Chip and Cern Show

Fall is here. The favorite time of year (for sports) for Chip and Cern. Baseball playoffs, NFL and no NBA.    Chip asks Cern if fantasy football or fantasy baseball is more popular with the American People. They both agreed that football was because it was less time investment per week. Chip and Cern started asking around with their friends if anyone wanted to do a pick ‘em league for a few bucks for fun. They decided to start the Chip and Cern Show Pick ‘Em League. With only a few days until the start of the season they were able to round up 35 people to join this league with weekly payouts and big bonus for 1st, 2nd and 3rd places.    The Pick ‘Em Leagues are nice because it doesn’t require a ton of NFL/football intelligence to play and have fun. This format is easier to get people who don’t know much about football because there is a good chance they can win. This league really took off and everyone was impressed with how many people joined. Chip is the banker and Cern is helping with the spreadsheets for tracking payouts and who needs to settle up.   Chip is just happy that this pick em league is making him watch more football and paying attention to the games every week. Chip and Cern are having a pretty good starts so far in week 5. This league you also have to pick against the spreads which throws everyone’s game off. There are so many upsets in the first few weeks it just throws a wrench into anything.   It is hard for Cern to explain to the kids about how to pick the spreads because you might not be rooting for a certain team, but you just want them to score a certain amount of points.    The weeks are getting won by one or two points. Chip repeats what Cern says a lot.    Don’t start picking your teams with your heart. If you are a die hard fan you might get burned by picking your team every time. Cern always picks the Rams and they have been hot, so he is looking good. The Seahawks were getting huge spreads and not covering, but still winning, so Chip feels sorta happy.   The 49ers are sucking right now and Chip and Cern are loving it. About 80% of the league they are playing in is 9er’s fans who will pick them no matter what.    Someone in the league was pretty close to picking a perfect week which would warrant a special bonus money. He picked every game correctly until about 1:30p on Sunday which is a hellova streak.    The NFL is having the lowest ratings and viewers as of late, so they were talking about fining teams for what they are posting on Facebook and Twitter. The NFL has also started being a bit liberal with handing out the excessive celebration fines and penalties. It is making the games not as much fun to watch.    Chip likes to see players get lit up just as much as anyone else, but he also respects the fact they are trying to protect some players. It is tough to tell a player they need to stop whilst in full speed coming for a sack.    Cern tried looking up a tweet from Neil DeGrass Tyson to no avail.    Odel Beckham Jr is up to $75k in fines for the year. Some of the fines are petty.    Chip speculates that the NFL might be more of a selfish player center sport rather than a team when compared to baseball. MLB is more team oriented because you need to work more collectively to be a competitive team. One or two solid players on a NFL team can carry a team as opposed to one or two players on a baseball team will rarely make a difference.   When Alex Smith was the starting QB people were begging for Colin Kaepernick to start because he was the second coming of Joe Montana. Now they are trying to restructure his contract to a more performance based contract.    In Cern’s youth he was once shamed for being a Ram’s fan and he has hated the 9ers ever sense that day.   Kaepernick has the dumbest hair style with a huge full Q-Tip afro.    Chip and Cern never played football, but Chip was “recruited” by the football coach. The high school team sucked and a 500 record would be a huge success. Chip and Cern discuss about what protects your dick and balls during football. Do you wear a cup? Maybe they get a dick splint and blow up a hot bun type thing.    Cern picks the Vikings to win the Super Bowl right now. He thinks the Eagles will come back down to earth with their rookie QB.    Be sure to spread the word around and tell your friends about the Chip and Cern Show. The radio is dying and podcasts are coming, so be ready. You can plug your phone into your car and listen when driving around.    If you wanting a free sticker, shoot an email to [email protected] and we will give you one. Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo he did an awesome job at our logo design.    As always we appreciate you spreading the word with your friends, coworkers, family and churchgoing community members. The Hits v1 and The Hits v2 are a great into to the Chip and Cern Show, so share those!   Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger!   

The Netflix exclusive show Stranger Things is a huge hit and rightfully so. Chip and Cern give you an intro to the show then an episode by episode recap! If you haven’t seen the show head over to Netflix and watch the first episode/ chapter.    Both Chip and Cern are enjoying a large pint of Blind Pig from Russian River Brewery in Santa Rosa, CA. This brewery is most known for Pliney the Elder Double IPA. Blind Pig is a single IPA and very tasty. Chip goes on to describe the beer making process which reminds them that there is a Chip and Cern Brew going around that probably taste like an old  shoe by now.   ****SOILER FREE STARTS NOW****   The opening title sequence really screams 80s. Super nostalgic story about 4 friends Will, Mike, Dustin and Luke who are classic 80’s nerdy kids. Playing D and D in the basement for hours. They ride their bikes everywhere and are around middle school age. Not really interested in girls and would rather hang around with their friends.    Chapter 1: The boys finish their D & D game and they all ride their bikes home and Will comes home and you get the feeling that something is after him. He hears a weird noise and ends up disappearing. The only trace of him is his bike he ditched in the woods to run inside. He was back to the wall and then he was gone. The next day Will’s mom, played by Winona Ryder, calls around looking for her son. The boys take it upon themselves to search for their friend. Will’s mom Joyce goes to the local police station only to meet the town sheriff, Jim Hopper. Hopper is very rough around the edges, beer bottles around, cig hanging out of her mouth.    There is a little kid that is running around and runs into a diner. Doesn’t speak, but is offered food and is starving. There is a fan that is making some and she looks at the fan and fries the circuit, stopping the fan. That is the first hint to the powers of this little girl.   Chip and Cern both are really digging on the soundtrack. Here is a Spotify playlist of said songs.      ****SPOILERS HERE ON OUT****         Here is the IMBD provided sentence summary of each episode. If you want to hear all the details be sure to listen along.    Chapter 2: The Weirdo on Maple Street   Mike hides the mysterious girl in his house. Joyce gets a strange phone call.   Chapter 3: Holly, Jolly   An increasingly concerned Nancy looks for Barb and finds out what Jonathan's been up to. Joyce is convinced Will is trying to talk to her.   Chapter 4: The Body   Refusing to believe Will is dead, Joyce tries to connect with her son. The boys give Eleven a makeover. Johnathan and Nancy form an unlikely alliance.   Chapter 5: The Flea and the Acrobat   Hopper breaks into the lab to find the truth about Will's death. The boys try to locate the "gate" that will take them to Will.   Chapter 6: The Monster   Hopper and Joyce find the truth about the lab's experiments. After their fight, the boys look for the missing Eleven.   Chapter 7: The Bathtub   The government comes searching for Eleven. Eleven looks for Will in the Upside Down.   Chapter 8: The Upside Down   Joyce and Hopper are taken in for questioning. Nancy and Jonathan prepare to fight the monster and save Will.   That was the Chip and Cern Show Stranger Things Summary. If you have any shows you want Chip and Cern to review shoot us an email at [email protected], Tweet at @chipandcernshow  or send a message on Facebook.    Be sure to spread the word around and tell your friends about the Chip and Cern Show. The radio is dying and podcasts are coming, so be ready. You can plug your phone into your car and listen when driving around.    If you wanting a free sticker, shoot an email to [email protected] and we will give you one. Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo he did an awesome job at our logo design.    As always we appreciate you spreading the word with your friends, coworkers, family and churchgoing community members. The Hits v1 and The Hits v2 are a great into to the Chip and Cern Show, so share those!   Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger!   

Wells Fargo is in the news because their excessive sales pressure lead bankers to open over 2 million fraudulent accounts. They have fired over 5300 employees for opening these accounts and have been fined a measly (in comparison to their revenue)    Chip used to work for Wells Fargo and had the same job as many of these fired employees. He was NOT fired from Wells Fargo AND DID NOT open any accounts that were not consented to by the employees. He was a teller, personal banker and CSSR during his time at Wells Fargo.    Cern said Chip was always hating his job at Wells Fargo because of the excessive sales pressure and because Chip would always preform at the minimum in order to hit his goals and get the bonus.    Chip took the personal banker to heart and actually acted in the personal interest of the customers. He had all his friends and family ready to sign up accounts because of the service he provided.    Wells Fargo had tiers of performance, Bronze, Silver and Gold. For example your goal for “keeping your job” as Wells Fargo mangers put it would be 6 solutions. Bronze would be 7, Silver 8 and Gold 10 solutions. A solution was Wells Fargo speak for a product. A checking account was one solution, a debit card was another, a credit card was a 3rd. So the average number of productions a person would have would be about 5-7. Checking and savings account, online banking, debit card and maybe a credit card. Some customers would have their mortgage and/or a line of credit which is where you would see some people with 7 products.    Cern brings up a good point that if you are younger and looking for a career path you would be hard pressed to find anyone who would actually recommend doing sales. Extremely high pressure and a real “what have you done for me lately" type of attitude.    John Stumpf was put to task by Senator Elizabeth Warren. That video and link is here.    According to Chip when a customer would come to your desk the manager would put extreme pressure to take advantage of that customer to maximize the amount of products/solutions that you get. Sometimes that would even go as far as the manager standing over your shoulder while you were talking with the customer or setting up the account. Wells Fargo goal was always constantly increase the amount of products a customer has. Cross selling was the term that they used.   You don’t want to have a job where when you wake up you are thinking how bad your life is because you have to go to work. Wells Fargo’s sales pressure made Chip really dislike the job.   At Chip’s branch there would be some people were so over the top with the shady practices. Chip would know certain customers were unable to really manage one checking account let alone much else and if they went to another banker they would open them "secondary accounts to help them manage their money better,” which was complete bull shit and within a month or two that account would be closed because of overdrafts or lack of funds in the account.    Lots of these accounts wasn’t the right thing by the customer and Chip never really could go against that. Many times when Chip would open just a checking account the manger would come over after the customer had left and ask why there wasn’t a savings account setup. Chip would explain that they didn’t want one or whatever the reason and the manager would tell him he needed to call the customer back and get that savings account. They didn’t care if he had to stay overtime at work or stay until 7pm to get the account or hit his daily numbers.    Cern tells a story of when Tony and him came down for Chip’s birthday and they saved up for a bottle of Dom Perignon and Wild Turkey. They beat Chip home and when he got to the door he just said “rough day” because he had to stay an extra hour or more at work trying to get the numbers. Chip was so bummed out that on his birthday he was forced to stay longer.   Internally at Wells Fargo they kept preaching “customer first, do what is right by the customer” all Wells Fargo employees knew this was complete bull shit because the managers would be spitting fire on you if you didn’t get your number of accounts no matter what the customer’s situation was. Wells Fargo always said the more products the better the customer was.   Trying to get customers to refinance their auto loan when Wells Fargo’s rates were 5 basis points higher was a common thing managers would try to have you do.    Stumpf, the Wells Fargo CEO, was put to task said the 5300 employees were lone actors acting on their own accord, not from the sales pressure.    The constant script was to get your numbers no matter what. If you were short one day the mangers would threaten to make you stay and cold call until you got your numbers.    The thing about Wells Fargo, that Chip noticed as an ex employee there, was that the people that did the most unethical, shady practices were PROMOTED.    Chip recalls a story on when he had to call HR because of some extremely “shady shit” was happening. Chip saw a banker lean over the desk, with no customer in sight, and sign the pin pad which is what you did when you would open a new account. This same banker even set up a person’s PIN with no customer in sight. Two weeks later after this call, nothing has happened and that employee was actually promoted.    According to CNNMoney " One former Wells Fargo human resources official even said the bank had a method in place to retaliate against tipsters. He said that Wells Fargo would find ways to fire employees “in retaliation for shining light” on sales issues. It could be as simple as monitoring the employee to find a fault, like showing up a few minutes late on several occasions. “If this person was supposed to be at the branch at 8:30 a.m. and they showed up at 8:32 a.m, they would fire them,” the former human resources official told CNNMoney, on the condition he remain anonymous out of fear for his career.   According to this article some employees even emailed the CEO to make him privy to the illegal tactics that was happing inside of these branches.   During the time when Stumpf was CEO he made $200 million when this “scam”was going on. Chip highly recommends watching Elizabeth Warren lay into the CEO. She made the great point that if a teller grabbed some $20’s when he was employed he would be fired and in jail. Stumpf stole $200 MILLION and nothing negative has happened.    Congress needs to make an example of Stumpf for this because a vast majority of white collar executive crimes go unpunished. Cern does think that it would cause a short term improvement with the banking industry.    Chip was very excited when he got to put his notice in to quit. He wanted to spend money to get a marching band to march through shouting “I QUIT, I QUIT."   Less than a week after Chip quit he closed all his Wells Fargo accounts because he knew all the inside dirt. All Wells Fargo employees did the same thing.   Chip said he would rather work retail during holidays slinging iPhone than selling checking accounts at Wells Fargo.   How is Wells Fargo going to repay these illegal accounts? How do you put a number on it? Your credit score is lower, you have a tarnished record and even worse you lost your job.    Literally everyday new articles are coming out about new issues with Wells Fargo. There is now a class action law suit for 2.9 BILLION against Wells Fargo.    Cern and Tony would be down in San Francisco almost every week so he would see how bummed out Chip was all the time and stressed. Chip was drinking more often, over eating and generally had a lower quality of life.    Chip is at a job now where he is happy to show up everyday. He likes the people he works with, for and is happy to be working there. Yes there is still stressful times, but it is such a better environment.    Chip thinks that the fine against Wells Fargo wasn’t enough. The fine needs to hurt Wells Fargo. 100% of the reports that are coming out have rang true to Chip, every single one. People who broke the rules were promoted or moved to a different branch, never in 5 years did Chip see anyone who broke the rules get fired. Chip has seen some shady ass shit in his days at Wells Fargo.   If you are going to subpoena Chip please give a shout out to Chip and Cern Show cause we could really use the plug. If you have any questions for Chip or Cern email [email protected]   The branch managers, as Chip confirms, were mostly aware of everything that was going on. The district managers were more than likely aware of the activities.    This was a therapy session for Chip about his Wells Fargo days. It was good that Chip now knows what a real miserable job is like. Cern closed all his Wells Fargo accounts when Chip left because he was his banker.   Jump into January was a massive deal for Wells Fargo. They would force you to have 10 members of your friends and family open new accounts every year. There are too many stories to get into and it would take 2 hours to tell them all.   If you worked for Wells Fargo and want to vent to us Tweet us at @chipandcernshow or on Facebook at Chip and Cern Show.    Cern has been going hog wild on the Twitter account retweeting Rams’ tweets.    Be sure to spread the word around and tell your friends about the Chip and Cern Show. The radio is dying and podcasts are coming, so be ready. You can plug your phone into your car and listen when driving around.    If you wanting a free sticker, shoot an email to [email protected] and we will give you one. Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo he did an awesome job at our logo design.    As always we appreciate you spreading the word with your friends, coworkers, family and churchgoing community members. The Hits v1 and The Hits v2 are a great into to the Chip and Cern Show, so share those!   Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger! 

Chip and Cern are back with another version of Ask Chip and Cern. These are questions from anyone about anything. Dating, work, life, fantasy baseball or how to shave your ball sack.    Chip throws out the first question:  

1. Should you shave your balls? 

  We have left the answers off the show notes, so if you want to hear them you have to listen!  

1. Do men really reject hot women?
2. He says he is ashamed to have sex with me (casual relationship), but he is having relationships with other ladies. Help?
3. Just broke up, but should I go on a planned holiday with him? We broke up a few days ago and the trip is in 3 months. I don’t think the trip is a good idea, should we go through with it?

  Chip’s brother once went on a trip with a girl who he knew he was going to break up with later, but still went on the trip. He had some money invested in the trip, so Chip and Cern say no scumbag move here.  

1. Hot man/overweight woman. Should I trust this? I’m overweight and losing weight still and met a nice guy. I wonder if this guy is going after fat chicks because they are the center of attention or something else. Should I trust this?
2. Best friends with my ex. We started dating last year and have known each other for 3 years. He broke it off because he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. Now that we are best friends and talk a lot I still love him like we used to. Should I continue to still be friends with him and communicate with him? 

  Have good recommendations for beer ideas? Send a Tweet to @chipandcernshow and we will give it a shot.   

1. Cheating or not? Wife of 5 years kissed a friend who just told him he was dying of cancer. 
2. I need a response to text his guy! Please give me a response to text back ASAP!
3. What is the difference between “hehe” and “haha”? 
4. How strange of it is to have a man tell you he hasn’t showered for two days since we hugged because he wanted to keep the scent on him? It was a good bye hug on Friday and on Monday he text to say he hasn’t showered to keep the scent on him.
5. Dating with coworker. I want to send her this email and tell me what you think. He gave her a Starbucks card and is going to send this email… “In case you forgot your lunch today, I’ll be at Starbucks at noon today if you want to meet."
6. Bonus question: What do you think about dating a coworker?
7. Bonus bonus question: Girlfriend has a male friend that pinched her breasts as a joke. The guy is married with a wife and is this ok?

  If you have any questions submit your questions to [email protected], tweet on Twitter and post on Facebook. Don’t forget hats, shirts and stickers at www.chipandcernshow.com/shop.   They are drinking St. Archer out of San Diego, CA. They are enjoying the White Ale which Chip isn’t a big fan, and neither is Cern. Chip and Cern then grovel at the feet of St. Archer.    That was the 2nd Ask Chip and Cern segment. Again if you have questions post them on Facebook, Twitter or email. If you don’t want any names mentioned we can respect that.    If you want a free sticker, email [email protected].   Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo.   As always we appreciate you spreading the word with your friends, coworkers, family and churchgoing community members. The Hits v1 and The Hits v2 are a great into to the Chip and Cern Show, so share those!   If you liked that and would like to support Chip and Cern please donate to PATREON. Stickers, t shirts, hoodies, guest spot and more.    Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger! 

Chip and Cern are bringing the funny as Cern states right out of the gate. The dreaded REPLY ALL is the bane of the office infractions. Unfortunately not punishable by death, the reply all just annoys Chip and Cern as well as other office employees around the world.   Cern’s most recent reply all situation came after a retirement email thanking Joe Emplyoee for this 10 years of service. Then everyone chimes in with the one line “congrats,” long time coming, etc which just clogs everyone’s inbox for no reason at all. Cern places bets on who will be the 1st person to reply all and the over/under on how many people reply all. Cern will usually just delete these congrats emails right away. Chip inquires about if there was food brought to the office the serial reply all person would just reply “thx” which, as Chip points out, has zero value add to the conversion.    At Cern’s office there was a email bickering match that Cern got pulled in to that was already 7 deep. Cern just reply all and said “you are killing me."   At Chip’s office the HR office had to send an email about NOT replying all, which that was reply all to it was driving Chip crazy. There is a few serial reply all folks in his office who made their own email thread where they can reply all until the cows come home.    Chip inquires to Cern about accidental reply alls that caused embarrassment. Cern was the cause of once of these. He was trying to have the address changed and he typed “can you SHIT (instead of ship) to Modesto.” Nobody called him out on it, but he realized after the fact that he told them to shit all over California.   Chip shares  a story of a reply all from an ex employee to the HR person who sent an email about getting their reviews in for compensation of the year. This ex employee reply all to the entire company and said “Just let me know what I need to do to get my bonus.” everyone looked up from their desks and was like oh shit.    At Chip’s work they use “Google for Work” the default is reply, so people are taking extra steps to click reply all. Cern goes to one up. He sends out a lot of reports and big ass Excel docs so when people reply all it attaches the big file, so when this gets sent around a few times it fills up the mailbox.    Chip will go so far to send emails to every and put them in the bcc, so they cannot reply all. Just to spite folks because that is what he does.    Chip and Cern Pro Tip: use reply all sparangly and with intelligence.    If you have some reply all disasters from your work be sure to send it our way to [email protected] and we will be sure to enjoy those.    You know what is cool to wear to the office? Chip and Cern Show hats and t-shirts, so head over to the Chip and Cern Show Shop now.    Be sure to spread the word around and tell your friends about the Chip and Cern Show. The radio is dying and podcasts are coming, so be ready. You can plug your phone into your car and listen when drying around.  If you wanting a free sticker, email [email protected] and we will give you one. Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo he did a swell job.    As always we appreciate you spreading the word with your friends, coworkers, family and churchgoing community members. The Hits v1 and The Hits v2 are a great into to the Chip and Cern Show, so share those!   If you liked that and would like to support Chip and Cern please donate to PATREON. Stickers, t shirts, hoodies, guest spot and more.    Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger!   

Chip just recently got a speeding ticket and that brought Chip and Cern back to when Cern helped Chip get a ticket, Cern's '87 5.0 Mustang and which one of their friends had the worst driving record.    Thanks for telling a friend about the Chip and Cern Show!   Chip and Cern are still on the Saint Archer kick this week with their IPA and Cern is going to put this in his rotation. Drink is great, but what doesn’t go well with drinking is driving.   Chip recently got himself a speeding ticket for the first time in a long time. Cern’s last ticket was when he was 17 on some U-Turn on a red light, and because he was minor they had to call his parents.    Chip’s last ticket was with Cern in the car. Chip, Cern and their other buddies would frequent Hooters weekly. More on this later there is a tangent thrown in.   Chip’s ticket count is now at 5 to Cern’s one ticket.    Chip “got fucked” on one ticket in a construction zone. There was 6 cars ahead that all went through a red light when he was being waived through by a construction worker, got pulled over and got a ticket. He didn’t have his paperwork in his car. When the ticket was supposed to be sent, so for months Chip had to intercept the mail to get the ticket because the car was in his parent’s name. The ticket came and it was $1003 and Chip only had the $3 to cover. Chip had to take it to the appeals court to contest the ticket. He showed up on the date and the officer had already showed up several days earlier and there was a bench warrant out for Chip. They decided on a new date and the cop did show up the second time. He got it down to about $300, but couldn’t do traffic school because it was too close to his other stop sign ticket he had. So Chip had to suck it up, pay the fine and take the points on his driving record.    The epic story about Chip’s other ticket involves, like many things, Cern. Because Chip, Cern and their buddies weren’t 21 Hooters was a cool play to go get some wings and some ice tea on a Thursday night, plus there was girls there that would act like they were into you. Chip and Cern were too young and stupid to realize they were trying to get better tips. They went once when they were 21 and it clicked that the beer is way over priced, and the girls weren’t actually into you. Once this clicked they started going to Stingers, a local Sacramento State dive bar or Pine Cove another Sacramento dive for their $2 pitchers of PBR. Somehow there was a Chip and Cern Show event at the Pine Cove and met some fans there and proceeded to get blitzed out of our mind. Chip was really nervous cause he thought that these people really needed them to be funny. This is the 1 time Chip has done karaoke to Baby Got Back and then 10 mins later was hanging out Tony’s car puking as he drove down I-80.    Back to Hooters story. One night Chip and Cern brought 12 people to trivia and ended up winning some gift cards to GoKart racing in Sacramento. There was no drinking involved and everyone was excited about the trivia win, so they wanted to go use the GoKart tickets right away. Chip and Cern actually raced over there at very unsafe speeds. Chip recalls feeling really stupid after they got there because of how safe it was. They got to the GoKart place and you had to be in the cool suits and you never needed to hit the breaks. Sliding around corners bumping friends they had a blast. The gravity of the stupidity of the racing over to the GOKart, plus the fun racing of the gokarts made Chip thing we should just take it easy on the drive back home. They drove the speed limit the entire drive home.   Now for the story!    On Business 80 in the fast lane going 65. Stat boy Dana in the front seat, Cern and Tony in the back. There is no car in sight, they are in the carpool lane driving along. Out of nowhere a motorcycle comes us behind them and riding their bumper. Only lights in the rear view mirror. Chip remembers commenting about this fucking guy riding the bumper and lets off the gas to slow down and even gave a break tap or two. In retrospect Chip just should have moved over a lane and let the moto pass by, but that didn’t happen and they just rode it out. Chip continues to slow down to around 60. The moto slows down as well and then comes out to pass. Cern said he remembers thinking “Im gonna give this guy the finger,” and Chip looks back and sees Cern plastering his middle finger right up against the window. Chip then saw the motorcycle get closer and said “FUCK that is a COP!” Cern was flying full bird at the copper.  From Cern’s POV the cop saw Cern hit the breaks and pulled back behind Chip’s car.    Sure enough the cop pulled over Chip and the rest of the slap dicks. The cop came up really aggressively and started yelling at the car saying “you guys have something to say about me.” He asked if we knew why he pulled us over and he said Chip was speeding. Chip tried to explain himself, but the cop was being an asshole and trying to say Chip was going 65 in a  60. The officer goes back to his car and radios in and someone spoke up they knew Chip, so the cop came back and said he would take care of it, but still gave Chip the speeding ticket.    Chip called the guy whom the cop said “would take care of it” and was told that it sounds like Chip needs to learn a lesson cause of his idiot friends. Chip then had to bribe Stat Boy Dana at 7am to come to court to contest the ticket. Cern didn’t get the invite to that court date. The officer no showed, so the ticket got thrown out.   So now to current day, Chip explains his most recent ticket. Chip, his wife and young daughter were headed up to wine country for some cycling. This was about 7 or 8am and it was  2 lane highway and Chip likes to dive fast to get places in a  decent amount of time. He was weaving in and out because people who are going the speed limit in the fast lane. Chip got pulled over and he was told that he was speed. The officer asked how fast Chip was going he didn’t know how fast he was going, Chip didn’t know the speed limit, so he was fucked. The officer kinda gave Chip the “I just want you to be safe and not die” speech, but still gave Chip the ticket. He gave him a ticket for 75 in a 60, so that was nice. Chip was thinking how much a pain in the ass taking care of this is and come to find out you can do all this shit online. Traffic school was only $17 bucks and he was playing Pokemon Go and took his traffic school during his airport delay. He took it so fast the program told him he should take some more time to study the test.    Do you have any good stories about getting pulled over or tickets you got yourself? Tweet at @chipandcernshow or email your stories to [email protected].   Chip and Cern agree that Tony was the worst driver our of the group. He got his license suspended in high school because he had so many tickets in a short amount of time.    Joe had a few tickets, but Chip and Cern think Joe has a few. They also guessed that Stat Boy Dana might not have any or that many tickets.    Chip and Cern don’t have Instagram or Snapchat. If you want some stickers send us a tweet or a shout on Facebook.    Chip and Cern tried to wrap it up, but a tangent reboots the convo. Cern had a 1987 5.0 Ford Mustang with exhaust, big ass sound system and all the bells and whistles. Cern despite not having many tickets has gotten pulled over many times.    He forgot his wallet at his house and turned around to go get it at Tony’s house. Cern had IcyHot on his legs, which smelled like cough syrup and the cop asked him what the smell was and Cern gave him some smart ass answer. The cop had 4 more officers show up and they made Cern blow the breathalyzer. He passed and the cop flicked him the blow dongle thing and made some dick comment to him.    Chip and Cern Pro Tip: If you see a cop setting up for a speed trap don’t hit the breaks and freak out cause that draws attention to you just let off the gas.   If you want a free sticker, email [email protected].   Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo.   As always we appreciate you spreading the word with your friends, coworkers, family and churchgoing community members. The Hits v1 and The Hits v2 are a great into to the Chip and Cern Show, so share those!   If you liked that and would like to support Chip and Cern please donate to PATREON. Stickers, t shirts, hoodies, guest spot and more.    Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger! 

Cern blasts out of the gate shouting RANT SHOW. His blood is boiling and now he is full of piss and vinegar which is in his balls.    Chip starts with a hobo story. In San Francisco there is a homeless problem. Chip asks Cern what he subscribes to as far as donating to the homeless. Cern will give his spare change to the homeless if he has it. Papa Cern, who was born and raised in San Francisco’s Hunter’s Point, always gave a good word of advice to Cern. If you look at their shoes and they have nice, new shoes they are lying about the state of their life.    Rarely do Chip and Cern have cash on them, so there isn’t much change to give. Cern gets a beggar asking for change once even few months. Chip is getting requests for money nearly 3-4 times a week. Chip seems like a huge asshole, but he has a nice streak in him sometimes, and he wants to help them out. Chip will never give any money to homeless, one because he doesn’t have any cash on him and two because he thinks they are just going to spend it on booze. Sometimes if they are next to a Subway or food place Chip will ask what they want from there and he will go in and buy them the food. There is a really obese homeless that lived out where Chip used to live. He wouldn’t accept pennies and had them out in a tray. Chip just drove by there after not living in the area for 5-6 years and the fat hobo was still there! It is always funny when homeless are on their cell phones.    Chip bought a homeless guy a sandwich once from Subway and asked the guy what he wanted. He said turkey with lots of mayo and Chip was grossed out by the mayo. When they were making the sandy and watching the mayo get squirt on it really grossed out Chip. It was a triple spout mayo squirt out almost barfed looking at them making it.   San Francisco idiot tourists give cash 5 or 10 bucks and the homeless people will say “you don’t have a $20?” Pretty bold request from someone from begging for money.    Chip finally gets to his story. He is driving home and on Mission & Van Ness in San Francisco, which is a very busy intersection. There is a guy standing there with a sign that reads “Starving’ Like Marvin” which is pretty funny, so Chip felt like giving him some food, but didn’t really have anything to pass to the guy. He did have a Clif Bar in his arm rest which a perfect 250 calorie snack. He rolls the window down and offers the Clif Bar. The homeless guys said “no thanks” and turned down the food. His sign actually said STARVING and was offered food, but he turned down the food. A real head scratcher here.    Chip sends a group text out to everyone venting about getting turned down by the homeless guy. Chip and Cern feel that more often than not they are spending the money on booze. The fun thing about riding the Muni bus in San Francisco is the homeless drinking their booze and talking all sorts for crazy shit.   If you have had some good homeless person stories tweet us at @chipandcernshow.   Chip has a target story about when he and his wife were waiting for one of the new iPhones and on the line at AT&T Store in San Francisco. They were there at 7am at the crack of dawn to get the new iPhone and a homeless person came by and was so taken with Chip’s wife he offered her his wine that he was already drinking off of. This was well before 8am and they set the bottle down and the homeless person came back and took the wine from Chip and his wife.    Cern’s rant isn’t homeless related. He works in an office setting where he expects some rules to be in place. Cern needs his coffee in the morning and the coffee situation is old school. Cern gets in the office around 6:30am and sometimes there is coffee already made but it is super thick motor oil thickness coffee. These slap dicks don’t know how to make coffee  proper and that isn’t even Cern’s major rant. Cern’s first rant is about the coffee bandit. Someone will take the coffee and leave just a paper thin amount of coffee left. Cern knows that this is a woman because of some detective work because this has caused him so much pain in his life. He posted stake to wait for this person to leave the coffee in the thing to call them out on their shit. Cern caught this coffee bandit and called them out! They tried to play it off that there was plenty of coffee left to use and this person still hasn’t changed their ways.    Chip’s office has some of the pump coffee containers that when they are out of coffee they will sputter and it is really obvious when they need to be refilled.    Cern brought some Anchor Steam Brewing Go West! beer for this podcast. Anchor Steam is in San Francisco and makes a great beer.    Cern get’s roped into some of the office manager duties sometimes. The office manager at Chip’s office is really good and every week they will empty the fridge. Chip spotted a drink in the fridge he wanted that has been in the fridge for a bit and was gonna swoop. Then he saw it was expired 5 months ago and passed on it. Cern hasn’t had any food stolen from him in the office. If you are nice to the office manger it will go a long way.   At Cern’s office people will rant about how bad coffee is for you whilst drinking Coke and they will harp on the fact that it is all black and that isn’t good for your heart.    Chip is off on some tangent about junior collage taking a child development class that was with 95% women and only a few guys. Not sure why he was even taking the class but oh well.   Cern has another rant about conference calls and on this call he was running point on it and leading the call. A FedEx driver  was trying to make a delivery and they needed some help. Cern was trying to yell to the guy to get some help unloading. He kept bugging Cern about opening the door and wanting Cern to leave his desk to open the door for him and they got in some shouting match. Cern more or less told the guy to fuck off to which the guy/slapdick didn’t like. This FedEx driver has been back and isn’t too sharp.    There has got to be things that bother you and we want to hear about them. Email us at [email protected] or tweet us at @chipandcernshow.    Another thing that bothers Cern is the chicken shit emails where people will cc their boss or someone’s boss on the email to try to get some bull shit problem solved. Cern will give a few one off emails and even a phone call to give them a heads up about getting and update on the project. Cern’s office is full of not very tech savvy people who write in ALL CAPS and five or six ???????? on the end of emails.    If you want a free sticker, email [email protected].   Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo.   As always we appreciate you spreading the word with your friends, coworkers, family and churchgoing community members. The Hits v1 and The Hits v2 are a great into to the Chip and Cern Show, so share those!   If you liked that and would like to support Chip and Cern please donate to PATREON. Stickers, t shirts, hoodies, guest spot and more.    Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger! 

Chip and Cern are trying out a new show type, Ask Chip and Cern. We take your questions, the internet’s questions and any questions we can get our hands on and answer them for you, with of course the Chip and Cern insights. If you have any questions to submit please send them over to [email protected] or tweet us at @chipandcernshow. These questions could be serious, not or just life events that you want Chip and Cern’s feedback on. Don’t email about what to write in your local paper about your dead grandma.   As the mics crack, Cern cracks a wonderful blonde ale from Saint Archer Brewery in San Diego, CA. If you have ever been wine tasting you know that you start with the lighter white wines then progress to the bigger heavy reds to finish. Chip and Cern do the opposite with beer. You don’t want to be ending your evening with Double IPAs because that will put you in a bad spot.    These are questions that woman have asked answers of men. The topic is mostly dating and relationship advice.    Chip throws a softball to Cern for the 1st question.   Question 1:  “Is it weird/off that this person’s Facebook page doesn’t allow friend requests?"   Chip and Cern say: No that isn’t a red flag. You don’t want work snooping around your Facebook account especially if your profile pic is you ripping a huge bong load. Cern says that this lady is reading too far into this. With family and kids you don’t want to be broadcasting your life to people you don’t really know. Also if you are posting about politics on your Facebook Chip and Cern will boot you from their feed. If you want to suck the dude’s dick, send him a friend request. End of question.   Question 2: “How to I tell my boyfriend I cheated on him with his best friend?"   Chip and Cern say: Don’t tell him. Cern says “what do you think will come of this?” Chip provides more context. The girl’s boyfriend has been working a lot of hours and she was venting about it to his friend. They exchanged numbers, he came over and then they exchanged bodily fluids. The affair lasted 3 months before, here is the curveball, the boyfriend proposed to her and she said YES. He said he had been working so much to save up the money to buy her a nice ring. The best friend whom she cheated with is going to be the best man at the wedding. This is where this gets really sticky and stinky. Chip and Cern take a few moments to gather their thoughts because of the gravity of this situation. Here are the cons of telling. This friendship and relationship will more than likely be broken up. The entire triangle is going to be done. Cern brings up a good point that what kind of friend would do this to another friend. Chip and Cern say tell the friend whom you had the affair with that you are going to spill the beans, then you go tell the boyfriend. If you go through with the wedding, you are setting yourself up with divorce in 5 years. Cern says if this bothers you know, just wait until 3 years later, a kid or two and you keep seeing the best friend. You gotta tell the boyfriend. Maybe it was the drinking, ass eating or whatever, but you need to let it out.    Question 3: “Is he testing me when he asks about if I think different guys are cute?"   Chip and Cern say: Not that many guys give tests to their ladies. Guys are more than likely just trying to get into your pants after a night out of Olive Garden. Nobody in Chip and Cern’s circles are giving their ladies tests on dates. If these questions are asked guys are just seeing how far they can get on that evening’s date. If you ask what is the furtherest you have been on a 1st date and she answers anal, then you spring for the bottle of wine at Olive Garden.    Question 4: “What does it mean when a guy responds to a text, “haha”?"   Chip and Cern say: He probably thought it was funny. It was probably a funny joke or something that warranted a laugh. Chip and Cern are finding that a lot of these ladies are looking way to far into these things.    Question 5: “What are current dress sock trends?"   Chip and Cern say: Depends on what your dress code is at work. Cern’s dress code if business causal, so he dresses like he is going to the golf course. Slacks, a polo and no sneakers. They just changed the rule that they had to wear ties. Cern doesn’t really know what the trends for dress socks are he just goes with black. There are some cool socks coming out with baseball teams, patterns etc that you can express your creativity through your socks. Chip’s work dress code, in San Francisco, is extremely casual. Jeans, tee shirt and hoodies. He usually wears Chuck T’s to work and sometimes a button down shirt. Sometimes he wears shorts and a baseball hat. It really doesn’t fucking matter because it is San Francisco. Cern’s work allows beards, but you would have to have an overnight transition to a beard. Cern shaves twice a day like a fucking lion or something. The trends that Chip is seeing in San Francisco is bright colors and crazy patterns. #sockgamestrong     Question 6: “What can a wife do to be sexy for her man?"   Chip and Cern say: This is very case by case. Certain guys are ass men and different guys are tit men. Some guys think that a wife that cooks them dinner every night is sexy, while others want their ladies to walk them around on a leash. Chip says a little bit of the spontaneous stuff is always good and some lingerie is always a win. You got to go back to the early days of dating, no kids where you do whatever you want. Making out in the movies or a parking lot blow job. The lingerie is something that the ladies pour on thick in the beginning, but peters out quickly. The ladies can always just ask their husband/boyfriend/whomever what they think is sexy and work with that. Cern adds that boning is a good way to be sexy and to be into it. Wanting the D and being into it, not just going through the motions. That is the brass tacks of the situation. 15 years of marriage experience between Chip and Cern here.    Question 7: “Does saying yes to a guy on the first date mean the girl is cheap?"   Chip and Cern say: No, it is totally ok. Ladies need to get theirs too, so go for it. If you need it then go for it and if a guy thinks different then fuck him. You go girl.   Question 8: “Is it possible to hook up with an old friend and to not have it blow up?"   Chip and Cern say: Chip sets a stage where you are back at your high school reunion and you hook up with your high school crush. Cern says it will blow up. You want to be forward and get both people on the same page. When the P goes in the V lots of emotions and feelings get stirred up. You guys bang and in a few weeks you see that person on a date you could be upset. Chip will say you might be ok with a one time thing, but if it is an old friend there will be lots of history that will come into play and you will probably have some repercussions.    That was the first Ask Chip and Cern segment. Again if you have questions post them on Facebook, Twitter or email. If you don’t want any names mentioned we can respect that.    If you want a free sticker, email [email protected].   Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo.   As always we appreciate you spreading the word with your friends, coworkers, family and churchgoing community members. The Hits v1 and The Hits v2 are a great into to the Chip and Cern Show, so share those!   If you liked that and would like to support Chip and Cern please donate to PATREON. Stickers, t shirts, hoodies, guest spot and more.    Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger!   

Chip and Cern dive back into the craze that is Pokemon Go! If you missed the first Pokemon Go podcast be sure to listen to that. If you need some Chip and Cern Show swag like hats, and shirts check out the shop.    Chip and Cern are drinking Saint Archer Double IPA. They are already off topic talking about how beer is now coming in cans. Bottles used to be the craze back in the day, but cans are making a comeback.    Here is where Chip and Cern say you should drink a can or a bottle. Chip peels his labels. Cern rubs the top label.   Bar: Bottle Inside watching the game: can or bottle BBQ: Bottle Park: Can   Ok Chip and Cern are back on focus. After a few more weeks of playing Pokemon Go Chip and Cern give you a state of the union and an update on some stats.    Both Chip and Cern were under level 10 and Cern’s best Pokemon was level 400. Cern has been logging some serious hours in Pokemon to try to catch up with the rest of the guys. You can move up levels pretty quickly in the beginning, but once you get his above level 20 you need over 100k of XP.    Chip asks Cern what makes the game fun for Cern. Catching the Pokemon, evolving or leveling up. Cern likes to catch a rare Pokemon with decent CP, so he can be a big swinging dick at the local gyms. Chip enjoys catching different Pokemon and getting big CP ones. He likes to evolve them and sometimes battle in the gyms. Cern has yet to fight in the gym because his Pokemon are at a lower level than most others around. Cern’s brother fucking swooped in when a gym was pending on being taken over. Major dick move, but he got his gym in the gym. Chip has had a gym he took down sniped.    Cern doesn’t live in a rural area, but not a massive city like San Francisco. When he went to the Giants game he was in awe of all the Pokestops around. On Chip’s drive into Cern’s neighborhood he passed two Pokestops in 5 miles. At Chip’s desk in San Francisco he has two Pokestops always full of lures.    Chip and Cern had their erect, throbbing cocks out and were comparing their Pokedexs and Cern had less, but Chip hadn’t even seen a good amount of the ones that Cern has.   Cern lives next to a lake, so there are some water Pokemon, but nothing like he saw in Oakland on the way to the Giants game. Cern has a lot of Pickachu’s and Chip has only found one. Chip was pissed he can’t get more that one of those yellow fuckers. Cern’s brother was surprised to see several Charmander around Cern’s neighborhood.    Niantac, pronounced knee-in-tac, had a really hard time when the game first was released because their servers were getting fucked harder than Pam Anderson’s 90’s bush as Chip put it. Tommy Lee was deep dicking the Niantac servers.    They have since done some app updates that have fixed a lot of the issues, but it exposed a bug which would tell you when a Pokemon was close. This was the “three step bug” where it would always show 3 steps no matter how close you were to a Pokemon. The Reddit folks, a fickle bunch, demand a response and tons of shit from this company who made a free game which they are enjoying. Fuck them says Chip.    Cern used Pokevision. It was a map that used API/GPS to tell you where people had caught a Pokemon. It was a separate app and would show you how long ago someone caught a Pokemon and how much time was left before that Pokemon was spawning was over. Chip asks if that takes away from the spirit of the game. Cern says no because it helps him meet his goal of catching them all. PokeVision was shut down by Niantac which caused a huge issue because it was causing a lot of issues with the servers.    Cern asks Chip what his best Pokemon is now. Level 1400 Vaperon. Chip got some new lucky eggs which doubles your XP for 30 mins. Chip saved up all his evolves, Pidgeys and everything to maximize his XP in that 30 mins. Chip had saved up and spent the lucky egg on his lunch and walked down to the Ferry Building and got about 55k XP in 30 mins. Chip finished and it was cool to get all these new Pokemon who filled out his Pokedex. Cern’s best is also Vaperon around 8-900.    People are hoping that trading and battling other trainers is a new feature.   The old Gameboys you could link up your Gameboys with a USB type cable and battle each other. Chip had one of the OG Gameboys, but about 5 years after they came out.    Cern speaks of a new Nintendo that has 60 games and is about 60 bucks. You can plug it into your TV and play all the classics.    Chip found that the original Gameboy cost $89.99 in July of 1989. There is no way Chip’s parents bought his this thing brand new. In 1995 after tons of new Gameboys came out, Chip’s parents finally bought a Gameboy at a garage sale for $10 bucks. The first game they bought was Madden ’95 and his parents were amazed how much the game cost, so they realized they made a big mistake with the Gameboy purchase.    Chip felt that using the lucky eggs and getting tons of XP and walking back from the Ferry Building he wasn’t as into the game. The game won’t be fun for Chip if he is just catching tons of Pidgeys just to level up.    Cern recalls when he caught his first Charmander and was so excited. He got his Great Ball ready and caught that fiery bastard. Chip recalls of a time when a Pidgey escaped multiple Ultra Balls because Chip was trying to catch him just on principle.    The newest update fixed the ability to catch of some Pokemon. Chip has noticed that there are a more diverse batch of Pokemon since the new updates.    There was a story that broke that someone in Idaho caught a rare bird. Chip has no idea of any Pokemon above the 150 basic ones. They caught this rare ice bird and then Niantac revoked the birds from the trainers accounts. Chip wouldn’t be posting all over Facebook about how he caught this glitch Pokemon. Chip tells Cern how to properly pronounce Niantac. If Chip caught this rare Pokemon he would tell Cern and then dominate some local gyms. Chip relates it to having a big 12” dong and having it out at a family reunion that is how proud he would be.    Chip takes it on a weird tangent about finding things that aren’t yours. Chip sets the story of finding some cash in the store and when to return it. Chip will look around to see if there is anyone nearby to give the money back to. No amount of money would Chip or Cern turn into the store. If the money was in a money clip he would turn it in as would Cern. Chip found $13 bucks when walking his dogs one night and he finds the needs to share with everyone in this podcast. That sorta related to Pokemon, except that they found something that wasn’t theirs. Cern still struggles to pronounce Niantac, which could be from the Saint Archer Double IPA. Chip and Cern are #TeamInstinct.    If you are really enjoying Pokemon Go let Chip and Cern know on Twitter, FB and/or gmail.   Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger!     

Every 4 years the Summer Olympics come upon us. This year the Olympics are in Rio. Chip isn’t as pumped up for the Olympics as he was when he was a kid. Cern agrees. Early on the sports are that entertaining for Americans. The US Basketball team is smoking teams by 40 points. Rio has caused a huge issue, land of the phat asses, because of water pollution, crime and lack of police force. By the time they figured out that Rio didn’t have their shit together it was too late to do anything.    An article said that a water athlete who swim in this area are guaranteed to become sick. There was supposed to be a billion dollar project to fix that, but it never was done. Some athletes already have been mugged by people dressed as police officers.    Cern said he would take a rape if he was selected for the olympics.    During the kayaking event a participant was capsized because he hit a sofa that was under water. This dudes Olympic dreams are crushed cause of a sofa.    Cern was watching some beach volleyball and they made sure to state how clean the sand was. Chip wants to be the laundry guy after the Puerto Rico v Brazil beach volleyball. Sniff.    The following is the Chip and Cern “Yay or Nay” on the sports of the 2016 Rio Olympics:   Swimming including water polos and Michael Phelps stuff. That gets the yay.   Canoeing: Nay from Cern and Chip is on the fence.    Cycling including mountain biking, track and more. Cern is on the fence and Chip is a lock because he is a cyclist himself.   Figure skating: Cern grumbles no. He doesn’t look forward to watching it and doesn’t seek it out. Curling is worth it in the Winter Olympics. Chip turned Cern on the canoeing.    Volleyball: Duh double yay from Chip and Cern. Just cause of the booty.   As Chip calls them “horse things”: Is this the athlete doing it or the horse. Chip and Cern give it a nay.   Wresting: The OG olympic sport gets a double yay from Chip and Cern.   Archery: This is kinda the horse situation where who is doing the work? The bow or the archer? Chip puts a maybe on it.    Athletics: Double yay. Cern likes to see the track and field.    Badminton: Chip wants to watch it for 10 minutes to see how good everyone is then turn it off.    Table tennis: Chip would cut badminton to save table tennis.   Basketball: Double yay.   Boxing: Cern is ok for the boxing.    Fencing: That is a cool one to tune into. Worth the watch for sure, Chip wants to see someone get stabbed.   Field hockey: Ehhh.   Football (soccer): Yay, but they have FIFA and the World Cup, so why do you need the olympics too. Cern doesn’t really watch soccer.    Golf: Cern wouldn’t watch it, but would check the scores. Chip doesn’t have the time to watch all the rounds of golf.   Handball: Chip would watch just to see what it was about.    Judo: Chip would be interested in it and Cern agrees.    Pentathlon: yay   Rowing: Classic you have to have that.   Rugby: This is the first year it is in.    Sailing: Ehh   Shooting: Yay   Taekwondo: They just rolled passed this one.   Tennis: Yay   Triathlon: Yay cause Chip does this himself.    Chip and Cern talk DISCONTINUED Olympics sports.    Baseball: Chip and Cern are very disappointed about this.    Another style of rugby.   Basque Pelota: A weird ass sport sorta like squash. Only 2 teams were in the 1900 Olympics and Spain won the gold and France the silver. The score was unknown.    Cricket: Cern is surprised that it is gone because it is such an international game. The games go for so long it is hard to manage.   Croquet   Lacrosse: Surprising that is isn’t a sport cause it has so much popularity recently.    Why do they eliminate sports form the Olympic sports? TV views? Diversity of    Softball: Bring it back.   Tug of War: Last happening in the 1908 games and USA won 3 medals.    The entire Olympics is only two weeks long, which is strange because there is 4 years of hype.    With the Winter Olympics you can get your Olympic fix every two years. Both Chip and Cern don’t have the sense of pride that they used to be having.   Chip thinks that all the controversy at the different Olympics in China with the fake fireworks, and singing, etc people lose the pride.    If the Olympics were local and the prices weren’t too crazy Chip and Cern would be there to watch them. San Francisco or LA Chip and Cern would be there unless it was $500 to see some horse race.    The before and after picture of the huge expensive stadium and now it is a Burger King. Chip thinks that the Olympics need to be in first world countries because they can handle everything. When the Olympics are elsewhere the money is wasted.    The sport that Cern won’t miss is the 100m dash. Both, Gatlin and Gay are going to light it up. Chip likes the swimming cause Phelps. He will also look at the cycling and triathlon. Table tennis would be fun to watch as well.    What Olympic sport do you HAVE to see? Tweet us at @chipandcernshow or email at [email protected]   The Russians should all be banned and the state mandated doping is insane. Maybe that is why everyone isn’t super pumped  because of all the cheating.    Go USA! USA! USA!   Follow the Chip and Cern Show at www.chipandcernshow.com, Facebook and Twitter. Listen at iTunes, LibSyn, Soundcloud and more. Support the Chip and Cern Show on Patreon and in the Chip and Cern Show Shop. Give feedback at [email protected]. Most importantly tell a friend, neighbor and a stranger!