Today's questions: My mother has a very giving nature, she never kept anything for herself, if she just brought herself a new outfit and someone said to her that they liked it she would say, "here have it!"

The flip side of that is that she expects everyone else to be the same way, if I was playing with a toy and another child came over and wanted to play with it then she expected me to give it up… if I didn’t I was called selfish, and told I had bad middos… now as an adult I am trying to learn about how to have healthy boundaries, and I find that I have a lot of confusion and internal chaos, around this area, when I say no I have a voice in my head that is saying you are selfish and you have bad middos and when I say yes I feel resentful and then I have another voice in my head that says see how crazy you are you can never be happy for anyone… and then I feel guilt and like a horrible person… so my question is, could it be true that I just have bad middos? Am I selfish if I say no?

A pre Yom Kippur class

How do we know where a thought is coming from? How do we know if it should be taken seriously, believed and acted on? How do I know if its a logical thought or a fear based response of my heart disguised as a logical thought?  

Aligning with infinite energy only happens in a place where we completely let go of judgement and we stay with the question. An open state of curiosity and wonder beyond stories and judgements. If you find the judgements pulling you down, just become curious about them.

Artists are especially aware of creative block and it’s opposite: the ‘flow state.’ The flow state is when we experiences a huge amount of pleasure and energy from creativity or creative genius flowing through us. We lose track of space and time and often marvel at what is created in the end, having a sense that it came through us and not from us. As Julia Cameron, author of The Artists Way wrote, all creativity is ‘eavesdropping on G-d.’ When we think that we are the one creating, we often get stuck. Because, is it good enough? Will people like it? Is it prefect to my standards of perfection? We get stuck on ‘whatever I am creating is an expression of me,’ and then, ‘what will people think of me?  this thought process blocks the flow of infinity coming through us.

One of the keys that help us to stay in the flow state is remembering: ‘All success is G-ds, all failure is G-d gently reminding me that I thought it was me’

A true relationship involves feeling the other, love and respect of an active kind. If we feel indifferent towards G-d we must know that connection is not possible when the heart is closed and defended. If we feel closed and defended the first place to begin in our divine service is facing our grief, opening our hearts and returning to the expanded light that we always were.                                        

What are the spiritual possibilities available to us?

What are the spiritual possibilities available to us?