Be You Not Them

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday's episode which was all about passing on that sweet knowledge whether it be advice, expertise or a lesson learned. We also shared how we often find that sharing is NOT caring for some and why this is such an issue.

Our question for this week is: Have you ever seen someone suffer from not sharing their knowledge?

We'd love to hear your experiences and how it shaped you to share your own knowledge with others! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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THE POWER OF SHARING KNOWLEDGE. Have you ever received a new task with no direction? How about when learning something new on the job and there was no one willing to help out? This sounds familiar to ALL of us. Knowledge exchange is something that many keep close to their hearts either out of competition or job security. We see this happen between different generations, genders and even race. We dive into how sharing knowledge is SO key in not only providing a healthy team environment but also that it has a much BIGGER indirect impact than we realize. GET READY because we are about to call out some ish related to the hesitancy of sharing those little golden nuggets of wisdom.

[2:14] Knowledge Is Like Money. We introduce today's episode by opening up with two AMAZING quotes that highlight the importance of letting that lovely little expertise of yours be gold to the world:

• "The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself."

- Oscar Wilde

• "Knowledge is like money: to be of value it must circulate, and in circulating it can increase in quantity and, hopefully, in value." - Louis L'Amour

[3:41] Withholding Expertise. We learn from one of Nina's work experiences why some in the corporate world don't engage in knowledge exchange.

[9:05] Women NOT Supporting Women. Nina shares her experience that this issue is not only between generations but also between women, especially in technical fields.

[11:39] Negative Impacts Behind Withheld Knowledge. Nat and Nina share the following ways that impact how others feel when knowledge exchange is withheld:

• Being a burden
• Developing unhealthy competition
• Lack of cohesive team dynamic

[14:30] Another Complicated Layer. Nina dives into how there is another added layer of competition not only between women, but also minority women due to the scarcity of high level positions and why this is an issue

[16:30] Benefits of Knowledge Exchange. Nat and Nina discuss the amazing advantages of sharing knowledge which include:

• Reinforcing our own learning of something we are experts in
• Not reinventing the wheel
• Strengthening relationships among team members
• Helping others indirectly

[26:02] Challenge of Self-Awareness. Nat and Nina challenge leaders to reflect on their own experiences in not only identifying if they have ever been hesitant in sharing their expertise but WHY.

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Let's break the cycle and share that genius :)

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday's episode about letting go of our past and making peace with the choices, actions, and decisions made. We got a little teary eyed but the process of letting go requires healing in the present moment, today.

Our question for this week is: What is something beautiful that can happen when you let go of a past mistake?

We'd love to hear your experiences and how you turned failure into a revolutionary masterpiece! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

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IT'S TIME TO START HEALING. Are you ready for some crying? Because we definitely are! We recorded this episode at an interesting time, where both of us were having breakthroughs about past traumas and events from our pasts. This is not an episode where we're going to give you a lot of takeaways… we just want to chat. And we want you to know that we've been haunted by our pasts too. We'll share our experiences and why WE decided to let go and forgive ourselves.

[2:20] Letting Go In Order To Move Forward. Your future is a blank slate. "No matter what path has been, your future is spotless, you can create yourself a new starting right now" - Darren Hardy

[4:19] Punishing Ourselves. Why punish ourselves for something that happened already and we can't change? We discuss why staying stuck in our past mistakes can impede us from moving forward.

• Robbing ourselves of the present
• Stopping ourselves from doing things that are natural to us
• Holding onto things doesn't make us better

[10:00] The Stigma Around Feelings. You can't be happy all the time and that's ok. Film recommendation: Inside Out from Disney.

[11:48] Mistakes Teach Us, But You Need To Actually LEARN. Don't just run away or avoid it from happening again. What did you learn from that experience? What can you do next time? Why is it still affecting you? Sit. With. It. We feel like we need to avoid painful things.

[14:18] Rehashing These Mistakes. We keep our past alive when we're constantly repeating in our minds or to others - reliving our trauma and disappointments.

[16:45] You Need To Forgive Yourself. That is the first part of letting go. Well, "What if I hurt or disappointed someone in the past?" You still need to move on. Not everyone will forgive you, but you can express that "apology" through your actions and improving yourself.

[18:00] Natassia's Journey Of Letting Go. Natassia shares her shame of her past depression and hiding it away from everyone, including herself.

• She overcame her depression and then locked it away and pretended it never happened.
• Now that she's finally opening up about it, she finally feels like she's healing and making peace with what happened.
• The realization that she was ashamed of her past and for feeling depressed.
• Forgiving her past self for being depressed and instead being proud of taking the steps to find happiness again

[27:00] Nina's Journey Of Letting Go. Nina is starting to heal from trauma from her past relationships.

• She talks about how she gave her all in past relationships in order to feel loved and wanted.
• The realization that her being open and telling people about her experiences was actually NOT her healing, but a way for her to get attention and validation.
• Discovering that she needs to WRITE and process her feelings instead of telling people about them.
• Forgiving herself for giving so much of herself away and losing herself.

[34:40] The Feeling That We're Broken. We both felt like we were broken or that we harbored a darkness within us. We share a few quotes from our new favorite book, "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle.

• We talk about ourselves like we're BROKEN.
• Life is not supposed to be EASY.
• "I am haunted by nothing." - Glennon Doyle
• "She lets the rest burn." - Glennon Doyle

You are not broken. You are not irreparable. You NEED to forgive yourself and move on from your best.

[42:00] Closing Out - We're On This Journey Together. You need to feel all the things… the good, the bad, the ugly. What we are learning together on this journey is that we have to let it go and forgive ourselves in order to move forward.

Resources: Books and articles referenced:

• "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle.
• We shared a quote by Darren Hardy. Go check him out if you want to learn more about changing your mindset!

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Remember… your future is a blank slate <3

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to this week's mini pick me up episode! If you haven't checked out Monday's episode, we talked ALLLL about FAILURE and why we need to EMBRACE it...give it that little hug it deserves because of the clarity it brings. With that in mind, we ask ourselves this week:

What is something that you were scared of failing at but you did it anyways? What was the outcome?

We'd love to hear your experiences and how you turned failure into a revolutionary masterpiece! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

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Remember the first time you received your first "F" in school? You probably felt your stomach drop, followed by a surge of anxiety running through your body as you imagine the scenario of telling your parents. Whether it is failing an exam or a failed business idea, we have all walked this road before; however, we continue to approach failure with FEAR. Today, we're discussing why we need to EMBRACE failure and WELCOME it when it comes knocking on our doors.

[1:25] Not So Popular Opinion. We dive into why viewing failure in a more positive light is so RADICAL. Failure is often viewed with such fear and negativity and thus, it becomes more uncomfortable that it needs to be.

[3:04] Grade School Conditioning. Nat brings up a key point in how we are conditioned in school that failing is bad given our grading system. Also, what about those award ceremonies? Giving everyone an award for fears of making us fear that we are not enough?

[3:49] Decision Paralysis. The negative view of failure can lead us to decision paralysis. Basically out of this fear, we don't take that new job, try a new experience or date someone because of the fear of "what if it doesn't work out". Nat and Nina share their own experiences with decision paralysis below:

• Relationships: Nat would end a relationship as soon as she saw signs of it potentially failing. Nina had fears of relationships failing and thus, led her to fear getting out of them when they weren't right...all because she did not want to be alone.
• Career: Nina always had a fear of leaving engineering and thus, passed up opportunities that would open her up to a new path more aligned with her gifts.

[9:11] Aversion v. Ascension. What if we looked at failure as a way to ascend? We bring in some golden nuggets from Brendon Burchard's, Motivation Manifesto in how fear plays a role with aversion and ascension.

[10:50] Avoiding Reality. Similar to that of decision paralysis, avoiding reality is yet another fallback we get consumed by when we allow the fear of failure to rule our lives. Avoiding reality simply means that you default to inaction or choose comfortable solutions to avoid failure at all costs.

[11:55] Ask the BIG Question. One of our first takeaways is asking yourself, "what is the worst that can happen?" Being okay with that outcome enables you to get comfortable with the uncomfortable and 9 times out of 10 that "terrible outcome" doesn't even happen.

[14:00] Take Responsibility. We call you out to OWN up to your failure and take it as a valuable lesson that teaches you to either pivot to something new or learn from past mistakes.

[14:35] Resiliency. Failure teaches us how to not dwell in our weaknesses and helps us to develop a behavior to BE OK if something doesn't work out. We become EXCITED because instead of being defeated by failure, we see it as a chance to pivot or improve in an area of weakness.

[17:45] Idea of "Gaman". We dive into how other cultures, like the Japanese embrace failure as a path of perseverance.

[22:18] Fear of Uncertainty. Nat discusses how the fear of failure ties back to how uncomfortable we are with uncertainty and not having that control. For our lovely Type A ladies, this one's for you.

[24:15] Radical Mindset. Shifting our perspectives in seeing failure in a positive light is the ONE action we hope you can move forward with after listening to this episode. We challenge you to think of one way you can possibly do this.

Resources: Books and articles referenced:

• "Motivation Manifesto" by Brendon Burchard
• "The Confidence Code" by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
• Article "The art of perseverance: How gaman defined Japan"by Jullian Littler: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20190319-the-art-of-perseverance-how-gaman-defined-japan

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Failure doesn't define you...it REINVENTS you :)

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to this week's mini pick me up episode! This ones a tinyyyy one. We're going to continue talking and dissecting our favorite subject of the week: IMPOSTER SYNDROME. We will both answer this week's question and pitch it right back to our listeners!

This week we touched on our lovely little friend STRESS and how we not only need to MASTER it but recognize how much it actually impacts us. To further dig deep on our the roots of stress we ask this this week:

When did you realize that imposter syndrome was not just a YOU issue?

Anyone else had that enlightening moment yet? For both of us, we realized it at work. We'd love to hear when that A-HA moment hit you in the face. As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it! Love you all <3

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#18 - Saying BYE To Imposter Syndrome

YOU ARE NOT A FRAUD! Ever feel like you're totally unqualified for something you're responsible for? Whether it's leading a project at work or being a first-time parent, there's several times in our lives where we'll be overcome by imposter syndrome. Today, we're discussing WHY so many of us get plagued with this and ways we can work towards overcoming it before it affects us negatively.

[02:50] What IS Imposter Syndrome? For those of us who may not know what this term is, we go over the basics.

[04:20] Nina Discusses The Memo. How imposter syndrome affects people differently depending on your background. Minorities, women of color, etc. Past experiences can affect.

[08:00] Different Types of Imposter Syndrome. We discuss something that WE just discovered thanks to a brilliant article by the fab Hilliary Turnipseed (go check out our interview with her if you haven't!). There are 5 types of imposter syndrome that people can suffer from:

1. The Perfectionist
2. The Superhuman
3. The Natural Genius
4. The Individualist
5. The Expert

[15:50] How Does Imposter Syndrome Affect Us? Let's dive into how not letting go of these negative thoughts can impact us in other ways.

• Self-sabotaging behaviors
• Placing our self-worth on others
• Suffering from burnout
• Undermining your achievements

[23:15] Conquering Imposter Syndrome. How can we dropkick this nonsense?

• Writing down your achievements
• Framing affirmations around your imposter syndrome type
• Get a mentor or a coach to get you outside of your HEAD
• Stop saying "I WAS LUCKY"
• Stop assuming 'adulting' means you need to have all the answers
• Limiting exposure to those who make you question yourself

Resources: Books and articles referenced:

• "The Memo: What Women of Color Need to Know to Secure a Seat at the Table" by Minda Harts
• Article "Quick Guide to Understanding & Overcoming Imposter Syndrome" by Hilliary Turnipseed

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In our hearts...you're more than qualified ;)

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to this week's mini pick me up episode! These little joys of fun are bite size tidbits that feature a question tying into each weekly episode. We will both answer the question and pitch it right back to our listeners!

This week we touched on our lovely little friend STRESS and how we not only need to MASTER it but recognize how much it actually impacts us. To further dig deep on our the roots of stress we ask this this week:

What is a primary trigger of stress for you and how have you flipped that ish around?

We'd love to hear your experiences and all the wins of kicking those triggers out the DOOR! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

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MASTER YOUR STRESS. How many times have we heard this? Probably almost everyday of our lives but YET, we disregard it and wonder why our sleep is off or why we can't seem to catch a break. We are told to "manage" stress, do yoga and meditation to overcome it, take a long vacation; however, not all of this works for everyone and each situation may require different methods to help us through some of these stressful situations. Today we're talking about some of the lies we are told about stress, how vastly different it can impact us - and ultimately, how we can MASTER stress...step by step, it ain't a race y'all. Patience and grace is the name of the game here.

[1:59] Little Lies. We are told to 'manage' stress or that yoga and meditation are the golden tickets to stress relief; however, some of these don't work for everyone and not all of them are true. Nat & Nina dive into several lies we are told about stress which include:

• Managing vs. Mastering Stress
• Yoga & Meditation are the #1 Stress Reliefs
• Destress must always equal vacation

[8:16] How Stress Affects Us. The impacts of stress are so minimized that many times it is hard for us to believe that it is the sour of some of our ailments. Below are some examples that Nat & Nina discuss from their own experience:

• Stress hormones going wonky
• Sleep Anxiety
• Cellular Inflammation
• Depression and Anxiety...the sneaky cousins
• Physical responses
• Gut Issues

[18:17] Nat & Sleep Anxiety. Nat shares her story on how stress from her mother's hospitalization impacted her. She also shares a more recent experience that has led her to have GI symptoms.

[24:19] One Size Does Not Fit All. Nina reminds us that how we master stress from one situation to another may look different. Ultimately, we have to give ourselves some grace in figuring what works best in each situation.

[25:04] Nina & Physical Stress Responses. Nina shares some of her PTSD from her last job and how her body was physically manifesting the symptoms of depression and anxiety.

[30:55] Lessons Learned. Nat shares that prioritizing sleep has been her priority to help master her stress. Nina shares taking BREAKS.

[33:18] Mastering Stress Takeaways. Nat & Nina offer some ways to help master stress and not allow it to take over your whole life:

1. Being radical in your rest
2. Taking breaks at Work
3. Decide what form of rest and recovery is right FOR YOU
4. Get moving
5. Be one with nature if you dig it
6. Detach yourself from electronics (especially your phone)

[46:50] Friendly Reminders. Think about one step or just one small thing that you will do this week to help master stress.

Resources: You can look up these experts that both Nat & Nina have worked with in order to understand how better to MASTER stress:

• Devin Burke, Sleep Expert & Health Coach: https://www.devinburke.com/
• • Stress MASTERY- Don't Manage Stress Master It: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIhDMQKx7sQ
  • Best Ways to Reduce Stress: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFi_wnjSubY
  • Become a Master of your Stress - 4 Simple Steps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIAQsojwv18
• Ben Azadi, FDNP, Founder of Keto Kamp: http://www.benazadi.com/
• • How to Relieve Stress Depression & Anxiety with Dr. Nick and Sonya Jensen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyvSGSP9SvA&list=UUUh_MOM621MvpW_HLtfkLyQ
  • How Stress Wipes Out Our Immune System: https://www.facebook.com/thebenazadi/videos/1356408691222265/
  • How Stress Negatively Affects Your Body: https://www.facebook.com/thebenazadi/videos/4341440122548519/

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Now get out there and kick stress where the sun doesn't shine!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina