BLUE MUMDAYS

This week I'm joined by the wonderful Christine Cunningham of Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario. Despite sailing through motherhood with her first two children, Christine went on to suffer postnatal depression and anxiety with the birth of her third. In this mega-episode, Christine talks about the shock diagnosis of finding out she had ADHD at the age of 40, when seeking a diagnosis for her son. Christine talks so eloquently about the huge impact this has had on her life and on her role as a mother. A must listen for anyone affected by ADHD.

*TRIGGER WARNING: Postnatal Depression, Anxiety, ADHD*

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:44] Introducing Christine (including her podcast, 'Perinatal Wellbeing').

[02:44] Life before having children - looking back and realising that anxiety was already present in her life.

[03:41] Her oldest son's diagnosis of ADHD and the link back to her.

[04:19] Feeling 'chilled' during pregnancy, labour and delivery and the link between lower levels of oestrogen and ADHD.

[06:00] Having to coach the terrified resident doctor from ER during her first labour!

[07:52] Not doubting herself with her first two sons, but suffering from intense anxiety and guilt with her third.

[10:06] Experiencing the 'baby blues' with her first and how that differed from the postnatal depression she suffered with her third son

[12:15] The expectation that you 'know what to do' by the third pregnancy / struggles with breastfeeding.

[13:05] "I couldn't get my shit together" - developing a fear of leaving the house or being alone with her 3 kids.

[14:40] How this anxiety impacted on her relationship with her older children.

[15:17] Realising straight away that something felt 'off'. Excessive crying, excessive guilt and not being able to make a decision.

[19:16] The fear of going back 'to that place'.

[21:00] Feelings of grief about the experience we lost in early motherhood.

[23:35] Recovery isn't linear - the fear of 'slipping back'.

[24:51] The hell of PND/PPD and the feeling of clarity and gratitude Christine felt when she started to recover.

[27:16] The role of medication and hormones. Introducing the 'Fanny Club'!

[30:24] Davina - fitness videos and the menopause.

[31:24] The impact of hormones on symptoms of ADHD.

[32:04] Getting a diagnosis for her son.

[33:35] Biological males and biological females present differently with ADHD. The misconceptions and stereotypes of ADHD 'behaviour'.

[34:52] Looking back - how the diagnosis helped her make sense of her past, the feeling that she was always 'missing the mark'.

[36:34] ADHD does not mean you're not intelligent! The benefits of a neurodivergent mind.

[38:54] The lack of support for adults with ADHD.

[39:48] The link between ADHD and GAD (General Anxiety Disorder).

[40:46] Christine's initial bias against ADHD medication. The lack of support available when you don't take medication.

[43:02] How an anxiety programme helped with her son's feelings of anger and frustration.

[44:19] Vikki's brother's friend given Ritalin in the 1980s. Christine's concerns over medication.

[45:55] Christine's discovery that unmedicated ADHD is what can lead to addiction - not the medication itself.

[46:52] The stress of homeschooling during the Covid pandemic.

[49:15] The role of executive functioning and how it is impaired by ADHD.

[50:19] Finding the right medication - 'it's been lifechanging'.

[54:27] Mark Williams' late diagnosis of ADHD (see the 'Daddy Blues' episodes). The importance of validation.

[57:37] The intersection of ADHD and postpartum depression. The role of hormones.

[01:00:21] The 'fight or flight' panic of PND and postnatal anxiety. The role of the prefrontal cortex and impaired executive functioning.

[01:05:07] Overwhelm.

[01:09:27] How to get hold of Christine.

[01:10:22] Recommended listen - how you can hear Christine's fantastic podcast, 'Perinatal Wellbeing'.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. NHS information on ADHD
2. ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association
3. Additude Magazine - article on Executive Dysfunction in those with ADHD
4. ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD
5. The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity
6. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario – Christine’s website
7. The Perinatal Wellbeing Podcast

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

NEXT EPISODE:

In a Movember male-mental-health special, I chat to Professor Viren Swami. Viren is Professor of Social Psychology at Anglia Ruskin University and is ranked in the top 2% of 'most-cited scientists' in the world. Viren's research is focused on the promotion of positive body image in diverse cultural groups, as well as mental health literacy and understandings of mental ill-health.

His work has moved on to include paternal postnatal depression following Viren's own struggles with fatherhood. He talks to me very candidly about the effects of suffering from PND after the birth of his son. Not to be missed.

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association

National Resource Center (NRC)/ADHD Helpline Health Information Specialists

866-200-8098, Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. — 5 p.m. ET

ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD

The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

Call us - 0151 541 9020

Email - [email protected]

AIMS for better birthing.

Email: [email protected]

This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

FiveXMore

A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

Email: [email protected]

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

LGBT Mummies

Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

Email: [email protected]

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

Mayah's Legacy

Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

Email: [email protected]

0300 102 1596

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[email protected]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

[email protected]

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[email protected]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

[email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Sands Charity

Emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby.

0808 164 3332

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to...

Season 2 launches with a Q&A with Liz Wise, specialist PND Counsellor and founder of the Cedar House Support Group.

I put your most asked questions to Liz in this special episode, from "How do I know it's PND?" to "How long will recovery take?"

Demystifying the illness and dispelling the myths, this episode is 'all you wanted to know about PND but were too afraid to ask'.

*TRIGGER WARNING: POSTNATAL DEPRESSION*

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] BMDs intro

[00:17] Introduction to Liz Wise

[02:25] "How do I know it's PND?"

[03:31] "How does it differ from the Baby Blues?"

[04:10] "Will my baby be taken away from me?"

[05:16] "How common is PND?"

[07:05] "What are the risk factors for developing perinatal illness?"

[11:03] "Is postnatal depression like other forms of depression?"

[11:35] "How many years need to go by before it's no longer PND?"

[15:00] "Is it important to seek help?"

[16:40] "What about antidepressants?"

[20:41] "What support is available?"

[24:09] "What percentage of men suffer from it?"

[25:15] "What are the triggers of PND?"

[28:02] "How does PND affect your bond with your baby?"

[29:40] "Are there any positives to having PND?"

[30:53] "How long does it take to recover from PND?"

[33:20] "What percentage of women make a recovery?"

[33:31] "Is it possible for PND to come back, but only experience it with your first child?"

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. The 'Baby Blues' affects about 1 in 2 women and typically occurs between days 3 and 7 following the birth. It's a chemical change when the breastmilk comes in and the symptoms usually subside by day 14. If these feelings get worse or aren't going away, please speak to your GP to get support.
2. Your baby will not be taken away from you if you open up about how you are feeling - that's a myth.
3. Research shows that around 20% of women (1 in 5) are affected by PND and other perinatal mental health issues, but many more suffer in silence.
4. 1 in 10 fathers are officially affected by postnatal depression - there are likely to be many more who don't talk about it.
5. Risk factors can include: a previous history of depression, IVF and fertility treatment, women who have lost their mother pre-puberty (or have a distant or dysfunctional relationship with them), births of multiples and the lack of a supportive relationship.
6. Many women Liz has seen have had an unresolved issue or trauma from the past.
7. Members of the LGBTQ+ community can have increased susceptibility, due to the lack of support around them.
8. PND shares many symptoms with generalised depression and is defined as "a depressive episode after childbirth".
9. PND is typically a temporary episode that you completely recover from, with the right support. If it's not dealt with, it can continue, so the sooner you seek support the better. It's never too late to seek support for having PND or birth-related trauma from the past.
10. Reaching out for help is a strength, not a weakness. There is no shame in it and it's hugely important to get support as early as possible.
11. In Liz's 30 years of helping women with PND, she's found antidepressants really helpful with recovery. There are lots of different types of medication you can try - it's a myth they will change your personality, but they should make you feel like your old self again.
12. Support options can include counselling, therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, medication, homeopathy, accupuncture and peer support groups, like Cedar House. It can be a great comfort to be amongst others suffering and realise you are not alone.
13. The majority of women with PND and postnatal anxiety have 'hooks' over issues like breastfeeding, bonding, lack of sleep, health issues, weaning and many others.
14. It's a myth that women with postnatal depression don't love their babies - the majority do not experience attachment issues. For those who do struggle to bond with their baby, those feelings will come through - be reassured that they always come.
15. Many people who have experienced PND would not be without the experience - they've found it has had a positive impact in their lives, especially with their children. It has taught them awareness of themselves, their mental health and emotions and has made them attentive to other people's emotions.
16. Recovery can't be predicted as everyone is different. However recovery can take time and it isn't linear. There will be lots of ups and downs.
17. When women get to about 70% recovery, it's common to follow a long period of feeling good with a dip. This is often related to premenstrual symptoms and doesn't mean you are 'going backwards'.
18. According to Liz, the recovery rate from PND is happily 100%.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. 

It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

NEXT EPISODE:

Next time I'm joined by the wonderful Christine Cunningham of Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario. Despite sailing through motherhood with her first two children, Christine went on to suffer postnatal depression and anxiety with the birth of her third. She also talks about the discovery of her ADHD (a recent diagnosis) and the affect this has on her parenting.

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

AIMS for better birthing.

Email: [email protected]

This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

FiveXMore

A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

Email: [email protected]

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

LGBT Mummies

Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

Email: [email protected]

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

Mayah's Legacy

Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

Email: [email protected]

0300 102 1596

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[email protected]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

[email protected]

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[email protected]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Sands Charity

Emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby.

0808 164 3332

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

Twins Trust

Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

alternatively email [email protected].

Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

Tommy’s

Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

Web: www.tommys.org

Helpline: Tommy’s

helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Email: [email protected]

MUSIC by

I chat to perinatal mental health blogger, peer supporter and charity campaigner Eve Canavan, BEM in this Blue MumDays special for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. Eve is a founding member of the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership and the lead co-ordinator for MMHAW - now in its 6th year and a global success.

In this follow up to her story (Episode 19), Eve tells me about the birth of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week and her very special collaboration with EastEnders and Mind, to inform Stacey's Postpartum Psychosis storyline.

(In Part 1, Eve talks very frankly about her lived experience of Postpartum Psychosis, 12 years ago after the birth of her son.)

*TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTHING INJURIES, BIRTH TRAUMA & POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS*

Apologies for the sound quality on this episode - at times my microphone had interference, which I didn't realise at the time. I hope this doesn't spoil what was a fantastic conversation.

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[01:31] Introduction to Eve Canavan.

[02:26] The Perinatal Mental Health Partnership - setting up Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.

[07:53] This year's special MMHAW sessions include Postpartum Rage, Birth Injuries, Birth Trauma, Your Body Post Birth, Mum & Baby Yoga and Dad's With PTSD.

[14:26] Pelvic floor health - and the need to open up about birth injuries and incontinence.

[18:10] Where to find these special MMHAW resources.

[19:25] This year's theme: 'The Power of Connection' - the importance of peer support.

[20:07] The key fear against speaking out: "I don't want my baby to taken off me".

[21:23] Gender disappointment.

[27:32] Eve's involvement with the BBC's soap opera EastEnders, informing the character Stacey's storyline of Postpartum Psychosis.

[33:34] Advice for anyone concerned about Postpartum Psychosis - it's a psychiatric emergency.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. You can read Eve's blog here.
2. Perinatal Mental Health Partnership website.
3. Perinatal Mental Health Partnership FACEBOOK
4. PMHP INSTAGRAM
5. PMPH TWITTER
6. Dr. Caroline Boyd
7. Fit Fanny Adams - pelvic floor expert.
8. Dr Lindsay McMillan - expert on gender disappointment.
9. Action on Postpartum Psychosis.
10. EastEnders: Stacey's storyline with PPP
11. Mind - the mental health charity
12. Postpartum Psychosis is a psychiatric emergency so don't be afraid to go straight to A&E if you are concerned.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

SEASON 2 *COMING SOON*

We are taking a very short break, but have a fantastic Season 2 lined up - we can't wait to share it with you very soon - watch this space!

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

AIMS for better birthing.

Email: [email protected]

This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

FiveXMore

A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

[email protected]

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

LGBT Mummies

Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

Email: [email protected]

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

Mayah's Legacy

Supporting parents who have experienced pregnancy loss.

[email protected]

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[email protected]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

[email protected]

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[email protected]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

Twins Trust

Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

alternatively email [email protected].

Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

Tommy’s

Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

Web: www.tommys.org

Helpline: Tommy’s

helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Email: [email protected]

MUSIC by Joseph McDade

I chat to perinatal mental health blogger, peer supporter and charity campaigner Eve Canavan, BEM in this Blue MumDays special for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. Eve is a founding member of the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership and the lead co-ordinator for MMHAW - now in its 6th year and a global success. In this fantastic and super honest chat, Eve tells me about her lived experience of postpartum psychosis, 12 years ago after the birth of her son.

(In Part 2, she discusses the birth of MMHAW and how she collaborated with EastEnders to deliver Stacey's PPP storyline.)

*TRIGGER WARNING: POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS, brief mention of MISCARRIAGE*



IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[01:40] Introduction to Eve Canavan.

[05:31] Life before motherhood.

[10:20] Why it's important for women to own their own experiences.

[13:00] Suffering incontinence after giving birth.

[14:07] Bleeding after birth - 'lochia'.

[17:51] Speaking out about perinatal illness - sharing your story.

[25:11] Eve's birth experience.

[27:10] The first signs that things weren't right.

[32:24] Leaving hospital - early signs of postpartum psychosis.

[34:41] Realising she was frightened of her baby - feeling trapped.

[37:15] Escalating psychosis.

[40:07] Being fobbed off

[43:11] Finally seeing a psychiatrist - being admitted to a Mother & Baby Unit.

[45:15] Given medication to help and exposure therapy.

[50:25] Getting better - Home-Start, complex PTSD and EMDR therapy.

[51:15] Wanting to tell her story - choosing what to share.

[54:31] The difference between the baby blues, PND and postpartum psychosis.

[57:03] Postpartum psychosis is a psychiatric emergency.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. Peer support can be a tremendous help - just knowing you are not alone and getting some hope of recovery. Try and find support groups in your local area (Facebook is normally helpful for this).
2. Information on double wombs can be found on this link.
3. You can read Eve's blog here.
4. Perinatal Mental Health Partnership
5. Action on Postpartum Psychosis.
6. Don't be afraid to tell your GP or health visitor about how you're really thinking or feeling - it may feel frightening, but it's really crucial for getting the support you need.
7. Home-Start - local support for families.
8. EastEnders: Stacey's storyline
9. Mind - the mental health charity's information on postpartum psychosis

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

SEASON 2 *COMING SOON*

We are taking a very short break, but have a fantastic Season 2 lined up - we can't wait to share it with you very soon - watch this space!

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

AIMS for better birthing.

Email: [email protected]

This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

FiveXMore

A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

[email protected]

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

LGBT Mummies

Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

Email: [email protected]

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[email protected]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

[email protected]

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[email protected]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

Twins Trust

Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

alternatively email [email protected].

Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

Tommy’s

Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

Web: www.tommys.org

Helpline: Tommy’s

helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Email: [email protected]

MUSIC by Joseph McDade

Dr Andrew Mayers joins me for the final episode of Season 1. He's an academic psychologist specialising in - and campaigning for - better maternal and paternal mental health. We discuss MBUs, bonding issues suffered by some parents with perinatal illness, mum guilt, postpartum psychosis and the impact sleep deprivation has on mental health issues. We also cover the mental health of fathers and inequalities suffered by black and ethnic minority mums and LGBTQ+ parents within the perinatal health system.

*TRIGGER WARNING: BONDING ISSUES/BIRTH TRAUMA/POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS*

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[01:27] Introduction to Dr Andrew Mayers and his work.

[05:14] Mother & Baby Units - what they do.

[07:54] The '1001 Critical Days' of a child's development - from pregnancy till age 2.

[11:57] Bonding issues - not the mum's fault.

[16:14] What perinatal illnesses do to the parent.

[17:45] The supposed 'rush of love'/baby blues - the role of hormones after birth.

[19:20] The difference between 'normal' depression and postnatal depression.

[20:55] The role of grief or loss within PND. Traumatic births.

[23:24] Managing expectations vs. reality during pregnancy.

[25:15] Postpartum Psychosis.

[28:23] Maternal OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

[30:23] Advice for families and friends - how they can help.

[34:49] The massive link between sleep deprivation and mental health.

[36:15] Advice for parents who are sleep deprived.

[37:39] Fathers can get postnatal depression too.

[43:23] Looking ahead - what Andy wants to see happen.

[45:48] Different types of family - we need to be more inclusive for same sex and trans parents.

[48:05] Inequalities experienced by black and ethnic minority parents within the perinatal health system.

[50:14] Advice for anyone worried about a loved one or suffering themselves and worried about seeking help.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. andrewmayers.uk - further information on Andy and his work.
2. '1001 Critical Days' report - The first 1001 days include pregnancy and the first two years of a child's life. There is clear, compelling evidence that this is a significant and influential phase in development. This is an age of opportunity. What happens during this period lays the foundation for every child’s future health, wellbeing, learning and earnings potential. It sets the groundwork for children’s developing emotional wellbeing, resilience and adaptability; the competencies they need to thrive.
3. DorPiP - Support for families in Dorset. Andy is a trustee.
4. Blue MumDays Ep 1: Liz Wise (bonding) - a reassuring listen for any parents who struggle to bond with their baby. We chat to both Liz and her adult daughter Emma, who Liz struggled to bond with when she was a baby.
5. When Birth Leads To Trauma - Episode dedicated to understanding Birth Trauma with Dr. Rebecca Moore.
6. Action on Postpartum Psychosis - Action on Postpartum Psychosis is the national charity for women and families affected by postpartum psychosis (PP).
7. Maternal OCD charity - ‘OCD is a significant but a treatable problem. However, lack of knowledge amongst women experiencing perinatal OCD and the professionals they encounter has sometimes been a huge barrier to accessing treatment. Maternal OCD play a key role in helping women and healthcare professionals gain a better understanding of this disorder and how to identify and treat it’ - Dr. Fiona Challacombe
8. ZombieMum podcast - Laura Dockrill's incredible podcast on postpartum psychosis and PND.
9. Loving Kindness Meditation - our special 15 minute bonus episode to help you relax, rest and reset. You don't need to meditate - just close your eyes and listen for a moment of calm to yourself.
10. 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 1 / 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 2 - Mark is a pioneer for father's mental health, following his own experience of PND.
11. Elliott Rae's episode on vicarious birth trauma - from a dad's perspective.
12. FiveXMore is a grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Also Motivational Mums Club and The Motherhood Group.
13. Christina Brown's episode on the experience of black mums
14. The Doula Episode with AJ Silver of The Queer Birth Club.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

SEASON 2 *COMING SOON*

We are taking a very short break, but have a fantastic Season 2 lined up - we can't wait to share it with you very soon - watch this space!

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

AIMS for better birthing.

Email: [email protected]

This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

FiveXMore

A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

[email protected]

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

LGBT Mummies

Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

Email: [email protected]

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[email protected]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

[email protected]

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[email protected]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

Twins Trust

Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

alternatively email [email protected].

Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

Tommy’s

Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

Web: www.tommys.org

Helpline: Tommy’s

helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

via email, Facebook, 

Dr Rebecca Moore joins me for a Blue MumDays special discussing birth trauma. Rebecca is a perinatal psychiatrist, mother and co-founder of 'Make Birth Better', a collective of experts who offer support and training and campaign for better understanding of birth trauma and vicarious trauma.

*TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA*

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[01:29] Introduction to Dr Rebecca Moore.

[04:37] Definition of birth trauma.

[10:17] The inequality of care and discrimination faced by black and ethnic minority mums - this needs to change.

[12:49] The importance of validation and advocacy during your birth.

[17:54] Partners can be affected by birth trauma too.

[18:20] Birth debriefs - first port of call after trauma.

[21:30] Sources of support - including PANDAs, AIMS and Make Birth Better.

[25:43] Doulas (see Episode 16 with Doula AJ Silver).

[26:09] Rebecca's own birth experiences - feeling alone in her first labour.

[32:03] Parents considering another pregnancy after a traumatic birth.

[36:27] You should have choices in the positions you birth in.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. Trauma is a completely unique, subjective experience. Birth trauma is your experience of your birth, irrespective of whether you or your baby were in actual danger.
2. Birth trauma is largely about interpersonal factors - being left alone, dismissed, being subjected to racism, lack of consent or lack of compassion.
3. Birth by nature is unpredictable. Try and have conversations beforehand about the support you may need during birth, but trust your instincts and accept that things may change during the course of the birth.
4. FiveXMore is a grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Also Motivational Mums Club and The Motherhood Group.
5. Christina Brown's episode on the experience of black mums
6. 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 1 / 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 2
7. Elliott Rae's episode on vicarious birth trauma
8. The Doula Episode with AJ Silver.
9. AIMS for better birthing.
10. Make Birth Better - Rebecca's organisation for supporting parents and healthcare professionals suffering from birth trauma or vicarious trauma.
11. City Birth Trauma Scale

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

In Episode 18 I chat to academic psychologist Dr Andrew Mayers, who specialises in and campaigns around maternal and paternal mental health.

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

AIMS for better birthing.

Email: [email protected]

This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

FiveXMore

A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

[email protected]

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

LGBT Mummies

Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

Email: [email protected]

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[email protected]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[email protected]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

Twins Trust

Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

alternatively email [email protected].

Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

Tommy’s

Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

Web: www.tommys.org

Helpline: Tommy’s

helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Email: [email protected]

MUSIC by Joseph McDade

The delightful AJ Silver joins me this week for an entertaining and very moving chat about their traumatic first birth experience, which led them to go on to train and work as a Doula. We discuss everything from the difficulties faced by same sex couples within the perinatal system, to the warmth of our pets tummies and killer flapjacks!

*TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA*

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[01:35] Introduction to AJ Silver of Queer Birth Club.

[05:44] What a Doula actually does.

[08:55] The important of advocacy for parents.

[10:07] The birth outcomes of people using a Doula.

[11:16] How doulas are generally regarded by the medical profession.

[13:46] AJ's own experience of giving birth.

[14:43] Their first birth - lots of intervention and feeling like a passenger.

[16:20] Deciding to become a Doula following a much happier second birth.

[19:07] Judgement - for being gay and being fat. BMI being used as a cut off for gallstone treatment.

[23:55] The difficulties faced by same sex couples in the perinatal system.

[33:54] How many in the LGBT+ community are at increased risk of experiencing negative perinatal health outcomes or difficulties, especially Trans or non-binary parents.

[37:18] Lesbian couples registering births is increasing year on year by 15-20%, over the last 10 years.

[38:56] Across the world, more and more people are coming out every year. Nearly half of 18-24 year olds in 2015 didn't consider themselves to be entirely heterosexual.

[47:00] AJ's early days with their first daughter - "I felt like my body didn't work". Chest-feeding difficulties.

[50:03] How the Doula training helped AJ come to terms with what happened with their first birth.

[55:19] AJ's guide to killer porridge and flapjacks with grated apple!

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. Doulas support in pregnancy, birth and in the postnatal period by providing information, advocacy, and offering practical and emotional support to the whole family.
2. Doula UK
3. Same sex couples often face discrimination within the medical system, especially in terms of IVF and fertility.
4. LGBT Mummies
5. There are barriers faced by non-gestational mums in terms of accessing parental services.
6. The Queer Birth Club - how to get hold of AJ.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

In Episode 17, Dr Rebecca Moore joins me for a Blue MumDays special discussing birth trauma. Rebecca is a perinatal psychiatrist, mother and co-founder of 'Make Birth Better', a collective of experts who offer support, training and campaign around birth trauma and vicarious trauma. One not to miss.

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

FiveXMore

A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

[email protected]

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

LGBT Mummies

Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

Email: [email protected]

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[email protected]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[email protected]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

Twins Trust

Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

alternatively email [email protected].

Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

Tommy’s

Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

Web: www.tommys.org

Helpline: Tommy’s

helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Email: [email protected]

MUSIC by Joseph McDade

MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL: My mum is a warrior - she has not had an easy life. From an early career as an Astronomer Royal's Personal Computer at Herstmonceux, mum had to give this up to follow my dad's job. After multiple miscarriages she experienced pre-eclampsia, a traumatic birth and PTSD with my brother Graham. His disability wasn't properly diagnosed until he was 37.

I came along 2 and a half years later and mum suffered postnatal depression for the second time - an illness that received no support or understanding back then. The family moved to rural Scotland when I was 4, where she nursed me throughout my childhood with life-threatening asthma and a rare blood disorder. She also nursed my brother through teenage lymph cancer and my dad through multiple heart attacks.

Mum was prescribed arsenic by her family GP as a child, which left her with life-long skin cancer - she's had over 60 surgeries and counting. She survived breast cancer in her '50s and developed end stage kidney failure in her '70s. Despite chronic pain and poor health, Nina is still remarkably strong, very kind and extremely loving. It's an honour to call her my mum.

This conversation, recorded a few months ago, was the first time we really talked about her own experience of PND. She's a very private person, so I am endlessly grateful for her going back to revisit those dark times in the hopes of helping others.

Since this was recorded, my brother has had a very serious heart attack. Thanks to the quick actions of both my mum and the ambulance service, he survived and is now recovering well. I'd like to dedicate this episode to him.

*TRIGGER WARNING: MISCARRIAGE, BIRTH TRAUMA AND A BRIEF MENTION OF STILLBIRTH*

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[01:15] Introduction to Nina Spilsted - my lovely mum!

[03:17] The lack of knowledge and support for PND in the 1960s and 70s.

[03:42] 3 miscarriages and then pregnant with Graham. Enforced rest and a very clinical approach, unsmiling approach in hospital. Pre-eclampsia and bed rest.

[04:40] Induced then a 27 hour labour. Feelings of trauma.

[05:33] No support for her multiple baby losses - expectation to 'carry on as normal'. Feelings of failure - "why can't I have a baby?"

[07:24] Bed rest and monitoring of the baby. Ignorance about birth and babies. Lack of family support and no baby groups.

[08:37] Sent to a cottage hospital after the birth, for recuperation. Lack of information on discharge - "I didn't know what a health visitor was". Lack of support from her own mum - "nothing was ever discussed".

[10:04] Graham's birth - trauma. Feelings of fear and loneliness.

[11:39] Difficulty bonding with him at first.

[12:59] Total exhaustion and overwhelm. Lack of the 'euphoric' moment when Graham arrived.

[14:39] Going home with her baby - struggles. Lack of support from her mother and husband.

[15:59] Difficulty breastfeeding - feelings of guilt and failure.

[18:57] The need to be kind to yourself as a mother.

[20:10] Realising she needed help. Sheer exhaustion - holding down a job as well as being a new mum.

[21:42] Medicated by the doctor - not being able to remember much of that period. No knowledge of postnatal depression.

[24:26] Suspicions that Graham may not be developing as he should be.

[27:59] Another baby loss then pregnant with me. Flashbacks from Graham's traumatic birth caused great anxiety.

[30:37] PND, great anxiety and the grief of losing another baby in between.

[33:07] Pre-eclampsia for the second time and mum's experience of my birth.

[37:32] Retreating into herself - feelings of agrophobia.

[39:31] Finding a 'bonus for the day'. Gradual recovery.

[41:05] Looking back at the experience. Trying not to anticipate trouble or worrying about things. Appreciating every day she has.

[45:50] Finding out I was pregnant with mum's first and only grandson! Losing my first pregnancy early on. Stanley's early arrival!

[49:44] Recognising PND symptoms in me. Helping me get support.

[55:01] The importance of kind words.

[56:23] Lack of family support.

[57:29] Not talking to friends about what she was experiencing.

[01:01:47] Motherhood is the most important job in the world. So why is it so undervalued?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. Kind words can really make a difference. So if you see someone struggling, a smile or compassion could help. And if you ask them if they are okay, ask them twice - the second time you might get an honest answer.
2. It is so important you are kind to yourself - a happy mum means a happy baby. You can't look after others if you can't look after yourself first. If you struggle with this, I hope these episodes are helpful: The Self Compassion episode (part 1), The Self Compassion episode (part 2) and the Loving Kindness Meditation (specially created for Blue MumDays listeners).
3. Finding a 'bonus for the day' can be helpful - something to lift your spirits, whether it's a lovely cup of coffee, a beautiful flower or a gorgeous blue sky. Something to hang onto and give you hope.
4. You are not the only one in the world feeling like this and you will not feel like this forever.
5. Families are more separate in modern life, so many don't have family support at hand.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

In Episode 16 I talk to the fabulous AJ Silver of The Queer Birth Club, born of the necessity to fill the void of LGBT+ inclusion in the birth world. We talk about their birth experience and work as a birth and postnatal doula.

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

FiveXMore

A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

[email protected]

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[email protected]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[email protected]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

Twins Trust

Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

alternatively email [email protected].

Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

Tommy’s

Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

Web: www.tommys.org

Helpline: Tommy’s

helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Email: [email protected]

MUSIC by Joseph McDade

Today's guest is the wonderful Christina Brown of the Motivational Mums Club, who found herself pregnant again within months of giving birth. As someone who was very career driven, this was a huge shock and she developed maternal mental health issues after the birth of her daughter. Chrissy talks about this experience and how it renewed her passion for helping other mothers - this time with an emphasis on supporting their mental health. She is determined that other mums should have access to the help they need. (This episode was recorded in the middle of winter.)

*TRIGGER WARNING: BRIEF MENTION OF EARLY BABY LOSS*

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[02:07] Introduction to Christina Brown.

[03:26] Chrissy's background in the corporate world, very ambitious and career driven.

[07:15] Getting pregnant - in-between bleedings and worry about miscarrying, keeping quiet.

[09:39] Relaxing into the pregnancy and the safe delivery of her son.

[10:21] Starting 'Motivational Mums' whilst a new mum - sharing experiences of motherhood.

[13:34] Feeling emotionally well, thanks to a good support system.

[14:58] The shock of finding herself 12 weeks pregnant, when her son Zane was less than 7 months.

[19:40] Getting referred by her GP and her first scan.

[22:23] The impact on her return to work - a lot to take in.

[23:51] Filled with anxiety - "I lost myself".

[28:51] Life with '2 under 2' - tears, but unable to tell the midwife.

[31:09] The pressures on black mums - being judged, not being listened to, cultural expectations.

[34:19] Telling her GP - the Edinburgh Test, rejecting anti-depressants and a lack of peer support.

[36:21] 'Motivational Mums' is reborn - positive affirmations about motherhood, keeping it real.

[38:29] Offering free mental health sessions for mothers and birthing people.

[39:32] 'Young Positive Minds' - encouraging self confidence and resilience in young people.

[40:44] The huge need for children's mental health support and how we, as parents with mental illness, can help them through our own lived experience.

[41:44] The affect of the pandemic, uncertainty in the world and social pressure on our young people - being told how they should look, how they should behave.

[43:02] The importance of affirmation and positive reinforcement in building emotional resilience.

[44:15] Partners shouldn't be forgotten about - they need support to.

[45:33] Losing her identity - the importance to still be 'you', despite looking after everyone else.

[47:01] "We don't have a moment to be still" - give yourself grace, you have permission to "be still"

[50:21] So many mums feel guilty for doing anything for themselves. But self care is crucial.

[51:19] How to get hold of Chrissy - website and contact links.

[52:22] "The first year after giving birth, every mother is entitled to counselling under the NHS."

[53:30] Talking helps - counselling is a safe space.

[54:24] Chrissy's calling - taking a career break to concentrate on both her businesses.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. According to the NHS, you can get pregnant as little as 3 weeks after the birth of a baby, even if you're breastfeeding and your periods haven't started again. Unless you want to get pregnant again, it's important to use some kind of contraception every time you have sex after giving birth, including the first time. Breastfeeding is not a contraceptive.
2. Black mums are 4 times more likely to die in childbirth and rates of PND/anxiety are significantly higher than they are in white mums - yet black mums are less likely to seek help or be listened to. (Metro)
3. FiveXMore is a grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.
4. 1 in 6 children and young people have a diagnosable mental health illness, and many continue to have these problems into adulthood. (Place 2 Be) With children's mental health at an all-time low, having a parent who has experienced a mental health issue is actually helpful for them - we are empowering our children, bringing them up in an environment where they know it's ok to not be ok, and giving them the tools for mental resilience.
5. ELFT (East London NHS Foundation Trust)
6. Motivational Mums Club - Contact Chrissy here. MMC offers Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist who’s also a Mother.
7. It is so important as mothers to allow ourselves to be still, practice self-care and reconnect with who we were before we become a parent. For help with this, please listen to the resources below:
8. The Self Compassion episode (part 1)
9. The Self Compassion episode (part 2)
10. Loving Kindness Meditation (specially created for Blue MumDays listeners)

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

In Episode 15 - my most personal to date - I chat to my own beloved mum, Nina, for the first time about her experiences of postnatal depression in the late 1960s.

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

Contact: for families with disabled children

Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.

• helpline: 0808 808 3555
• website: https://contact.org.uk/

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Family Lives

An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• helpline: 0808 800 2222
• website: www.familylives.org.uk

Family Rights Group

Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.

• helpline: 0808 801 0366
• website: www.frg.org.uk

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

Gingerbread

Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.

• helpline: 0808 802 0925
• website: www.gingerbread.org.uk

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

The Motherhood Group

Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

[email protected]

Motivational Mums Club

Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

Music Football Fatherhood

Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

[email protected]

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

Twins Trust

Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

alternatively email [email protected].

Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

Tommy’s

Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

Web: www.tommys.org

Helpline: Tommy’s

helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Email: [email protected]

MUSIC by Joseph McDade

Hannah Hardy-Jones, mental health advocate and CEO of the Kite Program, developed bipolar disorder after the traumatic birth of her daughter. In Part 2, Hannah talks about what inspired her to start Kite to support the mental health of others, the benefits of having bipolar and the hugely positive experience she had with the birth of her second child, Henry.

*TRIGGER WARNING: BI-POLAR DISORDER*

! Apologies for my Siamese cat Brandy miaowing in the background at points !

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

[00:00] Teaser quote

[01:03] Introduction to Hannah Hardy-Jones (Part 2)

[02:50] The affect Hannah's bipolar disorder has had on her husband Nick

[04:35] Starting The Kite Program - a beautifully designed, emotionally supportive app for mums and beyond

[08:57] The decision to have a second baby after her traumatic first birth - support in place

[11:10] The risk of having a psychotic episode - nightmares about what could happen

[11:45] A beautiful birth with Henry - immediate connection and a healing experience

[13:01] How Alice's birth gave Hannah the gift of doing what she's doing now - looking back

[14:55] "Can I do this again?" Considering having another baby after trauma or PND

[19:55] The impact on Hannah's daughter Alice

[21:22] "We talk about mental health" - building an emotional toolkit for her daughter

[24:25] "My brain is a different brain" - life since her diagnosis - more creative and confident

[25:50] The benefits of neurodiversity in creativity

[27:05] Hannah's negative views on 'mental health' when she worked in HR, before her lived experience

[30:14] Trying to help other people understand what it feels like - Vikki's experience

[32:54] How looking at Google and forums can be damaging

[34:26] These feelings don't last for ever - you will not always feel this way

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. The pressure to have another child. It's okay not to want to have another child after perinatal illness.
2. However with the right support in place you can have a really successful second birth and not necessarily be affected by mental health issues second time around.
3. Bipolar can actually unlock positive parts of your brain.
4. Don't look at Google or forums for advice, these can be triggering.
5. These feelings are temporary - you will not feel this way for ever.
6. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
7. NHS info on Bipolar Disorder
8. Bipolar UK email: [email protected]
9. The Kite Program app

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram

Twitter

Join our Facebook Group

Email: [email protected]

NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

In Episode 14 we chat to the hugely inspiring Christina Brown of the Motivational Mums Club, on discovering she was pregnant again within months of having her first child and her subsequent experience of postnatal depression.

SUPPORT:

If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 020 3322 9900

Andy's Man Club

A non-judgemental talking group for men

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

Email: [email protected]

Association of Postnatal Illness

Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

Email: [email protected]

Live chat online facility

Best Beginnings

Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

and early stages of parenting.

App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

Bi-Polar UK

email: [email protected]

Birth Trauma Association

Email: [email protected]

CALM

Contact CALM

on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

Cedar House Support Group

Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise)

Mobile: 07773 283556

DadsNet 

Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

Fathers Reaching Out

https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

The Hub of Hope

A directory of mental health support around the UK.

Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

Email: [email protected]

Maternal OCD

Peer support available, email [email protected] to

arrange

Muslim Women’s Network

Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

and Bengali.

Email: [email protected]

Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

Text: 07415 206 936

Netmums

Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

Clinic.

NHS

Contact your local GP surgery.

Call the NHS on 111

or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

PANDAS

Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

Email support available – [email protected]

Petals

Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

or baby loss.

Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 0300 688 0068

Samaritans

Tel: 116 123

(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

Web: www.samaritans.org

Email: [email protected]

Shout

Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

Twins Trust

Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

alternatively email [email protected].

Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

Tommy’s

Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

Web: www.tommys.org

Helpline: Tommy’s

helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Email: [email protected]

MUSIC by Joseph McDade