Botched: A D&D Podcast

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Apparently if you see woods, and those woods have skulls tied to each tree, with the words “keep out” written in most languages, you should just ignore that and go inside. Makes sense if you don’t think about it. Once inside these lovely, dark, and deep woods it is oddly quiet. I’m sure that’s an okay sign. Not like murderous cyborgs will be popping out of trees with mortars, satellites and cannons or anything. If they can make it past that hypothetical situation, I’m sure Garth will just be waiting in his cabin with a kettle of tea to share. What’s the deal with this cabin? Why do these cyborgs look like junk? Who the hell is this scientist anyways? Why does Zoop Zoop think trying to mate with him will be the ticket past his defenses? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at [email protected]

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Now that we can add child endangerment, kidnapping, and planning to commit ritual homicide to the list of crimes the crew has committed...just kidding there is no law out here in space! The crew has arrived at the planet of Saphira. Hiding spot of Garth Jefferson. Zorthox is looking for him in hopes that he might be the key to reopening the portal to hell. However, there is a Not’n’avi ship floating around the planet acting rather strangely...oh well, nothing terrible I’m sure. Down to the planet they go where it’s calm, peaceful, and easily color corrected. What is going on with that space lobster? Are these actually Not’n’avi? Why is the crew so eager to reopen a portal to hell? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?! Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at [email protected]

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! After having...aided in the destruction of Better Earth...we now have no more Earths. Well, it’s just a burning husk, but I guess that counts for something? Before the group leaves they get to witness the immediate aftermath. It turns out, most other races in the galaxy weren’t the biggest fans of the Muricans. The crew is feeling altruistic, so they decide to help out a school bus of kids fleeing the destruction. I’m sure they have no ulterior motives at all. What would a group of murderous space faring monsters want with a group of children? Will anyone come to the defense of the Muricans? Where will the crew go next? Will Perkins ever make a friend? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at [email protected]

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The party has finally made it out of the Murican puzzle dungeon and is now only a few steps from the capitol building. Starting off in the sewers below the city, I wonder what sort of creatures may be lurking down there. Assuming they get into the capitol, somehow, then what? Zoop Zoop is supposed to drop a forcefield so the others can invade. Zorthox wants to gain access to their library. Joran is there to create a terrible influence via leadership and Yokkish is there to bitch about Joran. The building does look like a dick, so the president or whatever they call it, is probably at the tip-tip top. What creature could live in the sewer and feed off of poop? What will happen once the forcefield drops? Will they be able to stop the planet destroying ships? What happens if Yokkish sees blood? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Holy Crap! This is our 250th episode! I can’t believe we have been around this long, let alone that anyone is listening to it. This episode is also all about classic presidents! We recorded it in December and then it just so happened that it falls on President’s Day. Go figure! Honestly, I didn’t plan it. I can’t think more than a day at a time, let alone months in advance. Anywho, the crew is finally at the end of the puzzle dungeon. All that stands between them and the capitol is a golden door...and a room with 6 presidential statues. I’m sure there’s no trap or anything. Not that the group would bother trying to wander into a trap. They will literally just go out of their way to spring something, even if it wouldn’t have gone off otherwise. Is there anything dangerous in this room? Did Dennis forget about Jon’s frog legs? What is on this golden door? How many hit points is a lot of hit points? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Ok, full disclosure. We did not plan the assault on the ACTUAL american capitol. We recorded this episode and the last episode a solid month before all the craziness in the world happened. It is kind of funny that we said it on the show...and then it immediately happened though. That being sad, this week is a puzzle dungeon! These trials and tribulations were created by and for true Muricans. You must hold that in your heart if you are to be successful. Sometimes puzzles are the traps! In order to really understand this puzzle dungeon you have to think like a Murican. Aka, small minded and pretty dumb. Why does this dungeon have a swirling grease hole? What do all these towers do? What do the libs like to do with their free time? What’s ol’ Bernie Sanders doin’ these days in the far flung future? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! It seems that when Yokkish’s drunk ex-sister-in-law drank a big container of some mystery liquid before jumping out into space...they probably should have made sure she was dead. Now she has utilized the newly upgraded Jaegers, courtesy of our crackpot crew, to weaponize the facility and go on her merry way. While the crew has a big cruise ship at their disposal, what they don’t have is a ship with a decent amount of fire power. Giving up, they decide to head to a space farmers market before heading to Better Earth. Why is Yokkish so hungry and molty all of a sudden? Why would the crew want a space lobster? Who goes to a space farmers market on an asteroid? What the hell is a greech? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The crew is finally at the computer core. Oh, there’s like 9 million buttons. Well how hard can it be to figure out which one turns everything back on? Just ask the waitstaff, I’m sure they’ll know. Everyone knows the waitstaff are secretly computer programmers. Well assuming that goes horribly awry, that wendigo is probably going to show up soon. Hopefully this room has some sort of anti-wendigo weaponry. If they can make it out alive, they’ll have a fancy new ship to bring back to their army of once drunk robots! Can they survive the wendigo? Why would a cruise ship have a self destruct sequence? What is a rocket powered morningstar? How happy are the drunk robots going to be to see them? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Deciding to face off in one on one combat with his greatest fear, a wendigo, Jokkish sustains numerous wounds. However, instead of finishing him off, the wendigo leaves Jokkish alone. Wonder what that means. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew goes up to the bridge in hopes of getting out of this floating rig of death. However, they instead find gooey pods with people in them. Unbeknownst to the rest of the crew, Zoop Zoop is feeling a serious maternal instinct pop in, never having children of his own. His internal clock must be ticking. Why are people in pods? What else is in these pods? Can they be trusted? How do they get off the ship? What’s wrong with making people sign a contract in order for you to save their lives? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group now apparently has control of a factory that manufactures sentient robots. Formerly drunk robots that are now just highly efficient. I’m sure the group will have nothing but benevolent plans in mind for them. As for the mission at hand, the crew must eliminate the last of Plakku’s ex wives. This one is a vampire. Apparently. They land on the cruise ship and immediately find out this is not the same threat they have faced before. Perhaps, this wife actually is a monster. Locked in the ship, with no way out and no way to communicate the crew must figure out the best way to survive. What is Yokkish’s biggest fear? What happens when you get bitten enough times by some monsters? What sort of nefarious plans can you create with an army of murder robots, led by would be dictators? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer