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What critical questions should you ask before saying "I do"? With half of all marriages ending in divorce despite everyone believing theirs will last forever, these three game-changing questions could save your relationship from becoming another statistic.

The marriage journey transforms us in ways we never anticipate. The first essential question recognizes this reality: "Can you handle me changing?" That vibrant 23-year-old you fell in love with will inevitably become a different person at 43 and 63. Many of us marry an image rather than a real person—attracted to their current appearance, ambitions, or how they make us feel—without considering the transformation that decades bring. Whether it's physical changes after children, shifting career goals, or evolving priorities, marriage requires love that transcends these natural evolutions.

Equally important is the counterpoint: "Can you handle me not changing?" We often enter marriage with a subconscious desire to mold our partner into versions of ourselves. That spouse who struggles with punctuality, plays video games excessively, or approaches finances differently may never fundamentally change these traits. Before marriage, become a "fruit inspector"—carefully examining consistent patterns and honestly asking if you can accept those unchangeable aspects for a lifetime. Many relationships deteriorate because one spouse continuously pressures the other to become someone they're not designed to be.

Finally, ask: "Will you love me when you don't like me?" Every marriage experiences seasons where affection wanes and irritation grows, yet commitment must remain. Many couples mistake the temporary butterflies of the infatuation stage (typically lasting three months to three years) for the foundation of marriage. Real love chooses connection even during difficult seasons and finds ways to rebuild fondness through intentional efforts.

These questions highlight why physical intimacy before marriage can cloud judgment about fundamental compatibility issues. The emotional bonds created through sex often lead people to overlook critical differences that become relationship-breaking problems after marriage.

Take time to honestly explore these three questions with your partner. Your willingness to face these realities now could make the difference between a marriage that thrives through decades of change and one that joins the sobering divorce statistics.

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