Ownership of our role as a stepparent, and closeness to our stepkid(s). These things may sound simple, but they can come with much challenge and confusion before things make sense. Do I have the right to refer to him/her as my child? What are the best moves to make in the face of resistance? How do I avoid causing offense or overstepping while also being everything that my stepchild deserves? If you've asked yourself questions like these, you're far from alone! Listen in as my wife and I discuss this very sensitive topic and how maintaining our convictions has led us to achieve both closeness and ownership. 

Who doesn't want to be considered a good parent? We do our best, hope for the best, but what we get back isn't always the best. Sometimes it feels like our kid(s) have concluded that good parents make for better punching bags. If you can relate, your frustration is reasonable! However, we can't be so quick to judge our kids and sum up their behaviors as some form of disrespect or rejection of our efforts. Parenting is a race of endurance, and the good ones are willing to do the work to run well! 

The odds are against us.. Statistics suggest that a significant portion of marriages that include a child from a previous relationship end in divorce/separation. So how do we beat the odds?! After 10 years of blending our family, we can see clearly what has sustained us through even the most difficult moments. We've beat the odds, and we believe that you can too! 

Parents have an incredible amount of power! We get to lead and shape the lives of the the next generation. No pressure! Unfortunately, we don't always do this perfectly. In fact, many mistakes are made along the way. One of the consequences of our misteps is discouragement. This experience exists well beyond the moment that the seed of discouragement is sown, and the effects can be severe. As parents we have to commit to learning from our mistakes and using our authority to encourage and build up our children. Their time under our care is limited! 

Too often we have an almost lazer focus on the things that aren't going well. We can be quick to forget about the wins that we fought so hard to take hold of and give attention to the things that appear to be working against us. Even in the midst of challenge, we can see the good, stir up some much needed gratitude and gain courage to keep moving. Don't get hung up on the pain of resistance. Set your focus on the wins and there will be more to come!  

As much as we may downplay it, fathers are so blessed when they're celebrated! To know that we are loved and supported by those closest to us is what matters most. We may not make this process easy though... Listen in as I discuss ways that you can celebrate the fathers in your life. This helps us to become better fathers, husbands and men on the other side of these moments. Guys, go ahead and make apparent what you want; and for those celebrating them, make sure they know that they're valued! 

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Schedule a consultation with Jeremiah here:  https://calendly.com/renewyou-live/30min

Additional links for Blended:  https://linktr.ee/jeremiahwallace

The power of the reset button cannot be overstated! So many of us have the habit of carrying all of 'yesterday' into our 'now.' The result is offense, mental and physical tiredom and we place expectations on others that aren't fit or fair. My stepdaughter unknowingly introduced me to this concept as she would quickly move past the not-so-positive moments, as if holding onto even the most recent history wasn't worth it. You'll find that this tool will come in handy on a daily basis (sometimes hourly), as we put forth our best efforts to blend well! 

I took the time to answer some blended family questions that I'm sure each of us can relate to! 

Do you accept yourself? As you are? At this very moment?

Most are either slow to answer the question or quick to pinpoint areas that require some serious maintenance. However, it's not just possible, but it is necessary that we are content even in the midst of our efforts to improve. Each of us will have the opportunity to take a step toward acceptance as we work to become best version of ourselves and everything that our family could ask for.