Be It Till You See It

It is easy to get trapped in the "but I’ve always done it this way" cycle, but making an impact requires the courage to put a bow on things that no longer serve your bigger vision. In this last Fuck Yeah Friday episode of April, Lesley Logan dives into the power of ending programs with grace to make room for what’s next. She celebrates incredible global wins, from conservation success stories to falling crime rates, while highlighting how to embrace being a badass at the boring-but-necessary tasks like bookkeeping.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Positive news and wins happening right now from around the world.
• The importance of cheering for peers who raise their rates.
• Navigating tax season and the victory of mastering QuickBooks reports.
• Reflection on the strategic decision to end the business retreat.

Episode References/Links:

• Winning Mindset - https://beitpod.com/winningmindset
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday.

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:44  

Hi, Be it babe, you made it to the end of April. You're here. You did it. Oh my god 1/3 of the year wrapped up. We're done, right? So I don't know if that's a win or like, oh my god. I don't know. I'm recording this in February. I'm unclear whether we were, like, wanting this year to get faster or slow down, you know, but hopefully you're enjoying that freedom horse. So I have inspirational posts, then a win of yours, then a win of mine, and a mantra for you. So if you're new to our Friday episodes. It's a short and quick, wonderful episode, and that scratching in the background is my dog literally not comfortable in his bed. 

Lesley Logan 1:30  

Okay, good news from around the world that nobody talks about this is from Winning Mindset. So Australia can become the first nation in the world to eliminate cervical cancer. That's so fucking cool. That is amazing. Pandas are no longer considered at risk of extinction. This is one of the greatest success stories in wildlife conservation.

Lesley Logan 1:52  

It's amazing. Pandas are, you know what? They're like, (inaudible) to me, they're like, what's happening? Are these bears? What's going on? Portugal is preparing to open Europe's first large elephant sanctuary for elephants rescued from circuses and zoos. So that's interesting. I guess I would have thought that there was an elephant sanctuary already. But also, how many elephants are in Europe because I'm sure that they almost all been brought there. So way to go, Portugal. I love a true elephant sanctuary. The green turtle is no longer considered an endangered species, so that's crazy. Don't let people think that this means that there's no global warming, because there is. It just means that we're doing a better job saving species. The Netherlands are closing prisons that falling as falling crime rates reduce the number of inmates since 2009 more than 20 prisons have closed. That is amazing. I want that for us. I do. Well, I mean by us, I mean in the US, I know we have a lot of people listening all over the place. I have a lot of thoughts on prisons, and I know it's hard because there are some bad people out there, but also, like we're not recidivizing them very well, so we could be doing better. Norway has done the unthinkable, becoming the first country in the world to achieve near zero deforestation rates. I mean, my goodness, how cool is that? Freaking cool. Canada has passed a law that prohibits keeping large great apes and elephants in captivity. I love that. I mean, yes, I of course, I want people to see these animals, but also I want you to travel and see the world. You know, like, we got to a place where, like, the world's coming to us all the time, and I think we need to go see the world. I think that's what makes us more empathetic human beings. So I'm really excited about that. Go Canada. Some Dutch engineers created the world's largest vacuum cleaner, it's 600 meters long, which collects plastic from the oceans and helps restore marine life. I'm obsessed with that. So anyways, some good news, right? 

Lesley Logan 3:52  

All right, so now it's for your win. This is from Amanda Barbee. She wrote, I think this is my favorite one so far, videographer we are learning together just increased her rates because she found her magic number six posts and I forgot how many reels, because I have been offline more, it's only $500 I only need to sell a new package a month. That's amazing. She has some more wins. But I love this. I love when women support women like sometimes when, like, we work with someone and we know our worth, and then sometimes they raise the rates on us, and we're like, right? But really, if our response is, yeah, like, of course, good job. Like, that's the best thing. I love it. When people in my life, services I use raise their rates, I go, fuck yeah, go, girl, get it, you know, like, and then sometimes things become out of my price point, and that's fine. I can still, I can still want to see them win, right? So she also said that she was able to talk to a quick book customer service rep for an hour yesterday, and got positive reinforcement that I am savvy with QuickBooks and with the interface so well, and that I'm a good business person because I've pulled through the same report three different ways to cross reference my blah, blah, blah, and I did it all myself. Thanks for thanks to the reps that they use, I've been able to do it this only one and a half hours without having bookkeeping fiascos. I mean, here's the deal I'm gonna tell you right now, if you are someone who had your taxes all done and this, Amanda said this to me in February, in February, no matter if you feel like you're a baller at QuickBooks or WooCommerce or whatever the tools you have to use, like you're kind of bad as you're very much winning. My team was like, we're just waiting on some things, but our taxes are basically done. We'll just file them in April, because that's when we file our personals. And I was like, oh, I mean, like, I feel like, what an amazing win, because no one wants to deal with that. So if you are dealing with the stuff no one wants to deal with, you are winning, right? Like, sometimes we're like, oh, I didn't do anything this week. All I did was my taxes. You know what? Something people avoid. So way to fucking go. That's a big way that I would put that in the big win category. 

Lesley Logan 5:50  

All right. So now a win of mine. So we have this program that not many people know that we have, every other year do a business retreat for Pilates instructors, and we've done, I think this will be our we just wrapped our fifth one. Want to say it was our fifth. One might have been our fourth. I think it was our fifth. And about three months before it was about to happen, we also had these other ideas of some stuff that we're working on, and I'll share more with you as I can. But at any rate, something like one of my values is authenticity. Another value is transparency, another value is communication. Right? And a lot of people, whenever we have a program, they're like, oh, I can't do this. I'll do the next one. And I knew there's a lot of people saying they want to do a next, the next one. And I just wanted to be honest with people, you know, when I realized that like for us to continue to move forward on some of the things that we're working on, for us to have the impact that we want to make we can't do every single program we've ever done forever. We have to like something has to go. And as much as I love our business retreat that we do in the capacity that we do it, I know that we can't promise that we'll do one ever again. I guess it doesn't mean we'll never do one, but like in the capacity that we do it, the way that we currently host it. It just, it can't continue. And so I wanted, we made that announcement a few months ago, and we just wrapped that amazing last one, and it was such a celebration. I think sometimes when things are the last you like, there's almost like, it's easy for it to almost be like an ending, or like a funeral, you know, like, you're like, oh, like, I watched Suni Lee, like, doing her last floor thing, and the way she was giving herself a pep talk was like, it's yes, it's the last one, but it's a celebration of all the hard work. And so I just want to say, like, our my win is we recognized it was the last one before it was, before it happened, so that we could really, truly give everything we wanted to it. No regrets, no oh, I wish I'd done that before we ended it and I could put a bow on it like that's wrapped, that's a wrap. And I'm proud of the work we did, and I'm proud of the lives we changed, and I'm proud of the people that we coached in that capacity. And I don't know what's next for an idea like that or a program like that in this moment, I don't need to that's a win. That's a win. We can actually be proud of the work that we did and put a bow on it. And I think for my overachievers listening, that's really hard to do, like I always have done it, so I have to keep doing it, and the truth is we don't. So thank you to every single person around the world who came to that program. Thank you for being you. It was really such an honor to do that event. I don't take it lightly. The impact in the world has been incredible. The takeaways that we always hear are remarkable, and I can't wait to see what you do next, truly. 

Lesley Logan 8:32  

All right, your mantra for the week. I have come farther than I would have ever thought possible, and I am learning along the way. I have come farther than I would ever have thought possible, and I'm learning along the way. Yes, you have and you are, you're amazing. You're being it till you see it. Have an amazing day. 

Lesley Logan 8:51  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 9:34  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 9:39  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 9:43  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 9:50  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 9:54  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

What does it look like to truly radiate love and respect from the inside out? Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell break down the powerful conversation with Angie Hawkins, an "Inner Glow Coach" and author of Running in Slippers. A former high-achieving corporate professional who survived a suicide attempt, Angie’s story is a profound roadmap for anyone chasing external validation at the expense of their soul. Lesley and Brad explore the political nature of beauty standards, the necessity of nervous system regulation, and why your self-love actually raises the world's vibration.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Understand the link between beauty standards and the loss of rights.
• Discover why inner glow starts with internal love and respect.
• Learn how radiant self-love combats global negativity and low vibrations.
• Explore the importance of enforcing boundaries to protect your energy.
• Master Angie’s three-step process for a total personal life transformation.

Episode References/Links:

• OPC Spring Training (Virtual Event) - opc.me/events
• eLevate Mentorship Program - lesleylogan.co/elevate
• Pilates Summer Tour - opc.me/tour
• The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor - https://a.co/d/0jjAUZbz
• Running in Slippers Book - https://www.runninginslippers.com/shop
• Free 60-Minute Find Your Glow Session - https://www.runninginslippers.com/coaching
• Angie Hawkin's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/angiehawkins808
• Mindi's Closet - https://www.mindiscloset.com
• Mason Pearson - https://masonpearson.com
• HigherDOSE Dry Brush - https://beitpod.com/higherdoseaffiliate
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell 0:00  

What she discovered was it was actually going internal that allowed her to see who she is and understand, you know, the value that she has, and began to change things, you know. So she said, it's about coming back home to who you actually are. Instead of trying to change all these things that are you're doing, or in your life, or all these external things, it's internal.

Lesley Logan 0:24  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 1:06  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the liberating convo I have with Angie Hawkins in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause, because she's pretty cool. I think she's.

Brad Crowell 1:19  

She's cool. Also like really powerful story.

Lesley Logan 1:21  

Powerful story, and thoughtful and, like, talk about it, be it till you see it story, and she's helping people. And so, I mean, you got to listen to it. You definitely should listen to it.

Brad Crowell 1:30  

Yeah, it's, it's, if you're sensitive to talking about suicide, she didn't go into gory details. But, like, yeah, that was, that's part of her story. 

Lesley Logan 1:38  

You can skip that part. Yeah. We talk about, I mean, you can skip that part. 

Brad Crowell 1:42  

I think it also made it even that much more powerful, because it wasn't like she was a angst, angsty teenager. You know, she was in, she was, she had a corporate career, and, like, even moved, you know, to a beautiful place to live. And still, you know, was, was unfulfilled and unhappy, and now today, she seems like she has come a long way. In a much different place.

Lesley Logan 2:05  

Yeah, I agree. And I, you know, it's hard when it's hard when people kind of bring up that part of their story, because I am like, oh gosh, I have, like, inserted a hey, skip ahead 30 seconds. And also they're on the other side of it. So I do kind of feel like hearing the whole journey is important too. Like, I don't want to take that away from people, and so it's, it's hard to make the decision. But also I, and I want people to speak really about their life. And I just really like her, I like what she's doing. I like her book. Everything's good. So today is April 23rd 2026 and it's Love Your Thighs Day. 

Brad Crowell 2:37  

That's right. 

Lesley Logan 2:38  

Love thyself.

Brad Crowell 2:39  

Love thy thighs.

Lesley Logan 2:40  

Yeah, no. Love thigh thigh self. Love thigh self. 

Brad Crowell 2:43  

Love thigh self. 

Lesley Logan 2:44  

Yes. This day is celebrated on the fourth, yeah, this day is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of a of April every year, and this year, it falls on April 23rd. Women all over the world have a love hate relationship with their bodies. They're constantly encouraged to love their bodies in a society where beauty standards have been predefined and sometimes are unreachable. In fact, most fucking time, Love Your Thighs Day seeks to mitigate this and tell all women around the world that no matter what their bodies look like, they should love them because it's theirs to cherish. You know, it's really interesting this last year's award season, the women are getting a little too, like, on the too skinny side. And I hate saying that because I don't want to judge.

Brad Crowell 3:28  

The 90s, the 90s thing. 

Lesley Logan 3:29  

Yeah. And it's just really hard because, like, we grew up with that, so that was just, like, the norm, and like, whatever ones are trying to be. And then we had this like, moment where we're like, oh my god, that's, like, so unhealthy. And like, there, here's all the information, and like you can't, like you can't, bigger doesn't mean unhealthy, and all these different things. And now we're seeing that again, and it's it's hard for me to watch because I've also been too skinny. And, you know, I get people who say shitty things to me because I they my old YouTube videos are up, and we don't take them down. And you know, I'm in a different body that I'm learning to love and the and I like, I think it's interesting, because people like, oh, you used to be skinnier, and it's like, yeah, I used to be younger, too. I used to, used to have a different metabolism. I used to live in LA, like, I used to, I used to not teach Pilates. Like, there's a lot of used to's. So it's just really kind of interesting. I think the other thing that's really interesting is whenever they're trying to take your rights away. We talked about this before in the podcast, whenever they're trying to take women's rights away. If you look at the trends of what women what beauty in women is, it's always the skinny body, because they want you starving so you're not fueled in your brain to realize they're taking your rights away. The trad wife situation and being super thin, all of that coincides with every time they try to take women's rights away. And so I would just say, like, there's a great book. It's called the body is not an apology. The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

, excellent listen-to on tape if you are not a reader. Beautiful book to read. She had a great interview with Brené Brown many, many years ago because somebody attributed Sonia's quotes to Brené Brown, and Brené Brown's like, that's not my quote. Who said that? Let's make sure we give it to that person. And then Brené Brown interviewed her, and the whole patriarchy would fall down if we all, as women, stopped buying into that there's a certain standard of beauty. All of it is all the smoke and mirrors that has us busy spending money and making sure we look a certain way so we appeal to people who supposedly have the keys of the kingdom that we're looking for. And so you can start by just loving your own thighs. Show them off. 

Brad Crowell 5:34  

I dig it. 

Lesley Logan 5:34  

You know, we first moved to Vegas, I had to start filming in shorts, and I hated it because I could see my cellulite. And I was like, oh, I really hate that. And then one of our members was like, thanks for showing what real legs look like. And I was like, oh, that's a compliment. Okay, but, but, but also then I was like, fuck it. That made her feel good. And so now I'm going to wear shorts. It was a be it till I see it into loving myself in shorts. And now I just wear these short shorts, and my thighs are bigger than you think. And you know what it actually, I don't care. And I love (inaudible). I really do. They're great legs. So I think you have to kind of be it till you see it in some of these things, and you give permission for other people too, as well. So. 

Brad Crowell 6:12  

You got this. 

Lesley Logan 6:13  

Go, love your thighs. Thick thighs save lives. I don't know what business sells that shirt, but there's a business that sells a shirt that says, thick thighs save lives. And I highly recommend supporting that.

Brad Crowell 6:23  

It's like a whole meme.

Lesley Logan 6:24  

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I got a sweatshirt from them, and I got tshirt from them, and it's, it's got the love thigh self and thick thighs save lives, yeah, yeah. So you can find one, I'm sure. Someone will make you one. You know what? Mindi on OPC will probably make you one with Mindi's Closet. So there you go. 

Lesley Logan 6:41  

All right, spring training is around the corner, literally around the corner. We're gonna get those big thighs up over that head of yours. Believe it or not, it is possible. It is true and or we're gonna help you find out what exercises you are going to work on to get there. If you go to opc.me/events you can grab your ticket. If you're an OPC member, check your email. We send you instructions on how to sign up for free. If you're not OPC member, it's a nominal fee. Show up. It's fun. It's good time. eLevate, my mentorship program for comprehensively trained teachers, is almost full, if it's not already filled, but there might be a spot left. You just go to lesleylogan.co/elevate, and see if it's what you're looking for, and get on a call with Brad chat about what it is I just I had the best let me, can I? I'm gonna read a win from today's eLevate. I'm gonna keep their names private. But let me just tell you, this was so freaking sweet. Hold on.

Brad Crowell 7:32  

While you're while you're pulling that up. Summer tour is coming soon, so in August, we're gonna be hitting the road, and you can get information about that also when you're on the opc.me/events waitlist. But if you go to opc.me/tour tickets may be open really soon, like in the next week or three, so stay tuned for that, opc.me/tour. So tell me about eLevate.

Lesley Logan 7:57  

So one of the members this year said, I'd like to thank Lesley for pairing me with her partner, we just get each other. And while I feel like we're the odd couple, she's really neat in her practice, while I'm really messy and still trying to find my longest spine shapes, she's so patient with me. I also feel that her classical background complements my contemporary we definitely have our sessions feeling so much more accomplished, and the props are serious game changer. How fun is that? How sweet. 

Brad Crowell 8:21  

I love it. I think it's amazing. 

Lesley Logan 8:22  

I know. So you know you that could be you. You could be, like, having fun with another person this industry, like learning together. And it's just, it's beautiful. 

Brad Crowell 8:29  

We have had many a an un-sought-out best friend matching. Yeah, we are connecting people who are going to work together for nine months, and then a lot of them stay connected afterwards. And we're we love that. We think that's amazing.

Lesley Logan 8:42  

They still work out together. And also in the alumni group, they're. 

Brad Crowell 8:46  

I just talked to someone in from group one, who still talks to her partner often, yeah, like all the time.

Lesley Logan 8:52  

In three times a week now, there are eLevate grads from all the different rounds that work out together. There are three different ongoing weekly sessions that happen. 

Brad Crowell 9:01  

I love that. 

Lesley Logan 9:02  

Oh yeah. Every Wednesday, at 8am there are people in the UK, Florida, Colorado and California who work out together. 

Brad Crowell 9:07  

Come on. 

Lesley Logan 9:08  

On Sunday mornings, there's another group of people, oh yeah. And then then there's one. I don't know what the time the third group is I haven't really seen it yet, but I say that it's consistent. It's so much fun. It's great. 

Brad Crowell 9:17  

That's awesome. 

Lesley Logan 9:18  

Yeah. And also, the one of the groups has decided to watch their replays along the same weekend time as the current group is going through it. So. 

Brad Crowell 9:28  

Wow. That's a commitment. 

Lesley Logan 9:29  

They're watching their, they're watching their mat replays during the mat now that we'll just wrap the reformer there on the reformer section right now. It's hilarious. 

Brad Crowell 9:37  

I think it's great. 

Lesley Logan 9:37  

I love it.

Brad Crowell 9:38  

Amazing. Good for them. 

Lesley Logan 9:40  

Like you never stop learning. So, anyways.

Brad Crowell 9:42  

All right, well, before we get into this amazing interview, we had a question, Ebbflowpilates on Instagram asks, hi, can you tell me more about the brush that you're using? Do you have a link?

Lesley Logan 9:54  

Oh, the brush for my mat to clean it?

Brad Crowell 9:57  

Oh, that's for your mat? 

Lesley Logan 9:59  

Yeah. 

Brad Crowell 9:59  

I thought it was like a face, face brush, which is why I included it here when we're loving our thighs.

Lesley Logan 10:03  

Oh, okay, well, I will give you all the brushes that I use, okay, so, but I remember seeing this question on the mat cleaning video that we have a YouTube video on, like how to clean your equipment. We have a live and a long form. So honestly, I use a baby's toothbrush. One that's very soft, bristle baby's toothbrush. That's the type of brush that I use for cleaning my equipment. For brushing my eyebrows, I use a spoolie, that's what they're called, and I use that spoolie to dye them. That's what I do. That's how they look this good. I dye them myself, because who has the time for another appointment? For my hair. I love the Mason Pearson, but, Heather, one of our Be It babes, bought me a another kind of brush that I can use in the shower. And it's a little. 

Brad Crowell 10:54  

It's like a detangler. 

Lesley Logan 10:55  

The detangler, and I'm it's the one with the handle. Apparently, it's very famous for not having a handle, but I have too thick of hair for that. 

Brad Crowell 11:02  

Oh, right. 

Lesley Logan 11:02  

So I like that one that she got me for in the shower, and also, I'll take it on travel, because I'm not worried about losing a very expensive British brush.

Brad Crowell 11:11  

Yeah. What's the British brush called? 

Lesley Logan 11:15  

Mason Pearson? Mason Pearson. And that's what I think. It's beautiful. It's like, oh my god, it's like a mid century blue.

Brad Crowell 11:23  

Yeah, Mason Pearson hairbrush.

Lesley Logan 11:25  

Okay, let me tell you how the best way to get that brush in the States, my friends. Go to the U.K. and buy or, if you know a Brit who's flying in, have them pack it, because it was, it's so affordable, until you put the shipping on it, and then you immediately makes you order from the U.S., it's double the price. 

Brad Crowell 11:44  

Is it affordable though? It's not a cheap brush. 

Lesley Logan 11:46  

No, but it works. My hair looks amazing. I mean, if you're watching the YouTube video right now, you're like, Lesley, is it? We're three days out from a hair dye, so leave it alone. But yes, my hair is growing. I have very little breakage. I didn't even have a haircut for a year because, like, I've had no breakage. So those are the brushes I use. I'm trying to think, if there's another kind of brush, oh, I like a dry brush. HigherDOSE has a great dry brush. It's got copper in it.

Brad Crowell 12:06  

You got the pure boar or the boar and nylon? You have the mix. 

Lesley Logan 12:11  

I have the mix because my, for the Mason Pearson, yeah, I have boar bristle which is really great for getting the oil, because I don't like to wash my hair every day. So it pulls the oil out of the roots and into the tips. It makes my hair nice and shiny and healthy and all that kind of stuff. But it depends. They'll have a little information on their site for Mason Pearson, like, what type of brush you get, because there's a full boar, there's a full like, silicone or whatever, and then there's mix. But I have, I have hair that needs mix.

Brad Crowell 12:34  

Yeah, there's, there's boar, nylon or.

Lesley Logan 12:37  

Here's why I really like it. It's doesn't have little balls at the end. So when you're taking the tangles out, it's not ripping them or pulling the tangle into a tighter not. I, you know, I have Type 2A hair. So if you have Type 2A wave hair, you know what that means?

Brad Crowell 12:55  

There's a there's a there's a rating system for hair?

Lesley Logan 12:57  

Yes, yes, Type 2A wave means your hair tangles. That's what it means. It means that the waves don't make any sense, and so when my hair is down, it just becomes a rat's nest within two hours. Don't even give me a scarf with my hair down or coat. That is a disaster. I try to do like a I like a low bun. Why do I like a low bun? Because a low pony is just a recipe for a tangle that is just in a ponytail. So I have to, even if I like my make my hair wavy and do the wave into it. Great. Now it's just gonna be a dread, like just dreads of wave knots. So. 

Brad Crowell 13:33  

Party on. Well, anyway. Baby toothbrushes for the mat. 

Lesley Logan 13:38  

Yes, for your Pilates equipment use that. All right. 

Brad Crowell 13:43  

All right. Well, if you have a question, text us at 310-905-5534, or send it in to beitpod.com/questions.

Lesley Logan 13:51  

I'm clearly a wealth of knowledge. I can give you the names of every brush.

Brad Crowell 13:57  

beitpod.com/questions leave us a win or a question. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about Angie Hawkins. 

Brad Crowell 14:04  

Welcome back. Let's talk about Angie Hawkins. Angie is an "Inner Glow Coach" and the author of the raw memoir Running in Slippers, which I thought was a great title. She explains that on the episode. So if you're interested in understanding that, go back and listen to the interview.

Lesley Logan 14:21  

Because they're not the slippers you think.

Brad Crowell 14:23  

They certainly are not. She's a former corporate professional with over 20 years of experience. Angie spent decades as a high achieving people-pleaser who chased external validation until a move from Chicago to Hawaii revealed that she could not outrun her internal struggles after surviving a suicide attempt and navigating a profound rock bottom during the pandemic, she left the corporate world to help other women stop seeking approval outside of themselves and instead cultivate a deep sense of love, safety and confidence from within. Incredibly powerful story. 

Lesley Logan 14:55  

Really, enjoy her. I really, really did I, when we were doing the conversation was like, oh my gosh, how many other places can I help you be heard? Because, like, you're just doing great work. One of the things I love that she said, Is your inner glow is radiating in your own love and respect so much that it's actually radiating to people outside of you. So like, when you really get that inner glow on, like, it's kind of like, it's like when people talk about you and you're not in the room, but it's all good. You know what I mean? Like, they like, they think about you, and they just start, oh, have you heard of this person? Like, because, like, your inner glow is so out there. People can't help but, like, pick up on it and, like, radiate it out as well. 

Brad Crowell 15:32  

Well, she's also talking about, like, the people around her saying, oh, you're glowing. And she said she didn't think like that it was anything particularly external that they were seeing, they were attracting. She was, you know, because her, her mindset was shifting so much it, you know, everyone was picking up on it, and that's when they were saying, you're glowing.

Lesley Logan 15:58  

I know it's weird. This is how Angie and I are very different. She was glowing from the inside out and radiating out people are like you're glowing oh my skincare line is so good. But like, but she you when, if you watch her, you'll see like, she's just got such joy around her, and she's so connected to the work that she does and how it helped her so that she's helping others. And she emphasized that energy doesn't just stop at the individual. Energy extends outward, inspiring others and potentially raising the vibration of the entire universe. And you know, I'm into that, because I believe that if you do Pilates, you connect yourself. You're more connected to yourself. You're not an asshole, if you're not an asshole, then other people aren't gonna be met with an asshole. 

Brad Crowell 16:36  

It's one less asshole in the world. Do Pilates. 

Lesley Logan 16:38  

And that's gonna change the vibration. Yeah. I'm in, I'm in.

Brad Crowell 16:41  

More Pilates, less assholes.

Lesley Logan 16:42  

Yeah. So she argued that you're either contributing to the world's negative vibration or you're raising it. And I agree. You're, I don't think that there's like a middle ground. You're either contributing or you're raising it. And I do, she also said that radiant self-love is a way to combat the chaos and negativity happening in the world right now. You guys while we're recording this, there's a fucking ton of shit going on, impossible to describe. It's like, when people ask, How am I doing? I have to go.

Brad Crowell 17:09  

Compartmentalize first, then answer. 

Lesley Logan 17:12  

Yeah. Like, well, if we take what's going on in the world out, I'm doing great. I'm doing amazing. If you're gonna add that back in? I don't even know how to answer that question, but, like, but I do think that, like, it is something we can do with that bubble of influence that we can have, you know? 

Brad Crowell 17:30  

Yeah, absolutely. All right. So when she was talking about that, there's a light inside of us that, you know, I found that really interesting, like resonating to me. And I think, like, part of it is, also, I have a couple thoughts, it's kind of like charisma, right? We don't realize, realize the risk, yeah, it's risk. We don't realize how impactful it is or or can be, and when we are, when we are not putting ourselves first, or we are seeking perfectionism, like even if it's subconsciously or people pleasing, we're dimming our own light. And for her, she said she told us the story about when she almost died, she was with her friend, and she said to her friend, I can't believe I'm not dead. And her friend's response was, it's not your time to go, right? And she said there was something in that moment that, like, really snapped her out of everything that she'd been doing for decades. And she, shortly thereafter, you know, started making dramatic life changes and leaving her job and things like that. And she, she she said that, you know, I think when people started to see the shift in her, the glow, they were talking about, you know, because she said, we are born with the light inside of us, but we just, we let it get dimmed.

Lesley Logan 18:53  

It does. It gets dimmed because of, like, things her parents say, they're, they're, they mean well, but like, you know, you talk too much, or you're just, you take too much attention, like your you know, like you be quiet, and then, like, those are, like, all appropriate things, but like, you start to internalize them, depending on who you are. And then a teacher tells you, like, oh, that was so stupid, but you took it as I'm stupid. And then, like, a boss is all of a sudden, it's like layers upon layers of these things that you internalize, and your light just gets dimmer and dimmer. Because some unless you have people around you to turn it back up, you know, or you do, you got to turn it back up. So I agree, and it just gets hard.

Brad Crowell 19:30  

Yeah, I think ultimately, her argument was that a lot of the self-help stuff, she really said she did a lot of it, like trying to, yeah, like, figure things out. This is, like, before the move. She's, you know, she said she did a lot of that stuff in her 30s, and basically, she said it's almost always an external change that they're recommending. And she, what she discovered was it was actually going internal that allowed her to see who she is and understand, you know, the value that she has, and began to change things, you know? So she said, it's about coming back home to who you actually are. Instead of trying to change all these things that are you're doing, or in your life, or all these external things, it's internal, you know?

Lesley Logan 20:16  

Yeah, no, it is. I mean, like, going back to, like, love thigh self, right? Like, your external body is going to change. And yes, there's arguments of, like, I just want to be attracted to the person when I'm younger. That's a different story, but you're the actual outside of you is going to change. So if all you're ever working on is the outside stuff, you're missing out, like the inside is, like, ideally, just gets brighter and more profound and more knowledgeable and more connected and more in tuned. You know, we have a series coming up about listening to your inner voice, your intuition, and one of the things you can't have intuition is if you don't have experience. So that's why, when you're younger, you don't have the intuition that you have when you're older, because you don't have life experiences around certain things. And I think that like as we get older, like, that's one thing we have that we didn't have we were younger. It's like this sense of experience of what's real. I like that she emphasizes, like, going inward and getting to know that.

Brad Crowell 21:10  

Yeah, it's just fascinating to listen to her, and also a little bit shocking, because I didn't see that part of her story in who she is today, you know? And so it was really interesting, because it kind of took me by surprise, but also, wow, how much has she learned from that experience? So stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about those really powerful Be It Action Items that we had with Angie Hawkins. 

Brad Crowell 21:38  

All right, y'all welcome back. We're going to dig into these Be It Action Items we have with Angie. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from that convo? And she said strong boundaries is like one of the most important things. It's huge. And she said the hard part is not setting the boundaries. The hard part is enforcing the boundaries right so you can make all the boundaries you want up in your head. If you blow past them, it doesn't matter, right? And she said, there's also people who will intentionally try to walk over the boundaries that you're setting, and, you know, and, and they'll just try to, like, there's something weird about it. Like people like to break the rules and press, you know, they like to press their luck, all those kinds of things. And for her today, her boundaries are usually mostly, well, what you discussed was mostly around her work. She's like, yeah, I just don't coach people on the weekends. And she said that when people will ask, she'll just tell them, oh, sorry, yeah, I don't coach on the weekends. And she said, if they really press me on that, they're probably not the person that I actually want as a client, because they're not just gonna push that boundary. They're gonna break everything, or do none of the work that I'm working on them with, like, all those kinds of things. And she's like, yeah, so. 

Lesley Logan 22:52  

We're just talking about this with our friend Michael, who like, also, like coaches people and, like, some of the things that people, like, expect of things and like, they just push and push. And you're like, okay, I'll do this. Okay, I'll make this what's just what this one time? And it's like, actually, it's not like, I remember when I first started teaching Pilates, people thought I was crazy because I wouldn't offer a discount to people who pay in cash. And I'm like, so what happens when one time, they're like, oh, I don't have cash. Can I just pay for a check today? And then they're like, oh, it's the same price, right? Because this is one time, yeah, it's like, it's never, just one fucking time, never, never. It's like, let me just see what I can get away with. And, you know, I'm not saying they're all trying to be nefarious. I don't think it's a conscious thing. I think it's like, sometimes subconscious. 

Brad Crowell 23:32  

Yeah, you know, you just have to be able to say, no, sorry.

Lesley Logan 23:36  

Also, if you don't know if that person's pressing you, you can also say, can I get back to you? And then that way you can take a moment to see, is this some, is this a boundary that they're crossing?

Brad Crowell 23:46  

Honestly, that was one of the best ways to get out of a tough situation is like, can I, can I think about that and get back to you? And to just say that, because it gives you space where you don't feel pressured to make a decision in the moment that you will you know might regret later, and it allows you the space to, you know, actually, like, like, mull it over and decide, what do I actually want to do? And then obviously, you still have to go back to him and respond, but it takes away that in the moment pressure, you know, yeah. What about you?

Lesley Logan 24:17  

Okay. This is great. Get ready. Write this down. Three-step process for personal transformation. This is Angie Hawkins, three-step process for personal transformation.

Brad Crowell 24:25  

I love this, by the way.

Lesley Logan 24:26  

Decide any meaningful change in your life comes from a decision.

Brad Crowell 24:30  

Yeah, decide you have to do it. Have to decide.

Lesley Logan 24:33  

Without total commitment, the wishy washy energy leads to quitting the second it gets hard. 100%. Decide, you can't make a wrong decision. It's gonna get you to where you're gonna go. You're gonna learn something. Take action. It's all about feeling the fear and doing it anyway, which is also in conjunction with part three. But hello, if you listen to this podcast, you know that action brings clarity, it's the same. And then part three, nervous system regulation. Before you take action, prime your nervous system. You can do that by sitting up straight. Breathing. And she also suggested the goddess walk is walking into a space with ownership, regardless of internal anxiety. 

Brad Crowell 25:07  

I have arrived. 

Lesley Logan 25:08  

Exactly, exactly. I really, I think that if I think that it's.

Brad Crowell 25:12  

They're very practical. You know, it's great. 

Lesley Logan 25:14  

Anyone could do this. Decide, take action, regulate your nervous system. Yeah, walk like the goddess that you fucking are. 

Brad Crowell 25:22  

Yeah, today I had to get up really early for a doctor's appointment, and last night, I decided I will wake up at, you know, this time so that I can make it on time to the thing. And you know, my alarm was accidentally soft. Don't know why it was soft, but somehow I heard it and I woke up. 

Lesley Logan 25:42  

Well, it's good you made that decision. Oh, thank god because you didn't text me. And so when you came into the yoga you're like, bye, and I'm like, he got himself up, okay. 

Brad Crowell 25:50  

Up and out. 

Lesley Logan 25:51  

All right. He's, he's on it. He's doing it.

Brad Crowell 25:54  

Something amazing about making a decision.

Lesley Logan 25:56  

Well, I couldn't agree more. Go check out Angie Hawkins, I think she's wonderful. I'm Lesley Logan. 

Brad Crowell 26:01  

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan 26:02  

Thank you so much for listening to us today. We're really grateful for you. We're so excited for what you're being it till you see it. We hope these guests have been helping you, and we want you to send in your questions, your wins, all that kind of stuff to beitpod.com/questions. Send this to a friend who needs to hear it, like truly, I think Angie's story can resonate with so many different women right now, and I think it's really important, so please, please spread the word about her and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Brad Crowell 26:25  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 26:26  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 27:09  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 27:14  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 27:18  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 27:25  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 27:28  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Brad Crowell 27:44  

Okay, welcome back. This is episode 671, Angie Hawkins recap. Take it away.

Lesley Logan 27:52  

I feel like a blowfish, feel like a blowfish.

Brad Crowell 28:05  

Welcome back. Just kidding, we're not doing that. All right, y'all welcome back. Okay, all right, so what I really loved was what she's talking about, being. 

Lesley Logan 28:22  

Sorry.

In this raw and honest episode, Inner Glow Coach Angie Hawkins joins the pod to share why changing your environment won’t fix what’s going on inside, and how to love yourself without chasing approval. After moving 4,000 miles to Hawaii and realizing her struggles followed her, Angie hit a rock bottom moment that led to an intentional overdose, and a life-changing wake-up call. She shares how she rebuilt from that place by setting healthy boundaries, questioning old beliefs, and finally choosing herself.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Understand why life is like running in slippers.
• Why you cannot outrun your internal problems.
• How healing requires making a firm commitment.
• How to love yourself by creating your own life rules
• How to set and enforce healthy boundaries with others.

Episode References/Links:

• Running in Slippers - https://www.runninginslippers.com
• Running in Slippers Book - https://www.runninginslippers.com/shop
• Free 60-Minute Find Your Glow Session - https://www.runninginslippers.com/coaching
• Angie Hawkin's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/angiehawkins808

Guest Bio:

Angie Hawkins is an Inner Glow Coach who transforms high-achieving, spiritual women from chasing love and approval to radiating fierce confidence so they can finally feel happy, free, and loved for who they are. She works with women who’ve done therapy, read the books, tried the spiritual path, but still feel like something’s missing. Through deep inner work and identity transformation, she helps them break the cycle of not feeling “enough,” so they can experience real love, confidence, and peace without having to change who they are. 

She is the author of Running in Slippers, a raw and vulnerable memoir about finding resilience after emotional rock bottom. Angie has moved from Chicago to Hawaii on her own, jumped out of a helicopter and into the ocean Navy SEAL-style, bungee jumped, skydived, and cliff jumped, yet is still terrified about allowing herself to be seen.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Angie Hawkins 0:00  

I was released from the hospital, and I called a friend, I told her everything that happened, and I ended with, I can't believe I didn't die. And her response was, it's not your time. And it was so profound that it sent a cold chill through my body.

Lesley Logan 0:16  

I have chills right in this moment. 

Angie Hawkins 0:18  

Yeah, and I in that moment, I was like, okay, I think I have a purpose. And I was determined to figure out what it was.

Lesley Logan 0:28  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 1:11  

All right, Be It babe. When I met this woman, I knew I had to have her on because she she had, in her story you're gonna hear so much of you, and then you're going to hear her transformation, and it's what a lot of you are trying to be it till you see. I will say, in her journey, we do have, we do discuss a suicide attempt. If that is something that's going to activate you today, please honor yourself. It isn't, doesn't go into detail, but it's, it's a part of her journey. And I do think it is worthy to hear the whole journey of how she got to where she is, how she becomes the inner glow coach that she is, and also like how you can have inner glow in your life, and how that changes things. And she's just so authentic and so cool. And I'm really jazzed for you to hear this. So here's Angie Hawkins. 

Lesley Logan 1:57  

Hey, Be It babe. I'm really excited and ready for this conversation. Our guest today is Angie Hawkins, and I think you're gonna hear a lot of similarities in her story and her journey and what she's working on. If you have ever felt like you've done all the things and it's still not working, today's episode is for you. So Angie Hawkins, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?

Angie Hawkins 2:19  

Yes. Hi everyone. Thank you for having me, Lesley. I am an inner glow coach, and what that means is I help high achieving women stop chasing love and approval and everything outside of themselves, and actually radiate it from within, so they can finally feel happy, free and loved for who they are. And I am also the author of Running in Slippers, which is a raw and vulnerable memoir, that the whole point of the book, because it's very vulnerable, is to encourage connection through vulnerability, because that's how we truly connect as human beings. 

Lesley Logan 2:49  

I couldn't agree more. Also, if you're not watching this beautiful woman on our YouTube channel, are those fresh flowers in your hair? Where are you living right now that you get to have those beautiful flowers in your hair?

Angie Hawkins 3:01  

I live in Hawaii, so yes, I have fresh flowers in my earrings.

Lesley Logan 3:05  

Oh, my god, stop. Well, okay, so Running in Slippers, like, most like, I feel like there's a book like, Running in Heels, which already sounds terrible, Running in Slippers isn't easy to do either. Can we go into like, can we get vulnerable a little bit and talk about, like, how did that title come about? Like, what? What is the journey that you had to go on? Because I do think, by the way, if you're listening, we all get to go on a journey like that is the beautiful thing about this life. And sometimes I think we feel like, why is this happening to me? But there's something we get to learn from that. So can you, can we hear yours?

Angie Hawkins 3:36  

Yes, I love that. And first of all, I before I get into my whole story, which, honestly, the book Running in Slippers gets into all the details, because what I'm going to give you is just the high level cliff notes version. But I live in Hawaii, and we call flip flops, slippers, so it really means running in flip flops.

Lesley Logan 3:52  

Even harder, even more dangerous.

Angie Hawkins 3:55  

So, but the reason I titled the book that way is because it's a metaphor for life, because life, it can be fun, playful and adventurous, but it can also be difficult, painful and scary, just like running in flip flops. 

Lesley Logan 4:07  

Yeah, oh, that's so funny. Can you tell I'm totally not an island girl and I do call them slippers. And they can be, like, very childlike, like, you're running on the beach, like, it's really cool, and then you all of a sudden are running on a slippery sidewalk. And, yeah. 

Angie Hawkins 4:21  

Exactly. So, yeah. I think once people understand what it means, it's relatable. And if you do read the book, or anyone listening, if you do read the book, I explained that immediately in the introduction, so that people don't think I'm actually running in house slippers or like that just ruins the whole meeting. I think.

Lesley Logan 4:39  

I mean, well, you know what? Actually like I was picturing, like you going through something, just like being a girl in her house shoes like running, chasing a dream down.

Angie Hawkins 4:48  

I think there's so many metaphors, yeah.

Lesley Logan 4:51  

Awesome. Well, let's get into the Cliff Notes. I love it. 

Angie Hawkins 4:55  

Yes. So basically, like most people, my origin story starts in childhood. And I was raised in a household where the most succinct way to say it is that my both of my parents were extremely emotionally unavailable. And as an adult, I understand what that means, and I have the tools to process that and understand it. But as a little girl, I didn't have those tools, and the way I interpreted the situation is that I thought that I didn't deserve to be loved. So very early, early on in life, I developed this belief. And as most of us are aware, your beliefs dictate your behaviors, and then that dictates what you attract into your life. So needless to say I struggled for many years because I was a people pleaser. I was the one who was chasing love and approval outside of myself. I was the overachiever, because I thought to earn the love and respect and approval, I had to have a high position at work, or I ran marathons for a while, and that became my identity, like I had to get a good time. I was reaching for everything outside of myself, yet I still felt extremely unhappy and unfulfilled, and I was at a point in life where I honestly didn't even think that was available to me. I thought this is just how life was. I didn't think I was worthy of it. I thought it was just something that other people had. So if I was viewing someone else who was happy and fulfilled in their life, it just didn't even seem attainable for me. So even though I was very unhappy, I just kind of went along life, not really knowing what to do about it, like I would read self help books or, you know, do something like go to yoga, or have, like a spiritual practice or something, and that would provide short term a short term fix, but I didn't really have anything implemented for a long term change. And the first real turning point came in 2017, my boyfriend broke up with me, and then my dad passed away, and I was 37 years old, and I had spent 37 years avoiding my feelings, doing everything I could not to feel them, but I was in such profound grief that it was impossible not to feel my feelings, yet I didn't have the tools for emotional regulation. So the best way to say it was I felt like shit for most of that year because I was just sitting in these feelings that I didn't know what to do with. And 2018 came around, and I was probably like, in this New Year's resolution energy, and I decided that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I decided, like, I wanted to make some changes, and I wanted to be happy. I was living in Chicago at the time, and that's when I decided I wanted to move from Chicago to Hawaii.

Lesley Logan 7:49  

Major differences. Huge differences. 

Angie Hawkins 7:52  

Yes and I will say it was well intentioned, because I was actually taking agency over my life. I was doing something to make a change and be happier. It was not well intentioned, and that I was still reaching for something outside of myself to be the thing that made me feel better, because I wanted the change in location to be the thing that made me happy. And this will probably not come as a surprise, you cannot move away from your problems, so I moved 4000 miles away, and I still had the exact same issues. Not only that, I developed a whole new roster of problems. So, for example, in 2018 remote work was not the trendy thing to do, but I was very fortunate, because my job allowed me to move and keep my job. But at the exact same time that I moved there was this huge management shake up at work that threatened my role, and because I was in this victim mentality of like this is all that's available to me and like this happening to me. I for the first year that I lived here, I lived in constant fear of losing my job. I had a really hard time making friends when I first moved here, which was something I had never dealt with before. So struggling with making friends, being thousands of miles away from anyone I knew, felt extremely isolating. 

Lesley Logan 9:10  

Yeah, and you're in an island, so it's already isolated.

Angie Hawkins 9:13  

Exactly, exactly. So it's like I didn't have, you know, I just felt really lonely, basically. And the last major thing that happened when I moved here is like to prove how all in and committed I was to my decision. I bought a condo, but then a month after my condo closed, a shared pipe backflowed into my bathroom and I wasn't home, so my entire condo flooded. Yes. So this is all this is all right off the bat. So again, I'm expecting the change to be the thing that makes me feel better, and everything was falling apart. 

Lesley Logan 9:46  

And you're literally doing everything it says I got to go all in, got to burn the boat. You got to buy that condo without the pike being checked. Oh my god, and you haven't even hit Covid yet, shit. 

Angie Hawkins 9:58  

Well, that brings me to Covid because, so that was 2018 right? So, and I'm trying to be like I was totally emotionally bypassing my feelings. I'm like, It's fine, I got this, but I'm not even exaggerating when I say the next two years it was like thing after thing, like my grandma died, like there was always something, and because I didn't have that emotional foundation within myself, because everything outside of me was unraveling. I was unraveling, and then Covid happened. So I don't even have to explain how that exacerbated the situation, just, but the straw, the straw that broke the camel's back was the end of a relationship during Covid. And I just had this moment where, and I think we all have this. I still have these moments where it's like I can't take this anymore, but unfortunately, layered on top of that feeling was the sheer feeling of hopelessness, because nothing had been going well, and I truly could not see any hope for the future, and that is such a dangerous place to be, so I intentionally overdosed on my anxiety medication, and I spent a day and a half unconscious in my bathroom. I spent another day and a half in the hospital.

Lesley Logan 11:09  

Wait, no one knew you were in your bathroom?

Angie Hawkins 11:12  

No, I miraculously, I was blacked out. I miraculously texted a friend and she took me to the hospital. That's the only way I was transported. 

Lesley Logan 11:22  

Oh my god. What a story. Oh my god. Oh my god. You're like, this is crazy.

Angie Hawkins 11:28  

And then where I'll end is I was released from the hospital, and I called a friend, I told her everything that happened, and I ended with, I can't believe I didn't die. And her response was, it's not your time. And it was so profound that it sent a cold chill through my body. 

Lesley Logan 11:48  

I have chills right in this moment. 

Angie Hawkins 11:49  

Yeah and I in that moment, I was like, okay, I think I have a purpose. And I was determined to figure out what it was.

Lesley Logan 12:00  

Oh my gosh. I just want to say thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad there was something in you that texted a friend, and I'm also glad that that friend wasn't on, like, Do Not Disturb like, I oh my god. I'm that friend. I'm the Do Not Disturb friend. I this. I would.

Angie Hawkins 12:14  

My phone's always on silent.

Lesley Logan 12:17  

I gotta figure this out. There's gotta be a bypass for people. But like, I It's so clear, not only is it not your time, but there was a part of you that was always trying to figure this out. I think in hearing your story like, there was this part of you that's like, I am, there is more for me out there, but like you so there's and I think we all have this. I think so many of my listeners who are here like they know there is more, and yet, when they try to do the more something happens. There's always a thing that happens, like, they make more money, and then a huge bill happens. They break up with the toxic relationship, and then this thing happens, and now they're alone. Like, I you know, there's a whole thing. It's like everything is in balance. Like, you get a good thing and you need a bad thing. But like, also sometimes we're just not ready. If you don't have the muscle for that, then it just feels like you're getting beat while you're down. 

Angie Hawkins 13:07  

Exactly. And I think we're saying the same thing, but I look at it as, for example, in my situation, my brain and my heart felt like they didn't want to be here, but my soul, or higher self, or whatever you want to call it, really did. So I think there's always this part of us, and we're all connected to our intuition or higher self, whether we're like, in tune to it or not, but there's always that part of us that's calling us to this higher purpose or something else, but then we have to deal with the realities of the real world. 

Lesley Logan 13:38  

Yeah. So you wake up in this hospital and you now, like, it's not your time, but like, you have to then get out of the hospital and and figure so how do you, how do you do that? Like, where do you start? Because, like, there's a million books, there's a million courses, there's 17 million charlatans, you could end up in a cult real easily, you know. So how did you, how did you figure it out?

Angie Hawkins 14:01  

Well, I don't know if this is lucky or unlucky, but because at the time this happened, I was 40 years old, and I had spent out of my 30s reading all the books, doing all the workshops, doing all of that stuff. But again, it had only provided like something short term. It really didn't give any meaningful long term change in my life. So fast forward to when, you know, my friend told me that, and I decided, like, okay, I need to get help, and I need to get help the right way. I decided to invest in myself and actually hire a coach, because it had been something I was thinking about. But when you're not fully committed to a decision, you're just kind of in this wishy-washy energy. And in addition to that, again, I was in the state of not really feeling worthy of investing in myself or putting in the time, energy or money. But when you're desperate like I was, because keep in mind, I felt worse than I did before I took the pills and yeah like, I can't explain what almost dying does to you, but there were several weeks where I had one foot on the other side of the veil, which was kind of a scary experience in its own so for several weeks, my only goal was to make it through the day. So I was so desperate for help, and I knew I had to get help the right way that like, the first thing I did was reach out to a coach. And again, this just happened to be luck, because in my I call it like from the time I got out of the hospital out I call that my healing in earnest journey, but my healing not in earnest. I had gone to this healing intensive, and I had met this coach, and he was actually a men's dating coach, but he doesn't teach, like pick up artists type stuff. He teaches men how to be the best versions of themselves so that they can attract the right partner. So we followed each other on Instagram. So all of his messaging, even though it was, like, geared toward men, it was about being the best version of yourself. So I had thought about reaching out to him before, but now that I was desperate, I'm like, I don't care if he's a men's dating coach, I'm reaching out to him. So I reached out to him. 

Lesley Logan 16:17  

You had trust in him, yeah. 

Angie Hawkins 16:17  

We talked, yeah, yeah. So I was very lucky that I had already made that connection with someone I trusted. Otherwise I would have been searching.

Lesley Logan 16:25  

Yeah, and like, at a time that, like, I again, there's, there was a party that was already seeking these things out, just those other, the other part of you that was like, like you said, not feeling worthy. And I, I hear this, you know, I just came back from an amazing retreat. And one of the women who came on it, she's like, yeah, I'm one of those people who kept going, oh, I'll do it next time, oh, you know when I have this, then I then I can sign up for it, or when I've done this, then I can sign up for it. And then she's like, fuck it. I'm, I'm worthy to go right now. I'm like, that. 

Angie Hawkins 16:54  

I love that. 

Lesley Logan 16:55  

That right there that makes me so happy. And also, you know, so many people, smart women, listening to this show right now will do that, that little negotiation, oh, when I do this, then I'll be and it's like, you're fucking worthy already. And this is no offense to the parents who are listening. Everyone is doing the best they can, but most of us, somewhere in life along the way, feel like we have to earn the worthiness that we were already born with. Yeah, yeah.

Angie Hawkins 17:21  

Yes, yeah. And that's where, like, the chasing something outside of yourself come from. 

Lesley Logan 17:24  

Yeah and then that's why you only get those quick little fixes, but it doesn't last. So you found this guy and he helped you, and then what, like, was it like, well, I've made it.

Angie Hawkins 17:36  

No, it was absolutely a process. I won't sugarcoat that part, because any lasting change is a process, right? But the value and the work that I did with him was, you know, I still have these limiting beliefs, like I'm not worthy, I don't deserve to be loved, blah, blah, blah, but he helped me change my behaviors so that eventually, because if when I started setting healthy boundaries, when I started trusting myself, when I started implementing all the things that we talked about, like over time, that actually changed my beliefs. And so now I do believe I deserve to be loved. I do respect myself, I do trust myself, but that all came like through this process of working with a coach, and that's what ultimately led me, because I was in corporate America for over 20 years, but in stepping into my authentic self and realizing what I want in life, what makes me happy and fulfilled, I realized corporate America was not it, and I also realized that there are so many other women who are now struggling in the same way that I used to struggle. So I was like, I want to help them. So I quit corporate America and became an inner glow coach.

Lesley Logan 18:44  

I love this. I also love that it's inner glow, like, it's just like, because it's, you know, we we are, most of us are seeking outside of ourselves to change the inside of ourselves. And you just said something about, like, your limiting beliefs, and once you change your beliefs, it's true. Like, we think, okay, well, first of all, this environment, it's not clean. So because this room isn't clean, I can't do the things that I said I was going to do. And then when you don't do the things you said you're gonna do, you don't have confidence. Because that's just, by the way, how confidence works, right? Like, confidence works by doing the thing you said you're gonna do. And so, but then we're like, but we think it's this outside stuff, oh, I gotta make sure that, like, this is just right, or that's just the lighting is just right, but really it's the belief system that we have that affects everything. So can we, do you mind if we go there? Like, can we talk about that? Because, like, if you're someone who typically, you see a people pleaser, and who you know was also, as you mentioned, like, nervous, like, nervous about, like, losing your job. Like, I imagine that the belief systems you had were then causing you to, like, run around and be everything to everybody, and then you have to change the belief systems to be like, nope, not doing that. Like, what's the process? How do you do that?

Angie Hawkins 19:52  

I mean, it's a whole process, but the whole, and this is what my coaching program is based on, but the overall concept is, we're all born with this light inside of us, but then as we go about life, there's family systems, there's society systems, there's corporate America systems, there's all these systems that if you really think about it, they're just arbitrary rules that someone made up along the way, and we're just blindly following them so we become disconnected from ourselves, and it dims our light. And for example, because I used to be a people pleaser, I would not even question, like, if someone invited me to do something or asked me to do something, I wouldn't even question, like, what do I want to do? What makes me happy and fulfilled? So it's not about and I and this is why I think I struggled with self help when I was healing in my 30s and reaching for things outside of myself, because a lot of it is geared toward fixing yourself or changing something about yourself, but really it's about coming back home to who you are and basing your life off of that. Because when you stop giving your power away to all these external things, you've really stopped caring. Because when you're concerned about, am I living in integrity? Am I happy with who I am as a person? Am I happy with my decisions? You stop caring about what other people think about it.

Lesley Logan 21:13  

That is so true. That is so true, and so many I was just doing a call with some of the people that I, that I teach today, and, you know, I could tell the question was a very valid question, but I was like, so people, some people like you, if you do it the authentic, the way that's authentic to you, that's also okay, like, they're allowed to go, I don't like that. And it doesn't mean that you're not a great person, you're not a great teacher, but we are so conditioned to be liked, if you're liked, then you did something right?

Angie Hawkins 21:45  

Yes. And I actually have the opposite viewpoint now, because I totally used to be like that. I wanted everyone to like me, and if someone didn't, then I would like chase after their approval. But now, now I really don't care. And that doesn't mean I don't care about the other person. It's just, it just means that I respect their free will, like, I'm not for everybody, and that's okay, like they have other people that they choose to surround themselves with, and that's okay. I respect who they are as a person, but you have to be like, so grounded in who you are as a person to even get to that point. 

Lesley Logan 22:17  

Yeah, and that's the hard part, because also, if you're so used to trying to anchor in the outside world of who you are, then coming home to yourself, it's gonna feel unfamiliar. And people don't like change, right, like. 

Angie Hawkins 22:34  

Yeah and I think that's why a lot of people resist change, because a huge part in my healing and earnest journey was finding who I was, which was a huge identity shift, because I didn't even know who I was, because I had spent most of my life conforming to all these things outside of myself, and it is very scary. So I was able to see why I had resisted it for so long.

Lesley Logan 22:57  

Yeah. I mean, it makes me think of like that Runaway Bride, where she like, doesn't, she takes her eggs, you know, and then at the end, she just, you're like, ordering eggs all the different ways so she can figure it out. Because it's like, it is kind of like, well, how do you know you're home? Like, how do you know that you're not, like, conforming again, just another way, you know, that's, can you see, like, where my anxiety will go?

Angie Hawkins 23:18  

Well, no. Like, one of the first things that my coach worked with me on, and this is one of the first things I work with my clients on, is creating your own rules for life. So you create these value statements, and it's like any decision you make, you just kind of go down the list. Am I doing this? This, this? Then, yep, then I'm good to go. So once you have your own rules for life, it doesn't matter. I mean, as long as you're not breaking the law or anything, which. 

Lesley Logan 23:43  

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, like, and that's true, like, you're not hurting people, there are rules for your life that affect only you. And I actually love this because, you know, people like, we coach Pilates instructors on their business. And someone's like, why should I do this? And I'm like, what are your values for your business? Does it go through those? And so it makes sense to have rules for life that's just very much a value system of how you want and it's like, does this, you know, does this? Like, I will do things that light me up. I will do things after 9am because I no longer get up early for people like, oh, this person wants to meet at 9am well, then that is a no, yeah.

Angie Hawkins 24:20  

Well, it's hard to do, but once you have that system in place, life is so much easier, because that's another thing. I used to feel like life was such a struggle, but it was because I was making that way for myself.

Lesley Logan 24:32  

Yeah, yeah. I think we all, I think a lot of us are doing that. So I guess like, so since you were, can we go back to it like, when you're a people pleaser like that look like, just like being a yes person for whatever people are saying. How do you now respond to people asking things of you, or the like, if you know what I mean, like, what is some what is a way that you're now responding in life to not being a people pleaser and owning things for yourself and owning like the way you want to live?

Angie Hawkins 24:58  

Yeah? Yeah, I guess it's different for different situations, but because I think I swayed too far, because I first started implementing boundaries when I worked in corporate America, and at first I would just be like, nope, not doing that, nope, but which no it well.

Lesley Logan 25:16  

Angie used to do everything, now she does nothing.

Angie Hawkins 25:19  

And no, is a complete sentence, but you do have to take into consideration the circumstance, especially if it's like work for family and friends. But usually I'll just simply explain, like, for example, something that comes up frequently is that people will ask me to have a call on the weekend, and that's just the boundary that I have. I don't do calls on the weekends. I will rearrange any time during my week, like, to some extent, but I just like, that's my personal time where I recharge is the weekend. So if someone is like, I just had someone this week, well, can you do a call on a Saturday? And I was like, no, I'm sorry I don't do calls on the weekends. It was no problem. She's like, oh, sure. I'll find another time during the week. So it's, it seems scary to do, but in most cases, it's not a problem. Now, if she would have said, like, there's absolutely no other time during the week for the foreseeable future, I might have considered it. So it's still not a strict no, but I do protect my energy as much as possible.

Lesley Logan 26:18  

Yeah, well, and I, but I love the way you phrased it, because you're also educating the person that it's like, instead of saying, like, some people would go, like, like, you do it this one Saturday, but like, that isn't setting a boundary. It's actually like letting them think that that's a thing. And instead, you're like, oh, I don't do calls on the weekends. That is actually like letting people, letting the person know, like, it's not a, no, I don't like you. It's just a you're asking for a time that's not available and isn't available. You know? So, and I think that you know a lot of people who struggle with being liked, feeling worthy, the people pleasing there's, it's, it's such a simple sentence, once you are have arrived, and like knowing that you're worthy, and it's so difficult, because it's like, you just say that. You just say no, I don't do calls on the weekends. It's like, give it a try, you know. But it's hard. It's hard for people. 

Angie Hawkins 27:06  

It is hard. But the funny thing is, it really is that easy, because, like, the first few times I had to say no, because I used to be I used to have zero boundaries, like I couldn't even if someone invited me to do something. I couldn't even say no to that. But when I first started using the word no, like, no, I'm sorry, I need to rest this weekend or whatever, and then they were like, okay, that's fine, because it's very rare that you have people push back. And honestly, the people that do push back on your boundaries are the kind of people you don't want in your life anyway. 

Lesley Logan 27:36  

Yeah, so that becomes a (inaudible) sign.

Angie Hawkins 27:39  

And it becomes very apparent, very fast, and that's actually helpful information for you. So boundaries are so powerful in so many ways.

Lesley Logan 27:48  

I do it's really interesting, because some people are like, oh, you're so rigid. I'm like, I'm I'm not rigid. Actually, I just don't, just don't do things on your timeline. I do things on my timeline, and that's okay, because I also don't have expectations that you do things on my timeline, you know, like, but there is a Venn diagram where our timelines will align if it's meant to be together, you know.

Angie Hawkins 28:11  

But you probably also have a lot of people who respect how self-respecting you are of yourself, because I got to the point where this happened a lot at work, people would compliment me on my boundaries. And I was like, me, like someone who used to not have boundaries? So a lot of people will actually respect you for having boundaries.

Lesley Logan 28:29  

They totally do, and also like and if they don't, or they're upset about like, I'm like, oh, why is this person getting so upset about the fact that I just I cannot do a call before 9am because you want to know what I'm going to forget it's there, because I don't have to work before 9am so if on a day I have to work before 9am there are three people reminding me that I've got a call at eight because I'll just go, yeah, yeah, you told me. You told me, and it's like good to do. So, like, it's more out of like, my habit is I don't so then I don't have to remember anything extra. But I do, I do, I do think that these things reveal things about people. And it reveals, like, are we gonna work together? Well, you know, like, and I, I do. I do hope people respect my respect that I have so much, such good, grounded boundaries and and also, like, it's because I used to, like you, always have none. And I used to chase, like, if anyone would invite me, I would just go, okay, I'm coming over. Yeah, I'm spending the night. How many nights I'll stay? I'll stay all the nights you want. Like, I wouldn't go home for like, a week. My parents were just like, okay, you know, because, like, I was having so much fun, but also, like, I wasn't actually doing anything for me. I was doing whatever we wanted to do it there, you know. So I all the way until when I got a job. Oh my gosh, Angie, I would get every job I had that was not for myself, I would just keep getting promoted, and I would just say, yes, that's like, the lack of boundaries. Like, okay, yeah, I'll take on that job that I have no idea how to do. No problem. I got it. I'll do it. And like, and you had to quit my job so they wouldn't promote me again, because I couldn't trust myself to turn it down because I needed the money. So it was like, I needed the money. The promotion came with a raise. And also, also, they're like, well, Lesley will always do 150% so she'll just do more than this is being paid for anyways, and, like, so I just, it took me a lot. It took me, like, literally having to quit my job. So I wouldn't say that.

Angie Hawkins 30:16  

Yeah, and that's why I got really disgruntled with corporate America, because it's, it's like a dysfunctional family, like they will promote the people who have zero boundaries, because they can take advantage of them, amongst other things. 

Lesley Logan 30:29  

Yes, and I also don't even think it's a conscious decision. They're just like, oh, this person does so much. Why wouldn't we want them to do more? So okay, but we do have a lot of people who don't get to quit their job and become an inner glow coach. So like, if, if people want to work on their inner glow, but then have to, like, work within corporate America. Like, is there hope for them? Can they do it?

Angie Hawkins 30:50  

I think it depends on the situation. Like, I wish I could say that I just, like, had so much courage and just, you know, wildly, went out on my own. But even after I had the idea that I wanted to quit and start my own business, I still had to have the universe kick me in the butt, because I was transferred to this team, and I basically had a bully as a manager, and it got so bad that I couldn't stand it. And I was like, okay, this is my sign to leave. I think if something is that toxic, your choices are limited, however, like I've been in other situations that were not that toxic, and I do think you can navigate them again, like by having strong boundaries is huge, but having a strong sense of yourself so that they're not taking advantage of you and walking all over you.

Lesley Logan 31:37  

Yeah, I think, like when you do have strong boundaries, you can recognize that in a company. So if you're like interviewing, you can start to recognize, like, the signs that their boundaries are, you know, that they're like, I had someone, I took a breath work course, and they said there are space makers and there are space takers, and nothing that neither is wrong. But can we all agree, space makers, that you can raise your hand first and space takers, if they ask more of you, it doesn't mean that they're assholes. You just have to say, no. 

Angie Hawkins 32:07  

Yeah and because sometimes it is unintentional. 

Lesley Logan 32:10  

Yeah, I do think so. I think they're just asking. Like, there are people who, like, are good questioners, like, I'm not that person, and they'll just ask. I'm like, oh my god, they just asked that person to write their bio, you know. But like, they're just asking, and, like, it requires other person to go, oh, I actually, I review bios, but I don't write them, you know. So, you know, like, yeah, we have to. I think where people struggle is that they they figure out their boundaries, and maybe you can help with this, they figure what their boundaries are, and then they have to reinforce them, because, unfortunately, there isn't like, like, a rules sheet when you enter this, like, when you enter a call with me, there's not like, here are all the rules I have, right? Like, the rules of engagement. That's not how life works. You're going to be out and about, you're going to run into people, you're gonna be at a grocery store, you're gonna be at a job interview. So, like, how do people like is, how did you navigate having to enforce your boundaries after you got, like, after the pendulum swung all the way and you're like, no, like, how did you like one in the middle to like, enforce boundaries without feeling like you're constantly enforcing your boundaries?

Angie Hawkins 33:11  

That's a really good question, because the hardest part of boundaries is not setting them, it's enforcing them, because there are people who will intentionally try to walk all over you and try to encroach your boundaries, but to your point earlier, people will unintentionally, like, you know, just try to inch up on them, and you have to be stern on enforcing them. And it could be, and again, it depends on the situation, but it could escalate to the point where it's like, I can no longer talk to you if you'll continue to disrespect my no, I mean that but with enforcing boundaries, not only do you have to state the consequence, you have to be willing to enforce the consequence if they do encroach your boundary again. So it can be difficult, and there have been people in my life that I've had to cut off communication with for that reason, but like in the long run, it makes my mental health so much better, because you don't have that person sucking up your energy anymore.

Lesley Logan 34:14  

Yeah, yeah, I agree. And also, thank God for technology, because it's so easy to block and bless you can block phone numbers, you can block emails. You can block socials. Like, you can also add them at the time, that's right. But like, you can protect your energy. 

Angie Hawkins 34:27  

Yeah, that's true. 

Lesley Logan 34:28  

I probably should ask you this earlier. But like, can we talk about what inner glow looks like? What it means, like, what is it like? You know, obviously, as we heard your journey, like, you know, obviously, pre the earnest time, maybe no inner glow, but like, what is, what does it mean when we have inner glow? Like, how do we know if we have it?

Angie Hawkins 34:47  

Well, so the reason I came up with the name Inner Glow is because when I truly started believing like that I loved myself, that I deserved to be loved, and I respected myself, and I believed that I deserve that from other people, it was truly a sensation of in my chest, like it felt like the sun was glowing, like it was like, maybe I can explain it as, like an energetic feeling from the inside out, yeah. But on top of that, I would have other people tell me, like, oh, you're glowing or some people would even just compliment my looks in that like, oh, you look so beautiful. Blah, blah, blah. But I think they were really talking about the reflection of my energy. So the inner glow is radiating in your own love and respect, so much that it's actually radiating to people outside of you. So not only do they see it, but they can be inspired by it, and it's this ripple effect, because I'm of the mindset that you're either contributing to the negative vibration of the universe, because there's plenty of that going on right now, or you're contributing to raising the vibration of the universe. So like this ripple effect even extends out to raising the vibration of the entire universe, because you're sending out, because there's so many things going on in this world right now that it's hard for us to impact on an individual level. But, even just sending that energy of love to certain areas of the world actually does make a difference.

Lesley Logan 36:11  

It really, you're, you're so I'm glad we're touching on this, because I think it is. It can even feel like, especially in the time that we're talking, it can feel like, well, what's the point? Like, everything is falling apart. So many people have less than me. I'm barely keeping alive. Most of my listeners at the time we're recording this guys, it's October 23rd 2025, and the you know if you're listening to the States, government shutdown. People are hearing that their health insurance can go up to 30,000 or 40,000 a year from nine and and like, you could be like, why should I have an inner glow? How do I even think about glowing when like, this is happening outside of my control, and people have less than and it's in you can almost feel like, what's the point? But you're, what you said it, the point is like the world needs more of us to raise the vibrations and affect, even if you affect the three people that are your neighbors and you show them so much love, it does. It does have a domino effect. It does have this like magnetism effect. I do believe that.

Angie Hawkins 37:11  

Yeah, and even if you don't think just being in your own positive light is changing the universe, you can actually just pick someone and send positive energy to that person. And trust me, it makes a difference in that person's life.

Lesley Logan 37:26  

It does. I love that, gosh, Angie, you're so cool. Like, what you're doing is so needed. And I think, like, especially because, you know, I've had, I've heard so many listeners going, I've done this, I've done this. I'm still stuck. I'm still struggling. And I, what I like, I'm gathering from this is like, it's all that outward stuff. It's not, it's not actually going to make the change. It has to be the inner glow. It has to be this inner vibration that you're changing. And that does take time, and it does take a lot of knowing of who you are. And that's a process.

Angie Hawkins 38:01  

yes, but it is 100% worth it, and I am proof of that. 

Lesley Logan 38:05  

And you're like, at this goal, you've got these gorgeous wallpaper that matches your plants in the background, like you're just glowing, so, well, we could talk forever, and we'll probably have to have another conversation in the future, but we're gonna take a brief break and then find out how people can find you, follow you, and work with you. 

Lesley Logan 38:22  

All right. Angie, the Inner Glow Coach, where do you hang out? Obviously, Hawaii. But Can people work with you online? Where should they go? What? What should they grab?

Angie Hawkins 38:30  

Yes, please visit my website. It is runninginslippers.com which is also the name of my book. So there's obviously information on where to buy the book. It's on paperback, Kindle and audiobook, and I do narrate the audio book, but there's also information on my coaching program. My current coaching program is called Shine From the Inside, and I do offer Free 60-Minute Find Your Glow sessions. So we will talk for an hour about whatever you're struggling with, and at the end, I will give recommendations for going forward, because you know, my, me and my coaching program are not for everyone, and I am okay with that. So if we're not a good fit, I know other coaches, I know therapists. I have other resources that I can refer you to. The entire goal of the call is to get you help, because again, I am confident that there are other women struggling in the same way I was, and you do not have to live that life that way. 

Lesley Logan 39:26  

Oh my god, an hour call and, you guys, take advantage, because, you know.

Angie Hawkins 39:31  

Everyone I've done a call with has a breakthrough on that call, because an hour is a long time. 

Lesley Logan 39:36  

Yeah, oh, you're so good. Okay, you have given us a lot already, but we do at the show like to have a little, not a too long didn't listen, but just like a little summary and like an actionable step we can take, because we are high performers who are listening to this podcast. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, what do you have for us? 

Angie Hawkins 39:55  

Number one is to decide, because any meaningful change. Your life comes from a decision, and the reason that is is because if you're not committed, you're going to be in the squishy, washy energy. And that's where you hear people say stuff like, well, I tried and it's not working, or I'm trying, and if you're not committed to something, you're going to quit the second it gets hard, but when you're committed to your decision, then the only choice is to stay on that path and figure out if something isn't working, and then you'll figure out what does. So I know it sounds simplistic, but when you make a decision to do something, you're committed and all in and that's when the real change happens. That's when lasting change happens. Number two is to take action. And I know you talk about this a lot, so I won't dwell on that. But number three, which is in conjunction with taking action, is about your nervous system, because a lot of people think that confidence and courage is about not being afraid, and taking action is about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. So before you take action, you need to prime your nervous system. So an easy way to do that is to just like, sit up straight, breathe. Some people do the Superman pose. What I do if I'm doing something in public, I call it the goddess walk, or the celebrity walk. I will walk into a place like I own it, even if I'm like, a nervous wreck and falling apart on the inside, but it's priming your nervous system to feel the fear and do it anyway, and just overall, your nervous system regulation. Because I used to be the kind of person I would let anxiety and fear just absolutely take over me, but now I have the tools to actually feel safe in my own body while I'm feeling those feelings and knowing that they're not going to consume me and overwhelm me so nervous system regulation and feeling safe in your own body while you're feeling the fear and doing it anyway. 

Lesley Logan 41:50  

Oh my god, I'm obsessed. Okay, I have a fun story for you, and this will be a great way for people to have an example of that goddess walk. So in Cambodia, in our town, in our village, there's, there's a couple street lights now in the city, which is really annoying because I think it's causing more traffic. And people have now decided to have cars instead of motos. I don't know why you'd want to be in a car going 20 miles an hour when you could be in a moto going 25 but that's fine. At any rate, you just have to cross the street. Okay, so I don't know if you ever been to Southeast Asia, but you just have to cross the street. And these went. 

Lesley Logan 42:21  

I have been to Indonesia. 

Lesley Logan 42:22  

Correct. Okay, there, yes. So you have to cross the street and they and you can't, you cannot stop. If you stop, that's when you you fuck it all up, because now the bike was like expecting you to continue going, and they were gonna be right behind you, and now you stopped, and now they have to swerve, but then there's somebody behind so it becomes a domino effect. And when I first went to Cambodia, we were in Phnom Penh, and I saw this, she could have been seven years old, and she had a little kid who I don't know, barely walking in her hand. You guys, this was a five-lane wide on any American street, but probably, like 10-lane wide in Europe, because, like, you know how the streets are really wide in the States. Anyways, she put her hand up and just crossed the street with this little kid, and she just had her hand up, seven years old, and she just crossed. I saw the first time I was in Phnom Penh, I saw this, and I was like, look at that girl. Look at that confidence, right? But when we moved, it to Siem Reap, we do our time there. I channel that girl every time. So when I cross the street, I just throw my arms up and I just walk like it's my fucking street, and you can go around me. And so these women are like, okay, can we go, and I'm like, what we're gonna do is we're gonna open our arms and we're gonna walk and we're gonna own this place. And by the oh my god, by the end, Angie, everyone is just like going.

Angie Hawkins 43:37  

I love that story. I love that. That's a perfect example. 

Lesley Logan 43:41  

Walking. It's like, the Miss Congeniality, like I'm walking here, but like, like, hello, like, open, good vibes. And it's just so funny. And now to be home, and I'm like, oh, I'm just, I have to wait for the light. 

Angie Hawkins 43:53  

Or do you? Maybe you could do that here. 

Lesley Logan 43:59  

It's so fun. It's so fun. But I love that, because you do have to, you said it, I just want to reiterate, people who are you think are confident and courageous, are not without fear. They are truly they did a show. It's showtime. Pep talk, something they're shaking in the boot. You're not like behind the podium. They're all doing it, and you can I just, this is a great, great show, Angie, you're the best. Thank you for helping us find our inner glow. 

Lesley Logan 44:27  

You guys. How are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know. Tag Angie. Tag the Be It Pod. Go get that phone call with her. My goodness, like you're gonna have breakthrough. Who wouldn't want to do that? And, oh, my god, I'm so jealous you're in Hawaii right now. It's got to feel like, like just you're on a beautiful island. Anyways, thank you so much for being our guest today, Angie and everyone, please share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 44:50  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 45:32  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 45:37  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 45:42  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 45:49  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 45:52  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Stop carrying the heavy mental load of solving everyone else’s problems. Lesley Logan reveals the surprising freedom that comes from stepping back as everyone's personal problem solver. From a viral Olympic story featuring Madeline Schizas that showcases the power of empathy, to Vickie McEntire’s incredible $500 community fundraiser, this episode celebrates the wins that happen when we simply root for one another. Lesley also pulls back the curtain on her own journey, sharing the boundaries that are transforming her personal relationships and protecting her peace.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• A teacher going above and beyond to support his student's success.
• Benefits of hosting community-based fitness events for local charities.
• Strategies for identifying when advice is actually being requested.
• Reducing mental pressure by releasing the role of problem solver.

Episode References/Links:

• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions
• The Female Quotient® - https://beitpod.com/madelinechizas

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:48  

Hi, Be It babe. How are you? Oh my god. We're in the middle of April. We did it. We're here. I'm home. I'm back from Europe. I have so much to say about that, but I'll be in a future episode. So it's fuck yeah Friday. So we get really cool about talking about what's going well, what's fun, what, what did we do? Because if we don't celebrate the little things and the big wins, then who, who is right? I mean, actually today's inspiration on the internet, someone is and I, I have so much love for this post, and I also just feel like it helps remind, like, remind us that we're human beings and we can do certain things for people as well. So I mean, obviously, all capacities are different, but let me, let me show the story. So Madeline Schizas asked for an extension to our college assignment and see how our professor responded. So the the post is like, hi, Professor, blah, blah, blah. I'm a student in your sociology course, and I'm wondering if I can get a short extension on this week's reflection. I was competing in the Olympic Games yesterday, and thought the reflection was due Sunday, not Friday. Here is the Canadian Olympic Committee press release to confirm my participation. Thanks for your consideration. So cute, right? Like, by the way, I'd be this girl. This would be me going, I'm at the Olympics, and I have homework too, and here's a proof I'm actually gonna be in the Olympics. But this is how her professor responded. Hi, Madeline. Wow. What a special moment. Yes, in this circumstance, an extension is perfectly fine. I'd say focus on the competition right now and submit it directly to me when it's done. The triple, let's triple toe combo is a pretty hard move to master, but you've got this. Good luck. The whole country is rooting for you and your teammates. PS, when I was 10, I scored a goal in hockey, and that was challenging enough for me. And then there's another picture. He created an Instagram account just so he could post a picture of him watching her compete. I mean, the world needs more teachers like this now and then she she posted this, and she also shares, like, Wow, I can't believe everyone cared so much. I gotta get the extension. And so, so I just think it's so I just think that's so sweet and so special. And like, what a cool professor, not just to, like, give the extension, because, of course, that's what they would do. Like, that's the right thing to do, but also to be like, here I'm rooting for you like that's we all need teachers like that, and I know we have a lot of different types of teachers who watch and listen to this pod. And you're probably like that for someone else, and you might not even know it, but you you are. And so thanks for being here. Thanks for listening. 

Lesley Logan 3:15  

Okay, your win. This one comes from Vickie McEntire. So here's my win this week. Hell, this month, I hosted a Joe's gym to raise money for the local food pantry, and we brought in $500 we had fun, we played, we practiced. Heck, $500 for that's a huge donation for them. That's amazing. Way to go. Vickie, way to make it a community event. Way to make it fun. Way to make everyone wins there, right? Like everyone you, you get to have that achievement that you did this for them. They get to feel good because they gave money to them. Together, you guys gave a lot of money, and you all got to do Pilates. I love that. Thank you for sharing. You all should send your wins in to beitpod.com/questions so I can celebrate your wins here, and you can be reminded of the amazing things that you do. 

Lesley Logan 3:58  

So all right, here's the deal. I'm a recovering perfectionist and overachiever, and I have a really hard time sometimes, like turning the brain off. And I was given a suggestion that I don't have to in all conversations, help people with a problem, they have, meaning if they're not putting a question mark on the statement, I don't have to give them an answer, and so then maybe I wouldn't feel so pressured to be on calls in regular life. I'm not talking about work life, I'm talking about regular life, not the coaching calls, but regular life. Maybe I wouldn't feel the pressure to be on the call, because I'm not there to be anything other than, oh, wow, I'm sure you'll figure that out. Right? Like, I don't have to give advice, and then if my advice isn't taken, I don't feel frustrated that, like I gave you all this advice and you didn't take it. So I feel feel really good about that. And so I've been practicing that. Like, if they're not asking me for advice. I don't have to be the advice giver. What a world. I didn't know that that was a thing. I mean, not that I go around just like giving people unsolicited advice. It's not what I do. But I kind of have become that friend and family member who like, does that like I think people just assume I will. And so maybe they're not even putting question marks on it. And so now it's like, unless you put a question mark on it, I'm not gonna. I'm trying really hard to just go, oh, how interesting. 

Lesley Logan 5:29  

Okay, we it's one week in the body and the brain, and so it will take time. So what I'm gonna say right now is, what a load off. It already feels like a win, and it's only a load off and a week and, I mean, we'll see how things go as they progress. But I just want to share that with you, because, in case you're like me, and you are avoiding phone calls, not that I'm saying you're going to answer the phone calls. I'm not saying you do that. That's a different win, but you're avoiding the phone calls because you're like, Oh, they're gonna just not take the advice I have. I guess the moral of the story is, like, we don't have to give it, and that's the win. All right, Be It babe, you're amazing. I hope that made sense to you. I mean, since like attracts like, I think it might have. 

Lesley Logan 6:11  

Okay. Your mantra for the week. I am still learning, so it's okay to make mistakes. I am still learning so it is okay to make mistakes. We are still learning, so it's totally okay for us to make mistakes, because it is. You're amazing. Go share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Help this podcast get even bigger and a bigger audience, because the more Be It babes, the easier it is to be around people who are acting like the people that they want to be, so that they become that person today, instead of waiting. Yes, that's what we're here for. Have an amazing day. Till next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 6:45  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 7:28  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 7:33  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 7:37  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 7:44  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 7:47  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell dive into the highlights of Lesley’s conversation with Billy Lahr, a Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher with a background in education and behavior change. They explore his perspective on comfort zones, breaking down the difference between being comfortable and becoming complacent, and why growth doesn’t have to come from constant discomfort. From the importance of healthcare directives to the permission gap that keeps women selfless to a fault, this episode challenges you to take a more intentional approach to how you live and show up.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Making healthcare decisions in advance using a free online resource.
• How to stretch one's comfort zone to avoid the complacency zone.
• The power of closing the permission gap to stop burnout.
• Why self-prioritization is the key to a grounded, centered life.
• How to leverage curiosity and consistency to build genuine passion.

Episode References/Links:

• FreeWill - freewill.com
• OPC Spring Training (Virtual Event) - opc.me/events   
• 2027 eLevate Mentorship Program - lesleylogan.co/elevate
• Pilates Summer Tour - opc.me/tour
• Folding Pilates Mat - opc.me/foldingmat
• Mindful Midlife Crisis - https://www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com
• Billy Lahr Official Website - https://billylahr.com
• Jump Start Conversation - https://mindfulmidlifecrisis.systeme.io/jumpstartconvo
• Submit Your Questions - beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell 0:00  

He's saying we think that when we're selfless, we're quote, unquote correct or right, and then when we are selfish, we're wrong. And what he was saying is, like, those are both actual extremes. Yeah, you know, what if we were grounded or self-centered? Or what if we focus about centered self, not like, in a negative way, but like, how do we—

Lesley Logan 0:23  

I know so—

Brad Crowell 0:24  

How can we be both of those things instead of like, one or the other? 

Lesley Logan 0:28  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Brad Crowell 1:10  

Take it away there, Lesley.

Lesley Logan 1:13  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the thought-provoking convo I had with Billy Lhar in our last episode. 

Brad Crowell 1:21  

Yeah, we are. 

Lesley Logan 1:22  

If you haven't listened to that interview, you should, you could pause this now and hear what I sound like, not with a sinus infection. And then, if you're new, you'll be like, this girl's voice sucks. I can't stand it. And then you'll stick it out. 

Brad Crowell 1:33  

Yeah. 

Lesley Logan 1:34  

You'll stick it out. 

Brad Crowell 1:34  

Stick it out. You will— 

Lesley Logan 1:35  

I promise you—

Brad Crowell 1:36  

You'll do that we believe in you. 

Lesley Logan 1:38  

I promise you, this is not this, too shall pass. What if someone's like, oh, my God, I loved her voice when she had the science affection, and now, when it's gone, like, ugh. 

Lesley Logan 1:50  

Well, today is April 16, 2026 and it's National Healthcare Decisions Day. Huh? Interesting. Let's see where this goes.

Brad Crowell 1:58  

(Laughs)

Lesley Logan 1:59  

This day is observed every year on April 16, the day after tax day interesting as well. Are you aware that there are times you might need to make some decisions about your health care, but be incapacitated to make them? Oh, this is an interesting okay, I thought I felt like the health insurance companies, but this is about us—

Brad Crowell 2:13  

No. 

Lesley Logan 2:14  

This is—

Brad Crowell 2:14  

This is about in personal health care decisions that we can make. 

Lesley Logan 2:17  

This day is set aside to help you take care of those potential situations ahead of time is a day for patients or healthcare receivers to make known to health professionals the kind of adequate care they wish to receive and have those wishes respected and met. Well, whether they'll be respected and met, are different stories in the United States healthcare situation, but I do agree we Brad and I are supposed to have sat down his parents are going to annoy us until we do and actually, like, talk about our Do Not Resuscitate stuff and all that. 

Brad Crowell 2:44  

Yeah. It's like, called advanced direction, or something—

Lesley Logan 2:47  

Directive?

Brad Crowell 2:48  

Direct, yeah, Advanced Directive. Maybe that's it. Yeah. So we've been on a healthcare tour, and we've been— 

Lesley Logan 2:53  

We are using the insurance we pay for. 

Brad Crowell 2:57  

We absolutely are—

Lesley Logan 2:58  

We are annoying the hell out of them. We are going to use every benefit they say we pay for. 

Brad Crowell 3:03  

Well, it's also not like a fast, quick decision. We started doing this, like, I don't know, 18 months ago? 

Lesley Logan 3:09  

Oh yeah, it says it's taken you 18 months to get the results you got today. 

Brad Crowell 3:13  

I'm not even kidding, it's insane to me. 

Lesley Logan 3:15  

(Laughs) There's nothing wrong with you. 

Brad Crowell 3:15  

Yeah, they were like, hey, everything's good up there. Your brain. I'm like, well, that makes me feel good, but what the heck it took that long anyway? Yeah, it's been a it's been a whirlwind, and we've been learning a lot of things. Just like you have a last will and testament, you also need to have something called an, I'm looking up now to get the exact phrasing of it. But like, what the last will test—

Lesley Logan 3:40  

You have to do it when you, like, do surgeries and stuff like that. So you have to, you should talk with your partners and your families about your wishes. 

Brad Crowell 3:46  

Yeah, it's called a living will, or an Advanced Directive. It's a legal document for healthcare that outlines your treatment preferences if you become incapacitated— 

Lesley Logan 3:56  

Oh, I, let me just tell you, you guys want to go on a journey. Because I remember, I remember, oh, my God, what was her name? It's not in my head, because I'm on Dayquil, but when I grew up, I remember she was on the cover of every tabloid magazine, and her husband was made out to be this big villain because he wanted to pull the plug. 

Brad Crowell 4:14  

Oh, in Florida, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 4:17  

Oh, you guys want to, okay, you're listening to a podcast. Go to the You're Wrong About Series. Go all the way back to the beginning. They have what is that woman's Sherry? Sherry. It's coming. Tyvo. Sherry Tyvo. Sherry Livo? Sherry—

Brad Crowell 4:33  

Tyvan? 

Lesley Logan 4:33  

No, Sherry Tyvo 

Brad Crowell 4:37  

Coma case.

Lesley Logan 4:38  

In Florida in the 90s.

Brad Crowell 4:43  

Terry. T Y—

Lesley Logan 4:44  

Terri Schiavo! 

Brad Crowell 4:45  

Schiavo. 

Lesley Logan 4:46  

Not I had, oh my God!

Brad Crowell 4:47  

You did. You had it backwards. 

Lesley Logan 4:48  

Woah! I had Sherry Tyvo. 

Brad Crowell 4:50  

(Inaudible)

Lesley Logan 4:50  

And it's Terri Schiavo. You guys, the more Adderall I am, the more dislikes like I think I am. I think it's just showing that I am okay. So, Terri Schiavo, her, go listen to You're Wrong About. That husband was not the villain that the tabloids made him out to be, and her family made it out to be, and then the Bush Administration got involved, became this whole Supreme Court thing. And let me just tell you, they, people in this country will keep you on life support against your will. It happened to the black woman Atlanta who was forced to stay, this happened in the last year. Her family was forced to keep her on life support because she was six months pregnant. Then they made her stay on life support until the baby was viable, to live without her at the time we're recording this, that baby is still in the NICU cannot survive on its own. So we need laws that protect people, and then we need advanced directives, because what we don't want is the government getting involved. That's what you don't want. I mean that this is not a very uplifting conversation. So go (Laughs)

Brad Crowell 5:52  

Let's, let's, let's shift back to how we can take care of this for yourself, like today's about making a decision for yourself. So there's a couple different things that you can do. You can, you know, if you have been meaning to make that doctor's appointment, just do it today's the day do it. Set aside a little bit of time today to, like, actually get the ball rolling. Because the problem, like, I know what the problem is. The problem is that it never is fast. You call, it's freaking voicemail. Like, like, nothing seems to flow. And so you have to call back 10 times. I literally had to drive across the street to this doctor's office two times to schedule my fucking appointment. It's insane. So I understand how frustrating that can be, but if you don't start now, it will never happen. 

Lesley Logan 6:33  

Well, you won't have you won't have the team in place when you need them. And I will say, like in our journey of making sure that we have a team of healthcare professionals that are local, I have been able to find doctors that actually give a fuck, like my my gynecologist, who does my my hormone treatment in Vegas. She gives such a fuck that I have a breast doctor. That breast doctor has me on an MRI next week, and then in six months, I'm mammogram, and that's where I'm at until and then she'll and then she's gonna get me to the plastic surgeon to talk about my options. Like they will help advocate for you if you really do advocate for yourself. Like I found, like, it's kind of amazing when you get into it. Now, do I have what I complained when I said, I hate this imaging place. She's like, just drive there and make the appointment. It's faster. And I was like, are you kidding me? But it is. She's like, it's just fast, it's just the way it has to go. I know in the year of our Lord 2026, but it is what it is. And here's another trick for your doctor's office. Call billing, billing. Billing always answers. 

Brad Crowell 7:32  

Billing always answers. 

Lesley Logan 7:33  

So my gynecologist, before I leave. I always say, when you want to see me again, because I'm just gonna book it on my way out, because that's the best thing. And she's like, it is the best thing. I said, oh, you want to what the other hack is, it's just like, is? And she's like, what I said, my assistant calls billing, they always answer. And she goes, oh my God. She's like, you are crazy, but she loves me. So what I highly recommend take the steps it becomes, it's like, part of your adulting life. Pick an hour every week to do adulting, and you'll be glad you did, because things will happen and you're not going to want to be up the creek without a paddle. 

Brad Crowell 8:02  

Yeah, you're not going to be up the Advanced Health Care Directive without a paddle. I was just poking around, and there is a very interesting free service provider that will do Last Will and Testament, Revocable Living Trust, Advanced Health Care Directive, Power of Attorney, and it's called freewill.com. 

Lesley Logan 8:24  

That's crazy. 

Brad Crowell 8:25  

They do not sponsor us, but I think it's pretty amazing. And they actually have, I was just poking around, they actually have, like, a guided for last will and testament. They have a guided will maker that covers all 50 states. 

Lesley Logan 8:37  

You know who I need to interview. I interview a will maker. How do we be it till we see it in this Advanced Directive? Like— 

Brad Crowell 8:43  

That'll be cool. 

Lesley Logan 8:43  

What is that like? What are all the things I need to know? What should be in my will? Who should not be in my will? You know all that stuff.

Brad Crowell 8:50  

And well. And then FreeWill also has for the advanced directive of healthcare stuff. They have a free one that's also guided through all the all the states. So they, they seem to have their shit together. They're actually funded by— 

Lesley Logan 9:00  

If you're in a different country I have no idea how to help you there, but—

Brad Crowell 9:02  

They're funded by a nonprofit or a charity, so they're totally free, pretty crazy. 

Lesley Logan 9:06  

Wow. 

Brad Crowell 9:06  

Yeah. 

Lesley Logan 9:07  

Okay. The skeptic in me is like, who is funding this? 

Brad Crowell 9:10  

(Laughs) 

Lesley Logan 9:10  

The Peter Thiel—

Brad Crowell 9:11  

Yeah, right? 

Lesley Logan 9:12  

(Laughs)

Brad Crowell 9:13  

About FreeWill, who we are— 

Lesley Logan 9:15  

This is really what they're interested in. They're like, dying to know. 

Brad Crowell 9:18  

Yeah, right? 

Lesley Logan 9:18  

But you have to look up these things, because there is a nonprofit organization that's about, like, like, it sounds like it's about keeping kids from being online too early, but really, it's actually owned by meta, and their whole thing is to get your kids information early, and so they can, I know, so you gotta, you gotta look at these things you don't know. Now, I sound like a tin hat person, but you gotta look. 

Brad Crowell 9:41  

Yeah, so they have nonprofit partners. It doesn't. It's not really that clear, but—

Lesley Logan 9:45  

Use it your own risk. 

Brad Crowell 9:46  

We'll figure that out. You know.

Lesley Logan 9:47  

You, you know, be thoughtful. All right. Well, that's that at least gives you an actual step to be it till you see it in your advanced directive. And I know it comes after tax day. And look, no one likes taxes. But the reality is, is, if you vote in your primaries for the people that you think will to put your tax dollars to work the way you want. You have a better chance of getting that in the major part in November. So go vote. Primaries are happening all over the place right now as we speak, and so please go take care of that. Okay. 

Brad Crowell 10:17  

1,000% 

Lesley Logan 10:18  

Yes! 

Lesley Logan 10:19  

So important.

Lesley Logan 10:19  

 I know. 

Brad Crowell 10:20  

All right, let's shift gears here. So coming up next, we got spring training happening in May, May 12 through 17th. So if you want to do Pilates at home, we're going to be going upside down in a bunch of different ways, with some really fun classes led by all the OPC team. And if you want information about that, it's probably already available for you to jump into— 

Lesley Logan 10:39  

Oh yeah, you can sign up right now.

Brad Crowell 10:40  

But go to opc.me/events, opc.me/events. Also eLevate 2027 we have only a few spots left. I think it's possible that they're already sold out. But if you were really interested in a deep dive of classical Pilates with Lesley, it's a nine month mentorship program for certified Pilates teachers. We're going to be kicking it off in January next year. Learn more about that at lesleylogan.co/elevate. Lesleylogan.co/elevate. And you and I can hop on a call. We'd love to explain more about it with you. And then finally, we have summer tour coming up. 

Lesley Logan 11:14  

I know that's so crazy. It's going it's a fast. 

Brad Crowell 11:16  

it's a bit ahead of schedule here. That's in August. 

Lesley Logan 11:19  

If it's in August, we open the doors in May. 

Brad Crowell 11:21  

So that's exciting. We can't wait. It's gonna be awesome this year. We have a different route. I was just reviewing it with the team. We're going to be going, like, directly across the country, straight across all the way to Tennessee and back. So we're doing, like, a big, long oval in the middle of the country, hitting—

Lesley Logan 11:35  

We're not going to go up into the Michigan?

Brad Crowell 11:37  

We're not I was, I was—

Lesley Logan 11:39  

We lied to everybody. 

Brad Crowell 11:40  

We lied to everyone last week and the week and the week before. Yeah, 100% we are hitting Dallas, though we're gonna catch that on the way back. 

Lesley Logan 11:46  

Okay, I feel like a little sad for our Chicago Michiganders, you know. 

Brad Crowell 11:52  

Yeah, I definitely—

Brad Crowell 11:53  

All those people. 

Brad Crowell 11:54  

Well, we were just there in September in Chicago.

Lesley Logan 11:56  

I know, but it's not. We weren't in Minneapolis. 

Brad Crowell 11:59  

We will work it out. We'll work it out. But this tour is going across the country, and, yeah, but, but come join us if you're able to, you know, find out all the information at opc.me/tour. 

Lesley Logan 12:08  

I'm really excited! I realize I didn't sound as excited as I am. I'm just, I like, I had it in my head that we were, like, doing the middle, and we're doing a different middle. 

Lesley Logan 12:18  

We are doing the middle.

Lesley Logan 12:19  

 It wasn't clear. I wasn't clear— 

Brad Crowell 12:20  

Yeah it's a different middle—

Lesley Logan 12:21  

I manifested the wrong oval. 

Brad Crowell 12:23  

(Laughs)

Lesley Logan 12:23  

Okay, noted for next time. Well, before we get into the episode, what is the question of the week? 

Lesley Logan 12:30  

Yeah, so, okay, this is from advocate_pilates on Instagram. She asked, Hey, Lesley, what mat do you use? Does it have good grip, and do you use it for Mat Pilates? Yeah, yeah. So I don't I have a mat that's just for Pilates, and I have a mat that's for yoga, and that's intentional. They are two different practices. They require two different needs. So I use a contrology mat for Pilates. It has a firm density, which doesn't mean it's hard as a rock. It's actually quite great for when you roll on it, you don't have to worry about, like, touching the floor or anything like that, but it's firm enough to do plank so your wrists don't have any issues, and shoulders have any issues. And we have an incredible affiliate link that you can use to get a discount on that mat as handles. 

Brad Crowell 13:11  

It's opc.me/foldingmat, foldingmat. 

Lesley Logan 13:16  

And as far as, like, good grip, I'm imagining you mean on the floor. And so what I would say is, like, I you probably would put a pad down if you had hardwood floors, because there is, like, some metal on the bottom that you don't want to scratch your hardwood floors, and that would keep it from sliding around. Pretty much any mat. You should all be mindful of stepping on mats on hardwood floors, because a lot of mats will slip around. So even if they have good grip with your skin. They always have good grip on the hardwood floors. We have tile and we have a rug. So it doesn't slide around on our tile. It doesn't slide around our rugs. It is a heavy duty. 

Brad Crowell 13:49  

I mean, it's, it weighs like, you know, 20 pounds. 

Brad Crowell 13:52  

Oh, yeah. 

Brad Crowell 13:53  

It's not light, yeah. It's not like a, it's not a, this is not a yoga mat.

Lesley Logan 13:56  

No, no, no. So Dan, so I it is an investment. But to me, your mat practice is something you're going to do forever, and it's something, well, this mat, you'll buy one, and you'll have it forever, and there's that. So that's what's really great. Versus my yoga mat.

Brad Crowell 14:09  

Buy one get that one forever,

Lesley Logan 14:11  

Get one forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Versus my yoga mats that I inevitably have to replace even every 10 years because they start to just fall apart, Yep, yeah.

Brad Crowell 14:21  

Well, if you have a question, ping us. Let us know. Send us a text. 310-905-5534, or, you know, and easier is go to be it pod.com/questions we can leave us either a win or a question. We are looking forward to getting those from you so we can celebrate your wins on Fuck Yeah Friday, fuck yeah. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna start chatting about Billy Lhar.

Brad Crowell 14:46  

All right, let's talk about Billy Lahr. Billy is the creator and host of the Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast and a Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher with a background in education and behavior change. He spent over two decades working in education, including Leadership roles before stepping away in 2021 since then, Billy's focused on coaching and consulting while living and working internationally. Definitely describes himself as a nomad. He also facilitates the Jump Start, Jump Start Conversation Series, a free weekly conversation space that's relaxed and collaborative, where coaches often join to connect with peers and share perspectives without the pressure of performing. We're gonna put the link for that in the signup notes below. So if you're interested in that, if that's something that you know you want, like a support group kind of vibe or just a hangout community, sesh, you know, go check that out.

Lesley Logan 15:31  

Yeah, I think this is really fun. I love that. He said he's not a fan of getting out of your comfort zone to grow. I think that's great. It's like— 

Brad Crowell 15:40  

He said, fuck that. I've been working hard to get into my comfort zone.

Lesley Logan 15:42  

Yeah, I resonate with that. Because, like, so many of us are, like, trying to figure out who we are. And so, like, it's kind of hard to, like, figure who you are and then get out of your comfort zone if you don't who you are. And but he said to be cautious when we get into the complacency zone. 

Brad Crowell 15:56  

Yeah, I thought that was a cool term—

Lesley Logan 15:57  

I think that's, I think that that's really, we see that happen all the time with people who teach Pilates, like, sometimes they just get like, they're just like, going through the motions. And, you know, they it's not that they lost their zest for it, but something kind of happened along the way. Maybe they were restricted in too many ways, and they're just like, okay, I'm just gonna do this. But there's no it's okay to be in your comfort zone. Just notice, if you're in your complacency zone, what a great thing. He also suggested, like expanding your life from within, rather than forcing yourself into discomfort from the outside. And I mean, I think, look, here's the deal. We do understand that, like diamonds are made from pressure, and stressing your bones is how you make healthy bones, and stressing your muscles is how you make healthy muscles, like all that stuff is very, very true, but I do think that some people are constant, like, like, they're constantly putting themselves into experiences that maybe is too much, that they're going like, you're doing too much working out, or you're doing too much stress on the bones, and so you're never actually reaping the rewards and the benefits of those things. And so he actually likened it to you you stretch your comfort zone, like pizza dough from the inside. 

Brad Crowell 17:04  

Yeah, I thought that was really interesting. I like the vision, he said. He said, Only heathens pull your pizza dough. You have to press it from the middle. You got to press it from the inside to expand your pizza dough.

Lesley Logan 17:14  

Yeah, that's why. But I think that just goes—

Brad Crowell 17:16  

Before we got talking with pizza zone. I want to just define complacency zone, because, you know, comfort zone versus complacency zone, Comfort, he's his argument is that it's okay to be in your comfort zone, but you can get complacent once you get there. And I look, I was just thinking about it, it's like a stagnant place. It's where you're stuck, you know, and you're you're also, it's not just that you're stuck, but you're also, like, unwilling to change. You are resisting change, right? And you're relying on familiar, outdated routines. So, you know, I think that there's definitely a difference between being in the comfort zone and being in a complacency zone. But I do like this the analogy of, like, stretching like a pizza dough, you know?

Lesley Logan 17:54  

Yeah, I do too. Pilate is all about moving from your center outward. And I also think, like, sometimes people are easy to just go, Well, I'm just gonna change the outside. I'm gonna change from the outside in versus the inside out. 

Brad Crowell 18:05  

Yeah. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 18:06  

Because a lot of the things you get marketed to are, like, outside, exterior, like, you know, what do you call it? Like external things or physical things? It's not necessarily like getting to know who you are. And so I think that there's something about, you know, it's not, I don't think he's advocating that you just like, sit around in your comfy couch and just like, chill out. But I do think it goes back to like, how we coach studios, like, we want your business to be a little boring, not that you're complacent, but that it's predictable, right? That that it's okay to be in a comfortable place with your business, that it's predictable in its seasons, you'll still have to keep learning. There'll still be new tools to know. There's still going to be things out there that are going to stress you in a different way, but you don't have to find new ways to challenge yourself and get outside your comfort zone all the time. You can. You can actually have some predictability there, as long as you're not complacent. I like it.

Brad Crowell 18:53  

Yeah. So, you know, when he was talking about pushing back against negative, this idea of being selfish, I was laughing so hard, because we've been talking about this for a long time, that self-care isn't selfish, and I really loved that we're not the only one talking about it. He said, there's not necessarily something wrong with being selfish if you've been overly selfless, right? Like, because I think we get into this, you two are really digging in, you know? And he's saying, you know, we, we think that when we're selfless, we're quote, unquote correct or right, and then when we are selfish, we're wrong, right. And what he was saying is, like, those are both actual extremes. Yeah, you know, what if we were grounded or self centered? Or, what if we focus about centered self, not like, in a negative way, but like, how do we— 

Lesley Logan 19:49  

I know, so—

Brad Crowell 19:50  

How can we be both of those things instead of like, one or the other?

Lesley Logan 19:53  

I know, I think, like, because self centered has such a negative connotation, but like, a centered self is, like, whelmed, right? Like—

Lesley Logan 19:59  

Yeah. 

Lesley Logan 20:00  

So if, like, selfless and self-ish are overwhelmed and underwhelmed, right, then centered self would be whelmed, right?

Brad Crowell 20:07  

It'd be right in the middle and and that allows you to protect yourself, you know, to put yourself first in some situations and then in others still, of course, you know, serve others, and that's good. But—

Lesley Logan 20:20  

We have, we have a series coming out about like, giving yourself permission to become whatever it is that you want to be. And there's actually, like, this term called the permission gap that I get into in the episode series that I created. And it's actually all because the way society is is it raises women to feel that they are selfish if they prioritize themselves first, yeah, and so they must care for everyone else's needs ahead of their own, and then they can care for themselves. But there's no time after doing all that—

Brad Crowell 20:49  

That's, that's just illogical. It's not sustainable. 

Lesley Logan 20:52  

Right. 

Brad Crowell 20:53  

What, what ends up happening is, you're burnt out? 

Lesley Logan 20:55  

Yeah. 

Brad Crowell 20:55  

Yeah. 

Brad Crowell 20:55  

There's a reason why. Like, speaking of Healthcare Advocacy Day, there is a reason why you can actually pay for some way that your health insurance pays someone to take care of you, because it is impossible for someone, or most people, in your life, to take off of work to care for you. There's a reason why we have home health aides, right? Because we—

Brad Crowell 21:15  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 21:15  

We do live in a world where like you can't just like care for other people all the time at the expense of your own self?

Brad Crowell 21:22  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the that's the key. That's true. Well, you know, anyway, I just thought they were great topics. So stick around. We'll be right back. We got some really fun BE IT action items from Billy Lhar as well. So we'll be right back.

Brad Crowell 21:36  

Alright, so finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Billy Lhar. He said he rejects the standard social question of, like, what do you do? And I found this really intriguing, because I love that what do you do is an open ended question, and I'm always interested, I asked that's exactly the question that I ask, what do you do? Because what people how they respond to that question tells me a lot, because when they turn around and say, what do I do? I say, I sleep a lot, or I play video games or, you know, but what they're implying with the question is, what do you do for work? So that's kind of interesting to me, but I loved that he like, he's like, no, screw that. Because people always answer with what do they do for work, which is, is boring. And I thought that was—

Lesley Logan 22:22  

Not what I do for work, but, you know, but other people are boring. (Laughs)

Brad Crowell 22:26  

No, but he. here's the thing, effectively, he doesn't want to talk about what he does for work, because he said, he said, I was an English teacher. That's boring, you know. So, you know, what he started doing instead was asking people different questions, and he said they often were like, like shocking or eye opening, or like, whoa, you're we don't even know each other, and you're asking me this kind of question. And he said he the question he likes to leave with is, what are 10 roles that you play in your life, 10 roles that you play in your life, right?

Lesley Logan 22:56  

Yeah, yeah. I think I would make it three. I feel like I don't want to sit there long enough (inaudible)—

Brad Crowell 23:01  

First five are always the same. What are your 10 roles? I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a husband. Whatever. He said, It's always that crap. But then once they get through that crap, then they have to tell you something interesting about themselves. What like because they run out of they run out of the obvious things. So then they think about it, and then they have to tell you something. So that's, I think that might be part of why it's 10. He argues that a person's value and interest lie in the various roles that they play outside of those standard things. Like, I'm a paddle boarder. I'm this, I'm a, you know, like, I'm a, I'm a long haul driver for when we go on tour. I'm a I sit behind a booth. I'm a boother. (Laughs)

Lesley Logan 23:44  

(Laughs)

Brad Crowell 23:47  

Just making shit up here. He said, he said, also, you know, it helps, because you're not just one thing in your life, and so it like battles complacency when you're when, when you're engaging people on these other things that they're excited about. So—

Lesley Logan 24:02  

Yeah, I think that's cool, I guess, I guess you're right. You have to go to 10. That's just a big question. If I don't know if I want to talk to that person for that long. 

Brad Crowell 24:10  

Yeah, I feel like that makes sense.

Lesley Logan 24:11  

He's clearly interested in people, and I'm like, I you know, we can go. 

Brad Crowell 24:15  

What about you? 

Lesley Logan 24:16  

I, okay, so he said, follow your passion is complete and utter nonsense. 

Brad Crowell 24:21  

(Laughs)

Lesley Logan 24:21  

I think this is so funny. 

Brad Crowell 24:23  

I liked his logic here. I thought this was pretty awesome actually. 

Lesley Logan 24:26  

He said, and I think this is helpful, because, like, people are always like, what am I passionate about? Like, what's my hobby? Like this—

Brad Crowell 24:31  

Yeah, what should I do? 

Lesley Logan 24:32  

What should I do for like, passion is not a starting point. Passion is a byproduct of this formula. Step one, figure out what you are good at and your strengths. So we have had many a strength finder type coach on here. Oh yeah, so you can go talk to any of them. They are so many. From day one of this podcast, there's been so many. And then he said, jumps he has— 

Brad Crowell 24:54  

He's got a workbook. 

Lesley Logan 24:54  

He's a workhouse, workbook called Jump Start Your Midlife Workbook, and you could take that. So that's part of step one. Got to figure out what you're good at, what are your strengths? Step two, what are you curious about, and how can you leverage those skills and those strengths to learn more? So there's a Venn diagram I'm imagining. This is how I picture it, your skills, your strengths, and what you're curious about. And then dude in the middle, there's like you. And then you take that to find a community. So find people you can connect with, and they'll help you. That will help you identify your purpose. Because even if you don't like them, you'll go, I don't like that. That's not my purpose. And then in then, if you want to turn that purpose into a passion, you just multiply that by consistency, discipline, patience and self-compassion. So then you you put, you know, fuel to that fire.

Brad Crowell 25:38  

Yeah, and I think that he emphasized the last two and that the patience and self-compassion— 

Lesley Logan 25:45  

Oh yeah. 

Brad Crowell 25:45  

So like when you want to turn something that you're good at into your passion, he said, you need to multiply it by consistency, discipline, patience and self-compassion. And he said, most people, we've all heard you know consistency, persistent and consistent, be persistent and consistent, you know, which, which obviously also means discipline. But he said, we always skip the patience and self-compassion part of it. 

Lesley Logan 26:10  

Yeah.

Brad Crowell 26:11  

Because you're gonna fail and it's also not gonna happen overnight, whatever it might be. 

Lesley Logan 26:15  

Yep.

Brad Crowell 26:15  

You know.

Lesley Logan 26:16  

Yep. I agree. I think radical self-compassion is important.

Brad Crowell 26:21  

Radical self-compassion.

Lesley Logan 26:22  

Yes. 

Brad Crowell 26:23  

I dig it.

Lesley Logan 26:23  

Yes. Just like radical responsibility. That's my right, my favorite phrase right now, I want more people to take it. Um, you guys, I'm Lesley Logan and I'm Brad Crowell. This sinus infection will pass and, but not on next week's episode. So just a heads up. We got one more and, but we're working on it. You know we are, and I appreciate your patience and the self-compassion I'm having for myself and the compassion you're having for me. Send his episode, or this one to a friend who needs to hear it. Send your be it pod wins and and your questions into beitpod.com What does it beitpod.com/questions Yeah. Send them there. And until next time, be it till you see it. 

Brad Crowell 26:56  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 26:58  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 27:40  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 27:45  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 27:49  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 27:57  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 28:00  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Brad Crowell 28:13  

All right, let's talk about Billy Lhar. Billy is the creator and host of the Mindfulness, Mindful Midknife (inaudible).

Lesley Logan 28:18  

(Laughs)

Brad Crowell 28:18  

(Inaudible). Starting over.

Forget the cliché advice to "get out" of your comfort zone; digital nomad Billy Lahr reveals why you should actually be working harder to get into it. In this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast, mindfulness coach and former dean joins Lesley Logan to challenge the "hustle culture" obsession with escaping comfort, arguing instead that we must distinguish it from the "complacency zone" by expanding our capacity from the inside out, much like stretching a pizza dough. Billy brings a refreshing, no-nonsense perspective on identity, curiosity, and the importance of maintaining a "centered self."  

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Master the art of curiosity to build deeper human connections. 
• Differentiate between a healthy comfort zone and dangerous complacency. 
• Reclaim your personal identity by identifying your ten life roles.
• Use mindfulness as a practical tool to manage high-intensity anxiety. 
• Turn your unique strengths into a sustainable and purposeful life.

Episode References/Links:

• Mindful Midlife Crisis - https://www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com
• Billy Lahr Official Website - https://billylahr.com
• Billy Lahr Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mindful_midlife_crisis
• Jumpstart Conversation - https://beitpod.com/billylahrjumpstartconvo
• Jumpstart Your Midlife Workbook - https://www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com
• The Selfish Woman Podcast - https://valeriejones.ca/podcast
• Ed Latimore - https://edlatimore.com
• Yoga Ananda Chiang Mai - https://www.yogaananda.net/about-kru-nok
• Gen X Jukebox - https://www.genxjukebox.com

Guest Bio:

Billy Lahr is certified mindfulness meditation coach, certified personal trainer, behavior change specialist, former educator, serial overthinker, and host of The Mindful Midlife Crisis, a podcast for people navigating the complexities and possibilities of life’s second half. In 2013, Billy started practicing mindfulness as a way to manage mounting mental health issues brought on by professional burnout, social media harassment from students, and a lack of job satisfaction. In 2021, Billy left his job as dean of students in order to travel the world in search of more meaningful experiences and community. Since then, he's been a GPS for individuals aiming to live more mindfully and intentionally through recognizing and harnessing their strengths, exploring their curiosities, growing and synergizing with their network by fostering consistency, discipline, patience, and self-compassion.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Billy Lahr 0:00  

I'll tell you that the conversations that I've had with digital nomads is that being a nomad is incredibly lonely and isolating, because what you're doing is a lot of times, because it's such a transient community, is you're building these superficial relationships and people come and go out of your life. And I can tell you, just from my own personal experience, that a lot of that has exacerbated this feeling of isolation and loneliness and this longing for a deeper connection.

Lesley Logan 0:31  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 1:13  

All right, Be It babe. I'm really stoked for today's episode we had, I have the most fun talking to Billy Lahr as our guest, and it was really funny. We didn't talk about what he does until halfway through the podcast. And I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to spoil it for you, but we actually talked about comfort zones, and should you stay in them? Should you get out of them? And a whole lot more insights and I just think it's really fun. We talk about curiosity. And so I think you're just going to enjoy all of this. Oh, and the Be It Action Items at the end, fucking fabulous. You'll love them. So here you go. Here's Billy Lahr.

Lesley Logan 1:45  

All right, Be It babe. I'm super excited we have a total, like, true digital nomad as our guest today. Billy Lahr is here, and I kind of am obsessed. Because before I bought a house, and, like, settled in and like, loved being at home, my husband and I used to be nomads. Someone thought like we'll just be nomadic people. So we just dabble in it. But you do it full time. Can you tell us what you rock at and why you why you're a digital nomad?

Billy Lahr 2:11  

I rock at curiosity. I would say that's my superpower. I like to ask questions. I never, ever, whenever I meet people, I never asked the question, what do you do? That's the most boring question in the world. And there's a couple of reasons why I don't ask that. I actually got that tip from past guests on my podcast named Jesse Ross, and the way I look at it is, what you do, one, is usually the least interesting thing about you, like I taught, I taught English for 21 years. Everyone had one of me. Everyone knows what I did. So that's it's not fun for me to talk about that. Secondly, people generally don't like to talk about work outside of work unless they're super involved and they love what they do. Most people do what they do because it pays the bills. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and we'll come back to that a little bit later. But the third reason is, I think people over identify with their roles, their jobs. I live in Korea now, and I see that a lot, there is a pressure to have a certain status. And I feel like whenever you talk to people about what do you do, you can feel them recoil because they don't want to talk about it. So the first question I always ask all of my guests is, what are 10 roles that you play in your life? To me, that's a more interesting question. Now, the first four or five answers are always something familial. You know, for me, I'm a brother, I'm a son, I'm an uncle. Those things come like that. Then when you get into those later examples, you have to dig deep into what roles you actually play. So for me, digital nomad, Pearl Jam fanatic. I've seen Pearl Jam 54 times in nine states. I'm an avid paddle boarder. I've paddle boarded off five continent coasts. So those are the kind of things that are interesting and lead to better conversation. And because of my curiosity, I'm able to kind of wiggle my way through the mundane to get to those types of conversations.

Lesley Logan 4:32  

Yeah. I mean, I think, like, first of all, you're not wrong there. I go to a lot of parties, and of course, like, people are asking, what do you do? And this for me, most of the time, when people do ask me that I'm on a plane going somewhere and I and I'm like, well, it's gonna be really weird when I tell you what I actually do, because you're like, then why are you going to where you're going? That doesn't make sense. So it can be interesting and weird, but also, like not many people want to talk about their job, like you said, or it's like, it is the least interesting thing about them, or it's it is something that pays the bills. And so there are other things, but they're never asked that questions. They don't even know how to describe themselves or talk about themselves. And the fact that you're curious must mean that you meet cooler versions of people, like we can meet the same people, but because you can be more curious than me, you're gonna meet a version of them that, like I might have, like, missed because I asked the wrong question, or I didn't ask or not even the wrong question. I just asked a better question.

Billy Lahr 5:27  

My general rule when I talk to people, and this is going to sound a bit arrogant, but whatever. My general rule is, you need to be at least as interesting as I am, because I've lived a pretty interesting life, and if you have nothing to contribute, then, like, what value do you have for me in the conversation? So I'm going to dig around. I'm going to ask questions that maybe the normal person isn't going to ask. I had this situation pop up the other week, and there were two women who are like, I can't believe you just asked that. And I'm like, listen, if you don't ask, then you don't get the answers. So my dad always told me ask the worst anyone could ever say is no. So I ask, and those lead to better conversations.

Lesley Logan 6:15  

Yeah, yeah. I think, I mean, it is true, like I was taught that as well. It's like, if you don't ask, you got to know, and so you may as well ask, because if you get a no, then you know, and you can go find another way, but you could get a yes, and then it's like, oh my god, like you could get that. So I I completely agree. And I also think, like, you know, a lot of people are feeling lonely these days. I have to imagine, like, traveling the world if you're curious, you're never lonely, because you're always finding ways to talk to people and, like, get to know them. But people are lonely and they don't travel and they're surrounded by people, but I think it's because they're they're not getting to a deeper version of a person that they're talking to. So everything has surfaced all of the time.

Billy Lahr 6:56  

I'll tell you that the conversations that I've had with digital nomads is that being a nomad is incredibly lonely and isolating, because what you're doing is a lot of times, because it's such a transient community, is you're building these superficial relationships and people come and go out of your life. And I can tell you, just from my own personal experience, that a lot of that has exacerbated this feeling of isolation and loneliness and this longing for a deeper connection. It's very hard to maintain romantic relationships when you're on the move like this. So there is a part of me that does desire to just be in one spot. I'm someone who craves stability. I'm someone who craves structure. I crave routine. That's where I thrive. I used to work in education. Bells told me when to start and stop my day. So this is a huge leap, and I'm not not a fan of this idea of get out of your comfort zone. Shut up. I've been working really hard to get into my comfort zone. Let me sit in my comfort zone, but where I tell people to be cautious of is when we start to get into the complacency zone. So when things start to feel complacent, that's when we need to stretch our comfort zone like it's pizza dough. And you don't pull pizza dough from the outside. Only heathens do that. You push pizza dough from the inside, and where you see it's thin, you put some flour, you put a little bit more dough, and you massage that in there, and you stretch out that pizza dough. If someone tells you to get out of their comfort zone, I don't know if we can swear on here, you can just tell them, you know, shut the fuck up. I'm good in my comfort zone, but you need to take a look at, am I in my comfort zone, or am I, am I in my complacency zone? Right now, I'm definitely stretching my pizza dough because I was working a full time job. Now I'm back to freelance, and things are a bit more, you know, unstable. So, you know, I'm I'm trying to build some things, I'm trying to rebrand some things, and it all takes a lot of hard work, and there's a lot of uncertainty in there. And listen uncertainty as a very anxious person, as a very high intensity person, uncertainty does not sit well with me. So I'm very much navigating through all of this.

Lesley Logan 9:31  

This is so interesting. You are an enigma. But okay, first of all, I actually agree. I think there's something about getting out of your comfort zone all the time that the overachiever is listening to, that's the causing burnout, and it's causing extra stress. It's like, my if you're a high achiever, you're rocking it. That just means you like big things and you're doing those things, the overachievers, that's when you're like, I got to get outside of my comfort zone. It's like, but you haven't like you just said, I want to try to get in my comfort zone. It's like, that's interesting. How often have I just, like, sat still and, like, enjoyed the comfort that I created, you know, like, but do you mind? Can we dive into the complacency zone? Like, when you say that, like, the signs and symptoms you're in a complacency zone, the what, what came to mind is, like, you complain about the comfort zone. You kind of come like, you kind of complain about your, oh, the things in your life, or the things around your life, like that might be, to me, a sign, or sometimes you're in complacency, like you're good at what you do when you're still complaining about it. Is that one like, what are some signs that you're in complacency?

Billy Lahr 10:30  

That's a great question. So here's a perfect example, when I have new clients when so I was teaching business English here in Korea, so I wasn't teaching at a hagwon with elementary school kids. I've done with public education in that regard, I want to work with adults. So I was working at Hyundai and Kia and teaching their employees Business English. And so when I first meet them, I want to know, hey, what are your hobbies? And a lot of them will say, especially if they're parents, especially if they're new parents, my hobby is my child. Ding, ding, ding, complacency zone. So listen, let me, let me preface this by saying I'm not a parent, so I don't know what it's like to have a child. I don't know what it's like to sacrifice those things. What I do know is that my parents still did things despite having three kids. My dad sang in an all men's choir. Both my mom and my dad played softball throughout the week. They did things that still interested them so that they could socialize with people. So I think especially here, there is this emphasis on making sure that your child grows up and has a more successful future than what you have. And what I notice is that there's a lot of snowplow parents, we'll call them. 

Lesley Logan 12:00  

Yeah, we have them in the States. 

Billy Lahr 12:02  

Yeah, yeah. So I feel like when that happens, you lose your sense of identity again. We come back to this idea of identity, yeah. So where can you find identity? And it's through curiosity. And remember, it's you're not just one identity. You're playing many roles. So if you take a look at those 10 roles, and if you can't come up with 10 roles, that's another perfect example of, hey, maybe you're in this complacency zone. When was the last time you participated in one of those roles? Are all of these roles about someone else, because if they are, you're losing that sense of identity. So how do you go out and explore those? Easier said than done but that comes, that comes from self-awareness. It comes from sitting with your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions, sitting with what you want, and coming to a realization that, okay, I feel like, you know, we talk about being selfish and we talk about being selfless. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with being selfish if you've been overly selfless. So in the middle, you know, we talk about self-centered Well, what about centered self? That's ultimately where we want to be and when we want to be a centered self, it means that we need to be able to provide for others while also providing for ourself. 

Lesley Logan 13:34  

Yeah, I agree, like we've talked on this podcast before, how I think selfish has to do a rebrand, because, like, very rarely have I experienced the people that I have talked to, the stories that I've heard, or the listeners that we have actually being selfish assholes, like most of the time when they think they're being selfish, they're just prioritizing their self. 

Billy Lahr 13:54  

I want to direct everybody to Valerie Jones. Valerie Jones has a podcast called The Selfish Woman. She was a guest on the mindful midlife crisis. I think it's episode 57. Valerie is great, and she's done this excellent job of rebranding this idea of what it means to be selfish. So check that out.

Lesley Logan 14:14  

Yeah, okay, I might want an intro to her, because, like. 

Billy Lahr 14:17  

You have to she's great. 

Lesley Logan 14:18  

Done. We're doing it after this. Okay. Because, like, but I think like the centered self also, like I do, I do love that you challenge people who who are, who are parents, as a role, that if they don't have something outside of their kids, it, it doesn't actually help your kiddo out. Like we have seen these kids get older. We now have the Gen Z kids and these kids, and they haven't experienced disappointment, they haven't experienced a loss. They have it at a young age, because you just snow plowed all of it for them. And so now they're 20 something years old, and they're learning for the first time what it's like to fail at something that is a hard thing to do, that's hard. You got to learn it when you're younger. So I'm with you.

Billy Lahr 14:57  

And here's the I know people are like dude, you don't have kids. Mind your business. Okay. Let me give you another example. My former co host, Brian on the Bass. We call him Brian on the Bass because he plays bass in every band in the Twin Cities in Minnesota. He decided to, like I said, he's been playing bass in all of these bands. He records here and there. He developed. He he branded this new band called Gen X Jukebox. This is a guy who has three boys, boys, just or sharknadoes spinning around his house. They had a whoopsie. All right, they had a bonus baby. Sorry, they had a bonus baby when they were in their 40s, but he's still doing all of these things. They bought a bus and they turned it into a schooly, it's something that he and his wife did together. So listen, if you're listening to me and you're like, you childless, you childless piece of shit, you don't know what you're talking about. Okay, fine, fine, fine. Who are the other examples out there who are fulfilling these these roles, and take a look at your own and just say, Okay, what are things that I used to do that I don't do anymore? Or what am I curious about today that I want to learn more of?

Lesley Logan 16:16  

Yeah, I think that's so true. And I, for people, been listening to this podcast for a really long time, like the first three years of the podcast, I was like, I'm on a hobby hunt. And then people like you don't have hobby like you have so many hobbies. I'm like, No, I have a lot of hobbies that turned into pay. Like I got paid to do them, and the moment I'm getting paid to do them, I don't feel them as a hobby anymore. It's now a job. And I love what I do. I have no complaints. I love all of the aspects of my job, because I get to decide if I don't want to do them anymore, but I want to find a hobby, and I recently found one in the last year. And people are like, Oh, well, because I'm like, way up in Tarot right now. So however people feel about that, I don't care. I love it. I'm having the best time. And people like, Oh, are you gonna do a reading for me? And I was like, No, it's my fucking hobby. You can get your own reading. Go pay someone like, so I find that, like, it's really easy for people to, like, start doing something, and then people go, Oh, then you could do it for me. And it's like, I do find things that you could be curious about and, and I don't care if people want you to do it for them. You don't have to full permission from the pod permit. You get to just like, be curious about them and let them be with their or you can also change your mind. I do think that's another thing people have to realize. Like, you could be go, oh, I used to love to snowboard. And then you can go and go, Oh, I hate it now. That's fine. You can just don't worry about the sunk cost. Billy, you've mentioned your dad a couple of times, and I know that, like your dad had said something to you when you were a teacher, like, do you mind? Can we dive into that? And like, how that has shaped where you are today?

Billy Lahr 17:42  

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, my dad is a character. He's like Rodney Dangerfield in every movie. He's got the sexual innuendos. But you know, everybody knows who he is. Everybody calls him uncle D. So you know that this is just kind of guy that my dad is, but I remember him, my dad. He's a he's a farmer, he's a tinkerer, he he is a natural salesman. This guy is a renaissance man, and I think there's a small part of him, and he'll never admit this, that's maybe a little disappointed that I didn't get into, you know, being the the farm kid, or being the hunter or that sort of stuff. And instead, I got into I played sports, and I really got into books, and I got into writing. So I became an English teacher and and I remember one time he said to me, I hope you're a good English teacher, because you will starve if you have to do anything else. And he said it with love. He said it with love. He said it jokingly. But this is that's kind of what I've been figuring out here the last four years, because I left education in 2021 and I've been trying to figure out, okay, what is it that I'm good at that I can monetize? Is because there are and by monetize is being get paid for, right? 

Lesley Logan 19:05  

Yeah, well, because the world we requires us to pay bills and so we have to figure a way to monetize something that we're willing to do for many hours of a week yeah. 

Billy Lahr 19:14  

Yeah. And I think that's, you know, I've been, I've been figuring that out the last four years now I feel very, very lucky, very privileged, that one thing that he taught me was how to save and how to invest. So I've been able to travel around here the last four years with the money that I've saved, with the money that I've invested. I took this last year to work in Korea full time, because, like I said, I needed that stability, I needed that structure, I needed that routine. So in all of that, I've been experimenting. My wonderful friend Jill Daler talks about using the world as her laboratory and just seeing what works. And listen, lot of things have failed that I've done the last few years, and I think a big part of that is because I don't know how to market myself, and I don't want to play the algorithm game, because I grew up in the 90s, and the biggest sin in the 90s was selling out.

Lesley Logan 20:20  

Oh yeah, okay, so what? You're a little older than me, I think, but I do recall, you know, hearing people.

Billy Lahr 20:26  

I told you, Pearl Jam is my favorite band all those Seattle grunge bands. What did they teach us? They taught us don't sell out. Selling out is the greatest sin of it all, and this idea of marketing and playing the algorithm game and using clickbaity titles, it's so vomitus to me, and it feels disingenuous to who I am as a creative spirit. But then there are a lot of starving artists out there, so as I'm going through this rebrand, I'm thinking to myself, listen, maybe you need to play the game, because the last time I saw Pearl Jam, you want to know who was sponsoring the show, Amazon Music. Okay, so if Pearl Jam can come around to, you know, corporate, corporate suggestion, corporate support, then, then maybe I can play the game too, because, you know, who am I to Pearl Jam? 

Lesley Logan 21:22  

But also, and here's the thing, like, I completely agree with that on a I own, on my own way, and that, like, the way that I could have had more followers, more subscribers on YouTube much sooner, given the industry I am, is to just be a little bit skinnier and make sure that I only work out in a tiny sports bra and tiny shorts. And like everything is about abs and glutes, abs and glutes, abs and glutes, and it's like, but that's not the way I teach. That's not the Pilates I teach. I actually am extremely like conscious that people just feel good in their body, that they don't think that fitness actually is how you lose weight, because it's not, it's how you eat and hormones and all that stuff, sleep, water and all these different things. However, 10 years into my YouTube channel, I just have 40,000 subscribers, and my friends have millions. So what I had to figure out is like, How can I understand what the titles have to be, and then be fucking honest with people in the video? So can you lose weight with Pilates? Is not like or like Pilates and weight loss like something that'd be so clickbait against me. It's like, okay, so let's talk about what real, actual weight loss is, if you how do you know you need it? And if Pilates can do it. And so I had to find a way to like, Okay, how do I digest the click bait? But then be honest and authentic. Because the other reality is, is like, No, you said starving artists, but like the impact that you and I want to make on this world, no one hears about it if it doesn't get put in front of their face and so and so you either have time or you have money. And the thing about the algorithms is you can have no dollars, but get your message out there. That's not something we could do in the 90s. Pearl Jam would have to pay for ad space and radio space and all this stuff. So I do feel like there is some swallowing of of some of it to go. Okay, well, what can I live with? Like, what's my value process there? And it has helped me immensely, because while I still don't have millions of subscribers, all the ones I do have, I got organically, and they actually like the message I have, you know, and even if they didn't subscribe, it at least got the truth, and then they can go do with what they want, you know. So that it's an interesting thing, but it is hard, because I fucking hate the game of the algorithms. I think it's annoying. It's frustrating, but also people are overwhelmed and exhausted and in complacency, and so how do we get them out? I don't know.

Billy Lahr 23:38  

Yeah, yeah, it's funny. It just dawned on me that I haven't talked about, like, what service I provide and and I think this is gonna be funny. This is gonna be funny now, if people have listened to me throughout this and they're like, this guy's kind of a spaz, that's why I'm a certified mindfulness meditation teacher.

Lesley Logan 24:01  

Well, your message, your message.

Billy Lahr 24:03  

Right, right. So what I tell people because people will tell me, like, you're pretty intense for you a meditation teacher, yes, I practice mindfulness so that I can be this obnoxious, because if I wasn't, I'd be a complete and total asshole. So I practiced it so that I can stay here in this area, because when I wasn't practicing, then I was very anxious, and that was manifesting in the depression, and that was manifesting in some other darker thoughts. So this brand of mindfulness that I share, it isn't it isn't granola. It is, it is, it's, it's more just like, hey, here's what we need to do. I'm not going to tell you to follow your passions. I'm not going to tell you that everything happens for a reason, because I don't believe in those things. But here's what I do think is practical, and here's an easy first step. And that, then, in turn, allows me to be genuine. And I like what you said there, like, yeah, we can have a clickbaity title as long as the content within the video is genuine and it's and it's authentic to who we are. When you listen to my meditations, I can be very can go into that meditation voice, and I can be very soothing, and I know that's what that audience needs, if they click on that meditation but if they're listening to an interview, you're going to get me at high energy, because I love being behind a microphone. That's why, like, I found ways to emcee events here in Seoul, just by, you know, you talk about, see it till you be it like or be it till, which one is it? 

Lesley Logan 25:50  

I like the way you said it, I think it's great. 

Billy Lahr 25:52  

No, no, because I actually wrote about this in one of my newsletters, because once your team reached out to me, I was like, see it till you, be it, does that make more sense? But then you were talking about, be it till you see it. And I was, I was volunteering as my volunteering with my services as an emcee for these live music events around here, not getting paid for it, but not expecting to. I was just doing it because it was fun. And then over time, the band that I was emceeing for, they're a band called The Johnny Birds. You can check them out on Spotify. Please do people. They were like, hey, every time you emcee, people donate more money, so we want to include you in on that. And I was like, oh, whoa. Like, I did not expect that, but it was so generous and thoughtful of them to be like, no, you're part of this band. It as part of the live show to some degree. So we want to make sure that we show our appreciation. And that was just me being it, yeah, and then all of a sudden, you know, I saw the money.

Lesley Logan 27:04  

I so first of all, I pretty sure you, you did write a newsletter, and you sent it to my team, and I got it, and I was like, this is so cool. I haven't met the person yet. Look at the impact we're having. I really love that, because I love that story, because I do think so many people are, like, waiting for it to be all figured out and figuring out how much do I charge for this, and what's the process? And it's like, but that has never been how anything has happened for me. Everything has happened by like, acting like I have an idea of what the fuck I'm doing, even if I don't doing the best I can, and then, like, seeing what happens, and all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm four steps up the stairwell already, like it just happened, and then other people see it, and then see you do it, and they're inspired by that. And then they're like, Oh, you must know what you're doing. I'm gonna hire you for this thing, or whatever it is. And so I think a lot of people are waiting until they have their business card ready and they practice in front of the mirror. So I love that story so much, and I think it's really cool. And also, you have an innate thing, and we talked about this before, but like, you are a really good cheerleader for other people. You have a really good and that kind of goes back to, like, you have a hard kind of time. It's not selling out, but like, marketing yourself, as you said, because, like, you almost are like, the backup babe for so many people. You're like, ready to launch all their stuff.

Billy Lahr 28:19  

Oh yeah, give me the pompoms, man. I'll be the cheerleader. I'll be the cheerleader if you're doing good things, I'll absolutely be the cheerleader for you. And that's, I think that's where I went wrong with my own podcast, because I started off by giving people a platform to share their experiences and expertise, and I was having these really fascinating conversations. And then I started working with a podcast business coach, and bless his heart, he's he's a really great dude, but we didn't share the same vision. My vision was to give people a platform to share their experiences and expertise to my listeners, so that, and I just wanted to have those conversations with really fascinating people. And his idea was, well, hey, the only way that you're going to make money is if you market your coaching services. So it went completely and I hate sales. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I don't have my dad's sales acumen. It's I just would rather talk to other people and celebrate other people. And, you know, I feel like, you know, then people are like, oh, you know you're really good at the interview part. Oh, thank you. Like, that feeds my, my need for words of affirmations, like, You're really good. I'll tell you that I had Ed Latimore on my podcast. And Ed does thousands of podcasts in his lifetime. He's an author. People, check out Ed Latimore. He's got a book now called. 

Lesley Logan 29:53  

You're doing it right now, Billy, you are promoting someone else. 

Billy Lahr 29:57  

He said and here's the I've never met Ed in person, I've only met him through Zoom, but he's a really fascinating dude. And when we got done, he said, You know what? You're really good at this. And it kind of caught me by surprise, because Ed, Ed grew up like in the mean streets of Philadelphia, and, like, he was a professional boxer, you know, he literally doesn't pull punches, so he tells it like how he sees it. And that, to me, was one of the nicest compliments I've ever received. And I said, that means a lot to me, because I feel like you've done a lot of these. And he said, I have done a lot of these and and you're really good at this. And that, to me, again, goes back to the be it till you see it like I was just, I'm just asking questions. I'm doing the research and and asking questions. I hate when people send me their media flyers and like you can ask these questions. Guess what? That's a guarantee I'm not going to ask any of those questions, because then you have canned responses. I'm going to go and listen to the podcast that you did on other shows, and I'm going to write down all of the follow up questions that I think that the host should have asked you. I'm going to go to your website and I'm going to ask you specific things about your website. I'm going to read your book, and I'm going to ask you things that stand out to me in your book, because that's where real conversation comes. It doesn't come from these canned questions. And like the more that we understand other people, the more curious we are, and the more you know, harmonious of a society we can be.

Lesley Logan 31:36  

I think it goes back to like being you're a mindfulness coach like you being curious about other people and them being able to, like, hear that conversation requires mindfulness, because it requires them to be aware of any of the fucking things that they actually do in their life. Like, it's like, I think a lot of people go through the day, and so it actually doesn't surprise me that that's what you coach on. And also like, why you're a curious person. To me, they kind of go hand in hand. I also like, look, because we we coach Pilates instructors who are like, I just want to teach, you know, because I love what I do. And I'm like, the IRS doesn't care that you love what you do. If you have a business, they are going to audit you if you haven't paid taxes a couple years like they expect. They're going to give you a couple years to fuck around, and then they're going to expect their money. So I love that, and also I have to make sure that you, like, can pay your bills. So I appreciate your coach going. I want you to make your night, but there are so many different ways to make money around things. And you know you being until you see it in the beginning is a perfect way to, like, kick off your podcast and figure it out, because I don't think there's one way to make money with podcasts. I think there's a billion ways, and you'll find the one that works for you. And you don't have to be an actual, like, quote, unquote salesperson to do it. So I see it happening, and it probably already has, because you're still doing why would you podcast if it wasn't working for you? 

Billy Lahr 32:56  

I'll be honest, I hauled I put a pause on the podcast back in March because it, it was, it was, like, in a toxic relationship, because, like, I couldn't quit it. I was, you know, I would, I would pause, and then I would keep going back to it, and I would pause, and I keep going back to it, and I pause it, and I haven't recorded in a while, and I don't have any intention of going back to recording it at this time, if things were to change then, then I would maybe, maybe this rebranding, you know, blows up. Then it's like, oh, okay, now I can go back to doing this, but I don't miss it, but at the same time, I feel really good about what we created. Like, we recorded over 100 episodes, and most of those were episodes with guests. And I'm really proud to look at that guest list and be like, Okay, we were 50-50, with men and women. We, you know, we were when it was, when it was me and Brian on the Bass, you know, it was two straight white guys, right? But we had a very diverse collection of people from the LGBT community, people of color, like, you know, we really sought out or, like, it was my show, I sought out people and different voices. And I think that that that's really important, because we need to get out of that, of that silo of what we see in here, and I think that's another sign, too, of complacency, if we go back to that, that if you're looking at and you're getting the same messages, whether, whether it's MSNBC, whether it's Fox News or whatnot, not even a news channel, if it's just the same messages over and over and over again, who's challenging that, and in then, in what way are you being curious?

Lesley Logan 34:48  

Yeah, yeah. I think, I think that's really true. I think a lot of people, they well, it's hard when your thoughts are challenged. It's much easier to just go, oh no, everyone around me thinks this way, and it's definitely challenging. I have family members that we have conversations, and I can tell what they're listening to, and I'm like, What are you like? What? Okay, let's for example, it was just Halloween. Here we're recording this, and I had someone tell me, Oh, this. They are this tool where you can easily see if there's drugs in the kids candy. And I said, I'm so sorry. I just have to ask, who the fuck is putting drugs in the candy? Who is doing this? People do. No one does. How would that kid get hooked on that drug and know which house it came from? It isn't a bag. Drugs are very expensive. No drug dealer is just giving drugs out for free in hopes that he hooks these children on drugs and then they'll then come looking for said drugs. Like, they wouldn't even know what drug they had to go buy it. They wouldn't even know what high they're on. This makes zero sense to me. I cannot participate in this fear mongering bullshit. I'm like, you have to like, you don't have to like, just go think about it. But no, every Halloween I have to hear it, there's probably drugs or needles. There's needles. I'm like, you can Google, are there needles in kids candy? And it will say no,

Billy Lahr 36:06  

it happened once. So it must happen all the time.

Lesley Logan 36:08  

Happens all the time. There are people like, what are so anyways, I but I do think people don't want to challenge their thoughts, because we're because there is something comfortable about being complacent, you know. So I think it requires people to be ready to be challenged in that way and want something different. I think it's also really cool. You know, it's not easy to start or stop anything like some people can don't get started. Some people get started, but they never stop. And podcasts, y'all are hungry babies. My YouTube channel is a hungry baby, and it never grows up. It will never, it'll never produce its own content. It will always require people me to show up and be present, people to want to be on this podcast, people to listen to the podcast. It will always require those things. And so it's pretty like, it's a pretty challenging thing to make a decision like that, and then, like, figure out what you want to do from it. So I don't know. I think it's cool, you know, what you're doing, what you're exploring. I would love to know, what are you like, are you excited about anything right now? Do you have a new country on your plate? Like, what's coming up next for you, Billy?

Billy Lahr 37:09  

Yeah, so I'm current, like I said, I'm in I'm in Seoul right now, but I am heading to Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia. I have yet to be to Malaysia, and then I'm gonna go to Kuala Lumpur. Kuala Lumpur was on my original list four years ago, and then it just kind of fell to the wayside. So going there, and then I'm going back to Chiangmai, because I love Chiangmai. You know, if you're Pilates, you probably have a lot of people who are like yogis, that travel around, so come to Chiangmai, and if you're in Chiangmai in January and mid February, let's go take a class together at Yoga Ananda. Because Kru Nok is the single greatest yoga teacher in the history of yoga teachers. She has this presence about her, like it's, I'm almost like a teenage girl outside of TRL on Backstreet Boy day every time she walks into the room, because I'm just like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. And it's not she's strikingly beautiful, of course, but it's her presence, and it's the way that she leads the class where I'm just like it, I'm just so impressed with with just the way that she instructs and the way that she adjusts, and it's really impressive. So yogi's out there.

Lesley Logan 38:31  

How natural, I have to follow up with you because we do like Chiangmai. We were just there last a year ago, and we were there after the floods. And it's, it's a beautiful, beautiful place. We were in Chiang Rai before that, and I kind of like Chiangrai, but my husband Chiangrai, but my husband really liked Chiang Mai, so I feel like we'll probably be back in Chiangmai, but that's cool.

Billy Lahr 38:47  

Yeah, but then I'll be back, I'll be back in the States, in case anybody is like, you know, I actually want to, I want to, I want to meet this guy, or I want to be in the same time zone as this guy. I'll be back in the States in April, because my niece is getting married in May. If she wasn't getting married, I would have no intentions of coming back to the States. But, yeah, you know, I suppose I should be there for that I should be the funcle.

Lesley Logan 39:07  

Also, also, it'll be it's always good to, like, step back into the place that you came from just to kind of see how far you've gone. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's easy. It's an easier way to look in the rear view mirror. We're gonna take a brief break and find out how more people can find you online, instead of running into in Chiangmai and your Be It Action Items. 

Lesley Logan 39:28  

All right, Billy, where, so you're a mindfulness coach. Where can they connect with you, meet you, work with you on Zoom. What do you got?

Billy Lahr 39:35  

Yeah, if you want more from the podcast, you can go to www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com and you can sign up for the Jumpstart Your Midlife Workbook, and you'll be part of my newsletter too. That way, you can hear all all the times that I talk about Lesley's show, and you can find out where I go. I talk about my travels in there as well. I kind of give recaps of life lessons from the past episodes in that newsletter as well. If you're curious about what I do, you can go to www.billylahr.com it's L-A-H-R. If you want to check that out, I have a YouTube you can check out those. And I'm rebranding all those, so they're gonna be all sort of clickbaity titles. In case you don't like my esoteric titles that I've been using in the past. You can follow me on Instagram, mindful_midlife_crisis and you can follow me on LinkedIn, Billy Lahr, yeah, come check me out. Say hi. Let me know if there were any takeaways from this episode, things that I said that you were like, oh, I really like that, or things that I said where you're like, dude, you're full of shit. Let's talk about it. 

Lesley Logan 40:42  

I think that both are great, though both has strike wonderful, curious conversations. I also want to say, way to go, way to promote all the things look at you. Look at you, Billy.

Billy Lahr 40:52  

I mean, I invested in that stuff. I might as well, yes, I might as well talk about them. So, yeah, absolutely

Lesley Logan 40:59  

Okay, you've actually given us some great stuff, but we always do the always do the the I totally listen, but I still want action steps at the end, be it, bold, executable, intrinsic or targets that people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us? 

Billy Lahr 41:11  

Yeah. So the first thing that I tell people is to figure out what are your strengths, right? So this whole idea we talked about, follow your passion is complete and utter nonsense, passion is not a starting point. Passion is a byproduct, and it is a byproduct of this formula. Remember, I like structures, so we're going to have formulas. So step one, figure out what you're good at. Where are your strengths? If you don't know, ask somebody. Take a personality profile test. I actually have one in the Jumpstart Your Midlife Workbook that you can take. That's what this whole the whole workbook is about. This, these steps right here. Secondly, what are you curious about, and how can you leverage those skills and those strengths to learn more? And then third, find a community, find people that you can connect with, all of that will help you identify your purpose. And then, if you want to turn purpose into passion, you just multiply that by consistency, discipline, patience and self-compassion. Everybody talks about the consistency and and the the discipline, nobody ever talks about, the patience and the self-compassion, you got to have those two. And then what you'll find is, oh, you figure out what it is that you're passionate about. To me, passion is something that you will do on the weekend for free because you enjoy it so much, don't monetize it. You don't have to monetize it. Just do it for you. Do it for fun. And if, over time, you've like, oh, okay, like, maybe, maybe I can make a little side hustle with this. Go for it. But then remember, it's no longer a passion, it's a job. So keep those things in mind and just follow those steps, especially those first three, those are the big three right there. And you'll it'll give your life a little bit more meaning, and it will help you stretch that comfort zone. 

Lesley Logan 43:12  

Yeah. So good. Way to go. Thanks, Billy. This is so fun. 

Billy Lahr 43:18  

Yeah, thank you for having me. Yeah, I've enjoyed it. 

Lesley Logan 43:19  

Yeah, everyone. How are you gonna use these tips in your life? Let Billy know. Let the Be It Pod know and send this to a friend who needs to hear it. Send it to a complacent friend. Be their kickstart. It'll help them stretch their dough and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 43:33  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 44:15  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 44:20  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 44:24  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 44:32  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 44:35  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

One anonymous Saturday ritual at a local bookstore can spark a movement that transforms an entire children’s hospital. In this "Fuck Yeah Friday" episode, Lesley Logan shares the touching story of a grandfather whose weekly gift evolved into the "Books for Bravery" program, now delivering 47 books every Sunday. Beyond community miracles, she highlights personal listener wins like her Aunt Vickie’s surprise family celebration and the joy of divisional playoff football. She also gets vulnerable about her own journey toward a professional ADHD diagnosis, emphasizing why self-advocacy is the ultimate win after realizing she was exhausted by trying to manage through yet another system.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Honoring a grandson's leukemia recovery through a weekly book ritual.
• Scaling a bookstore gift-wrapping tradition into the "Books for Bravery" program.
• Staying consistent with Pilates workouts while favorite instructor was on vacation.
• Aquarius personality traits and a clinical ADHD diagnosis from a psychiatrist.
• Managing the eight-month waitlist for professional mental health support.

Episode References/Links:

• @stranger_wisdom_ - https://www.instagram.com/stranger_wisdom_
• @bookloverswriting - https://beitpod.com/bookloverswriting
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday.

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:47  

Hi, Be It babe. Happy April 10th, happy FYF. It's Fuck Yeah Friday. And did I tell you guys? Maybe I told you guys? Maybe I didn't. Did I tell you guys? I met this incredible one of our listeners? Hi, I met one of our incredible listeners. I'll keep your name out of it, but she was at the airport on her way to the Pilates World Expo, which is where I got to see her, and she said that she couldn't get her AirPods to connect. And she was hit play on the podcast, and it was like it was the Be It Pod, obviously, that's why I'm telling the story. And so she hits play, and her AirPods aren't connecting, and it goes it's Fuck Yeah Friday, it's just like, fuck yeah, at the airport and all these people look over and this woman is stunning. She's so beautiful, and like, not someone you would think is gonna play out loud in an airport. It's Fuck Yeah Friday, I just laughed so hard. And also I hope we have issues like I think you have more listeners now. I'm like, we need them. So thank you for exposing people to this amazing episode where we give you some inspiration, something to think about, your wins, my wins, and a mantra, right? Let's keep it short. Let's keep it tight. Let's keep it fun. 

Lesley Logan 1:56  

This won't be fun. This part is inspirational in a way that we have action to take. So, all right, so here is, here's something that inspired me on the internet. Are you ready? @stranger_wisdom_ but @bookloverswriting shared it, so, I work at a bookstore. Old man comes in every Saturday, 3pm buys one book. Always pays cash, always asks for it to be gift wrapped. Does this every week. Been doing it for six years. Never misses a Saturday. Finally asked him, must be quite a collection you're building. He smiled. I don't keep them. Confused look on my face. Every Sunday, I go to the Children's Hospital, leave the book at the nurse's station, anonymously, whichever kid needs it most that week. Been doing it since my grandson was there leukemia. He beat it, five years cancer free now, their voice cracked a little, but I remember those long days of scared nights, and I remember the random book someone left, how it gave him something to focus on besides fear. Never found out who left that book, so I decided to be that person for other kids, other scared families. One book a week doesn't seem like much, but it helps one kid forget they're scared for even an hour. It's worth it. I didn't know what to say. Told my manager she got emotional. We decided something, every book he buys, we match it two books to the hospital instead of one. Told him the next Saturday. He cried in the middle of the store. You'd do that? Every single week, I promised. Word spread. Other customers started asking to participate. Now we have a program. Books for Bravery. Customers donate. We buy books, deliver them every Sunday started with two books a week. Now we're at 47 books a week, all because one grandfather refused to forget. 47 books a week. That's insane, right? So that man still comes every Saturday, still buys one book, still asks for gift wrap, but now he's not alone. There's usually five or six other people that are doing the same thing. They become friends. Call themselves the Saturday Book Club, but they never actually read together. 622 books delivered so far. We started keeping letters from parents and from kids. One said I was so scared that I found a book on my nightstand had a note, from someone who believes you're brave. I read it 12 times. It helped. That's why we do it. The grandfather's grandson came in last month. He's 14, now, healthy and strong, and wanted to meet the staff. My grandpa told me, what y'all do? I want to help. Can I volunteer? Now he comes every Saturday, helps pick books, write encouraging notes to put inside. Ah, I mean, there's some good, amazing people out there, you know, you think, like, I'm just doing this one thing. And like, who would know and how much is like it affecting, but like it affects people, right? And doesn't like the one book was like for weeks and weeks and months and months, and then other people joined in. And now, just like all the kids who are going to are going to be touched by that, because there's, there's a new kid with cancer in the hospital all the time, right? So I just love that story. Love that story. I hope you did too. 

Lesley Logan 4:55  

All right, so now your win. This comes from Amie Schantz. She is an OPC member and she shared this. Okay, this, I will give her the this also just say she sent this in in January. Sorry, I'm a little I'm catching up on all of your amazing wins to share this. So keep sending him in. Don't worry, just because it will be a few months down the road, you'll need the reminder. So Amie Schantz says, I un-holidayed my house and squeezed in some alone Pilates while my favorite instructor was on vacation. Well, way to go to get your own Pilates in. Your own session just because they're gone, I'm so proud of you. Way to do it. You know, people always like, oh, my trainers, I can't do anything. There's weeks from your trainers out, my trainers out, I'm out like, come on. You gotta, just gotta do what you can. I love that. What an inspiration you are, Amie. Vickie Saner Logan. This is my aunt. She wrote a couple of my wins this week was when Jim surprised us at the one world of wonder museum on Wednesday, and he's had off this weekend to watch the divisional playoffs with me. See, those are wins. You know, we're like, Oh, my God, it's not a win until, like, I've achieved everything that I like set out to do. That's impossible. Come on. Gotta celebrate in the in between times. Okay? You really, really do. So and little things can be wins, not getting angry when you normally would, like, those are wins, right? So here's what my win is. I've been on a mission. You've heard me talk about it like, I'm like, oh my like, somewhere in the middle of this podcast, I was told I have ADHD and y'all like, but I didn't know. I just, I literally told the psychiatrist today. I said I just thought I was an Aquarius. I like, I don't know. I thought all Aquarians are weirdos. So I just thought the reason I was different from everybody is the weird Aquarius. I didn't know that I am also an Aquarius with ADHD. Like true, like crazy. So I'm really my win is that I didn't just let the internet diagnose me with ADHD. I went and got the proper diagnosis and I asked for help. You know, I was like, I I'm gonna tell you right now, I've done I have lots of systems. I'm really smart. I'm sure I need therapy, and that's not your job. But until I can figure out what's the ADHD and what's not, I just, I can't take it on another system, because I'm at the end, right? And I just share that with you, because a lot of people, it doesn't have to be ADHD, it can be a lot of things. So you could be at the like perimenopause. It could be health thing, a frustration. You've tried all the things. Got to advocate for yourself, and it takes time. You're hearing this in April. My appointment was in February. We made it in October. We made it in October, between my schedule and their schedule and everything, like, it was just really hard. And I just want to say, like, just keep going. And then when you get there, if they give you advice that, like, you've already tried, it's okay to say, you know, I'm not trying to be an obstacle. I've already tried that, and I'm just here for these are the things I've tried. This is what I need help with. And so, you know, tomorrow will be a new day. We'll see how I feel with with support, but like, I just want to share that with you. I think a win can be advocating for yourself and getting the help you need. It was for me, so great. 

Lesley Logan 8:12  

Now your mantra for the week. I am worthy of love and care for myself. I am worthy of love and care for myself. I am worthy of love and care for myself. You are and if you didn't catch it in the February episodes, we did a whole week on self love. It actually released the week of Valentine's Day. So go listen. If you are like, I'm worthy, but I don't know what that is, go listen to those episodes. I promise you they're good. All right, loves. Share those self-love episodes with a friend who needs to hear it and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 8:47  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 9:30  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 9:35  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 9:39  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 9:46  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 9:50  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Are you attracting the right people or stuck in a cycle of people-pleasing? In this candid recap, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell dig into the highlights from the recent interview with Barb Betts, a powerhouse keynote speaker and author of The Relationship Advantage. With over 20 years of expertise, Barb’s insights on choosing genuine connections over surface-level relationships will transform your perspective on your own identity. This episode explores the provocative idea that authenticity isn't about "doing" something new, but rather "undoing" the layers that aren't actually you. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Building a relationship with yourself before connecting with others. 
• Stop people-pleasing by undoing everything that is not you.
• Replace envy with curiosity to escape the comparison trap. 
• Apply visibility, vulnerability, and relatability to build real trust. 
• Release relationships that require you to show up inauthentically. 

Episode References/Links:

• Pilates On Tour® (London, UK) - xxll.co/pot      
• OPC Spring Training (Virtual Event) - opc.me/events   
• eLevate Mentorship Program - lesleylogan.co/elevate   
• Submit your questions or wins - beitpod.com/questions
• Barb Betts Website - https://www.barbbetts.com
• The Relationship Advantage by Barb Betts - https://therelationshipadvantagebook.com
• Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Ph.D. - https://a.co/d/0dGm43Y3

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

If you're not clear on who you are, you actually fill in these gaps you people, please, and then you're wondering, like, why you have relationships that, like, don't represent you, or don't feel right or don't fit, it's because you didn't know who you were, and you you brought that on yourself. 

Lesley Logan 0:14  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:56  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the candid convo I had with Barb Betts in the last episode. If you haven't listened to that one, you didn't hear it, and you're not gonna understand what we're talking about, but.  

Brad Crowell 1:09  

Well that's true. If they didn't listen to it, then they didn't hear it. 

Lesley Logan 1:11  

Well, we're thrilled you're here. So if this you might, this might be the first, Be It hot episode.

Brad Crowell 1:17  

We're so happy that you're here. 

Lesley Logan 1:18  

You know, it's taken 665 episodes. We didn't realize maybe this is the first one, and that's why you didn't listen to it. And I shouldn't say you fucking missed out, because, like, you're new. How would you know? So welcome. This is not what my voice normally sounds like. It doesn't normally sound like I'm on the brink of a sneeze, but I have a sinus stitch, and here we are. We are gonna while you're listening to this, we are in Europe, and we have to record these things early, and so we can't wait any longer. This is how it's gonna be. So stick around.

Brad Crowell 1:46  

That's true. 

Lesley Logan 1:46  

It does get better than this. It's basically just it sounds less Lesley. Today is April 9th, and it's National Unicorn Day. 

Brad Crowell 1:53  

That's right.

Lesley Logan 1:54  

You're fucking welcome.

Brad Crowell 1:54  

You are very welcome. National Unicorn Day.

Lesley Logan 1:57  

There are other days that we can celebrate. But, I mean, come on, hello. National Unicorn Day is a day to celebrate the most popular mythical creature ever. Why? Because if we don't take time to celebrate a beautiful horn, rainbow, printed mythical creature, then we're most definitely missing a trick. I don't think it's trick. You've been missing out. 

Brad Crowell 2:17  

You're missing out.

Lesley Logan 2:17  

You're missing out. It's missing out. The unicorn is a symbol of happiness, fantasy and wonder. It's an icon of color, of childlike splendor and magic. They often make appearances on birthday cakes and children's clothing. And let's be honest, quite a lot of US adults still dig them, too. I mean, hello, my Lisa Frank people. My Lisa Frank people, I love you probably have as a tattoo, because adults need stickers too. National Unicorn Day is your chance to express some unicorn love. So show some color and delve into the magnificence of unicorns with us.

Brad Crowell 2:47  

No, we're saying that word one more time.

Lesley Logan 2:50  

Show some color and delve into the magnificence. 

Brad Crowell 2:54  

That is the word. Take three. Yes, you did two times. 

Lesley Logan 3:05  

Keep sake. Alright. Oh my gosh I wish you guys knew what I'm happy about. Anyways, leave it in. Delve into the magnificence. You guys, I have a bright yellow box, kind of like a pizza box size that my dad gave me a gift in and on my 41st birthday, maybe was my 40th birthday, probably, probably my 41st anyway, in front of everybody before I had ordered a drink. I just want to put that there. There's, we're at a bar, but I have not had a drink. So it's, we can't blame anything. We cannot blame it on anything. 

Lesley Logan 3:49  

My dad hands me this gift, and it has words on the front, and Brad goes, What does it say? And I said, it says, Keep sake. And Brad is looking at upside down.

Brad Crowell 3:57  

I was upside down, and I was like, Is that what it says? And I read it. And I was like, try again.

Lesley Logan 4:03  

I said, keep sake.

Brad Crowell 4:05  

Like, hello, I'm reading it. 

Lesley Logan 4:07  

I'm reading it. 

Brad Crowell 4:08  

Keep sake.

Lesley Logan 4:09  

And he's like, you want to try that one more time? And I'm like, it says, keep sake. And it's Brad said, what does it say babe?

Brad Crowell 4:16  

Definitely says keepsake. 

Lesley Logan 4:17  

Keepsake. 

Brad Crowell 4:18  

Yeah, but we'll go with keep sake.

Lesley Logan 4:19  

Now, anyone who was there understands how hilarious it was and signs off all text messages to me. Keep sake. I want to frame it so bad. I just don't know that I got to do it anyways. Keep sake. 

Lesley Logan 4:33  

All right, you guys. We're on vacation right now, so I don't know why you're not, but we are. We are somewhere in France, but we're going to see you very soon. If you are in London at POT check out.

Brad Crowell 4:43  

Yeah we're celebrating our 10th year anniversary, actually.

Lesley Logan 4:45  

Yes, we are. 

Brad Crowell 4:46  

Decided to take some time off. 

Lesley Logan 4:47  

It's actually the exact dates that we did our honeymoon 10 years ago. So, it is. We did it in March.

Brad Crowell 4:54  

Of 2016, holy cow.

Lesley Logan 4:56  

You didn't know I that's why I said it's our second honeymoon. Because it's the same time.

Brad Crowell 5:00  

You're totally right. It's 10 years after the first honeymoon. 

Lesley Logan 5:03  

I know. 

Brad Crowell 5:03  

Wow, amazing. I didn't even put that together. Incredible. Well, we are going to be in London next week. Or actually, hold on, today is the ninth so in like two or three days, we're gonna be at POT.

Lesley Logan 5:12  

No, we're literally on a train from Paris to London in this moment.

Brad Crowell 5:16  

Yes, in this exact moment, we are traveling underwater.

Lesley Logan 5:20  

That's what they say. So if you want to see us, if there's any tickets left, you want to go to.

Lesley Logan 5:24  

xxll.co/pot

Lesley Logan 5:26  

And it's just in case you're wondering, it's xx not excess, the letters. 

Brad Crowell 5:33  

Yes, as in kiss, kiss, hug, hug, xx and LL, because we thought that was cute. Okay, after that, we're heading back home. We're going to be back in Vegas for spring training. Spring Training is with onlinepilatesclasses.com we love to call it OPC and we do an annual event. Yeah, you know me, we do an annual, annual event. This is called Spring Training. And this year it's all about getting upside down.

Lesley Logan 5:57  

Yeah. OPC members, it's free for you.

Brad Crowell 6:00  

Free for OPC members.

Lesley Logan 6:01  

If you're not an OPC member, you are missing out. I'm just telling you. It really is for Pilates lovers. It really is one of the best things you could subscribe to, because you can do it in addition to your other things, like it doesn't have to be your only thing, but we actually give feedback on your form, like for exercise you're struggling with. We have a really amazing community that answers lots of questions. We can support you on the equipment choices, all that good stuff, and we help hold you a candle to your Pilates practice. And we do this fun event. It's free if you're a member, and it's not free if you're not a member, so then you have to pay for it if you're not a member, so you're gonna go to opc.me/events. To get on the waitlist for that. Actually, probably right now you can sign up for it. And I don't know how much it is on this date, but it's available for you to register for. If you go to opc.me/events it should direct you to where that is.

Brad Crowell 6:46  

Yes, opc.me/events

Lesley Logan 6:49  

And then at the time I'm recording this, there's five spots left in my mentorship program. Just five. It could be gone by now. I have no idea. Unless you want to go to lesleylogan.co/elevate if it's sold out, I'll say so on the website. And if it's not sold out, you can apply to be in the mentorship program. Once I've accepted all the applications and they have accepted their spots, it's you have to work on 2028. Oh, geez, that's far okay. 

Brad Crowell 7:16  

Oh, don't sit on it. 

Lesley Logan 7:17  

Oh, my God, do not. I don't wait that long to work with you. It's way too much fun.

Brad Crowell 7:21  

Yeah, right. Well, before we dig into this amazing conversation that you had with Barb Betts, we have a question. Today's question is from @marthanovera on YouTube, and she was commenting on the Teaching the Hundred to Beginners video. She said, Hey, amazing tips. Quick q, when preparing for roll ups, when you say you don't like arms holding behind the knees, would it be helpful to have the client let go and reach the arms forward as they curl to their lowest point? Would it be a useful prep for an actual roll up?

Lesley Logan 7:55  

Trying to picture what you're saying. Sorry, it's not you, Martha, it's it's my sinus medicine. 

Brad Crowell 8:01  

Okay, so. 

Lesley Logan 8:02  

I understand. 

Brad Crowell 8:03  

You do understand. 

Lesley Logan 8:04  

You're preparing for roll ups and I don't like when people hold behind the knees because they just use their arms, which is why I don't like it. I but I understand why a half roll up exists. I have it in my flash cards. I actually have information on how to best teach it. And if they're holding behind their thighs, like close to their knees, just wanna make sure that they're not using their arms to do it. But of course, they might need but, of course, they might need to. But is it helpful for them to reach forward as they curl their lowest point like so they let go? It could be, it might be extra to be honest. Here's the problem. People make Pilates too complicated. What I mean is like, okay, curl forward. Okay. Now, right there. Stop. Reach your arms forward and keep going.

Brad Crowell 8:41  

I think people like, whip up. They like, you know, to get up into that roll up. That's what I did at first, for sure.

Lesley Logan 8:48  

All right, so what I would say, Martha is, if they're not ready for the roll up, maybe we need to do other things. Maybe they need to do some pre Pilates work.

Brad Crowell 8:56  

Yeah, I was gonna say everybody's favorite elbow slip will really help with the roll up.

Lesley Logan 9:00  

That might even be too hard. Maybe they actually get. 

Brad Crowell 9:02  

It's really hard. 

Lesley Logan 9:03  

Honestly, look, if they don't have access to a Cadillac, that would be a bummer, because where I'm thinking they need to go is the half roll up with the roll back bar. Actually need to use the springs that help them go down and up, versus just working on themselves. I would also say stomach massage on the Reformer would be really great. I would say push down on the Wunda Chair can be really helpful. And if they don't have access to any of that equipment, Martha, then I would put them on the wall, and I'd practice the roll up at the wall. Clearly, something is tight and something is weak. So instead of trying to modify the roll up again and again until it's almost nothing, like the roll up, which is basically like borrowing cash off a credit card, which is the highest interest rate, makes it really hard to pay back whenever you use too much modifications. Are they ever going to be able to do the actual exercise? Ever, right? It's gonna take years, it's gonna take months. So I would say, put them at the wall and work on the roll down, up and down the wall. So they go put their back and then work on exercise that would stretch the front of their thighs and strengthen the back of their legs and then add the exercise back in. It's perfectly fine for them to skip it, get better at it. And I know that that sounds terrible. Sometimes people like I'm just trying to make Pilates accessible. I'm not saying don't make it accessible. What I'm saying is.

Brad Crowell 10:14  

Yeah, but there are building blocks here, and maybe you haven't built the foundation necessary to be able to do the roll up without either cheating or hurting someone, right, so.

Lesley Logan 10:22  

Correct and here's the other thing, you remember how. 

Brad Crowell 10:24  

Not that you're hurting them, but they could hurt themselves. 

Lesley Logan 10:26  

Training wheels work. They like, don't actually touch the ground. It's like, if you lean to one side, a training wheel touches the ground, right, catches you. Then I saw someone's training wheels that like, touch the ground, having training wheels that touch the ground on both sides. That kid is never riding a bicycle, ever. It's never gonna happen. So you have to actually make sure that you're not putting a tripod on a bike, versus actually something that will help them test the waters. 

Brad Crowell 10:51  

It's a great visual. 

Lesley Logan 10:52  

Thanks. I just came up with it. Now, how did I not think about that genius example? But another thing I'll just say is, like, not every exercise is for everybody at that time, and we have to understand that, like our job as the teachers who are teaching people is to make sure that we understand, by looking at a body what they're ready for, and then prepare them for what they're ready for. And for the clients, it is understanding that if you can't do an exercise yet, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means that we actually have to find the connections to help you get there. And for whatever reason, this is completely normal at a gym. Like, no one would go, Oh, my God, I can't bench press. You've got to make this bar lighter. Rogue should make a lighter bar. No, they're like, here are some lighter dumbbells. Here is another way you could do push ups at the wall. There's like, all these different things. You take bands and you build up your flexibility and your abilities.

Brad Crowell 11:47  

It's like doing pull ups, right? Like, the same thing. This is a great these are great parallels.

Lesley Logan 11:50  

For whatever reason, at a gym, people are understanding that they have to build up their strength to do something. But in Pilates or even in yoga, I would argue, people are like, you should make the exercise possible, no.

Brad Crowell 12:00  

I mean, even when you are like, I can like, even when you're like, I got this, I can do a squat with 175 pounds. You don't, your first squat is not 175 pounds. You build up your bar to get to 175 pounds, even if you know you can already do it.

Lesley Logan 12:15  

Today, I Dave, I back squatted 120 pounds today. 

Brad Crowell 12:18  

Did you just call me Dave? 

Lesley Logan 12:20  

Babe. 

Brad Crowell 12:20  

Oh, babe. 

Lesley Logan 12:21  

What's this with the sinus infection sounds like Dave, but it's babe. Hey, babe. Hey, Dave, I back squat 120 pounds, which you know how much I started with? 

Brad Crowell 12:29  

Tell me. 

Lesley Logan 12:29  

65 pounds. Did three reps then I added 20 more pounds, 85 pounds, then I got to 105 and did six reps. Now I started my rounds, and I went to 110 then 115 120 why? Because you have to get your brain connected to it. And I just, I just want to say, like, for whatever reason, people like, oh, I have to make Pilates accessible to everybody. No, you have to make everybody ready for the exercise you're gonna give them. That is your job. If you're a teacher, that's your job. If you're a teacher, and if you're not doing that, then you're not helping people. You're just putting a tripod on their bike and going see you did it. You did Pilates. That, to me, is almost lying to them. Anyways. Now I'm on a ped, I'm on a fucking like.

Brad Crowell 13:06  

Now you're on your own tripod. 

Lesley Logan 13:08  

No, what do you call those things? I'm on a pedestal. I'm not pointing fingers at people, Martha, I just want to say also. 

Brad Crowell 13:14  

Your soapbox, you mean. 

Lesley Logan 13:15  

My soapbox. That's what I'm on. Telling you guys the day will hit. Martha, I appreciate this question. I know it comes from a place of love and wanting your clients to get it, and I love that you're trying to be creative, and so I hope I'm not. I hope you don't feel like I'm like, attacking you. I just, I want to give you different perspective of how to think about readying your clients, and I hope that gives you some.

Brad Crowell 13:34  

I like it. I like it. Well, that's a great question. Martha, thanks for writing that in and feel free to keep writing in questions. If you have a question, text it to us at 310-905-5534. We also love to celebrate wins. If you haven't, if it is your first episode tomorrow will be Fuck Yeah Friday, and that's gonna be amazing, so.

Lesley Logan 13:52  

One of, one of, one of the people who sent a win in, they're like, I don't know if it's qualifies. They're in one of our they're like, an eLevate grad and like, I know if it qualifies as a win, but I heard my win on the FYFs today that I sent in, and it's been months since I've had that win, and being able to hear it and recelebrate that is another win.

Brad Crowell 14:12  

Well, if you have either a win or a question, you can also send it in at beitpod.com/questions be it pod.com/questions and we can't wait to celebrate yours, so stick around. We will be right back. We're going to talk about Barb Betts. 

Brad Crowell 14:28  

Barb Betts is a keynote speaker, author and recovering real estate broker who turned an accidental speaking career into a full time role as a thought leader with over 20 years of experience, she helps professionals understand how relationships drive leadership, sales and long term success. She's the author of the relationship advantage, and is known for her practical, trust-centered approach to relationships, and I think her book has just come out. So we're really Barb. We've known Barb now for like, five or six years, and yeah, this is really exciting for her. So we're fired up.

Lesley Logan 14:59  

She's kicking ass.

Brad Crowell 15:00  

Yeah, fantastic. So one thing, oh, actually.

Lesley Logan 15:02  

It's my turn. 

Brad Crowell 15:03  

It's your turn. 

Lesley Logan 15:04  

I start. I always start. It's my turn. 

Brad Crowell 15:06  

It's your turn. 

Lesley Logan 15:06  

Yeah. She said, I love this so much. She said, to have a real relationship with anyone else, you first have to have relationship with yourself. You guys, this is like. 

Brad Crowell 15:14  

This is like, this is like, mic drop moment, boom.

Lesley Logan 15:17  

Y'all. This is, like, every time I have people in my life who complain about the people who are dating, gonna go, there's something wrong with you, because you, if you keep attracting people, like one of our friends today, I'm excited for them, but like, I saw online that they're just talking about, like, this is the third person that's ghosted me, and it's like, why do you people three people in a row ghost you like what are you putting out in the world? Because one person goes to okay, that like lightning strikes once in a while, but like, three there's something going on there. So she mentioned that relationships are a mirror of yourself, you're only capable of building a relationship with someone else to the capacity you have one with yourself. So she also argued the biggest problem we have in life is we're trying to build relationships with others, and we don't even know who we are. So we show up to these relationships. Inevitably, we people please and present an inauthentic version of ourselves. And I have a series coming up on I think it's listening to your inner self. And I brought up a book called Getting the Love You Want. And I also just want to say, I have no idea if it ages well. I have no idea if that person's like a real marriage counselor. But there's this thing about in the book that talks about how when you get into a new relationship with anybody.

Brad Crowell 16:28  

Harville Hendrix. 

Lesley Logan 16:30  

You, you fill in all of your holes, so to speak, you fill them in, but you think that the other person you're with fill them in, and then in a few months, when you're exhausted and tired, you don't fill them in anymore. And then you're like, you've changed. And it's like, actually, you changed because you were filling those things and you were presenting an inauthentic version of yourself. And so I just think that, like, what if you are someone who's wanting new friendships, new relationships, better clients, you know, Barb's big thing is that, like, if you have really great relationships, you can have great longevity in your business and things like that. But if you don't know who you are, you're not going to be attracting people that you want in your life, whether they're clients, friends, a romantic partner, any of that kind of stuff. You gotta know who yourself is.

Brad Crowell 17:07  

Harville Hendrix is a doctor. 

Lesley Logan 17:09  

Okay, great. 

Brad Crowell 17:10  

So they have a PhD. I have no idea in what, but it's Dr Hendrix. So yes. 

Lesley Logan 17:15  

Yeah, I remember it being great. I also only read the first chapter. I kind of got the point. Do you ever do that you're like. 

Brad Crowell 17:29  

I'm like, okay, got this chapter, I see where, yeah, this is like, ADHD. Am I finishing your sentences? How about I finish your book in the first, I'm like, got it.

Lesley Logan 17:39  

But, but I will just say, like, I appreciate that thought. And it comes to this, it's like, if you're not clear on who you are, you actually fill in these gaps, you people please. And then you're wondering, like, why you have relationships that, like, don't represent you, or don't feel right, or don't fit, it's because you didn't know who you were, and you you brought that on yourself.

Brad Crowell 17:57  

Yeah. Well, I got really into when she was kind of dissing the word authenticity, yeah, even though the irony is, she wants people to be authentic, and she also she acknowledged that, and she said that, but she said her big beef with it is the word authenticity is like so overused, and it's also under explored. And she said she critiques the common self-help mantra of just be yourself, you know? And she argues that to be is a verb, that the verb to be is inherently performative, right? Comparing it to deciding what to be for Halloween or when you grow up, right? So if we are going to, like, I think the Halloween parallel is perfect, like, I am going to be Iron Man for Halloween, and you're like, putting on a costume to be Iron Man for the night, but then we're also told to be authentic. And we're like, okay, I gotta, like, be authentic in this moment coming up right now, but like, in my real life, am I actually authentic, or am I putting on the costume of authenticity for this thing? I'm gonna go do whatever, right? And so I think that that was, like, that was really intriguing to me, because she said, that's, I think, how most people are thinking about it, like, okay, I got to put on my two my authenticity hat. Now, you know, she said, authenticity is not about doing anything. Authenticity is about undoing everything that is not you. 

Lesley Logan 19:16  

I love that, and I think that that makes it a lot easier.

Brad Crowell 19:18  

Another mic drop moment, like, I seriously, there was some, like, really deep stuff in this episode with Barb, and she was just casually throwing out these, like, epic topics. I was like, whoa. Let's dig into that more. She started talking about comparison, and she said, comparison is actually the thief of authenticity. When you're comparing, you are now all of a sudden, adding things into your life that are not you. But if authenticity is about undoing everything that isn't you, then comparison is really the number one trap. But if you compare yourself to someone else for different reasons, you're running a race, you cannot win. She advised that to we need to reframe comparison by replacing envy with curiosity, right, which I love. Wow. Look at them. How are they doing what they're doing? Yeah, you know, rather than feeling defeated by someone else's success, we should view them as showing us that there's a path that's possible, or maybe even literally showing us the path. Oh, I could do that too, right? You know, and how you could achieve it your own way. So I just thought it was powerful. Really, really concisely well said. 

Lesley Logan 20:19  

I mean, we've been listening to Barb talk about building great relationships for a really long time and so does that see her be able to put in a concise book that anyone because she does this on speaking. But when are you gonna go see or speak you'd have to be at one of those speaking places, right? And like, this is something anyone can use. And I think, like, I love the word authenticity, like it's a value that we have at our company, a value that I think is really important, but I agree with her, I is overused and under explored. It's kind of like the word Pilates. Gonna be really honest, it's very similar, like, I do Pilates, but most of the time, people tell me that I'm like, oh, and then I'm like, where do you do it? And they're like, I do it over this place. And I'm like, those aren't even reformers. Why is the room hot? What are we doing? Oh, and you're and your shoulders hurt later, you're not doing Pilates. But I don't want to be the person who tells them that, like, like, that's just an annoying thing. So I kind of feel like I understand, and I love Pilates, and I love being authentic. So I feel it's a predicament. I'm in a I'm in a conundrum.

Brad Crowell 21:20  

Conundrum. Yeah, it's something we have to remove. All right. Well, anyway, we will be right back. We're going to dig into some Be It Action Items that you covered with Barb Betts, stick around. 

Brad Crowell 21:30  

All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Barb Betts. She said there are three things that have to be present to have a real relationship with others and even with yourself. She calls it the VVR formula, visibility, vulnerability and relatability. VVR. So visibility, are you actually showing up and being present? Visibility, are you actually showing up and being present. She links this to a really interesting law called propinquity, which I have never looked up and thought that was interesting. She said that the greater proximity increases the chance of a relationship. So if you're not in the room, you can't have a relationship.

Lesley Logan 22:15  

Oh, that's kind of like how Hinge, the dating app, used to start. It was based on if someone had ever been in a location that you've been to? That's how Chris and Laura got together. They both went to some area in Century City Mall, crazy. She shopped there, and his office was down there. And so they're like, you two are near each other some of the time. 

Brad Crowell 22:33  

Love that. Well, yeah. So visibility, obviously. Vulnerability is the second thing. And I thought, again, this was another really powerful thing. And she said, there has to be some level of vulnerability in your life with other human beings. So are you willing to say, I don't know the answer to that? Or text someone and just be like, Hey, I was just thinking about you. I miss you, right? And there's that is being vulnerable. And when you do that, it really does, like let them know that they're special, that they're they care. So you know, by being vulnerable, you're helping connect the dots, and it builds relationships. The third is relatable relatability. You have to have a point of connection or common ground. She believes that this is often something forced, that people are forcing right? I mean, you know, it's like, I think actually people who get in a relationship and they they say things like, Oh, we love the same music and movies and all this kind of stuff, but, like, that's the only things that are a part of it. There's got to be more the vulnerability is, like, super important, you know, and honesty and trust and, of course, all those other things. But relatability is a definitely the beginning. It will help jumpstart all these conversations and all these things, but you know, if you're forcing it, you're not being vulnerable.

Lesley Logan 23:52  

I mean, that's yeah, that's kind of it. 

Brad Crowell 23:54  

Yeah. She emphasized that if you don't have these three things, then you won't build a relationship.

Lesley Logan 23:59  

Yeah. I believe that. 

Brad Crowell 24:00  

Yeah, what about you? Big takeaway. 

Lesley Logan 24:02  

Okay, stop hiding. Let your walls down. Let people in. Admit you're not perfect. Admit where you know your vulnerabilities are. Pay attention to how you feel on social media. Pay attention to what you're looking out and how you're comparing yourself to others. I mean, these are great things to like even journal on. They kind of help with what you were talking about before, first of all, if you're listening to this podcast, you're already admitting you're not perfect. You've been listening to us. I sound like a fucking shit right now. I sound like a Bakewell. But I also think, like, when you admit those things, it you don't have to pretend, and you you can just, it doesn't mean you get to like, it's like a bus pass to like, being an asshole, but you can just be like, like, I am not an organized person. I'm not I It's not something I'm going to learn to do. I put things down. I don't put them away. I'm not a dirty person. I'm a messy person, you know. So I that means I have to know that those are my things, and I need people in my life who will put things away or keep things out of my hands so I can't fuck it up, you know. You just have to know these things. And if you do feel like shit when you're watching social media, stop doing it. One of my clients, she just, social media doesn't make her feel good, so she doesn't have any account. She just, she's like, I just, like, I have no idea what's going on, and that's okay, because, like, honestly, like, I don't it wasn't helping. The benefits of being in on, like, whatever is something that is like people are talking about don't outweigh the negatives of how I feel about myself when I watch it. So I think this is really important. And I I understand if you've been hurt before, it's hard to let your walls down, but you waiting for someone to be trustworthy enough to let your walls down. Guess how you do that? You trust them. You have to like, let your wall like the way it works you have to let your walls down first so you can trust them. Let your walls down. That's how it goes. So if people suck, go find new people. I also just want to say, like, I love.

Brad Crowell 25:49  

Burn those relationships or not relationships, because they're not relationships. 

Lesley Logan 25:54  

No, I think, like, I love how Barb talks about, like, building authentic relationships. I made big fan of just like (inaudible) just don't go like, I'm amazed at how many friends you have from like, different parts of your life, and like. 

Brad Crowell 26:05  

Who, me? 

Lesley Logan 26:06  

Yeah, and I have I, if I saw those people in a place right now, I would not avoid them. I would absolutely go, oh my god, hi from high school, if I to be honest, and no offense even from high school, if I recognized you. I really didn't know who I was in high school, so I don't know, like, who you remember, because probably, but like, I would just say, like, I don't have those but I wouldn't be like, Oh, I don't talk to those people anymore. It's just like, I outgrew those things because I got to know myself more, and it's not a slight to them. It's just like, you keep going. So it's okay to let relationships go, if you have to show up inauthentically to be in them, yes, and I think that that's really important information, you know.

Brad Crowell 26:47  

I think, I think that's worth saying again, you know, like, and I it's something I struggle with, is letting a relationship go, you know, because, for me, I value relationships really highly. But I love the idea that if you have changed to the point where being in a relationship with a friend or even a family member means you have to be inauthentic to be in that you're allowed to hit pause, you know. So yeah, and it's gonna be healthy for you in the long run, and it is something that we have to protect ourselves, you know? Because, like, think about this. We talk about this all the time. When we let our friends or family, we tell them our dream, and then they shit all over it, and then we take that seriously, you know? And it's like, like, we all know that that has happened, but also too, like, clearly, there's a discord there. Doesn't mean we're firing those friends, but the point is that if we are aware, conscious enough that we should protect our dreams when we're sharing them. You know, in that way, it's also okay as you shift, change and grow. If you have to, like, pretend to be your old self to be in a relationship with someone, maybe you move on.

Lesley Logan 27:53  

Well, I'll just say, like the other day we were at, not the other day, the other day, but a while back, we were at an event, and I saw some people in person for the first time in six, seven years in our industry, and I used to handle the lot, and there was just a few different times they showed me, kind of like, who they were and how I needed to be in their relationship with them. And they're not bad people by the way. They just their needs and how they want to be and what they want to talk about, are things that are not something I want to do, and how I'd have to be in a conversation with them is not authentic to me. And I went up, I hugged them, I genuinely said, how are you what's going on? And they did vague, this is what's going on, even like they were not vulnerable, no. And what they did say was like. 

Brad Crowell 28:39  

I literally know the conversation you're talking about. 

Lesley Logan 28:42  

They were like, they were like, kind of pumping up whatever it was they were doing in a very like, I'm over here and this is over here. And I was like, yeah, I'm really glad that I'm saying hi, and I'm so glad that over the last six years we haven't been in contact, because, like, who they want me to be in that conversation is not who I am and I have voiced multiple times things that, like, I was like, ooh, I don't really like this, X, Y and Z, yeah. And guess what? So I voiced it. They didn't want to hear it, or they don't care, or they don't see it that way. You have to be a negative. It's just like, it's, we're different. And I think.

Brad Crowell 29:15  

But this comes back to knowing yourself. So because you know yourself, it allows you to be like, ooh. 

Lesley Logan 29:20  

Yeah. So because of that, so it was great to just have a check in. Like, oh, did I let something go? Was it me? No, actually, we are oil and water and that is okay, and we can exist as balsamic and oil. Sometimes they're great on bread. Sometimes, there's gonna be people who glad that we're both at the exact same event, but I don't have to pour myself into their bowl for the for it to.

Brad Crowell 29:45  

To finish the metaphor. Yeah, love it. Awesome. 

Lesley Logan 29:47  

All right. I'm Lesley Logan. 

Brad Crowell 29:48  

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan 29:49  

You guys are amazing. I just am so grateful for you. Thanks for sticking it out with this voice. I hope that we record in a couple of days better. If it's not, you're gonna keep. Listening anyways, because you love me and we are hopefully really helpful, and so you're gonna leave a review, too, me hypnotizing you leave a review show this with a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time, go Be It Till You See It. 

Brad Crowell 30:10  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 30:12  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 30:54  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 30:59  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 31:04  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 31:11  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 31:14  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan 31:27  

There's a gnat that is just like. 

Brad Crowell 31:29  

I know I tried to kill him twice on my screen without shaking my camera.

Lesley Logan 31:32  

Flying around my face. I feel like that dog today. I'm like. Gonna wash my hair after this.

Brad Crowell 31:44  

Yeah, the more you keep touching it, the more amazing it looks on camera.

Lesley Logan 31:53  

Yeah, what is happening? Okay, that's pretty good. Nope. Do I look like a unicorn?

Brad Crowell 32:09  

Yes, you are always a unicorn babe. Okay, ready? Okay, let's talk about Barb. Betts. Barb is a keynote speaker, author and recovering real estate broker who turned and we are on a roll. All right, let's start that over. 

Brad Crowell 32:38  

She said there are three things that you have to have to be present. Sorry. She said there are three things that you have to be present to have. This is fucked up. There are three things that have to be oh, that not you. It's just have to be present. 

Authenticity isn't about doing more; it’s about undoing everything that isn't actually you. In this high-impact episode, Lesley Logan sits down with author and keynote speaker Barb Betts to unpack one of the most overused buzzwords in personal growth. From getting pregnant at 17 to building a speaking career rooted in real connection, Barb shares how her hair loss journey helped her stop hiding and start showing up fully. Instead of trying to be more, start shedding the layers of protection that stall your growth. This conversation flips the script on self-doubt, turning it into a green light for the next best version of you.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Authenticity as an undoing process of performance and protection.
• How your relationship with yourself impacts your ability to connect with others.
• Reframing comparison with curiosity to overcome social media envy.
• Overcoming imposter syndrome by embracing self-doubt as a growth signal.
• The VVR formula using visibility vulnerability and relatability to connect.

Episode References/Links:

• Barb Betts Website - https://www.barbbetts.com
• Barb Betts LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/barbbetts
• Barb Betts Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/barbbetts
• The Relationship Advantage by Barb Betts - https://therelationshipadvantagebook.com
• You're Wrong About Podcast - https://beitpod.com/yourewrongbout

Guest Bio:

Barb Betts is a sought-after keynote speaker, CEO and relentless advocate for building businesses rooted in relationships. With over 20 years of experience, she blends authenticity and strategy to help professionals create lasting success while staying true to themselves. Known for her high-energy, transformative presentations, Barb has inspired audiences at events like LVMH, Thelios, Fidelity National, Inman Connect, and the NAR Annual Conference. 

As an entrepreneur and CEO, Barb equips leaders and business owners with the systems and strategies to leverage relationships for growth and success. Through her award-winning podcast, Relationships are Your Superpower®, she shows how trust-based connections lead to more referrals, loyal clients, and sustainable business models.

Outside of her work, Barb enjoys life in Southern California with her husband and two children, and can in her spare time, loves to travel, spend time with friends and family, and has never met a steakhouse she doesn’t like! 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Barb Betts 0:00  

What I know for a fact is when you choose authenticity, when you choose to show up real, relatable and human, I know for a fact you give others permission to do the same and that is the foundation of human connection, and that's how you build real relationships. When I chose to go through my hair loss journey, take my hair off on social media and show everybody my basically bald front of my head. I upleveled my relationships big time in ways I never could have imagined, because it turns out people want authenticity, they want humanity and it gives others permission to do the same with you, and that's how you create a real relationship. 

Lesley Logan 0:43  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 1:26  

All right, Be It babe, we're gonna talk about relationships, not like the romantic kind, but like relationships with our self. You've heard many Be It Pods be about get to know yourself. And so we're gonna talk about that in a deep, wonderful, tangible way. I actually think it's really great for all of us. I got, I have already have five things. I'm like, oh, I want to review that. Oh, I like that. Oh, I highlight that. Oh, that. I'm so glad I already do that, and now I know why I love it so much. So Barb Betts is our guest today. She's an author speaker and epic human you're gonna hear all about her, and I'm gonna let her tell you, because she's the best at it. So here's Barb Betts. 

Lesley Logan 2:00  

All right, Be It babe, this is gonna be fun, because I've known this woman for a few years now and been following her journey. And there's so many ways this conversation could go, because you are one of the most multifaceted humans I do know, but you are an expert at several things, and I wanted to bring you on to just wow our people in being it till you see it. So, Barb Betts, tell everyone who you are and what you rock at. 

Barb Betts 2:21  

Oh, Lesley Logan, it has been just so, you know, four years we've known each other. 

Lesley Logan 2:26  

That's crazy. It went by so fast. That would be faster than high school. 

Barb Betts 2:31  

I know that's funny. We were both part of a community that we met each other in, and I met you probably at one of my first events. So it has to be four years. So anyway, so my name is Bart Betts. I am from Southern California. I am a recovering real estate agent and broker who built a accidental speaking career while I was selling real estate, and that has transpired into me essentially stepping away from the industry. My husband now runs our sales team, and I now get to pursue my passion of being a thought leader in the world, of helping people build authentic, trust-based relationships with themselves and with others. 

Lesley Logan 3:08  

Which is what the world needs. Because I can't tell you how many inauthentic relationship-building like things are trying to come through my DMs. 

Barb Betts 3:16  

Oh yes girl oh yes. 

Lesley Logan 3:18  

I appreciate when people like, Oh, I forgot. We should talk. I think we have a lot in common. It's like, I don't know who you are, though. This scares me. You don't know how much you're scaring me right now. 

Barb Betts 3:29  

Correct. I cannot tell you how much I connect with that and how much it frustrates me. And I always tell people just continue to be cold in the DMS, and all you're going to get from me is I remove connection or block. So if that's how you want our relationship to go, then try it, because it works with me. 

Lesley Logan 3:44  

I know, I well, I used to tell people, and maybe we've talked about this before, but like, when I'm still I still tell people this, but when I first started business coaching for Pilate instructors, I was like, your business is with clients, is like dating. You would freak out if a guy at a bar, and I'm sorry this is gonna be more heterosexual, because that's the experience I have at a bar. A guy at a bar comes at you and tries to make out with you. But every time you come up, people with come take my class, buy my package, you are trying to make out with a stranger at a bar. You have to, you have to tell me my sweater looks nice. Flatter me a little bit. 

Barb Betts 4:18  

100% 

Lesley Logan 4:19  

Well, we're kind of skipping ahead. So okay, you actually, I love that you're a recovering real estate broker. I don't think we've ever had one of those before. But how did you get into this? Like, what was the journey? How did you discover that you were a thought leader here? Because it's not like, I mean, maybe you've always known you were when we were born that way, and, like, someone goes Barb Betts, you are the thought leader on this, but, I don't know. 

Barb Betts 4:40  

Kind of, what's crazy about this is so when I was like, as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a teacher. I would play school in my room, and my favorite place to go to get prizes or rewards was teacher supply store. 

Lesley Logan 4:56  

Oh, my God, I do love teacher supply, yes, that is the best store. 

Barb Betts 4:59  

So I would get grade books and seating charts, and I would put the mean people with the mean people because I didn't like them, and I'd give them bad grades, and I'd give the Lesleys of the world that I loved. I'd give them the good grades, and I would line up on my camera, scratch kid dolls, and I would teach them school. So I've always had the heart of a teacher. Frankly, I wanted to be a teacher my whole life. I would have been 100% a teacher, I'd probably be a principal right now, if it wasn't for the fact that I got pregnant at 17 years old. I talk about it very openly that that derailed my college opportunities. And back then, in the late 90s, there was no Zoom, there was no online classes, there wasn't any of that. And so how I ended up in real estate is a story that it would be boring to tell ended up in real estate. Got good at it. Was doing everything by relationship. And about 2011 I was in an office where everyone was taking note that my husband and I weren't doing door knocking and bus benches and grocery carts and all the other things that realtors are taught to do. And so they were like, Hey, can you teach us what you're doing? I was like, Sure. So I did a class, and I'll never forget, a woman in her 70s came up to me, she looked me dead in the eye, kind of rudely said, you should never go on a listing appointment another day in your life. You should do this for the rest of your life. And I didn't think much of it then, but it has stuck in the back of my head. And so from there, Lesley, it just snowballed. I just kept doing more classes and more classes that led to stages, that led to bigger stages, and that led to me truly not believing but understanding and feeling the itch and the need that I do have thoughts, I do have ideas that can help people. I have a gift on stage, which not everybody does, and I need to pour into that, lean into that and move into this new next chapter of my life. 

Lesley Logan 6:44  

Wow. First of all, thank you for taking us on the journey of how when that was because I think some people would go, Oh, look at Barb Betts. It happened in like, three the four years that they've known each other, you know, like, like the year before they met, she figured this out, she taught a couple things, and now she's a paid speaker. Like, everything starts back with and I have a similar story where somebody told me, like, they asked me a question, how are you doing what you're doing? Because whatever you're doing is different than the that the norm is doing. And you all like, for me, I love that your reaction is, like, kind of rudely. I remember thinking I was in trouble. Which is clearly an insight to the psychology of an oldest daughter. But like, I thought I was in trouble. Like, like, they're like, the way they asked, How are you doing this did not seem like they were excited about what I was doing. I had to sit there for a second realize, oh, they actually just want to know. I'm not in trouble. 

Barb Betts 7:31  

They're actually curious. Yeah, they're not, they're not putting you down, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 7:35  

Yeah. So then so and I say, I highlight that, because for everyone listening like there are things that you are so good at, but because it's normal for you, you don't see it as the strength right away someone has to tell you, and sometimes we're not listening to them, or we think we're in trouble, we're avoiding that information because it's scary. It would be like, I don't know. Like, owning that means changing what, how you do, what you do. Like, it's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go in this lane now that'd be really scary. 

Barb Betts 7:58  

It was. It was really scary. And, you know, frankly, how it all happened. It was about four years ago when we met, is when I made the decision that my husband and I have ran this great real estate company for so long, but real estate's getting real scary. And I, if you don't know anything about real estate, you know, we just went through these huge lawsuits and all this other stuff, and I was kind of at the table for a lot of those conversations, and I knew how bad things really were, and I knew how much our industry was going to change. And I kind of thought to myself two things. One, I'm not fulfilled anymore. Just, I hate to say just, going on listing appointments, working with buyers, it just doesn't fulfill me the same way it used to. And then the second piece to that was, I am concerned that all of our income is in one basket, and if the bottom falls out of the real estate industry again, then we're screwed. And so how do I diversify my income and follow my passion? And so it was scary, because I was and then what were my clients going to think, and was my husband still going to have enough business? And I was the one that started our real estate you know, I was 23 years he's 19, but I was the face of the company, the face of the team. So like, will he still generate enough business without me helping him? All those things were super scary. Well, it turns out, fast forward, he's a better realtor than I ever was, and although he is completely different than me, he still gets the same thing accomplished. So it all worked out, and I'm doing what I love, and he's crushing, you know, his side of the world. And I still help in the real estate business. I still run our team and train and teach and all that kind of stuff, but my day to day, full time role is putting good thoughts and ideas out into the world and inspiring others from stage.

Lesley Logan 9:34  

So let's talk about those good thoughts and ideas because, and we kind of alluded to at the very beginning, we were talking about these DMs. You talk about authentic, like building authentic relationships and at the time I'm recording this you guys, which is, you know, a little bit before this comes out, I ran, I was at a real estate event. That's not a real estate event. It was a tequila tasting event, which, like, hello, I'm tequila. I'm in. I have liked, I want to do tequila sommelier. That is my next dream. If you if I disappear from this earth, I'm probably learning tequila you guys. So just know that. So I'm at this tequila event, and it's basically the way that he builds relationships, friendships, connects with people, and that's he's like, I don't do any of the things. This is how I do it. I had no idea what he does actually like until the day. But at any rate, I ran into a friend who I've known since, like, 15 years ago in LA, she and I both moved to Vegas, didn't know it, because, like, where we used to cross paths had changed, so I got to have, like, a sit down coffee date with her, and we're talking about how hard it is as an adult to build good friendships, great friendships. And I don't have children, so I don't even have the excuse of running into parents I may or may not, like, like, I have to just, like, look around a coffee shop and wonder, like, is that a future person for me, but in, everyone who's listening here, most every business requires good, authentic relationships, most hobbies, most like, fulfillments in life doesn't matter. So we can go business or personal, but like, everything kind of, I think, plays into the same thing. The authentic relationships are what make this world go round. How do we do that? 

Barb Betts 11:06  

Yeah, great, great question. So, you know, one of my biggest mantras is in life is to have a real relationship with anyone else, you first have to have a relationship with yourself. I think the biggest problem we have in life is we're trying to build relationships with others, and we don't even know who we are. And so when we show up to these relationships, when we show up to these conversations, we're being fake, and we're trying to people-please, and we're trying to make the other person like us by not being who we really are. And when that happens, they're building a relationship with an inauthentic version of you. I like to say something to the effect of relationships are a mirror of yourself. You are only capable of building a relationship with someone else to the capacity you have one with yourself. So like what you see in you is what you will attract in others. And until we clean up the relationship with ourselves, we can't build one with anybody else. 

Lesley Logan 11:57  

Oh, Barb. 

Barb Betts 12:00  

It's the truth. I learned it the hard way. And then when I when I talk about this, I also stand on stage and tell people that this version that you are seeing up here right now, I was not this version five years ago. And so this is not something that I'm telling you. Everyone knows when they're 25 years old, absolutely not. But can 25 year olds learn it a lot sooner than potentially you and I have? Absolutely. I think problem is we have to have the courage to do it. 

Lesley Logan 12:22  

Yeah, because I do think I appreciate you saying that like I think the older we get, the harder it is to kind of unpack the different masks we might have been wearing, some of us wearing because maybe we have a neuro divergence. And so we think we need to have those masks. Some of them are learned because of how we're grown up. And so then you have to unpack that and also recognize how long you've been carrying it. And then you have to get to know yourself. And that's so hard. Every time I hear like, getting to know yourself, I think of runaway bride when Julia Roberts is trying to figure out how she likes her eggs. Like, I think that's the perfect example of like, I don't know, do I like? 

Barb Betts 12:56  

Well, this is so I always tell people I have, like, a big beef with the word authenticity, and yet that's what I speak on. I have a beef with this word because it's the most overused under explained word ever. It was Merriam Webster's word of the year in 2023 yet everyone has a different definition of it. The problem with the word authenticity is people think authenticity means throwing up your life on somebody. And I always say that's called oversharing. That is not authenticity. So one of the things you you said it in a different container a second ago, is, I'm so tired of this mantra of people telling people, and in self-help books and on Instagram posts and everywhere else, just be yourself. Just be authentic. And my question to audiences is, do you even know what that means? Do you even know what it means to be yourself. And the problem I have with the word be is, be is very performative. What do you want to be for Halloween? What do you want to be when you grow up? It's futuristic. It's performative. It's not real. It's not in real time. And so what I teach audiences is, what helped me tremendously, is reframing this conversation around authenticity and giving it not necessarily a new definition, but a new action to get there. And so what I've come up with, what I've used, what I've seen in my own life, is that authenticity isn't about doing anything. Authenticity is about undoing everything that isn't you and you said it right? Layers of performance, layers of protection, the masks we've been wearing, the perfect mom title, the perfect friend title, the perfect Pilates instructor, title all of these titles and things that we've been told we have to be so we try to be them, but we're really not them, or we're not them in the way that someone else wants us to be so how do we start undoing these things that have been holding us back? And for me, personally, it to, you said it, mine started on the playground when I was a little girl. I was overweight, I was not cute. I had coke bottle, thick glasses, I had braces. I had like five strikes in the you're the left out weird kid department. 

Lesley Logan 15:01  

Barb, we and I, we would have been friends. 

Barb Betts 15:03  

I was lonely. I was sat by myself, ate lunch by myself more times than I can count. I was also an old child, so I didn't go home to a bunch of, you know, siblings running around. And so what I always tell people is I became a professional on the playground of fitting in. I became a professional at turning myself into whatever someone else wanted me to be, to be their friend. Problem with that is that eight year old little girl never put those masks down. I kept wearing them my whole adult life. And that's the problem. We don't have enough courage or self-reflection, to sit back and go, you know, is this really how I want to show up in the world? Because you know what it is deep down inside, everybody does. And if someone has to tell you what it is, that's not authenticity, because that's someone else's opinion, right? So. 

Lesley Logan 15:56  

Well, I had perm bangs, just just the bangs part.

Barb Betts 16:01  

Just the bangs. 

Lesley Logan 16:02  

And and I will say, like, I love that I wore a flower girl dress to school one day. But also, I'm sure that's the day that people are like, well, that's like, you guys a big it's I went to school in the 80s. So this would have been '88, '89 a pink, like pink, big dress with the big bows, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I know I looked good and I had tennis. I was Punky Brewster before it existed. But for sure, for sure, so I know that's what changed, and now that's why I wear, you know, tool now. 

Barb Betts 16:40  

Oh my gosh, yeah, I I love it. I put a picture up on the screen of me, and I always give the audience a second to realize that is me circa 1986 because they're literally looking at the picture and looking at me like, there's no chance that's her. Because some people are like, Oh, your childhood wasn't that bad. You weren't and then they see a picture and they're like, my my friends, when I show them the picture, I'll just pull it out at dinner, and they pee their pants, and these are friends that have been friends of mine for 20 years, and they're like, no chance that's you. Like, yeah, it is. 

Lesley Logan 17:13  

So I want to, so, okay, we have to do the undoing. We have to, you know, really, truly find what authenticity is within ourselves, and I do. I'm with you, by the way. Okay. Side note, there was a podcast that did the war on dictionaries, and if you it's you're wrong about podcasts, you guys, that came out last year, you have to listen to it, because it's about why Merriam Webster became the dictionary that we all buy. It's so fascinating. I mean, who knew that could be fascinating? This whole book about it, at any rate, because I feel like authenticity is like an umbrella term for, like, vulnerability and all these different things. So you hit all that. So okay, and you mentioned that our relationships are a mirror of ourselves, so they can only go as deep as we can go as deep with ourselves. In the undoing does does that and making really? Does that make it easier to make new friendships? Does that make it hard to let go, because now I feel like you have to let go of other relationships like, and you're a relationship expert. Should we be letting go of people? 

Barb Betts 18:08  

Well, if they truly don't fit who you really are, right? If you truly are not being yourself with them, and then when you are yourself with them, if you're not accepted, not appreciated, not felt loved, then absolutely there are friendships and relationships that I realized I was carrying on to because I thought they were the cool people to be with. And it turns out that they're really not, and they don't love me for who I really am, or my voice or my opinion. So I share it in a simple formula, and we don't have to get deep into each one of them, but I'll just give you the high level of the three things. There's lots of things you can do to start unraveling, but the three things that like changed my life the most that I feel like are the three that most specifically women deal with, men too, but really women, the first is to stop hiding, right? Because I always say, when you hide who you are, you limit who you can become. And I have a whole hair loss journey that you know very well. I wear wigs full time, and that's really what transformed my life is when I was going through this hair loss journey, and about five years ago, I decided to rip the band aid off. I was told my hair is never coming back by a very well-respected hair surgeon, and I decided to transition to human hair wigs, came out publicly on social media about it, changed my life. And that's how I know when you stop hiding behind who you really are, right, you can become who you're really designed to be. The second piece that I always talk about is we have to reframe comparison. I think comparison is the thief of authenticity, and I think it's the number one trap as adults, we get into. Social media, at your job, in your career, right? Some other Pilates owners doing better than me. I hate them. Why can't I be like them? All of the things? So when I say reframe comparison, what I mean is, instead of comparing yourself to someone else, instead, come from curiosity, like, they are showing you the path to success. They're showing you that you can do it. You just have to do it in your own way. And get curious about what are they doing? What's their background? What season of life are they in? Maybe you're not in that same season. Like you just said, you don't have kids. You can get in a van and travel the world. If another Pilates owner or, you know, instructor is comparing themselves to you and Brad's ability to do that, but they have three children at home. Guess what? You're running a race you can't win, but we still do it. You think, Oh, they've got it all together. Oh, they made the perfect lunch, or they did this, or they, you know, whatever, their top producer, and I'm not. And so reframe comparison with curiosity, and then the third, and people always think I'm crazy when I say it, until I unpack it, is we have to embrace self-doubt, right? We look at self-doubt and imposter syndrome as this negative feeling, and it's not. Self-doubt, I believe, is the space where your confidence is actually born, right? If you don't have some kind of doubt, you're not going anywhere. We all have it. And if you tell me you don't have doubt, I would argue that you're not being authentic, right? Imposter syndrome, right? I'm so tired of imposter syndrome being put in this container as you're a fraud or you're a fake. Imposter syndrome is simply a sign you're growing, you're stepping into some new version of you, right? It's like we have to look at these as green lights, not stop signs, and we have to push through them, because that is how you build confidence from the inside. It's not given to you. It's truly built by you stepping into these new containers that you need to be in, new rooms you need to be in new opportunities, new everything. And so I think those are the three biggest things that I help people with, is really breaking through those. And when you do those, when you stop hiding, you're breaking down your walls, right? When you learn to turn comparison into something positive, you rewire your brain. You're looking at it as like envy and as success, and I can do that. And then when you embrace self-doubt, right? You're taking something that's completely normal, and you're stepping through it, which is how you, how you, I believe, break through the walls. 

Lesley Logan 22:01  

I couldn't agree more with all that. I actually like the one reason I think I love that Pilates is in my life as long as it is, no matter what facet it's become, it's because it's a way that I'm allowed to be curious in my body, right? Like, like, why is this exercise so hard today It wasn't hard yesterday? Like, it's a way to practice curiosity, which is something that like, for better, for worse, the way the education system was when I was growing up, you're not curious. You memorize and you get the answer right, or you get it wrong. So I it's taken as an adult, this way of practicing being curious, because that's not something that's natural for me. I want to highlight the self-doubt thing, because I think that is so good, because I would be like, with this imposter syndrome. I remember Seth Godin going, Yeah, well, if you're new at something, of course you're going to feel that because you're new. And it's like to me, I just tell people, congratulations, you're not a narcissist. A narcissist will never feel that way and the way that you just said it. It's so funny, because I didn't realize I have a process. I will come up with an idea. I will then have self-doubt. I have to go through that so that I can go, Well, what am I doubting about it? How do I either get rid of that or, like, learn the thing I need to learn, or research the thing I need to do, whatever I've got this project that I'm working on this year. And of course, as soon as I said I want to do it, I immediately was like, who am I to do this? What, like, Well, how would I solve that problem? How do I solve that problem? And in going through the self-doubt questions, I can figure out the things, and now I have even more confidence in the thing that I'm doing, because I went through the things that I was doubting and explored what that was. And I think that your positive reframe. I think every single person, if they can go, Oh, I feel like that's a load off of your shoulders right now, I feel free. 

Barb Betts 23:37  

It is, well, you said it, right. Okay, so when you feel the doubt and you truly don't know how to do something, or don't know, then you get help, shore up your weaknesses, pull in people around you, or truly understand you have been you have been gifted this opportunity. You've been invited into this room, whatever it may be, because someone else, or the universe, God, whoever, sees something in you that you can't see in yourself yet. But if you don't embrace that and you hold yourself back, you're not going to go anywhere in life, right? You tell me, you show me any successful person that you put on a pedestal that you think has never doubted themselves. The difference is, they know they're imperfect. They know they're going to make mistakes, and they choose to show up anyways, right? Think about Gary Vee. Everyone worships Gary Vee. Gary Vee is amazing, right? He's up on this world level that so many of us are like, Oh my god. Started out selling wine on the internet, on YouTube, you think he knew what he was doing? Absolutely not, right? You think he was comfortable in video? Go back and watch him. He was not, right? He did it anyways, and he was okay with showing up. Clearly, he's very authentic and does whatever he wants to do, but people love him for it. So when you you mentioned earlier like this whole like leaving people behind, and what do we do? And does it change who we are? It absolutely does. It 100% does. But what I know for a fact, because when you choose authenticity, when you choose to show up real, relatable and human, I know for a fact, you give others permission to do the same, and that is the foundation of human connection, and that's how you build real relationships. When I chose to go through my hair loss journey, take my hair off on social media and show everybody my basically bald front of my head, I upleveled my relationships big time in ways I never could have imagined. Because it turns out, people want authenticity. They want humanity, and it gives others permission to do the same with you, and that's how you create a real relationship. 

Lesley Logan 25:42  

Yeah, oh, I got chills. I I think that's so interesting that we we fear losing people by changing who we are, because we're becoming more of ourselves. We're, like, truly not just leveling up, because that can be a little masculine, but, like, I'll just say that leveling up ourselves, right? We're like, like, owning all the things about ourselves, owning our imperfections, owning our desires and all that. And other people will level up they'll be like, Oh my gosh, like, they're being pulled with you, and that requires and then some people won't. Sometimes those people just fall off. You don't even notice it. And they'll be like, Oh my God. I haven't talked to the person in a year, and that is a sign they let themselves go. They let themselves out the door. 

Barb Betts 26:27  

Yup, well, and I also always want to make sure that I give this footnote, because what I don't want people to think is, you know, there's a filter that you have to put yourself through. And I hate using the word filter, but it's the best way for people to understand, right? Because authenticity without this filter can be arrogance, can be a turn off. Because what I always say is, there's different rooms you're in. There's different relationships you have where you bring your authenticity to the table. And you can't bring your whole self everywhere you go. If you bring your whole self everywhere you go to a boardroom, versus maybe, how maybe you have a funny personality and you're a jokester that may be okay at home or around the dinner table with your friends, but it may not be appropriate in the boardroom with the senior vice president of your company. May not be into your jokes that day, right? So what I always say is authenticity with an emotional intelligence lens, being aware of who's around you. What environment are you in? What's appropriate, what's not is how you have influence in life. It's how you build these real influential relationships. Because I may have a political opinion, everyone has one, it may not be appropriate to talk about that with a new client, right? It doesn't mean I'm being inauthentic. It just means I'm choosing not to share that part of me with somebody. And so what I always say is the parts of you that you do bring have to be authentic. So like, you don't have to bring your whole self everywhere you go, the parts of you that are showing up have to be real, and they have to be authentic. 

Lesley Logan 28:07  

Yeah, I love that so much, because, like with the ADHD brain that I have, if I were to bring my whole self to every meeting, people would not be able to follow along. 

Barb Betts 28:18  

Correct, 100%, like, you're authentic. You just said, I have ADHD that's being authentic. Yeah. 

Lesley Logan 28:25  

Yeah. So I and like, I think, like, it's having that okay, so in this space, this is how I can at least, so, okay, right? There was all the ADHD that you just experienced, because my brain went to three places being able to say, Okay, I'm aware that I'm going to be going in a different direction where this conversation is going. I promise it's going to circle back, because my brain is going to get us there. But yeah, I have to know that. And if I, if I mask that, then probably the best ideas are going to come for me, because that's what I'm good at. But also I'm not going to share the four other thoughts that happened over here at the same time. 

Barb Betts 29:00  

Correct. Yes, yes. You know what it is. You know, some people have quirks. Some people have things about them that are, you know, appropriate for, again, your friends at the bar, but they're not appropriate for the boardroom or for the sales call or for the Pilates class while you're teaching, or, you know, things like that. So I think it's just understanding that what can't happen is you masking and pretending to be somebody or something you're not. That's what can't happen that people can smell and sniff out right away. 

Lesley Logan 29:30  

Yeah, they can. And I and to go back to, like, this whole thing, like, it doesn't matter what the relationships are for, whether it's because you want a partner or you want a best friend, or you want a dog walking buddy, or you want, you know, to get a sale out of someone, you have to bring the authentic parts of yourself to that experience so that they can also make the correct decision as well. 

Barb Betts 29:52  

Yes, because you don't want people that want to be friends with the not real you. Because then that's why your relationship never goes deep. That's why you never feel connected. That's why you never feel excited about seeing them. All of those should be clues that either you're not showing up real or they're not the real friendship for you, and not everybody is going to be your friend, not everybody is going to have a relationship with you, and that is okay. I promise you, the real people that you are meant to be surrounded with will come out of the woodwork when you embody this, you know, authentic way of showing up in life. 

Lesley Logan 30:32  

Yeah, oh my gosh, I'm glad you highlighted it's okay. Like, I grew up thinking like everyone needed to like me. Right? I like, how many people are, like, nodding their head, like grew up that ever needed to like me. And the reality is, is like, I that's not true, and also doesn't set you up for being able to be yourself in every room. And there's, I saw something that that I've quoted him many times, and so, just so you know, if you've ever heard me say, I don't I saw on a shirt or, like, a bag you could take the grocery store. It's, like, it said, not, it's, not everyone like me I'm not a taco. And, like, because there's all, there's a taco for everybody, and I'm just, but I'm not going to be everyone's taco. 

Barb Betts 31:11  

100% 100% Well, and, you know, and it's also, you know, again, we don't have to go down this rabbit hole, but we were talking about it earlier, about how do you build relationships with others? And so you have to show up authentic and real. But then I also believe there's three key factors to every relationship. So this might because I know we wanted to talk about, obviously, the relationship with ourselves, but how do we build these relationships with others? And so I'll share that the I created a formula, I wrote about it in my new book, that there's three things that have to be present always in order to have a real relationship. And these are the things I think people miss. And I don't care if this is sales, leadership, friendship, family, romantic, I don't care what it is they have to have these three things. And I call it the VVR formula, and it's visibility, vulnerability and relatability. You don't have those three things, you can't have a relationship, and it works with yourself too. So talk about visibility, right? You have to be present. You have to show up. When people are like, I don't have relationships that I want, I don't have friends, well, are you actually visible? Are you showing up? Are you present? And then when you are present, are you really present? Or are you on your phone, right? Like, are you at the cocktail party, networking and trying to meet people, or are you in your phone in the corner, right? Yeah. Then there's vulnerability. You have to have some level of vulnerability with every other human in your life, or you don't have a relationship, right? And vulnerability can be everything from just telling your team, you know, I don't know the answer to that, right? Or it can be, I don't like the new software either, that they're asking us to use, but guess what? It's what we've been handed and we have to learn it, right? Then there's all the way level of vulnerability, where you're sharing your deepest, darkest secrets with your best friends. I'm not sick, because when people hear vulnerability, they think, I don't want to be vulnerable. Well, you have to have some level of it, or you can't have a human relationship. And then the third is relatability, right? You have to have some point of connection. And this is the thing I think people force. I think people force this, right, if you do not have something that you can relate to each other on whether it be a favorite sports team, or you both love Pilates, or you both love wine or tequila, or you both love a certain sport, or you both have kids, you have to have some kind of relatability with another human. It's why, when you go to networking events and cocktail parties and everything else, and you know, you and I have been in these rooms where someone wants to be in your contact information, and you're like, nope, not saving that in my phone. Pretend I save it, but not saving it. It's because you had nothing in common when you had your conversation. If you did, you would have wanted to save that information and create a relationship. So when were talking about building relationships with others. I just want everyone to know that I believe if you focus on those three things, how can I be more visible? How can I be vulnerable, and how can I be relatable? You will create more relationships than you know what to do with them, if you want them. 

Lesley Logan 33:47  

Yes. And I also, I was just thinking like, you know, I have some friendships that the relatability changed during covid, they got they had a baby, I moved, all these different things. And so our friendships have changed. They didn't disappear, but we are finding new things to relate on, because the major things in our lives aren't relatable anymore. And so I think relationships can go through that. And if you really want them to stay, you find a new thing to be relatable on. 

Barb Betts 34:12  

100% or or visibility, which is also the proximity principle, which is also the law of propinquity. Try to say that 10 times fast. The law of propinquity basically says that the greater the physical or psychological proximity is between people, the greater the chance they'll have a relationship, right? So if you are not either physically or psychologically in someone's proximity, you're not going to have a relationship. So we wonder why in sales, our relationships drift away. Well, are you seeing them or marketing to them? Because if you're not, they're not coming back. Right. Are they showing up to class? If they're not showing up to class, you can't, but you can't have a relationship with them. So how do you get back in visibility with them? How do you get back in proximity with them? That's why it's first, because you're right. Relationships drift away, good or bad, for various different reasons. But if you want to bring it back to center, then get visible with somebody. Get vulnerable with somebody. Vulnerability can be texting Lesley and being like, Lesley, I miss you, I miss seeing each other in six months. I really miss you. Can we get together? That's being vulnerable because you're admitting I haven't been in touch with you. Right? And then relatability, finding a new point like to your like you just said, you have friends that all of a sudden started having kids during Covid, and you guys don't have kids, and so they're doing off all the little tiny kids stuff, and you and Brad aren't interested in guess what? That's normal. You don't have to be interested in little kids stuff, right? So that's creates a little bit of a relatability difference. But can you have a relatability on something else that you're both interested in?

Lesley Logan 34:15  

Yeah, I feel like I could talk to you for hours. We are going to take a brief break and find out where I can get your book, because obviously I my interest is piqued. There's going to be other things to go along with once we get the first step down, then there's the next steps. And so we'll take a brief break and find out and get those books. 

Lesley Logan 34:15  

All right. Barb, where? Where are your books sold? 

Barb Betts 34:15  

Books are sold everywhere. 

Lesley Logan 34:15  

What's the name of the book? 

Barb Betts 34:15  

The book is The Relationship Advantage: Unlocking the Life-Changing Power of Human Connection. Just look under the relationship advantage. Easiest way to find it, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books a Million, as they say, with a deep commercial voice, everywhere books are sold. 

Lesley Logan 34:15  

Yes, well, we're gonna get your book because I definitely, I mean, I've over the four years, I need to know you in this topic. Like every time I hear you speak, I hear a different way of it going, and I think it's the way of the future, even if people think it's AI, it might be AI, relationships are gonna be the thing. Not everyone wants to play with your AI tool if they don't know who you are. 

Barb Betts 34:15  

Well, that's why I wrote the book, and I wrote it in three sections, and and just to give you the high level overview, it's the first section is all the relationships with yourself. The second section is, how do you build effective relationships with others? And then the third section is how relationships make an impact in your life. One chapter on sales, one chapter on leadership, one chapter on building community. And then the final chapter is how relationships are our legacy. 

Lesley Logan 34:15  

You're brilliant, and also, you know, you're you're, you're Barb Betts on the on the gram, correct? And on LinkedIn, and all the things? 

Barb Betts 34:15  

Everywhere grams are found. 

Lesley Logan 34:15  

Yeah, okay, you have actually given us so many tools. I feel like we could just, like, clip it and go, there's your Be It Action Items. But just in case, you have other things to add to that, bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, what you have for us? 

Barb Betts 37:21  

I would say it comes down to the authenticity. It comes down to stop hiding, let your walls down, let people in. Admit you're not perfect. Admit where you're you know your vulnerabilities are. It definitely comes down to pay attention to how you feel on social media. Pay attention to what you're looking at, how you're comparing yourself to others. Really try to change that neuroscience in your head and reframe that into comparison. And I promise you, one of the things I tell people all the time is just DM somebody when you feel right, that that effort to compare DM Lesley and be like, Oh my gosh, your road show looks amazing. I'm so proud of you, even though you're looking at Lesley like, so successful. Everybody like her, right? And then the third, obviously, is when you next time you feel that self-doubt, friends, please look at it just in your head, think green light. Think green light. Think green light. That means put your foot down on the gas pedal and go. That is your clue to push harder, to go, to go do the thing, because it will change who you are.

Lesley Logan 38:17  

I love those. I love all of this. This whole conversation has lit me up. I'm so excited. You guys, please let Barb Betts know what your favorite parts were, what your takeaways were. If you were envious then you know what to do, she just gave you the tool to how to say that. Send this to a friend who needs to hear it. You know also it might that might even be a way of being vulnerable, like, hey, this really meant a lot to me. I think it could be really great for us both to figure this out. So I just think that there's so many different ways to take this. Go get Barb's book. I'm gonna get it wherever books are sold, and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 38:48  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 39:31  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 39:36  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 39:40  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 39:47  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 39:50  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Turning a stressful airport “system reset” into an epic life win starts with one simple choice: how you respond. In this Friday reflection, Lesley Logan shares a powerful reminder to age with mischief and audacity, not just grace. After a runway delay and unexpected travel hiccup, she explores what it looks like to stay grounded and shift your energy in the moment instead of spiraling. From celebrating a major podcast milestone to the joy of reconnecting with childhood friends, this episode is your nudge to take ownership of your self-care and create your own kind of win.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Reconnecting with childhood friends is so good for the soul.
• Accomplishing a greatest pivot with like-minded people.
• Reaching the top 1% podcast because of authenticity.
• Choosing patience during travel delays creates an enjoyable night.

Episode References/Links:

• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions
• Ucanoutdoors Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ucanoutdoors
• Creative Soul Pilates - https://www.instagram.com/creative_soul_pilates 
• Megan Linney - https://www.instagram.com/meganlinney

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday.

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:03  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:48  

Hi, Be It babe. How are you? Happy Friday. Welcome to your first Friday in April. We did it. We're here. Ah, I'm currently in Europe, but still being inspired by you. And have some wins of yours to share, and couple wins of mine and and some inspiration and a mantra and something like that, right? Like, that's how this episode goes. And I'm just really grateful for you, to be honest. So the inspiration from the interwebs that I was like, oh my god, I have to tell the Be It babes, that's you. By the way, if you're listening, you're brand new here, hi. This is from @ucanoutdoors. I don't know what that means, @ucanoutdoors. That's what that means. Okay, how about that? Well, the link's in the show notes they shared this post, it has handwritten it says, your time on Earth is limited. Don't try to age with grace, age with mischief, audacity and a good story to tell from a healed life. I am obsessed. Let me say that one more time. Don't try to age with grace. Age with mischief, audacity and a good story to tell. Well, we've got some good stories for your guys to tell. 

Lesley Logan 1:45  

So we always do a little win of yours. And so I got two from you guys. I was like, hey guys, I want some wins. You know you can send them in right? beitpod.com/questions where you can send your questions in and your wins in. And you know what you might need to hear your win from the past on a day that it comes up, because, like, sometimes we're just having a day, right? Like, I'll be honest, I woke up and today was a day, so I'm excited to be talking and recording with you, because today was just a day, and that's just because I had a crappy flight. More on that another moment. Okay, so @creative_soul_pilates, I got to hang out with a childhood friend and reconnect. It was so good for the soul. That's so fun a friend from childhood that you still hanging out with, that's amazing. I don't know that, but I have seen on TV, and it looks so delightful, I can totally see how that is for the soul.

Lesley Logan 2:36  

And I don't say that to be like, don't, don't feel sorry for me. Like, but I that those of you who have those childhood friends that like it's good for your soul, I love that for you, I think that is the cool. What a win that you guys could just evolve and grow and change and stay in touch with each other in a positive, supporting way. That means you're two badass humans. That's really what it means. All right, @meganlinney, she'd been on the pod before, by the way, she wrote, I've accomplished my greatest pivot and accelerated timing with like-minded people. Infinite wins. And I couldn't agree more, I've been watching from the sidelines. I'm so happy for you. You know, you really have, like, talk about no one, no one likes the word pivot anymore. I think it became the new the new word no one can hear. It's like, nailed on a chalkboard. But honestly, like, sometimes you need to do it. And when you do it, you want to do it like you did Megan, because you are absolutely a model for how to pivot with well, you know, like I started the podcast with audacity and a good story to tell. 

Lesley Logan 3:33  

All right, my win. So two things. One, I don't think I've actually done this with you guys on a FYF. We're a top 1% podcast because of you. So thanks so much. I think I said it on one of the recap episodes, but I just want to make sure I say it here, in case you listen to these more, that's a huge win. That's like a five year in the making win, like, just absolutely wonderful, and without ads and without, you know, doing crazy, wild, clickbaity stuff. So just really proud that we could do it authentically and with you. And I felt like this because of you. My win is, okay, so I was like, I was having a great day. I was in Sacramento for like, what was supposed to only be, like, 30 hours, not even like I supposed to see 25 hours, and it turned it into 30 something hours. And that's because I was just like, having the best time. I was really proud of myself. I was even outgoing by myself at a bar at the lounge. Not my normal thing. I was allowing myself to, like, just enjoy, like, people watching and what was going on, and be part of it, and part of the Olympics and all this stuff. And, you know, it's just really great. And I was like, oh, look at me. I'm like, oh, on this plane, it's just gonna be so easy. And get on the plane, and we get down the runway, and I was like, okay, babe, I'll see you in an hour. Make sure you're on time. Don't be late. I don't want to go to bed late. And we don't take off, and we're just sitting there, and it's like, not great, it's like, what is happening? And they come on, and they go, okay, we have to reset the system. And I'm like, I don't know that I want to be on a plane, that they're resetting the system while I'm on the runway. What? So anyways, that didn't work. They turned us around and we got off, and they're like, okay, we're gonna figure out what's next. And I'm like, what's next? I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, that took me three months to get you have got to get me home. Like, I don't know if I would have a good night's sleep at a hotel. You've got to get me home tonight. And so I sat there, but I tried to be really patient. I just like, I'm not going to be like, some Karen who is going to go up and yell, I'm just going to, like, sit here and be chill. I mean, I just had a great time at the bar, like, I'm just going to sit here and be chill. And I sat there long enough for them to say, okay, meet back at this gate in one hour. And I was like, I'm gonna take myself out to dinner now. So took myself out to dinner and got on the plane, and I just let myself, like, let I decided to see what it would be like if I didn't get upset about something. And it was quite nice. So it was annoying, it was frustrating. It was all the feelings. And I was just like, what if I just, like, enjoy that I have more time in an airport and I can have a burger and, like, you know, and I'll say, like, it meant that the night was really enjoyable. Brad picked me up and we had fun. I found this account that was like singing bad bunny songs with with the Spanish lyrics, so I could read the Spanish lyrics, but with English words, so that I could hear the English in the cadence of the words of bad bunny so that when I listen to the bad bunny songs in Spanish as they are intended, I am not just feeling the vibe and the joy of the music and the art. I'm actually like, I have like this. I can. I know what they're saying. I know what he's saying. I can, I can be in more joy. So I just let myself off some fun. Because what are you gonna do? Get mad about it. So I'm really proud about that. That's a I think that's an epic life win. Not gonna lie. 

Lesley Logan 6:50  

All right, now for a mantra for you to end this amazing week, I hope, even if it was crap, because I don't look I don't know what's going on the world when you're listening to this, you know, I record these early. This is obviously in February. The Olympics are on. But you know, I hope that these episodes just are like a nice little like breaking your day, reminder that there's still a mantra that we can tell ourselves to just get ourselves through what's going on. So the responsibility for self-care is my own. The responsibility for self-care is my own. The responsibility for self-care is my own. You know, I don't, you know, I believe in that, you know I believe in that. I have a guest coming up on the pod, and we're gonna talk about how self-care is a system. And I, you know, I love that. I love me. My ADHD brain is loving me a system. So all right, loves, now, go have a great day. Share this podcast with a friend who needs to hear it. Share your favorite interview, your favorite recap episode. It means the world to me. We're in the top 1% but guess what? There are top .5% and that just means more amazing people being it till they see it. And I think it's an easier world to live in when everyone is acting like the person that they want to be, instead of waiting impatiently to get there. Have an amazing day. 

Lesley Logan 8:05  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 8:48  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 8:53  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 8:58  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 9:05  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 9:08  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.