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What happens when your life looks nothing like the plan?
On this episode of the Still Coloring Podcast, Toni sits down with Mac & Kenz, founders of Delight Ministries and authors of This Wasn’t the Plan, for a vulnerable conversation about feeling stuck, disappointment with God, unanswered prayer, surrender, sin, faith, and what it looks like to keep moving when God does not change your circumstances the way you hoped.
Kenz shares about years of chronic illness and the spiritual crisis that came when she prayed for healing but her symptoms remained. What eventually changed wasn’t immediately her body—it was how she understood God’s presence in her pain.
Mac opens up about reaching a point where life looked incredible externally while internally she felt deeply empty and lonely, eventually moving back into her parents’ basement with no plan for what came next.
Together, they unpack a practical framework from Matthew 7:7:
Ask. Seek. Knock.
Ask Jesus better questions.
Seek evidence of His faithfulness.
And then knock—take the next brave step and trust Him with the door.
They also talk about the hidden places of sin and shame we desperately try to keep locked away from Jesus. Toni shares vulnerably about her own battle with pornography and lust and how inviting God and trusted community into that hidden room became part of her freedom.
If you’ve been thinking:
“God, this wasn’t the plan…”
this conversation is for you.
Grab Mac & Kenz’s new book This Wasn’t the Plan on Amazon through this link: https://amzn.to/4hlmaL2
And if the Still Coloring Podcast has encouraged you, consider supporting the show through the donation link in the show notes as Toni continues building the podcast while raising her kids as a single mom.
Watch the full episode at YouTube.com/@tonijcollier and send it to someone who needs a reminder that feeling stuck does not mean God has stopped moving.
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
How do you keep your joy when life keeps giving you reasons to lose it?
On this episode of the Still Coloring Podcast, Toni sits down with Air1’s Lacy Abercrombie for a hilarious and deeply vulnerable conversation about what they call “sticky joy”—the kind of joy that can exist alongside grief, disappointment, addiction, and pain.
Lacy shares her journey from people-pleasing and searching for identity in other people to discovering who she was through actually following Jesus.
She also gets vulnerable about addiction, losing her ministry job, hiding from accountability, becoming dependent on alcohol, and the moment God used another woman’s obedience to help lead her toward sobriety.
Toni shares her own experience of turning to alcohol after divorce and realizing that something she used for temporary relief had slowly become an idol.
Then the conversation shifts into grief as Lacy shares about losing her brother DJ to addiction, seeing him days before his death, and singing “Goodness of God” at his funeral.
Together they wrestle with a hard question:
How can God still be good when life still hurts?
This conversation is a reminder that joy does not require denial.
Sometimes joy looks like finding one thing to hold onto today.
A Scripture.
A prayer.
A friend.
A worship song.
Or simply:
“Jesus, help me.”
If you’re grieving, fighting an unhealthy pattern, rebuilding your faith, or wondering why following Jesus hasn’t suddenly made life easier, this episode is for you.
Watch the full conversation on YouTube.com/@tonijcollier and send it to someone who needs a little sticky joy today.
AND watch Lacy's new YouTube show "Lacy's Lunch Table" with Elevation Rhythm here: https://tinyurl.com/4jhpr5rb
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
Myesha shares what it was like to leave an 18-year marriage and suddenly lose friendships, relationships, identity, and parts of her faith along the way. Together, Toni and Myesha talk about the messy reality of healing — where grief and relief can exist at the same time, where pain does not disappear overnight, and where freedom sometimes looks like simply taking the next right step.
They also dive into the importance of learning from your pain, taking accountability without blaming yourself, surrendering unanswered questions to God, telling the truth without becoming bitter, and giving your children permission to have their own relationship with each parent.
And when it comes to dating after betrayal, Myesha offers one unforgettable reminder:
“Anything harmful loves speed.”
This episode is for anyone learning how to trust themselves again, rebuilding after divorce or heartbreak, or trying to figure out what life looks like on the other side of survival.
Because healing does not mean erasing your story.
It means learning how to carry it differently.
Watch the full episode on YouTube.com/@tonijcollier and share it with someone who needs hope that there really is freedom after the ending.
To financially support Toni's ministry, donate here: https://shorturl.at/GsH9y
Audio-only pod version: https://pod.link/1627335605
Subscribe to the podcast newsletter: https://tinyurl.com/stillcoloringpod
Pre-Order Myesha's Memoir "Honest" Here: https://tinyurl.com/mrypfwb7
For booking Toni: https://www.tonijcollier.com/booktoni
Other resources can be found at tonijcollier.com!
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
What happens when healing becomes the destination instead of part of our discipleship?
After my reel about becoming so obsessed with healing that we forget to become holy reached millions of people, I knew we needed a deeper conversation.
In this episode, Me and Chris Cook sit down to talk about the difference between healing that makes us more self-focused and healing that actually makes us more like Jesus.
We’re talking about self-awareness, surrender, boundaries, triggers, identity, personal responsibility and the uncomfortable truth that sometimes we can learn all the therapeutic language…and still resist transformation.
Healing matters. Therapy matters. Processing your story matters.
But the goal was never simply to become more aware of yourself.
The goal is freedom. Wholeness. Surrender. Love. And becoming more like Christ.
This conversation is for anyone who has done the work, learned the language and protected their peace—but is wondering whether God may be inviting them into something deeper.
Watch until the end, then tell us in the comments:
Has your healing journey made you more like Jesus—or just more focused on yourself?
Subscribe for honest conversations about faith, healing, relationships and rebuilding your life with hope.
Support Toni's ministry: https://shorturl.at/GsH9y Audio-only pod version: https://pod.link/1627335605 Subscribe to the podcast newsletter: https://tinyurl.com/stillcoloringpod Follow Toni Collier on Instagram: / tonijcollier Follow the podcast Instagram: / stillcoloringpod For bookings: https://www.tonijcollier.com/booktoni
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
Drawing from her own experience of enduring repeated infidelity in marriage, Toni shares the things she wishes she had understood when she first discovered betrayal—and the practical steps she believes can help you move from panic toward clarity.
Reminders in this episode:
Do not make a permanent decision from a temporarily flooded place.
You are allowed to be devastated.
You are allowed to ask questions.
You are allowed to create space.
And you are allowed to take your time before deciding what happens next.
This episode is not telling everyone to divorce. And it is not telling everyone to stay.
It is about finding safe people, establishing truth, creating healthy boundaries, praying for wisdom, and paying attention to whether the person who betrayed you is actually willing to take responsibility and do the work required for reconciliation.
Toni also talks about three common responses to betrayal: revenge, self-blame, and rushing to repair everything immediately.
WATCH UNSHAKABLE MOXIE SEASON 2 FOR FREE: https://go.odb.org/broken-crayons-moxie
Listen to the Still Coloring Podcast on your favorite podcast platform: https://tonijcollier.com/podcast
Subscribe for weekly conversations about healing, faith, emotional health, and finding hope in the middle of life’s messiest moments.
Connect with Toni: Instagram: @tonijcollier
Still Coloring Podcast: @stillcoloringpod
Remember: broken crayons still color, and God is not finished with your story.
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
If you’ve been asking:
Where is God in my pain?
How do I forgive someone who hurt me?
How do I get consistent with the Bible?
Why is my rebuilding taking so long?
This episode is for you.
Because God is not asleep on the job.
Watch the full episode on YouTube.com/@tonijcollier and leave your question for Part 2.
Special thanks to Our Daily Bread Ministries + God Hears Her for sponsoring the Still Coloring Podcast. Be sure to watch Toni’s Unshakeable Moxie Bible study series for free through this link: https://go.odb.org/broken-crayons-moxie
Broken crayons still color. 🖍️
If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend who needs it.
Support Toni's ministry: https://shorturl.at/GsH9y
Subscribe to the podcast newsletter: https://tinyurl.com/stillcoloringpod
Follow Toni Collier on Instagram: https://instagram.com/tonijcollier
Follow the podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod/
For bookings: https://www.tonijcollier.com/booktoni
Other resources can be found at tonijcollier.com!
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
What if you don’t need another goal…you just need a reset?
In this episode of the Still Coloring Podcast, Toni sits down with certified Christian health coach and Healthy by Heather Brown host Heather Brown for a practical, faith-filled conversation about caring for your mind, body, and soul without turning health into another exhausting thing to achieve.
Heather shares the framework behind her new book, The Sunday Reset, and challenges us to stop letting life simply happen to us and start intentionally building our weeks with God.
Together, Toni and Heather talk about finding your “why” for health, meal planning, movement, mental health, stress, consistency, grief, anxiety, surrender, and why getting healthy should be less about looking a certain way and more about having the capacity to live the life God has called you to.
Heather also leads Toni through a practical breathing exercise for stress—and y’all, Toni almost ended the podcast to go take a nap. 😂
One of the biggest reminders from this conversation?
We may not have the power to stop life from being hard, but we can create more capacity in our bodies to hold the hard.
This episode is for the woman who is tired of starting over, setting goals she cannot sustain, running herself into the ground, or constantly trying to move faster than God.
Maybe you don’t need to completely reinvent your life.
Maybe you just need to reset it with God.
Pre-order Heather Brown’s new book The Sunday Reset and access her bonus reset and meal-planning resources through this link: https://mylifewellloved.com/
Be sure to follow Heather and listen to the Healthy by Heather Brown podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.
And special thanks to our Still Coloring Podcast sponsor Our Daily Bread Ministries. Watch Toni’s Unshakeable Moxie Bible study series for FREE through the link here: https://go.odb.org/broken-crayons-moxie
Watch the full Still Coloring Podcast on YouTube and follow @stillcoloringpod and @tonijcollier for more.
Share this episode with a friend who has been holding everything together and needs permission to stop, breathe, and reset.
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
Access the Unshakable Moxie video bible study, featuring Toni Collier here (for free!)! https://go.odb.org/broken-crayons-moxie
To financially support Toni's ministry, donate here: https://shorturl.at/GsH9y
What happens when you’ve been faithful to God… and your life still falls apart?
In this episode of the Still Coloring Podcast, Toni sits down with preacher, author, and podcaster **Brenda Palmer** for an honest conversation about church hurt, betrayal, rebuilding your life, surrender, and following Jesus when obedience doesn’t produce the outcome you expected. Brenda shares the devastating story of experiencing betrayal inside a church community that felt like family—and why that pain ultimately pushed her **deeper into God instead of away from Him**.
Because sometimes we believe:
*I prayed.* *I obeyed.*
*I did the right thing.*
*So surely God is going to make this work out.
* But what happens when He doesn’t?
Brenda shares how her life didn’t immediately get better after choosing God. She moved across the country, slept on an air mattress, went almost a year without a job, received government assistance, battled depression, and had to rebuild nearly everything. And somewhere in the rebuilding, she learned something that stopped Toni in her tracks: **Surrender isn’t how we convince God to do something for us. Surrender is our response to what He has already done.**
WHEW. 😭
If you’ve ever thought:
**“God, I did everything right. Why did You still let this happen?”
** This episode is for you. Because obedience isn’t ultimately about what you get on the other side.
**It’s about the God you meet along the way.**
📖 **ABOUT BRENDA**
Brenda Palmer is a preacher, author, podcaster, and the author of *The Journey of Yes: The Everyday Adventure of Radical Obedience*.
Find Brenda’s book wherever books are sold and search **Brenda Palmer** in the Bible App for her devotional.
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
As we kick off Season 10 of the Still Coloring Podcast, we're opening the book of Nehemiah to discover a powerful truth: God doesn't just rebuild walls... He rebuilds people.
In this episode, Toni shares three biblical principles for rebuilding your life with moxie and resilience:
• Stop mourning what was without abandoning what could be.
If you've been wondering whether healing is still possible for you, let this be your reminder that your story isn't over. God is still in the business of restoration, and even if all you see is rubble today, He knows how to build something beautiful from it.
Your broken crayons still color.
Scripture: Nehemiah 1–4
This episode is sponsored by Our Daily Bread Ministries. Be sure to check out the free Unshakable Moxie Bible study series featuring incredible stories of women who refused to quit. Visit the link in the show notes to watch.
Support Toni's ministry: https://shorturl.at/GsH9y
Audio-only pod version: https://pod.link/1627335605
Subscribe to the podcast newsletter: https://tinyurl.com/stillcoloringpod
Follow Toni Collier on Instagram: https://instagram.com/tonijcollier
Follow the podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod/
For bookings: https://www.tonijcollier.com/booktoni
Other resources can be found at tonijcollier.com
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
What do you pray when life feels dry, dark, exhausting, and uncertain?
In this special Fifth Wednesday episode of the Still Coloring Podcast, Toni invites you to slow down, breathe, and receive a prayer inspired by Psalm 63.
David wrote this psalm from the wilderness of Judah—a parched and weary place where there seemed to be no water. Yet even there, he continued searching for God, praising Him, and trusting that God’s strong hand was holding him securely.
Maybe you are walking through your own wilderness right now: heartbreak, grief, financial pressure, anxiety, sickness, addiction, insecurity, temptation, or a pain you cannot quite name.
This episode is your reminder that you are not too broken for God to hear you. Your past has not disqualified your prayers, and someone else’s prayers do not reach God faster than yours. Every person who has said yes to Jesus has access to the same loving and holy God.
Toni prays for hope when everything feels dark, strength to resist temptation, freedom from sin, rest for sleepless nights, and the ability to remember that God is still good—even when saying it feels difficult.
Come as you are. Take a deep breath. Bring God whatever you have.
You can expect:
You do not have to pretend that the wilderness is easy. But you can trust that you are not walking through it alone.
Watch the full episode and support the podcast at:
YouTube.com/@tonijcollier
Listen, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who needs prayer today.
Support Toni's ministry: https://shorturl.at/GsH9y
Audio-only pod version: https://pod.link/1627335605
Subscribe to the podcast newsletter: https://tinyurl.com/stillcoloringpod
Follow Toni Collier on Instagram: https://instagram.com/tonijcollier
Follow the podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod/
For bookings: https://www.tonijcollier.com/booktoni
Other resources can be found at tonijcollier.com
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcollier
Support the Still Coloring Podcast: https://square.link/u/u2FkAzC7?src=sheet
Shop Toni's merch: https://www.shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier
Connect with Toni:
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stillcoloringpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colliertoni
Newsletter: ToniJCollier.com/Newsletter
Website: ToniJCollier.com
Purchase Toni's newest book, Don’t Try This Alone: https://amzn.to/3BQqaBr
Purchase Toni’s children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color: https://amzn.to/3x3I4xD
Purchase Toni’s first book, Brave Enough to be Broken: https://amzn.to/3VoCjVu
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