In this week’s fish police blotter: We question Wooderson about mind-altering tip-up tactics, investigate how missing lunch money ended up in the back of a toad brown’s throat, ask for the public’s help locating an arapaima angler, and stake out the tarpon godfather to grab intel on his secrets to silver king success.

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This week on “The Reel World: Fond Du Lac,” the Puck stops here: we get serious about caviar, Captain Abbie Schuster riles the locals with a beer bomb, we hook a gift horse right in your face, and leave you with recipes for Davenport sole, Peorian hake, and other fish that don’t actually exist.

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In this chapter of “GWAR and Peace,” we ridicule people that leave the plastic wrap on their rod grips, make a Dolomite-smallmouth connection that short circuits Mandy Uhrich, two-step our way to sight fishing failure, and ring in Valentine’s Day with an X-rated soiree in the marlin scene.

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Today on life hacks for lure refurbishers: Learn to thwart uncontrollable vomiting with lump charcoal, save a poodle from the clutches of a raging walleye psychopath, chop wood in the Amazon after putting down a twelver of Brahma, and fool a 50-inch muskie with Radio Shack ingenuity.

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In this week’s installment of your grandpa’s terrible fish camp jokes: a priest, an internet savant, and a bass fishing legend walk into a hippo-infested river to count the invasive species. Plus, soiled Wrangler jeans and electric fillet knives infused with the power of the holy smoke.

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This week at the water hazard: two kids swing big for walleye but drown in teenage lies; after failing to chip away at his waist line, an angler gives up some cheap goods; Miles investigates robots that can do anything from deep driving lion fish to building condos on Mars; and Riverhorse putts for birdie to clear the un-fairway of rich mulligans in motorized carts.

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In this week’s TED Talk for taimen trollers, Mike Iaconelli explains that you’ll catch more fish if you cast in the right place, Tom Rosenbauer discusses why asking about his favorite fly is so junior varsity, and Hilary Hutcheson presents corporate urination strategies for team-building angling exercises.

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On this week’s off-menu special, we’ve got blue-ribbon rainbow trout crusted in Miracle Grow, a poultry dish that fish rarely swallow, speckled trout belly soaked in secret Cajun ingenuity sauce, and a shredded pork leg slathered in shark DNA that won’t likely stop you from being killed by a great white.

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This week, kick off your new year by slapping mad brown hogs in the face with sheet foam, learn what Ernest Schwiebert usually ordered at Arby’s, hear the gripping story of how we almost lost a Spice Girl to buttery, decadent swordfish, and get rich by carving wooden pike to sell to Midwest soccer moms outside the Home Goods.

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Pour an egg nog, nuzzle up to a loved one, and prepare for the airing of grievances in this star-studded holiday event of the century. Join us as we sing a duet with a soulless walleye killer, give back to those struggling with steelhead addiction by helping them find their tying scissors, tell a tale of jolly St. Nick’s inability to scratch out a few largemouths, feed bits of tinsel to crappies and perch in the name of habitat restoration, and so much more!

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