Car Ride Conversations For Sports Families

The Most Important Play Is the Next Play: Helping Young Athletes Bounce Back | Richie Contartesi

Host Valerie Alston welcomes former college football player Richie Contartesi to discuss helping young athletes respond to mistakes, setbacks, and disappointment with a “next play” mindset. Richie shares his journey from being an undersized, overlooked high school athlete to earning an FCS scholarship, transferring to Ole Miss, walking on, and eventually earning a full-ride scholarship, emphasizing the importance of marketing yourself to coaches. He explains how a coach taught him that the most important play is always the next one, and how he and his parents reinforced it with three action questions: what will you do, how will you do it, and when will you do it by. Valerie closes with discussion rules, four reflection questions for parents and athletes, and a free mental skills assessment offer.

00:00 Mistakes And Setbacks

00:20 Meet Richie And The Lesson

01:48 Recruiting Struggles And Breakthrough

03:56 Next Play Mindset

07:11 Parents As Support System

09:19 Where To Find Richie

09:36 Host Wrap Up Key Takeaways

10:28 Car Ride Questions Rules

11:06 Guided Questions For Families

13:37 Final Takeaway And Next Episode

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

Does your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition?

Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way.

With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps.

There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle.

Assess. Discover. Build a game plan.

👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected]

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Teaching Young Athletes to Speak Up: Notice, Own It, Act

After Arizona State hockey player Matthew Mayich collapsed during an outdoor workout and remained hospitalized with severe injuries, teammates challenged parts of the university’s account and the head coach was placed on paid administrative leave, prompting a broader discussion about why athletes may fear speaking up. Valerie Alston explains a problem-independent framework for intervention: noticing when something physical, behavioral, or environmental seems off (without diagnosing), owning responsibility despite barriers like the bystander effect, expert bias, or fear of repercussions, and acting with a simple menu of options—directly acknowledge, distract/interrupt, get help, and keep telling if the first adult doesn’t respond. She emphasizes creating psychologically safe environments, helping athletes distinguish hard from harmful, building a “trusted adult bench,” and provides family discussion questions to practice these skills.

00:00 ASU Heatstroke Fallout

00:51 Why Athletes Stay Silent

01:43 Three Steps to Speak Up

04:00 Notice the Warning Signs

06:17 Own the Responsibility

09:32 Act With Simple Options

11:39 Keep Telling Until Help

13:33 Adults Create Safe Space

16:39 Build a Trusted Bench

18:10 Family Discussion Questions

21:31 Final Takeaways and Next Steps

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

Does your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition?

Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way.

With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps.

There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle.

Assess. Discover. Build a game plan.

👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected]

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Who Are You Besides an Athlete? Redefining “Elite” When Youth Sports Ends

Valerie Alston closes a six-week series on the pressure to be elite by reminding families that every athlete eventually plays their last game and that true success includes who athletes become through sport, not only performance outcomes like rankings, scholarships, and trophies. She discusses the risks of tying self-worth solely to athletic identity and encourages athletes to broaden their identity through friends, hobbies, school, and non-sport interests so setbacks like being benched, cut, injured, or not recruited don’t create an identity crisis. Alston reframes “elite” as lasting life skills, resilience, discipline, communication, handling feedback, losing well, leading and following and offers reflection prompts and family conversation questions about what sports has already given, what to carry forward, and what makes sport worthwhile without external rewards. She also invites listeners to subscribe, share, and take a free mental skills assessment at confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment.

00:00 The Last Game

01:32 Why Sports Matter

02:16 Athlete Identity Trap

05:01 Redefining Elite

06:21 Skills That Travel

07:09 Build Life Beyond Sport

10:11 Future Self Reflection

11:23 Parents Big Picture

12:54 Fill In The Blanks

15:15 Share And Subscribe

15:39 Conversation Ground Rules

16:03 Four Family Questions

18:38 Final Perspective Reset

20:04 Free Assessment Offer

20:43 Closing Thanks

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

Does your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition?

Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way.

With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps.

There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle.

Assess. Discover. Build a game plan.

👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected]

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Mental Toughness in Youth Sports: When to Push Through vs When to Recover (Green/Yellow/Red Signs)

Valerie Alston challenges the “do more” mindset in competitive youth sports, explaining that mental toughness includes knowing when pushing harder stops helping and recovery is needed. She distinguishes growth discomfort from depletion, emphasizing that recovery is part of training physically, mentally, and emotionally. Using a personal story of burnout from playing multiple varsity sports plus travel softball, she highlights how overloading can reduce focus and performance. The episode teaches families to recognize signs of fatigue and burnout and introduces a stoplight framework—green (push through), yellow (adjust/caution), red (stop and address)—to build self-awareness and self-regulation. Alston outlines recovery options beyond rest, including sleep, nutrition, lighter sessions, fun activities, and mental breaks, and offers discussion questions to help families evaluate what’s truly helping versus fear of falling behind.

00:00 More Isn't Always Better

01:29 Series Context And Myth

04:14 Stress Needs Recovery

06:20 Freshman Year Burnout

08:43 Tired Or Burned Out

11:18 Recovery Beyond Rest

14:15 Green Yellow Red System

18:36 Weekly Check In Plan

19:57 Family Discussion Questions

22:52 Wrap Up And Next Week

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

Does your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition?

Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way.

With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps.

There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle.

Assess. Discover. Build a game plan.

👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected]

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

You Can Own the Goal Without Owning the Outcome | Controlling the Controllables

Valerie Alston explains that athletes can work hard and still miss desired outcomes like making varsity, earning scholarships, or getting recruited because sports involve other people, limited opportunities, circumstances, and luck. She reframes mental toughness as accurate thinking and forward movement when things don’t go as planned, emphasizing separating desired outcomes from controllable process goals. The episode breaks performance factors into three categories—what you control (effort, preparation, attitude, recovery, grades), what you influence (playing time, recruiting interest, team success), and what you must accept (roster needs, injuries, officiating, others’ talent, coaches’ decisions). Alston discusses attribution and realistic optimism, encourages allowing disappointment without rushing to fix it, and offers a three-question reset: what happened, what’s yours to learn, and what happens next, plus discussion prompts for sports families.

00:00 Effort Without Guarantees

01:43 Own Goal Not Outcome

05:53 Control Influence Accept

10:30 Rewrite The Story

12:46 Realistic Optimism Reroutes

18:44 Feel Disappointment Then Act

21:06 Three Question Reset

22:39 Family Discussion Prompts

27:02 Weekly Takeaways And Next

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

Does your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition?

Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way.

With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps.

There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle.

Assess. Discover. Build a game plan.

👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected]

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Whose Dream Is It Anyway? Helping Young Athletes Own Their Goals

Valerie Alston explores how parents and young athletes can identify who truly owns a sports goal by examining motivation, ownership, and family expectations. She explains how parents can unintentionally carry an athlete’s dream through constant reminders, planning, and recruiting pressure, and contrasts external pressure-driven motivation with internal, personally valued motivation that is more sustainable. The episode encourages parents to support rather than carry the dream, shift age-appropriate responsibility to athletes, and distinguish between temporary dips in motivation and genuine changes in priorities. Alston offers an “ownership check” family exercise and guided conversation questions about goals, willingness to do the work, transferring responsibilities, and how to safely talk if dreams change, concluding with a preview of next week’s topic on handling unmet opportunities despite hard work.

00:00 Whose Dream Is It

01:42 Series Recap Setup

03:00 Potential Versus Desire

04:56 Four Motivation Types

08:40 Stop Carrying The Goal

10:40 When Goals Change

13:31 Autonomy With Accountability

16:18 Define Success Together

18:03 Ownership Check Challenge

19:45 Family Conversation Questions

23:33 Key Takeaways Next Week

25:00 Free Assessment Outro

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

Does your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition?

Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way.

With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps.

There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle.

Assess. Discover. Build a game plan.

👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected]

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Social Media & Youth Sports: Comparison, Confidence, and Becoming Elite vs Looking Elite

Host Valerie Alston explains how social media changes youth athletes’ comparison habits by encouraging them to measure their real, day-to-day experience against others’ highlight reels, which can hurt motivation and confidence. She reframes comparison as a tool for learning asking “What can I learn from that?” and challenges athletes to focus on becoming great rather than performing for likes and attention. The episode emphasizes building confidence from internal evidence of growth instead of external validation like rankings, playing time, offers, or post engagement. Alston also urges athletes to protect their attention with a “social media audit” (teach/inspire/entertain vs drain) and to track progress using a personal scorecard that includes mental, emotional, and teamwork markers. She closes with family discussion questions and previews next week’s topic: whose dream the goal really is.

00:00 Social Media Comparison Trap

01:24 Series Setup and Purpose

02:15 Highlight Reels vs Reality

04:28 Learn Instead of Judge

06:22 Looking Elite vs Becoming

08:42 Build Internal Confidence

11:24 Protect Your Attention

13:25 Social Media Feed Audit

16:28 Your Personal Scorecard

17:52 Weekly Challenge and Reset

19:12 Family Discussion Questions

22:54 Wrap Up and Next Week

24:08 Free Mental Skills Assessment

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

Does your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition?

Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way.

With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete a short survey, receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps.

There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle.

Assess. Discover. Build a game plan.

👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected]

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

The Pressure to Be Elite (Part 1): What Is Youth Sports Supposed to Do for Our Kids?

Valerie Alston launches a six-week series, “The Pressure to Be Elite,” exploring how youth sports have become serious earlier through rankings, recruiting, showcases, and constant pursuit of the “next level.” She clarifies the series isn’t anti-competition or anti-big dreams, but examines how chasing “elite” can shift athletes from a growth mindset (“How do I get better?”) to anxiety and comparison (“Am I good enough?”). Alston encourages families to focus on what sport is providing right now—skill growth, teamwork, resilience, confidence, relationships—and to “expand the scoreboard” beyond wins, stats, and roster spots. She challenges parents and athletes to separately answer “Sports are worth doing because…” and compare definitions of success, then use conversation prompts about what elite means, why they play, current benefits, and whether they’re chasing the same goal. Next week focuses on social media.

00:00 Episode 83: When Did Youth Sports Get So Serious? The Pressure to Be “Elite”

02:21 What Does Elite Mean?

04:09 How Can I Get Better vs. Am I Good Enough?

08:43 Expanding the Scoreboard

09:11 Athlete A vs Athlete B

12:25 Family Challenge

13:46 Conversation Prompts

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

Does your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition?

Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way.

With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps.

There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle.

Assess. Discover. Build a game plan.

👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected]

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

How Athletes Can Take Tough Feedback Without Losing Confidence (Growth Mindset + Parent Tips)

Valerie Alston discusses why fast-improving athletes learn to use coaching feedback without turning it into an identity statement, explaining that feedback can build confidence when viewed as information rather than a measure of worth. She introduces a growth mindset and attribution theory (internal vs. external, controllable vs. uncontrollable, stable vs. unstable) to help athletes interpret mistakes in ways that support learning, ownership, and future improvement, while noting some errors truly are out of one’s control. The episode encourages responding to feedback with curiosity instead of defensiveness, emphasizing that real confidence comes from competence and how athletes bounce back after tough moments. Parents are coached to normalize correction, show empathy, and ask reflective questions that help athletes process feedback productively, followed by four conversation prompts for families.

00:00 Feedback Builds Confidence

01:23 Why Athletes Resist Coaching

03:08 Growth Mindset Reframe

04:38 Attribution Theory Explained

07:47 Better Self Talk After Mistakes

10:47 Curiosity Over Defensiveness

12:22 Real Confidence Comes From Skill

14:18 Parents Guide The Process

15:42 Car Ride Discussion Questions

17:52 Final Takeaways And Next Steps

Discussion questions:

1. Think about the last piece of feedback you received from a coach. What was your first reaction? After thinking about it, was there something valuable you could learn from it?
2. When something doesn't go well in your sport, what's the story you usually tell yourself? Is that explanation helping you grow, or is it holding you back?
3. What's the difference between hearing "I made a mistake" and "I am a mistake"? Why do those two thoughts lead to very different levels of confidence?
4. Parents: What's one way I can help you process tough feedback without immediately trying to fix the situation? Athletes: What kind of support helps you most after receiving difficult coaching?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected]

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Stop Chasing Perfection: Compete With Purpose, Trust Your Prep (Ricky Scruggs) | Car Ride Conversations

Host Valerie Alston continues her conversation with Ricky Scruggs on why many talented athletes struggle in games: they focus on doing things perfectly and on looking like a good player instead of remembering the objective—winning by accomplishing the goal of the sport. Scruggs shares lessons from baseball and motor learning about goal-oriented performance, trusting preparation, and avoiding mechanical overthinking during competition, emphasizing that perfectionism undermines progress and that highlight culture and social media distort expectations. He encourages parents to avoid extremes of overprotection or harsh pressure and instead use sports as a character-building vehicle that also fuels peak performance through purpose, relationships, and resilience. The episode ends with family discussion questions about goals vs. appearance, in-game thoughts, lessons sport teaches beyond mechanics, and how parents can best support healthy development.

00:00 Why Athletes Choke

01:16 Rule Book Reality Check

03:40 Goal Focus Beats Mechanics

06:35 Perfectionism and Social Media

08:37 Parenting for Character

11:34 Ricky Resources and Book

13:36 Family Discussion Questions

17:13 Wrap Up and Next Steps

http://www.centerfieldcoaching.com/

Thanks for joining me on Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a youth sports coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V