Better Off Undead

The guys are fishing for something Dave can rant about, and Dory’s on the hook in today’s episode. Sean rants about Dreamworks stealing Disney’s thunder. Angry Birds spied on you as an app, but the movie was good… especially the full minute of peeing. Some Aziz sniping, and it just gets worse from there.

Dave goes to Walmart and loses his faith in humanity. He also wonders where the meat in the deli actually comes from. He talks about what would happen if he saw himself on the People of Walmart website. The FitBit fiasco, and Sean’s going to die. Sean and Dave argue over cell phones causing cancer […]

The guys go off about Olive Garden and sub-par restaurant chains. A live viewer creates a new drinking game in Sean’s honor. The guys try to convince Sean that if his son isn’t going to be a major league baseball player, he should give it up now. And it just gets worse from there…

We have a special guest today, 21-year-old Logan, in order for him to learn all there is to know about dating, marriage, and life in general. How to send dick pics through Snapchat, thingsmydickdoes.com, threesomes, and honest advice. Dave talks about how to initiate conversation, hiding your true self, and being an asshole to get […]

Dave is DONE with his former favorite restaurant and the friend who ordered appetizers before he showed up. He realizes that the Tao is a scam. Dave gives genius advice to restauranteurs, and tries a NEW restaurant. The guys finally come to an understanding that they should ALWAYS trust Dave’s instincts. Johnny plans a rescue […]

Today, the guys talk about OCD porn, a WSE so bad it couldn’t be aired, and Sean reads the Slack transcript of Audra giving it the axe. Dave talks about the first time he heard the phrase ‘trigger term,’ how his wife has NO IDEA of what actually goes on during these episodes, and Johnny […]

Sean advocates for drug users with his son, Dave’s son asks about ‘nibbles,’ and Johnny takes the high road. The guys’ kids experiment with cussing. Dave shares a minor victory that really isn’t; also, dat bitch at Dunkin’ Donuts. Johnny advocates pooping on the counter. And then Florida happens. Hairpin triggers, guns, alligators, and crazy […]

Dave has OCD. Sex is gross because there’s goo involved. No one’s getting fucked by Tucker Max. Johnny advocates tongs for toilet issues. The guys play a rousing game of answering random offensive questions, including invisible porn, deporting illegals, age or money, and name three people you hate. It just gets worse from there.

Topic… what’s a topic? Johnny rants about selling his stuff before the move. Sean tells the story about when he and Johnny flew to Chicago, and make fun of Dave’s fear of flying. Dave is annoyed by spending too much time alone with his son. Sean coaches Dave on how to communicate with his son, […]

Today, the guys share the hilarious and terrible things that happened at the Smarter Artist Summit, including the week of restaurants and staying at the Airbnb with Dave and Johnny. Dave had a horribly wonderful week. Johnny shares the first of many stories at the Smarter Artist Summit, and Dave’s lack of humanity about a […]