When we discuss this C-PTSD thing... what the fuck are we really talking about? What is it? How does it happen? What are the long lasting effects?

What did I forget? Write to me at t-mfrs.com

Revisiting an old post, from May 2020. 

Tired of painting on a happy face? We all are. For better or for worse, we have all been programmed to keep our heads down and project utter bliss, or at least sufficient satisfaction, to the entire planet. This only equips us with the universal expectation that everyone is actually fine, and we should be too. 

If you're tired of being "fine," you know where to find other Fuckers. Join up at www.t-mfrs.com

Always waiting for something to change before you can? Convinced that the obstacle is too large - and uncomfortable - to start climbing? Yeah, me too. But rest assured, no one knows what the fuck they're doing. The inferiority fear and resistance is more than half the battle. Get moving and figure it out as you go, Motherfucker. 

Find me at t-mfrs.com 

Sound quality warning! Get ready for some birds and bees.

When you can't talk about your experiences and subsequent mental illness... you hide it. I spent my life trying to patch the holes with all sorts of disguise; fading into the background, embodying a subservient worker bee, coating my exhausted face with layers of paint. In hindsight, to pacify other people and fit into the "healthy herd." 

Did it ever really work? Nah, motherfuckers. Nobody has ever called this walking war against self "healthy or happy-looking" until I actually got a grip on positive living. And that was like... right now. 

Sorry for the nature-sounds; trying a new walk and talk format. Hope you enjoy ambient bird calls and bugs screaming. If you don't... shout it out. [email protected] 

Compulsive workaholic for the sake of escaping your own life? Holler - lifetime member of the Overdoing It club. All that self-neglect in the name of accomplishing? It makes me lose sight of my complex trauma recovery. This past month of June, I was deep in a work-tunnel, escaping from myself. 

This Traumatized Motherfucker cast/blog/community is fun and fulfilling - but I forgot something critical - TMFRs isn't running the show; I'M the real project. You know I have plenty to work on without any screens in front of my face; building a life and growing into a better human. 

Somewhere along the line, I sold myself out. I stopped tuning in and paying attention to my own brain. Just like I do over and over. So this week, I've been on HIATUS from T-MFRS. Taking a time out from writing. Rethinking things. Processing new events. Getting my brain back in order. 

Here I am, relapsing. Workaholics Anon starts next week. Meet me on the Discord channel @ t-mfrs.com if you relate.

I’m one rigid bitch. Maybe not in my beliefs or judgements of others... but shit, I can’t handle my own self. My days? Wake up, work out, werk werk werk until these eyes are ready to BLEED, promise I’m going to do better tomorrow, rinse and repeat.

I never realized that this always-moving, constantly-accomplishing mindset was a part of my trauma. But hey, like everything else in life, it all goes back to childhood coping, fucked up core beliefs, anxiety and avoidance. Thanks, trauma! You made me a high achiever and got my ass out of poverty... but now you grate on my mental and physical health everyday. 

Time to stop pretending this chronic accomplishing is a merit. It's a fucking addiction. Workaholics Anon, established 2020.

Wanna join? Check the podcast bio for links to the Traumatized Motherfuckers website and request to enter the Discord community.

Remember that post a few hours ago, "Enjoy saying goodbye to people you love"? How about an immediate update on putting it into practice? Hilarious, universe. I’m here for it. 

I'm talking real shit that's happened in my week. Things I normally keep to myself... buttfuckit, the timing is too ironic. Who's ready for a rant about actively accepting loss and the challenges of going unheard to roughly half the population?

Warning: I miiight be dragging hard on men in this one. Sorry if you're offended, but not apologizing for what I've seen. 

PS- pants alien(TM); my term. 

Feel it, fear it, or fuck it? Lemme know at [email protected]

Learn to say goodbye to people you love. "Yeah fucking right?"  Fair. But there are times when I can believe it. 

Relationships have always been the most important part of my life; for worse or for... still worse. You know, I've lost a lot of folks in the past year. Don't worry, they're still above ground - but we don't take walks together anymore. 

At any other time, these relationship losses would be the final straw for this hunchback. But(t) luckily, I've learned how to enjoy saying goodbye to people. Even ones that I love deeply. Even ones that fucked me right over. 

You feel? Come say hey or join the Traumatized Motherfucker community at traumatizedmotherfuckers.com (www.t-mfrs.com).

Last time we talked Endless Trauma Loops pt I, I recounted the disappointing discovery that I've been living the same trauma-born mistakes for the past 10 years on repeat. I was both so smart - and clearly so fucking dense - to get stuck in the same life-halting traps for a decade. So, what are those repeat mishaps?

Stagnancy and overdrive, tough relationships, anxious attachments, health-obsession and abuse, escapism, and an undercurrent of giving up on myself, to name a few... Sounds familiar? Eek, sorry Fucker.

But also, while I was too dumb to stop making the same choices in different costumes on repeat, at least I had SOME idea of the right ways to get out of it. There are also positive notes of gratitude, confidence, optimism, and narrative thinking, for short-lived times. 

If I want to break the loops, I just have to make sure that my trauma brain doesn't push these ways of thinking to the back of the line again. I got it this time - hopefully. How bout you?

If you've got something to say, let's fucking hear it! Find me and the other Traumatized Motherfuckers at t-mfrs.com. Email me at [email protected] to say hey. Join the private Discord group and get connected with MFs eerily like you.

Last time we talked Endless Trauma Loops pt I, I recounted the disappointing discovery that I've been living the same trauma-born mistakes for the past 10 years on repeat. I was both so smart - and clearly so fucking dense - to get stuck in the same life-halting traps for a decade. So, what are those repeat mishaps?

Stagnancy and overdrive, tough relationships, anxious attachments, health-obsession and abuse, escapism, and an undercurrent of giving up on myself, to name a few... Sounds familiar? Eek, sorry Fucker.

But also, while I was too dumb to stop making the same choices in different costumes on repeat, at least I had SOME idea of the right ways to get out of it. There are also positive notes of gratitude, confidence, optimism, and narrative thinking, for short-lived times. 

If I want to break the loops, I just have to make sure that my trauma brain doesn't push these ways of thinking to the back of the line again. I got it this time - hopefully. How bout you?

If you've got something to say, let's fucking hear it! Find me and the other Traumatized Motherfuckers at t-mfrs.com. Email me at [email protected] to say hey. Join the private Discord group and get connected with MFs eerily like you.