Becoming Whole

Addiction and unwanted sexual behaviors often feel like a mystery: “I don’t want this, but I keep doing it.” We sit down with Chris Coursey, co-founder and president of Thrive Today, to explore a different diagnosis for overcoming sexual addiction. Addiction, a maturity gap that forms when our brains never receive key relational skills. When these skills are missing, we don’t stop needing comfort, connection, or relief. We just reach for substitutes that work fast and fade faster.

We dig into the Life Model framework and the neuroscience of relational transformation, especially the difference between happiness and joy. Joy, as Chris and Dr. Jim Wilder define it, is “glad to be togetherness,” and it changes everything from fear-driven living to our ability to rest. We also discuss God’s "hessed", loyal love, and how recovery accelerates when we start to trust that God wills our good rather than demands performance.

From there, we get practical: emotional capacity, “enemy mode,” attachment pain, and how people can learn relational skills even as adults through practice and community. We connect these ideas to both sides of the healing journey, those fighting compulsive behaviors and those carrying betrayal trauma. If you want a Christian recovery conversation that blends spiritual formation, brain science, and real-world tools for change, this one will meet you where you are.

Subscribe for more, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review that tells us what topic you would like us to cover next.

Resources from this episode:

• Taking your relational temperature
• 19 relational skills
• https://thrivetoday.org/ 

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

“I watch porn because my wife won’t have sex with me” sounds like a blunt confession, but it’s usually a doorway into something much bigger: intimacy, rejection, power, trust, and what we believe sex is actually for. We sit with that statement pastorally and honestly, and we ask a hard question many couples avoid: when sex disappears in a Christian marriage, what is the wise, loving, God-honoring next step?

We walk through why sex is more than a physical outlet. It’s connection, “knowing,” and covenant communion. Then we slow down in 1 Corinthians 7, a passage that often gets quoted to demand sex, and we add the missing context: Paul is offering concession in a sexually broken culture, not giving a license for coercion. We also discuss the reality that a sexless marriage can signal deeper issues like pain, postpartum recovery, trauma, resentment, or relational rupture, and that healing usually requires patience and care rather than pressure.

If this conversation helps you, share it with a friend, subscribe for more, and leave a review so others can find it. What part of the topic do you want us to unpack next?

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

“Are you affirming?” might be the most common question churches get about sexuality and it’s also one of the easiest traps to fall into. We want to be clear on historic Christian teaching about marriage, singleness, celibacy, and chastity, but we also want to lead with the better invitation: come follow Jesus, and let him reshape every part of your life. That shift changes the entire atmosphere, especially for people who feel like their sexual struggles make them unwelcome at church. 

We dig into why sexuality is not just a “hot button issue” but a doorway into some of the deepest discipleship available. Beneath behaviors are questions about desire, identity, self-mastery, wounds, relationships, and what we’re truly thirsty for. We talk about Jesus and the woman at the well as a picture of truth and grace in the same moment, and why avoiding the topic often means missing a powerful opportunity for heart transformation. 

Then we get practical for church leaders and members: should a church put its stance on sexuality on the website, or keep it relational?  We also explore leadership and membership decisions, from serving on teams to eldership, and why different roles require different standards. Using 1 Thessalonians 5:14, plus scriptures from Titus and 1 Timothy, we argue for holding both clear qualifications and process-based growth, including humility, truth-telling, and knowing when it’s wise to step down for the sake of care and integrity. 

If you’re trying to navigate sexual discipleship with wisdom, clarity, and real compassion, listen now. Subscribe, share with a pastor or friend, and leave a review so more churches can find a better way forward.

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

In this episode, our hosts share what they hear most from clients who love their local church yet feel stuck. Either sex is never addressed; it shows up as a quick “thou shalt not” list, or the tone implies “if you struggle, you’re bad.” We also explore the website dilemma: when clarity is loving, when vagueness backfires, and how a perceived bait-and-switch can retraumatize people who already fear rejection.

If you’re a pastor, a small group leader, or a church member who wants to help, listen and then share this with someone you trust. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what would it look like for your church to become a safer place to grow sexually whole?

Show Notes

• BWP: There’s no such thing as heterosexuality 
• Luke 5:1-11 describes the miraculous catch of fish, followed by Peter’s plea, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man,” and Jesus’ invitational response, “Follow me, and I will make you a fisher of men.”
• Brief synopsis of Side A, B, X, and Y beliefs:
  • Side A - God made people LGBT+ and affirms LGBT+ sexual identities, desires, behaviors, and social structures. 
  • Side B - God forbids same-sex sexual expression, so LGBT+ people should abstain from LGBT+ sexual behavior. However, there are a variety of reasons that it is good for those who experience non-heteronormative feelings to embrace LGBT+ identities. 
  • Side X - LGBT+ feelings and attractions are a result of childhood wounds and/or underdeveloped masculinity or femininity, so these inclinations can be changed with appropriate interventions. LGBT+ feelings and attractions should not serve as an identity marker for Christians. 
  • Side Y - LGBT+ feelings and attractions may or may not be a result of wounds; they may or may not change, but they should not serve as an identity marker for Christians. Like all Christians, those with same-sex attractions are called either to faithfulness in heterosexual marriage or abstinence in singleness. 
  • Regeneration’s view (which we believe more accurately aligns with orthodox Christianity through the ages): 
    God’s sexual design for humanity is both biological and theological: Biologically, men and women’s bodies are oriented toward the other in design—each with one sexual organ procreatively designed through sexual union with the other sex. Theologically, men's and women’s bodies are designed to image God. One distinct part of this design is that the marital sexual union is meant to point to the ultimate spiritual union between Christ and his bride, the Church. Whether single or married, all Christians are called to Christlikeness, which requires growing in the virtues of chastity, temperance, and love. 

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

What if the way we talk about sexuality is the very thing keeping us stuck? We trace the surprising origins of “heterosexual” and “homosexual,” unpack why those categories took hold, and explore how turning desires into identity reshaped culture, conscience, and the church. We draw from Michael Hannon’s “Against Heterosexuality” and Michel Foucault’s history of sexuality to show how an invented binary promised clarity but delivered confusion, shame, and pride.

We share why language isn’t neutral—names create lenses—and how the orientation frame quietly shifted moral questions from action and virtue to inner self-analysis. For those who experience same-sex desire, we acknowledge the weight of being told a label is who you are. For those who consider themselves “straight,” we challenge the complacency that excuses lust as normal and forgets that chastity is for everyone. Together, we re-center three layers: desires that need formation, behaviors that shape us, and an identity received from the One who made us male and female with purpose.

If this resonates, share it with a friend, subscribe for more episodes, and leave a review with the one question you still want us to tackle.

Resources from this episode:

Article reference: Against Heterosexuality - First Things by Michael W. Hannon

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

What if your imagination isn’t a liability but a lifeline? We open a candid conversation about fantasy, romance, and the deep longings that quietly direct our relationships with ourselves, others, and God. Rather than treating desire like a problem to fix, we treat it like a compass—one that often points to unmet needs for being seen, soothed, safe, and secure.

Join us, get curious, and take the next brave step. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review.

Also, we want to hear from you. What is your longing pointing you toward?

Resources from this episode:

Unwanted Intensive

Stuck in unwanted sexual behaviors and wondering, “How did I get here—and how do I get out?”

Regeneration is launching our next Men’s Small Group Intensive, based on Unwanted, designed for men ready to go deeper in recovery.

Over 8 weeks, you’ll:

• Engage your story with curiosity and compassion
• Identify patterns that keep you stuck
• Shift from a “freedom from” mindset to a “freedom for” life
• Experience deeper healing, connection, and wholeness

🗓 April 7 – May 26
🕐 Tuesdays | 1–3 pm ET (Zoom)
 👥 Limited to 6 men | High-support, high-accountability

Led by Aaron Tagert, Certified Unwanted Guide

👉Sign-up for Unwanted Intensive

Healing Through Story

This is an 8-week course to help you learn the structure of your story, how to share your story, and, in turn, learn the power of your story. 

🗓 April 20 – June 22
🕐 Mondays | 7–8:30 pm

👉Sign-up for Healing Through Story

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Shame, Isolation, and Why Community Is the Opposite of Addiction 

Join us in today’s episode as I (James Craig) sit down with Regen coach Aaron Tagert to talk about what keeps people stuck in addictive cycles—especially around porn and unwanted sexual behaviors. Aaron shares three major drivers he’ll cover in an upcoming men’s webinar: shame, isolation, and the uncomfortable truth that there can be something about porn that part of us “likes.” 

We focus mainly on isolation, pulling from Marcus Warner’s "Slaying the Monster" and the idea that the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety—it’s community. 

We unpack how isolation turns suffering into trauma, how many wounds happen in relationships, yet healing also comes through relationships, and why belonging matters more than accountability. 

We also get practical with four simple ways to start building community—smile, validate, help, and share—, and we invite men to Regeneration's live webinar on March 5th. If this helps you, share it with someone who feels alone in the struggle.

Resources from this episode:

• BATTLE podcast 
• Slaying the Monster book
• TED talk on addiction

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Repentance doesn’t have to sound like a finger wag. We explore a better way: turning as realignment with God’s character and kingdom. Especially for those worn out by “just stop it” advice or guilt-heavy apologies that never seem to change anything. Drawing on the idea of metanoia—the turning of the mind—we share how repentance becomes a process shaped by what we feed our attention, who we walk with, and how we pray with our bodies when desire runs hot, and feelings run cold.

If repentance as realignment sounds like good news you could live with, press play. Then share this episode with a friend who needs hope, subscribe for more, and leave a review to help others find their way into freedom.

Resources from this episode:

• 7 Hebrew Words For Praise.pdf

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

What if the missing piece in recovery and marriage isn’t more discipline, but deeper confidence? Not swagger. Not self-worship. A grounded assurance that you’re God’s workmanship, made very good, and called to show up with your whole self for the good of others. 

We unpack how this kind of confidence breaks the cycle of lust and fantasy by replacing shortcuts with purpose and presence, and why it’s the difference between real love and people-pleasing.

If this resonates, share it with a friend who needs courage today, subscribe for more conversations like this, and leave a review with one belief about yourself you’re ready to replace.

Resources from this episode:

• Good Will Hunting (🚨 language warning)
• Genesis 1:31, Ephesians 2:10, 1 Corinthians 12
• Created for Greatness: The Power of Magnanimity by Alexandre Havard

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Temptation rarely arrives out of nowhere—it rides in on pain, pressure, and old stories that never got the care they needed. In this episode, Josh checks in with coaches Aaron Tagert and James Craig to explore a kinder, braver way to face unwanted sexual behavior: trade shame for curiosity, isolation for relationship, and quick fixes for deep repair.

We start by reframing triggers as signals of emotional or physical discomfort, then show why “why” is the wrong starting question. Instead, we lean into who, what, when, where, and how—questions that ground you in your body, invite empathy, and open space for God’s presence. From there, we walk through practical tools: story work you write and read aloud to a safe person, grief work that honors losses across the years, and healing prayer that invites Jesus into the memory where the wound began. These practices create integration and reduce the power of secrecy.

If you’re tired of white-knuckle rules and want a path that blends neuroscience, spiritual formation, and practical steps, this conversation offers clarity and hope. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us which question you’ll practice this week.

Resources in this episode:

• 7 Desires of Every Heart.pdf
• Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson
• Unwanted by Jay Stringer 
• Email us questions!  [email protected]

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)