https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DIDsiusny0&feature=youtu.be

The power of being a good listener.

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

Better to be interested, or interesting?

Hi I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

This is a, it's becoming a common saying I've heard it around quite a bit. I don't know who came up with it. But the the real question is, is is it better to be interesting or interested?

And the real answer is, it's better to be interested in. So what's that mean?

What are you saying, Well, when it comes down to is, when you're talking, especially in a business relationship, even especially when you're starting a business relationship with somebody, is it more important to be interesting and to put on a nice big show for them, or is it more important to be interested in them, where they're going what they're doing, I heard somebody make a reference to this in terms of coaching, they do something similar to me, I'm a business strategist.

So I work with business owners and executives, to help them explode their businesses. And one of the main things that I do is I ask a lot of questions, everything is all about that person, or that team of people, and where they're looking at taking things. And if they don't have a clear way that they're taking things, and don't want a clear way of taking things, you can't really go anywhere.

But it takes time to be able to figure that out to be interested enough in people to not just ask a questions, but to listen to the answers. And to be able to ask proper follow up questions.

I have a list of questions I normally work with initially that kind of gets the conversation going, but the conversation can then go anywhere from there. It all depends on what the answers are. And the questions are what bring out the, the answers.

One thing I've learned is it's not anything having to do with me. And it's not just in this business, it's not just me as a, as a strategist, that this is true, this is true in any situation, the customer, the whole concept of being customer centric, is to put them as the star of the show, is to find out what they're after.

See if what you have can help get them there. That's the whole point of commerce itself. So if you spend more time being interested in them, which is a lot more difficult to do when it comes to like e commerce and things of that sort where you're, you're distant from the customer, you need to try and bridge that gap as much as possible. Yes, surveys, yes.

You know, good customer service that asks good questions and, and spends time with the people. That's helpful. But if you as the business owner and executive if you could be in contact with them. A little difficult right now. We're in early 2021. And still, under a lot of lockdowns have to do with the COVID-19 crisis.

But there's ways there's ways to be in touch with people, there's ways to be a human with them. You can open yourself up to, to video chats, and live on Facebook or over zoom, where you open yourself up to your customer base, do it, get to know them. spend less time talking about yourself and spend more time finding out more about them.

Hopefully, that's helpful to you be more interested than interesting. And I think you'll get a lot of success out of it. If you'd like more concepts of things that can really blow your business up in a good way. Go check out my book, 9 Ways to Amazon-Proof Your Business you can get a free c...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V12iDuzqJ1M&feature=youtu.be

R E S P E C T goes both ways. Some thoughts on why the customer isn't always right.

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

Time to fire your customers.

I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

I don't mean all your customers, but you do need to fire some customers more than likely.

In fact, one of the things when I come in and I end up working with companies, one of the first things we do is we identify who the best customers are. And we identify who the worst customers are.

And we do everything in our power to get rid of the worst customers. And we give them a chance we let them leave nicely, or we give them a chance to become better customers. But you can't act like it isn't a two way street.

I think so much of the issues now, even in society. And I don't just mean the United States where I where I reside here, we're here in Southern Oregon. I don't just mean here, I mean, around the world, only, I think in in America, in North America, you United States of America, I should say.

It's more obvious, right, it's more clear cut, because there's been such a huge difference between both sides, both different ways, the world has changed so much in such a short period of time, that there's a there's a big thing going on, and it comes back, I'm going to bring this back around to your business and your customers.

But it comes from thinking that we're all owed something, and that our side is better than their side, you know, and oftentimes, this is this happens in business all the time. It's, the employers owe something to the employees, the employees owe something to the employers, the the customers that very rarely do people think that the customers owe the person that is selling the item, but it's a two way street.

If you're selling it, you have the ability to make a price and and define the quality. And then the customer can pay that or not pay that.

But it's a two way street, it's not one is not better than the other one is not more powerful than the other, it takes two to make the engagement happen. And way too often, we keep acting like one side has power over the other, they only have power in the sense that they may have one side may have more power over one resource or another. But that doesn't mean they actually have power.

Because that side wants something from the other side, and they either get it or they don't get it. And if they don't get it, they can go and get the same thing somewhere else. So don't fall for it yourself as a business owner, or an executive of a business.

You should not fall for the idea that the customer because they're our customer are somehow better than you. They're a human being. They want something and hopefully you have something that they want, so that they're willing to exchange their money for what you have. I know this is just basic 101 economics, but it's the thing that most of us Miss.

And we fall for all of the jealousy and envy and all these things that occur in society nowadays, that try and pit us against each other. If you just see people for being people, regardless of all the other entanglements, all the other physical features and everything else that we get wrapped up in.

If you just see a person for being a person, and that includes seeing yourself on on a level, you don't have to put yourself down to bring someone else up and you don't have ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf2CmXlDF8o&feature=youtu.be

It's hard to sell someone on an idea they don't want.

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

They have to want it.

Hi I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

Every once a while I find myself in a situation where I'm talking to somebody who was not necessarily set up properly to want, what I have to give. And the same thing is true in your business.

If you own a business, if you're an executive of a business, you will oftentimes be in front of people, either through your marketing or in person, where they don't necessarily want what you have.

Now, I'm not saying they don't need what you have, they probably do need what you have. I know a lot of people that offer things that everybody needs, but very few want.

What gets sold is not what people need, what gets sold is what people want. Now, sometimes they're in the same place at the same time. Sometimes what they need also happens to be something that they want. But it's not going to matter whether they need it or not.

What matters is whether they want it because one thing is going to cause the motion that is going to make that thing be bought, whether that thing is a service or a product or what have you, it's all about your end customer wanting it.

I was having a conversation with some folks earlier today. And I don't think it's not necessarily even that they didn't want what I was able to provide, but that it hadn't been exactly clear as to what that was and if that's not clear, then they don't want it. They don't want it. They don't if they don't know where you're trying to take them.

If they don't know the destination, if they don't know the benefits of what you're providing. What's in it, for me is the question that they all have on their minds.

What am I going to get out of this, if you can't give that to them ahead of time, they're not going to want to go through all the rigmarole, especially if you have a process like mine, which is relatively detailed and thorough.

They're not going to want to go through that process. They have to know they want what you're providing. Or they at least have to have an idea that they want it. And if they don't, you're going to get resistance.

This is where so much resistance happens, both before the sale and after the sale because the sale is only the beginning.

If you have especially if you work one on one with people, one on one with clients, the long in the long run, the sale is ongoing, you're always attempting to get them to re-buy in mentally to the process. And if there's resistance at any point, it just won't work.

Especially if you're doing something that's really helpful to people. Oftentimes it requires work on their end, it requires them buying in to some extent. And you got to have that ahead of time.

If you don't have it ahead of time, you're going to have resistance, and that resistance causes stress on both ends of the relationship and you end up with unsatisfied customers and clients. So just a nice quick reminder, give them what they want. Find out what they want, show them how to get it if at all possible. If you want to find out ways to be able to go go about doing that.

Go check out my book, 9 Ways to Amazon-Proof Your Business. You can find a free link at AmazonProofBook.com. We'll be back tomorrow night. In the meantime,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAnx9PEUhhI&feature=youtu.be

How to people view your business and what can you do to change it, if needed?

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

How is your business perceived?

Hi I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

How is it perceived? If you have a business, which a lot of the people watching do, how is it perceived? Especially by your ideal market, the ideal person for you, your ideal client customer, what have you.

How do they see your business?

If they see your business, if they don't see your business that's a whole nother ball of wax. But if they are noticing you, what do they think about you?

Do they have a perception? Is there a perception placed around you?

And is there just something that you, is there a way you want to be seen?

Or is there a way that you're actually being seen do those two things match?

So there's two points about this, I want to bring up first point, how do you find out, right.

You find out by asking your customers, you ask them, you find out from the people that already know you, especially if they know you like you and trust you even better. But you find out from them.

You got to sit down and talk to them, you got to call them up, you got to email them, you have to conversate with them on social media, you have to ask, when you think of my business, what do you think of?

What do you like best about it?

How did you find out about us?

If you had to compare us to something else, what would you compare us to?

And it's not an easy, these aren't easy questions to ask. And they're not easy questions to answer. It really takes digging to find out where, where how they see you.

Are there other people providing similar products that you would compare us to? Are there other things, you know, if you're providing, I'm just making something up? If you're, if you're creating cat food?

Is there a dog food company they know that then compare you to? These are all perception things?

They're very much their subconscious, right?

They're below the surface, it takes a little digging to figure it out. But if you figure that out, then you can figure out how to change it.

Now, if you want to go around that, let's get to the second point. The second point is how do you go about changing it? How do you instill a perception about where you're at?

Well, you have to surround you your brand, with other brands, with other ideas, other concepts that people are already familiar with, that they can relate back to you.

And sometimes this means becoming a celebrity, which we talk we have a whole chapter about about being somebody and, 9 Ways to Amazon-Proof Your Business. That's my book, go get your own free copy at AmazonProofBook.com, you can go download it right now.

You may need to be a celebrity, you may need to be your own thing. And it's something I definitely highly recommend, but to to promote that process, you have to be seen in the same way that celebrities are seen.

You have to be around other celebrities, you have to be you it's all about the perception is it's a very, very difficult thing to explain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4Y0mG6wRc8&feature=youtu.be

Brian shares some thoughts on the entrepreneurial journey.

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

In business, you're never alone.

Hi I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

Well, these videos tell you nothing, they tell you that you are really never alone. And this thought kind of came to me, when I came across a quote, The quote is by Jay veal, he's a speaker and author. And he said, I learned that anything I feel or experience as I take this journey has been felt or experienced by my predecessors.

Maybe not everything by everyone, but each thing by someone. And I think that's something we it's, it's really difficult to keep your mind in that and to realize that everyone's been through something that you're going through. And in business, it, it can really feel lonely, because you have so many people around you that don't even know the first thing about business.

And so it's really important to have some people on your team that can help you out with that, and can be there can at least hear where you're coming from. Even if they don't have an answer, they may have some clues as to where you can go next. But it's important to realize it's, it's it's all been figured out before.

So someone else has been in some very similar situation. Yeah, we've got new technologies, we've got the internet, we've got this, we've got that we got social media, and maybe someone 100 years ago didn't have to deal with all these things.

But they're not that drastically different humans haven't changed that much. And the fact that humans haven't changed that much. It doesn't take much a little bit of twisting here and there to be able to work things out between your and you, you and your business. Really doesn't take that much, you just have to have the right perspective.

Be able to be separate enough from your emotions, that you can see things the way they really are, and have some people on your team that can help keep your frame of mind in the right place. I always offer my services. I'm a business strategist. This is what I do for a living.

If you'd like to find out more about me and my thoughts on some of these ideas, and some bigger strategies that you can use in your business. Go check out my book, 9 Ways to Amazon-Proof Your Business. You could buy it anywhere books are sold, or you can get a free copy at AmazonProofBook.com

AmazonProofBook.com get your very own free digital copy, or like I said physical copies at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com everywhere that books are sold.

So we'll be back tomorrow with another tip, either a principle a strategy or tactic that can help you explode your business. In the meantime, get out there and let the magic happen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMOiARyty8A&feature=youtu.be

What does two dogs, snow and an almost 2-year old have to do with your business?

Well hit the play button and findout!

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

Don't feed them snowballs.

Hi I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

The whole title of today's episode is based off a situation that I had earlier today with my family. So if you follow along with these episodic adventures, you'll realize that on Saturdays, I usually have a full workday and Sundays, I spend all day with the family just regardless, we just for the most part, all business usually takes the backseat.

Well, this Saturday, we did a little switcheroo because Kate's friends, were having a bunch of people over at their house, which is quite quite a ways away from here. And they were going to have a big snow day where the kids can go play in the snow. So I've got three kids. And we all went out today and I traded. Today set being Saturday, for typical Sunday, tomorrow, I'm going to be doing more work than I do on on most Sundays. So fast forward, we're out there playing in the snow.

Some folks have their dogs along with them. And we're eating or eating lunch, and just kind of little picnic type thing. And my youngest son who's just just he's almost two years old. And he's he's sitting there eating, he doesn't quite. He gets things, but he doesn't know how to communicate perfectly, doesn't really speak all that well.

And so he, it's funny, try to communicate things to him and seeing how his mind works and so forth and he was eating eating some food. And then the dogs came up, and they're trying to find the food that he had already finished.

And they're kind of their kind of sniffing around his hands and everything else. He had some snow in his hand. But it was in the same hand that he also had some food, he had some food leftover in it, and it was probably sitting there on his glove, and the dog comes up, he's licking his hand and everything you could see what he ended up thinking is the dog wanted the snow.

So from that point on, he kept trying to feed snow to the dogs, the dogs would come around and pick up a whole snowball and try to feed it to the dog.

So what's this have to do with you? What's this have to do with business?

I thought it was hilarious, because so many I mean, it was instant. As soon as he was doing it, I saw the mentality behind it. I'm like, Boy, that's familiar. Because as business owners, what we tend to do is we tend to think we know what the customer wants. And we start, we start developing our entire world around one reaction, or a just a handful of reactions to something that we did.

We think that it's about one thing, when really it's about something else and so we try to feed snowballs to people, when the dogs didn't have any interest in the snow whatsoever.

They're surrounded by snow, they can eat the snow anytime they want, why would they need it, this little kids and they wanted the food that was in his hand. They don't want the frozen water.

A lot of times we're out there presenting frozen water to people who have no interest whatsoever in what we're providing them. But we think because we saw some reaction at some point, maybe not even from us, but from somebody else, we think that their desires for this.

So here's what it all comes down to what you have to do is k...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biBAnyujqGw&feature=youtu.be

Thoughts on Pat Williams and Jim Denney's book, How To Be Like Rich DeVos.

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

The importance of biographies to your business.

Hi, I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

I mentioned months and months and months ago that I was in the middle of a book that I was really enjoying. And I wasn't going to reveal what it was until I was completely finished to kind of get myself to finish the book because it takes me forever to finish books.

It was the case in this one also, although it didn't take as long as many of the other books that I still have unfinished. But this is one by Richard DeVos how to beat well it's not by wish to boss This is by Pat Williams, also with Jim Denney.

This is an old worn out copy that I got somewhere how to be like rich box, how to be like rich divorce, co founder of Amway and owner of Orlando Magic. And then another sub headline says, succeeding with integrity and business in life.

Good Book, ironically not exactly a biography, but has a whole lot of biographical elements. So the whole book is about one guy. But it's not necessarily taking his life from the beginning to end and going through the story of his life like a lot of biographies, like most biographies do.

This is actually one where this Pat Williams was working for the Orlando Magic. And that's how he got to know Rich DeVos and was basically started out talking about how he met him, and how he ended up into finding out more and more and more about him through time.

This whole book is made up of a million different interviews with different people, him basically asking them what they liked about him, how they met him, what were unique situations that they found themselves in with him. And he then breaks it down. This is one of the things that Pat Williams has done in a number of books, he has a lot he has a whole series of how to be like books.

So he has a one that's how to be like Walt Disney and so forth. He breaks it down into basically steps of how you can be like rich Voss in terms of in terms of the virtues that the guy has. So this was a guy. him along with Jay Van Andel, were the ones that started Amway, which is a major, major company, you can go and look up all the all the background on that company, a long, long history.

I think they started in what was a 1958 or 59, something like that. And he just passed away a couple years back. Very interesting person. very intrigued. What's really funny is toward the end of the book, Pat Williams says that what's amazing is all the people we talked to all the interviews, he couldn't get anyone to say anything negative about him.

He couldn't get anyone to give a bad story about this guy, that everyone always had good stuff. And even if people had a situation that was awkward or weird around them, it always turned around to his benefit.

In the long run, he always he always came out looking better than they originally thought in the beginning. And it's I mean, for one thing, if if it is true, it's great, great that the guy had such a wonderful life. If any part of it isn't true, the guy had amazing PR, because he got everyone around him to think he was a he was a wonderful guy one way or the other.

And just looking at everything, it's got some points on the back here, you know, everything from risk tanking, to mentoring to putting people first salesmans...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbkqzwVQl7s&feature=youtu.be

Why having someone challenge your thoughts and ideas can be a good thing for end results in business and life.

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

You need a challenger.

Hi, I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

And all the information you need to be able to take your business from where it is right now to where you want it to be a year from now, all of it is already in your head, what you need is someone to challenge you out.

I don't mean somebody to, you know, you know, call your bluff or to or to, you know, get in your face or be rude about it. No, you just need a very subtle, straightforward challenge. And the challenge is a series of questions.

Really, you need someone to sit down and interview you, you need someone to help you to show you that you have all the answers, you really do have all the answers. But you need somebody to sit down and do that for you.

How do I know because every person I end up working with in the long run has that same issue where they do not have somebody to challenge them. And the rest of the people who I end up not working with usually, excuse me, they needed to.

But they're not getting it yet, because they're not ready for it yet. But when you're ready, you're going to need a challenger, you're going to need to have somebody who knows the right questions to ask to pull the info out of your head, get it down on paper, put it into a plan and have something that's actually executable.

Not just this vague concept that you have, that you have a difficult time explaining to people possibly but a concrete step by step plan to take you from point A where you're at to point be where you want to be in the period of time that you're looking to get there.

Most people it's, you know, within the next quarter within the next six months within within the next year. That's what people are looking at. So what why am I bringing this up? I'm bringing this up because it I was reminded of this as I was talking with a business partner of mine.

And she had set up a new meeting with some people where we're going to be sitting down. And we're going to be going through the Worthington method with this group of people. And this is this coming up on Tuesday. And she said, you know, do you have any nervousness about this or anything else that I was thinking about? I really don't. Because I'm not the one that's being put on the hot seat.

I'm the one asking the questions, not the one answering the questions. If I had to be the one answering the questions, I might have a little bit of little butterflies or whatever else, you know, I may be wondering what are the questions is going to be in everything. Now, if you happen to be within that, with that group of people I'm meeting with on Tuesday, don't worry about it. It'll be easy. I'm nice about it. But that is what it's all about.

It's all about sitting down and putting yourself on the hot seat just a little bit just enough that you're challenged just a little bit more in a way that you aren't usually challenged. If you are challenged that way, then you already know what I'm talking about. And you're getting enough of it. And you don't need a person to come in, like myself, like the group of people that I work with, at Brian j pombo.com. And my other partners,

you don't need us to come in and help you do that you already get it. What I'm talking to is the 99.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHiv1m7-SoE&feature=youtu.be

When you can stretch Mary Poppins into a business movie, you know you've got problems.

By hey, checkout what Brian has to say and perhaps you'll see this classic in a different light.

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

Business movie, Mary Poppins.

Hi I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

I'm going to give you a quick review of an older movie, okay, 1960s. And this is Mary Poppins, the original Walt Disney version.

I'm not talking about the new one that came out a few years back. This is the original one with Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke. And I want to go into this because it is, believe it or not a business movie. And it's a personal business movie.

If you haven't seen in a long time, or you haven't seen it at all don't let the name fool you. This isn't just some, some silly little kid's movie it is but it isn't. There's extra elements to it, that are very subtle, but indistinguishable.

When you when you watch it as an adult, especially if you've had kids, if you've been a parent, it can make a huge impact. I'll get into that in a second.

But first, I wanted to remind you about the book that I have called, 9 Ways to Amazon-Proof Your Business. Be sure and get your own free copy over at night over at AmazonProofBook.com.

AmazonProofBook.com that's where you can get a free one.

Now if you want to pay for it, you go get go get a hardcopy over at Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com or any of the places that books are sold online, you could find it, 9 Ways to Amazon-Proof Your Business go check it out.

Now, let's get into Mary Poppins.

Why is Mary Poppins a business movie?

Well, it's not as much a story about Mary Poppins, if you've ever seen the movie Saving Mr. Banks. That's a lot of what that movie is about the behind the scenes of it. And it a lot of it is fantasy in that movie also.

But that movie, points to the fact that this was a story about the father more than anything else. Who's the Father, the father's Mr. Banks, he is the busy the consummate businessman. He is the guy that's focused on the bottom line.

He's focused on the numbers and has very little time for his family. Now, this brings up a point that I I like to talk about called virtuous diversions.

One of the major themes of the movie is, you've you've probably heard the tune or heard the expression, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, you know, or let's go fly a kite.

You all these different little songs in the movie, it's all about having virtuous diversions, away from business with your family if you have a family, but even if you don't have a family, if you have something to do that isn't bad for you. That is it habit forming or something like that, where it it's it's a diversion that pulls you away from reality, but more of a thing that lightens the mood that allows you to step away from business, it can improve your business, everything improves.

If you allow yourself the chance to step away once in a while, you've got to get outside of that world. And then step back into it, you can't be in a 24 seven, you will burn out something will happen where it just will not end well.

It doesn't matter what personnel, some personalities handle it a little better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HijyqrGF5z8&feature=youtu.be

Expectations and emotions can be a setup for letdowns.

Hear Brian's advice on proper expectations to live a better life.

Amazon-Proof Your Business https://brianjpombo.com/amazonbook/

Transcription

False expectations in business.

Hi I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

We do this on a nightly basis where we discuss business ideas. And today we're going to be talking about false expectations and how they can really get you into trouble.

In fact, one of the top issues that I see over and over and over again, with human beings in general, but especially with business owners, is, so much of what we get caught up in is false expectations. And I'll give you a quote that kind of wraps a lot of this up in a second.

But first, I want to remind you about my book, 9 Ways to Amazon-Proof Your Business. If you're looking to overcome the competition, go get yourself a free copy of my book, you can get it at AmazonProofBook.com. That's AmazonProofBook.com. Free Copy, you can also buy a copy everywhere that books are sold.

So let's talk about false expectations. There was a quote I heard years ago. And it said that let me see how's it go? I

t's a people of integrity expect to be believed, but they let time prove them. Right.

And I, I've always thought that quote has always come back and revisited me through the years. And the interesting thing about expectations, because I think a lot of times, we set ourselves up for the exact wrong expectation that quotes a great example, even though the quote means something, it takes us in a different direction.

I won't spend too much time going in that direction tonight. But that the idea is that you expect to be believed you let time prove you, right, if you know what you're talking about.

Eventually, you get to a point in life, where you quit expecting to believe be believed. Honestly, I think the quote really should be people of integrity, don't expect to be believed, but they do. Let time prove themselves, right?

That really is what it comes down to is I don't expect to be believed by anybody. I'm too old for that. I know that most of the time, especially when I'm right. People are not going to believe me, and even afterwards will have a tough time convincing themselves that I said the right thing to begin with, even after time has proven me right.

I don't ever expect that people are going to go along with what I'm saying. Even though sometimes it's it's unbelievable the type of things that people get caught up in, and they believe themselves.

But that's, like I said, that's more of another issue. But the expectation is important. Don't expect to be believed. That's the worst thing you could possibly do.

Here's other expectations, but it's it's less about the expectation itself, and more about the emotions that we put into it. When you get emotionally involved in an expectation. So you expect somebody is going to win the presidency. Okay, that's fine, you can expect that.

But if you get emotionally involved to where your self worth is behind that expectation, you're messing yourself up one way or the other. Either either you feel like you have been personally justified by having somebody win, or you feel like you have your insights have been ripped out when somebody loses.