Braised Bits

0:00-7:30: The chefs immediately get things escalated with a volley about stairs and escalators. Lance cancel cultures Jesse the beach bum, and they assign the Braiserbacks some homework. Plus, the chefs get a gander into the world of Goose.

7:00-32:00: Highlights time. Jesse talks a Carmine's and Broadway date with his madre (that Lance wasn't invited to, but he'd love to come next time. Jesse will let him know). Lance recaps his trip to Boston, Jesse's favorite city of all-time, that was totally in his top 9 cities. Jesse really does love davidov the city of Boston.

32:00-56:00: Lance and Jesse start Don simmering with their Top 9 favorite soups. Note that tomato soup is on neither of their lists.

56:00-58:50: The chefs advertise potential advertisements, painting a holistic picture of the benefit-bits you'd get from advertising in the cast iron skillet.

58:50-1:05:40: Lance shares a parking snafus williams that he experienced while in Jesse's favorite city, Boston. Jesse Sparks off his own Was That a Joke? with an Indiana Fever that he had.

1:05:40-1:11:50: QAB time. Lance dislikes when people hover at grocery stores. Jesse finds it Questionable at Best when socks tell you that they are left socks or right socks.

1:11:40-116:12: Lance and Jesse bring in the closer, which Gianmarco's the end of another great episode of Braised Bits.

00:00-2:53: The chefs dive into the pod-kitchen and get cooking from the jump. They discuss the previous episode and how it went having their first guest on the pod.

2:53-5:28: Lance shares some recent communication he had with pod nemesis Eric Seidel. The poker pro provided further reasoning for why he picked his winner of the review contest.

5:28- 17:36: Lance and Jesse talk about their highlights from the last week which include Lance going sicko mode and Jesse burying TJ Miller at a comedy show.

17:36- 1:03:03: The chefs list out each of the their top nine favorite appetizers from Italian restaurants.

1:03:03- 1:05:24: Lance and Jesse LA read some advertisements for the pod including an in house ad and a promo for a Lasik braisic eye procedure.

1:05:24- 1:09:58: The Braised Bits classic “was that a joke” segment includes Lance finding the warm winter weather to be doing a bit and Jesse trying some word play with a comic at a show that falls flat soda.

1:09:58- 1:15:03: The chefs share their “questionable at best” issues from the past week which involve Lance’s appendicitis and Jesse having a tough time at a Radish Radisson hotel on the road.

1:15:03-1:19:37: Lance sings the closing bits song and the chefs plug some upcoming shows.

00:00-4:50: Lance and Jesse introduce a new chef doing a residency for this episode. They determine that he is in questionable pod shape, but that his innate cooking talent will enable him to learn fast.

4:50-15:30: The chefs reveal the winner of Food52 (Refinery 29?) gift card contest, as judged by pod friend and mortal nemesis Eric Seidell

15:30-28:00: Weekly highlights. Lance talks about a run over the Williamsburg Bridge w/ his wife. Bret Maine-ly talks about his trip to Bangor, and Jesse lets the sun set over the highlights segment with some recap of his post-set hang at Mohegan Sun.

28:00-44:15: Lance, Jesse, and Bret stir-fry together their favorite things about convenience stores. Jesse monitors us all from the camera that shows all the different angles in the store.

44:15-48:50: This week's ep is sponsored by Pat's Monday night shift at the Lantern, and Chairspace. The three chefs also try to figure out who the fifth member in One Direction Is.

48:50-1:04:00: For the Was That a Joke? segment, Bret gives us the lowdown on his infamous retirement from comedy. This is some real pipin hot comedy Ryan Gossipling!

1:04:00-119:45: This week's Questionable at best, which features Jesse having another Q.A.B. interaction over what he's drinking at a bar. Lance talks about people giving conflicting advice when trying to buy pod equipment, and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

119:45-1:23:00: The chefs bring in the closer, Bret plugs his new pod Just the Plugs.

00:00-2:31: The chefs turn on the flame and start cooking up the first pod of 2020. Jesse shares that he used to have a figurine of Fluffy the three headed dog from Harry Potter, which was mentioned in the last epi.

2:31-3:25: Lance notes how Instagram may have copied the Braised Bits top nine list idea and the chefs express how difficult it is for them to discuss things off podcast. They have to save it for the pod.

3:25-15:36: Jesse goes into his highlights from the past week including some San Antonio spur of the moment decisions to attend a football game and a concert.

15:36-26:35: Lance dives into his previous weeks highlights which includes a bucket list experience at Minetta Tavern in NYC and being stupefied by how good their black label burger was.

26:35-1:09:45: Lance and Jesse list out their top nine animals and try out a new format for the segment.

1:09:45-1:10:48: Jesse does a quick ad for Pats Monday night shift at the Lantern and Lance generously gives his time back to the room.

1:10:48- 1:15:17 :Jesse's “was that a joke” involves him hearing a joke from a podcast and then falsely relaying it as a fact. Lance explains the predicament he encounters when he is giving tours and one of his attendees asks him to tell a joke.

1:15:17- 1:20:07: The chefs jump into there questionable at best segment. Jesse talks about being called a douche bag for his drink choice and Lance discusses how in today’s society it feels like there’s no room for leisure for leisure sake.

1:20:24- 1:22:43: Lance sings the closing song and the chefs plug their upcoming show.

Episode Highlights:

00:00-7:10: The chefs welcome all the braiserbacks to another healthy and hearty meal, while taking temperature of each other's hot and iced coffee habits and wondering who is truly a friend of a farmer

7:10-23:40: Jesse shares his experience of being a weekend road dog (woof woof) in Hartford and Boston, complete with an encore performance at the roulette table. Lance talks about crackling fires and central park, but mostly criticizes dogs (not of the road variety).

23:40-58:50: The chefs put up some coffee and challah at each other while debating their top 9 breakfast foods. No waffling here!

58:50-01:03:40: A word from our sponsors. Lance shares a Peanut Butter service announcement, and Jesse shares a special deal for all Brasierbacks.

1:03:40-1:09:38: Jesse shares a joke from a family member that bombed hard to a restaurant server. Lance talks about of mild cut of rough he recently experienced at Fairway Supermarket.

1:09:38-1:15:15: For this week's questionable at best, Jesse unleashes some off-road rage at tailgate-happy drivers. Lance questions American's questionable at best attitude toward foreign languages.

1:15:15-1:18:20: The chefs bring in the closer and take some mints on the way out as they wrap up another napoleon dynamite episode.

00:00- 3:29: The comedy chefs start off the pod scorching hot and discuss their enjoyment of how Hanukah starts at a different date every year.

3:29- 7:50 : Lance and Jesse reveal the details of their gift card giveaway which rewards the best Braised Bits Apple Podcast review, judged by pod nemesis Eric Seidel, with a $50 gift card giveaway to Food52.com.

7:50-9:14 : Lance explains the new missed connections segment of the podcast and shares an example he has from the previous episode.

9:14-16:06: The chefs dive into their highlights from the previous week including Jesses’ clean set in Pelham, NY and Lance’s love for the Trader Joe's chipwich.

16:06-1:106:14: Lance and Jesse go back to their food roots and list their top nine sit-down chain restaurants.

1:06:14-1:08:13: Jesse promotes his free monthly show at the Lantern called Giggles N’ cream and Lance reads an ad for Lip Recruiter.

1:08:13- 1:13:10: The Chefs jump into their classic “Was that a Joke” segment. Lance talks about a joke text message that he sent to a fellow comic as well as a stressful laundry situation he endured. Jesse reassures the Braiserbacks that the story he told earlier in the pod about his sweaty elbow was not a joke.

1:13:10- 1:20:00:The questionable at best segment involves Jesse calling out creepy male open mic comics and Lance discussing a frustrating group of people blocking the side-walk.

1:20:00-1:23:30 Lance and Jesse sing the closing music and plug their upcoming shows.

Show Highlights:

00:00-4:00: The chefs start cooking hot with riff's on Post Malone's illustrious Guitar Hero career

4:00-13:00: The chefs debut a new segment, "Missed Connections," highlighted by Sammy's Romanian Steakhouse, to which Jesse has shockingly never been.

13:00-16:00: The chefs announce an exciting new contest with the chance for Braiserbacks to win a gift card! They also send out a call to Goose.

16:00-36:30: Highlights. Jesse raves about some excellent xaio long bao he recently had in Flushing. Lance talks his trip to Kansas City (top 9 city?), and breaks down his brisket sando, brussel wilson sprouts, and a lot more.

37:30-1:26:00: Lance and Jesse share their top 9 sports moments from the 2010s(?). Lance and Jesse also Blake Griffin all over the Timofey Mozgov that is Boston sports fans.

1:26:00-1:26:40: Jesse shares a word from a sponsor. Lance gives some time back to the room.

1:26:40-1:31:20 For this week's "Was That a Joke" segment, Jesse accurately tells time and is widely criticized. Lance wonders if certain hot yoga attendees are joking.

1:31:20-1:38:00: Questionable at Best. Jesse has a Al ca-Bone to pick with the Golden Globe directorial nominations. Lance is upset about the amount of screen pollution at the Newark Airport.

1:38:00-1:43:54: The chefs lock up the keys to the pod with some Shkreli talk and debut a new exit theme.

00:00-2:00: The comedy chefs jump into the kitchen and discuss their new intro music for the podcast.

2:00- 6:40: Lance shares some family feedback and podcast suggestions he received over Thanksgiving, including a new segment idea.

6:40- 9:12 :Jesse reveals the identity of a loyal Braiserback living abroad in Chile.

9:12- 22:45: Jesse and Lance go over their highlights from the week including Eric Seidel's performance during the Turkey Bowl, Lance makes a homemade stew and Jesse's young cousin remembers his name.

22:45- 24:20: Jesse reads an advertisement for Pat's Monday night shift at the Lantern.

24:20- 1:02:45: The chefs reveal their top 9 list of food combinations and get into a heated debate over a few pairings.

1:02:45: 1:05:40: Lance and Jesse read a few words from their sponsors.

1:05:40-1:07:34: Lance pitches a freshly braised bit about how getting older and having your interests change.

1:07:34- 1:15:44: The chefs dive into their "Was that A Joke" segment and they both discuss different experiences they had receiving tough responses from their jokes.

1:15:44- 1:23:58: Lance and Jesse serve up their famous questionable at best segment. Jesse shares some harsh criticism he received and Lance talks about a group of people at a comedy show who rotated in and out of the room.

1:23:58-1:26:04: The chefs bring in the closer and the plug where they are going to be in the near future.

Episode highlights:

0:00-1:00: The comedy chefs wish you a Happy Thanksgiving weekend, from our kitchen to yours.

1:00-3:44: The chefs share an important word from our episode sponsor. Shoutout to Pat.

3:45-11:20: Jesse discusses funny feedback from a top notch Braiserback and a successful visit to the dentist. Lance shares the harrowing story of his slow teeth and the tennis (badminton?) racket that is his current dental glenn quagmire.

11:20-14:45: Lance shares the latest feedback from our pod nemesis Eric Seidell, who continues to hold all his cards close to the vest.

14:50-19:30 Lance shares he and his wife's decision to cut the Jordan and Bret (ray)bold move to cut the cable cord, and replace it with a roku diamond phillips. The chefs talk about some of the differences in mindset between millennials and OK Boomers.

19:30-1:09:10: The comedy chefs share their top 9 cities of the world. All of these cities know how to cook hot!

19:20:1:10 Jesse shares a message from another sponsor and Dat Phan favorite

1:10:15-1:14:45 The chefs go into classic braised bits segment, was that a joke? Jesse goes for a Greg Maddux style changeup, and Lance makes solid contact with his contact lens issue. Lance also reveals he's a shriveled up husk due to his lack of eyedrop and chapstick use. The chefs get uneasy due to the loud yelling from Lance's neighbors.

1:14:45-1:19:45: The chefs share their QABs. Jesse talks a FIFA strategy that's questionable at best. Lance wonders why cashew butter has decided to be so expensive.

1:19:45-close: The chefs bring in John Franco to successfully close out yet another successful Braised Bits

OO:OO-4:32: The comedy chefs jump into the kitchen and start cookin hot. They reveal that both of their mothers had recently heard about the podcast.

4:32-5:45: Lance and Jesse dive into some rich riff sauce concerning the pledge of allegiance.

5:45-8:58: The chefs discuss some new names for the listeners as well as there takes on TV shows about stand up comedy.

8:58-13:24: Jesse discusses his highlight of the week, which connects the NBA and the podcast.

13:24-16:41: The chefs reminisce about the now defunct toasted sandwich shop Quiznos.

16:41-23:16: Lance shares his highlight of the week, which involves a rare Saturday night without comedy, and the thrill of having plans cancelled.

23:16-47:57: Jesse and Lance list out their top nine favorite things about Thanksgiving.

47:57-50:51: The chefs share a word from the shows sponsors.

50:51- 55:31: During the Is that a Joke segment Lance shares a tale from hosting bar trivia and Jesse confirms that the feedback from his mother was not a joke.

55:31-1:10:14: Jesse shares a tough comedy show experience involving a bachelorette party for his QAB and Lance brings up a frustrating event that occurs when waiting for an elevator.

1:10:23-1:16:26 Jesse and Lance bring in John Franco and do some plugs.