In this self-help course for salmon swingers, learn to patch relationships with boiled shrimp, boost your confidence by hunting the world’s biggest whitefish, meditate on a deadly hard bait made by a guy named Mud, and cope with the immense shame that comes with letting a good friend fondle your personal-best northern pike.

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This week on Fish Head Talk Soup, Mandy Uhrich spills the beans on Donkey Sauce, Miles reviews a book about an otherwise upstanding human ditching his family for bonefish, we compare a Pantara fan to Axel Rose, and Joe tells you the possibly, maybe, a little bit true history of a mostly useless fly with a somewhat offensive name.

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This week on This Old Bait House, we’ll explain why you need to raid grandpa’s tackle box for bass glory, hang pictures of a quaint old bar that serves questionable chili, open a restaurant that offers guests a dark, cold, cramped dining experience, and piece together a damn good dam report that may result in fewer steelhead getting pureed.

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This week on Fish By Numbers, we throw shade on a man covered in salmon sperm, highlight bass legend Oliver Ngy’s hatred of billfish, calm the panic of foreign seafood consumers, add chunks of color to a miserable striper report, and bathe a terrible Black Friday bargain in soft blue light.

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In this episode of Top Chef for Fillet O’ Fish fryer jockeys, Hilary Hutcheson gives away her secret for keeping dry flies oh so fresh, Lance V reveals the IG filter from which all his power derives, Miles laments how the Aloha spirit has devolved into surf casters hucking pyramid sinkers at paddleboard yogis, and Joe explains why he prefers his Tacatos infused with a nice wiener essence.

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In this episode of Wild America for wet fly dapplers, we observe a gentle giant establishing dominance over a pack of jetty rats, get lost in an incoherent word forest spewed by the late Paul Maclean, go on an expedition to find a barramundi that pays off mortgage loans, and tell you how to survive with only the stolen goods you can fit in a JanSport backpack.

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This week at Hot Topic for high hookers, we’re scalping tickets to the Monsters of Thailand Festival, handing out backstage passes to get hammered with Tom Rosenbauer, riding the lightning in the striper storm of the century, and turning the mercury levels up to 11.

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This week on our not-so-special Halloween Special, get hip to a bass secret so venomous it might kill you, score a good deal on waders by making them smell like fear, scare the kids with a bedtime story so horrific you’ll never have to spend money on another Boogie Board, and learn the five trout flies worth losing an eye.

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This week on Sally Jesse for center-pinners, we find out why your dad’s not impressed with your surfcasting skills, discover a pike fly you can tie drunk and fish hungover, learn how Mr. Bean can enhance your angling street cred, and discuss when it’s appropriate to dial 911 for a species ID.

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In this week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy for gut hookers, learn how to keep your striper action from going flaccid, survive the brass knuckle blows you’re sure to take if you Spey cast in New York, kick your dip habit by swindling innocent people, and catch more jacks by slathering your jigs in antibiotics.

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