Can We Steal You for a Second?

We can confidently say that this was the most emotionally painful finale we’ve seen. It’s barely a silver lining because she didn’t seem to have much agency in the matter, but Jenn put it all out there, and we commend her for it. Devin, if we ever catch you, it’s on SIGHT. 

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Pardon our tardiness…the entire podcast team was off celebrating the wedding of Camille and John! We had to start with a recap, plus some funny tea. Then, we largely discuss our favorite episode of the year: Fantasy Suites. Jenn is down BAD for Marcus, who will probably never feel the same (sad :( ), Devin has secured some new haters with this selfish behavior, and Jonathan is just chilling like the unproblematic F2 he will probably be.

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After a ROUGH 1:1 showing from Sam last week, Grant and Jonathan helped revive our faith in this cast having…a drop or two of juice. But each week, Jenn shows more and more her inability to put both men in their place…and Cary, the infamous Bachelor stylist. She is too pretty and serves too much body to be wearing these bedazzled tablecloths! 

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It’s a bad week to be a Sam! Just what the world needed: an emboldened, hopped-up-on-adrenaline, life-coach wannabe ass Sam M. While Sam N may be misguided and irritating, they’ll still never make us like you, Thomas. Plus, Jenn’s less toxic ex returns on a direct flight from ghosting a wedding in Cartegna to Auckland. Red flags everywhere! 

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Girl…Jenn…listen to the Australian Bachelorettes who came before you…listen to the context…do not let the tall man who knows he’s hot (some are saying) sway you!!! Acknowledge what came before you!!! 

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Jenn and her mid-tier guys are in Melbourne in this unprecedented early trip away from LA. What isn’t unprecedented is her gravitation towards some obvious front-runners…as it tends to be with female leads. Also typical…of men…is that they send some red flags. Best of luck, xoxo and at least enjoy the fantasy suite! 

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We are back and ready to listen to our intuition to make wild assumptions! This isn’t our first rodeo: the men on The Bachelorette consistently disappoint us, and this is shaping up to be no different. But at least there will be some characters and petty drama along the way, too! Wishing for a Jenn learns how to turn a man down redemption arc, expecting a Jenn on one knee proposing outcome. 

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We are SOOOO back! Missing the mic as we take well over an hour to get to the actual meat of the episode: a brief swipe left/right on Jenn’s cast (based on wedding date potential). Otherwise, we discuss weddings, the future of our democracy, Summer House, the rumors about Nick Viall’s marriage, and much more. We’ve missed you all so much, and the premiere is soon upon us! 

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Joey boy, you’ve done it. Perfect lead, perfect season! Dark-horse winner, self-control, maintained popularity, and a tears-worth proposal. Enjoy a nuanced take on an untraditional final day; we loved the powerful intuition but hated the risk of involving Kelsey. Just let them get engaged! Our next Bachelorette is a happy surprise, just like the best ones. See you this summer, Jenn! 

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Every season, we have hope for the black sheep to rise, and every season, we are met with the same outcome: an indifferent blonde F1. Always just as we get 100% on board with the runner-up. Tune in for an in-depth analysis of Rachel’s mishandling of her injury, Kelsey’s intuition, and Daisy’s self-absorption. 

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