Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life

After divorce, letting someone close again can bring up questions you never expected: Can I trust my judgment? Will I feel comfortable in my body? How do I ask for what I need without feeling guilty?

In this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce, Coach Deborah welcomes licensed counselor and certified sex therapist Hannah Smith for an honest conversation about rediscovering yourself and rebuilding emotional and physical intimacy after divorce.

Hannah shares how her own experience as a neurodivergent person shaped her interest in understanding people and helping clients embrace who they are. Together, we explore how silencing your needs in a marriage can leave you disconnected from your identity, your body, and even your sense of joy.

From questioning what makes a “good wife” to recognizing whether you’re dating out of loneliness or self-love, this conversation offers a compassionate starting point for women ready to build relationships that honor their needs.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• Rediscovering yourself after divorce: Exploring your preferences, interests, and sources of joy when you’ve spent years putting yourself last.
• Reconnecting with your body: How mindfulness and a sensory practice called sensate focus can help you notice physical sensations without pressure to perform.
• Understanding discomfort in new relationships: Why familiar survival patterns can follow you into dating—and why discomfort deserves attention without automatically being a red flag.
• Building body confidence in midlife: Taking small steps toward self-expression, whether that means dancing, wearing bright colors, or trying something you’ve held yourself back from.
• Releasing old expectations: Separating your own values from the roles and rules other people placed on you.
• Dating from self-love: Considering whether you want to share a fulfilling life with someone or are seeking a relationship primarily to escape fear and loneliness.
• Setting healthy boundaries: Understanding the difference between a request, a boundary, and an attempt to control someone else.
• Recognizing respect: Noticing how a potential partner responds when you express a need or say no.

A Thought to Carry With You

Hannah invites us to replace “Am I being good enough?” with a more useful question: “Is this choice helping me move toward the life and relationship I want?”

One Small Step This Week

Choose one activity that helps you feel more connected to your body. Take a comfortable walk, listen to music you love, or notice the warmth of sunshine on your skin. Give yourself room to discover what feels enjoyable, without making it another task to get right.

Connect with Hannah Smith

Learn more about Hannah’s counseling and sex therapy services at hannahsmithcounseling.com.

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast. Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

 Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

If you're parenting after divorce, have you ever wondered:

Am I doing enough? Are my kids really okay? Did my divorce damage them?

Those questions can create an enormous amount of parenting guilt after divorce—especially when you're trying to manage two households, different parenting styles, changing finances, busy schedules, and your own emotional recovery.

In this bonus episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce, Coach Deborah continues the conversation inspired by parenting expert Elisabeth Stitt and shares an important reminder:

Your children don't need a perfect parent. They need a present one.

In This Bonus Episode

Coach Deborah explores how parents can stop trying to compensate for divorce and instead focus on what children really need to feel safe, connected, and loved.

You'll discover:

• Why parental guilt can become especially powerful after divorce
• How to stop putting pressure on yourself to be the "perfect parent"
• Why children can adapt to different rules in Mom's and Dad's homes
• How to focus on what you can control in your own household
• Why connection before correction can change difficult parenting moments
• What may be underneath anger, defiance, or acting out after divorce
• Why moving between two homes can be stressful even when both homes are loving
• How guilt can cause parents to overcompensate
• Why saying "yes" to everything isn't necessarily what your children need
• How simple family routines and traditions can create security
• Why children need belonging more than perfection
• How parents can help children build resilience after divorce
• Why divorce may change your family without destroying it

When Parenting Guilt Takes Over

Divorce can leave parents feeling responsible for making sure their children never experience another disappointment.

You may find yourself spending money you don't have, keeping your children involved in every activity, avoiding boundaries, or saying yes when you really want to say no.

But trying to make up for the divorce can leave you physically and emotionally exhausted.

Your children don't need you to recreate the life they had before.

They need connection, consistency, boundaries, love, laughter, and your presence.

Connection Before Correction

When a child starts acting out after divorce, it's easy to focus on the behavior.

But what if you asked a different question?

Instead of:

"Why are you behaving like this?"

Try asking:

"What might my child be feeling right now?"

Children moving between two homes may regularly have to pack, leave one parent, adjust to another household, and then make the transition all over again. Even when both homes are safe and loving, those transitions can be stressful.

Sometimes anger isn't just anger.

Sometimes the child pushing you away may actually need you to come a little closer.

That doesn't mean abandoning boundaries or consequences. It means remembering that the relationship is often more important than the immediate issue.

You Can't Control the Other Household

One of the hardest parts of co-parenting after divorce can be accepting that your former spouse may parent very differently.

But your children don't necessarily need two identical households.

They can learn:

"At Mom's house, we do things this way. At Dad's house, we do things another way."

What matters is creating clarity, consistency, calm, and emotional safety in your own home without criticizing the other parent.

Instead of spending your energy trying to control what happens somewhere else, ask:

What kind of home do I want to create here?

Create a New Sense of Family

Divorce changes the structure of a family, but it doesn't mean your family stops being a family.

Small rituals can give children a powerful sense of stability and belonging.

Maybe it's Friday-night pizza.

Sunday-morning pancakes.

A family walk after dinner.

Sharing something you're grateful for before bed.

A special saying when your children return home.

These moments don't need to be expensive or elaborate. Their power comes from repetition.

They quietly tell your children:

You belong here. You're safe here. This is our family.

Simple family rituals can provide children with grounding, stability, and connection as they adjust to family life after divorce.

Coach Deborah's Challenge

This week, ask yourself three questions:

1. What am I doing because it's truly important to my family?

2. What am I doing because I feel guilty about the divorce?

3. What is one simple ritual I can create that tells my children, "This is our family, and you belong here"?

You don't have to get everything right.

You don't have to erase everything your children have experienced.

And you don't have to be perfect.

Be present.

Because resilience doesn't mean something difficult never happened.

It means that difficult thing doesn't get to write the ending.

And that's true for your children—and for you.

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast. Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

 Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Divorce changes the family—but it doesn’t have to destroy a child’s sense of safety, belonging, or connection.

In this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce, Coach Deborah sits down with parenting expert and coach Elisabeth Stitt of Joyful Parenting Coaching for an important conversation about parenting after divorce, co-parenting, single parenting, and helping children adjust to life between two homes.

For divorced and single parents, there can be enormous pressure to get everything right. You may worry about how divorce is affecting your children, whether the other household has completely different rules, or whether you're spending enough quality time together.

Elisabeth offers a different perspective: your children don't need a perfect parent. They need a parent who is present, calm, clear, and consistent.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

• Why children can adapt to different parenting styles in two different homes
• How to create consistency and emotional security after divorce
• Why parents don't have to compete with their ex's household
• How overscheduling can take away precious family connection
• Why family time becomes especially valuable after divorce
• How routines and rituals create a sense of safety and belonging
• What children may really be communicating when they act out
• Why connection before correction can change difficult parenting moments
• Simple emotional regulation techniques parents can teach their children
• How divorced parents can stop chasing perfection
• Why children need present parents—not perfect parents
• How to create meaningful family traditions after divorce
• Why divorced parents can create three family identities: Mom's home, Dad's home, and the shared family space
• How children can develop resilience and even thrive after divorce

When Your Child Acts Out After Divorce

Anger, defiance, meltdowns, or pushing a parent away may be about much more than bad behavior.

Moving between two homes, adapting to different routines, and processing the emotions surrounding divorce can be stressful for children—even when both parents have created loving homes.

Instead of immediately focusing on consequences, Elisabeth encourages parents to ask:

What might my child be feeling underneath this behavior?

Sometimes slowing down, connecting physically and emotionally, and helping a child regulate their emotions can accomplish far more than immediately trying to correct the behavior.

As Elisabeth explains, the relationship is more important than the issue—with safety always being the exception.

Two Homes Don't Have to Have the Same Rules

One of the biggest concerns after divorce is consistency.

What happens when Mom and Dad have completely different parenting styles?

Elisabeth reminds parents that children already learn to function under different expectations every day. They behave differently with different teachers, coaches, grandparents, and other adults.

They can also learn:

"At Mom's house we do things this way, and at Dad's house we do things another way."

The key isn't making both homes identical. It's creating clarity, consistency, connection, and emotional safety within your own home without criticizing or undermining the other parent.

Protecting Your Most Valuable Resource: Time

After divorce, time with your children may suddenly be cut dramatically.

That makes it even more important to intentionally protect family time.

Sports, dance, clubs, lessons, birthday parties, and activities can all be wonderful—but overscheduling can also consume the limited time parents and children have together.

Elisabeth encourages parents to become the architect of their family by deciding what truly matters and building routines around those values.

Sometimes saying no to another activity means saying yes to connection.

Create Rituals That Say: "This Is Our Family"

Family traditions don't have to be elaborate.

Lighting a candle at dinner and sharing something you're grateful for, protecting one afternoon each week for family time, or creating a special ritual when everyone comes home can help children feel grounded.

After divorce, those seemingly small moments can send a powerful message:

You belong here. This is home. We are still a family.

Can Children Thrive After Divorce?

Yes.

Elisabeth shares a touching story about her own daughter and how she eventually came to see her expanded family—not simply through the lens of divorce and loss, but as part of the rich story of her life.

Divorce may change the structure of a family, but parents still have the opportunity to create a home filled with safety, connection, consistency, love, and belonging.

If you're a divorced or single parent wondering whether you're doing enough, remember Elisabeth's powerful reminder:

Perfection is neither required nor desired.

Your kids don't need perfection.

They need you to be present.

About Elisabeth Stitt

Elisabeth Stitt is a parenting coach, educator, and the founder of Joyful Parenting Coaching. She helps parents create calmer, more connected families by focusing on clear expectations, emotional regulation, strong family values, and practical parenting strategies.

Her work encourages parents to become intentional architects of their families rather than allowing outside pressure, overscheduling, or unrealistic expectations to determine how family life should look.

Elisabeth's website:  www.elisabethstitt.com

People may also ask:

How can I help my child adjust after divorce?
How do you create stability for children after divorce?
Can children handle different rules at Mom and Dad's houses?
How do divorced parents create consistency between two homes?
Why is my child acting out after divorce?
How can a single parent reduce parenting guilt?
How do I reconnect with my children after divorce?
Can children become resilient after their parents divorce?
What routines help children after divorce?
How can divorced parents create a healthy family environment?

Episode Takeaway

Divorce may change what your family looks like, but it doesn't take away your ability to build a loving, secure home.

You don't have to control what happens in the other household. You don't have to fill every minute with activities. And you don't have to be a perfect parent.

Focus on what you can create: consistency, rituals, boundaries, emotional safety, meaningful time together, and connection.

Because being Bent Not Broken isn't about pretending divorce didn't change your family.

It's about intentionally creating what comes next.

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast. Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

 Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

 Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.

 Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

What if everyone around you thinks you’re successful, confident, and strong—but inside, you’re still wondering if you’re enough?

In this bonus coaching episode of Bent Not Broken, Coach Deborah reflects on her conversation with singer, songwriter, and author Machan Taylor and one of the most powerful lessons from Machan’s story: success doesn’t automatically heal the wounds we carry.

Machan performed on some of the biggest stages in the world with legendary artists, yet she shared that she could stand in front of hundreds of thousands of people and still experience imposter syndrome and wonder whether she truly belonged.

And you don’t have to be standing on a stage to understand that feeling.

Sometimes we hide behind our careers, accomplishments, relationships, perfectionism, or simply saying, “I’m fine.”

We become so good at surviving and taking care of everyone else that we lose sight of ourselves.

In This Bonus Episode:

Coach Deborah explores:

• Why success doesn't always create self-worth
• How childhood trauma can affect our adult relationships
• Why we sometimes repeat unhealthy relationship patterns
• The difference between choosing what is healthy and choosing what is familiar
• How emotional abuse can slowly change the way you see yourself
• Why high-achieving women can still struggle with imposter syndrome
• What it means to lose yourself in a relationship
• How to stop trying to prove that you're enough
• Rebuilding your confidence after divorce or emotional abuse
• Finding your voice and trusting yourself again
• Starting over and reinventing yourself later in life
• Why your age does not determine what comes next

Ask Yourself These Three Questions

Where in my life am I still trying to prove that I'm enough?

What old story about myself am I carrying that may no longer be true?

If I truly believed I was already enough, what would I do differently?

You don't have to change everything today.

Sometimes rebuilding begins by simply recognizing the patterns, beliefs, and old stories that are keeping you stuck.

It Is Never Too Late to Start Over

Whether you're 40, 50, 60, 70, or beyond, there is no expiration date on becoming the woman you want to be.

Your past may explain parts of your story, but it doesn't have to write the ending.

You don't have to become the woman you were before everything happened.

Maybe you're meant to become someone even stronger, wiser, and more authentic.

If you haven't heard Coach Deborah's full conversation with Machan Taylor, be sure to listen to “She Sang with Pink Floyd—but Still Felt She Wasn't Enough.”

And remember—you may have been bent by what happened to you, but you get to decide what happens next.

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast. Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

 Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

 Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

 Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.

 Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

What happens when the world sees your success—but never sees the struggles happening behind the scenes?

In this powerful episode of Bent Not Broken, Coach Deborah sits down with singer, songwriter, author, and educator Machan Taylor, whose extraordinary career has included performing with legendary artists including Pink Floyd, Sting, Foreigner, Pat Benatar, and Aretha Franklin.

But behind the applause was a woman struggling to understand where she belonged.

Born in Japan to a Japanese mother and American military father, Machan moved to the United States at just four and a half years old. Growing up in New Jersey in the years following World War II, she experienced discrimination and struggled with identity, belonging, and the emotional impact of leaving her extended family and culture behind.

Those early experiences were only one layer of what Machan calls her “layer cake of trauma.”

She later grew up in a dysfunctional home with an alcoholic father and carried many of those childhood wounds into adulthood—even while building a successful career and performing in front of enormous audiences.

Machan shares something particularly powerful: you can appear confident and successful on the outside while questioning your worth on the inside.

At the height of her career, she sometimes stood in front of hundreds of thousands of people while battling imposter syndrome and wondering whether she truly belonged.

Her personal life eventually brought another painful chapter. Machan opens up about leaving an abusive and controlling marriage, hitting what she describes as rock bottom, and spending years rebuilding her life and rediscovering herself.

Today, at 70, Machan's perspective couldn't be more different.

Rather than believing her best years are behind her, she's writing, creating, exploring speaking opportunities, working on a possible screenplay, and looking forward to what's next.

Her message is simple and powerful:

Whatever your goals are, whatever your dreams are—go after them. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

In This Episode, You'll Hear About:

• Moving from Japan to America as a young child and struggling to belong
• The lasting effects of childhood trauma and family dysfunction
• Building an extraordinary music career despite deep insecurity
• Performing with Pink Floyd and other legendary artists
• Experiencing imposter syndrome even at the height of success
• How our childhood experiences can influence our adult relationships
• Leaving an abusive and controlling marriage
• Hitting rock bottom and rebuilding your life
• Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
• The role of forgiveness and acceptance in healing
• Why writing her memoir, Naked Out Loud, became part of Machan's healing journey
• Finding your voice personally—not just professionally
• Reinventing yourself and starting over later in life
• Why turning 70 has left Machan feeling energized, hopeful, and ready for more

A Powerful Reminder

Machan's story reminds us that healing doesn't require erasing our past. We can understand where our wounds came from, learn from them, and choose what happens next.

Sometimes becoming who we were meant to be means finally believing something very simple:

You are enough.

And whether you're 40, 50, 60, 70, or beyond, it's never too late to reclaim your voice, rebuild your life, and begin your next chapter.

Learn more about Machan, her music, her story, and her memoir Naked Out Loud at MachanTaylor.com.  

Her book is available through Amazon and Barnes & Noble, with an audiobook also in development

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast.

 Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

 Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

 Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.

 Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

How to move from financial overwhelm to clarity—one small step at a time.

After divorce, money can become one of your biggest sources of fear.

Can I afford to live on my own?
Should I keep the house?
Will I have enough for retirement?
What if I don't understand our finances?
Am I going to be okay?

In this bonus coaching episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce, Coach Deborah continues the conversation inspired by her interview with financial professional Donna Kendrick and explores the emotional side of rebuilding your financial life after divorce.

When everything feels urgent, it's easy to believe you need to figure out your entire future right now.

You don't.

Instead, start with what you know today and identify one action you can take to create greater clarity and control.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why financial fear after divorce is about more than money
• How to separate immediate decisions from those that can wait
• Why knowledge can begin replacing fear with clarity
• What to consider before deciding to keep the marital home
• How to start understanding your accounts, credit, expenses and financial picture
• Why asking for help doesn't mean you've failed
• The power of focusing on your “next best minute”
• One simple financial challenge you can take this week

You don't need to rebuild your entire life today.

Maybe your next step is checking your credit report. Maybe it's finding your retirement statement, calculating your essential monthly expenses, starting an emergency fund or finally opening that financial document you've been avoiding.

Choose one thing.

Because rebuilding after divorce happens decision by decision, step by step and sometimes minute by minute.

🎧 And if you haven't heard my full conversation with Donna Kendrick, CFP® and CDFA®, listen to that episode for more practical strategies for taking control of your finances during divorce, widowhood and other major life transitions.

Remember: You don't have to know exactly what your next chapter looks like before you begin writing it. Start with your next best step.

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast.

 Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

 Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

 Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.

 Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

What happens when the life you planned suddenly disappears—and you're left wondering, “Am I going to be okay?”

Whether you're facing divorce, widowhood, or another major life transition, starting over can feel overwhelming. You're grieving the life you thought you would have while simultaneously being asked to make some of the biggest financial decisions of your life.

In this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce, Coach Deborah sits down with Donna Jean Kendrick, CFP® and CDFA®, founder of Sephton Financial and author of The Divorce Money Map: Taking Control of Your Finances Before, During, and After Divorce.

Donna knows what it means to have life change without warning. At just 40 years old, she unexpectedly lost her husband and found herself raising three children while trying to figure out what came next. At the time, she was earning just $17,000 a year working part-time and suddenly had to face questions about income, credit, savings, raising her children, and her family's financial future.

That devastating loss eventually inspired Donna to reinvent her career and become the kind of financial professional she needed during her own darkest season.

Today, she helps people navigate the financial realities of divorce, widowhood, remarriage, blended families, and starting over.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Why major financial decisions shouldn't all be made in the middle of emotional overwhelm
• The difference between immediate, transitional, and long-term financial decisions
• Why Donna recommends building a six-month emergency cash reserve
• What “sudden money” is—and why receiving a divorce settlement, life insurance proceeds, or money from selling a home can lead to emotional spending
• Why checking your credit report is so important before, during, and after divorce
• How joint credit card debt can continue affecting your credit after divorce
• Why you need to understand exactly what you own and owe
• How to begin establishing financial independence if your spouse traditionally handled the money
• Why keeping the marital home isn't always the best financial decision
• The importance of updating beneficiaries, wills, healthcare directives, powers of attorney, and other financial documents after divorce
• How Donna rebuilt her career after becoming a widow at 40
• Why she created The Divorce Money Map to help people organize their finances before meeting with an attorney
• How setting 30-day, 90-day, one-year, three-year, five-year, and ten-year goals can help you begin moving forward
• The power of resilience, forgiveness, and learning to live the “next best minute”

Three Steps You Can Take Right Now

If you're newly separated, divorced, widowed, or simply afraid of your financial future, Donna recommends beginning with three practical steps:

1. Start building your cash reserve.
Work toward having approximately six months of basic living expenses available—not necessarily your current lifestyle expenses, but what you truly need to keep your household functioning.

2. Get your financial house in order.
Gather account information, statements, passwords, insurance documents, and other important financial records. Know what accounts exist and make sure you have access to your own financial information.

3. Review your credit.
Pull your credit report and understand which accounts are in your name, which are joint, what balances exist, and whether there are accounts you may have forgotten about or didn't realize were open.

A Powerful Reminder About Starting Over

One of my favorite moments in our conversation came when I asked Donna what Bent Not Broken means to her.

Her answer was a reminder that after divorce, loss, or another life-changing experience, we shouldn't expect to be exactly the person we were before.

Like a tree bending in the wind, we may lose some things along the way. We may lose relationships, financial security, dreams, or pieces of the life we once knew.

But bent doesn't mean broken.

We can stand tall again—perhaps differently than before—and that's okay.

If you're wondering whether you can rebuild financially after divorce or loss, this episode offers both practical steps and something equally important: hope that your next chapter can still be a good one.

About Donna Jean Kendrick

Donna Jean Kendrick is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and the founder of Sefton Financial. After unexpectedly becoming a widow at age 40 with three children, Donna transformed her personal experience with grief and financial uncertainty into a new career helping others navigate major life transitions.

She is also the host of Widow, Wisdom & Wealth and the author of financial guides addressing widowhood, blended families, and divorce, including The Divorce Money Map: Taking Control of Your Finances Before, During, and After Divorce.

Donna's Website where you can purchase her books and obtain resources:  https://donnajeankendrick.com/

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast.

 Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

 Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

 Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

What happens when the life you thought would last forever comes to an end—and you have to figure out who you are all over again?

In this special episode of Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce, Coach Deborah shares a powerful conversation originally featured on the Get Obsessed podcast with Janelle Brown of TLC’s Sister Wives.

For years, viewers watched Janelle navigate plural marriage, motherhood, family dynamics, jealousy, public scrutiny, and the challenges of living much of her personal life in front of television cameras. But behind the headlines is a woman who eventually found herself asking a question so many women face after divorce:

Who am I now—and what do I want for the rest of my life?

Janelle opens up about the realities of plural marriage, learning to recognize her own value, and why understanding that she didn't have to compare herself to other women helped strengthen her self-esteem.

She also talks candidly about the breakdown of her marriage, the difficult realization that she was ready to leave, and why starting over can feel frightening—even when you know something in your life needs to change.

The conversation takes an especially heartfelt turn as Janelle discusses the loss of her son Garrison, her family's grief, and the importance of having honest conversations about mental health.

Today, Janelle is building an entirely different life—one filled with independence, family, coaching, her farm in North Carolina, and the freedom to discover what she wants this next chapter to become.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• Life behind the scenes of Sister Wives and plural marriage
• How comparison and jealousy can affect self-worth
• Learning to separate other people's opinions from your identity
• Recognizing when a marriage has changed
• Finding the courage to consider leaving and starting over
• Grief, mental health, and Garrison's lasting legacy
• Rediscovering yourself after decades of marriage and motherhood
• Why Janelle isn't rushing to find another relationship
• Rebuilding confidence and independence after divorce
• Creating a fulfilling second chapter later in life
• Why you don't need to have your entire future figured out before taking the first step

One of the most powerful messages from Janelle's story is that starting over doesn't mean you failed.

Sometimes starting over means finally giving yourself permission to ask:

What do I want now?

After divorce or the end of a long-term relationship, it's easy to feel lost when so much of your identity has been wrapped up in being a wife, mother, caregiver, or the person everyone depends on.

But your story isn't finished.

You can rebuild your confidence.
You can rediscover who you are.
You can create new dreams.
And you can write a completely different next chapter—even if you can't see exactly what that chapter looks like yet.

As Janelle reminds us, change can be scary because it's unfamiliar. But sometimes simply allowing yourself to imagine a different life is where transformation begins.

A special thank you to the Get Obsessed podcast for allowing Bent Not Broken to share this conversation with Janelle Brown.

A Question to Take With You

If you stopped worrying about who you used to be—or who everyone else expected you to be—what would you want the next version of your life to look like?

Maybe it's time to find out.

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast. Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

 Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

 Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.
 
Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

What happens when life changes on a dime—and suddenly the future you planned looks nothing like the life you're living?

In this personal solo coaching episode of Bent Not Broken, Coach Deborah opens up about returning to the workforce at 67 and the unexpected challenges of trying to balance work, podcasting, personal goals, responsibilities, and everything else life brings.

If you're starting over after divorce, navigating a midlife transition, returning to work later in life, rebuilding after loss, facing financial changes, or simply feeling overwhelmed trying to do it all, this conversation is for you.

Coach Deborah knows firsthand that starting over doesn't always happen once. Sometimes, just when you think you've figured out your next chapter, life hands you another blank page.

But a change in circumstances doesn't mean you've failed.

It may simply mean it's time to redefine what success looks like in this season of your life.

In this episode, Coach Deborah explores why women often put enormous pressure on themselves to keep doing everything—even when their lives and circumstances have changed. She challenges you to stop measuring yourself against the life you thought you would have and instead ask:

What does this season of my life need from me?

You'll discover how to:

• Navigate unexpected life changes without losing yourself
• Let go of the pressure to “do it all”
• Reevaluate your priorities when life changes
• Give yourself permission to put some things down
• Recognize the difference between giving up and adjusting
• Rebuild confidence when you're starting over
• Navigate returning to work later in life
• Redefine success during a midlife or later-life transition
• Take your next step without having your entire future figured out

Whether you're starting over after divorce, rebuilding your life after emotional abuse, returning to the workforce, changing careers after 50 or 60, dealing with an empty nest, experiencing financial uncertainty, or wondering what's next, remember this:

You don't have to figure out the entire next chapter today.

Sometimes you just need enough courage to turn the page.

One decision. One priority. One day at a time.

Because whether you're 47, 57, 67, or beyond, it's never too late to start over, rediscover yourself, rebuild your confidence, and write your next chapter.

Your story isn't over.

You still get to write your next chapter.

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast. Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

 Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

 Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.
 
Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

What happens when the marriage you thought would last forever ends after 20, 30, or even 40 years?

Gray divorce—divorce after 50 or later—can turn your entire world upside down. Beyond the end of the marriage, you may be grieving the future you expected, questioning who you are without your spouse, navigating changing friendships and family relationships, and wondering whether it's really possible to start over at this stage of life.

In this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce, Deborah Griffiths sits down with psychotherapist Oona Metz for an important conversation about the unique emotional challenges women face during gray divorce and divorce later in life.

Oona brings insight into what happens emotionally when a long-term marriage ends and why healing from divorce isn't simply about "moving on." It's about grieving what was lost while slowly rediscovering who you are and creating a life that belongs to you.

In This Episode

Deborah and Oona discuss:

• What gray divorce is and why divorce after 50 can feel so different
• The emotional impact of ending a long-term marriage
• Grieving the marriage—and the future you thought you would have
• Why women can feel lost after divorce
• Rebuilding your identity when you've spent decades as part of a couple
• Loneliness after divorce and adjusting to a new social life
• How friendships and relationships may change after a gray divorce
• Learning to trust yourself again
• Finding purpose and confidence in the next chapter of your life
• Why starting over after divorce at 50, 60, or beyond is absolutely possible

Is It Too Late to Start Over After Divorce?

One of the biggest fears surrounding gray divorce is the belief that you've run out of time.

You haven't.

At 67, Deborah understands the importance of challenging the idea that your best years have to be behind you. Your life may not look the way you once imagined it would, but that doesn't mean it can't become meaningful, joyful, and fulfilling again.

Divorce later in life isn't the end of your story.

Healing after divorce takes time. Rebuilding your confidence takes time. Rediscovering yourself after years—or decades—of marriage takes time.

But there is no expiration date on becoming the woman you want to be.

Whether you're contemplating divorce after 50, newly separated, going through a gray divorce, recovering from a long-term marriage, or rebuilding your life years after divorce, this conversation with Oona Metz offers encouragement and perspective for navigating what comes next.

You don't have to have your entire future figured out today.

Sometimes the next chapter begins by simply asking:

Who am I now—and who do I want to become?

Listen to this episode and discover why it's never too late to heal, rebuild, rediscover yourself, and start over after divorce.

Enjoyed this episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce with Deborah Griffiths?

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more people searching for life after divorce, divorce recovery, co-parenting, dating after divorce, and healing from gaslighting can discover this empowering podcast. Every review helps others find hope, inspiration, and practical tools for thriving after divorce.

 Explore more resources: Visit BrokenToBoldness.com for coaching, workshops, and guidance on divorce recovery and life transitions.

 Follow Deborah Griffiths for daily empowerment and support:

• Instagram: @BrokenToBoldness
• Facebook: Broken to Boldness
• LinkedIn: Broken to Boldness

Remember: divorce may bend you, but it does not break you. You are stronger than you think, and your bold new chapter starts now.

 Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.