Coming Out + Beyond | LGBTQIA+ Stories

Coming out is often an ongoing process, and sometimes people come out selectively to the people around them. It is not unusual for our family members to be the last to know this important piece about our identity. Podcaster Sarah St. John understands this truth. While Sarah has a happy life with her partner, she has yet to come out to her family of origin and has lost members of her support system in the coming out process. In this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal talks to Sarah about her coming out experience, the impacts of a conservative faith tradition, why the "right time" to come out does not exist, loss of friends and support systems, and much more.

In her book, "Perfectly Queer," author Jillian Abby recounts her journey of coming out later in life and overcoming chronic perfectionism. Jillian began her metamorphosis as a wife in a heterosexual marriage, home-schooling mom, and CPA. Sensing a change was needed, Jillian transitioned her job to Licensed Massage Therapist, and as she engaged in physical healing modalities she became more in touch with her authentic self, realizing she was queer. A recovering perfectionist, Jillian has learned to release unrealistic expectations, turn to self for validation, and be a peace with imperfection. In this lively discussion, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and Jillian talk about a wide range of topics, including overcoming pernicious perfectionism, the 'superpower' associated with coming out later in life, good and not so good therapists, internalized homophobia, and so much more.

After 10 years of unravelling her sexual identity, later-in-life lesbian Emily Bettdur came out and transformed her life. Now a later-in-life dating coach for women, Emily helps others feel connected to their authentic sexuality, navigate complex emotions, build self-esteem, and foster healthy relationships. In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and Emily talk about the coming out later in life experience, opening marriages as a bargaining strategy, family responses to coming out and how to handle them, therapy pitfalls, and much more!

Connect with Emily at https://thelatelifelesbian.com/

Emily's coming out song is This is Me from The Greatest Showman https://youtu.be/CjxugyZCfuw?si=Hm1boIfE6VzbCupi

Have you ever felt so disconnected from your body that you don't know what you feel or want? This week's guest on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories is Juliana Allen, a certified somatic breathwork facilitator who helps people become reconnected with their bodies and heal. Juliana, a later in life lesbian, found breathwork in her coming out process. In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and Juliana talk about why those coming out later in life can benefit from alternative healing, releasing trauma from the body (TW: anorexia), her experience opening her marriage after coming out, and the joyful, authentic life her has cultivated. 

Follow Juliana on Instagram: @reclaimingjuliana

Juliana's website: www.reclaimingjuliana.com

A song that is meaningful to Juliana is The Chicks' My Best Friend's Wedding. https://youtu.be/dMU0Pfn65lU?si=rYnnkRc6ecZvUziE

A book that is meaningful to Juliana is Glennon Doyle's Untamed: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52129515-untamed

This week's guest, Wes Schmitz, was raised in a small farming community in central Illinois. While growing up, he retreated deeper and deeper into the closet, forced there by the rhetoric around him. In college, homophobic jokes on campus and in the frat house kept him in the closet. Wes came out at age 29, emerging from the darkness and into a brighter future. Wes says "I never chose to be gay, but I finally chose to be happy." Since then, Wes has flourished in his career, co-hosted the "Two Bottles Deep" podcast, and has built a joyful life for himself in Nashville, TN. In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and Wes are reunited in the podcast sphere once again to talk about triumphing over negative messaging , the importance of having queer community, ditching shame for good, ditching alcohol for good and the positive consequences that followed, and what it's like to go from having FOMO (fear of missing out) to JOMO (joy of missing out). 

Wes' coming out song is Simply the Best by Tina Turner: https://youtu.be/GC5E8ie2pdM?si=7_zuOuz6Qr1wrj59

Wes also resonates with Miranda Lambert's song, Automatic: https://youtu.be/2ksWKOy665o?si=Q64rgduYd34ZRHcQ

A book that has special meaning to Wes is The Help by Kathryn Stockett: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4667024-the-help

TW: Bullying.

Raymond J Brune is Anne-Marie's special guest on this week's episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories. So many people are a slave to their trauma; trauma that results from sexual abuse, accidents, the loss of a loved one, terrorism – even bullying. The impacts of trauma can last a lifetime. Raymond found a path to healing and forgiveness four decades after being viciously bullied in school, and he discovered it completely by accident. Raymond reveals how his healing was precipitated in his upcoming book, The Art of Being Bullied: Reframing Trauma One Masterpiece at a Time, which drops August 20th. Ray is a TV executive, former executive producer of Good Morning America, World News Now, VP at E! networks and Fox Sports, among many others. Tune in to hear Ray's story of triumph over a past filled with abuse, and learn how he used his creativity to forge ahead to a place of healing. 

You can purchase Ray's book, "The Art of Being Bullied: Reframing Trauma One Masterpiece at a Time" on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Art-Being-Bullied-Reframing-Masterpiece-ebook/dp/B0D78NTSJ8?ref_=ast_author_m...

This week on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal chats with psychotherapist and art therapist, Jamie Winters. Jamie's professional experiences encompass a variety of roles, including social worker, educator, fine artist, farmer and yoga teacher. Jamie combines her love of neuroscience, psychology, art, nature, movement, and healing to facilitate growth, connection and empowerment for her clients. In this episode, Jamie shares with Anne-Marie her journey from self-realization that she is queer to coming out later in life, her experiences being entrenched in a faith tradition as a preacher's wife, what it was like to encounter homophobia in the church, and the subsequent steps she took to blossom and live an authentic, joyful life. 

You can learn more about Jamie's practice at www.rainbowlotustherapy.com

A film that is meaningful to Jamie is the Danish film, Antonia's Line (1995): Antonia's Line (1995) - IMDb

A song that is meaningful to Jamie is 'Wild Sweet' by Starling Arrow: https://youtu.be/-al77IYpmsg?si=sB_c_QcVymlJRPLk

In this very special Part 1 episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal speaks with identical twins Ronda Landers and Jonda Valentine, both later-in-life lesbians and founders of Nashville's iconic bar, The Lipstick Lounge. Ronda and Jonda's stories reflect their remarkable journeys, beginning with growing up with their dad, a closeted preacher, moving to Nashville, realizing they were lesbians later in life, having children taken away by an ex-husband and mother for being a lesbian, and more. This is an episode that truly gives you a snapshot of what it was like to be out and lesbian 35 years ago and the social, familial, and legal struggles that queer people faced. Ronda and Jonda will be back in a future episode to continue telling their story about how they built a queer community hub in Nashville, TN, when they started The Lipstick Lounge, voted one of the best bars in America by USA Today.

New to queer community and want to expand your circle of queer women friends? Join Anne-Marie, Barb and many other amazing guest speakers at Wing Women Weekend, Oct 16-20, 2024, in Provincetown, MA during their annual Women's Week. Learn more about this great getaway at www.wingwomenweekend.com.

Therapist Dr. Andreya Jones and sex and relationship coach Angie Zimmerman are kink-aware practitioners whose work is centered on helping individuals have more rewarding relationships and fulfilling sex lives. Deconstructing from conservative religion, overcoming history of sexual abuse, finding acceptance in community, exploring polyamory, and finding purpose are themes throughout Andreya and Angie's stories. In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal chats with Andreya and Angie about their coming out stories, their experiences in polyamory, the impact of purity culture on sexual function and much, much more!

You can learn more about Andreya and Angie's work at www.andreyajonescounseling.com

New to queer community and want to expand your circle of queer women friends? Join Anne-Marie, Barb and many other amazing guest speakers at Wing Women Weekend, Oct 16-20, 2024, in Provincetown, MA during their annual Women's Week. Learn more about this great getaway at www.wingwomenweekend.com.

This week on CO&B, host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes somatic embodiment and sex coach, Ayce Kypton. Ayce's story relates a journey of coming into his authentic gender, embracing transmasculine identity, emerging from conservative faith tradition, and stepping into his sexuality after decades of celibacy. His story is also one of perseverance, as Ayce experienced profound losses of family, faith, community and employment during his transition. Today, Ayce thrives as a coach for other transgender individuals who seek to become more connected to their bodies and to sexual pleasure.

You can find out more about Ayce and his services at aycekyptyn.com

Ayce's coming out song was You're Gonna Love It by Sun Heat https://youtu.be/RSx23VgRXVI?si=Q5qQYaNMIrGjNKwy

A program that had a profound impact on Ayce was Sex, Love & goop, on Netflix.

New to queer community and want to expand your circle of queer women friends? Join Anne-Marie, Barb and many other amazing guest speakers at Wing Women Weekend, Oct 16-20, 2024, in Provincetown, MA during their annual Women's Week. Learn more about this great getaway at www.wingwomenweekend.com.