BiggerPockets Daily

As we approach the new year, I’ve come to realize that in my own life, there have been several things throughout my past that have been extremely toxic to my health and well-being—and to the health of my business.

It’s in my heart to share some of these because I know a lot of the readers here on BiggerPockets are new, and I want you to be able to spot these things a mile away!

It’s my desire to help you avoid the many mistakes that I’ve made because I want you to be far more successful than I have been. What good is life experience if I can’t share it with those who need it most?

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With a diverse community as big as BiggerPockets, it’s easy to get lost or overwhelmed by the amount of Forum posts, blogs, people and information being shot at you as if out of a howitzer cannon. It can be daunting!

I want show that it’s easy to attack BP with a strategy to get the most out of the time you spend here and make a TON of money in the process. Why just aimlessly surf if you can implement some tips below and start connecting with players in your market and start doing deals (or do more deals!)? For everyone from the newbie sitting on the sidelines to the old veteran who has 100 deals under his belt, there are many ways you might not be using BP to its fully powerful potential.

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Cultivating a network of professional contacts is arguably one of the best things you can do for your business — and for yourself. Working in real estate, my sphere of influence is what drives my business. Whether you are a wholesaler, flipper, or buy and hold landlord, the better you are at networking, the more your business will thrive. 

Here are some tips I’ve put into practice to build my network. As with anything worth doing, it takes time, but you will begin to reap the benefits before you know it — I definitely did!        

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Everyone has their own unique experiences in real estate investing and building a portfolio of properties. Some of us develop a thriving local (or not so local) real estate empire, while other investors fail to complete their first real estate investment. Many times we sabotage our own businesses. Ultimately, you are in charge of your successes and your failures.

As I write this, I understand that I do not speak for the entire human race or even other investors. However, I have most definitely changed as a human being (and real estate investor) over the past 15 years. Below are five traits that I have attempted to cut from my life. I use the word “attempted” because this is an ongoing process, and sometimes I still make mistakes.

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What makes someone successful?

Skill? 

Talent? 

Right place, right time? 

What if I told you that I believe “luck” is one of the most important traits. 

Crazy, right? 

Hear me out.

It seems that many of the most successful people of all time attribute their success at least partially to “luck,” to being “blessed,” or to having great fortune in one or many key parts of their lives or businesses.

And they are right!

Key connections, funding, inspiration, and breakthroughs often come about by chance, rather than through the direct planning or efforts that we take to get there. In fact, luck is defined as “success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions.”

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If you’ve spent any length of time trying to “succeed” in life, then you’ve probably turned to self-help books at some point.

Most real estate investors have sought out lists of recommended self-development books. Many titles appear on list after list. Once you notice those titles, you might be tempted to read a good chunk of these suggested books and to take the advice of these authors.

You’ll find yourself motivated and confident—but more than likely no closer to your goals than before reading them.

Why is that?

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When I start reading a book, I don’t try to internalize it line by line. It’s too overwhelming to attempt to retain every bit of wisdom packed inside the pages. Instead I simply try to take note of one big concept from each book and make a point of implementing it in my life.

I’ve found this approach of focusing on LESS actually allows me to retain MORE—and therefore effect a greater amount of real change in my life.

Here are three impactful productivity-related books, as well as the one big lesson I took away from each and put to use.

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I can already feel the hate mail coming my way. The “you have to live” talks. The “you’re missing out on the best times of your life” talks.

That’s OK, though. I like those talks. In fact, I love those talks. Each time someone tells me, “You have to live,” it reassures me that I am living like no one else now, such that I can live and give like no one else later.

A couple of years ago, my buddy Scott Trench posted an article about a few seemingly harmless habits that many Americans have. Because I 100 percent agree with Scott—and because I’m a numbers guy—I have taken many of his harmless habits and done my best to attribute a dollar value to show the impact of each of these activities. Think of the dollar values below as a unit of comparison; the actual amount may be more or less for you.

Before we get started, let me preface with a disclaimer that I am no angel. I take part in almost all of these activities and don’t expect you to cut them out of your life either. However, I am keenly aware of the impact of these activities and practice them significantly less than the average American.

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One last time I will delve into the amoral and borderline sociopathic book 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene with a lesson that every half-decent politician knows: “Work on the hearts and minds of others.”

As Greene notes:

“Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction. A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn. And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses. Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear. Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you” (Greene 367).

You know, there would be a fairly easy way to rephrase this into something that normal, decent, and totally not-power-hungry freaks would find helpful. The key lesson is that every person is the hero of their own story. And while you can force someone to do something (at least you can sometimes), you can never truly get someone to buy into a course of action unless they want to do that thing themselves. And the more you personalize your approach to that specific person, the better. (For example, using sports analogies around people who hate sports isn’t going to help.)

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Over my 16 years of investing in mobile homes, I’ve heard a similar nasty story to the one below from two other active mobile home investors. If we don’t learn from our own mistakes—and more importantly, the mistakes of others—we are doomed to repeat them.

Disclaimer: This story gets a little gross. Maybe don’t eat while reading this.

It was November 2002. I was investing in my fifth mobile home deal. This particular home was a three-bedroom single-wide from the 1980s located in a pre-existing mobile home park in a small town outside of Tampa, Fla. I liked the area the park was located in, and the park manager liked me.

The seller was asking less than $4,000, and I thought the home was a bargain. After quickly walking through the home and poking my head inside every room, I convinced myself that I must buy this home. I shook the seller’s hand.

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