This episode is about the experience of Demand Avoidance + how it connects not only to our experience of autonomy-loss, but ALSO our experience of uncertainty—not just that we don't want to do the thing, but that we actually don't yet know how.

In this episode, I share about the differences between demand avoidance and procrastination, and how the understanding of autonomy needs strengthens our resources for support. I'm then breaking down how overwhelm, uncertainty, and lack of clarity can influence the experience of demand avoidance, and how understanding this can bring create even more options for support!

Quick Vyvanse ADHD med update from me on this episode, and then jumping into the main topic for today: Nervous System Regulation vs Nervous System Capacity Building, where capacity building can be more effective than regulation, and how I've applied this concept to paying off my post-Hurricane Helene credit card debt. 

**THIS EPISODE IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE!!** I'm only sharing my personal experiences and reflections! Talk to your doctor!

In this episode I share about what I noticed on 20, 30, and 40mg of Vyvanse, and what I'm looking for to know when I've found the 'right' dose of Vyvanse for me (hopefully!) 

I needed to step away from the ADHD Writer’s Summit. In this episode I share about what led me to this decision: the wall I hit around capacity, unstable meds, reflection in therapy. I'm unpacking the guilt of saying no, and how I’m learning to see these moments as reparenting and care instead of spiraling into shame. If you’ve ever wondered whether your ‘self-sabotage’ is really just your neurodivergent support needs showing up, this one’s for you. <3

**DISCLAIMER** This is not medical advice! Please talk to a doctor before making any important medical decisions that would affect your health!! Repeat: This is not medical advice! 

Sharing my own personal experiences on Vyvanse so far, comparing to my experience with Adderall XR (the only other ADHD med I've tried), and how I am evaluating my executive functioning & symptoms as the week has gone on.

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not medical advice!! I'm only sharing my personal thoughts and experiences.

Link to work with me 1:1 in coaching!

Writer's Summit October 10-12

This episode is a case study on a 'big scary project' where I've been feeling a lot of overwhelm, fear, demands, and perfectionism. In it, I'm sharing with you how I process through the emotions that come with big projects like this one (shame, overwhelm, avoidance, shutdowns, meltdowns). This is an exploration on what supporting myself through it looks like, how I sniff out autonomy where I can find it, and how I'm doing things differently vs when I was younger and used adrenaline, cortisol, and fear of humiliation to get things done. (That's growth!)

WE ARE BACK IN THE HOUSE!!! This feels like a whole new chapter of the Connected Divergents pod, and certainly of my life!

Excited to chat with you about what it's been feeling like being back, and a discovery I made about how I experience 'routines' with my autism: not linked to time or sequences, but physical space & visual cues! Hope you enjoy <3

Visit my Substack. Wanted to hop on and share this in real-time—today, I'm going through a *RUMINATION SPIRAL* on my day off! Related to not very fun hotel and insurance and post-hurricane things. I'm catching myself feeling like, if I could just 'close the loop', get to the end, and fix it—then, I won't have to feel this way anymore. I'm also feeling like, "I must be bad. I must have done something wrong. If I hadn't done anything wrong, then this wouldn't have happened." It's bringing me back to feeling like a little kid—scared and worried. In this episode, I'm sharing what I'm realizing as I experience it, and talking about a neurodiversity-affirming framework of compassionate understanding, reflective questions, and values-aligned actions that help support me through these moments. 

In this episode, I read a personal essay about growing up as an undiagnosed PDA-profile autistic child. It’s a story about control, shame, and the misunderstood ways resistance shows up in kids who are fighting for autonomy. I talk about meltdowns, self-harm, emotional neglect, and the long path toward healing and self-trust.

This is about what happens when you bury parts of yourself to survive... and what it looks like to slowly bring them home.

Content note: This episode includes reflections on childhood trauma, spanking, emotional neglect, self-harm, and depression. Please listen with care.