Be You Not Them

Welcome to this week's mini pick me up episode! This weeks question ties into the AMAZING interview we had with Angie Sanchez about emotions and emotional intelligence. We highly recommend you listen to this interview, which is episode 16, because we're still reeling from it!

This week, we're discussing the below quote from Angie:

"You get to determine when it end."

This in regards to depression, anxiety, or any mental turmoil you may be dealing with. Both of us really resonated with that quote because we BOTH had to make the choice in the past in order to get better.

We'd love to hear your thoughts to this quote as well! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review. We would really appreciate it!

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LET'S TALK ABOUT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE! Do you sometimes let your emotions swallow you whole? Do you even KNOW why you feel so strongly about certain situations? Today, we are honored to be talking to the badass Angie Sanchez, INHC. She is a health and mindset coach who specializes in Emotional Intelligence. She's going to share a lot of knowledge today about how to become more emotionally intelligent, conquering depression and much more!

[4:00] Find Out A Little More About Angie. She discusses exactly what an INHC is and what she does to help others.

[5:35] What Is Emotional Intelligence? We know some you may be thinking… "What the hell is that?!" Angie sheds some light on what EQ means and its importance.

[7:00] Angie Shares What Inspired Her Journey. MUST LISTEN. Angie shares her experience in college with a girl she knew who slowly started losing herself. Very inspiring story. Why it's so important to understand your emotions.

[15:00] Other Ways Depression Affects You. Aside from her weight gain, Angie shares how depression affected her. From social anxiety, to fatigue and more.

[18:50] Finding The Light and Hope Again. Finding what made her happy and motivated again, pushing her to get better.

[23:40] Why Do We Give Our Emotions So Much Power? Shedding light on how we verbalize and express our emotions. Our emotions are valid, but we allow ourselves to BECOME them. Angie describes how sometimes we attach ourselves to our emotions and our trauma that they become part of our identity.

"Feelings are fleeting. They come and they go"

[29:20] What Exactly Is An Empath? Angie discusses what HSPs are. Tips on how to combat getting drained if you are an empathetic person. UP your self care practices! Being sensitive isn't a bad thing.

"I always say, self care promotes giving others the best of you and not the rest of you."

[39:20] Understanding Preconceived Expectations. Why we need to understand the importance of verbalizing our expectations and setting up boundaries for ourselves.

"To be human is to also be in relationships, not just with others, but with yourself"

[45:15] Do Both Men and Women Struggle With Their Emotions? Do men ruminate like women do? We are ALL in our heads. We all create stories in our head, where we intensify or twist what really happens in our heads. Discern between facts and the story of the facts.

[50:35] Words Of Wisdom For Those Going Through Depression. You get to determine when it ends. Angie explains what this means based on her experience.

[54:05] What Is Your BYNT Moment? Closing out the interview with our typical question! Angie shares her moment that defines the statement "Be You Not Them"

We hope today's interview with Angie gave you a lot to think about. We're still blown away by her knowledge and experiences. We're also a bit obsessed with her… and hopefully you guys are too!

You can find Angie here:

• Instagram: @iamangiesanchez
• Website: https://www.angiesanchez.life

Resources:

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Feelings. Are. Fleeting.

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Mini Pick Me Up - The Lovely Envy Monster

Welcome to this week's mini pick me up episode! These little joys of fun are bite size tidbits that feature a question tying into each weekly episode. We will both answer the question and pitch it right back to our listeners!

This week, our question highlights what we discussed in Episode 15 which was all about taking off those hater shades, getting deep with our envy, and how it impacts our interactions and thoughts of others. In light of understanding where our envy may come from, we ask this week:

Is there a recurring theme shown throughout your envy in others?

We'd love to hear your answers to this question! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

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It is time to take off those hater shades. We see you...tryin' to hide behind them...acting like you have never envied someone before. Whether you like to admit it or not, we all have experienced some form of jealousy towards another's success. This spans not only in our careers but also finances, fitness and relationships. So today, we call ALL of us out on this. We dive deep into where it comes from and how we can turn envy into something inspirational for each and every one us.

[2:20] Seeing Green. Nat & Nina dive into how hate is REAL in the areas of financial and career success of others...they also admit to the envy they have both felt in this arena.

[5:06] Fitness & Relationship Jealousy. Envy is also in the fitness and relationship realm. Nina opens up to Nat on how she has felt about Nat's own relationship.

[10:06] Getting to the Root. Nat challenges us to think where do some of these feelings like envy and jealousy come from.

[11:31] Nagging Reminders. Sometimes, another's achievement reminds us of what we didn't achieve ourselves. We dive into how this is an issue when we face our own little envy monsters.

[13:06] The Iceberg Effect. Most of the time when we see a destination point, not the full journey of someone's success . Nat describes this as the "iceberg effect".

[14:33] Our lovely friend, Insecurity. Often our inner beliefs are colored by our insecurities. Nat and Nina dive into assessing where those insecurities come from. We challenge you to ask what your inner beliefs say about YOU.

[15:25] The Subconscious Mindset. Nat discussed the idea that sometimes we equate success with a negative outcome or thought process which actually inhibits us from actually experiencing that success.

[17:37] Woman on Woman Hate. Nat and Nina discuss some of the ways we as women hate on each other's success or lifestyles and how that leads to gossip.

[21:34] How to check ourselves on envying others

- Stop the CHISME

- Flip the script of envy in your mind with reinforcing positive thoughts

- Stop the comparison game

- Stay in YOUR lane, keep the focus on YOU

- This is NORMAL...don't beat yourself up for it.

- Be PRESENT, sit in what you are grateful for

Resources: You can look up the books and studies referenced in today's episode:

• "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth" by T. Harv Eker

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Get out there, take off those shades and spread some love!!!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to this week's mini pick me up episode! These little joys of fun are bite size tidbits that feature a question tying into each weekly episode. We will both answer the question and pitch it right back to our listeners!

This week, our question highlights what we discussed in Episode 14, which was all about why we seek external validation whether it is in work, relationships, self-image, etc.

Today, we are asking ourselves... What was a recent win that you celebrated yourself without seeking other's approval?

And it's not always about the big wins either, guys! We each share small wins that we celebrated this week that made us feel good. What about you? Have you took the time to reflect and celebrate your wins... without asking for validation from others?

We'd love to hear your answers to this question! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

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Baklava!

Nat & Nina

HOW TO LET GO OF THE NEED FOR APPROVAL. We have all been here. You got a promotion and share it with your social circle, only to be disappointed when several friends don't give you the reaction you expected. You post a cute selfie on Instagram and you constantly keep checking the amount of likes and comments. You're not alone and you're not the first! Today we're talking about why we seek approval from others - and how we can stop and look internally for validation.

[1:30] What Does Validation Mean? What is it and why do we seek it?

[2:10] Why Do We Seek Validation?

• Let's talk about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
• We are conditioned to seek validation from an early age
• Sharing childhood experiences

[10:30] Why We Need To Develop Boundaries

• Separationindividuation & autonomy
• Some people never break out of certain stages where we define our dependency with others

[14:30] Where We both Struggle With Self-Validation

• Nina's identity was in work and her romantic relationships
• Natassia's identity was in her looks and her career

[18:30] What worsens or makes us seek validation

• Social media. The "like" addiction.
• Media and advertising portraying societal norms and expectations.
• Setting expectations on others without them knowing. Why the expectation, what does it come from?

[24:40] Our Takeaways

• Taking time away from social
• Practicing self-validation: Celebrating your accomplishments
• Identifying areas and triggers of where your self validation rooted...where do you see yourself doing it the most?
• Strong in their faith and believe in a higher power
• Stop setting expectations for others (stop imposing those expectations)

We hope this episode helped bring to light where YOU might be seeking validation. Is it in your career? Is it in your appearance? We would love to hear your stories and your experiences. Remember, you are a badass and you don't need approval from anyone.

Resources: You can look up the books and studies referenced in today's episode:

• "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

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Now get out there and celebrate your wins!!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Are you ready for your little pick me up? This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Episode 13, which was all about putting a stop to making beauty our number one value.

We want to share that this is something that we BOTH have struggled with as well. We need to reflect and realize that while our body and our beauty is part of who we are, it shouldn't be our entire identity.

This weeks question is: Have you ever struggled with how you can be perceived due to your appearance or looks? How did it affect your identity?

Natassia talks about the mini-meltdown she had a few weeks back before her 30th birthday. Nina talks about learning to love her body and learning to not judge herself based on her weight.

We'd love to hear your answers to this question! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

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#11 - You Are More Than Your Looks

THE PRESSURE TO BE PRETTY. We're already going to warn you from the get-go that this is a topic that drives us nuts. Today's episode is all about how we as women are conditioned to feel like the number one thing women are valued for is their appearance. The issue with that is… society's beauty standards are constantly changing and we're placing our self-worth on something that is fleeting. We are more than just a pretty face.

[1:30] What Today's Discussion Is About - "We need to stop putting beauty as our number one value"

[2:50] How Does This Affect You Culturally?

• How the Latino and Brazilian cultures value beauty
• Societies ever-changing beauty standards.
• "Most women are not going to look like the women that society presents in ads and in movies"
• We are building unrealistic expectations

[6:45] We're Programmed To Judge People By Their Looks - It's human nature to make assumptions about somebody by how they look.

[10:00] How Media and Marketing Makes Us Believe It's Important For Us to Beautiful - the pressure to be attractive.

[11:50] Women's Looks, The Workplace & How We're Perceived

• Typical comments women receive in regards to their appearance
• Nat reads a study from the BOOK THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED that shows how women wearing makeup are perceived (seriously, this book sucks)
• The "Tony Soprano" effect for men compared to women when they're overweight - from The Confidence Code.
• "The data is devastating… only 2% of us actually think we're beautiful"

[25:35] Going Back to our Roots - It Also Starts With Family - How the women in your family talked to you about beauty ends up affecting your body image

[27:00] Natassia's Struggle With Her Looks - Dressing down and hiding her body at work so that she can be taken seriously. Worrying that if 'beauty' is all she has, then what happens once that beauty is gone?

[27:20] Our Takeaways For Today!

• Stop Judging Other Women - The Supermodel Effect.
• Don't compliment your female coworkers based off of their looks
• • "When people make you feel like the thing that stands out about you the most as a woman is your looks, that puts a lot of pressure on somebody especially when they have 0 control over how they look"
• Lead with your gifts. Recognize what YOU bring to the table.
• Where is your identity rooted? As always, get to the root.
• Watch how you talk to your children, sisters and friends.

We want to see you thrive and be the best person you can be. Make sure that your appearance and your beauty aren't the only thing you're valuing. Let us know your thoughts on today's episode and how it resonated with you!

Resources: You can look up the books and studies referenced in today's episode:

• "The Confidence Code" by by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
• "Cosmetics as a Feature of the Extended Human Phenotype: Modulation of the Perception of Biologically Important Facial Signals" Nancy L. Etcoff, Shannon Stock, Lauren E. Haley, Sarah A. Vickery and David M. House
• "Want to Be CEO? What's Your BMI?" by Leslie Kwoh, Wall Street Journal

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You are a multi-faceted, incredible being!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to this week's mini pick me up episode! These little joys of fun are bite size tidbits that feature a question tying into each weekly episode. We will both answer the question and pitch it right back to our listeners!

In episode 12, we had an amazing interview with Hilliary Turnipseed, Founder and President of Hill Street Strategies, a consulting firm focused on comprehensive talent acquisition, talent management and workplace culture solutions. She is incredibly passionate about women supporting and fighting for one another regardless of race, class, sexuality and ability.

Today we are discussing an incredible quote from Hilliary that really stuck with us:

"Your gift cannot be shared with everyone"

How do you interpret Hilliary's quote? We share our thoughts on what it means to us and why we think it's so powerful.

As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

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Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

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Want to connect with Hilliary? You can reach her below:

Her website: www.hillstreetstrategies.com

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/hilliaryturnipseed

Cue the celebration...This is our first BYNT Interview!!! We have Hilliary Turnipseed joining us on the podcast today. Hilliary brings in her boss ass credentials as a talent lead and workplace strategist to share her experiences with unconscious biases, imposter syndrome and knowing when to NO as an entrepreneur. She is not only an amazing human but the friend that always pushes you to show UP and speak your TRUTH.

Meeting Boss Babe Hilliary. Nina and Hilliary dive into a little bit into how they met. It was truly destiny

Hilliary Turnipseed, Entrepreneur and just an amazing HUMAN. Hillary gives us a sneek peak into her life as a talent leader and what led her to open up her own business

Imposter Syndrome. Ooooo not only does Hilliary share her own struggles with imposter syndrome as a minority but dives deep into what imposter syndrome stems from

WTF 2019. Nina asks Hilliary to discuss more of her WTF episodes of 2019 which include:

• A divorce
• Job Loss
• Loss of her Grandmother
• And just life really turned upside down

Perseverance is KEY. Nat asks Hilliary how she persevered through her challenging year of 2019

California Dreaming. Hillary escapes to Cali for a bit to RESET but then she stumbles on her purpose

"Women NEED to SUPPORT other women". Hilliary dives into how women are the problem in HR and how they may be responsible for the gender pay gap.

Unconscious Bias. Hillary explains unconscious biases and how incredibly rampant it is in ALL industries, creating a sense of tone-deafness and why the system is BROKEN

HR Holding Women Back. Nat asks Hilliary to dive into why HR representatives assume female applicants to be junior and offer low salaries

How We Lowball Ourselves. We are also a part of the problem as Hilliary explains. She shares how women tend to low ball themselves and not pay attention to their worth.

Interview Companies. Hilliary discusses how we as women, especially women of color need to interview the companies and she if they are aligned with our values and worth

Takeaways. Nat asks what would Hilliary say to women who are looking for a job or a change:

• Pivot with Intention (don't just rage quite)
• Figure out your own SECRET SAUCE
• Know your worth
• Interview companies that you are looking into and make sure it is a fit

What is Your BYNT Moment? We ask our famous closing question to Hilliary and she shares that it was her first NO that made her realize how she is not going to be molded into something she is not.

Resources: Book referenced in this episode is The Memo by Minda Harts

You can find Hilliary at https://www.hillstreetstrategies.com/

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Remember…Your gift cannot be shared with everyone!!! You are a DIAMOND!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina