This week we are defiantly going GUEST-LESS to discuss the wall-to-wall elephant in the room: carpets. We walk on them, we clumsily spill red wine on them, and we ask if they "match the drapes." But what's lurking underneath America's obsession with, well, covering what's underneath? It's dark, it's sinister, and it's tearing our country apart. Or is it? Why don't you sit your ass down on a gorgeous (but not child-safe) hardwood floor and find out...

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