It’s just me this week—and I’m spilling the tea from my younger years that I’ve never shared before. Let’s just say… if you’ve ever wondered how your attachment style might’ve shaped your love life, this one’s going to hit home.

I’m diving into the ways I sabotaged a relationship without even realizing it—and the powerful lessons that surfaced once I understood why. 💭

We’re wrapping up our deep dive into attachment styles with this final solo episode before Kelli’s back next week, and trust me—you don’t want to miss the plot twist in this story.

Tune in for a little laughter, a little cringe, and a whole lot of self-awareness. 🎙️

Books on Attachment:

Attached by Dr. Amir Levine

The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy Ho

Anxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHC

The Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloys

The Inner Work

The Inner Work of Relationships

**You can find these books on Amazon**

Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:

Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.com

Jimmy on Relationships (on all platforms)

Jbirdfit (On all platforms)

Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)

Mack (on TikTok)

Natashavctoria (TikTok)

When someone sees us up close, the mirror doesn’t lie. Relationships have a way of exposing the hurts we’ve hidden and the patterns we’d rather ignore. In this episode, we’ll step into those uncomfortable reflections—why they surface, what they’re trying to teach us, and how facing them can become the doorway to deeper healing and truer connection.

Books on Attachment:

Attached by Dr. Amir Levine

The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy Ho

Anxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHC

The Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloys

**You can find these books on Amazon**

Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:

Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.com

Mack (on TikTok)

Jbirdfit (On all platforms)

Natashavctoria (TikTok)

Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)

In this episode Kelli and I talk about the surgery I’m having today. We also share about the hard but beautiful truth that sometimes we simply can’t do it all on our own.

I open up about those first days after Dave died, when I knew I couldn’t raise four kids without a village. Admitting I needed help was one of the most humbling moments of my life, but also where I saw God’s faithfulness the clearest.

Join us for an honest conversation about surrender, community, and the quiet courage it takes to say, “I can’t do this alone.”

🙏 Your prayers for my surgery and recovery mean more than I can say.

This week’s episode took a surprise turn. Kelli and I had a different episode planned, but life had other ideas. Instead, we found ourselves talking through some of the really raw and challenging moments of being a mom—the ones that can feel heavy and lonely. 💛

To every mom out there carrying so much: we see you, we get it, and you are not alone.

And because sometimes the only way through the hard stuff is to laugh, we shifted gears and swapped random childhood stories, the kind that make you forget the weight for a minute and just breathe.

It’s unplanned, a little messy, and completely real—like motherhood itself.

☕ Grab your coffee, settle in, and join us for a dose of real talk and laughter.

We’re continuing the conversation from last week about how fearful and dismissive avoidants use deactivating strategies when closeness starts to feel overwhelming. For avoidants, caring too much or fearing rejection often triggers the instinct to pull back—because distance feels safer than vulnerability.

In this episode, Raynea and Kelli walk through 21 different ways avoidants create space in relationships, from slowing down texts and ghosting to picking fights, withholding affection, or downplaying the importance of the relationship. These patterns can be subtle, like surface-level conversations, or more obvious, like cheating or emotional withdrawal—but all serve the same purpose: self-protection.

If you’ve ever wondered why avoidants seem to back away just when things are going well, this episode will bring clarity, compassion, and a deeper understanding of what’s really happening beneath the surface.

If you found value in this conversation please be sure to subscribe, leave a comment, and share this with someone else that needs to hear it.

You can find me on IG @coachingwithraynea

Books on Attachment:

Attached by Dr. Amir Levine

The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy Ho

Anxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHC

The Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloys

**You can find these books on Amazon**

Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:

Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.com

Mack (on TikTok)

Jbirdfit (On all platforms)

Natashavctoria (TikTok)

Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything feels amazing one day… and then suddenly, the other person goes quiet, distant, or even picks a fight out of nowhere? Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about today.

In this episode, Kelli and I dive into the world of avoidant deactivation—what happens when fearful and dismissive avoidants start pulling back in relationships. We share:

• The real reasons behind why avoidants shut down.

• How fearful avoidants and dismissive avoidants deactivate differently.

• Real-life examples you might recognize in yourself—or someone you love.

• Better ways to ask for space without pushing someone away completely.

This isn’t about shaming anyone—it’s about shining a light on patterns that so many of us fall into and learning how to move toward healthier, safer connections.

So grab your coffee, lean in, and let’s talk about what really happens when we pull away.

If this episode reasonates with you please be sure to like, follow and share with someone that needs to hear it.

If you could sit down with your younger self, what would you say? In this episode, Kelli and I each share some powerful pieces of wisdom we wish we had known 10 years ago. From lessons learned through pain to truths that set us free, we open up about the insights that shaped our journeys. We end with an invitation for you to reflect on your own “lesson learned” and how it might guide your path forward today.

Kelli and I had such a real conversation today about that little dash between the day we’re born and the day we leave this earth. That dash is our one life—what are we doing with it? We talk about being intentional with our time and our words, treasuring the moments with the people we love, and making sure no one ever has to wonder how we feel. It’s about living full out, being bold, and not wasting the gift of each day we’re given.

If you found value in my podcast be sure to follow, share and leave a review. If you'd like to connect further you can find me on Instagram @coachingwithraynea.

Your identity isn’t up for debate — it’s already been spoken over you by God. But if we’re honest, the voices of others can feel louder than His sometimes. In today’s episode, we’ll dive into why we care so much about what people think, how to untangle our worth from approval, and how the Let Them mindset can help us walk in freedom. If you’re ready to stop shrinking to fit into other people’s boxes and start standing in who God says you are, this episode is for you.

Identity as a Child of God:

Child of God: Romas 8:16 and John 1:12 affirm that believers are children of God

Adopted Child: Ephesians 1:5 state that believers are adopted as God's children.

Heir: Romans 8:17 says that believers are heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ.

Friend of Jesus: John 15:15 says that believers are friends of Jesus.

United with Christ: 1 Corinthians 6:17 says that believers are united with the Lord

Complete in Christ: Colosians 2: 9-10 says that believers are complete in Christ.

Redeemed and Forgiven: Colosians 1:13-14 says that believers have been redeemed and forgiven.

Sealed by the Holy Spirit: Ephesians 1:13 says that believers are sealed with the Holy Spirit.

Temple of the Holy Spirit: Corinthians 6:19 says that believers bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.

Chosen by God: Ephesians 1:4, 11 sasys that believers are chosen by God.

Justified: Romans 5:1 says that believers have been justified.

New Creation: 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that believers are a new creation.

Free from Condemnation: Romans 8:1-2 says that believers are free from condemnation.

Citizens of Heaven: Phillippians 3:20 says that believers are citizens of heaven.

Blessed: Ephesians 1:3 says that believers are blessed with every spiritual blessing.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made: Psalm 139:14 says that believers are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Worth More Than Sparrow: Matthew 10:31 says that believers are worth more than many sparrows.

If you found value in my podcast be sure to follow, share and leave a review. If you'd like to connect further you can find me on Instagram @coachingwithraynea.

What do you do when the last child leaves the house—and the quiet sets in? And what if you're still raising kids, but you've already walked five out the door?

In this heartfelt episode, Kelli shares what it’s been like watching her stepdaughter—the last to leave—step into adulthood, officially making her a new member of the empty nest club. I (Raynea) reflect on the journey of launching five grown kids, while still in the midst of raising two at home. Together, we explore what it means to let go, redefine our roles, and grieve the shifting identity that comes with each stage of motherhood.

Whether your home is quiet or still full of noise and needs, this episode will remind you: you’re not alone in this in-between.