When you are in that terribly complicated time of making medical decisions around advanced cancer, what framework can you turn to? Oncologists are called upon to treat and offer options; patients hope to gain time if not be cured. What are the choices and the impact of those choices for advanced solid tumor cancers? What if I told you that two doctors have gathered the data to find out whether certain treatments extend life or not. Would you listen to that conversation to find out more? I would!

This conversation is one of those that is personal and universal. What do you do when your partner dies unexpectedly? What Kim did was delve into that experience and, over time, lean in to help others as they are hit by loss and grief. As she says, “I can be an upbeat, energetic person, and I’ve had this big loss. The content that I’m talking about is grief, and yet I’m enthusiastic about it, so that might feel weird to people. But I want to be of service and I want this horrible pain to be of use to someone.” Kim talks about her experience and her work, touching on many aspects of grief and loss.

⁠https://www.pocketgrief.com/⁠

⁠https://www.facebook.com/PocketGriefHelps⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/pocketgrief/

After her husband of 19 years died suddenly of Leukemia at the age of 48, Kim Shute experienced first-hand that the death of a young partner “stopped people in their tracks.” Friends and family showed up as best everyone could, but it launched Kim on an unexpected path into working in the field of grief, through leading groups, presenting in her community, and creating a series of Pocket Grief books. One of those booklets, Hints for Grieflings, notes, “Grief is how you see life after loss, like putting on a new pair of glasses.”

https://www.pocketgrief.com/

https://www.facebook.com/PocketGriefHelps

https://www.instagram.com/pocketgrief/

Perhaps you’ve heard of Death Cafes or Death over Dinner… what about Death over Drafts? Grab a brew and listen to this episode in which you’ll hear from founder – and craft beer lover – Stefanie Elkins. What is a Death over Drafts event like to attend? What is the Death Deck and how does it tie in to this kind of program? What’s the purpose of these casual events, and who might attend? I love anything that brews up a conversation about the end of life, so you know I appreciate these nationwide events!

As Author Susan Lieberman concludes in this BLBD conversation: “Old is not terrible, it’s just old.” Listen to this episode for some light thoughts and some deep wisdom about aging, death, loss, and especially – how to be where we are. Susan has several books including In the Country of Old: Nine Reflections from a New Immigrant to the Country of Old and also Death, Dying and Dessert: Reflections on Twenty Questions About Dying.

Jennifer Carroll shares tips and thoughts on how to bring an obituary to life. What are the personal touches that take it beyond a short, basic announcement? How do you capture details that illustrate the character of the person and their passions and quirks? How do we find the “extraordinary moments of ordinary lives”? Jennifer recommends that we “start early, enjoy the process, gather voices and stories, identify themes, and seek out defining moments.” Overall in this conversation we are exploring: What makes a fitting tribute to those we love?

I think it is fair to say that Mark Dowie’s latest book is unlike any other he’s written. Brief and intensely personal, Mark writes about his experience with Judith Tannenbaum, poet and friend-of-a-friend who suffers from a debilitating yet often invisible illness with severe pain. Mark becomes a guide, dear friend and “amateur doula” for her as they share conversations and thoughts as she lives her final months. In this episode, he and I discuss Death Cafes, the Final Exit Network, Compassion and Choices, and of course the book, Judith Letting Go: Six Months in the World's Smallest Death Cafe.

I’m pulling from the “old files” for this one! I spoke with Kim Mooney on BLBD podcast #71 and #72 and with Kayla Nagano on #74, and with this episode you can hear more from each of them! Kim = renowned thanatologist plus huge advocate for compassionate end-of-life options in Colorado and beyond. Kayla = podcaster and expert in all things animals and end of life. Enjoy this episode of "bonus tracks" from my past recordings with these two experts.

I believe that this podcast offers a topic you might not have considered – and it very much has to do with life and death. “Drowning deaths are on the rise in the United States, following decades of decline, according to a new CDC Vital Signs study. Over 4,500 people died due to drowning each year from 2020–2022, 500 more per year compared to 2019.” Many of these drownings could be prevented – not by knowing swim strokes, but by learning to be in deep water without panic. This is a perfect podcast to hear as we head into summer months, and the lessons Melon shares apply to more than just pools, rivers, lakes and oceans.

Nancy Simmers served as the death doula for Kate Christie’s mother when she chose VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking) to hasten her death. How did Nancy’s path take her from working as a birth doula to becoming a death doula? How did her expertise grow over the years? How does she support the individual and the family in a VSED situation? What are the three typical parts of a death by VSED? This two-part podcast is an eye-opener on a subject that most of us know little about. Last week’s episode: a conversation with the daughter who experienced her mother’s death by VSED.