Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist

By Shawna Lovin, MA, LPCS

Welcome to Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist.

This isn't your typical self-help podcast. This is where seasoned therapist Shawna Lovin, LPC-S tells the truth about burnout, helper life, and buildi... more

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FAQs about Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist:

How many episodes does Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist have?

The podcast currently has 89 episodes available.

Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist episodes:

May 10, 2026 78. When Your Birthday Lands Next to Mother’s Day
Every year, my birthday lands right up against Mother’s Day, and every year it stirs up more than people think. This episode is for anyone who feels complicated around being celebrated, being needed, being mothered, or being the one who keeps holding it all together. We’re talking about tenderness, resentment, caretaking, identity, and what it means when your own life keeps arriving right beside everyone else’s expectations. And yes, we’re doing it honestly.

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
24min
May 03, 202677. Good Girl Contract: How the Mother Wound Fuels Helper Burnout
A lot of helper burnout is not about workload. It is about childhood conditioning finally breaking down.

In this episode, we unpack how the mother wound can shape emotional patterns like over-functioning, self-abandonment, perfectionism, and chronic guilt. You learn to be emotionally convenient, and then clinical culture rewards that same pattern and calls it professionalism.

So if you have been praised for how much you can carry, feel guilty when you rest, and keep performing while quietly falling apart, this one is for you.

We cover:
why “resilience” can sometimes be emotional invisibility
how the good girl contract gets wired into your nervous system
mother wound patterns that drive people-pleasing, over-functioning, and burnout
why guilt is not guidance
how to choose energy integrity over performance

You are not lazy. You are not weak. You may just be running on survival patterns that were never meant to become a lifestyle.

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
18min
April 26, 202676. When You’re the Regulator: The Family Role That Burns Helpers Out
Some of you were not raised. You were recruited.

If you grew up in an enmeshed or unpredictable home, you may have become the regulator early. The peacekeeper. The one who could feel the room before anyone spoke. The one who stayed alert, adapted fast, and kept everything from tipping over.

Now you are a helper who is great in crisis, but your nervous system never fully stands down.

In this episode, we talk about how family roles shape burnout, especially when your body has learned that safety depends on reading moods, managing tension, and staying one step ahead.

We cover:
enmeshment: when love feels like access and separation feels like betrayal
unpredictability: eggshells, hypervigilance, and chronic bracing
why your “intuition” may actually be nervous-system scanning
how this role turns into over-functioning and burnout
what boundaries look like when your body thinks distance is danger

If you look calm on the outside but live internally on standby, this episode is for you.

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
13min
April 19, 202675. Stop Fixin’ Grown A** Folks: When Boundaries Make You the Problem
When you set boundaries, somebody always calls you the villain or the problem.

Especially if you’ve been the family’s emotional manager for years.

In this episode, I’m talking about the messy middle of family rupture—when a message looks like love but lands like a summons… and you realize you can’t “repair” with people who are more committed to protecting their self-image than protecting your kids.

I’m paraphrasing personal details on purpose. This isn’t a drag session. It’s a pattern.

We talk about:
How “sweet” texts can still be pressure
Why your body braces before your mind catches up
Relief + guilt (and why that combo is a sign you’re changing something real)
What it means to “break up with the mother wound”
How to stop being the family’s emotional janitor

If you’re a helper who looks fine but feels cooked… welcome.

👉🏾 Everything you need is on my website: www.shawnalovinlpcs.com

➡️ Texas LPC Associates Supervision that keeps you ethical and human

➡️ Messy Middle Blueprint: Your personalized energetic blueprint for burnout recovery

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
17min
April 12, 202674. You’re Not ’FINE’: Why Gen X Helpers Don’t Ask for Help
Gen X helpers don’t always burn out loud. They burn out quietly because many of you were raised to function through feelings, not ask for support.

This episode is about the psychology and nervous-system conditioning behind “I’m fine,” and why asking for help can feel unsafe, shameful, or pointless—even when you’re exhausted.

We talk about:
the “don’t bother anyone” training
independence vs isolation
why rest can feel like weakness
why you wait until you’re breaking
what recovery looks like when you’ve been the strong one forever

If you’re Gen X and tired of being the capable one… welcome.

👉🏾 Everything you need is on my website: www.shawnalovinlpcs.com

➡️ Texas LPC Associates Supervision that keeps you ethical and human

➡️ Messy Middle Blueprint: Your personalized energetic blueprint for burnout recovery

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
22min
April 05, 2026 73. The Clinical Culture Manifesto
I didn’t quit helping. I quit clinical culture.

Today, I give you a manifesto for helpers who are high-functioning on the outside and quietly cooked on the inside.

We’re naming the truth: burnout isn’t always personal failure. Sometimes it’s your nervous system doing its job inside an environment that demands self-betrayal.

If you’re over it but not done… welcome.

👉🏾 Everything you need is on my website: www.shawnalovinlpcs.com

➡️ Texas LPC Associates Supervision that keeps you ethical and human

➡️ Messy Middle Blueprint: Your personalized energetic blueprint for burnout recovery

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
14min
March 29, 202672. New Year Energy for Helpers: Why “Fresh Start” Makes You Worse
If the “new year, new you” energy makes you want to throw your phone… this episode is for you.

We’re talking about the energetic pressure of a new year (including 2026’s “start over” vibe) and why it hits helpers differently—therapists, healers, first responders, teachers, medical + legal folks… anyone who’s high-functioning on the outside and quietly cooked on the inside.

This isn’t a motivation episode. It’s a nervous-system reality check.

In this episode, I talk about:
Why “fresh start” energy can feel like pressure (not hope) when you’re already at capacity
The helper shadow: resentment, numbness, and the fantasy of quitting
What “tired but wired” actually means (and why doom-scrolling isn’t decompression)
The difference between speed and freedom—especially for helpers
A reframe for building a life you don’t need a vacation from

👉🏾 Everything you need is on my website: www.shawnalovinlpcs.com

➡️ Texas LPC Associates Supervision that keeps you ethical and human

➡️ Messy Middle Blueprint: Your personalized energetic blueprint for burnout recovery

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
27min
March 22, 2026 71. Hey, Hey y'all, Howdy, How ya' doin'? (Season 3)
Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist is back — and this season is for high-responsibility helpers who are tired of pretending they’re fine.

If you’re the one holding it down at work, holding it together at home, and quietly falling apart in your body… yeah, love. I made this for you.

Season 3 is nervous-system-first, truth-telling, and built for real life:

🔥 burnout + over-functioning

🧠 nervous system + regulation (without the performative “healing aesthetic”)

🧿 a little woo, a lot of wisdom

✈️ rest, slow living, and “different sky” medicine

And yes — you might find a few videos dropped in. You can watch on YouTube or listen on your favorite podcast player.

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
15min
December 14, 2025 70. You Don’t Need a Resolution — You Need Intentions (Winter Reset for Burnt-Out Helpers)
Winter isn’t a launchpad. It’s a cave. A compost season. And if you’re a high-responsibility helper who’s been white-knuckling your way to the finish line, your nervous system already knows the truth: you don’t need a resolution—you need rhythm.

In this season finale of Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist, we’re talking about why “new year, new you” pressure doesn’t work (especially for helpers), how winter naturally asks your body to slow down, and how to choose intention over performance—so you can move into the next season a little less cooked and a lot more honest.

Want to do this in your real life (not just in your head)?

Join the Messy Middle Reset on Friday, January 30 (10a–12p CST) — a 90–120 minute live Zoom workshop (replay included) to stop performing “I’m fine,” use your Human Design environment + your actual home/work space to create a nervous system sanctuary, and make tiny shifts your body can actually handle.

🎧 Workshop details: https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/messymiddlereset

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
16min
December 07, 2025 69. Tangled in Travel: Why Stepping Away Unlocks Who You Really Are
Being tangled in travel was born in the in-between—the moments when life feels tangled, work piles up, and your nervous system whispers that something has to give. In this episode, I share the story behind Lovin Thy Travels, exploring why travel, stillness, and reclaiming your own space aren’t luxuries—they’re acts of self-preservation, transformation, and quiet magic.

Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE

——————————————————————————

WORK WITH ME

——————————————————————————

Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me

LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision

Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com

FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset

——————————————————————————

FIND ME

——————————————————————————

YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna

Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna

Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.
...more
10min

FAQs about Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist:

How many episodes does Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist have?

The podcast currently has 89 episodes available.