Bro-ing Pains

Is the kink community part of the non-heteronormative world, or its own lane entirely? 

This week, we unpack what counts as “sexual deviance,” why ethical non-monogamy isn’t just a free-for-all, and how the Six Pillars of Polysecurity could actually save any relationship.

Featuring Jessica Fern’s Polysecure, the Gottmans’ Sound Relationship House Theory, and one big question: are you really committed to your partner, or just staying faithful out of security?

What do healthy friendships look like as an adult? In this episode, we dive into the world of friendship: why it gets harder to make new friends as we age, what healthy connection actually looks like, and how genuine curiosity can transform the way friends show up for each other.

We also unpack the male loneliness epidemic, and how societal expectations make it harder for men to build & sustain community.

Backed by insights from The Top Five Regrets of the Dying and The Good Life (the world’s longest study on happiness), we explore how friendship isn’t just nice to have, it’s essential for a long, happy, healthy life.

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying: https://bronnieware.com/regrets-of-the-dying/

The Good Life: https://the-good-life-book.com/

This episode is part droppin’ gems, part toolkit, and all about communication. 

We dive into the history of attachment styles and how our earliest bonds with our primary caregivers shape the way we connect with romantic partners today. 

We wrestle with the age-old debate: should you go to bed angry or stay up to hash it out? Plus, we explore Imago couples therapy, the hot take that men are more “efficient” communicators than women, and whether ghosting is avoidance or straight-up emotional immaturity.

Imago Couples Therapy: https://imagoworks.com/the-imago-dialogue/steps/

Every couple has disagreements, but the real issue isn't money, chores, or snooping. Underneath it all is one core question: do we share the same values?

In this episode, we break down the most common relationship struggles. From household roles and money dynamics to privacy vs. trust, they all tie back to values. Using tools like the Gottmans’ “Love Maps,” we explore how couples can stay curious about each other, navigate differences, and figure out what’s a solvable conflict vs. what’s a non-negotiable.

If you’ve ever wondered, “is this a deal-breaker, or just something we can work through?”…this episode is for you.

Infidelity isn’t just about broken vows, it’s about culture, psychology, and the messy ways we define love and commitment.

In this episode, we dive deep into the uncomfortable but necessary conversation about cheating. From Carlos’ childhood where infidelity was normalized, to the psychology of why men cheat, we’re pulling back the curtain on one of the most taboo relationship topics out there.

We explore:

• Is emotional cheating worse than physical cheating?
• How wealth, power, and machismo shape infidelity
• The hidden psychology of unmet needs and betrayal
• Insights from The State of Affairs by Esther Perel and Eight Dates by John Gottman
• The big question: is sex a “need”… or just a desire?

If you’ve ever questioned what counts as cheating, why it happens, or whether relationships can truly recover, this episode will challenge what you thought you knew about love and loyalty.

Watch Esther Perel’s full TED Talk on infidelity here: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved

Is divorce really the worst-case scenario—or is staying in the wrong relationship worse? 

In this episode, we explore the cultural, religious, and emotional weight of divorce. From “starter marriages” to the myth of staying together for the kids, we unpack why the shame surrounding divorce often does more harm than good. 

We also talk about the viral Ariana Grande & Cynthia Erivo “holding space” moment, the effects of calling it quits and why we need to stop pretending it's not a big deal.

For those curious about how childhood experiences shape our beliefs about relationships, we introduce the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences quiz) — a simple but powerful tool to better understand the long-term effects of trauma, including how we approach love, conflict, and letting go. 

Take the ACE quiz here: https://americanspcc.org/take-the-aces-quiz/

In episode 4, we dive into the world of modern intimacy — from awkward “birds and bees” talks to what school didn’t teach us.

We break down how pop culture and gendered expectations shape our ideas of desirability, with help from the documentary Miss Representation and Dr. Emily Nagoski's book Come Together.

Plus: navigating body counts, emotional intimacy, and queer perspectives on hookup culture. 

Whether you're figuring out your love language or wondering why men get praised for doing the bare minimum, this one's for you! 

In Part 1 of our 10-episode season on relationships, we explore how film, TV, and pop culture have shaped what men believe about masculinity and relationships.

From the frat-boy energy of American Pie and hyper-masculine bravado of Top Gun, to the emotional vulnerability in Moonlight and Love Island, we unpack how media continues to influence how men show up in relationships, often without even realizing it.

We also discuss the groundbreaking documentary Tough Guise by Jackson Katz, which explores the connection between media portrayals of men, toxic masculinity, and real-world violence.

Watch Tough Guise for free using a library or university login: (https://www.kanopy.com/en/product/tough-guise-0)

Before we dive into our relationship series in episode 3, we had to start with the most important one: the relationship you have with yourself.

This episode, we cold-plunge headfirst into the world of health & wellness. We break down our own wellness routines, and put the internet's favorite trends to the test to decide: Wellness or Whack?

Whether you're deep in your healing era or just want your partner to stop telling you to "journal about it", this one's for you.

Many of us learned the same unspoken rules growing up: Don’t show weakness. Don’t show emotion. Don’t let anyone see you break.

In our first episode, we share the personal experiences that led us to therapy, and how masculinity, culture, and early life experiences shaped the way we relate to vulnerability and emotional survival.

One of us is a therapist. The other is still learning how to open up. Together, we explore why so many men avoid therapy, how emotional suppression begins, and what happens when you finally confront yourself.

If you’ve ever struggled to open up or wondered whether therapy could help you understand yourself, this conversation is for you.

Thinking about therapy but don’t know where to start? Find licensed therapists in your area using Psychology Today’s directory. You can filter by location, insurance, and specialty: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Follow Bro-ing Pains for honest conversations about masculinity, emotional growth, and the psychology shaping modern men.