Beyond The Glass Slipper

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After experiencing narcissistic abuse we often struggle to wrap our heads around how this happened.  

How could we have allowed ourselves to be so used, so duped?

We believed that if we hung in there, looked for the good,  prayed for the best, showed love, tried to resolve issues, and remained committed that somehow it would get better.

But it didn’t.

Often we invested years of our lives trying to hang in there.

Being lied to and manipulated for so long rattled our sense of security and caused us to be overly cautious and distrustful when meeting new people.  

We’ve chided ourselves over and over for being taken in by the narcissist.

Now we have a difficult time feeling we can trust our own judgment to discern truth and make wise decisions.  

The fact is, we’ve grown a lot from what we’ve experienced.  We’re much wiser now.

It’s time to rebuild and reclaim our ability to feel safe trusting our own judgment again.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

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You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

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Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

We’ve all  had times in our life where we felt like we were not seen, heard, or cared about.

When we’ve experienced long term narcissistic abuse, being rejected is commonplace and can leave deep scars that place an anxiety button in our hearts.

It doesn’t take much, maybe even just a hint of potential rejection to make the anxiety pop up.

Once this happens we have a difficult time separating who we truly are from the perceived negative messages.

These messages wind up dominating our emotions, our thoughts, and our responses.

Let’s talk about what’s going on here and some steps we can take to disable that button.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

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Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

How long has it been since you got out of that narcissistic relationship?

Do you feel like yourself yet?

Are there times when you’ve been doing really well but something touches a button in you and things go south in your own head?

It doesn’t matter if it’s been 10 months or 10 years since you left that narcissistic relationship.

The pain and distortions can still linger and subconsciously hold you back from being who you’re meant to be and accomplishing what you’re called to do.

Today we’re going to talk about some typical struggles that could indicate you’ve got  echoes of old narcissistic abuse that are still haunting you and holding you back.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

Do you live to make people happy?

Are you more concerned with the well being of others even when it’s to your own detriment?

Are you in a lot of lop-sided relationships - always giving but rarely receiving?

You’re not alone!  This is not only common, but encouraged, especially for women.

While it’s a wonderful, Christlike quality to serve and support others, to find joy in helping them, we can unintentionally be causing harm to others and ourselves.

If you feel you’re helping others but resentments are creeping in, or you feel anxiety rising at the thought of saying “No” to somebody, that's a red flag waving in the breeze!

Let’s talk about how you can maintain the good aspects of helping people without hurting yourself in the process.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

Have you ever experienced this…

You start the day in a great mood.

You’re moving through the day, being productive, smile on your face, feeling positive….but then someone makes a comment or does something that instantly shifts your mood.

You feel your defenses rising on the inside as you bite your tongue - or not.

What’s going on?

Have you really given away that much power to what just happened?

Maybe you feel justified in thinking and feeling this way because it feels familiar enough that we don’t think, we just shoot straight into a negative mental pattern.

For the previous couple of episodes we’ve examined 6 thinking habits that if left unchecked, can and WILL sabotage us on a daily basis.

Today we’re going to talk about 3 more habits of mind that instantly sends us straight into a self-protective, defensive mode that may not be so much about what the other person said or did but rather a reflection of what’s going on between our own ears!

That means it’s our responsibility to deal first with ourselves before we can evaluate
if or how much of the issue we need to confront with the other person.

Join us for a gracious challenge that will be a paradigm shifting approach to help you regain your personal power, starting with what's going on between your ears.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

It doesn’t come naturally to most of us to be self-aware enough all day so we’re able to
catch ourselves in the act of allowing our thinking habits  to sabotage us.

Sabotage is a pretty strong word, but when it comes to habits of mind, it’s an accurate word.

When we slip into any of the 3 negative thinking habits we’re going to be discussing today, it will absolutely trip you up.

It will distort how you view and interact with others and even cause you to drive yourself out of guilt, as we’ll see with the 3rd thinking habit especially.

Let’s start gaining victory over these 3 harmful habits of thought that sabotage our perspective and hold us hostage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

We all have positive and negative thought habits.

Sometimes we  train our  minds to think well and it helps us.

For example:  Creative problem solving, embracing change, expecting positive outcomes, looking for the good in others

When we have healthy thinking habits a good domino effect is put in motion in every dimension of life.

However, by virtue of being born a human surrounded by other humans in a fallen world means that good thinking habits don’t automatically happen.

Developing good thinking habits takes deliberate and consistent effort.

On the other hand, bad thinking habits are super easy to come by.

This becomes exponential when you’ve been conditioned into faulty thinking habits stemming from being with a narcissist.

Even though you’ve free from that toxic relationship, it doesn’t mean you’re free of the conditioning of negative thinking habits.

Too often it’s just become  “normal” to us to think this way.  In a split second we go straight to that habit of mind.

Let’s talk about 3 categories of thinking habits that create a cascading negative effect on every aspect of your life and how to start making positive changes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

You’ve probably already reflected over the narcissistic relationship and asked yourself, “How did I wind up so duped?”  

When I look back over the multiple narc encounters I’ve had, I realized that I projected my qualities and assumptions onto the narc.

It would never cross my mind to manipulate, to be a pathological liar, to use people, or knowingly cause them pain.

I knew that hurting people hurt people…But my projected assumption was that they didn’t mean to.

Once they came to awareness that their words or actions were hurtful
they felt bad and tried to make things right, including making changes within themselves.

The paradigm shift for me happened with an epiphany that when it comes to narcissists, they DO mean to be hurtful and have zero intention to self-reflect and/or make any authentic attempt to change.

We blew off the early red flags with the narcissist because it never occurred to us that we were being deliberately deceived and used.

That’s just the stuff that occurs in movies, right?

Since you’re past the crisis stage of breaking free from a significant narcissistic relationship, the last thing you want is to slip into another one - or even a relationship with a non-narcissist  that isn’t good for you for one reason or another.

In this episode we’ll look at those red flags as a point of reflection then talk about 3 wise ways we can not only protect ourselves in the future but beyond that - proactively quantify who the quality relationships are that we really want to invest our time and energy into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

After being involved in a significant relationship with a narcissist, it’s way too easy to continue accepting being devalued in other relationships as you move forward.

In some cases, you may have been devalued in profound ways for so long that being devalued in lesser ways feels better so you accept it.

Or perhaps you grew up experiencing situations in which you were negatively compared with others for example.

Then along came the narcissist and after a while, it just seemed normal to be moderately devalued and disrespected by others.

You know what the real issue is though?

It’s a tendency to come into AGREEMENT with being treated as lesser than.

That’s what accepting this  is all about.

It’s a distortion of who you are and it opens the door to your spiritual enemy because you’re in agreement with it, allowing it.  

So basically you’re giving the enemy permission to torment you in this manner, in your own mind, and by using other people.

The worst part though is that you’re disrespecting and devaluing yourself in more ways than one, and may not even recognize you’re doing it. 

There’s a famous quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

There’s so much truth in that!

Let’s unpack this issue a bit in our conversation today, along with some steps in the right direction so you can start the process of taking your power back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

Even though you’re free from daily interaction with that narcissist, it doesn’t mean your thought process and relational defaults are free.

You can carry around a “supply mentality” even years later without realizing it.

This mentality can become a default setting you kick into  even when dealing with normal people.

In the big picture it doesn’t really serve them, serve you, or honor God either.

In reality, it’s a type of bondage.

Are you ready to gain your freedom in this area?

Let’s start by breaking  down what narcissistic supply is, how you were “trained” by the narcissist to automatically kick into this mode as a foundation for our conversation today.

Then let’s chat about how a narcissistic supply mentality shows up when dealing with others and 3 strategies we can begin exercising to become much healthier and relationally free to be who we really are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]