Metta State of Mind - Just Breathe

Carl Jung - Building Safe Love


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Carl Jung didn’t use the modern phrase “self-love” the way we do today, but his entire psychology is built around becoming whole, integrating the parts of yourself you reject, and forming a relationship with the Self that is grounded in truth, compassion, and responsibility.

To Jung, self-love is not pampering — it is inner honesty.

🌱 1. Self-love begins with self-knowledge
Jung believed that true love of self is impossible without knowing who you really are, beyond masks, roles, and expectations.

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

You cannot love a persona you perform for the world.

You can only love the person you discover when you remove the mask.

Self-love = the courage to meet your own depths.

🌑 2. Self-love requires facing the Shadow
 
 
 

The Shadow is everything you reject:

  • jealousy

  • insecurity

  • rage

  • cravings

  • trauma responses

  • desires that don’t “fit” your image

    Most people believe loving yourself means only loving your light.

    Jung says the opposite:

    You do not become whole by idealizing yourself,

    but by integrating what you fear and deny.

    Self-love happens when you can say:

    • “I am flawed.”

    • “I am messy.”

    • “I am human.”

    • “And I am worthy anyway.”

      You don’t excuse harmful behavior — you own it and transform it.

      🌷 3. Self-love is individuation — becoming who you truly are
       
       
       

      For Jung, the purpose of life is individuation — integrating all parts of the psyche so the authentic Self emerges.

      Self-love is not a feeling.

      It’s a movement toward wholeness.

      • You stop abandoning yourself to please others.

      • You stop living for approval.

      • You stop shrinking to fit into old identities.

        You begin to honor your internal compass, even when society disapproves.

        🔥 4. Self-love is the reclaiming of personal authority

        Jung saw modern suffering as a result of living by outer models:

        • what parents expect

        • what culture praises

        • what religion demands

        • what peers reward

          He warned:

          “The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.”

          Self-love is knowing your own voice —

          so the world cannot define you.

          💞 5. Loving yourself helps you love others

          Avoiding yourself leads to projection:

          • you see your Shadow in everyone else,

          • you resent people who mirror your wounds,

          • you judge what you haven’t accepted within.

            Self-love breaks projection.

            When I no longer fight myself,

            I no longer fight the world.

            Loving yourself responsibly improves relationships because you stop demanding others heal the parts you refuse to see.

            🕊️ 6. Self-love includes boundaries and discipline

            To Jung, the Self is not childish indulgence.

            It is inner maturity.

            Self-love can look like:

            • saying no

            • resting

            • doing the uncomfortable work

            • leaving toxic environments

            • forgiving yourself

            • choosing growth

              It is a sacred responsibility to your own potential.

              🌌 7. Self-love is connection to the Self (capital S)

              Jung distinguished between:

              • the ego (small ‘I’)

              • the Self (the total psyche, the divine center)

                Self-love is not ego inflation (“I’m perfect”).

                It is alignment with the Self — the guiding intelligence inside you.

                When you live from the Self:

                • You feel meaning instead of emptiness

                • You trust intuition

                • You express creativity

                • You radiate authenticity

                • You stop living in fear

                  This is not narcissism.

                  It is spiritual integration.

                  🧡 In Jung’s language:

                  Self-love = the radical acceptance of your total being

                  light + shadow + wounds + gifts + potential.

                  It is the moment you look inward and say:

                  “I will no longer abandon myself.”

                  That is where healing begins

                  and where destiny becomes possible.

                   

                   

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                  Metta State of Mind - Just BreatheBy raggetysam