was like, almost blacking out, pushed the button. Her best friend got her location and where she was, pulls up and, like, she's safe now. And I'm like, that is it, right? That's the story we want. I mean, we don't want there still to be someone to be drugged or someone to be harmed, but we want the this could have been a very different story.
Lesley Logan 21:14
Yeah, well, and I'm, like you said, like, prevention, like the back to, going back to your story of the, I mean, like, so much of your family has gone through. But like, if we can prevent things, then you know it does, not only are lives safe, but then there's the rest of the life that is still saved. Like, there's all these different things. And so there you can't all we, obviously, we'd love to figure out, like, what is going on with people that are making these decisions to harm people. But like, we can't do that. And so, like, if we can sit we can save women from going through these things, or anyone who uses this product, by the way, because, like, you know what, you've got some beautiful lipsticks. I think anyone can use it. So I wonder, you know what, obviously, you're getting this product out. Like, what are you most excited about right now, and and how, like, how are people hearing about you? Because that's the other thing, right? Like, people are listening. I wanted to have you on for a few words. I want people to hear perseverance. I also just freaking I'm obsessed with how much you get community involved. Like, before I knew you, Joy, like you don't know this, like I saw you invest a coffee shop probably in 2021 because we would have been going out, and I saw you, and because I knew you from the nonprofit that I had seen videos on all this different stuff. And like you there, you always bring people in on the thing you're doing. And recently, I got an email or a text and was like, I'm doing this, and I need like, I'm like, this woman always brings a community in. So that's one of the reasons why I have you on the show, because I need people to hear like, that part of it. But like, what are you most excited about now and what's next for the product? Like, how are people hearing about it?
Joy Hoover 22:51
Yeah, absolutely. So we, you know, we are relaunching now. Like, post fire. We kind of took all the feedback from our users and rebuilt. Now we're back in stock nine months later. And so April's a really exciting month. I know this is coming out a little bit after that, but we're, we're building this movement of like, you know, Swipe Red. The idea is, like, we see red flags, we call them out. I think one of the issues with women overall is that we don't listen to our guts. We feel like we gaslight ourselves, right? So it's like that we have this slogan. It's like, no more shame, no more doubt. We see red flags. We call them out, Right? And so it's this idea of this whole Swipe Red movement we have on our website where people can submit an experience they had to kind of say this, you know, be looking out for this. And we also have an area where, where people can submit a question, like, is this just the ick or is it a red flag that I need to watch out for in this kind of, you know, experience that I had, or this person is giving me this vibe, right? And so the whole point of Esōes is really like, we want to end the epidemic of gender-based violence. We're doing that in you know, fun ways with lipstick, you know, kind of, I mean, really, it's like a whole new way of redefining personal safety, essentially, right? But it doesn't stop there. We know that this is a community problem, so it needs community solutions. So we are training bars, nightclubs, restaurants, casinos, you know, universities educating on the nuances of violence. We teach all different components of that, and we show them, and they get our product, and we teach them how to use it. And so even if, like, you know, people that are closing a restaurant at night or a bar at night, if it's two in the morning in Vegas, like they have, you know, cash to put at the bank, or if they're just, you know, leaving by themselves, a lot of times, they then have our lipstick just to have on them, or to have, you know, emergency services on the phone just in case. So for us, it really is an overarching movement of women watching out for women. I mean, obviously men, we our test strips. We now have, you know, a key chain that can go on the on your, you know, keys, so you can have, like, test strips in there. And so we know it's not just a women problem, but we know it starts with women, because we know 93% of perpetrators are male, unfortunately. And so for us, it really is like the drunk girl bathroom energy component is if I'm in a space within, basically within 40 feet of where I am, if my lipstick goes off, essentially, if my app goes off, but I didn't push my lipstick, it could be someone else who pushed theirs. So anyone's phone can go off that has it in that space. And again, it's the idea of like, you might not need it, but someone around you might. And the whole thing is, like, it's just about prevention, right? No one wants to think, What if I get raped? What if I get drugged? What if something happens to me, right? I'm sure my mother-in-law wasn't thinking, what if my life ends today? You know, never did he go to jail, never did she say anything about domestic violence. But we know, we knew he was abusive, and so for 40 years, she lived in that and that's how she ended her life, right? And so for us, it's just, you never know. Abusers aren't like, hey, I'm an abuser, right? They are, they are slick, they are career criminals. They oftentimes look like, you know, the best person in society, and they're not. And then behind closed doors, it's hidden violence, and that is what we saw over and over and over. So it's just, what can we put in everyone's hands? And then how can we educate all of us on what to look for? Should we have to do this? Fuck no, we should not have to. Unfortunately, though, no one's coming for us, so we're coming for ourselves.
Lesley Logan 26:43
Yeah, I mean, it's so true. Like, my mom was like, there's, like, a certain hand, if you see this hand, that people are doing that, like, that's a girl saying, I'm like, okay, hold on. Now, I gotta know the hand. Okay, I got it. And I will say, like, I've been to several restaurants where, like, in the bathroom, it's like, if you order this drink, we will get you out of the situation. And I am obsessed with that. I was like, I'm gonna drink here more because, like, I'm at least tell my girlfriends to come here because, like, you're keeping people safe, like they're the community is in small pieces coming together to combat something, and I think that's the only way it gets solved. But I really, I really do love the empowerment of what your tools are doing. And I also love how much feedback you are getting, so that you guys can just continue to make it better and make it more accessible, make it a key chain, versus all these different things that are, that are you're being told. And you know, nobody wants to like, here's the reason. Like this topic, the pod is called Be It Till You See It. Nobody wants to think about these things when they're thinking about achieving their goals. And yet, there are going to be situations where you need help, or someone around you does. And so I thought like, wow, okay, so maybe all the, maybe most of the women who listen to this are not at all needing something like this, but maybe they have a daughter who's about to go to college. Maybe they have a friend's kid, they have a niece, they have a new coworker who is going to go show homes like, how can we start gifting things to people that help support them on their journey and in their dreams of all the things they want to do so they're not they don't become a victim. We prevent it before it happens.
Joy Hoover 28:17
Yeah, you know, we all carry phones, right? We carry a phone because we might need to call someone or, obviously, we, wherever most people work from it. But I think shifting the narrative, you know, the narrative from like, what if I have to call 911, to like, just to have it, just in case. It's like having a Band-Aid, having, you know, like we were literally driving down the road, like a couple weeks ago, and there was a kid walking barefoot on the side of the road. We tried calling 911, we got put on hold. We just pushed the lipstick, right, like, please, can someone come to this location? We're right here with him. Like, we're not sure if he's okay. We want to make sure. But, like, just, it's just that component of it. And I think, I think because the world we live in it, there is this kind of like, well, we shouldn't have to. And I agree with that. Like, the amount of feedback we get that anytime a post goes viral on TikTok, for us, it's two main things, thank you so much. Like, what are you like, you know, Aquafaba or something like, you know, all these, like, names of, you know, women that have done things. The second thing is, this is so sad. This is so sad that we need this. I'm like, It is so sad that we need it. And at the end of the day, I'm raising two daughters. I myself am my entire life's mission is to make sure that my daughters are not one in three. I've taken that. I don't want them to experience that, right? And so I think for all of us to realize that, like when we put tools in our hands, when we are educated, and also we say this to businesses, if you're going to serve alcohol, you need to have the responsibility to know what it looks like if someone is drugged, you're not going to know these people do it. They put it in Visine bottles for Christ's sake, like they know what they're doing. It's very easy. So we teach, you know, bars and restaurants and about, how does it look to de-escalate a situation? How does it look to believe a survivor? How does it look to actively get help? Because the second thing that happens when something happens to someone who's harmed is that you're not believed, right? That's why our color, we have a color called We Believe You. We have another color code, It's Not The Dress like we need to shift the culture. And that's part of the red flag piece is like, shift the shame from survivor to perpetrator. It is not our fault. Our test strips are called Trust Issues For a Reason, because we shouldn't, because we all have trust issues. It's not our fault for having those.
Lesley Logan 30:41
No, we're not born with them like it's created. And I, I think it I agree, like, when I hear like we shouldn't have to do that, I fucking agree like we shouldn't have to go (inaudible). There's a lot of things right now that, like having to call my congressman daily and remind them of, like, what I fucking want them to do for me. You know, that's annoying. I don't want to do that anymore. I do miss a time when we didn't even know you're you didn't know your congressman, because they just did the job that they said they were gonna do. So I missed that, but also at the same time, like, if we don't do things where we can, you know, we can't do everything like I can't solve all of the problems in the world, but if we can all go, okay, I'm gonna, but I can, I, here's what I can do for my friends in my life. Here's what I can do for the family my life. Here's what I can do for my neighborhood. I do watch my neighbor's houses. Yes, the house across the street from us was empty for months. Do you think that we made sure everyone walking that house was supposed to be was supposed to be there? Yes, we did. Excuse me. Hi. Are you here for something? Do you contract her?
Joy Hoover 31:50
Yep, I love it.
Lesley Logan 31:48
No, I'm not the owner of this house, but I'm watching you. I'm watching got my camera on, watching you. Like that was the neighbors that we were, because that's the only way you keep your community healthy and safe. You know, we all have to look out for the other people around us.
Joy Hoover 32:02
Yeah, and if we do that, we can prevent lifelong trauma, like, that's the thing that we you know, this prevention piece of it was missing from the work we were doing, because I'm like, these women will never be the same. They will never heal fully. You cannot. Like my, I don't know where my eight year old found this thing, but she did this thing. She came in my room and she's like, Mom, I want to show you something. Okay, she had a piece of paper, she crumbled it up, and then she's like, she was using it as, like, words. She's, she has this one girl at school that's not treating her well, and she's having a really hard time. She's like, I told this is what I told her. I was like, I scrunched this paper up and said, you know, you can say the mean words, and then I can open it up and try to, like, you know, smooth it out. But is it smooth? And I'm like, you said that to her, and she's like, I did. I did say that to her. I was like, oh, my God I love you so much. But that's the truth. It will never be smooth. Like, you're never not going to fear or feel the trauma that lives in your body once you experience it. Not only that, but the implications on the mental and physical health you know of a person. But it's also the economic impact. In Nevada, we have a one in two domestic violence rate in women not one in four. Like it's normal, it's one in two here. We also have one of the sickest things that we're known for here, is that since 1993 we have the highest rate of male partners killing their female partners in the nation. Now you mentioned, obviously trafficking and other things, and so I'm just like, this is my community. I've lived here for 15 years. I'm not, I don't want to be known for these things. I want to be known for a community that steps up for their community.
Lesley Logan 33:48
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and it's, you know, it's one of the reasons that we actually, because I did not know those stats when I moved here, I don't know that it stopped me. But, like, I think it's an interesting thing, right? Like, when you look at that stuff, you can't unsee it. But one of the things that I love about this town is is the community of the locals who come together and they like, truly, like, one of the things I always say is, like, if I'm doing an event, people will freaking show up. And if they don't show up, they share, and if they can't share it, they like, they like, ask if I need any help with anything else. Like, there's just, there is that. And I think that's actually in a lot more cities. And I think if you're feeling lonely, you gotta go find the people who are trying to make change where it feels like that it's an uphill battle. Like, why would you do that? So find the people like Joy and and that because do you get to feel like you're part of something, and you get to be part of something, and then you're there's safety in it, you know, like people see my car and they are looking around for me like, that is one thing I know. Like every time I park my car, people are like, I get text messages, where are you? And I love that. I'm like, I like, I joke because we finally got an actual car. I was like, I do want to wrap it in a bright color. I want people to know. Be like, why would you want people know it's you and I'm like, because I want people looking out for me. I want people like, sure, a stalker could find me, whatever they could always find me and whatever car like, but I want the people in my neighborhood to go, oh, she's around somewhere, and be looking out for me, because I do that for them. Like, that's what I want, you know. So it's really cool. Okay, Joy, you are a woman who does a lot of things you never do one thing. Is there anything else you're excited about right now that we need to know about?
Joy Hoover 35:22
Well, I'm, I'm in a class learning to run for politics right now.
Lesley Logan 35:27
It's insane.
Joy Hoover 35:29
It is absolutely insane. And so I've got, like, we, I graduate from the class in July. This class was built, actually built for Kamala when she was trying to run it for AG, and she needed a community of people to help, and so they built this kind of thing. And so it's me. I'm part of one of 20 women in this class, but my goal is, is to run for office. So I, you know, never wanted to. People always be like, you should run for office. I'm like, hell no. Like, I don't want to do politics, right? But if not us, then who? And like, again, like, my number one issue is women's safety, and I can't believe we've never had a politician who stood on violence against women in our town when we are known for these things I just said, right? So I'm, yeah, I'm, you know, raising money for training, and then finishing training and then just identifying what first, eventually, my goal is Congress, but I'll probably run a local race first to start doing some local Nevada stuff, seeing how we can get the community activated, and then start getting, you know, the nation activated, because Lord knows we need it.
Lesley Logan 36:33
Yeah, I love that you're doing this. You're brave. I mean, you already knew that. But, like, I know people always ask me and Brad, like, are you guys gonna do politics? And I'm like, I would rather have enough money to just give to the right person to go into politics, because I, I think I get too angry. I get too angry, and I just not gonna come out, right? I'm not gonna win. I'm not gonna win any flies with honey. So, so, but I, but I do, I do agree. I can see, like, especially with going on. I'm like, okay, fuck there's just fucking no, who am I donating to? Like, what's going on? So like, at some point you know, and you have to. And then also, just, like in not just local, but there doesn't need to be someone who knows information like you, because the misinformation doesn't help anyone, and no one representing it doesn't help anyone. And also people just and also the really fact that matters, there's too many fucking men in politics who don't know a woman's experience, and they think, well, I was a good husband and I didn't hurt anyone. So, like, this doesn't really happen. And my sons don't like, they don't see it, you know. And so I think it's really, really great. So you guys watch this space. We'll see where Joy is. I would love to know, just make sure. Obviously, we'll vote, because we vote for everything so.
Joy Hoover 37:37
Well, you know, the the other piece about women running is how much money it takes to run these races. It's like, for Assemblywoman or State Senate, it's like 200 grand to raise. For Congress, it's over 2 million. And so you look at, and also, by the way, those state, local, those pay like 9000 a year, so you're also working, so like, it minim, you know, it minimizes the amount of people who can run for these positions. And that actually.
Lesley Logan 38:05
You can't have an actual hourly job. You have to have it, yeah, no, it's really, it's, it's really unfortunate. It's really the whole system's a disaster. But, you know, we need, we actually do need to fight for it, and we need to fight for it with people who actually are looking out for the community, you know, looking out for people. Yeah.
Joy Hoover 38:27
We are the ones we've been waiting for. Like, if there's one thing that I feel like, I wake up every day realizing like, one is a discipline of hope, and two, like you are the person you need, right? It's like we, you know, you say that about like, your your inner child, your younger self, like you are the one who would make them proud, right? Make the world proud. Be that person that you're going like, I want this to change, because not everyone can do that, or, you know, even wants to do it, and that's okay too. I didn't for a long time, but I don't know. I guess I feel like the women's safety needs every component. And we can't just have a product, and we can't just have education, and we can't just have politics, and we can't just, right? We need a an overarching solution to truly see this epidemic change, and that what our family is committed to.
Lesley Logan 39:13
Yeah. Ah, Joy. You're doing so many great things. We're take a brief break and then find out how people can find you, follow you, work with you.
Joy Hoover 39:22
Perfect.
Lesley Logan 39:23
Okay, Joy. Where do they hang? Where do you hang out? Where do they get this amazing product I'm showing it if you're watching on the YouTube. Look at this cute thing. Look at this. Look at this. We got the lipstick.
Joy Hoover 39:36
That's the local hand-painted too, by a local artist. We have two versions. We have that one and we have this one now.
Lesley Logan 39:42
Oh my gosh, it's so fun. Oh my God. I love the art. I love the women on it. I love it. I love it. It's like, it's like, the best. And so we've got this is, this is really cute. It says Thirst Trap. And this is what you could put over your cup. I just think it's, I think the names are so cute. Yeah, it's like a, it's like a condom for your cup guys. And then the Trust Issue. These are the test strips.
Joy Hoover 40:08
Yep, yes. Oh, and you haven't seen it yet, but we have, we'll have to bring him out front Lesley, because we have, we're launching Trustee, the bear, the mascot. This, this.
Lesley Logan 40:22
Oh, my God, please, please, please, walk it through my driveway.
Joy Hoover 40:25
He may just knock on your door at some point. You never know.
Lesley Logan 40:28
I love it. I want to film it for a story. So you've got and there's all this information. So where do they go to Swipe Red to get to get all this stuff?
Joy Hoover 40:36
Yeah, so it's Esōes, but it's not spelled S-O-S. It's spelled E-S-O-E-S, covert spelling, Esōes Cosmetics, you can find us on Tiktok, Instagram, Facebook, all the things. And then our website is esoescosmetics.com and yeah, we are on TikTok shop. We're online. We have it. We're gonna get back into a couple local stores here. But then our goal is obviously to keep expanding into larger retail because we want as many people as possible to have access to this.
Lesley Logan 41:03
Yes, yes, and so and guys like, again, like, college is starting, there's a reason to buy this for any woman in your life. And so I really appreciate not having to get some another face mask. I really just.
Joy Hoover 41:17
Right, yeah, for every, every high school graduate, like, imagine if they bring that to college, because also the first like, the Red Zone. It's called the Red Zone, which is basically like when you arrive in college to Christmas, is the highest amount of sexual and domestic violence that happens in the whole year.
Lesley Logan 41:34
Whoa.
Joy Hoover 41:35
Everyone that is new, especially new people on campus, need to be carrying something. Again, these are solvable issues. That's what we're here for.
Lesley Logan 41:42
Yeah, yeah. Okay, so we're all gonna get that. We're all gonna follow you. We're gonna go on a journey. We're gonna watch her rise in politics. We're gonna say we knew her when. You've given us a lot. And I wanna say, like, I love the like, swiping red on shame. I think that that is, like, something really important. I had a therapist who was like, I want to just caveat, like, my ex was not abusive, but she had said I ignored red flags of the relationship not working out on the first dates. And she said, you have to start practicing noticing red flags. I'm so grateful for that therapist, because I did. I went on a date with a guy. I was like, it feels really controlling. That's a real red flag to me, you know, like, so, like, just real. It was really great. So I love that. But I also want to say, like, if there's anything else, bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted, steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?
Joy Hoover 42:32
Yeah, I would just say, one, hold space for yourself. You can't heal the world or do your dreams if you're not healing yourself first. So I would say that first, and then the second thing is, just try it, like, what's the worst that could happen? I think there's so many dreams that people have and these ideas and ambitions. I mean, I'm a hair stylist who invented this, like, tech, you know, tech and scientific component of a lipstick like and I always say, if I can do it, you can. But the only reason people that actually do things are because we just go, oh, I'm real scared, but I guess I'm just going to keep doing it anyways, right? So heal yourself so that that then you can step into what it is that you want to do. But give it a try.
Lesley Logan 43:11
Yeah, yeah. Give it a try, you guys. I can't tell you how many times I hear that and I'm like, yeah, it gives like, it's like, it's a reminder we all need. And it is very true, like it is not selfish to take a pause on helping others to heal yourself, because you will be able to do so much more from that.
Joy Hoover 43:29
It's not only not selfish, it's it is selfish of you not to heal first. I know that is a rude way to say that, but I just want to be very clear, if you are trying to heal yourself by healing other people, you will harm other people. You have to heal first. And if you don't, you will make you will, you will have best intentions, but impact over I mean, intent versus impact are very different. You may intend to do good, but if you are trying to heal you first, you gotta heal you first period.
Lesley Logan 43:59
Yeah, I'm really glad you said that. It's very it's very true. And I tell people all the time that, like, self-care isn't selfish care. It's actually very selfish. And I say it for a different reason, because I have a different line of work, and I'm like, it is selfish of you to not take care of yourself and then become a dependent and liability to your young children. Sorry, it just is. So there's a whole different was, like, and this is a whole other way of thinking about it. But intent and impact are very different things. And so, everyone, you have the most full permission to go take care of you so that you can do things in your community and for others you want to. Joy Hoover, thank you so much. We must hang out again. And everyone, until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Lesley Logan 44:40
That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.
Brad Crowell 45:23
It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 45:28
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.
Brad Crowell 45:32
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Lesley Logan 45:39
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
Brad Crowell 45:43
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
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