Margo and I have a long list of the things that we love about one another, but we're not going to pretend that there's a list of things that we don't like. In fact, her words are "the most unattractive thing that you do" to be exact! I had no idea that sitting accross from one another and exchanging things that we aren't necessarily a fan of was a relationship goal of mine, but here we are. Grateful that we've grown to the point where this can take place without insecurity or a desire to take personal jabs taking over. We spend most of our time celebrating one another and sharing the things that we love, so we had a little fun humbling one another for close to an hour!

Anybody dealing with a little bit of chaos right now?? It's so easy for the things that are happening around us to incite responses that can resemble frustration, confusion, anger, axiousness or depression. But do we have to keep going through these cycles? Is our respsponse automated based on the chaos around us, or can we determine whether our peace will remain intact? I can assure you that we have tools at our disposal to combat the craziness! 

You don't make it to 11 years of marriage without some legitimate tests. While the idea of divorce wasn't something we entertained, we were definitely tempted to believe the thought that we'd be miserable because of all that came with our family. But, God!! Today, we can see the fruit of our efforts and the blessings on the other side of much heartache. Things are not perfect, but there is no question that our commitment to doing the right thing has made all of the difference. This moment of gratitude has allowed us to recall what we've been through, how we've overcome, and its stirred up some excitement about the things ahead! 

Pride takes down families. Simple as that. It is as deceptive as it is destructive. If we were to closely examine the issues related to marriage and divorce, as well as other relational conflicts, pride wouldn't be too hard to find. Unfortunately, we all deal with it to some degree. Humility, on the other hand, is what strengthens bonds and makes way for the wisdom that we need to overcome even the most significant relationship issues. 

As a stepparent, you may be tempted to prefer your biological child over your step child. This can show up in the form of comparison, inconsistent execution of discipline, or the outright shunning of your stepkid(s). There are plenty of reasons or excuses that we may use to get to this point, but this outcome is not uncommon! Correcting course so that we're not depending on our bio kids to affirm our identity or soothe our bruised ego is a necessary step. 

We've addressed who it is that we prioritize during singlehood and the early stages of blending. It's time to talk about what comes first when things get serious. Getting this right for our family has not been easy, but it is without question one of our greatest achievements! 

The process of blending your family is not a free-for-all! The decisions we make about how we spend our time, the well-being of our children and the proper way to invest into a love interest are crucial. This means we have to have our priorities straight. Depending on what stage you find yourself the person that requires your investment may look one way or another. Nonetheless, my wife and I have learned that a successful blend depends heavily on keeping the first things first! 

While apologizing is can be considered difficult for obvious reasons, being on the receiving end of an apology can be just as hard for reasons that aren't so apparent. The temptation to open up the floodgates and pounce on the opportunity at hand can seem irresistable. Whether we want them to understand the full weight of their transgression, or we're hoping to share a little bit of the pain, being slightly petty during the "I'm sorry" is something we all have to face at some point. However, those long term results that we want, require grace and a whole lot of tact while we're in the process! 

Another overlooked practice within the family unit, apologizing! This is a gift within every home and a skill to be developed. It's more than just saying "I'm sorry".... genuine apologies result in stronger connections as our homes choose the humility of admission over the pride of pointing the finger. Getting to this point takes time and what may feel like losses in the short term. However, the long-term benefits for the development of our kids and the intimacy within our marriages far outweighs the growing pains!