Cognitive Contortions

Cognitive Contortions

By Cognitive ContortionsComedy
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Cognitive Contortions episodes

  • (Reptilians) Episode 4: The Boy Is Back In Town
    On this episode of Cognitive Contortions, we talk about David Icke’s last legitimate publications and his descent into Reptilian theory. Tyler catches the boys pissing in the corner, Scott swallows his word load, Ty introduces the podcast to the worst tongue noise in audio history, and the boy is back in town! Aaron returns from Ireland and introduces us to the, “tongue lengths”, system of measurement. We also introduce a new segment/game: “Theory, Truth or Bullshit!”
    As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441
    1 hr 25 min
  • (Reptilians) Episode 5: Sciatica Strikes Back
    Preview here!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERPE9S1WDT4
    On this episode of Cognitive Contortions, we tie off our reptilian series by discussing the Reptilian theorists ideological consensus. Tyler loses his mind over the Solo movie, Scott explains how the relationships between monogamous gold works, Ty realizes that Cognitive Contortions is really just a Star Wars Podcast, and Aaron turns red with questions.
    As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441
    1 hr 40 min
  • (Reptilians) Episode 2: How do you De a Caf?
    On this episode of Cognitive Contortions, we talk about David Icke’s turquoise phase. Tyler gives us a glimpse into Lord Vaughn Ickes personal life, Scott gets stuck at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, Ty discusses the finer points of being born without consent, and Aaron is away in Ireland, presumably working in the spec script for: John Wick, Knights of the Old Republic.
    As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441
    1 hr 17 min
  • (Reptilians) Episode 3: Get Thee Behind Me Satan and Beige Thyself!
    On this episode of Cognitive Contortions, we discuss David Ickes many publications and his theory of universal vibrations. Tyler explains what a petite novel is, (novella), Scott explains the love relationship between David Icke and Jesus, Ty learns of the Bowser trials one must undertake to get a library card, and Aaron is still away in Ireland working hard on his short erotic fiction, “Snake with an Ass”.
    Tyler did eventually get a Library Card: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h9SSFs50RA
    As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441
    1 hr 3 min
  • (Reptilians) Episode 1: Why Couldn't You Just Hold It?
    On our very first episode of Cognitive Contortions, We talk briefly about Reptilian theory and it’s father, David Icke’s, formative years. Tyler learns that the Men In Black cockroach grows up to be Wilson Fisk, We find out that Scott is David Icke incognito, Ty has a revelation that Reptilians are just the manifestation of depression and Aaron shits his pants with questions.
    As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441
    1 hr 19 min

About Cognitive Contortions

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Have you ever lain awake at night pondering the big questions as you stare at the ceiling, waiting for the ever impending embrace of death? Questions like: “Why do people think the earth is flat?”,…