Coming Out + Beyond | LGBTQIA+ Stories

NSFW: This episode contains strong language that may be offensive to some.

The current political climate is undoubtedly tough for the LGBTQIA+ community. How do we persevere in a society where so many would like to see queer people go back in the closet? This week on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal taps into the wisdom of individuals who have been out for several decades, discussing how to push through adversity and thrive. Anne-Marie is joined by her wife, Tonda McKay, who came out in the early '80s, Pam Nuchols, LCSW and therapist, and Robert McNamara, retired GM and founder of Franklin TN Pride. You'll here the group talk about their coming out stories, loss in the time of the AIDS crisis, emerging from conservative faith traditions, and how they've come through times that are even tougher than what we face in the present day.

Robert's coming out song is Don't You Want Me by The Human League: https://youtu.be/uPudE8nDog0?si=uC0pHYXId_qrFsm0

Pam's coming out song is Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon: https://youtu.be/zpOULjyy-n8?si=Mx9nk8yCXF8cwk9s

and Pam also recommends reading Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/165395.Rubyfruit_Jungle

Anne-Marie and Tonda mentioned a song by Chappell Roan, "Good Luck, Babe": https://youtu.be/6ENzV125lWc?si=admdyeKj1VdmNsZy

Tonda recommends reading "Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words, Gay worlds" by Judy Grahn: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/64767.Another_Mother_Tongue

Activist, scholar, mental health advocate, and The Trevor Project and WClub volunteer JJ King (they/them) is Anne-Marie's special guest on this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories. Anne-Marie and JJ met as JJ was beginning their coming out journey. Both were raised in conservative faith traditions that impacted their sense of self and autonomy. In this compelling conversation about women's power, Anne-Marie and JJ unpack the layered impacts of conservative faith, including homophobia, purity culture, and complementarianism. JJ shares their inspiring story of how they emerged from a family system and marriage where they were deeply oppressed to live their best life. Recorded just two days after the 2024 U.S. election, Anne-Marie and JJ also unpack why so many white American women voted against themselves.

Charlie Sprinkman is a young person with a vision! After working in a job that required him to travel across 50+ states, Charlie recognized there was a lack of visibility to queer-owned businesses when he tried to find them in his travels and his searches came up empty. This is how Everywhere is Queer was born. Everywhere is Queer is a free app where people can list and search for queer-owned businesses. With an enormous amount of hard work and a boost from major media outlets, Everywhere is Queer's visibility has dramatically taken off, with thousands participating on the app worldwide. Tune in to hear host Anne-Marie Zanzal chat with Charlie about their journey, from their early days growing up in conservative Wisconsin, coming out, his fearless 'just do it' attitude, the country that surprised him the most, his business coaching service, and much more.

You can learn more about the Everywhere is Queer app at https://www.everywhereisqueer.com/

A song that is meaningful to Charlie is 'Same Love' by Macklemore feat. Mary Lambert: https://youtu.be/hlVBg7_08n0?si=TOvY3aMo1wogizyj

A television show that Charlie recommends is 'Pose': https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7562112/

Find out more about Everything is Queer, sign up for his newsletter, and find links to connect on Instagram and TikTok at www.everythingisqueer.com.

Join host Anne-Marie Zanzal as she welcomes author and coach Annie M. Henderson to explore the diverse experiences of women coming out later in life. Annie shares her personal journey, highlighting the challenges of growing up Catholic in Northeast Texas and the profound impact of a lack of representation in her life. The conversation delves into the complexities of people pleasing and co-dependency, revealing how these patterns can shape relationships and self-identity. Annie's catalyst experience serves as a pivotal point in her story, leading to deep reflections on authenticity and self-acceptance. Tune in for an insightful discussion that emphasizes the uniqueness of each individual's journey while navigating the common themes of discovery and empowerment within the LGBTQIA community.

Women: dating in the LGBTQIA+ community, especially if you haven't dated in a very long time, or if you're new to dating other queer people, can feel very daunting! Figuring out how to navigate dating apps, learning how to talk to strangers, and identifying your priorities and goals are among some of the very real challenges that singles face. This week on the podcast, host Anne-Marie Zanzal chats with later-in-lifer Barb Rowlandson, whose coaching work has expanded to working with those who want to get the most out of their dating experiences.

You can learn more about her coaching and support programs for LGBTQIA+ women at www.lavenderdating.com.

In this episode, Anne-Marie and Barb talk about the 'toaster oven,' a reference to a joke from Ellen DeGeneres' 90s sitcom. You can learn more about that reference here: https://annemariezanzal.com/whats-up-with-the-toaster-oven-by-tonda-mckay/

KaRon Spriggs-Bethea, DSW, LCSW, educator and expert on the subject of bullying. KaRon experienced bullying as a young person, and today uses his expertise to support others who feel diminished as a result of bullying. In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal talks with KaRon about his lived experiences being bullied as a black, gay man, defines bullying, and discusses how to minimize shame, build self-esteem, and how to support the people we care about who are experiencing bullying.

Happy National Coming Out Day, 2024! In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal chats with two of her favorite lesbians: her wife, Tonda, and fellow coach, Barb. Anne-Marie, Tonda, and Barb share their thoughts on signs that you might not be as straight as you originally thought. A little cheeky and with a lot of laughs, these three touch on stereotypes in the lesbian community and throw a little sage advice into the mix. It's a fun episode you won't want to miss!

This week on CO&B and in honor of LGBTQ+ History Month, we are revisiting an episode from season 1 featuring Judy Wilson. Judy grew up in Nashville, Tennessee in a Roman Catholic family. She came out in the early 1970’s and live in San Francisco during the AIDS crisis. Her story is a testament to the courageousness underground culture of those who came out out in the South and an important reminder of the challenges faced by our queer elders.

Judy is a website designer and writer/mentor. You can find her at site-shack.com or www.judyannewilson.com.

This episode of Coming Out and Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories featuring a conversation with lesbian couple's expert, Dr. Robin Sesan originally aired in December 2023. Today, we reshare this episode with you and invite you to join us at Dr. Sesan's upcoming workshop, Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples, on Oct 17th in Provincetown MA during Women's Week. Tickets are available on Eventbrite, spaces are limited.

Link to the event information and to purchase tickets: Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples Tickets, Thu, Oct 17, 2024 at 1:30 PM | Eventbrite

Dr. Robin Sesan is a Licensed Psychologist and Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist specializing in working with lesbian/queer couples. She has recently developed an online coaching program for lesbian couples. Listen as host Anne-Marie Zanzal chats with Robin about her coming out later-in-life experience, challenges that are unique to the later-in-life experience, lesbian couple dynamics, and how to make your relationship go the distance.

Visit Robin's websites for her therapy practice: www.securelesbiancouples.com and www.thebrandywinecenter.com

Follow Robin on Instagram @securelesbiancouples 

Robin's coming out songs are Defying Gravity from the musical "Wicked" https://youtu.be/MslDnwerQRA?si=AL_c2AD4287DAdsf and The Power of Two by Indigo Girls https://youtu.be/hj0yVN8pFNw?si=I4uiTd7GH2YrJhZJ

A book that validated Robin's perspective on life was The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd.

Coming out is often an ongoing process, and sometimes people come out selectively to the people around them. It is not unusual for our family members to be the last to know this important piece about our identity. Podcaster Sarah St. John understands this truth. While Sarah has a happy life with her partner, she has yet to come out to her family of origin and has lost members of her support system in the coming out process. In this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal talks to Sarah about her coming out experience, the impacts of a conservative faith tradition, why the "right time" to come out does not exist, loss of friends and support systems, and much more.