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Have a quick question to be explored on the show? Send us a text message! Include your email address if you would like a personal response. Click HERE
Diane & Rick talk to expert and researcher Dr. Ben Garber about the necessity of family law professionals approaching family law litigation from a systems perspective, using a Sherlock Holmes method of elimination to understand the dynamics of each case.
Dr. Garber’s website is at https://familylawconsulting.org/
The book (The Family Law Professional’s Field Guide to High Conflict Litigation) can be purchased at:
https://www.americanbar.org/products/inv/book/418772451/
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Diane talks with Rick about her frustrations with how the court system often works against the high-conflict family in litigation. Too many cooks (professionals) in the kitchen (on the case) can prove to be a cure that is worse than the disease.
Diane plugs the organization, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC):
www.AFCC net.org
The book (High Conflict Litigation) she refers to at the end of the episode can be purchased at:
https://www.americanbar.org/products/inv/book/418772451/
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Tara emails a question about her co-parent, who she thinks spoils the children and is too permissive. What is the best parenting style in divorce? Will the kids reject you if they don’t like your style? Diane & Rick discuss four parenting styles and the importance of balance in all situations.
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Travis writes in and asks about the nuances of co-parenting an infant when he and the other parent were never married. Is co-parenting after divorce different than if you were never married? What does the research say about sharing time with very young children? Diane & Rick answer these and other questions about this sensitive topic.
Social Science and Parenting Plans for Young Children (article by Richard Warshak, mentioned in this episode)
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Diane & Rick unpack the risks and benefits of using social media in long-distance parenting, as well as what details should be included in a long-distance parenting plan.
RESOURCES discussed on this episode:
https://cnfc.org/wp-content/uploads/Family-Court-Review-2016-Stahl-Critical-Issues-in-Relocation-Cases-A-Custody-Evaluator-s-Response-to-Parkinson-and.pdf
Creating the Perfect Long Distance Parenting Plan | OurFamilyWizard
How Having a Distance Parent Affects a Child - distanceparent.org
https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=&httpsredir=1&article=1126&context=extensionhist
Long-Distance Parenting: A Co-Parenting Guide for Divorced and Separated Parents | MU Extension
https://www.sessumsblack.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/12th-Judicial-Long-Distance-Parenting-Plan.pdf
https://www.delta.com/us/en/children-infant-travel/unaccompanied-minor-program
Family Law Attorney, Max Berube
https://www.linkedin.com/in/maxberube
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Tom emails a question about how to respond when his co-parent goes silent on a time-sensitive decision and how to react to the children, who seem to be using the same passive-aggressive techniques with him. Diane & Rick discuss how to resolve time-sensitive conflicts and talk to teenagers who are clearly stuck in the middle of the adult conflict.
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In this episode, Diane & Rick answer a question from a parenting coordinator about how to define a medical expense and an extracurricular activity, especially as it pertains to financial reimbursement from one co-parent to the other. What might seem simple to address when parents create a parenting plan can become very complicated if you are working with an impossible co-parent. Setting things up for success requires a more detailed framework in the parenting plan than using simple terms.
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David asks if he should ask the court for more time with his kids because of alienating behaviors he suspects their mom is encouraging. Diane & Rick discuss the risks of making an already insecure parent more insecure by further court action and how that may affect the children. They also provide advice about the importance of the non-custodial parent creating an environment where the children can be themselves and simply be children, regardless of what the other parent is doing.
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Diane & Rick help a mom with a daughter who is angry at her because she had an affair on her dad. How much detail do kids need about their parents’ breakup? What value is the “truth” in these situations? Listen to a discussion about how children form their identities through what they believe about their parents and how to protect a child’s self-esteem by limiting negative information about the divorce.
Diane mentioned a 2018 study about how adult children of divorce struggle with the parent who badmouthed their other parent when they were children. We couldn’t locate the exact study mentioned, but here is an article that discusses this topic in detail (with various studies cited).
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Emma from Atlanta thinks one of her co-parent’s decisions isn’t fair to their child, who is experiencing anxiety and nightmares. How much of it is connected to the dad’s decision, and what part does the co-parent conflict play? Diane & Rick unpack this complicated, but common, dilemma.
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