botanical studies of internet magic

By kening zhuBusiness Entrepreneurship

botanical studies of internet magic episodes

March 19, 202405. the wandering way of the artist hermit
this episode is about leaping into the void. then, living in the leaps. I share my story of leaving NYC, slow traveling the world during a pandemic, and the treasures I found, deep within my artist-hermit self.
from being suffocated by pressure — to creating from presence

embracing a life without plans, goals, or expectations

a digital detox to silence the noise in my head

why make art even if no one sees it?!

devotion to creation as a practice of inhaling + exhaling life.

house on the webs - website as a garden, house, a world I carry with me, everywhere I go

this is Chapter 4 of my wayfinding journey, in which I gave myself the medicine, deprogramming, and creative/spiritual retreat I so desperately needed, and, in the process, discovered within me an inexhaustible power and desire to make art, no matter what. 🌸

--
read the text transcript of this episode
visit me on my ⁠⁠⁠⁠website-world⁠⁠⁠⁠
sign up for ⁠⁠⁠⁠my weekly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠
21 min
March 12, 202404. how do I survive as a creative and not hate myself?
this week's chapter on my wayfinding journey is about my years of the creative hustle, in which I tortured myself with the question: “how do I survive as a creative, and not hate myself?"
I’ll explore:
my personal distillations of the prescribed / trailmarked paths of success — for writers, visual artists, and business owners

how I thought something was wrong with me for not climbing those ladders (and what I realized instead)

the illusion of safety + promise of conditional success… (that is, if you just override the self)

why “means to an end” thinking doesn’t work for me

how and why process is my guiding compass instead

this is about my Jump #3: from new creative entrepreneur trying to follow a 10-step plan of "shoulds"… to jumping into the void of my artist-hermit self.

--
⁠read the ⁠text⁠⁠⁠ for this podcast episode
visit me on my ⁠⁠⁠website-world⁠⁠⁠
sign up for ⁠⁠⁠my weekly newsletter⁠⁠⁠
21 min
March 05, 202403. this is a one way road
A very personal account of the extreme feelings that lead me to quit my full time / part time jobs, and commit to working for myself.
This is a continuation of my series on wayfinding (my series of jumps into the void), featuring Jump #2: from aspiring writer with a 9-5 job — to deciding to become an entrepreneur.
I’ll explore these topics:
the ever-present feeling of wasting my life

life as a recovering good asian daughter / repressed creative / secret obscurus

the idea of energetic reciprocity as an embodied feeling

the notion that in order to feel safe, you must compromise yourself

an infinite earning potential as a metaphor for expansion

the desire to give 100% to the work that belonged to me

escaping the cycle of job samsara

My “one way road” was more like a deeply anxiety-provoking, messy, uncertain, tangled wandering in the dark. but I’ll explain why it was (and still is) worth every second.

--
read the ⁠text⁠⁠ for this podcast episode
visit me on my ⁠⁠website-world⁠⁠
sign up for ⁠⁠my weekly newsletter⁠⁠
20 min
February 28, 202402. throwing away the iron rice bowl
the "Iron Rice Bowl" is a Chinese metaphor for job security and stability (aka, what we, as artists and entrepreneurs, didn’t exactly choose.)
this is a beginning of a series about wayfinding, in which I’ll share the phases of my own decade long journey, from (almost) the very beginning.
I’m unveiling the ghosts of my head, and untangling a few themes:
inherited cultural blueprints of what “success” means

immigrant Chinese-American values, and de-programming

quitting the marathon of accomplishment & prestige

the SOS alarm bell of panic

on choosing to be a writer, with a 9-5 day job.

then, I begin to open the question: if not Iron Rice Bowl, then what?

***
read the ⁠text⁠ for this podcast episode
visit me on my ⁠website-world⁠
sign up for ⁠my weekly newsletter⁠
22 min
February 15, 2024 01. hello friend, welcome
an introduction; an opening of themes and unspooling of threads:

🌱 botanical -- plant life as a metaphor for creation
🪁 studies -- a way of curiosity, growth, and discovery
🏕 internet -- a space to inhabit, build, and be
🪼 magic -- the power of energetics and creativity

***
read text and notes for this podcast episode
visit me on my website-world
sign up for my weekly newsletter

16 min