As we close out a year many of us are ready to leave behind, this episode reflects on what we might want to carry forward—and what we can gently let go of. I explore the Buddhist teaching of the brahmavihāras, or Four Immeasurables, as a way of giving our hearts a place to live that is honest, resilient, and humane.

The Four Immeasurables—loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity—are called “immeasurable” because they are not limited resources. They don’t require perfection or self-improvement. They begin with noticing what is actually happening.

In this episode, we explore:

• Loving-kindness
  • Begins with softening toward ourselves, not being “nice” or agreeable
  • Extends outward to loved ones, strangers, and even enemies without requiring forgiveness or approval
  • Far enemy: hatred
  • Near enemy: conditional or performative kindness
• Compassion
  • Feeling another’s pain as our own, grounded in shared humanity
  • Distinct from sympathy or pity
  • Far enemy: cruelty
  • Near enemy: pity
• Sympathetic joy
  • Feeling another person’s happiness as our own
  • A remedy for isolation and scarcity thinking
  • Far enemy: envy
  • Near enemy: shallow or distracting pleasure
• Equanimity
  • Staying present with joy and sorrow without grasping or pushing away
  • Fully engaged, not numb or indifferent
  • Far enemy: grasping
  • Near enemy: indifference or “good vibes only” detachment

Throughout the episode, I emphasize that the practice is not about trying to embody these qualities, but about noticing our real relationship to them. That noticing itself is the practice.

Music Segment
We close with a podcast after party featuring “Jump Around” by House of Pain, along with a story from my time working at Tommy Boy Records in the early ’90s and a brief exploration of the mysterious opening sample. A link to The Best Sample in History video is included here.

Watch this episode on video
If you’d like to watch the podcast, the video version is here.

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Produced by Citizens of Sound

Music by: Derek O'Brien

©Open Heart Project