Black. Queer. Unapologetic.

In this episode I’m telling a story I never thought I’d say out loud. The time in my twenties when I secretly was hooking up with my friends’ boyfriends.

There was no drama. No blowups. No one ever found out. But the real damage? It was what I did to myself.

Fresh out of the military and new to the LGBTQ+ community, I was starving for connection. I confused attention with affection, sex with love, and ended up chasing validation from people who were never really mine. This episode isn’t about glorifying those moments—it’s about owning them. It’s a confession, a reflection, and a cautionary tale about what happens when you don’t yet know your worth.

What if “let’s be friends” isn’t kindness but a coping mechanism?

In this episode, I'm breaking down what it could mean to be offered friendship after rejection and why you don’t have to accept it. From emotional bread crumbing to self-abandonment disguised as "maturity", this episode challenges the myth that staying connected is always the “right” thing to do or an act of being the "bigger person".

Let's explore the difference between being friendly and being friends, the real reason people offer “we can still be friends,” and how we often stay in situationships out of fear, fantasy, or false hope. If you’ve ever felt stuck as someone’s “maybe,” or settled for friendship hoping they’d change their mind, this one is for you.

If this episode hits home, share it with a friend and remember: you get to protect your peace.

In this solo episode, I get real about what it’s like to carry imposter syndrome, burnout, and the weight of always needing to be the “strong one.” From hyper-independence, to chasing success to prove my worth, and how that hustle has left me feeling emotionally numb and disconnected from myself.

This isn’t just about naming what’s broken, it’s about reclaiming what’s possible. I talk about stepping into my soft guy era, choosing environments where I can be my whole self, and redefining strength as vulnerability, rest, and truth.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to be everything for everyone or like your softness made you less than, this one’s for you. Your softness isn’t a weakness. It’s your liberation.

This is a soft, no outline, no script, no talking points, no guest episode, Where i'm being honest about burnout, writer’s block, and the emotional weight of building something real. After 90 days of podcasting consistency, the fatigue is hitting hard. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. This episode isn’t a masterclass or a list of tips. It’s a check-in. A reminder that showing up imperfectly is still powerful.

I'll share about the behind-the-scenes emotional labor of making Black. Queer. Unapologetic., the self-imposed pressure to deliver, and what it means to keep creating through exhaustion without abandoning yourself. If you’ve ever felt like your passion was starting to drain you, or like you needed permission to slow down, this one is for you.

Because being tired doesn’t mean you’re failing — sometimes, it means you’re growing

In this necessary conversation, I sit down with Joseph, a biracial Black and White gay man to talk about the deeply uncomfortable truth behind racial preferences in the queer community. From the casual “no Blacks, no Asians, no This, no That” on dating apps to the fetishization of Black men as sexual objects. Together, we unpack what’s really behind the phrase “it’s just a preference,” and how media and porn have shaped our biases. We also reflect on our own lived experiences being objectified, erased, or hyper-visible for the wrong reasons, and even how people of color internalize anti-Blackness and Eurocentric ideals.

This episode doesn’t offer easy solutions. It’s honest. It’s personal experiences. And it’s just the beginning. Because we didn’t even scratch the surface of colorism, internalized racism among POC, or the ways trauma can shape attraction. A Part 2 might be necessary but for now, this is the truth as we’ve lived it.

Making friends as an adult is hard—but making Black best friends in new cities and unfamiliar spaces? That’s a whole different journey. In this episode, I’m joined by my real-life besties, Nizer and Jamal, as we get into how we found each other, what it means to build deep friendships as Black gay men, and why chosen family hits different.

Gay bars have always been a staple of queer culture, but for BIPOC folks, the experience isn’t always welcoming. This week, I’m joined by Clif, a DJ and no stranger to the insides of LGBTQ nightlife, to unpack what it’s really like navigating queer nightlife as Black and Brown people. We getting real about the need for truly inclusive spaces for ALL OF US.

Are traditional gay bars still serving our community as a whole, or is it time to rethink what safe spaces look like for all of us? Let’s talk about it.

Ever wondered what it’s like to go on a gay cruise? Well, I did too—reluctantly. In this episode, I break down my first experience on a gay cruise in 2023, why the marketing didn’t appeal to me as a Black gay man, and how going with a large group just didn’t work for me. But plot twist—I went again in 2024, and this time, I did it my way.

From the cost (because, baby, this is not a budget trip) to the different groups and meetups (Bears, veterans, BIPOC, Gaymers, and more), I’m sharing everything I wish I had known before stepping on board. If you’re BIPOC and considering a gay cruise, I’ve got insights on what to expect, how to find your people, and whether it’s worth the hype.

And let’s not forget—there’s more than one company out here hosting gay cruises, so if you’re thinking of booking, do your research and find out what works for you!

Have you ever felt like your body wasn’t enough? Like no matter what you did, you were either too much or not enough for the spaces you existed in? In this episode of Black. Queer. Unapologetic., we’re getting real about body image struggles.

From the pressures to fit into the ideal gay body—lean, muscular, light-skinned, and hyper-masculine—to the extreme lengths people go to for validation, we’re unpacking the harm, the hustle, and the healing.

This is a conversation about learning to see ourselves beyond the way we’re seen. About reclaiming our bodies, rejecting toxic beauty standards, and finding spaces where we’re celebrated—not just tolerated.

We’ve spent all February talking about relationships—being single, dating apps, open relationships, hookup culture, and everything in between. But today, we’re closing this series with the most important relationship of all: the one you have with yourself.

In this episode, we’re talking about what it really means to fall in love with yourself—not in a superficial or conceited way, but in a way that brings real confidence, peace, and joy. We’re talking about why self-love has to come from within (not external validation), how to recognize when you’re not loving yourself enough, and practical ways to build a healthier, stronger relationship with you.

Because when you truly love yourself, you stop settling, you stop chasing validation, and you start living life on your own terms.