Coming Out Gold

Do you know that 1 in 3 women are afraid of spiders?  Fear of flying, or Aerophobia, impacts an estimated 8 million.  Acrophobia - fear of heights - affects over 20 MILLION people.  On the heels of a pandemic, a host of other fears are presenting have increased in many around the world with nearly 60% of people polled saying fear of losing a loved one is their top fear.  With all that said, I want to propose the idea that the biggest fears we face as women are not about external circumstances or situations.

I believe the biggest fears we have exist because of the enemies inside of us.

Our real enemy is the internal oppressor…that bully on the inside we allow to push us around.  This bully tells us to keep playing small, reminding us of our perceived flaws and shortcomings.  This enemy is rooted in the sack of shoulds we are handed along with the expectations others have of us.

We have to quit permitting ourselves to live a less-than-life.  It's time to stop the false narratives and start breaking free. In today’s episode, we are going to do just that. Dive in and learn some strategies for spotting the enemies holding you back so you can go after the life you love!

Head here to find the blog version of the episode.

If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website:  rscoachandstrategist.com

Follow me on:

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Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist

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Welcome back for Season Two of the Coming Out Gold podcast!  I wish you could see the confetti cannons I am shooting right now!  In this episode, we have a bit of a catch-up about what I was up to during the two-week hiatus.  I also chat a bit about what is in store for season two.  I am so excited you are here and look forward to another amazing season on this journey together!

If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me.  You can find the scoop on my website:  rscoachandstrategist.com

Follow me on:

Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist

Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist

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I can't believe we are here at the Season one finale!  Seriously, the time has flown by and it has been an amazing ride.  I am so thankful for every single one of you who listened.  To show some appreciation I thought I would do a recap of the season.

I created this podcast for the woman who has walked through fires.  My goal for each episode is to encourage, empower, and equip you so you can be the woman you were created to be before the world told you you weren't enough.  You deserve to take what you've learned and begin making a way toward the life of your dreams.  To recap the season, I share:

The top three episodes based on your feedback

The biggest lessons I've learned

What's next

And because I like a laugh more than the average girl, I had to end with a laugh.  Enjoy some bloopers and laugh along with me as I show you a bit of the behind-the-scenes of what happens when I sit down before my mic, Selah. It is certainly never a dull moment!

I will be back the first Tuesday in June with the launch of Season Two! Until then, feel free to catch up on any episodes or blog posts you missed.

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Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist

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Have you ever found yourself in a storm waiting for someone to ride to your rescue?

As a coach, I have encountered many women who believe the false narrative that they need someone to save them.  This is natural given the patriarchal upbring most have experienced.  Add to that the romanticized version of women being damsels in distress and it makes it hard to break this pattern.  But the real truth is you deserve to be a woman who feels capable and equipped to handle whatever life throws your way.

Raise your hand if you are ready to:

Women have been sold a romanticized version of life.  We have long been portrayed as needing rescue.  When life throws us challenges we wait for a knight in shining armor to ride up on a white horse and save us.  Over time we internalize this messaging to the point that we feel incapable of rescuing ourselves.  Thanks to our participation in Good Girl Syndrome that I spoke of in episode 28, most of us are lacking confidence in being able to handle things alone.  We don’t even know we are abdicating our responsibilities. We simply believe this is the way it is for a woman in the world.  It is wrong to press the pause button on your life as you wait on a partner to fulfill you.  You deserve to chase your dreams regardless of your relationship status.

As a woman who has been single for over a decade now, I get the desire to have a partner.  But as a woman who has done so much work, I fully own my life.  I don’t need anyone to ride to my rescue.  I am capable and responsible for being the Shero of my own story. And I know if I can develop the skills and resilience needed to save myself, you can do the same!  I am here to show you a different option.

In this episode, I will give you a four-step plan to help you become the Shero of your own story.  If you will work to build confidence, increase your skills, and take ownership of your life, you will become the Shero of your own life.  Listen to this episode and then take action by following the plan outlined you will find you:

Don't spend another day frozen in place, waiting for someone else to handle your life.  Stop believing the false narrative that you are not capable of being responsible for your life and begin to discover the power you have to resolve them.  It is time you see you don’t need anyone’s permission to live the life of your dreams.

Head here to find the blog version of this episode.

Follow us on:

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Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist

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DISCLAIMER: I accidentally recorded this with the wrong mic setting.  Forgive the weird sound! 

Are you ready to make some big changes in your life?  In today's episode, I am sharing the three steps needed for every transformation regardless of its scope and scale. Have you ever felt stuck in some area of your life?  Perhaps it was a job or a relationship.  Maybe it was an unhealthy habit you have wanted to break.  

Many women share they feel stuck in areas of life.  They do not know how to make the changes needed.  There is a yearning to be certain of the path forward but they question if they have the tools needed to get there.  I help you unpack that today. If you want to be alive in your story, know with certainty where you're heading, these tools can help you feel confident about the steps to take to get there.  It is time to stop using excuses like busyness, responsibilities, or exhaustion - even if those are all true.  The truth is no one should spend their one beautiful life too busy to chase their dreams, so get ready to take back your power and transform your life! 

Many of the clients I have worked with are simply worn down by their lives.  Boundaries have been breached, calendars have overflowed, and the space for dreaming has been consumed.  They come to me with feelings like defeat and shame.  As we begin to work together they find chaos abate as order is restored.  We create pockets of margin, so they have time and space to rest, exhale, and build awareness.  Over time the vision and dreams for their life begin to crystalize.  This brings a wave of energy creating momentum, and their days begin with excitement as they move toward their dreams. 

As I mentioned last week, there have been seasons in my life when busyness was my Medal of Honor.  It kept me running from myself and allowed me to ignore the half-life I was living.  I compromised much of myself in an effort to cling to the bits of life I had.  But a half-life isn’t living, and I don’t want to see another woman accepting less than the full life of beauty they deserve.  If I can find my way back to the light, back to life, and craft a new vision for myself, you can, too, lovie. 

To get us there, we are going through a three-step process where you will learn to: Be encouraged Be empowered Be equipped If you allow yourself to be encouraged, you will begin feeling empowered. Once you are empowered, you can work to equip yourself for the next phase in the journey to your ideal life.  Then before you know it, areas of your life are beginning to transform.  

Listen to the podcast.  Seek out these three things.  Then hire a coach to help ensure you get there. 

If you will follow this plan, you will: 

Find hope and courage 

Build confidence 

Gain clarity 

Learn to trust yourself 

Create a vision for your future 

Build a strategy for success 

Head here to find the blog version of the episode.

Follow us on:

Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist

Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist

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Where are you on your tolerance scale of clutter?

Do you believe everyone has a junk drawer, or no one should have one?

Do you dream of a house that looks like it fell out of the pages of Conde Nast?

Do you dread having people drop by because you have some shame about the state of your physical environment?

Living in an environment where clutter and a lack of organization are in control is common for many women.  It is even more common following pandemic life.

In this episode, we are tackling physical clutter and looking at how it indicates clutter in your mind.  I hope to prove how bringing your external environment into order allows you to address inner obstacles that are in your way

Clutter and chaos in our physical spaces indicate we may be wearing blinders to what the clutter is covering.  Disorder and chaos in your environments could leave you with an inability to see the truth of what is going on because you are focused on the clutter.  It is wrong to live with blinders on because it prevents you from addressing the real issues undermining your life.

Many of the women I have worked with have had some type of physical clutter in their environments. Without fail a tsunami of awareness floods in when we begin to address the environmental roadblock. Before they even are aware, they see the stuff was simply covering up a heart issue they weren’t dealing with. The stuff became a physical representation of the internal struggles. But when addressed and given space to gain awareness, the issue they had been avoiding was so much smaller than they made it within their false narrative.

I come from a long line of pilers.  As a young person, I was so messy. There was no order to my space. Occasionally I would go on a rampage and hyper-organize all the things.  Naturally, this wasn’t sustainable because the clutter in my physical space was simply a representation of my inner chaos.  If I can learn to break this pattern by addressing the root of the chaos, you can do the same by following the same steps.  Today I will walk you through the process I use with clients.

If you will trust yourself to be strong enough to tackle areas in need of healing, you will learn a new way of being that tastes like freedom and feels like home.  You will create:

Let me help you see places that, if given your attention, will greatly improve your life.  You can do this one step at a time. And we can do it together.

Head here to find the blog version of the episode.

Follow us on:

Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist

Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist

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According to an article from Harvard Business Review, confirmation bias is the human tendency to search for, favor, and use information that confirms one's pre-existing views on a certain topic. It goes by other names, as well: cherry-picking, my-side bias, or just insisting on doing whatever it takes to win an argument.

In my work, I have found that most women are quick to point out their flaws and failings with harsh judgment.  We weaponize confirmation bias against ourselves by only searching for evidence of what we lack or have failed out.  We need to learn to be women who see ourselves clearly and fairly, women who accept areas needing work without judgment and celebrate our beauty and goodness with humble confidence.

A villain is fighting us, and self-judgment is the weapon used.  The noises of the world are constantly telling us we don’t measure up.  Then we hold a 10X magnifier to our flaws and can barely spot our magic even if we used binoculars.  It is unfair to continue to paint ourselves with such a skewed perception.

Many of the clients I work with have a challenge we discover is rooted in an identity problem.  They have spent so long writing false narratives they have lost the ability to see the truth of who they are now.  I spent years living under the false narrative trauma created.  It was a real challenge to find anything I found good about myself.  If I can learn to rewrite my narrative after decades of this, you can do the same in your life.

I want to help you develop the ability to see clearly and without judgment so you can make decisions with clarity and ease.  In today's episode, I will offer a simple plan to help you learn to break this pattern so you can learn to tell yourself the truth. Here are the three steps we will use to start telling ourselves the truth.

Follow this plan, and you will learn how to allow yourself to be aware and impartial.  You will also find evidence that proves your inherent value which will change how you approach your life.  In addition, you will:

Confirmation bias is often used to drive our decided narrative forward.  It trains us to tell ourselves lies.  When we learn to train our brain to tell the truth - the good, bad, and ugly truth - we can begin to live with clarity and break free from the false narratives that have had us playing small.

Don't forget to the 10% discount off any six month coaching packages through April to celebrate my birthday!  Listen to the episode for details.

Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for your free I Am Journal.

Follow us on:

Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist

Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist

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Have you ever felt frozen in place by fear?  Has it ever kept you from going after something you want or trying something new?  Most of us have experienced this.  But I believe the truth is we want to be women who acknowledge fear and press forward anyway.  We long to be women who aren't held back in any way because we are free from the prison fear keeps us locked in. It is time to recognize how brave we are by stepping forward despite fear to go after the lives we love.  Get ready to kick fear in the teeth and do the thing fear has kept us from for far too long.

Many of the women I have walked with have been held prisoner by fear. They have allowed it to keep them small, safely tucked in a comfort zone even as their soul longed for something new. Fear is real. The voices in our minds can get noisy, and they often take a grain of truth and inflate it to an epic size that we can’t see a way around. But there is a way forward.

We are going to do this in a three-step process:

ACT on these three steps and you will learn to face the fear and move forward anyway so you are never held prisoner to fear again.

Select one area where you know fear exists and examine it. Just state what is true without judgment.  Choose one thing you can do this week to face fear and move forward anyway.

By taking these actions you will:

By continuing to be a prisoner of fear you will:

If you need help, please reach out. I can help you face your fears so you can go after the life you want.  My coaching program addresses this challenge and helps create a strategy tailor-made for you and your specific needs.  You can also download the free plan I made for you at the link below.

Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for your plan to defeat fear.

Follow us on:

Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist

Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist

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Welcome back for episode 23 of the Coming Out Gold Podcast, Lovie!  Today we are tackling the subject of gratitude.  Many of us focus on this topic around Thanksgiving and the holidays.  I am here to help us see if we would practice it daily our attitude will change.  This will lead to a change in our perspective on the seasons we walk through.

Many women are so mired in the mundane we miss the beautiful moments within them.  It's time we become women who see the magic of ordinary days by focusing on ways to be grateful even in the challenging, messy, and difficult moments.  We want to be fully alive and present in our lives.  Gratitude helps us do that.

The monotony of survival is a roadblock toward practicing gratitude.  Most of us are too busy to be present in the everyday moments.  Our minds are so focused on what’s next, we can’t take in the beauty of each moment.  It is wrong to not practice gratitude for the one beautiful life you are living.

I understand what it is like to be so entrenched in the stress and monotony of every day the heaviness of responsibilities leaves little margin for practicing gratitude. It is hard to chase gratitude when you are busy chasing your tail.

In this episode I will offer this simple process for chasing gratitude:

Follow these simple steps to chase down gratitude and find more joy in your life.  They will:

Without chasing gratitude, you may:

I can teach you to find gratitude in every season so you keep your focus is on possibilities and off scarcity.  Trust me: this is NOT about toxic positivity. It is about acknowledging reality AND ALSO choosing to be grateful no matter the situation.  Be sure to grab the free daily journal download at the link below so you can get started chasing gratitude today.

Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free gratitude journal download.

Follow us on:

Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist

Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist

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Have you heard the saying "practice makes perfect?" I think there with posters with this quote hanging in most classrooms growing up. In today's episode, we are going to debunk that epic myth, because practice doesn't make perfect. PRACTICE MAKES PROGRESS.

Many women are so afraid to fail they never try. Worst yet they use perfection as an excuse to not take a step of faith in the direction of her dreams. I am here to tell you it is time to stop living by this lie and start feeling confident in your gifts. It is time to be willing to take a chance on your dreams with no excuses and no need to seek perfection. It is possible to feel confident to move in the direction of your dreams instead of seeking perfection. You can stop chasing the approval of what others think and instead focus on running your race.

As a trauma survivor, one of the coping skills I put in place to survive was perfection. Anything less than perfect brought criticism, and no matter how hard I tried, it never seemed to measure up. I never seemed to measure up. So I quit trying unless I knew it would be perfect. But perfect is a lie. By showing up, staying in the arena, practicing CPR (consistent, persistent, resilience) I learned to make progress. If I can break that pattern, you can, too. And there is nothing more beautifully brave as a woman who keeps getting back up, showing up for herself and those watching, and presses on. I will take that woman over a filtered facade of a perfect woman any day, because the woman who gets up and stays in the fight, she's the kind of woman I want to be friends with. She the kind of woman I will stand beside and fight for any day of the week.

You can practice making progress in three steps:

Follow these steps in every area of your life and you will make progress in the direction of your dreams:

Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download of a quote to help you remember to practice making progress.

Follow us on:

Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist

Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast  or @rscoachandstrategist