Behaviors that keep officers safe of the job can have negative impact on relationships with those they love.

The command presence that officers must have on the job is conditioned and can occur at home in certain situations.

This episode is a conversation with Cyndi and her husband Bobby (ret). They share not only information about how authoritarian spillover presents at home but how, why, and the impact in their own relationship.

Cyndi and Bobby offer several solutions so you can negate the impact in your own relationship.

Cyndi is a licensed professional counselor specializing in law enforcement and other first responders.

Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your relationship.

Code4Couples Essential Skills Guide

How to be a parent and not a cop at home. If you've ever caught yourself using "command presence" with your kids, this episode is your roadmap back to calm, connected parenting.

In this episode of the Code4Couples Podcast, Cyndi Doyle sits down with Lynn McLean, a licensed clinical social worker and registered play therapy supervisor, to explore how law enforcement parents can strengthen family connection by shifting away from authoritarian "command presence" parenting. Lynn shares practical tools from her parent training program, including the A.C.T. model (Acknowledge the feeling, Communicate the limit, Target an alternative) to help parents set limits with empathy and consistency. Together, they discuss how hypervigilance and control learned on the job can spill into home life — and how first responder families can build trust and calm through reflective responding and intentional communication.

Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship.

Grab your copy of Hold the Line → https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews

🎙 Invite Cyndi to speak or train your department → https://code4couples.com/training/

00:00 – Intro & why this conversation matters 02:10 – What "command presence" looks like at home 05:45 – The cost of authoritarian parenting for first responder families 09:00 – Lynn introduces the A.C.T. model 14:30 – Parenting with empathy: reflective responding in action 21:00 – Thermostat vs. thermometer parenting 27:00 – How to repair after yelling or losing your cool 32:00 – Learn more about Lynn's parent class 33:00 – Closing & final takeaways

Cyndi Doyle, LPCS and LEO Wife talks about issues that impact law enforcement relationship issues. This week is an encore episode of Shut Out and Shut Down Communication. Learn what causes the communication pattern and how to address it in your law enforcement relationship.

Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Your Law Enforcement Relationship (Click here to buy)

Free Workbook click here

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For speaking or training click here

About Me (jilljohnsonyoung.com)

Do you want to make sure your law enforcement relationship is strong enough to endure the ups and downs of life and the career? Cyndi shares the 5 essentials skills that skills that every law enforcement couple needs to have to stay connected and resilient! code4couples.com

Feeling lonely is often felt and talked about by police spouses but officers often talk about the loneliness they feel as well. The holidays seems to increase loneliness in both due. Guest Rebecca Lynn, Proud Police Wife, and Cyndi talk about how to conquer loneliness as a couple in this episode.

This episode of Code4Couples features retired police sergeant Michael Sugrue, author of Relentless Courage, who opens up about the deadly force incident that changed his life and how he nearly lost everything before finding healing. Michael and Cyndi explore the unspoken impact of trauma, isolation, administrative betrayal, and marital breakdowns in law enforcement life — and how first responders can recover through trust, therapy, and connection. His story offers a roadmap to resilience for officers, spouses, and families navigating the long-term effects of PTSD and trauma.

🎙️ In This Episode, You'll Learn:

The call that changed Sgt. Michael Sugrue's life

What happens after a critical incident — the unseen emotional aftermath

How isolation and shame can quietly destroy a police marriage

Why "administrative betrayal" can deepen trauma

Practical steps toward officer wellness, trust, and recovery

How connection, therapy, and vulnerability create resilience

Cyndi Doyle is a licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples® . She helps law enforcement officers and their partners build strong, connected relationships that survive the challenges of the job.

💥 Get Cyndi's book "Hold the Line" — the essential guide for protecting your law enforcement relationship →

Hold the Line: Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship by Cyndi Doyle → https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews

Relentless Courage: Winning the Battle Against Frontline Trauma by Michael Sugrue & Dr. Shauna Springer → https://www.amazon.com/RELENTLESS-COURAGE-Winning-Against-Frontline/dp/1736824414

🎤 Book Cyndi Doyle for training, workshops, or speaking: https://code4couples.com/training/

00:00 Intro: Michael Sugrue's background 02:00 The night that changed everything 13:00 Surviving the aftermath and internal battles 20:00 Administrative betrayal & leadership lessons 28:00 Marriage, shame, and isolation 36:00 Finding healing and trusted support 44:00 The power of vulnerability in law enforcement 48:00 Relentless Courage and Michael's mission today 50:00 Closing thoughts from Cyndi