April 21, 2021

BTI #224: Grow Your Network to Grow Your Net Worth with Karen Stanley

52 minutes

Something I bring up a lot on this show is the importance of having a strong foundation that you are building your business upon. In past episodes, I shared about my own journey in how I chose to focus on my physical health, my mental wellbeing, and to foster successful relationships. When I chose to do these three things, my business actually took off. In today's episode, we are talking about why we need to cultivate the best relationships; not only with others, but also with ourselves. And how these relationships can improve our business.

WHO IS KAREN STANLEY?

Karen Stanley is the best-selling author of Becoming Mrs. Stanley, an agency owner, and an entrepreneur based in Arizona. At the beginning of her journey, she struggled with self-worth and self-confidence until she decided to start applying her knowledge of relationships in business to her personal life. Karen believes relationships truly are the key to being successful.

"You can't be successful on an island by yourself, you need people."

But she also believes that the best way to have strong and healthy relationships with others, is to have a strong and healthy relationship with yourself. Her book came out of her personal experiences of attracting confident and strong relationships in her life, including her husband of 6 years.

WHY DO WE STRUGGLE WITH SELF-WORTH?

Karen learned that we develop our core beliefs during childhood. There are events that happen to us before the age of 7 that lead us to create a story around the event, which then leads us to create a core belief. EX: Abused as a child -> "I'm not worthy."

"We have to identify the beliefs and then get clear on what the facts are."

The believes that we have that aren't true, are limiting us. It's important to build new and empowering beliefs.

BEING DILIGENT ABOUT YOUR INPUT

Karen is a big believer of being very particular of the things we put into our brains. The things we watch, look at, listen to. Everything we look at and listen to matters. It's also important to be diligent about who we follow and look up to. If someone or something is making you feel less than your best, get rid of it! We want to follow people who inspire us and who have been successful, because this inspires us to do the same. We don't want to follow people who are faking it or haven't actually achieved success. It's okay to take that person off your feed!

HOW TO INCREASE SELF-CONFIDENCE

When Karen realized the missing piece in her life, she made time for things that in turn, increased her self-confidence and changed her life.

Karen made time to work on her mindset.
Karen made time for fitness.
Karen made time for reading.

"It's an inside job. You're the only one who can give yourself self-confidence."

In turn, Karen said she started to feel great, and this is truly when her business started to grow. She pinned down what was missing and decided what was important. Taking time for herself was a missing piece that led to many other things falling into place. The secret sauce is the internal work. It doesn't happen overnight, but it's an intentional work that pays off.

FOCUS ON THE WINS

Highly driven individuals are goal oriented and always making sure they get things done. Oftentimes, we may forget to take a step back and acknowledge all the things we did accomplish. One of Karen's best strategies for herself is to focus on her wins in the morning.

EX: Did I have a great conversation with ___? Did I have a great meeting with that client?"

When you start to see the list of wins, we see what we have a new appreciation for the progress you've made.

"There's actually more dopamine released when you make progress towards the goal, than when we actually achieve it."

Karen has found that really taking time to quiet your mind and be grateful for the things you do have now, brings a joy and fulfillment that is so important to our lives. Entrepreneurs often look towards the future and the goals we want to accomplish, which is great and keeps us going, but being thankful for the right now, magnifies all the great things that come.

Another simple task that Karen emphasizes is actually writing things down. Karen writes down a positive quote and her goals daily in the morning. She talks about how writing helps to slow down our brain and sets us up for success.

THE SCIENCE OF HABITS

Have you heard, "It takes 21 days to create a habit?" Karen shares how that's not true. It's a minimum of 66 days all the way up to a year. Knowing this, you can commit to doing something you know will make you successful for 90 days. (ex: a great morning routine, working out.)

If you can create habits you don't have to think about, it saves time and energy and leads to your success. The energy you no longer spend on being intentional about creating the habit, can be used to build your business or build relationships.

THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING A WHY

Living every day towards purpose and intention is what helps us reach our goals. When we know exactly why we are doing something, it makes it easier to do. For Karen, she works out because she wants to be active with her grandkids. Find your why and it will lead you to choosing to do the things that make you successful. This then leads to building that self-confidence and to knowing that you are doing what's best for your business and your clients.

"When you start to believe in the work you're doing, it makes it a lot easier to put it in front of other people."