Connected Divergents

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not medical advice!! I'm only sharing my personal thoughts and experiences.

Link to work with me 1:1 in coaching!

Writer's Summit October 10-12

This episode is a case study on a 'big scary project' where I've been feeling a lot of overwhelm, fear, demands, and perfectionism. In it, I'm sharing with you how I process through the emotions that come with big projects like this one (shame, overwhelm, avoidance, shutdowns, meltdowns). This is an exploration on what supporting myself through it looks like, how I sniff out autonomy where I can find it, and how I'm doing things differently vs when I was younger and used adrenaline, cortisol, and fear of humiliation to get things done. (That's growth!)

WE ARE BACK IN THE HOUSE!!! This feels like a whole new chapter of the Connected Divergents pod, and certainly of my life!

Excited to chat with you about what it's been feeling like being back, and a discovery I made about how I experience 'routines' with my autism: not linked to time or sequences, but physical space & visual cues! Hope you enjoy <3

Visit my Substack. Wanted to hop on and share this in real-time—today, I'm going through a *RUMINATION SPIRAL* on my day off! Related to not very fun hotel and insurance and post-hurricane things. I'm catching myself feeling like, if I could just 'close the loop', get to the end, and fix it—then, I won't have to feel this way anymore. I'm also feeling like, "I must be bad. I must have done something wrong. If I hadn't done anything wrong, then this wouldn't have happened." It's bringing me back to feeling like a little kid—scared and worried. In this episode, I'm sharing what I'm realizing as I experience it, and talking about a neurodiversity-affirming framework of compassionate understanding, reflective questions, and values-aligned actions that help support me through these moments. 

In this episode, I read a personal essay about growing up as an undiagnosed PDA-profile autistic child. It’s a story about control, shame, and the misunderstood ways resistance shows up in kids who are fighting for autonomy. I talk about meltdowns, self-harm, emotional neglect, and the long path toward healing and self-trust.

This is about what happens when you bury parts of yourself to survive... and what it looks like to slowly bring them home.

Content note: This episode includes reflections on childhood trauma, spanking, emotional neglect, self-harm, and depression. Please listen with care.

The start of this episode features Biscuit's purring! :D Quick lil dive on how if you're neurodivergent, you might be better-off setting process-based goals instead of outcome-based goals. Outcome-based goals tend to be fairly rigid, and often feel very 'far away'. With process-based goals, we are here to have you feeling focusing on there here & now, and the present that's right in front of you—not a distant dream for a some-day, one-day future! 

In this episode, I'm sharing a recent discovery about a "program" that runs in my brain when I'm feeling unsafe: the belief that I need to do MORE to fix it and reach safety. But the truth is, doing more & more & more only heightens my stress and anxiety—and makes me feel very, very unsafe. I'm talking about a framework and perspective on what actually reinforces the experience of safety—not to fix the problem at hand, but to close the loop on the "I'm not doing enough" program itself.

I think I might actually be coming out of burnout—and the turning point was... an allergy spray? In this episode, I'm sharing my experiences navigating burnout, the subtle shifts and surprising changes I've been noticing lately, and how a new medication has unexpectedly started reshaping my relationship with work, rest, and energy. If you've ever struggled with burnout, this one's for you.

Disclaimer: This episode is not medical advice. It reflects my personal, highly subjective experiences with ACT, CBT, and DBT. Please talk to a qualified professional for support tailored to you!

Resources:
dbt.tools
Book rec: ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris

In today's episode I'm sharing a tool for reflection and curiosity that I am LOVING for building intimacy around the things you want/love to do (but are finding very hard to do!). Updates on how I've figured out what works for my brain & body around movement, and ways that I've incorporated what works for me with movement into my writing practice!

Instagram Post: Thinking about doing the thing COUNTS as doing the thing
Essay: 'This Counts as Work' for Burnout Recovery