Caliber 9 From Outer Space

We said James Bond would return... and he did! We continue our series checking out the lesser loved entries from the 007 franchise. This week, it's time to discuss George Lazenby's sole outing as the famous spy, On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), directed by Peter Hunt, and follow it up with one of the most maligned films in the series, Octopussy (1983), directed by John Glen. We discuss the many curious choices that were made surrounding the first non-Connery Bond film (including Lazenby's choice to throw it all away) and make a case for the very specific energy that Roger Moore brings to the role in what is undeniably a very silly Bond film.

Stick around for our Bond Tropewatch segment, where we rate each of these films against the checklist of standard Bond tropes to see which fares best!

Fair warning: we go into the plots of both films in some detail, including the endings, but we feel like James Bond is somewhat unspoilable in general, so we won't be announcing a Spoiler Territory section for either of these films.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

"On Her Majesty's Secret Service" by The Propellerheads

Two very different genre exercises today: one an essential masterpiece of its idiom, the other a true exploitation cash-in of a much more polished and successful film. Rich Fox is with us to discuss Tenebrae (1982), directed by Dario Argento and Tentacles (1977), directed by Ovidio G. Assonitis. From the sublime to the ridiculous, perhaps, but both films are fascinating in their own way.

Tentacles is hard to spoil (especially if you've seen Jaws before), so no Spoiler Territory for that one. We do, however, call out Spoiler Territory for Tenebrae so if you want to skip ahead from that point, you can rejoin the conversation at the 1:52:31 mark to avoid spoilers.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

"Flashing" by Claudio Simonetti, Fabio Pignatelli and Massimo Morante

Wings Hauser brings out the lunatic in us, so this week we have a suitably chaotic episode to cover a Wings double feature where the sleaze and violence are dialled right up - without skimping on the quality of film-making. Heather Drain and Ted Bennett join us this week to review Vice Squad (1982), directed by Gary Sherman and The Wind (1986), directed by Nico Mastorakis. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll almost certainly make that wincing face... and that's just from listening to our discussion.

Neither film is particularly spoilable, so we won't be announcing a Spoiler Territory section for either of them.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

"Jeanny" by Falco

Sakana drops in this week to discuss a couple of early films directed by American exploitation legend, Jack Hill. First up: Pit Stop (1969), a film marketed as a demolition derby thrill ride which nevertheless contains surprising character depth and drama. Then we follow it up with cult favourite, Spider Baby (1967) which, despite its weirdo horror comedy approach, has some emotional depth of its own.

We will be announcing a Spoiler Territory section for both films, so if you haven't seen them before you listen, you can nevertheless avoid spoilers for Pit Stop by skipping ahead to the 1:27:17 mark, and for Spider Baby by skipping ahead to 2:18:58.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

"Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me" by The Smiths

Why do we love movies set on trains so much? Is it morally OK to love sleazy exploitation films? Both of these essential philosophical conundrums come together in a clash of tearing metal and ripping undergarments in this week's double feature. Sammy from the GGTMC joins us to discuss Night Train Murders (1975), directed by Aldo Lado and Terror Express (1980), directed by Ferdinando Baldi.

It's not really possible to spoil Terror Express but we do call out Spoiler Territory for Night Train Murders. If you want to skip ahead from that point, you can rejoin the conversation at the 1:53:01 mark to avoid spoilers.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

"Nighttrain" by Public Enemy

This week, we're all about seminal indie horror movies - that grindhouse crackle and pop - ah, there's nothing like it. Justin Kerswell is in the house to check out a couple of lo-fi horror gems. We start off with the recently rediscovered indie experimental mind-melter Effects (1979), directed by Dusty Nelson, a film which features a whole bunch of George A. Romero's Pittsburgh indie-horror collective. It's a film that makes you think, and so we follow it up with a film for which thinking is entirely optional: proto-shocker I Drink Your Blood (1971), directed by David Durston.

We don't think you can really spoil I Drink Your Blood, which is just about being as gory and exploitative as it can, but we will call out Spoiler Territory for Effects. If you want to skip ahead from that point, you can rejoin the conversation at the 1:16:38 mark to avoid spoilers.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

"Destroyed by Hippie Powers" by Car Seat Headrest

When Mr Tech is in town, it's time to dust off some computer game adaptations. Unfortunately, we are fast running out of game adaptations that we're all collectively willing to watch, so this week we're instead exploring a couple of films in which characters are transported into a game. We start off with the film that pioneered this sort of cinema concept, Tron (1982), directed by Steve Lisberger, and follow that up with Mamoru Oshii's non-anime, Eastern European crossover, Avalon (2001).

We don't call out a Spoiler Territory for Tron because it just didn't seem necessary but we do include one for Avalon. If you want to skip ahead from that point, you can rejoin the conversation at the 2:38:12 mark to avoid spoilers.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

"Veridis Quo" by Daft Punk

Nothing compares to the horror of a lycanthropic female family member. The 80's knew that and so do this week's guests, Ted Bennett and Heather Drain, who are both back to talk about some more of that decade's pop film culture detritus. Under-appreciated gems or trash best forgotten? We've never been more polarised!

First up, rather odd teen comedy, My Mom's a Werewolf (1989), directed by Michael Fischa and then, is it a sequel? Is it even a werewolf movie? Philippe Mora's Howling II... Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985) provokes some passionate reactions, both positive and negative.

Let's just say, plot is not really the reason to watch either of these films, so we won't be announcing a Spoiler Territory section for either of them.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

"Dracula" by Snips

It's a high speed episode this week, whether that's horses and stagecoaches sprinting across Apache territory or Fiats and vans driving dangerously around the narrow streets of Milan. Actor and film maker Greg Furman joins us to discuss a couple of classics from two different worlds of cinema. We start off with the seminal Hollywood western blockbuster, Stagecoach (1939), directed by John Ford and follow that up with Fernando Di Leo's The Italian Connection (1972) - during which we pay tribute to German-Italian legend, Mario Adorf, who we lost in April this year.

The statute of limitations on spoilers has probably expired for Stagecoach, but we do call out Spoiler Territory for The Italian Connection. If you want to skip ahead from that point, you can rejoin the conversation at the 2:32:43 mark to avoid spoilers.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

"The John Wayne" by Little Green Cars

Trains of DOOM! Horror artist extraordinaire, Graham Humphreys, is in the house to talk about a couple of railbound cult horror classics. First up: Eugenio Martin's classic Hammer-adjacent gem, Horror Express (1972) - an absolute delight of the sci-fi-horror subgenre. Our B movie is famed act of cinematic weirdness, Night Train to Terror (1985), ostensibly directed by Jay Schlossberg-Cohen but incorporating film material from a whole bunch of film-makers.

We don't think it's really possible to spoil something as fundamentally incoherent as Night Train to Terror, so no Spoiler Territory for that one. We do, however, call out Spoiler Territory for Horror Express. If you want to skip ahead from that point, you can rejoin the conversation at the 1:07:35 mark to avoid spoilers.

Want to get in touch? You can reach us on [email protected]

Theme music: "The Cold Light of Day" by HKM. Check out HKM on #SoundCloud or Bandcamp

Chris Collier's new documentary about the work of Graham Humphreys, Captured Souls, can be ordered on blu-ray from 24footsquare.com

"This Train Will be Taking No Passengers" by Augie March